


More Than Enemies

by thinknicht



Series: More Than Enemies Verse [1]
Category: Naruto
Genre: AU, BAMF Women, Badass Sakura, Character Deaths, F/M, Gen, Haruno Sakura-centric, M/M, Politics, Slow Burn, Worldbuilding
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-02-11
Updated: 2021-02-06
Packaged: 2021-02-28 03:33:21
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 16
Words: 160,757
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22667056
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thinknicht/pseuds/thinknicht
Summary: Useless. Fangirl. Paper ninja.Think you know this story? Think again.Crackish at the beginning
Relationships: Haruno Sakura/Uchiha Itachi
Series: More Than Enemies Verse [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1763581
Comments: 1115
Kudos: 1552
Collections: ItaSaku, Sakura Variety Pack, Strong BAMF Sakura





	1. The Catalyst

**Author's Note:**

> Any and all reviews are welcome. Enjoy :)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Team seven is in the middle of the first stage of the exam, awaiting to be told the tenth question by Ibiki, as Sakura deliberates whether to raise her hand or not.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ATTENTION PLEASE!
> 
> I've been getting a lot of questions about some basic plot points, so I'll be answering a few to give y'all a quick heads-up on what to expect and what not to expect: 
> 
> **Will Sakura get over her annoying crush/fangirl phase and become cool?**  
>  -Absolutely. By the end of the story, she will be a total badass and a force to be reckoned with! However, it won't happen over night. 
> 
> **Will there be humor like we've seen so far during the whole story?**  
>  -Yes and no. The humorous beginning reflects Sakura's innocence and naiveté. So, while the humor component won't disappear, there will be quite a bit of angst and intrigue by the end as the plot gets progressively more convulted. If you're more interested in the intrigue, politics etc parts, feel free to skip ahead.  
> Other concerns:  
>  **-Even if she'll be strong and hella badass, Sakura will NOT become OP nor a Mary Sue, and her growth will be _gradual_.**
> 
> **-Expect mayor character development for Itachi, Sakura, Kakashi, Sasuke, Ino, Danzo (yes, I kid you not) and Hinata, including new skill-sets which differ from canon.**
> 
> **-This AU isn't canon compliant at all, meaning you can expect Orochimaru to be a complete wildcard, the chunin exams to have a different proctor, and so on, but every single aspect of the divergence is a side effect of the initial small change of Sakura raising her hand**

**More Than Enemies**

* * *

Sasuke's apartment was too high up to risk falling off its window, so Sakura went the other route. Her feet clung to its outer walls as she sprinted up, up, up, toward the rooftop, far away from there. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw movement behind her. Was it the man chasing her? It must be. She ran harder.

In a matter of seconds she'd made it to the rooftop. She felt more than saw him right behind her by the prickling at the back of her neck. He was onto her, a terrified part of her mind noted. But there was no time to think. She took a frantic turn, the sound of clattering tiles following in her wake. When she got to the end of the rooftop, she jumped, making it safely the next one, but even as she was in midair, she could sense that he was about to catch up. Half out of instinct, half out of sensing him, Sakura flipped, managing to change course mid jump – and just in time, too, for something sizzled past her next second.

It was a sword, and it'd have beheaded her.

The knowledge of what might've been barely registered. She had to keep moving. In the blink of an eye, Sakura had crash-landed on yet another rooftop, her sandals ripping noisily against it, tiles breaking and springing up behind her... but then she lost her balance and in the next second she was free-falling into the street. By the skin of her teeth, she managed to veer in midair and latch onto a light calble with her feet, but her momentum was too great, and like a wild corkscrew she rotated upon the cable, sliding downward with sparks flying in her wake, tumbling in increasingly tighter spirals. Finally she let go and careened across the street at breakneck speed, managing to break her fall and land safely on the ground, but only just. Before she could recover, he'd caught up. The man was standing before her.

As she crouched there, on that cold floor, staring up at her would-be murderer, Sakura closed her eyes.

Her knees buckled, her throat clogged. His killing intent was too much. None of it went away even after she closed her eyes, praying for it to be quick. Would dying hurt? She heard him take a step, then another. She could feel his breath, quiet as hers was loud, heard him unsheath his sword. Her fingers shook. These were her last moments... Sakura's yaw clenched. Yes. These were her last moments. Once again she opened her eyes and stared defiantly into his own cat-like slits. These were her last moments and she'd damn well stare her murderer down in them.

Sakura Haruno would die a weakling, but she wouldn't die a coward.

* * *

**One month ago...**

Sakura was staring at the back of Naruto's head as shethought furiously. She felt her heart reaching out to him. He was so determined, so very set on becoming Hokage, on reaching his silly dream… it broke Sakura's heart to think that he might never be able to keep dreaming if he failed this exam. She didn't want to see that fiery spirit crushed.

Logically, Sakura knew that she had gotten every question right. And Sasuke-kun was probably going to pass as well. But Naruto… there was no way he had answered a single question correctly. This was way above academy level, way beyond Naruto's capabilities. In fact, Sakura hadn't seen him write at all!

Her poor teammate. It must be so hard for him – his pride wouldn't let him give up, but if he didn't, he would never reach his dreams. The consequences of failing were too dire. Not just for him, but for the entirety of team seven.

Sakura wondered. Should _she_ raise her hand…?

To be honest, quitting now left a bad taste in her mouth, especially as she had done amazing. But Kakashi-sensei was right. His words of wisdom came back to her. _Those who break the rules are scum, but those who abandon their teammates are worse than scum!_ She couldn't be so selfish, not when Naruto might never…

Ahem. She felt terrible. And to think that only a few months ago she'd thought of him as an annoyance rather than a teammate…

She wished so badly that she could help him… the question popped into her mind again. Should she raise her hand to soften the blow for him? The idea of giving up, especially after acing the test left a bitter taste in Sakura's mouth. But was it really giving up, or was it just a strategic retreat? After all, team seven could still try again next year, when they were more experienced and better prepared to tackle the chunin exams. Sakura recalled her old academy instructor, Iruka-sensei, preaching to her class about patience being a virtue that would help them greatly in their ninja careers. Keeping his advice in mind, Sakura thought, and thought, and thought… and made up her mind.

(Little did she know that this decision would change the course of her entire life.)

She raised her hand.

In a heartbeat, one of the chunin proctors on standby cried out team seven's assigned numbers, saying they'd been disqualified.

Sakura felt like she was in a dream as she slowly got up and stumbled toward the door. She saw her rival, Ino, staring at her with clear surprise. She could almost physically feel all eyes in the room trained on her.

As soon as team seven was outside of the testing room, Sakura knew she'd made a mistake. Both of her teammates seemed mad. She tried to explain her thought process, that they could try again when they were better prepared, but it was to no avail. Naruto's arms were crossed, and she felt like she was talking to a brick wall for all that Sasuke-kun reacted. His eyes were clouded with hate. The only thing about him that was moving was his jaw, which was clenching ominously.

"I have to become strong," he interrupted her suddenly.

"But Sasuke-kun, you already are!" cried Sakura.

" _Stronger_ ," Sasuke grit out, his eyes filled with condemnation. "You're worse than the dead-weight, Sakura. Didn't you hear me? What I have isn't a dream, it's an ambition. You don't understand. I have to do this. I have to kill _that_ man. I can't afford to–" He cut himself off. "You're wasting my time." He was giving Sakura a narrow-eyed stare, borderline a sneer, his breaths ragged, and before she could make her excuses, he'd shoved past her brusquely.

"Huh? Huh?" Naruto was looking between them nervously. "Oi, teme! The person you wanted to kill, it's not me, right?" He wasn't looking at Sakura. She wasn't sure whether it was a conscious decision on his part (knowing Naruto, probably not), but it was clear that he was avoiding to look in her general direction. Was he also angry at her?

_…that ungrateful twat!_

Sakura could feel her tears building. She couldn't stomach the thought that both her teammates hated her.

"No," was all Sasuke said as he walked away.

Naruto was about to follow him, but Sakura clasped his arm. She tried to explain herself:

"Naruto, don't you see? You're a baka, you would've failed the test for sure, and then you wouldn't have been able to become hokage anymore!"

He squinted at her moodily. "What are you talking about, Sakura-chan! A stupid test like that wouldn't have stopped me! Believe it!"

"Hm!" Her throat felt raw. "See if I care, the next time!"

Naruto looked at her for a moment. "Sakura-chan…" He gave her a searching look, but said nothing. They stood there for a moment, awkwardly, until Naruto grimaced sheepishly. Then, he turned around and ran to catch up to Sasuke.

Well, at least he still called her Sakura-chan. She never would've thought that hearing it would be a relief. Sakura's shoulders sagged.

She could practically hear Ino singsonging: "My, my. How the mighty have fallen, hm, Forehead?"

* * *

Kakashi found them as they were exiting the building. He didn't try breaking the ominous silence. It was truly a testament to his laid-back personality that he could manage to read his Icha Icha book in such a tense situation. For once, both Naruto and Sasuke seemed to have set aside their differences to build a joint front against Sakura.

Seemingly unaffected in the least, Kakashi, meandered ahead of them, leading the three genin back to the red bridge where they usually met in the mornings. "So." He propped his hip against the bridge. "What gives?"

There was an uncomfortable moment of silence.

"We didn't pass." Sakura forced herself to break it.

Sasuke scoffed hatefully and Naruto crossed his arms again.

"Ma, ma. You guys are way too uptight about this. I wasn't expecting you to pass either."

"Liar!" Naruto shouted.

"We could've passed no problem!" Sasuke grit out, staring hatefully at Sakura again.

To be honest, Sakura wasn't sure he'd looked at her so many times in a row in the entirety of their acquaintance. What did that say about her chances of dating him, she wondered sadly.

"I did expect you to pass the first stage," Kakashi amended, scratching his head. Sakura noticed with a snap that he'd pocketed his book. "But I didn't know that your proctor was Morino Ibiki." His lone eye narrowed.

"Even so, we were about to pass," Sasuke bit back, "but _she_ ruined it!"

"Yeah! We still hadn't heard the tenth question!" Naruto chimed in, but Sakura was still stuck on Sasuke's vitriolic words, on his hateful expression as he said them.

(But she ruined it, ruined it, ruined it.)

Did he… did he hate her now?

Sakura could feel moisture start prickling at her eyes. Discretely, she leaned over the bridge, facing in the opposite direction of Kakashi-sensei. Her tears fell unseen into the pretty blue water.

Suddenly, a hand fell upon her head, which she knew instinctively must be Kakashi's.

"Ma… relax, you two. You'll do a better job next time, ne?"

"Yeah, no!" Naruto shouted. "I wanna be hokage! I don't have time to wait around for a year!"

"Neither do I, Kakashi," Sasuke followed up with narrowed eyes.

"Strength doesn't equal rank," Kakashi drawled simply. "Even if you had made chunin (which probably wouldn't be the case), as genin you will have more time to train. So! Let's get to that tomorrow. We meet here as usual. Dismissed."

When no one moved, Kakashi retrieved Icha Icha Paradise from his pouch and stuck his nose in it. This, as far as anyone was concerned, was the universal sign for "bugger off, brats". Still no one had moved (from what Sakura could tell), so Kakashi lazily waved a hand in dismissal and said: "Shoo."

And that seemed to do the trick.

"Shoo! He says! I'll say, when I'm hokage, no one will tell me that!" Sakura could hear Naruto's enraged muttering decrease in volume, along with another pair of footsteps which must be Sasuke's.

That was good. She didn't want them to see her tears. But neither did she want Kakashi to see them, and he had yet to leave. Instead of puffing away as usual, her sensei had remained right there next to her, leaning casually against the bridge as he thumbed through the worn pages of his trusty novel.

It must be said that, during the course of the entire conversation, Sakura had been fighting to suppress her sobs. It had been a very long time since she'd been so overwhelmed by emotion, and, while she was successful at keeping quiet, her whole body was, though silently, shaking just the tiniest bit. But Kakashi-sensei wouldn't be a jonin worth his salt if he didn't notice such things, so of course, he pretended not to. And was very obvious about it.

"Uh, Sakura-chan _…_?" He sounded painfully awkward.

Unfortunately, Sakura didn't think she could talk normally right then. Wisely, she chose not to reply, knowing all the while that she must be making Kakashi really uncomfortable, but unable to do anything about it. She couldn't stop crying.

"Sakura-chan," Kakashi tried again. "Come on. I know this nice little tea shop down the road. Let's go there, ne? Your awesome sensei has free coupons!"

Sakura nodded shakily and followed a few steps behind him, swiping at her eyes.

They walked in silence for a while, but Sakura was starting to calm down. Kakashi-sensei had put a hand on her shoulder and was holding his usual book in the other. Sakura knew that he must be judging her, but at least he wasn't being mean about it.

They made it to the tea shop.

"My eternal rival!" someone shouted. Sakura ignored the rude person until Kakashi actually replied.

"Yo!" Sakura looked up with surprise. Kakashi-sensei had lifted the hand from her shoulder, presumably to greet three ninja that were sitting on a table at the back.

The one who had shouted was by far the weirdest, with broad features, a bowl cut, eyebrows that resembled turnip leaves and a nose like a potato. The whole ensamble was completed by a bright green spandex outfit. Sakura looked away quickly; she didn't fancy losing her eyesight. Next to him sat a man who was smoking (Ino pig's sensei, her mind supplied) and a gorgeous woman with red eyes. Another man whom Sakura hadn't noticed before was leaning against the wall behind them. He had very creepy round eyes… It was strange. She could've sworn that no one had been there before.

No wonder Kakashi had so many quirks, with weirdos like these as colleagues.

The man in the green spandex rushed forward. "My eternal rival! Had I known you'd come here, I'd have prepared a challenge for us to compete in!"

"Ah, no need, Gai," said Kakashi. His hand went back to Sakura's head, ruffling it. "I'm actually here with Sakura-chan…"

Sakura could practically feel the weight of all the adults' gazes on her. Were they all jonin?! Kami.

Kakashi seemed largely unfazed. "Let's get some tea." He strolled toward the counter, ordering tea for the both of them.

"Hatake," said the old lady in charge. "I swear if you're planning to pay with those odious coupons again…"

"I suppose if you ask so politely, I can't refuse."

He began ruffling through his pockets, pulling out scrolls, papers, an old key chain with no keys, a mask, a senbon that was encrusted with blood…

The counter was getting progressively more cluttered as Kakashi continued to produce things from his pockets. Sakura was starting to feel keenly embarrassed on his behalf, when finally Kakashi retrieved two crinkled pieces of paper from within a scroll that seemed to be filled with random bills and receipts. With a triumphant swoop, he placed them in the only empty spot on the counter.

"Hatake?" the woman was growling.

"Yes?"

"You're a real piece of work, you know that?"

"I just like my tea better if it's free," Kakashi said with a smile. "It has a special kind of flavour." He turned toward her. "Let's get a table, Sakura-chan." Then, he somehow grabbed everything he'd left laying around on the counter between his arms and ambled over to a table. Sakura was left to carry the tea.

Out of the corner of her eye, Sakura could see that all those weird jonin from earlier were staring at them with thinly veiled interest. The guy in green was giving Kakashi a thumbs up and bobbing his head up and down.

Kakashi turned to glare at them and suddenly they were all very interested in their tea. "So," he said, giving Sakura an expectant look. "Fill me in?"

And without further fanfare, Sakura did. Her previous embarrassment about Kakashi's antics had distracted her enough to feel significantly better already, and his nonjudgmental attitude was an added bonus. To be fair, it was freaking annoying that he was sorting through the mess he'd made while she explained about the exam, but, in retrospect Sakura would've admitted that it made the whole process less tense.

Finally, she was done talking and looked at Kakashi expectantly. He looked very annoyed.

 _Oh, no! Not him too,_ thought Sakura mournfully.

But then Kakashi's annoyance seemed to evaporate momentarily and he smiled instead. "Ma, I'm so proud, Sakura-chan. You're going to make your sensei cry tears of joy."

At Sakura's stumped expression, he added:

"You put your teammates' interests before yours, Sakura-chan. Naruto's, specially, and I know you're not as fond of him as Sasuke."

Sakura blushed. That was the understatement of the year.

"But sensei… if what I did was right… why did we fail the test? It's not fair!"

Kakashi's face adopted the semi serious and annoyed quality it had had earlier. "Mmm… how to put this? Ibiki Morino and I don't see eye to eye about some things. Let's just say we have different priorities."

Sakura frowned. "But sensei…" she took a sip of her warm tea for courage. "Even if he has a different nindo, I should have seen underneath the underneath…" She sighed. "Some ninja I am."

Kakashi shook his head slightly, then propped his feet on the table and reopened his book. But he wasn't done talking, apparently: "Sakura-chan. If I were you, I would consider your failure to pass like a job well done. Morino Ibiki is the head of the torture division here… seeing underneath the underneath is a bit hard with him, wouldn't you agree? But even then, he shouldn't have used psychological warfare on you kids like that. Besides, logically, his test has no place in the chunin exams. Being chunin is about being able to work as a team. What he did was purposefully misleading and was encouraging you to put yourself above your teammates. You did good, Sakura-chan."

"Really?"

"Un. The purpose of the first nine questions was to gather information and pass it on to your teammates if they couldn't, which neither of you did. The only one who came close to being concerned about the team was you, Sakura-chan." Kakashi took a sip of his tea, though, unfortunately, his face was still covered by his book. "Really. If both your teammates performed this badly, that just means they weren't ready yet." He grinned. "Besides, I can't imagine Naruto cheating subtly to save his life."

Wait. Information gathering? Cheating?! Sakura's eyes opened like saucers as Kakashi's words caught up with her.

"Ch-cheating, sensei?!"

He blinked at Sakura lazily from behind his book. "How else would you complete the test? Didn't you mention the questions required advanced calculus?"

Sakura pouted. "So we were supposed to cheat?" Once again, she'd failed to think like a ninja. Stupid! Stupid! Stupid!

"Ma… at least that's what I would've done. The sharingan's handy like that."

"You're just lazy, sensei. I bet you could've solved every single question if you tried."

"I wouldn't presume so unless you told me what they are, Sakura-chan."

And so, Sakura told him about the questions. A few had been about tactics, but mostly they were advanced calculus (for trajectory prediction and such) and one was about disarming a civilian bomb.

"Huh… those chunin went all out," Kakashi opined when she was done explaining. "Most jonin wouldn't know this stuff."

"What about you?"

"Doubting your awesome sensei already, Sakura-chan?" He wiped and imaginary tear from his eye.

"So you can solve them?" That was good, Sakura could check the answers then.

"Maaa. You don't ask a lady her age, nor a jonin his IQ, Sakura-chan. Both will lie anyway." He winked. _Okaaaaaay?_ "Though I'd still inquire into the others' responses, just to be safe, ne?"

Or in other words, he would still cheat because he was lazy. But at any rate, Sakura had a request: "So can I run my answers by you? I mean, I know I already failed, but…" Actually, she just wanted to see whether Kakashi knew his shit.

Kakashi slurped his tea. "I suppose your display of teamwork should be properly appreciated."

"So…?"

"Shoot."

"Oh, well… um, okay." Naturally, Sakura had memorised everything about the test as usual, so discussing her answers with Kakashi took no effort on her part (she wrote it all out neatly on a spare napkin). They spent the next fourty or so minutes hashing it all out, and at one point Kakashi even put his book down to stare thoughtfully at the napkin.

It was nice. Sakura felt pretty darn smart right then, discussing complex problems with her sensei like that.

"Looks like you aced it," Kakashi said at last. "Neat."

Sakura couldn't help but preen and fist-pump the air. "Cha! No need to cheat for me!"

"Ah, well…" Kakashi scratched his head. "Not in this case, no. But the real test, I think, was to see how good you were at information gathering and communication, not… uh… The elementary equations of ballistics." He smiled uneasily. "How did you know this stuff again?"

Sakura blushed. Somehow, his comment made her think of Ino when she called Sakura a nerd. "Um. I just… like to rationalise stuff. And um… I like solving problems."

"So you studied this in your free time?"

Sakura nodded.

"Well… how should I put this…"

Sakura interrupted him: "Yes, I know. It's a waste of time and I should've spent the time training, not reading books." She sighed. "It's just… this is the only thing I'm good at. And not just good, but the best. It felt so nice, to, for once…"

"Sakura-chan, it's fine. I understand. You know, sometimes we have to practice to get good at something."

"I know…" Sakura sighed. Of all things that she could've naturally excelled at, test-taking really wouldn't have been her first pick. She recalled one of Amy's favourite insults to her when she was little. "I'm such a paper ninja."

"A paper ninja, huh?" Kakashi said. "That's not a bad thing. The only other person I know who could solve this sort of thing at your age used to be an ANBU captain, you know? The youngest we've had, I think."

"Huh?" That actually sounded really cool. "So he was a paper ninja too?" Sakura asked giddily.

"Um…" said Kakashi uncomfortably. "Not exactly." (Sakura's shoulders sagged.) " _But_. He was very good at projectile motion calculations. He applied the knowledge to his own kunai throwing skills, with amazing results." For some reason, he seemed uncomfortable while talking about the mysterious ANBU captain.

"What could he do?"

"Um, I think what surprised me the most was how he could neutralise various shuriken with a single one of his," said Kakashi. "The one he threw rebounded off the others, which he used sometimes to deflect, others to attack."

Sakura's mouth fell open. "That's possible?!"

"My thoughts exactly."

Even theoretically speaking, that would be extremely hard to calculate. Actually pulling it off…

Sakura felt her competitive side stir. Could she do it?

"I see you're all fired up," Kakashi commented.

"Um. I guess I'd like to try. At least on a theoretical level."

"Well, who am I to stop my favorite paper ninja?"

Despite herself, Sakura smiled. "Sensei! Calling someone a paper ninja is rude. You're so clueless!"

"Mou, Sakura-chan. Calling a seasoned jonin clueless is way worse. Keep it up and you'll hurt your poor Sensei's feelings."

"There's nothing poor about you," said Sakura without thinking. "Not with how stingy you are, anyways."

"Now that's a compliment!"

Sakura giggled. Huh. Sensei was funny. She hadn't thought Kakashi's general weirdness could be funny. Normally she was annoyed at him for being late. But after today, she thought he'd have to be really late for her to get mad.

"Sensei?" She took a final sip of her tea, which was now cold. "Thank you."

Kakashi sensei smiled, his one visible eye crinkling: it seemed more genuine than usual. "Ma, the tea was free, so don't worry about it."

"Wait! I wasn't thanking you about the tea!" But Kakashi-sensei had already puffed away.

Sakura facepalmed. "Scratch that. Totally clueless."

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How was it? If you’re looking for something darker, then feel free to skip to chapter seven or so. It’s not a clean cut thing, but by then things start getting real.


	2. The Crow

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sakura starts off on the path to greatness... by bird-watching... and dog-walking.

  
  


The day Sasuke decided he was annoyed at Sakura was the day Sakura’s teenage fantasies crumbled. Well, not in their entirety, of course, but enough so that his presence in a five-foot radius of her no longer made her into a gushing fangirl. No, instead, it made her want to burst into fat, ugly tears and go to Ino and cry into her shoulder… which only reminded her of the fact that she and her former best friend weren’t on speaking terms anymore unless it was to insult each other… and all because Sakura had told her they were now rivals over who could conquer Sasuke’s heart.

 _Fat lot of good it did me,_ she thought to herself with a scowl.

It was so unfair! There were loads of romance books where the male lead got mad at the heroine or vice versa, but even then, there was usually a passion between them. There was a spark.

Now, this might come as a surprise, but Haruno Sakura, aged thirteen, was _very_ well versed in the topic of romance and boyfriends (even if she’d never had one before), so she could say with certainty which type of romance was her favorite: the “Enemies to Friends to Lovers” trope. It was a secret she’d take to the grave but – gosh, it was just hot.

Long story short, if her life were a book and Sakura its heroine, Sasuke being mad at her would be the natural order of things before he inevitably realized that they were meant to be. The problem with that was that her teammate was now completely allergic to her, going to great lengths in order to avoid her. The phrase, ‘wouldn’t touch her with a ten foot pole’ came to mind. Never mind touch her, Sasuke refused to even look at her! He very deliberately did everything in his power not to, which spoke of a greater awareness of her than he’d ever seemed to have before. Some may argue that this was better than being passively ignored like he’d been doing until then, but it was not… because being actively ignored by Uchiha Sasuke, as Sakura had found out that morning, defaulted to being completely out of the loop – from _everything_... and it was horrible.

Trying to stay optimistic, she had searched for other things to do. Instead of training, like some may argue would be best, Sakura had taken to bird watching to pass the time. She had briefly considered bringing her knitting materials for the next training session, but she’d figured that might be pushing it a little too much. No, she had to at least _pretend_ she was being productive. And so, Sakura had changed her excuse to “practicing her awareness” while actually bird watching. She even knew the routines of some of the 'usuals' by now!

Her favorite out of all the birds that frequented training ground nineteen was the crow. Crows, Sakura had read, were very intelligent animals with some of the biggest brain/body ratios out there. They could solve puzzles, they cared about their family… hell, they could even recognize humans by their faces and communicate to their kin which ones to avoid based on previous experiences. In short: the feather-cleaning habits of crows were currently the least depressing part of her morning. Sakura sighed, probably for the one thousandth time.

Where was Kakashi-sensei, anyway? He was later than usual, and _that_ was saying something!

* * *

  
  


Kakashi Hatake was in fact ambling down the street. Just then, a certain someone decided to ruin his morning:

"Hey, Kakashi-sensei!"

A quick side glance revealed the speaker as that one academy sensei whom Naruto was so fond of. The one person who seemed to have realized that Kakashi wasn't even halfway decent at the whole teaching thing and had said as much to the hokage and all of his jonin colleagues… yep, that one.

Naturally, Kakashi pretended not to have heard him. Unfortunately, the man was almost as persistent as Naruto and very peskily continued to call out his name. Kakashi insistently continued to mind his own business. It was clear that neither of them were going to cave, and so, things came to a head when the teacher finally lost his patience and daringly inserted himself into Kakashi's personal space bubble.

"Kakashi-sensei!" the bothersome man tried again, falling into step with him.

Kakashi sighed and peered at him over his book. "Did you want something… ah… Daichi?"

The man's left eyebrow was twitching. "That's not even close! It's Iruka!" 'It's-Iruka' took a steadying breath. "And yes."

Kakashi inspected his nails. "Hm. Terribly sorry, but there's just this manicure appointment I have to get to, so–"

"Nice, then we can talk." Iruka said, smiling at him cheerfully.

Kakashi wondered whether it was too late to make a run for it. Just in case, he began searching for viable escape routes.

Iruka, once again undeterred by Kakashi's rudeness, bulldozed on. "So, I heard Naruto didn't pass the first stage of the exam… Hm, I wonder who had predicted exactly _that_ would happen."

There seemed to be no easy escape routes, Kakashi concluded forlornly – and puffing away might escalate things. He was pulled out of his contemplative pondering by Iruka's expectant stare.

"Hm… Sorry. Did you say something?"

Iruka sucked in a calming breath and gave Kakashi a smile that could cut diamonds. "I said: Naruto didn't pass the first stage of the exam… just like I told you he wouldn't, because he wasn't ready. Kakashi-sensei."

Oh, so he was good at the passive-aggressive politeness thing. Kakashi scratched his head. Well, unfortunately for the man, outside of missions, Kakashi almost always defaulted to plain rude. "Maa. Yes, consider it rubbed in. Hm. Though my caring sensei senses can't help but notice…" Kakashi paused to relish in the man's twitching eyebrows, "has it slipped your mind that I have three of your students on my team? Even if Naruto talks for the four of us. Yet you only seem to care about the one."

As expected, Iruka was flustered by Kakashi's frontal attack and scratched his neck in embarrassment. "Ah, of course. I care about all three of them – I do! But I guess I'm just… I'm more concerned about Naruto, is all." He suddenly seemed to get reacquainted with his backbone, brown eyes hardening. "After all, someone _has_ to be." He looked at Kakashi significantly.

"Mmm."

"So? Chunin exams," Iruka forged on. "What happened?"

"Morino Ibiki happened."

"I guess that's unlucky," the chunin conceded. "But. I still stand by what I said: they weren't ready!"

"Maa, Daiki. No need to be loud."

"It's Iruka!" snapped the teacher, rolling his eyes so hard that Kakashi feared for their continued well-being. "But I'm not here just to rub in that I was right."

"Color me surprised."

Iruka's eyebrow twitched tellingly. "Kakashi-sensei, you're worse than some of my six-year-olds."

"Hmm," said Kakashi with a smile. "I've been called hip and youthful on occasion."

Iruka sighed, clearly fed up. "Look, Kakashi-sensei, I'm not trying to pry, but shouldn't you be with your team right now? I mean, things must be tense after yesterday. Don't you think you should be doing some damage control?"

To Iruka's horror upon looking back at the infuriating man, he found that Kakashi was, yet again, immersed in his book.

"Kakashi-sensei!"

"Ma, ma. Don't worry, Denki. I have a plan."

"It's – oh, never mind. Whatever it is, that plan had better be good."

"Ah, of course. After all, I've been thinking it trough for the past five hours."

Iruka sighed, somewhat placated.

"May I ask what it is?" he said sheepishly. "Your plan, I mean."

Kakashi shrugged. "Maa… it's simple." He glanced at his imaginary watch. "My master plan… is being five hours late."

"What?"

"Give or take. Might as well make it seven, since it's the lucky number."

" _WHAT?!_ "

"Shhh, you're disturbing the pedestrians, Daichi."

_The pedestrians, my foot!_

Iruka was staring brokenly at Kakashi, his mouth opening and closing at irregular intervals. "But… why?" he asked faintly.

"Hm? It encourages team bonding."

"It encourages your genin to hate you!"

"Ah, ah, but aren’t those one and the same? Any common ground is an improvement."

"Kakashi-sensei, you can't be serious–! Hey, come back here, we're not done yet!"

  
  


  
  


* * *

  
  


  
  


Due to Kakashi’s kindness on the day of the disaster, as Sakura had dubbed it, she’d decided to be more understanding of her sensei’s… quirks. After waiting in stiff silence for seven hours, however, seven hours in which Naruto and Sasuke got "along" as they usually did while Sakura was left out pretending to find birds interesting… well. Could you blame a girl for flipping her lid?

And so, when Kakashi finally made an appearance, Sakura didn't even deign his presence with an angry shout. She was _that_ mad.

And yet there Kakashi was, crouched casually upon the bridge railing, looking flippant as ever in all his unfashionably late glory.

"Good morning, guys…"

"YOU'RE LATE!" Naruto shouted in outrage. And was Sakura the only one who noticed how different it sounded when it wasn't both of them saying it?

"Well?" Kakashi's voice brought her back to the present. "Don't you want to get started on some nice, fluffy D-ranks?"

"No way!" Naruto interjected. "You promised yesterday that you would train us!"

"I did?"

"Yes," Sasuke said emphatically. "Don't back down now, Kakashi."

"Ma…" the jonin glanced around, unenthusiastic. "And here I was looking forward to rescuing baby kittens from puddles."

Surprisingly enough, Kakashi for once kept his promise to train team seven, even if by "train" he understood "read a book while telling team 7 to mind their own business". But at any rate, he didn't force them on any D-ranks, so there was that.

Soon enough, Naruto and Sasuke were wrapped up in a furious spar, making a huge fuss that could probably be heard from the other end of the village. Meanwhile, Sakura stood awkwardly to the side and shuffled her manicured feet. She considered asking Kakashi to train her, but dismissed the thought almost immediately. She was well aware of the fact that, even if by some miracle he agreed to train with her, she'd just end up embarrassing herself in front of her teammates. No, she would not risk it. Instead, she pulled out her notepad and started working on improving the performance of some of the exams’ projectile motion calculations. At that, at least, she was good.

Around noon, team 7 took a break to eat, then went back to training. (Lunch had been even worse than training, because Sakura had lacked a notepad to hide behind. Fortunately, they had eaten quickly. Unfortunately, training after lunch was the same as before.)

At some point, she couldn't keep pretending to be busy anymore. She was done. She had solved the problem ages ago, then checked over everything to make sure she was right. Now she was stuck staring at birds again. Ugh.

Sakura sighed, chancing a glance at her teammates. They were too wrapped up in each other to pay her any attention.

"Hmmm." She startled. Up on the napping tree, as Sakura had dubbed it, Kakashi had apparently woken up and was now giving her a droll stare. "Sakura-chan, mind if I read that?”

“Um.” Sakura stood there flummoxed. “Sure.”

Then she proceeded to stare at her sensei, who stared back, equally awkward. Suddenly, he straightened and… nonchalantly strolled down the tree. Somehow, he made the action seem weirder than the usual kind of weird. Then, Kakashi picked up her pink notebook and flipped trough it, settling on the last page.

He spent a good five minutes reading trough everything, and, when he looked up, his eyes had quirked into a smile.

"This looks promising."

Sakura, who had sat down, looked at him with surprise. "Really?"

"Maa. When do I ever lie to you?"

 _Best not answer that_ , she thought. "Promising…" she asked hopefully, "as in, like the ANBU captain kind of promising?"

"Ah, well," Kakashi scratched his chin, "you're not quite there yet, Sakura-chan."

She frowned. "I meant theoretically."

"Mmm. But Sakura. There's no point to theory without practical application, ne?"

Sakura pouted. Didn't he realize how impossible his demands were?

"Sensei, to apply all of this, I'd need to be able to measure distances and angles with my bare eyes and in seconds flat. _Then_ calculate everything. And I'd need perfect aim."

"Maaaa… if you put it like that… well, I suppose it's true enough." He returned the book to her. “Time to work on your aim, ne?"

_Say what? Have you lost all your marbles, Sensei?_

_“_ _Even if my aim was better, I’d still need to be able to measure things on a single glance.”_

"And?” Kakashi said distractedly.

“What do you mean ‘and’?!”

The man scratched his head lazily. “Ma, it's not usual, Sakura-chan, but depending on their specialty, some ninja are capable of measuring distances with great accuracy. It's a hard skill to learn, but for a paper ninja, it's a good skill to have."

Sakura stopped short. "You mean… does that mean… you'll teach me?"

"'fraid not. That's something you have to figure out yourself," she gave him an incredulous look, "just like any ninja worth their salt." Sakura was still gaping at him ten seconds later, but Kakashi seemed largely unfazed, waving cheerily. "Ja, then I'm counting on you!" And then he poofed away.

Feeling completely floored, Sakura glared at the spot he'd disappeared from.

Typical. He was such an antisocial weirdo, making crazy demands and actually expecting her to just… go along with his insanity.

Somehow, that very insanity had cheered her up.

 _It's nice to be believed in_ _,_ Sakura wrote in her diary that night. _Even if that person_ _is_ _somewhat_ _insane._

  
  


* * *

  
  


The next day, Sakura arrived at their usual bridge bright and early – and with measuring tools. (Yes, she was now part of the insanity. So sue her.)

"Sakura-chan!" Naruto called out as soon as she was in sight. "You didn't tell us Kakashi-sensei left yesterday!"

Sakura gasped, surprised. She'd had so much on her mind that she'd forgotten and left her teammates there without warning them that Kakashi had left. "Sorry," she said a bit uncertainly. Somehow, her knee-jerk reaction of calling Naruto an idiot for not noticing didn't feel right anymore. "Uh, so how did your spar go?"

Naruto grinned. "I kicked some serious butt yesterday! Sakura-chan, you should've seen it!"

"Tch. In your dreams, usuratonkachi." Sasuke scowled.

"Haah? I totally did, Sasuke!"

"As if–"

"I did!"

And before she knew it, the two had started arguing loudly and shoving one another about. At some point, Naruto tripped and fell into the water, yelling at Sasuke and then blaming his predicament on Kakashi's habitual tardiness. It was nice. Sakura couldn't help but smile to herself. Sasuke may not have looked at her at all, but her conversation with Naruto had cheered her up. Without thinking much about it, she pulled out her ruler and began to measure the objects around her, then tried to estimate it in her mind without the ruler, and so on and so forth.

It was slow-going, tedious work.

Unsurprisingly, Sakura's mood had dampened significantly after a while of mind-numbing measuring exercises, but what have you. It was still slightly better than the previous day. Kakashi eventually arrived, (along with his bland as aver: "good morning, guys") and then team seven proceeded to rinse and repeat everything they'd done the day before.

The pattern changed after lunch. Sakura had been in the middle of sighing for the umpteenth time (while memorizing a cosine chart), when she happened to look up, and Kakashi was crouched inches from her. She managed to suppress a horrified screech, but only just.

"Sensei!" Sakura gasped, pressing a hand to her chest. "You startled me."

"What can I say? I'm stealthy like that." He stared at her for a moment, seemingly gouging something. "Ma, Sakura-chan, I was wondering… could you do me a favor?"

"A favor?" Sakura frowned. "What is it?"

"…take my dogs for a walk."

"Excuse me?"

"My dogs. You know, cute, squeezable balls of fur?"

Sakura had seen those cute balls of fur capture a raging psychopath and draw blood with those knives they called fangs. To be fair, she was more than a little intimidated.

"Ugh… can't they walk themselves?"

"Mou, Sakura-chan, you're entirely missing the point."

"What point?"

"You see, they have this bad habit of not returning when they go for walks."

"That reminds me of someone." She looked at him pointedly.

"Hm, does it really?"

"Yes. He has the nasty habit of making us wait, like, five hours every morning."

"Must be a real jackass, Sakura. Tell him I don't approve."

Sakura giggled. "I have a feeling he wouldn't be offended."

"That's typical jerk behavior for you." Kakashi nodded knowingly. "So… about my dogs…?"

"You want me to supervise them?" Sakura asked. They were probably, no, certainly more capable at the whole ninja business than her.

"Ah, yes. You see…" Kakashi clutched at his heart. "I can't trust anyone else with the job."

"Not even your shadow clone?"

"Especially not my shadow clone." Kakashi shuddered. "So, what do you say?"

Sakura pressed her lips together. Her knee-jerk reaction was to call bullshit. Those dogs could damn well walk themselves. But on the other hand, she'd been sitting around all day, feeling left out. Taking a relaxing walk might be just what she needed. Besides, Kakashi's dogs were ninken, ninja summons which had been trained rigorously no doubt, so what could go wrong?

"Alright, sensei. But only because you invited me to tea the other day."

"Ah, yes." Kakashi gave her a head-pat. Then, without fanfare, he summoned his ninken. "Make sure to bring them back here by seven!"

* * *

As it turned out, a lot could go wrong when Kakashi's ninken were involved. When Sakura returned to the training ground, it was nine, dark – and thank god for that because she was covered in grime and grass stains. Naruto and Sasuke had left, but Kakashi was still there, reading his book, for a change.

"Sakura, you're late."

Sakura would've probably called him out on his hypocrisy, but she didn't have the energy. Those damned dogs had ran her ragged just trying to keep up. It was horrible. She'd effectively ruined her dress, not to mention her muscles would be sore tomorrow for sure.

"Sakura-chan…?"

Tiredly, Sakura walked up to her stuff, which was where she'd left it two hours ago, grabbed her bag, and, completely ignoring Kakashi, left the training ground.

* * *

The next day, Sakura decided that walking Kakashi's dogs had been horrible enough that he owed her a favor. Kakashi insisted that he didn't.

"Ma, Sakura-chan. I sacrificed one of my precious coupons for you. That's at least worth three days of walking my dogs."

Sakura glanced around shiftily, making sure that Sasuke couldn't see what she was about to do. He was busy spitting fire at Naruto, so Sakura decided it was safe for her to let her inner real self rear its uncouth head. "That's… sensei, that's such _bullshit_!" Wow, cussing felt awesome.

Kakashi's lone eye widened comically for all of one second, before he replied with: "Sakura-chan, you can't tell me you don't find them cute at least?"

"Cute? My dress was cute! Those… those demons are the furthest thing from cute!"

"Don't be like that, now."

"Like what?" she raged loudly. "Angry because my dress was irreparably destroyed? If anyone owes anyone anything, it's you who owes me for property damage!"

"Uhh…" Kakashi's eyes were wide as saucers. "I'm sorry about your dress," he said lamely.

"Hmp." Sakura sniffed. "You owe me now, Sensei."

"Right…" said Kakashi.

"You do!"

Kakashi sighed. "Ma… you shouldn't put so much strain upon your poor sensei, Sakura-chan."

"My favorite. Dress. Is. _Ruined_."

Kakashi gulped, then smiled uneasily. "Alright, alright. Sensei owes you a favor. A small favor."

"Hmp. It's the least you could do after unleashing those beasts upon me."

Kakashi frowned. "Show some respect, Sakura-chan. They're too awesome to be 'just' beasts. A little creative nicknaming is the least you could do."

"Fine. Those demons you call dogs."

"Better, but not by much. I call them–"

"Sensei. My favor."

"Er. Right. Ah…" Kakashi paused. "What do I owe you?"

Sakura smirked, looking pointedly at his mask.

"No."

"You said a small favor–"

"Not happening."

Sakura sighed, already knowing that it was a lost cause. It had been worth a shot. "Um, in that case… you have to teach me how to measure things from afar – quickly."

"Uh…"

"I'm serious!"

"You know, Sakura-chan, I have the sharingan, so… I don't know any other methods."

Sakura frowned. That was so unfair. Why did her family have to be some unknown clan of civilians? Why couldn't _she_ have the sharingan?

"Ma, Sakura-chan, don't give me that look. I'll try to think of something."

Sakura blinked. Then, a huge smile crept unto her lips. "Really?"

"No promises, but I'll do my best."

"Sensei, thank you! Thank you so much!"

"…do you really mean that?" the man questioned. She nodded her head happily, but stopped dead in her tracks upon seeing the strange gleam in Kakashi's eye. "In that case," said he, "you can start thanking me by walking my dogs every morning."

Sakura's smile vanished. "No way!"

"Yes way."

"You can't make me do that!"

"Hmm… You're right," said Kakashi. "I can't make you. But if you want me to look into a way to help you out…" He raised his eyebrows significantly.

_That. Absolute. Menace._

Sakura glared at him for a few minutes, but it was pointless. She could tell she'd lost.

"I don't even have a choice, do I?" she groused. 

"Nope," chirped Kakashi. "You can start tomorrow morning."

It would be a long week, she could tell.

  
  


  
  


  
  


* * *

  
  


  
  


Days passed where Sakura would walk Kakashi’s dogs in the early mornings and nurse her bruises whilst staring at birds during training time. It would’ve been more boring if not for the growing suspicion in her gut in regard to those birds...

It had started with the odd crow that was there every morning. The more Sakura stared at it, the more she found that, for a bird, it sure was interested in what team seven was up to.

Every day, the crow would stare at them with keen, black eyes, which, Sakura felt, bellied an eerie intelligence. Like clockwork, it would show up every morning without fail… Not just at the training ground, but often she saw it at the red bridge whilst they waited for Kakashi too, which was more than a little suspicious. In fact, by the time Sakura made it to their usual meeting point, it was almost always there, perched on a rooftop nearby, watching. More suspicious yet was that it often disappeared for a while whenever Kakashi finally arrived.

Could it be…? Sakura felt excitement bubbling up in her gut. Could it be that the bird was a _spy_? And she, Sakura, was the only one who had ‘looked underneath the underneath’ and noticed? The prospect of unmasking some secret operation was very exciting. But it would be rather pointless if no one was there to take notice of her amazing achievement, so Sakura took it upon herself to inform Kakashi.

“Kakashi-sensei!” she resolutely called out during training. “I have something I need to tell you.”

Kakashi dropped down from his usual spot – aka napping tree – and looked at her expectantly. “Something you need to tell me? Hm, I’m all ears.” This was underlined by the book he was still peering into.

“I’d appreciate if you were all eyes too, sensei,” quipped Sakura. “This is important.” Automatically, she had lowered her voice conspiratorially, not sure if the crow could hear them from its perch on a tree on the other end of the training ground.

Noticing her tone, Kakashi finally glanced at her and wisely intoned: “a good ninja is always all eyes.”

Sakura’s eyebrow twitched. “You must be an amazing ninja then.” He was reading his damn book again!

“Ma, Sakura-chan. I’ll get a big head if you keep complimenting me like that.”

“Maybe you should get a hairbrush then!”

“My hair style choices are fine.”

“At defying gravity maybe,” Sakura glowered. “But that’s actually not the important thing I had to tell you.”

“Do enlighten me then.” Kakashi told her, passing a page of his book... and was he _blushing_ at it?

 _That absolute pervert…!_ Sakura thought with vexation. _I'll never trust him with anything again unless we're in a life or death situation!_

She did, however, proceed to tell him her suspicions in regard to the crow and even outlined a few theories that could possibly explain its odd behavior. (She left out the one in which Sasuke had a special pheromone that attracted birds, or her theory that his hair looked so much like a crow’s behind that the birds thought he was mating material… she was still embarrassed at her brain for having come up with that one.)

  
  


“Ah,” Kakashi remarked drolly when she was done. She waited with baited breath, but nothing else came forth. Had he paid no attention at all? _Cha, that absolute jerk!_

Sakura was so offended by this that the part of her that usually wouldn't never dream of disrespecting a teacher was thrown out of the window.

“That’s _all_?” she snapped angrily. “’Ah’? Don’t you care at all that a crow is stalking us? Sensei, I’m telling you, that bird is bad news! If psychopaths could be birds, then this one would be one!”

“That’s nice.”

Sakura flushed out of anger. “ _Sensei!”_

“Ma… Sakura-chan. I believe you.”

Wait, what?

“Really?” Sakura asked hopefully.

Her teacher nodded wisely. “Ma, ma, of course. Crows are omens of death, everybody knows that. Just this morning I saw one and was forced to make a detour.”

“Sensei, I’m being serious!”

“Hmm, so am I. These crows must be conspiring to make me late. Tough, isn’t it?”

“Sensei!” Sakura was practically screeching. “That’s _such_ bullshit!” She was so loud, that every single being within the training ground turned to stare at her.

“Heck yeah!” Naruto cheered. "I dunno what you're talkin' about but you rock, Sakura-chan!"

Kakashi chuckled at them. No one was taking her seriously!

 _That’s it_ , Sakura thought with a huff. _I’ve had enough._

She’d take matters into her own hands and find out what the deal with that crow was. Hopefully it would turn out that she was right and she'd end up unearthing some sort of spy plot within the village... That would teach them.

  
  


  
  


  
  


  
  


  
  


  
  


  
  



	3. Stalker-san

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Quick note: the beginning of MTE is very humorous in general. If you're not here for the lighthearted fluff, then just saying that things get serious in the chapters with more ominous titles.

That evening, Haruno Sakura prepared to set her plan into motion… thereby derailing the course of history for a second time.

“Listen up, demon spawns!” The many dogs scuttling about around her snapped to attention. And for once, the sausages which Sakura had previously bought were enough for them to _remain_ attentive. Pleased with her success, Sakura harrumphed importantly. “You can track, can't you? Well, whoever leads me to the crow which has been spying on team seven… gets these!” She waved the sausages around.

The leader of the gaggle of demons, Pakkun, or as Sakura called him, the gremlin, walked toward her. “Look, Floral-green–”

Sakura cut him off indignantly: “I told you to stop calling me that! I am _not_ _a_ hair conditioner, thank you very much.”

Another dog, Ūhei, piped up: “Don’t worry, Floral-green. Pakkun uses the floral green hair conditioner too! The nickname's high praise.”

“I still don’t want you to refer to me like I’m a hair product,” she deadpanned.

“Then what do we call you, Floral-green?” asked the gremlin.

“I don’t know," she snapped. "How about by my actual _name_?”

As usual, she was ignored.

“I say we call her Greeny and leave it at that!” some bright soul suggested (Sakura thought his name might be Bisuke).

Then she processed his suggestion and nodded. Hm. Actually, Greeny was kind of sweet… “Oh, I like it. Bisuke, did you suggest Greeny as a way to pay homage to my eye color?” Sakura had to admit, she was kind of flattered. Bisuke, she decided, was the cutest of Kakashi’s pack.

“Naw,” yipped Bisuke. “It’s like floral green, but shorter.”

 _That little shit…!_ Sakura took it back. He wasn’t cute. He was the dog equivalent of Ino-pig!

“So, Greeny.” Pakkun visibly took pleasure in her misery. “You want us to track a bird for ya. Hm, well ya better make it worth our while. Those flighty critters ain’t so easy.”

If Sakura had managed to bargain with Kakashi, the stingiest person she knew, she wasn’t about to let a frigging _mutt_ outsmart her. “Listen up, demon spawn,” she said decisively. “I have twenty-four sausages right here. You hear that? _Twenty freaking four._ That’s three for each of you. More than enough. _But_ if you’re not interested…”

It took her a while, but finally the dogs agreed to her price. And so, Sakura accompanied them to the tree where the crow had been alighted all day (whereupon she discovered with some shock that the ninken could all tree-walk like nobody’s business) and then they were off.

It was maybe forty minutes into their search that the dogs stopped running amok. Sakura, who could barely breathe after the frantic sprint they’d put her through, was finally able to catch her breath, and took a look around. She wasn’t sure where Kakashi’s ninken had lead her… it was a forest, that much was clear, but that wasn’t saying much, considering that Konoha was surrounded by woodland on all sides. More so: she’d been at more than a few of them (even at the Nara forest, which was usually off limits for non-clan members) but this particular forest, she thought, was neither of them.

“Hey, Greeny,” Pakkun’s voice brought her out of her reverie. “There’s a human up ahead. He smells strongly like a crow. I’m guessing this is what you wanted us to find?”

Sakura nodded. This was getting a little too real for comfort. With a sigh, she pulled out her alarm clock and delayed the ringing time to way past the ten minute mark. She had brought the device hoping that, if something happened to her during her excursion, the loud ringing that would eventually go off would act like an SOS signal and summon help. Five minutes of nonstop ringing at maximum power should do, she figured. But before getting started, Sakura still had a bargain to uphold, so without further ado, she retrieved the bag containing the promised sausages and handed it to Pakkun wordlessly.

“Pleasure doin’ business with ya, Greeny,” said the gremlin. “We’re off then.”

And without further ado, the dogs poofed away, leaving a large cloud of smoke in their stead. Once the smoke had cleared, Sakura discovered, much to her (terrified) surprise, that Bull – yes, the large, imposing bulldog – was still present. Alone. With her. In the middle of a strange forest.

“Uhh… I’m sorry Bull-san,” Sakura sputtered timidly. “I don’t have any more sausages.”

To her dismay, Bull just stared at her through his big, round eyes – and then, out of nowhere, gave her a sloppy kiss on the nose.

“Eep!” Sakura worked to contain a horrified screech, yet was largely unsuccessful. Great. Stealth operation status? Ruined. But more pressingly – Sakura’s face status? Covered in slobber. Unfortunately, she didn’t have anything to clean it up with…

It was in such a state – with grime-covered clothes and a face full of slobber, whilst being trailed by a dog almost larger than her – that Sakura emerged from the treeline. The forest had parted to reveal a beautiful, large lake, its waters tranquil and azure. In the very middle of the lake stood a person. They were standing on top of the water like it was a side thought, noted Sakura with amazement, lost in contemplation of something which Sakura could not see. They had a long, inky ponytail and a strange… dress? (Or was it a cloak?) which was black with an imprint of red clouds and long, flowing sleeves that ought to be a nightmare to eat soup in.

For a moment, Sakura stood there, staring at the stranger.

 _So this is team seven’s stalker, huh?_ she concluded.

As though having heard her thoughts, the stalker turned the slightest bit, onyx black eyes flitting to her briefly. Sakura startled. It was barely a glance… but she suddenly felt like a deer caught in headlights. Though, for a stalker, the stranger sure was uninterested in her presence. But what if it was all an act? The stranger could water-walk, hinting at being a shinobi…

Wait just a second. A shinobi?!

Well shit. Sakura should’ve seen that one coming. She really should’ve. In fact, someone should give her an award for stupidity or something. Thanks to it, this potentially dangerous shinobi now knew that Sakura was there. Oh god. How could she have been so stupid? This person ad stalked her for who knows how long and she’d thought to… what? Invite them for tea? Shit. Shit. Shit. Well. At least she had a murderous dog on her side… right? Bull was on her side, right?

Sakura sighed. Would a dog even be enough? She thought for a moment, recalling Bull’s active participation in the fight against Zabuza. The thought was enough to return some of her confidence. She had Kakashi’s strongest ally by her side: she’d be fine. More so if she managed to pretend like her being right here, right now, was a coincidence. But how? She thought frantically. _Quick, Sakura, what do genin_ _usually go to lakes for?_

She looked around for something to do. Wait. Suddenly struck by inspiration, Sakura decided to speak up.

Loudly, so that the stalker would hear, she said: “Look, Bull-san, this is the perfect place to practice some water-walking, don’t you think? Ahahah…” then she weakly made her way toward the lake. She could just “practice” for a few minutes and then leave, right? Afterwards, she could warn Kakashi about their stalker. Sakura mentally patted her shoulder. It was a sound plan.

Meanwhile, Bull merely stared at her and eagerly drooled on the grass. Sakura ignored such grossness in favor of taking note of her surroundings.

 _There!_ That was an ideal place to practice water-walking. She had spotted an old boardwalk wich went straight into the lake, stopping a few paces within the water. Attempting to look like she knew what she was doing, Sakura strode toward it, until she was standing on its wooden edge of the boardwalk, and then sat down upon it, staring into the blue water with trepidation.

Tree walking had taken a lot of concentration… would water-walking be even harder? Hesitantly, Sakura lowered her feet unto the water. It was cool, but not unpleasantly so. Sakura could barely imagine the idea of walking upon it, but she had to try. The stalker couldn’t suspect she was half-assing her training, as it’d be a surefire sign that something was up. So Sakura concentrated on blanketing chakra over her feet, which dangled over the water. After a few minutes had passed, she felt confident in her ability to adapt to the currents, so she carefully lowered the rest of her body down into the water, standing upon it precariously. A few minutes more and she felt a little more confident, a little more daring. And so, it came to be that Sakura slowly let go of the wooden plank she’d been clinging to. And then it hit her.

She’d done it. She was standing on the water – all on her own merit. The prospect of being able to walk on water was somehow so exciting, that Sakura sort of forgot about her side-quest.

“Kyaaa! This is awesome!” Carefully, she jumped, managing to land on the water again. “Yepee!” Sakura couldn’t help but laugh out loud in elation. She was doing it! She was _doing_ it!

It was in such a fashion that Sakura had been frolicking about at, maybe ten meters from the shore, when it happened. A piercing alarm rung suddenly, cutting through the silence like an enraged banshee.

The whole thing was so startling that Sakura momentarily lost control of her chakra and consequently plunged straight into the water with a shriek. The cold shock of it had her squeaking again, though she quickly closed her mouth once it started filling with water. By the time Sakura had managed to resurface, spitting water everywhere, and finally finished rubbing the wetness off her eyes, the ringing had stopped. Distantly, she realized that it had been her stupid alarm clock. Of course it had. But when Sakura opened her eyes, she was greeted by a sight that sent her straight into another fright.

There, crouching upon the water mere inches away, was the stalker – holding aloft the aforementioned alarm clock as though it were a strange object not to be trusted… the alarm clock, which, Sakura noticed with dismay, had a shuriken poking out of it.

Her reaction may have been slightly delayed (Sakura was blaming it on the shock) but no less potent:

“GAAAAAHHHHHH!” To say that her subsequent screech could be heard from Suna would be an understatement.

As she screeched, the stalker looked at Sakura, and Sakura looked at the stalker.

She cataloged delicate features, a long ponytail and even longer eyelashes – this she noted with some jealousy – and two stress marks that looked almost like tear tracks, one on either side of the face. Hm. In short, whoever this woman was, she didn’t look all that dangerous, Sakura concluded. Which is why she next said:

“Stalker-san, you destroyed my alarm clock.”

The stalker looked back at her frayed alarm clock, seeming to come to the conclusion that yes, it was irreparably damaged. Almost gingerly, the strange woman retrieved the shuriken embedded into the alarm clock and pocketed it. Everything about her movements was precise, like a surgeon brandishing a scalpel. To be fair, the careful attentions looked very weird in the face of her pink, bunny-themed alarm clock.

“What?” said Sakura, miffed. “Did you think my alarm clock was a bomb or something?”

Here Stalker-san looked slightly sheepish, so Sakura assumed that she’d hit the nail on the dot with her accusation. “You know,” said Sakura smartly, “Kakashi-sensei always tells us to look underneath the underneath, but I think you took it a bit too far, huh?”

At the mention of Kakashi, Stalker-san seemed to perk up. Sakura couldn’t say how she knew, there were no outward tells, but she still got that impression.

“You know Kaka-sensei?” she asked curiously.

Stalker-san looked at her blankly, though Sakura chose to interpret the non-expression as surprise. Like a deer caught in headlights becoming paralyzed. And suddenly it came to her:

“You’re Kaka-sensei’s fangirl, aren’t you?” she exclaimed triumphantly.

It all made sense to her: the stalking, the crows and most of all, Stalker-san’s reactions just now. Yep. Sakura had been a fangirl long enough to recognize the tells. Besides, Stalker-san looked a bit too old to have a crush on Sasuke-kun – thank god – so it was bound to be Kakashi.

Meanwhile, Stalker-san had leaned back slightly, as though she might be contagious, and was giving her an aghast expression. Or as aghast as a telephone post could look, anyway.

“Don’t worry, I won’t tell him,” said Sakura reassuringly. “Us fangirls have got to stick together, ne?” And without further ado, she channeled chakra into her hands and, propping herself up upon them, carefully stood back up upon the water.

Meanwhile, Stalker-san looked torn between relief and embarrassment at her declaration, but that was fine. Sakura had been a bit blindsided too when she’d first talked to Ino, but meeting a fellow fangirl had been one of the best things that had happened to her. Her train of thought got derailed when, suddenly, Sakura found a wad of bills being shoved under her nose.

Why was a stranger giving her money? Sakura and the stalker eyed each other. At first she didn’t understand, but then it came to her. Stalker-san was trying to pay for the broken alarm clock. That was… surprisingly thoughtful.

“Uhh… thanks,” said Sakura sincerely.

Stalker-san nodded.

Sakura counted the money. “Uhh… Stalker-san, I’m not sure if this is enough,” she ventured. “But I don’t want you to give me too much, either.” She looked at the ryo uncertainly. “Ne, how about you accompany me to the alarm clock store, Stalker-san?”

The answering uncertain body language said it all. Of course, it wasn’t uncertain as such, more like still. Shinobi weren’t easy to read by any means, but when one had a sensei who only had an eye to communicate (and reason to expect said sensei to pull a fast one any second) one got rather good at reading even the subtlest of tells. Besides which, Sakura had always been a quick study.

 _Cha! The term paper ninja is starting to sound cool and everything,_ she thought proudly. But maybe she was getting a little ahead of herself.

“Oh, come on, Stalker-san…!” Sakura tried again. She was just asking for them to go buy an alarm clock together, not requesting to attend to the stalker’s wedding. “Why are you making such a big deal out of this? It’d be unfair to at least one of us if I were to take the money.” Suddenly, inspiration struck. “Oh, I know. Come with me, and I’ll help you get a date with Kaka-sensei!”

Like flipping a switch, Stalker-san went back to looking mortified and even retreated a few steps.

 _Cha! How shy_ , thought inner Sakura. This was so precious!

“Or maybe not,” she amended quickly. “But I can tell you stuff about Kaka-sensei while we buy the alarm clock if you want. That way you won’t have to stalk him all the time!”

Stalker-san had gone back to giving Sakura an unreadable look, and it was around this time that Sakura realized that the strange woman hadn’t said a single word yet.

 _That’s weird. Is Stalker-san mute?_ It was a possibility, but then again, Sakura could remember with clarity how, as a small child, she’d barely spoken either, and it had been by choice. Kind of. And social anxiety.

“Ne, come on, Stalker-san,” Sakura encouraged. “The alarm clock shop is in the civilian district. The odds of meeting Kaka-sensei there are slim to none, so you don’t have to be self-conscious!”

Stalker-san still looked wary, but finally retrieved a straw hat from the bulky… cloak? Dress? Whatever – and donned it with a strange sort of flair. At any rate, the hat covered Stalker-san’s features, hiding the pretty eyelashes in a way that absolutely wouldn’t do if Stalker-san was to ever woo Kakashi. Sakura shook her head in dismay. Oh, well. She’d see what she could do.

Already, she felt sympathy for Stalker-san. More than anyone, she could sympathize with the plight of a devoted fangirl, especially when the object of one’s devotion was a jerk who read porn in public.

But, minding her manners, Sakura said none of this out loud. She did care about Kakashi-sensei, after all, so she wasn’t about to push away his one admirer. No. Instead, she told Stalker-san all about team seven’s bell test, making sure to highlight all the parts in which Kakashi had done something especially cool.

“So Naruto fell for Kakashi-sensei’s carefully laid out trap, but let’s be honest, the moron never stood a chance. I mean – Sasuke-kun managed to touch a bell, yes, but only because Sasuke-kun is… exceptional,” Sakura sighed dreamily, “but Kakashi-sensei is exceptional too, of course!” Exceptionally late, but _semantics_. “Anyway, I get the feeling that Kaka-sensei wanted revenge later on, because he used the head-hunter jutsu and trapped Sasuke-kun in a hole like it was nothing.”

At this, Stalker-san’s lip quirked minutely, which Sakura took to mean that her story was a raging success. She carried on excitedly:

“He gave me the scare of a lifetime, mind! But that’s not Sasuke-kun’s fault. I mean, I was just walking around, minding my own business, you know? And then, suddenly I see Sasuke-kun’s head, without his body, poking out of the earth. Aargh! Can you blame a girl for nearly having a heart attack?” Stalker-san gave her an understanding shake of the head, so Sakura continued, pleased with her audience. “I’ll say, that was a nasty surprise. Not good for one’s blood pressure…” Sakura was in the middle of her rant, when a voice distracted her.

“Sakura-chan! Over here!”

“Huh?” Sakura turned, her eyes landing on a street vendor who was friends with her parents.

“Shiemi-oba-san!” she cheered. Then, turning toward her company: “Ne, Stalker-san, let’s go greet Shiemi-oba-san!”

Without further prompting, Sakura ran off to talk with the woman (who had a history of gifting her treats for free) with Bull and Stalker-san in tow. Once again, Shiemi-oba-san didn’t disappoint and gifted Sakura a few of her favorite sweets (green tea mochi) after some small talk. She also gave some to Stalker-san, seeing as ‘your friend is staring my goodies down like a man starving, Sakura’.

“Sta – my friend would be a _woman_ starving, oba-san,” Sakura had felt obligated to correct, to which Stalker-san had twitched slightly. _The poor thing_ , thought Sakura. But truly, what did Stalker-san expect? With fashion choices like that, of course some people were bound to think she was a guy! Though Sakura had to admit, Stalker-san did look a bit androgynous.

At any rate, after bidding the vendor goodbye, Sakura and company had tracked down a bench upon which to eat the obtained sweets, seeing as it wasn’t very polite to go into a shop with food, even if it sold bunny-themed alarm clocks.

So for a while, Sakura was distracted by Bull, who was trying to snatch up a treat from her. (For some reason, he didn’t even attempt to steal from Stalker-san, much to Sakura’s increasing dismay.)

“Bull-san, I’m trying to eat here! Besides, sugar is bad for dogs!”

Bull’s replying tackle said exactly what he thought about that.

“Bull-san, no!” Sakura’s ninja reflexes were about the only thing that saved her mochi from a terrible fate, and that small success, she thought forlornly, had been largely due to Bull’s laziness. Because she’d seen him in action during the Wave mission, and that dog could _move_. When he wanted to, of course.

That was about the time Bull had decided that if he couldn’t obtain the direct source, he’d just get it second-hand. Literally. Without warning, the bulldog started licking off the sugar left off on Sakura’s hand, taking the entire thing into his massive maw in one swoop – effectively getting even more slobber over her. _Eep!_ Sakura tried to repress a shiver, not wanting to offend Bull, but judging by the amused look Stalker-san was shooting her, she could tell that she wasn’t being very successful. Stalker-san even had the gall to look even more amused at her fury.

“Stop that!” Even if ‘that’ was just looking at her. “This isn’t funny!” Sakura exclaimed hotly. “Stalker-san, how am I supposed to eat my mochi now? All this slobber can’t be sanitary.”

Stalker-san’s reply was in the form of the fastest hand-signs Sakura had seen since wave, and a resulting bubble of water that floated upon Stalker-san’s suddenly extended palm. Sakura stared at it with large eyes. “Woah… is that…?”

Stalker-san nodded, so Sakura held out her slobbery hand. With a graceful flick of the wrist, Stalker-san carefully tipped the bubble of water over Sakura’s slob-covered appendage. It was with shock that Sakura noticed the water’s temperature was extra hot, making the cleansing process easier.

“That’s perfect, thank you!” She hadn’t been able to use soap, but Iruka-sensei had remarked often enough that they should thank their lucky stars to find some clean water when out in the field, if that. So never mind the soap.

Once again, Stalker-san nodded, and proceeded to scratch Bull behind the ears, the barest hint of a fond smile replacing the previous blank expression. For someone who was barely more expressive than a telephone post, this was a major achievement. Sakura grinned. Stalker-san must really like animals! Perhaps seducing Kakashi wouldn’t be so hard if his dogs were seduced first.

But, just as she was thinking this, Sakura noticed with some dismay that Stalker-san hadn’t touched the sweets at all, and after petting Bull, had returned to staring at them very attentively, though without making any attempts to eat them. It was strange. Stalker-san was looking at the green tea mochi with a gaze appropriate only for dissecting tables.

Sakura frowned. “Are you on a diet, Stalker-san?” she inquired. “Technically, I am as well, but Kakashi-sensei’s ninken have been running me so ragged lately that I feel like I’m entitled to a cheat day. Besides,” she added, remembering Kakashi’s words. “Stuff tastes better when it’s free, don’t you think?”

When Stalker-san still hadn’t eaten anything and was still staring at the mochi as though in fear of food poisoning, Sakura spoke up: “You know, if you aren’t going to eat those…”

Her words seemed to have lit a fire under Stalker-san’s underside, for one second all the sweets were there, and the next second, not so much.

Sakura stared at the vacant spot in shock. She’d only seen one other person make food vanish so fast… and that was _Kakashi-sensei himself_. Okay, she could kind of see where the romance was coming from. In a creepy kind of way.

“Did you just… stash those mochi in your cloak?” Sakura asked surreptitiously. Yes, Stalker-san was chewing on one, but she was pretty sure that bulge in the weird-looking cloak hadn’t been there before. Next to her, Stalker-san had a look of utter bliss, apparently due to the influence of the mochi.

(Sakura would’ve been annoyed, except she couldn’t stay annoyed at such a peaceful expression.)

_Huh… Looks like Shiemi-oba-san just got a new client._

After that, things went smoothly. Sakura got a new alarm clock, or rather, Stalker-san did, Sakura said thank you, and they both went their separate ways. It was, to say the least, an eventful evening.

 _What a strange person…_ Sakura thought afterwards, as she was walking home. Bull had poofed away after Stalker-san left and she’d gotten him an extra sausage as a thank you for his moral support. Strangely, the dog’s previously intimidating presence had really put Sakura at ease by the end of the evening, even though Stalker-san hadn’t turned out to be a threat at all. Just a fangirl with a crush. Sakura couldn’t in good conscience tell Kakashi now. No, that would be breaking the fangirl code. _But_ , she thought with relish, _no one said I can’t play wingwoman instead._

  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So. Thoughts? I'm guessing that, whatever they are, you probably hadn't been expecting Itachi and Sakura's first meeting to go like THIS. Well, what can I say? I'm the number one, most unpredictable nin- oh, wait, that title is taken. Whoops, my bad.  
> My update schedule will probably be monthly, give or take a week. Chapter length will probably be similar. About the drawings, that depends whether I'm feeling inspired...  
> Also, I've basically created a tumblr account (thinknicht) so I could post my art on here, so feel free to talk to me. I barely know any fellow fangirls in real life (other than my best friend, who is my best friend for a reason), so meeting you guys via tumblr would be hella cool :P


	4. Miscommunication

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sakura learns some nifty skills, partakes in a kidnapping and gets embarrassed repeatedly. And not necessarily in that order...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So. Here we are. I had actually been meaning to only post once a month, since these chapters are pretty long and I'd get more comments that way, but then I was checking out my bookmarks page yesterday, mourning the lack of updates, especially with the confinement situation going on, and I thought to myself... screw it, I'm posting.  
> Hopefully this will entertain you as it does me ;)
> 
> PS. Sakura's age currently is 13, but Itachi assumes she's 12 due to Sasuke's age.

It had been precisely fifty-four months since Itachi had set foot on Konoha soil – fifty-four months into his newest mission, and fifty four-months without seeing his family. Or what was left of it, in any case.

It was precisely on the first day of the fifty-fifth month that Itachi had arrived in Konoha, and a week had passed since then.

He was remembering the letter that had been his last vestige of home, burnt into his retina like few things had ever been. He could recall its contents verbatim, even though the letter had been destroyed long ago.

_Itachi-kun,_

_I am sorry to ask yet even more of you – alas, my hands are tied in this matter. You are perfect for this mission. It’s my belief that, should anyone manage to see it through to its successful competition, that will be you._

_I know, I know. It may sound truly challenging, but I believe you will rise to the occasion. Spying on the Akatsuki will be no small feat. Due to this, once you have made contact, it will be too risky to continue our communication, so, with a heavy heart, I see myself forced to do this: for your own safety as well as Konoha’s, I forbid you from setting foot in Konoha until such a time where you find yourself free of suspicion. Three years, I gather, will be enough. However, just to be cautious, (and also due to other circumstances which I cannot get into right now) it will have to be five years until our next meeting._

_As I am sure you are aware, Konohagakure, Sunagakure, Takigakure and the land of tea are currently on friendly enough terms to host the chunin exams jointly. In five year’s time, it will be Konoha’s turn to host the event, opening our gates to foreigners._

_Enclosed in this sealing scroll is a fake ninja ID which you may use to enter the village. I will settle things before then to allow Tetsuya Akashi passage at this time._

_You may return to Konoha then, and only then – though I would advise great discretion. I will make arrangements to meet with you when the time comes, as well as contact a trustworthy ally who shall hopefully manage communications from there on. As of yet, there are too many variables to consider, so I cannot provide you with a time for our meeting. A place, on the other hand… is doable. I will make sure that my ANBU steer clear from the lake by your clan’s private training grounds during the enclosed timeframe._

_Wishing you the best of luck,_

_S.H._

_Sandaime Hokage_

_I, Sarutobi Hiruzen, hereby absolve Utachi Uchiha of any and all formal duties as a shinobi of Konohagakure no Sato except for the special mission enclosed in the attached scroll, until the threat at hand be neutralized, his cover revealed, or such a time may come where I invalidate the above mentioned conditions._

Itachi sighed and glanced at the sun. It was time. He could barely believe that the moment had finally come. He could not say when nor how, but one thing was clear: soon, he would be taken to meet with the hokage. It was around then that a crow came sailing through the air, straight toward him. He extended an arm and the crow alighted upon it.

“Itachi-dono,” the bird rasped. “A human approaches.”

“ANBU?” asked Itachi.

“It appears to be your brother’s teammate,” cawed the crow. “I can sense no deception! But things so pink and giggly are often deceptive.”

“I see,” said Itachi. “So it is not the jinchuriki.”

There was a pause, where Itachi strained to sense the incomer’s chakra, at which he was being as of yet unsuccessful.

“Itachi-dono,” the crow piped up suddenly. “There was something else. The girl was not alone – she is accompanied by _fourleggeds_! Yes, very many of them.”

“There are many four-legged creatures, Karasu.”

“Caw, but why bother to make a distinction? However, I believe humans call this particular type of fourleg a ‘dog’.”

Hm. This meant that the arrival was either Inuzuka or… “Have they a henohenomoheji drawn upon their gear?” asked Itachi.

The crow clacked its beak. “Caw! They do, Itachi-dono.”

“Then they are no mere dogs, Karasu, but Hatake Kakashi’s ninken,” said Itachi with a pleased expression. His memories of the ninken were fond. Lost in thought, he stood from his perch on a tree and wandered down, until he was standing upon a wooden boardwalk that was swallowed by a lake – _the_ lake where he’d spent hours upon hours practicing katon jutsu, a long time ago.

“I wonder,” mused Itachi. “Is this a sign?”

He had hoped that, were the hokage to send anyone to retrieve him, it would be Kakashi. Logically, thought Itachi, Kakashi made the most sense. But he wasn’t entirely sure whether such logic was sound, seeing as it was clouded by his emotions. Though why shouldn’t it be? Perhaps, Kakashi was coming and had merely altered his appearance. After all, the village was full of strangers who would notice every little thing, who might be roaming around these very forests. And these strangers would surely startle at the sight of Hatake Kakashi, the famed copy nin, careening through the underbrush in the company of his most ferocious allies. Yet a little girl walking some dogs as a side job wouldn’t be nearly as exciting.

Keeping this in mind, Itachi decided to wait until he could further sense the arrival’s chakra before deciding whether or not to show himself.

Unfortunately, proximity didn’t bring enlightenment. The incoming chakra signature was weak, reminding Itachi vaguely of a large squirrel, or perhaps a wild boar if he were feeling generous. It was hard to say whether this was a deliberate action on Kakashi’s part so as to go unnoticed, or if this truly was a twelve-year-old with very, very, _very_ small chakra reserves. Then, he could suddenly feel all minus one of the ninken being dispelled, and hear a girlish squeal and rustling.

Again, this could be a precautionary tactic to indicate to him that this was not meant to be an ambush, or simply a twelve-year old with no discretion.

And then, without further warning, appeared… what Karasu had aptly described as a “pink”, “giggly”… girl. 

She was covered in slobber and twigs, the former of which was explained by the ninken flanking her. Itachi immediately recognized him as Bull, Kakashi’s largest summon, though he knew immediately that the same did not apply to the girl – she was not Kakashi in disguise. One glimpse had been enough to completely disabuse him of that notion. 

With a sigh, Itachi activated his sharingan and turned around just the slightest bit. The girl’s green eyes, which had been shamelessly boring into him, glazed over upon meeting his. 

Check. Genjutsu successfully cast. Without further preamble, Itachi got to work and carefully planted a suggestion in the girl’s brain to go practice water walking and forget all about him. Then, he repeated the same process with Bull, though it took him significantly more effort to convince the dog that Itachi was not in fact, Uchiha Itachi, but a friend, and that Bull should not, under any circumstances, notify Hatake Kakashi of his presence. Just as Itachi had finished castingthe genjutsu, a shrill sound broke through the clearing – and through Itachi’s concentration.

Throwing a shuriken at the possibly volatile object was his first reaction, his second being to sprint over to the source and discern what had caused the disturbance.

Was it a bomb? An explosion tag? An elaborate sound attack?

No. Even more alien – it was a civilian devise of some sort.

His cousin Shisui had once explained that, apparently, not everyone stood up at the crack of dawn, hence the presence of – alarm clocks.

…remarkable.

Itachi wasn’t entirely sure what twelve-year-olds did with their time, but carrying alarm clocks into lakes seemed like just the thing Shisui would’ve enjoyed, so Itachi decided that it was normal. He was pondering this when another loud noise made him jump.

“GAAAAAHHHH”

Ah, the screams of a twelve-year-old.

Itachi wasn’t sure how one should go about talking to twelve-year-old girls, so he didn’t even begin to try. He watched the flailing girl. Was she drowning? He had just seen her water-walking. Why wasn’t she water-walking?

The girl eventually seemed to come to the same conclusion and began to float. Though she still wasn’t water walking. Ah, no. She was ‘swimming’. It had been a while since Itachi had had to swim for anything, so the action took him by surprise. However, Sasuke no longer seemed to be in danger of losing a teammate to their family lake, so Itachi decided that he could just leave her there. Besides for which, he had put the girl under a genjutsu, so she’d likely overlook him–

“Stalker-san, you destroyed my alarm clock.”

Never mind. 

The girl was shooting him a reproachful look, her tone matter-of-fact. Itachi’s mouth opened. But nothing came to mind, so he shut it again.

She had broken his genjutsu? Given, it might have had something to do with the sudden exogenous assault on two of her senses – her hearing (through the alarm clock) and her touch (via the cold of the water); but even so, Itachi hadn’t been expecting her to break free. Especially as the girl didn’t even seem to have noticed the genjutsu in the first place.

…perhaps Sasuke had taught her how to break some illusions?

Itachi mustered the girl a little more closely. The first thing he noticed were once again the eyes – green. Her hair was a strange color and was shaped like a mushroom, though he suspected it might look different when dry. She was very pale, (as was he, but not to that extreme), so he concluded that the girl cared more about her complexion than shinobi work. This was further proven by the very impractical-looking dress she was currently floating – ah, swimming – in.

“What?” the girl said suddenly. “Did you think my alarm clock was a bomb or something?”

Itachi blinked at her, confused. What else was he supposed to think? Really. He wanted to scold her for foolishly bringing such a strange civilian contraption to a lake, but then he remembered that Shisui would’ve given her a thumbs up instead and was confused on how to proceed.

“You know,” continued the girl smartly, clearly in no need of his input. “Kakashi-sensei always tells us to look underneath the underneath, but I think you took it a bit too far, huh?”

Underneath the underneath? Itachi had always suspected Kakashi was secretly a fan of poetry. It was certainly a fanciful way to say “be alert”, but perhaps that was the point. Kakashi’s flair for the occasional dramatics made his words easy to remember. 

“You know Kaka-sensei?” the girl asked curiously.

Itachi stilled. How had she guessed that? Was this girl secretly an ANBU agent, trained to read into all of his micro-expressions?

The girl’s next words disproved his theory:

“You’re Kaka-sensei’s fangirl, aren’t you?” 

…fangirl?

What on earth was a fangirl? Feeling increasingly lost, Itachi pondered on the matter. The triumphant gleam in the girl’s verdant eyes was slightly off-putting. Now, Itachi had often been called a genius on occasion, so, by putting his considerable intellect to the task, he concluded that fan + girl = a fan who is also a girl.

Hm. He wasn’t certain about the fan part, but last he checked, he wasn’t a girl. 

Perhaps he’d deduced the definition of fangirl incorrectly. Another possibility was that a fangirl referred to a girl with a fan. A fan was the Uchiha’s clan logo, but Itachi wasn’t wearing anything with a fan on it. And he still wasn’t a girl. 

But why would she reference a fan unless she was talking about the Uchiha? This girl… had she discovered his identity? But how could she know…? 

Perhaps “fangirl” was a code. Perhaps the girl truly was an ANBU in disguise, here to escort Itachi to his clandestine appointment with the sandaime. Perhaps this fangirl business was her way of instructing him to follow along. But why the secrecy? Was the area compromised? Itachi glanced around worridly, but he couldn’t sense anyone other than Bull, who was still slightly catatonic from his genjutsu. 

Hm.

The girl who might or mightn’t be an ANBU seemed to have taken Itachi’s silence as an admission, assuring him that she wouldn’t tell Kakashi his secret, seeing as “fangirls stick together”. Itachi was pleased that she didn’t intent to tell Kakashi his secret, whatever his secret was, but still felt lost on the fangirl concept. 

If this was some sort of code, he needed to ask sandaime-sama for a cheat-sheet.

In any case, Itachi decided to give the ANBU/twelve-year-old a scroll that only the hokage would be able to open containing a time and coordinates for them to meet. He had already prepared it in advance, so all that was left to do was disguise it. If the girl didn’t understand the meaning, he would just destroy it when she wasn’t looking. So he cast a genjutsu on it to look like a wad of ryo and handed it to the girl, who started.

“Uhh… thanks.” She smiled at him, as though Itachi had just done something especially charitable.

Itachi was caught off guard. How long had it been since someone had smiled at him?

Feeling slightly awkward at their one way-communication (Shisui had insisted that ‘hn’ was not enough to establish a rapport with someone), Itachi decided to go a step further and give her nod. His father and superiors usually seemed to like it when he nodded.

The action seemed to be completely lost on the girl, however, who didn’t nod back, and instead began to count the bills.

Once again, Itachi was thrown for a loop. What was she doing? She had to hand the scroll to the hokage, not read it herself. He opened his mouth to chastise her, but then remembered that this could potentially be a twelve-year-old. Potentially.

Just then, the girl stopped counting, pinned him with a dismayed look and said: “Stalker-san, I’m not sure if this is enough.” Itachi paused. Had she seen the message? Did she mean that a time and coordinates were not enough? Was she expecting a full mission report? “But” the girl continued, “I don’t want you to give me too much, either.” Pardon? Itachi felt like they were having two different conversations. The girl, unfortunately, carried on undeterred: “ne, how about you accompany me to the alarm clock store, Stalker-san?”

Itachi stared. He could feel a headache coming on. Was this a twelve-year-old or not? If this was his ANBU escort, the invitation to the “alarm clock” store was likely code.

Alarm + clock could mean a lot of things, such as that he had returned to the village at an inopportune time and the hokage was alarmed, but Itachi wasn’t certain.

On the other hand, what kind of ANBU got caught in a genjutsu and fell into a lake? Was this a new initiate? Or a clueless twelve-year-old? He didn’t remember being this clumsy even as a six year old, never mind at twelve, when he’d been recruited into ANBU.

Hm.

If he went with the girl, it could potentially be a waste of time.

Nevertheless, on the off chance that this was an official order, Itachi had no choice but to go along, and if necessary, buy a twelve-year-old girl an “alarm clock”.

…worse things had happened.

So, mind made up, Itachi was about to tell the girl that he’d go with her, but she beat him to the punch. “Oh, come on, Stalker-san…! Why are you making such a big deal out of this? It’d be unfair to at least one of us if I were to take the money.”

Itachi stared at her, deciding that he wasn’t even going to bother trying to discern the meaning of that. Suddenly, the girl perked up, as though struck by inspiration. “Oh, I know. Come with me, and I’ll help you get a date with Kaka-sensei!”

Itachi stopped short. Pardon? Did she just say…? A date? His headache reappeared with a vengeance. Was date code for including Kakashi in the mission or… Itachi really didn’t want to consider the possibility that it wasn’t.

“Or maybe not,” the girl amended quickly, clearly sensing his disconcert. “But I can tell you stuff about Kaka-sensei while we buy the alarm clock if you want. That way you won’t have to stalk him all the time!”

Itachi would’ve preferred if the girl told him things about Sasuke, but he didn’t dare ask in case she wasn’t an ANBU agent. Perhaps what she would next tell him was a way of debriefing him? It wasn’t unheard of of undercover ninja to receive their next assignments in code… did this mean his next assignment was with Kakashi? Was this what she meant by “date”? He really, really hoped that he was the case. Otherwise…

“Ne, come on, Stalker-san,” the girl encouraged. “The alarm clock shop is in the civilian district. The odds of meeting Kaka-sensei there are slim to none, so you don’t have to be self-conscious!”

Itachi mustered the girl warily. If this was code, it was beyond him. He really did need a cheat sheet. Thinking this, he retrieved his straw hat, designed to properly conceal his features, and nodded at the girl to lead the way.

Two hours later saw him returning to his temporary lodgings (an inn that had been set up for foreigners) with lighter pockets and a thank you for buying the girl a new alarm clock.

After spending the evening walking with “Sakura” through Konoha, Itachi had come to the conclusion that this truly was Sasuke’s twelve-year-old teammate and not an ANBU in disguise. He was rather mortified that he’d thought otherwise. Worse yet, the girl seemed to labor under the misconception that he was a woman, and to add insult to injury, also appeared convinced that he was head over heels in love with her sensei. He especially did not appreciate the pitying looks she’d shot him as she told others that he was, in fact, a woman.

Itachi sighed to himself as he retrieved the mochi he’d stashed in his cloak. After such a trying evening, he deserved a little respite. He could almost picture his cousin’s reaction if he ever found out Sasuke’s teammate had tried to set him up with Hatake Kakashi. No doubt Shisui would’ve loved the girl. Possibly, he’d have participated in her little scheme.

In another part of the village, Kakashi had just decided to investigate ‘the matter of the crow’ – the first step being to summon his ninken. Much to Kakashi’s surprise, he was met with the rather unusual sight of dozing dogs. All of them. At the same time. With suspiciously bloated stomachs… or maybe that was just his imagination.

Kakashi narrowed his eyes speculatively.

“Did you guys have a feast today?”

“Ah, you could say that, Boss,” replied Pakkun noncomitally.

“That’s interesting,” Kakashi noted. “You see, I don’t recall buying you any treats.”

Bisuke yapped. “You’re not our only source of income, Boss!”

“Ah, prey tell. What other sources of income do you have?”

Pakkun barked out a laugh. “That’s for us to know, boss–”

“And for me to find out?” Kakashi tagged on hopefully.

“Come on, Boss,” Pakkun complained. “A gentleman doesn’t kiss and tell.”

Kakashi decided to cut to the chase: “this hasn’t anything to do with Sakura walking you today, has it?”

“Oh, Greeny?” said Akino casually. “She’s a bit slow.”

“Always complaining,” added Uhei.

“Calling us demon spawns…” said Bull, proudly.

“And fattening you up,” Kakashi concluded.

“Hey!”

“What? It’s true,” Kakashi protested. “You know, you were supposed to get her into shape, not the other way around.”

“Alright, fine. The feast today was a bribe from her…” Pakkun admitted. “But c’mon, Boss. She offered sausages! Can’t blame a dog for chasing his dream meal.”

Kakashi sighed. “Maa… I’ll let it go. Just this once. But I didn’t call you out here for that. I actually have a job for you guys.”

Pakkun perked up. “Hm? Spill.”

“You see, there’s this crow which I’m told has been exhibiting suspicious behavior. Coincidentally, the S-class missing nin Uchiha Itachi has been observed to posses a summoning contract with crows.”

“In other words, you’re worried that this crow’s the Uchiha’s, yes?”

“That’s right,” said Kakashi. “It might be nothing – I hadn’t noticed it myself, but… better safe than sorry.”

“Well spoken, Boss!” cheered Bisuke.

“Yeah,” said Pakkun, “except we’ve already checked.”

Kakashi blinked. “You have?”

“Yeah. Looks like Greeny was worried about the same thing, ‘cause that’s what the bribe was for.”

“And?”

“We tracked the bird as she asked.”

“Why didn’t you call me?” Kakashi’s eye narrowed. “And did you accompany her the whole time?”

“Bull took care of it,” Pakkun said dismissively. “Seriously, Boss. Nothing happened.”

Kakashi looked at Bull.

“’s true, Boss,” Bull confirmed. “Was a false alarm. Just some foreigner – definitely not Uchiha Itachi.”

“Are you sure?” Kakashi pressed. “His smell could’ve easily changed. In fact, last you saw him, he was thirteen. Now, he would be eighteen. His smell has definitely changed.”

“Boss, I had a visual. It wasn’t…” Bull trailed off. “It was a friend.”

Kakashi still looked high-strung.

“Take a chill-pill, Boss,” Bisuke interjected. “Or you’ll get gray hairs!”

“Yeah,” Pakkun agreed, poking Kakashi with his snout. “We didn’t know why your kid wanted us to track that bird. If we’d suspected the Uchiha’s involvement, we would’ve called you.”

“That’s nice.”

“Boss, seriously. It was a false alarm.”

Kakashi sighed. “I’m still checking on Sakura, just in case.” He glanced at Bull. “Any idea where she is?”

“Market area. She was going home.”

Kakashi nodded, then turned. It was indeed en route home that he found Sakura. Safe and sound, though with damp hair. Had she taken a bath?

“Sensei?” Apparently, Sakura had also spotted him. To be fair, Kakashi hadn’t been concealing his presence, but he hadn’t made it known either. Not bad.

“Yo!” He plopped down next to her. “Sakura-chan, what a surprise.”

“You don’t look very surprised,” said Sakura, her lips quirking into a smile. She was in a good mood, better than Kakashi had seen her all week.

“Ah, but a ninja never shows his surprise,” lectured Kakashi. Remembering what he had come for, he coughed and asked: “So, Sakura-chan. Do we have a spy in the village – or just a crow infestation?”

Sakura paused. Then, in a measured voice, she said: “There’s nothing to worry about, sensei! You were right. I did feed that crow.”

Kakashi frowned. “Then why did you insist on tracking it?”

”You know about that?”

Kakashi’s eyes quirked into a smile. “Maa, I know everything, Sakura-chan. Also, please refrain from bribing my dogs.”

”I was trying to find out if the crow has an owner. And it’s not my fault your demon spawns find sausages so enticing!”

Then Sakura grinned, smiling at him like she knew something he didn’t.

”Uh… is there something on my face?”

  
  


Perhaps there was, as Sakura didn’t seem to be listening. Instead, she was giving him a speculative once-over, which very assuredly did not make Kakashi uncomfortable at all.

“Ne, sensei?” She giggled. “Do you have a girlfriend?”

Kakashi… hoped to god that she hadn’t suddenly developed a crush on him. “No.” If it came out a little brusque, well, he was entitled.

“What about fangirls?”

“Fangirls?”

Sakura was giggling like she knew something he didn’t. Once again, Kakashi told himself that he was not scared of a thirteen-year-old

“Maa… I have many lady friends,” he settled on.

“Fictional characters don’t count, sensei.”

“Mou.”

“I bet you haven’t had a girlfriend in ages,” she declared with assurance. “So you must really want one, huh?”

How sad was it that even the resident thirteen-year-old thought you had no love-life? Kakashi sighed. A change of topic would be great right about now. “Ah, Sakura-chan, where are you going with this?”

“When was the last time you cut your hair, Sensei?” Sakura interrupted, studying him critically. She wasn’t so far gone to expect him to get all dressed up for Stalker-san, but a haircut might be doable.

Kakashi, meanwhile, was trying and failing to understand his student. Women… They were strange creatures. “Just this morning.”

“I’m not buying that.”

“But it’s true. You see, Sakura-chan, I do shave, even if I wear a mask, so–”

“Shaving doesn’t count as a haircut!” Sakura yelled. “And just so you know, I’m assuming your answer means that you don’t even remember!”

Now she was getting angry, Kakashi noted. He truly did not understand his student. What did she care whether he cut his hair? The porn or the tardiness, he could understand. But _his hair_?

Meanwhile, Sakura had come to a conclusion: Kakashi needed a makeover. For the sake of all his fangirls out there, especially one in particular, she could not allow him to go on like this. Poor Stalker-san, pining after a porn-reading, chronically late pervert, who didn’t even visit the hair salon. And Stalker-san had such well-groomed hair, too. It was a travesty. There could be no chemistry between them unless Sakura fixed Kakashi’s hair situation _ahora_.

As Kakashi’s sole female influence (as far as she could tell), she couldn’t in good conscience let the man walk around with hair like that. But of course, Kakashi wouldn’t see the light so easily… So Sakura would have to change tactics… appeal to his sense of honor, so to speak. For example, if she gave him a hairbrush as a present, he wouldn’t dare pawn it off to his dog, now would he?

So she asked: “When’s your birthday, Sensei?”

Kakashi blinked. “I don’t see how this is relevant?”

Sakura stared at him in shock. “How could you say that, Kaka-sensei! It’s a celebration to honor the day you were born!”

“People celebrate that? They say it traumatizes newborns.”

Kakashi-sensei didn’t celebrate his birthday. Hashirama’s mullet. That was just… sad. And needed to be rectified immediately. “Not under my watch!” Sakura yelled. “That changes now! What’s the date?”

“Ah, sorry, but I best not tell you,” Kakashi explained sensibly. “You see, Sakura-chan, an enemy nation could use it against you.”

Sakura stared him down. “Sen. _Sei_.”

Kakashi sighed. “Maa… no need to glare like that. It’s the fifteenth September.”

_Aye, aye. Music to my ears._

“Sweet!” Sakura cheered. “That’s right after the chunin exams end, right? Along with a chapter in your life.”

Or haircut, actually. Sakura eyed the man’s scalp speculatively.

“Uh… Sakura?” Kakashi ventured after a moment. “Listen – don’t throw me a surprise party. Your Sensei’s begging you.” He sounded slightly desperate. But then he seemed to further ponder the matter and added: “Maa, but if you must get me a cake, make it an eggplant cake.”

“Eggplant cakes don’t exist, sensei,” Sakura deadpanned. “But that’s not important right now. What’s important is that you need a makeover.”

“My birthday cake isn’t important?” exclaimed Kakashi.

“Of course it’s important. After all, it marks the day I’ll get you a hairbrush,” Sakura declared. Once Kakashi stopped looking like a hobo, perhaps he could ditch those pervy books of his in favor of an actual girlfriend. Like… wink, wink – Stalker-san.

Hook, line and sinker.

Sakura truly was a talented matchmaker, wasn’t she?

  
  


She was so thoughtful, in fact, that upon team seven’s next meeting, Sakura brought some treats for Stalker-san’s crow. Sakura had already told Kakashi-sensei that she was feeding it, so she might as well do it. She had not expected Sasuke, of all people, to object.

“Sakura, don’t.” He didn’t say anything else.

Sakura stared at him, then at the crow. The first time he addressed her, and it was about not feeding a crow? Say what? Sakura frowned. What, then, was she supposed to do with all of this bird-food?

“Why not, Sasuke-kun?”

Sasuke frowned. “Tch. Do whatever you want.” With these heartwarming words, he turned around and started furiously polishing his kunai.

Naruto, meanwhile, seemed interested in the crow now that Sasuke had addressed its presence.

“Ne, ne, Sakura-chan? What’s up with that bird?”

“Nothing, Naruto,” said Sakura with annoyance. “Can’t you tell?”

“But it’s… Sakura-chan, it’s ugly!”

Sakura twitched. She wasn’t sure whether Stalker-san could hear directly through the crow or if it just reported things, but she wasn’t about to let Naruto’s big mouth get in the way of Kakashi-sensei’s romantic affairs.

“He’s not ugly, Naruto,” Sakura said firmly, giving the crow a pat.

“But… Sakura-chan,” Naruto mustered the bird critically. “That scar on it’s beak looks…”

“–a lot better than your jumpsuit,” Sakura finished peevishly.

“EXCUSE ME?”

“What’s going on here, kids?” Kakashi interrupted drolly, having just arrived to the training ground.

“Sakura-chan’s feeding this creepy bird for no reason!”

“Naruto was criticizing his appearance!”

“Hah?” Naruto crossed his arms. “I wouldn’t if you weren’t getting so close to it! It could be dangerous, Sakura-chan!”

“I don’t need you to protect me from a crow, Naruto!” Sakura raged.

“Just stay away from it!”

“No, _you_ stay away from it!”

Kakashi sighed. “Ah, I see.” He passed a page of his book. “Sorry, Sakura-chan, but I’ll have to agree with Naruto.”

“Yeah!” the blonde cheered. “I knew I could cont on you, Kaka-sensei!”

Kakashi nodded sagely. “The bird’s appearance just doesn’t meet my standards.”

Sakura glared at him. “If your hair is anything to go by, then those standards are skewed!”

“Ma, ma, Sakura-chan. I was talking about my lovely ninken, of course. Alas, Naruto, vanity isn’t everything.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“That you shouldn’t judge a book by its cover,” said Kakashi wisely.

“Hah?” Naruto scrunched up his nose. “What does your pervy book have to do with anything?”

Sakura sniffed. “Sensei, if you think people aren’t totally judging you for it, you’ve got another thing coming.”

“True,” Sasuke agreed.

“Not you too…” Kakashi lamented.

“AHAHAHA! You’re a pervert and everyone knows it!” Having said this, Naruto took the chance back to turn to Sakura and exclaim: “And see! That bird is weird! Even Kaka-sensei thinks so!”

“Ah, ah. But did you know,” Kakashi cut in, “…that crows are omens of death?”

Naruto froze.

“What?!”

Even Sasuke had narrowed his eyes, but Naruto was clearly the scared one out of the two.

Seizing her chance, Sakura pounced. “Why, yes, Naruto. Didn’t you know? Really, what were you thinking? Insulting a harbinger of death like that.”

“Ah, no way!” Naruto was starting to look worried. “Hmp, well I’m not about to cower from some bird, ya hear that!” He pointed his finger in challenge at the crow, which stared at him unblinkingly.

“Pointing fingers is rude!” Sakura shouted. “Isn’t that right, Shi-chan?” She cooed at the crow and petted it lovingly. “Don’t listen to Naruto; he doesn’t know what he’s talking about.”

“Sh-Shi-chan?” Naruto said in a rather high-pitched voice.

“Yup,” said Sakura smartly. The nickname had been a spur of the moment decision, but if kept Naruto at length, then Sakura was all for it. Besides, it sounded cute, in a creepy kind of way.

“Wah, Sakura-chan, that pet name is so out there!” Naruto shouted.

Sakura couldn’t blame him. Shi was kind of a taboo word, seeing as it meant death, but Sakura figured it wouldn’t do any harm to spook Naruto a little. Kakashi seemed to be thinking along those lines too, because, in the following hours, he made sure to mention as many creepy stories about crows as he could, all the while affecting an air of nonchalance.

Team seven had gone back to taking D-ranks, as with the preparations for the chunin exams (not to mention the lack of available genin) D-ranks were currently in high demand, to the point that even some chunin had to take them. This had greatly appealed to Kakashi’s inner miser, as they were paying exceptionally well. And so, he took out his good humor on Naruto, showering him with horror stories about crows and the occasional spooky genjutsu. On her part, Sakura was proud to say that she had fallen for none of his illusions, some of which even Sasuke-kun had missed. By the end of their first D-rank, Kakashi’s good mod had borne its fruits: Naruto had unearthed all of an old lady’s turnips (while under the illusion that they were weeds), Kakashi had gotten to laugh at him while pretending to be giggling at his book, and finally, an eyeless zombie crow had spent the day replacing Naruto’s reflection every time he looked into a mirror, which had resulted in some very loud screeching, and Naruto claiming that it was a trick but looking remarkably unconvinced.

Shi-chan, meanwhile, was enjoying the treatment of a king on his new perch on Sakura’s shoulder. When Sakura announced that she’d be bringing him along to their second mission, Naruto had protested vehemently against the newest addition, but Kakashi had gleefully countered that the presence of a bird on their team could help lure in the lost cat that they were supposed to find, thereby being more of an asset to the team than Naruto. That had shut him up, but not without a lot of uneasy side-glances at Shi-chan. And so, operation “Retrieval of Tora” began.

It was late afternoon by the time they’d finished the D-rank, and Naruto had, for a change, ended up with a faceful of angry cat, which had translated into copious scratches and loud screaming.

“I don’t get it! Why does it always happen to me?” Naruto had complained. They’d had to do the same mission often enough, and it usually did end up with Naruto covered in cat-scratches. To be honest, though, Sakura felt worse for the cat.

The poor thing was the daimiyo’s wife’s esteemed pet, after all, which meant that any escape attempts on its part were doomed to fail, seeing as the woman was willing to pay actual ninja to retrieve “her precious Tora-nyan”. And quite handsomely, too, as Kakashi had cheerfully pointed out. 

However, Sakura felt that it was unfair to the cat. Her heart was reaching out to the poor thing, truly. It was clear that the daimiyo’s wife abused her pet, forcing it into frilly bows and dresses and even more constricting hugs that looked like they could end in strangulation, all of this as she fattened the poor Tora up while she was at it. It was no wonder that Tora had turned into a makeshift Houdini, thought Sakura sadly. When she said as much to Kakashi, he had just stared at her for a moment and then completely ignored her comment. And so, fifteen minutes later, Sakura found herself angrily stomping through the market, fuming about the Tora situation as she went.

It was as she rounded a corner that Shi-chan, who was still perched on her shoulder, suddenly perked up and flew away, straight into the arms (or shoulder) of Stalker-san.

“Stalker-san!” Sakura exclaimed. Said stalker turned around, the habitual serious expression contrasting strangely with the bag of green, pink and white dango held reverently in Stalker-san’s arms.

Sakura smirked. _I knew it! Shiemi-oba-san better thank me for her new client._ “Ne, stalker-san, you really enjoyed those treats from yesterday, huh?”

“I did,” said Stalker-san simply. And it was in this moment that Sakura had a revelation.

“You – your voice…”

Stalker-san smirked. “My voice?”

“You –“ Sakura’s face was beginning to flush in mortification. “You’re a guy!”

“I am,” _he_ confirmed solemnly.

“Well why didn’t you say something?!”

“I… misunderstood.”

_What is there to misunderstand?!_ screeched Sakura mentally. Unfortunately, Stalker-san did not clarify, so they both ended up staring at the other awkwardly, Sakura’s face redder than a radish, Stalker-san appearing rather cool and collected for someone who had been confused with a woman. Finally, Sakura found her voice again:

“I’m so, so sorry!”

Stalker-san nodded.

“I feel horrible about this, honest!” Sakura continued. This was, hands down, one of the most embarrassing things that had happened to her. “Can I… ugh, can I make it up to you?”

Stalker-san’s eyes betrayed him – instinctively flitting over to Shiemi-oba-san’s stand – then back, as though having realised his mistake. But Sakura had caught it.

“Didn’t you _just_ buy some sweets?” she inquired wonderingly. And a lot of them, at that.

“There is no need for you to do anything, Sakura,” assured the stalker.

“I insist!” Sakura’s mother had drilled manners into her, after all. “I can try to wheedle Shiemi-oba-san into giving me some treats tomorrow, how’s that?”

Stalker-san looked like he desperately wanted to say yes, but was being held back by something. Sakura had no such compunctions: “Okay, then I’ll find you as soon as I get my hands on them!”

Hesitantly, Stalker-san nodded, and, clearly considering ya their interaction to be finished, began to walk down on of the market’s side-streets.

_Wow, rude._

Though Sakura couldn’t exactly blame the guy. She was about to go back to minding her own business, but then she was struck by a burning question.

“Stalker-san, wait up!” As she ran to catch up with him, she noticed some people giving her odd looks, which is when it occurred to her that perhaps calling him “Stalker-san” was not a very polite thing to do.

Stalker-san had continued to walk, at a slower pace, so Sakura caught up easily and fell into step beside him. “Stalker-san, I feel rude calling you this,” said Sakura worriedly.

“I don’t mind,” Itachi said. He had been called way worse. “Was there something else?”

Sakura nodded, remembering her earlier question. “Ne, Stalker-san, if you’re not Kakashi-sensei’s fangirl, then why do you keep stalking us?”

Itachi paused, flummoxed. What now? The girl’s self-deception had been so convenient… He continued to walk. Perhaps he could still make use of it. “Can’t I be a…” he hesitated “a fan boy instead?”

Sakura gaped. That had somehow sounded very weird, coming from someone so serious.

“Uh, sure. So… you have a crush on Kakashi-sensei?”

“A… crush?” Itachi repeated, puzzled. First she had thought he was in love with the man, and now that he wanted to crush him? What was with this girl? “No, I do not wish to hurt him.”

Sakura giggled. “Stalker-san, that’s not what having a crush means at all!”

“Ah.”

“A crush is when your heart goes doki-doki, like… you know?”

“An accelerated heart rate…” mused Itachi. “I do not feel endangered by him either.”

“No! The opposite. You know, when you have a special someone that you care for!” Sakura blushed, thinking of Sasuke-kun.

“Hm,” mused Itachi, also thinking of Sasuke. “Like a little brother?”

“No!” exclaimed Sakura exasperatedly. “I mean when you _like_ like someone!”

“Ah.” Itachi was finally starting to catch on. “Romantically?”

“Yes!”

“Then I can assure you – I may admire him professionally, but I do not have a ‘crush’ on Hatake Kakashi.”

“Oh!” Sakura snapped her fingers. “He’s your idol then, isn’t he? That’s why you’re stalking us!”

“I…” Itachi was forced to to do some deep thinking. It was embarrassing, but perhaps the girl would leave well enough alone if she thought she was right. “Yes, you have come to the correct conclusion… but please refrain from shouting it.”

“Sorry!” said Sakura quietly. “But really, maybe you should think about getting a new idol! Did you know, today we had to do the rescue Tora mission, and…” Sakura quickly relayed what had happened, detailing the case of animal cruelty which Kakashi was clearly ignoring. “…the absolute jerk! And then he said, ‘ma, Sakura-chan, but this mission pays so handsomely’ – can you believe it! Like he didn’t care at all about Tora’s suffering!”

Itachi has indeed witnessed all of this through his crow and had thought the same thing. He hated it when animals were mistreated. Of course, he could understand that the Tora mission brought Konoha some revenue, but he could not be a proud shinobi of the leaf if the leaf made its money from animal endangerment. So he shook his head seriously. He could understand Kakashi’s reasoning, but he was with Sakura in this. “I had not expected that from Kakashi-sem… san.”

“He used to be your sempai?” Sakura said. “Well, it doesn’t matter. Tora is suffering right now and here we are, frivolously gossiping about Kaka-sensei!”

“Yes. I feel bad for Tora,” Itachi has to agree. He himself couldn’t do anything lest he awaken someone’s suspicions, but perhaps Sakura… “May I ask… why didn’t you sabotage your mission?”

Sakura blinked. “I wish it was that easy. But Kaka-sensei is an amazing tracker. Even if I somehow managed to hide Tora, there’s no hiding her scent.”

Itachi frowned thoughtfully. “There is. If you planned adequately, it could be feasible.”

“Really?”

“Yes. Genjutsu and some scent-changing products could go a long way,” he said seriously.

“Oh my gosh! Stalker-san, you sure know your stuff!” Sakura cheered excitedly. “Do you really think we can help Tora?”

Itachi nodded. “Yes.”

“Then we’re doing this?” Sakura asked.

She could. Itachi really shouldn’t get involved. “You can do it yourself.”

“Haah? Talk about two-faced!” Sakura exclaimed hotly. It was clear that the girl felt strongly about the topic.

Her insult, however, considering Itachi’s current position as a double agent, hit a little too close home. “I am not two-faced, nor is my intervention necessary for the successful relocation of Tora,” he said curtly. “You can do it yourself.”

“No, I can’t!” Sakura countered. “I just graduated from the Academy, I’m not skilled enough – but you are older than me and clearly capable enough to apprehend a frigging cat!”

She may have a point – but Itachi was still torn.

“Come on,” Sakura coaxed. “Just think about that poor kitty, being forced into stuffy constraints,” also known as cat-dresses, but details, “and ribbons and mistreatment… it would be so easy, Stalker-san. We lure Tora with some treats, we snag her, and then we keep her until she’s thin enough that no one will recognize her when find her a new family!” Stalker-san still looked undecided, but Sakura was determined. “Please! How could you live with yourself, knowing that it’s in your power to improve this poor kitten’s horrible life – but egotistically choosing not to! That makes you an accomplice, you know? To animal cruelty!” Sakura took a breath. “Come on,” she begged. “No one has to know you helped me! We’ll keep Tora in my house… if anyone gets into trouble, it’ll be me!”

Itachi leveled her with a serious stare. “You are still asking me to kidnap the fire daimiyo’s cat.”

Sakura pouted, deciding to take another approach. “Oh? And are you such an unskilled ninja that you’re afraid of a cat?”

Unskilled? Itachi knew for a fact that he would make a better cat-kidnapper than any other shinobi currently in Konoha. However, that wasn’t the point.

“Insulting me won’t gain you my agreement,” he said sternly. But Sakura was right: he could perhaps pull a few strings without anyone the wiser. Itachi smirked. “But I am not opposed to coaching you through the process.” Sakura blinked. “Sakura. Do you still have the ear-piece you used this morning?”

Two hours later, Sakura was staring down at the reddish fur of the fire daimiyo’s cat, which she was holding in her arms as the damn thing tried to scratch her eyes out. She was in a park by the outskirts of Konoha, waiting for Stalker-san to arrive. He’d been surprisingly effective in commandeering her through the daimiyo’s gardens in such a way that she hadn’t stumbled upon anyone. The first stage of their operation had gone flawlessly.

Then, Sakura coincidentally looked to her left and found Itachi casually propped on a tree, curiously regarding her as she struggled to calm the cat. His lip had quirked upward with bemusement. Sakura almost couldn’t believe it – the sheer nerve! Just for how long had he been standing there…? She was being attacked by a cat here! With claws. Some help would’ve been appreciated.

“Do you think this is funny?” she snapped.

Itachi did, but perhaps saying so would annoy Sakura. So he amended: “just the situation.”

Sakura growled and shoved the cat into his chest. “Here, you hold him, if it’s so funny!”

Itachi nodded agreeably. Sakura, meanwhile, stared on in shock as he made four handsigns which were clearly some sort of genjutsu and took the suddenly calm cat from her like it was nothing. Like he hadn’t just watched her get mauled by the damn beast for three full minutes, all the while hoarding the knowledge on how to calm it down.

Spitefully, Sakura shifted her fingers into the kai position and dispelled the illusion.

_Not so funny now, huh?_

Itachi seemed to have realized his predicament a moment too late, just as the cat turned her loving attentions on him. Unfortunately, both of his hands were occupied holding her, so he couldn’t make any handsigns.

“You–“ he choked.

“Yes?”

“Why did you dispel my genjutsu–?”

“Hmp. That’s karma for you,” interrupted Sakura. “Don’t you know? You get what you give.”

“Please recast the genjutsu, Sakura,” Itachi implored. “The hand-signs are ox, boar, horse and tiger.”

Sakura clucked her tongue and glared at him, but did as asked. Nothing happened on her first attempt. But, realizing what the problem was, she quickly changed her chakra input, rendering Tora a calm cat by the second try.

After the feline had calmed down, Itachi finally lowered his hold on Tora, then gave Sakura a dark look.

“There was no need to undo my genjutsu.”

“What?” Sakura defended. “There was also no need for you to just stand there and have a laugh while I was getting mauled!”

“Pardon?”

“You heard me!”

Itachi was taken aback. “I apologize. I hadn’t realized you wished for me to interfere.”

“Do you need a dying man to tell you to help them or do you just help them?” Sakura retorted waspishly.

Itachi pondered this. The memory came to mind of when, at four years old, he had given his water canteen to a dying iwa shinobi and the man had tried to stab him. Though he had been in a war zone, so perhaps Itachi should’ve known better. “It depends…” he settled on, “but you do have a point.”

Sakura frowned. “Just admit it, you thought my misery was funny.”

“Perhaps,” confessed Itachi. She had reminded him of Shisui getting pecked by his crows when they were children. He glanced around. “However, our priority now is to conceal Tora’s scent and hide her.”

Sakura nodded. “So what’s the plan?”

Itachi thought briefly. “Your usual hair-products are strongly scented, so they should do.”

“You want us to give Tora a bath? After what she just did to me?”

“Among other things.”

Sakura stared. Well alright… She didn’t really like the idea of sacrificing her hair products, but… her inner strategist was plotting. “That’s actually a good idea. Pakkun uses the same conditioner as me, so it might make tracking Tora harder for him.”

Now the question was how to smuggle Tora into her house. But as it turned out, Itachi was more than equipped to accomplish the infiltration. With little to no effort, he was able to open Sakura’s window from the outside (using a hairpin with surprising dexterity) and then taught Sakura a genjutsu which would conceal the cat from prying eyes. Sakura picked it up quickly, as the hard part was to have a perfect visual recollection of one’s surroundings, which wasn’t a problem, considering that they were in her room.

_So far, so good._

After that, Itachi and Sakura had made a trip to the playground and borrowed some sand, which, with the aid of old newspapers, had quickly turned into Tora’s new sandbox in the corner of Sakura’s room. Then, they snuck a plate with fish into her bedroom, as well as some water, and with that they were set to go. 

The hardest part of it all was giving the water-hating Tora a bath, but Itachi and Sakura made a good enough duo to soundly pull it off. As it turned out, Sakura’s hypothesis that Stalker-san loved animals turned out to be correct, meaning he was very good at handling them as well, genjutsu notwithstanding. So while he calmed the cat down, Sakura got on her hands and knees and gave Tora a thorough scrub. The whole ordeal ended with all three of them soaking wet and a ravaged bathroom, but the thought that they had improved a cat’s life was more than enough. As they were cleaning up the mess, Sakura couldn’t contain her giddiness anymore and turned toward Itachi.

“Can you believe it? We did it!”

Itachi continued to remove cat hairs from the bathtub but turned to give her a pleased nod. “Yes. Hopefully our efforts will pay off.”

“Yeah…” said Sakura. “I’ve been wanting to help Tora for ages. This feels great, ne?”

Itachi nodded again. Unfortunately, Sakura was looking at him expectantly, so he surmised that she was waiting for him to say something. “It does. Now we only have to wait until she loses some weight and we can set her free.”

“Yeah!” Sakura agreed wistfully. “In the meantime… I’ve actually never had a cat before, but I’ve heard they’re low maintenance, so I think it’ll be fine.” She paused. “The only danger is my mother barging into my room, even though I tell her not to.”

“Is she a ninja?” asked Itachi worriedly.

Sakura shook her head. “She’s a seamstress.”

“Then she will neither sense Tora’s chakra nor break the genjutsu, as long as you remember to cast it.”

“I’m not _that_ forgetful,” Sakura complained. “But do you really think Kakashi-sensei won’t be able to track Tora?”

“If he were to receive the mission in the following two or three days, he might,” said Itachi. “Sakura, you must veto it if it’s offered to you.”

Sakura nodded. “I’ll do my best. But what if an Inuzuka takes it?”

“We must hope that’s not the case.”

“But what if it happens?”

“…I could have one of my crows keep watch,” Itachi offered. “Just in case. However, it’s unlikely, as most of the Inuzuka are specialized jonin.”

Sakura nodded. “Keep me posted if anything happens.” She stroked Tora. Sakura was going to make sure the cat was happy or be damned.

  
  


The next day, Sakura played her part and rallied Naruto and Sasuke so that they’d pester Kakashi into not doing any missions. Kakashi seemed to have sensed that it was her behind their renewed fervor, but Sakura simply smiled and played it innocent. He couldn’t find out that she’d kidnapped Tora, after all, no matter what.

And so, team seven resumed their training. Naruto and Sasuke spent the morning sparring, as was usual for them, but Kakashi deviated from the pattern:

“Sakura-chan,” he said, plopping down next to her suddenly. “The genjutsu is complete.”

Sakura blinked. “I’m sorry?”

“You asked for a way to measure distances accurately, didn’t you?” Kakashi asked. “Ma. So I thought: who am I to let my cute, little kohai down? And I made this.” His hands blurred through an assortment of handsigns, and suddenly Sakura was trapped in the strangest genjutsu she’d ever seen. Resisting the temptation to break it, she glanced around. The world all around her looked a little darker – different, somehow – and strange blueish arrows went from one tree to another, from one patch of soil to the next, from clover to stone to flower, tiny little numbers inscribed on top of each arrow. And then Sakura realized that they were measurements, extremely accurate measurements.

A smile broke out on her face. “Sensei!” she was so happy, that she pulled a Naruto and tackled him. Kakashi tensed under her hug – his back suddenly ramrod straight, so Sakura quickly let go. She didn’t want to make him uncomfortable, though it saddened her that he was so averse to human contact. “Thanks so much, Kaka-sensei,” said Sakura. “You’re the best.”

“I try,” said Kakashi cheerily. “So. Wanna know the handsigns?”

“Yes, please!”

And so Kakashi spent the next few minutes walking her through the basics of the technique, showing her the handsign sequence and some of the basics to successfully cast the genjutsu. Apparently, the technique relied on some complex built in mechanics that had a lot to do with advanced genjutsu theory and concepts which Sakura wasn’t privy to. But from what she managed to squeeze out of Kakashi, it sounded very complex, despite his insistence to the contrary.

To be quite fair, Sakura was really touched. He had gone through all that trouble… for her?

“And you completely made it up?” she asked incredulously. “You just… invented a whole new genjutsu all on your own?”

Kakashi chuckled. “Ma, I didn’t do all that much. Just took some inspiration here and there and blended all those ideas together.”

Sakura resisted the urge to tackle him again. “Sensei… thank you so much.” He was the first person to ever look at her – at the civilian nobody – and put in the work just for her sake. Despite herself, Sakura could feel treacherous tears start to well up.

“Uhh… Sakura-chan?”

Sakura tried to hold them back, but there was just no helping it. She was emotional to a fault. To hell with it. Sakura quickly scrubbed them away and smiled so hard her cheeks hurt. “This means a lot, sensei.”

Kakashi smiled. “Hm, and here I thought I was toughening you up.”

“Hey! I’m not a crybaby!”

“Ah, of course.”

“Something got into my eye!”

Kakashi smiled fondly. “Sure.”

Sakura sniffed, trying to divert attention from her runny nose. “Ne, sensei? Did you name the technique?”

“Hm?” Kakashi frowned. “Nope.”

“But you came up with it! You should name it.”

“Alright then…” said Kakashi. “How about… _chiheisen_?”

Sakura’s first thought was… _it sounds a lot like the chidori._ And also: _he’s secretly a poet isn’t he?_ What she actually said was: “Horizon? It sounds cool, but isn’t it a bit random?”

Kakashi smiled. “I’m glad you like it, but it’s not. You see, this technique works like a chakra horizon of sorts. If it’s within the range of your genjutsu, you can measure it. Beyond that, beyond what you can see, is the horizon, no?”

“True.” Sakura smiled. “You really are a poet, sensei. But I guess I should’ve already guessed that when you named your signature technique ‘a hundred birds chirping’. It’s almost zen.”

“Ah, well I have a great source of inspiration.” Kakashi waved his Icha Icha around. “Maybe one day, I’ll write my own.”

“Over my dead body!”

“Ma, no need to be drastic, Sakura-chan.”

And that, hands down, was one of her happiest moments on team seven so far. Sakura felt so happy and grateful to Kakashi, in fact, that she resolved to master the chiheisen no matter the cost. She spent the whole morning and afternoon doing so, and when their training ended, she was the last to go home. Seeing as Sakura had walked Kakashi’s dogs the day before, she was free to do whatever with her evening. But she was still feeling pumped up and excited, so Sakura decided to continue training for a little and went to the lake at which she’d met Stalker-san to practice her water-walking. Unfortunately, Stalker-san wasn’t there. Her purpose for coming had been to train, Sakura tried to tell herself, not see Stalker-san, so it didn’t matter that he was absent.

With these thoughts, she spent about half an hour practicing her water-walking, until a point came where the whole thing came naturally to her. She really hadn’t thought that mastering it fully would be this easy… It felt pointless to have made the trip to the lake just for half an hour’s worth training. It was then that Sakura had another crazy idea. She blamed Kakashi for passing on his insanity… yet the idea was still there. If she could walk on the water’s surface, could she also walk on it’s surface, but upside down?

She was crazy for even trying it, but no one was around, so Sakura wasn’t scared of making a fool out of herself. So she jumped into the water, took a deep breath, and dove under. It was still sunny out, but at this hour, the lake was already a little cold.

_Concentrate, Sakura._

Forcing herself to ignore the cold, Sakura swum around a little, both to warm her limbs and get into the right state of mind. Then, she gave herself a push and got started. Mentally whispering encouragements to herself, Sakura sloppily flipped around under water, so that she was upside down. Then, carefully, she tried placing her feet exactly where the water ended and the air started. The practice was much more strenuous on her legs, and quickly, her lungs, than normal water-walking had been, so Sakura was forced to give up her attempt rather early. Still, she was sure that it could be done. When she resurfaced, it was to Stalker-san’s face inches from her.

“GAAAAAH!”

Stalker-san blinked at her. “Ah, my apologies.”

“Don’t startle me like that, Stalker-san!”

This was giving her strong déjà vu.

“May I ask what you were doing?”

Sakura frowned, embarrassed. So he’d seen her. Why was it that Stalker-san always managed to catch her in embarrassing predicaments? “I was – uh. Trying to walk upside down on the water.”

Stalker-san stared at her blankly. “I have never heard of such a thing.”

Sakura blushed, feeling a need to defend herself. “That doesn’t mean it’s impossible!”

Stalker-san seemed to be pondering this. “No, I suppose not. Though, then, what you are attempting should be called ‘air walking’.”

Sakura frowned. “Well, maybe. I’m still figuring out the logistics.”

Stalker-san’s interest appeared to have been piqued. “This seems like an interesting skill to have. Perhaps, if you learn, you could teach it to your teammates.”

Sakura gave him an odd look. “I guess I could teach Sasuke-kun to get back into his good graces,” she pondered out loud.

Stalker-san seemed to approve. “I’m sure he would appreciate it.” Inwardly, Itachi more than approved. Air-walking, if indeed possible, could prove an invaluable skill for combat upon large water bodies. Seeing as his foolish little brother was very reliant on his fire-nature, such an advantage would round out his skill set quite well.

Itachi glanced at Sakura contemplatively. His foolish little brother truly had an interesting teammate. She came up with the most intriguing of ideas. Besides for which, Itachi was actually quite eager to explore the possibility of ‘air walking’. Figuring such things out had amused him endlessly in his childhood, and it had been a while since he’d had anything at all to figure out. This is perhaps why he offered to help Sakura out with her self-appointed challenge.

“If you don’t mind, I would like to try to learn air-walking as well, Sakura.”

Sakura blinked at him owlishly, then smiled one of those smiles Itachi still couldn’t wrap his head around. “Sure!” she said cheerily. “With your help, I’m sure we’ll figure this out in no time!”

And then she could teach it to his brother and make him stronger.

“And then I can teach it to Sasuke-kun and make him fall for me!”

Or well, that.

  
  


The next day, Sakura woke up full of energy, still excited about yesterday’s encounter with Stalker-san, the air-walking, and most of all, the chiheisen. She had dressed at the speed of light, packed a bag with spare clothes (to change into for when she’d inevitably have to walk Kakashi’s demon spawns) and a snack for lunch. With that, she was ready to go and left her house with excited kisses to both of her parents’ cheeks and a loud (if mental) cheer of ‘shannaro!’

Strangely, when she got to the red bridge, Kakashi was already there. This would’ve already been enough of a red flag without seeing Sasuke and Naruto’s expressions. Both boys looked disgruntled, arguing with Kakashi about something, but as Sakura got closer, they shut up.

Sakura felt her stomach sink. “Uh, good morning.”

No one answered – Naruto busy glowering at Kakashi, and Sasuke too preoccupied with narrowing his eyes at her. With that, the last member of their team, Shi-chan, suddenly came flying from a near building and descended regally upon Sakura’s shoulder, then pecked her ear.

 _At least someone’s happy to see me_ , thought Sakura mournfully. Still, she couldn’t shake the thought that, whatever they had been talking about involved her.

“Ahhh, get that bird away from me!” shouted Naruto, having snapped out of it.

“Now, now. That’s no way to talk to the resident harbinger of death,” chastised Kakashi. It almost seemed like things were returning to normalcy, when–

“Stop deflecting,” Sasuke spat with narrowed eyes. “You taught her” he nodded at Sakura “a new jutsu yesterday, didn’t you?”

Sakura felt her stomach drop. It had never been her intention to get Kakashi into trouble. When no one said anything, Sasuke’s nostrils flared. “Well? Didn’t you?”

“Ah, S-Sasuke-kun,” Sakura stuttered weakly. “I’m sure sensei can teach it to you as well…”

Sasuke glanced at her. “So she admits it,” he spat coldly.

“That’s enough, Sasuke,” Kakashi cut in. His voice was sharp. “You are a team. Each of you has a right to expand their owns skill-set, without the other two blowing a fuse about it.” He surveyed them all. “Right now, none of you are even close to ready to apply for the chunin exams.”

“But you already entered us once!” Naruto protested.

“And you showed me just how much of a mistake that was,” Kakashi countered coldly.

“No. We didn’t,” snarled Sasuke. “ _She_ did.”

All of them looked at Sakura, and in that moment, Sakura felt her blood freeze. Sasuke’s expression was one of rage, akin to a pot boiling over. Naruto’s clear blue eyes were not resentful, but still annoyed at the very least, even if that sentiment was reserved for Kakashi. And Kakashi himself… if Sasuke’s gaze was scalding, Kakashi’s was absolutely frigid. He was mad, Sakura realized with a sinking stomach. Unfortunately, the other two were too blinded by their own anger to notice.

“Sakura was the only one to show concern about her team,” Kakashi said. “Neither of you displayed any team work whatsoever, selfishly putting your own egos above anything else.” He glared at Naruto. “Naruto, you were so set on passing the exam, even despite your abysmal odds, that you didn’t even care if it would strand, not just you, but both of your teammates, permanently as career genin.”

“But I–!”

“And Sasuke. You realized what the test was truly about – cheating – yet the thought didn’t even occur to you that you could help your teammates.”

Sasuke’s jaw clenched. “You –“ he glared at Sakura. “You tattletale. Kakashi, what she told you is wrong. Warped.” His lip jutted out, forming an almost sneer.

Naruto had gone uncharacteristically quiet, and Sakura was trying not to cry.

Kakashi was glaring at Sasuke. “Oh, care to enlighten me? Did you not realize what the purpose of the test was, Sasuke?”

“Tch. Of course I did.”

“And did you not notice Naruto struggling?”

Sasuke said nothing.

“Are you trying to tell me,” continued Kakashi, “that the pride and joy of the academy wouldn’t have managed to get some simple answers to his teammate across the room? I’ve asked around, you know. All of your Academy classmates successfully cheated _as a team_. All – but you.”

Sasuke’s entire face had scrunched up. “I don’t need teammates!” he burst out.

“Sasuke, you _do_.”

“A chain is only as weak as its weakest link!”

Kakashi looked at him, then seemed to deflate. “I used to be like you,” he said, his voice somber. Both Sakura and Naruto perked up, realizing that Kakashi’s anger had shifted to something else. But he didn’t elaborate until even Sasuke looked at him. “I had two teammates – one of them, I thought of as a crybaby –“ here Sakura took in a sharp breath “–the other as someone who didn’t have the right temperament for ninja work.” It was Naruto, in this case, who shifted around uncomfortably. “What I didn’t realize at the time,” Kakashi continued, his eye bellying a deep sadness, “was that having emotions is not a curse, but a blessing.” He looked at Sakura significantly. “The one I had thought of as a crybaby had strong, powerful emotions which made him just as strong when the time to be came. In the end, he was brave where I was not, and he was a hero where I was a failure – to my friends and my team, which is the only thing that matters. In the end, only he could put his teammates above himself.”

“Sensei, and what about the other one?” asked Naruto. “The one without the right personality to be a ninja?”

“She was gentle and desired not to break, not to injure, but to mend,” said Kakashi with a soft voice. “She channeled her desire into a skill that strengthened us all – she was always there to cover our backs when we were too reckless. She was our healer.”

Naruto, Sasuke and Sakura were all aware that what Kakashi was telling them was extremely private. It felt very special and significant, coming from such an elusive man.

“Sensei, what happened?” Sakura ventured. “When… when did you realize that teamwork was important?”

Kakashi sighed, a shuddering, sad sound, and looked at each and every one of them in the eye for a long time.

“When it was too late.”

After that, team seven was uncharacteristically somber. Sasuke had lowered his head and was refusing to meet anyone’s eyes, Naruto was quiet, an uneasy sort of energy about him, and Sakura couldn’t even stand to look at Sasuke without feeling an urge to start crying. Kakashi didn’t touch his books the entire morning. When he declared that they’d be doing D-ranks again, everyone was almost glad. Anything to break the oppressive atmosphere.

“What about the Tora mission?” the hokage proposed. Sakura felt her blood run cold.

“The cat’s gone missing again?” inquired Naruto, sounding less outraged than what would’ve been normal for him.

“It appears so,” the hokage said with a sigh.

This was bad. Naruto didn’t seem like he was in any mood to complain today, and Kakashi had been uncharacteristically non-lazy, which would mean Sakura’s rescuing Tora operation would be busted before the cat’s new life even began. She could not let that happen.

“Um, could we, uh, please be allowed a different D-rank, hokage-sama?” Sakura asked haltingly. “It’s just… we have already completed the Tora mission a lot, and we, uh, we could use something to cheer us up right now, even if the pay is, uhh…” she hoped to god Kakashi wouldn’t be mad about this. Or the hokage. Or anyone, really. She felt so silly in her childish request.

“Sakura, yes?” asked the hokage kindly.

Sakura’s gaze was downcast as she nodded. It was her first time speaking to such an authority figure, and she was intimated.

The hokage surveyed her attentively, then looked at the rest of team seven. “Yes, you all seem a little downtrodden, don’t you? Even Naruto-kun.”

“Am not, gramps,” said Naruto with a lack of enthusiasm that all but confirmed the hokage’s statement.

“Very well, no Tora,” the hokage said after a moment. “How about this, then…?”

They spent the morning working at Ichiraku’s ramen shop, helping the owner and his daughter set things up for the no doubt increased amount of clients that the chunin exams would bring. As it turned out, Teuchi and Ayame’s intervention had been enough to cheer Naruto up, which in turn had reflected upon the rest of team seven. Sakura had even ended up befriending Ayame, who was very nice and knew a lot about cooking. She also seemed to have a crush on Kakashi. However, recalling the disaster that had been her latest attempt at matchmaking, Sakura decided not to do anything about it. For now.

Not to mention, Kakashi seemed to be quite aware of the situation, seeing as he had made a point of messing with Ayame by giggling at his Icha Icha the whole time he was there, and offering the book to her by the end. Consequenlty, Ayame had ended up blushing so much that she’d fainted.

The morning had ended with Sakura’s fellow fangirl instincts kicking in, which had resulted in her screeching at Kakashi for being a pervert as she was fussing over poor Ayame, who looked like she wanted to be swallowed by a ramen bowl. A highly bemused Teuchi-san had then rounded up their mission nicely by inviting them to some ramen in thanks for all their hard work.

It had been the perfect chance to sneak a peak under Kakashi’s mask, a series of attempts which had somehow ended up with Kakashi flashing Teuchi and a starstruck Ayame, but not even by far Sakura, Sasuke or Naruto.

Kakashi seemed perfectly aware of what they were up to and clearly was toying with them, which is why the three genin were all rather disgruntled on the way to pick up their next mission, but it was a more familiar kind of disgruntlement.

“Ma, ma, my cute students, don’t be like that,” Kakashi had commented offhandedly. “Let’s see, if you behave next mission, I’ll introduce you to elemental chakra.”

“SERIOUSLY?” Naruto had shouted.

Even Sasuke had looked pleased, even though he already knew some fire-related jutsu. Sakura had felt giddy too. She’d done some light reading about chakra natures the year prior. What would hers be?

The next mission turned into a trip to the local photographer, who was also preparing for all the pictures foreigners might wish to take once they arrived for the finals of the chunin exams. Team seven was so set on their price at the end of the mission that even Naruto refrained (mostly) from breaking things and tried to play nice, even though the photographer was a right jerk. To be honest, though, Sakura did most of the work, aka sucking up to the photographer by complimenting a bunch of uninspired photographs hanging off the wall. The man was so pleased with this, that he complimented Sakura’s ninja skills and even offered to take a picture for them by the end. Free of charge.

Naturally, Sakura was excited about the whole picture thing. If she managed to pose next to Sasuke-kun, she could even cut the others out and it would look like they had taken a picture together, just the two of them.

 _Kyaaaa!_ Once they had kids, they could show them that picture, perhaps even display it next to their wedding photos, if it turned out well…

Some might call her daydreaming a flight of fancy, but Sakura preferred prophetical inspiration. By the time she’d finished fantasizing about her prophetical inspirations, Kakashi, Sasuke and Naruto were already standing in front of a wall with a forest backdrop, and Sakura suddenly felt lost. Each boy was at one side of Kakashi, standing a little closer to the camera than their sensei. The three looked harmonious as they stood there, symmetrical. Like there wasn’t space for one more person without ruining the picture. Sakura suddenly felt like she wouldn’t fit anywhere.

“Sakura-chan, you’re making us wait,” Kakashi piped up, tearing her from her defeatist thoughts. “C’mere.”

He waved her over, and somehow, Sakura suddenly found herself sandwiched between Sasuke-kun and Kakashi. The close proximity to her crush, was, if she was honest, the most romantic thing ever, even if the position was a little uncomfortable.

 _Chaaa! This must be fate!_ Sakura thought excitedly. Her prophecies were reliable after all! That, or Kakashi had decided to indulge in some match-making himself. Either way, neither Sasuke nor Naruto looked all too thrilled by the new arrangement. Naruto, because he wanted to be next to Sakura, and Sasuke because he didn’t. The only one who was absolutely pleased was Sakura herself, who wasn’t even sure whether she’d ever stood so close to Sasuke-kun before. She could almost even sniff his shampoo! Unfortunately, Sasuke seemed to have sensed this and inched away from her ever so subtly. But to someone as attuned to him as Sakura was, his maneuver was glaringly obvious. Mortified that she’d been caught sniffing him, of all things, Sakura could feel heat creep up her face.

“Ready?” asked the photographer. “Three, two, one…”

–her perfectly practiced smile suddenly felt strained–

“Say kunai!”

In that exact moment, Shi-chan came flying out of nowhere and alighted on Sakura’s arm, causing her and Kakashi to twitch, while Sasuke glared at the attention-seeking crow suspiciously. Naruto, sensing his chance, used the distraction to prop himself up on Kakashi and jump forward as he flashed the photographer his headband – clearly some sort of ploy to seem taller than Sasuke.

Kakashi, meanwhile, was the only one who cheerfully intoned ‘kunai’ as instructed, while Sasuke gave some kind of intelligible mutter that was blocked by the collar of his shirt. Sakura was too busy keeping her cosmetic smile in place and trying to will her flush to disappear.

The final product was a photograph which only Kakashi appeared satisfied with, seeing as Sasuke’s maneuvering had resulted in him looking a lot shorter than everyone else, while Naruto, whose wild jump had him seem taller, had ended up with Kakashi giving him devil horns for his troubles.

Sakura, meanwhile, had been very much mortified at the thought that Sasuke had caught her sniffing him, so she’d ended up blushing and with a fake smile that was betrayed by her widened eyes. Well, at least her blush looked cute.

The only one who seemed to be absolutely at ease and clearly thriving on the chaos he’d created was Kakashi himself, who was giving the camera a happy smile.

Their mission had ended with Naruto getting into a tiff with the photographer, who had refused to retake the picture on account of it being too funny. Sakura could’ve perhaps convinced him, but Kakashi would’ve done something to ruin it again, so she didn’t even bother. In the end, all members of team seven had left the shop with the newly-printed photograph in their packs, even though Naruto had spitefully announced that he’d flush it down the toilet.

(Later, Sakura would catch it framed upon his night table.)

It was after such an eventful last mission that team seven began to once again pester Kakashi to teach them about elemental chakra. Kakashi, surprisingly enough, agreed that a promise was a promise, and that he would teach them, but just the basics. Then he lead them to a weapons shop down the road, because apparently he needed to retrieve something important first.

“Oh, oh!” Naruto had exclaimed excitedly. “What are we gonna buy?” He kept guessing even as Kakashi got into a conversation, aka bargaining match, with the clerk. “Do you think he’s gonna buy a sword?” Naruto pondered. “I’m so pumped about this!”

“Idiot,” drawled Sasuke. “Why would he want a sword to teach us about elemental chakra?”

“Sasuke-kun is right,” Sakura piped up. “I think he’s going to buy chakra paper since I read in a book that–“

“Bah, that’s so lame, Sakura-chan!” Naruto interrupted. “I bet Sensei has something cooler in store!”

As it turned out once they made it to their usual training ground, chakra paper was exactly what Kakashi had in store.

“Oh, I knew you’d get that, believe it!” Naruto exclaimed knowingly.

“Tch. Idiot,” was Sasuke’s sole contribution.

Sakura resisted the urge to sock Naruto on the head.

“That’s great, Naruto,” said Kakashi drolly. “Very insightful of you.”

“Ahahaha! Of course! I’m the most insinful ninja there is!”

“Insightful, dobe,” Sasuke corrected.

Kakashi seemed not to have noticed the mistake. “So, in light of your contribution, I’m guessing you know all about chakra paper, Naruto. Why don’t you share with the class?”

Naruto stilled. “Ehm, uhhh. Chakra paper… is… paper made of chakra, believe it!” When everyone only stared at him blankly, he frowned. “What? Is it not?”

“Chakra isn’t tangible,” said Sakura blankly.

Kakashi chuckled. “I’ll explain then. Chakra paper is a special kind of paper which reacts to your chakra when infused into it. Depending on what it does, a person is able to tell what kind of chakra nature they have.”

“Oh!” exclaimed Naruto. “I bet I’ll have sexy chakra! I’m really good at the sexy no jutsu, ya know?”

No one was listening. Sakura, at least, was too enthused to. Would she have water chakra? It was the most graceful of natures, to be sure. She could only imagine how beautiful she’d look amidst her glimmering water attacks. Or perhaps wind chakra? It wasn’t visible the way water was, but she was sure that it would allow her to greatly improve upon the kunai throwing technique she was working on. But what about fire chakra? If she had a chakra nature like Sasuke’s, it would be the perfect excuse to go on a training spar but secretly a date with him! Earth, on the other hand, seemed useful too, seeing as it was a very defensive chakra nature, and just what Sakura could use to boost her (very lacking) defense a little. Last, there was lightning, which, if you asked Sakura, was the coolest chakra nature there was. Kakashi’s chidori was truly so pretty with all the flashing lights and all. Unfortunately, Sakura had heard that it was the hardest to control, and only very strong ninja had enough pain tolerance to harness it, seeing as it was apparently not very pleasant on the skin. So Sakura may think it cool, but she didn’t fancy getting an ugly epidermis not to mention pain, each time she performed a jutsu…

In any case, she surmised, whatever Nature she got didn’t matter because all of them were super cool, and her above-average chakra control would help her master it.

“Alright, Sasuke, why don’t you go first?” Kakashi encouraged.

Sasuke took the paper, which, strangely enough, wrinkled almost as soon as he touched it.

“Cool!” cheered Naruto. “But we already knew the teme has fire nature! Can I go now?”

Kakashi sighed. “This means he has lightning nature, Naruto.”

Sasuke quirked an eyebrow.

“Like you?”

Kakashi nodded. “You obviously have a fire nature as well, just like every Uchiha. But lightning? That’s interesting.”

“Interesting, blah, blah, blah. Can I go now?” Naruto repeated impatiently.

Kakashi swatted him with the paper for his impatience, yet nevertheless handed it over. This time, it took a little longer for Naruto to concentrate, but soon, enough, the paper had suddenly broken into two. It was a clean cut.

“Wind nature,” Kakashi said.

“Huh? Oh, cool! We can team up to create a combo, teme!”

Sasuke sniffed, but didn’t seem all that averse to the idea. “We’ll see if you even manage it, idiot.”

“HAH? I won’t lose to you, Sasuke!”

Meanwhile, Sakura was losing her patience. “Guys, it’s my turn now…”

“Sorry, Sakura-chan,” Naruto said excitedly. “Ne, sensei, what chakra nature makes wind stronger? I bet Sakura-chan will have it!”

Sakura ignored him and took the proffered paper. She channeled her chakra and…

Nothing happened.

“Uh, Sakura-chan?” Kakashi said. “You’re supposed to channel your chakra into it.”

“I-I’m on it,” Sakura stuttered, but still nothing happened, no matter how much chakra she sent into the paper.

“What are you waiting for, Sakura-chan?” Naruto said impatiently. “C’mon! We need to get started on our training already!”

Sakura felt herself growing desperate. Why? Why wasn’t it working for her? Why was she always the odd one out? To her mortification, she found that she had started crying. And she had managed to do so well at holding it back in front of Sasuke-kun until now, too. Crybaby, indeed.

“Sakura-chan!” Naruto exclaimed. “What’s wrong?”

“It’s not working,” Sakura confessed miserably. “I don’t have a chakra nature!”

“That’s not possible,” said Sasuke. “Everyone has one.”

“Yeah, Sakura-chan. I’m sure you have a chakra nature too, believe it.”

Despite herself, Sakura felt herself smile, even as the tears dripped down. Both her teammates… they were trying to cheer her up, in their own way. She was lucky to have them. Sakura felt even more tears coming as she wondered whether it worked the other way around too? Perhaps Sasuke was right. No, there was no question about it – he was. She was the weakest link, the crybaby, the one without a chakra nature.

_And a chain is only as strong as its weakest link._

Was she making her team weak?

At some point, she realized that her teammates had started to train without her, leaving her to cry by herself. Somehow, that made the hurt worse. She really was pathetic, Sakura concluded. Even now, she was holding them back by expecting them to drop everything just to comfort her and her delicate sensibilities!

Sakura hated that part about herself, the whole crying part. She thought she’d gotten over it upon befriending Ino, but apparently she was only confident as long as things were easy. And she wanted it to stop. She wanted to be like Ino, who would’ve reacted by throwing a fit, maybe, locking the tears away until she was alone. Sakura wanted to be like that too, to compartmentalize and be tough even when her tear ducts began to act up. She swore to herself that she would train more and cry less from now on. It was a resolution that had her calming down a little. Or perhaps she’d only gotten the resolution after calming down. Either way, Sakura had managed to put a stop to the mortifying water works and was cleaning the evidence with a tissue.

“Feeling better?” a voice asked suddenly. It was Kakashi, and somehow, even though Sakura had just promised herself not to long for people to comfort her all the time, his presence already made her feel a little better.

Sakura nodded. “Yeah, sorry…”

“Even if it turns out that you can’t use elemental jutsu,” Kakashi said seriously, “I’ll teach you a different jutsu instead, okay?”

Sakura nodded. “Thanks, sensei. You really are the best. I’m sorry for burdening you guys with all this crying.”

“It’s fine, Sakura-chan,” came his reply along with his usual smile. “I think Naruto would’ve thrown a much worse tantrum in your place, don’t you?”

Sakura would’ve liked to believe him, but… “He wouldn’t have cried.”

Kakashi sighed, looking uncomfortable. “You know, Sakura-chan,” he said finally, “crying is good. Not too often, if you can help it. But still. Do you know how it’s something the Yamanaka I went to always scolded me about not doing?”

Sakura giggled, despite herself. Despite the fact that Kakashi had just told her that he visited some kind of… psychologist, the way he’d said it brought a smile to her face.

“He told you to cry? Like, just like that?”

“Yes. It was such an awkward conversation, and we had it over and over.”

“And…?”

“Well, unfortunately, I seem to lack the ability.”

“What?” said Sakura. “But that’s…”

“Not something you want happening to you,” said Kakashi, calmly. “It’s not something I can control, either. But if I had a choice? I’d prefer to be able to have a good, old-fashioned water-works show every once in a while.”

Sakura giggled. Her sensei really was the oddest person, admitting those kinds of things. But strangely, Sakura suddenly felt that that openness was a form of strength, even if Sasuke-kun was never open like that.

“Do you really mean it?” asked Sakura. But wait? What if he was lying? Suspicion was starting to bloom in her mind. “What is even crying good for? I get the feeling that you’re just making this up to make me feel better, sensei. I mean, I appreciate it, but…”

Kakashi shook his head. “Hmm, I suppose I can see why you’d think that. Most shinobi think that emotion is a weakness… but repressing it doesn’t mean it goes away. Hmm, how should I explain this.” He then pulled something out of his pocket. It was kind of like a balloon, but not–

“Is that–“

_AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!_

Sakura’s mortification had reached new levels, her face suddenly on fire. It was a condom. A condom! She had only ever heard stories about those things from the lecherous boys in her class, but she was fairly sure that it was.

“Sensei, you’re so improper! What are you even doing with that! PUT THAT AWAY!”

“What?” said Kakashi. “This is just a balloon. What else would it be?”

Sakura hadn’t ever seen a condom before, so she couldn’t exactly argue. Nor did she want to. Still, what on earth was he up to now? It better not be something perverted…!

But then she was distracted when Kakashi ambled over to the little lake Naruto had once hid in and dipped the… balloon into the water. Sakura once again was busy thinking and lamenting about the weirdness of her sensei, her earlier thoughts and worries so completely gone that it took her a moment to refocus on the conversation when Kakashi said:

“This balloon is you.”

Sakura looked at him suspiciously. “Okay…?”

“And the water are all your problems.”

“Uhuh.”

“So, tell me, Sakura-chan,” continued Kakashi. “What would happen if you were to keep pouring and pouring problems into it without stopping?”

Sakura was kind of starting to see where this was going. “It would… it would burst and make a mess.”

“Exactly,” said Kakashi, looking pleased. “However, if I…” he took a senbon from his pocket and popped the balloon neatly, resulting into a small hole which sprinkled water about. “do this, then it won’t ever burst, ne?”

Sakura suddenly understood: the little stream of water represented her tears, which may be a little annoying, but truly nothing compared to the balloon bursting at full capacity…

She blinked. Why was her oddball of a teacher such a strange combination of insightful and perverted? “You’re right…”

“Hey!” Naruto shouted. “Are you guys gonna start a water balloon fight? Cuz I want in!”

“Get back to training the jutsu I taught you,” Kakashi said dryly, ignoring the rest of Naruto’s exclamations and pocketing the… balloon. “And this is why, Sakura-chan, crying every now and then is good.”

“Yeah, but I still have some pretty bad timing,” Sakura asserted.

“Ah, well that makes two of us.”

“Better late than never,” Sakura advised.

“Hm, wise words indeed. So,” he looked at her with a quirked brow. “Ready to try again? This time I’ll use my sharingan to try and tell what’s going on.”

Sakura nodded, feeling much better already, and pulled out her chakra paper.

“…it’s soaked,” deadpanned Kakashi.

“That’s the crybaby no jutsu for you,” said Sakura jokingly.

“What mighty prowess indeed,” Kakashi commented with a chuckle. “Good thing I have a spare.”

And so Sakura tried to infuse her chakra into the paper again. And again, absolutely nothing happened. The chakra paper may as well have been a completely normal piece of paper for all the good it did.

“Hmm,” said Kakashi after a few minutes of intense scrutiny with his sharingan. “I’m not sure, exactly, but it really seems like your chakra doesn’t have any nature.”

“Ah,” said Sakura uncertainly. “Can you tell me more?”

“Well… it’s hard to describe,” Kakashi said pensively. “Your chakra interacts strangely with the paper. It’s almost like it’s too thin, but… not. I’m not sure.”

“Do you think something is wrong with my chakra?”

He looked confused. “It could mean a number of things. But I’m really not an expert in this, so I don’t know.” Kakashi frowned. “It could be a consequence of your chakra control. I’ve never seen chakra so thin as yours – even medics usually have it more defined, so to speak.”

“So I guess my good chakra control is a double edged sword, huh?” concluded Sakura.

“Yes, but it’s also an amazing asset to have,” Kakashi told her. “Many of the hardest ninja disciplines require it. Chakra healing, for instance. Chakra string creation for puppeteering, as well. Even fuinjutsu. Those are just the first few options I could think of, and none of them require elemental chakra.”

Sakura frowned. “I guess.”

“Listen, elemental jutsu are very draining,” Kakashi continued. “Most ninja put a lot of effort into learning them, but, sometimes I wonder whether all the time I’ve spent on them really could’ve been invested better.”

Sakura blinked. “You mean besides for being late to everything?”

“Ma, I’m never late to the bookstore.” Kakashi quipped, but then sobered. “As you know, I have problems with frequent chakra depletion. Remember Wave?”

Sakura nodded, recalling that particular horror story well. “Wasn’t that because of your sharingan?”

“Yes. It drains a lot of my chakra, which is why I try not to use it if at all possible,” Kakashi explained. “However, sometimes the situation calls for it.” He paused significantly. “And as you can probably guess, having very chakra-consuming elemental jutsu as my only trick to rely on in those cases really doesn’t help my problem.”

Sakura gaped, suddenly viewing Kakashi the shinobi in an entirely different light. “That’s… I’d never thought of it like that.”

“See what I mean, Sakura-chan?” Most people at your age make the mistake of only wanting to learn elemental jutsu. But when you get to where I am, a lot of people try to replace them for other skills. Have you ever wondered what kind of shinobi ANBU are?” Sakura shook her head mutely. “They’re the kind who can outlast everyone else with just a katana and their wits. Most of them know elemental jutsu, and most of them don’t use them unless the situation forces their hand. There are exceptions,” he added sheepishly, “but for the most part, you get into ANBU by learning how to pace yourself.”

Sakura grinned. “You aren’t very good at pacing yourself though.”

“Ah, but did I ever claim to have joined?”

Sakura rolled her eyes. “You seem to know its inner workings pretty well for someone who hasn’t. And you told me about that ANBU captain, remember?”

Kakashi chuckled. “As it happens, I don’t.”

Sakura narrowed her eyes at him. “Hm. Anyway, I hope it didn’t also slip your mind that you promised to teach me another jutsu if it turned out that I can’t use elemental chakra.”

“Uh, but that was to cheer you up…”

“That’s not how promises work!” Sakura sputtered. Then, slyly: “Do you want me to start crying again?”

“They grow up so fast…” Kakashi sighed mournfully. “Alright, I’ll teach you a jutsu. Any ideas?”

“Actually, yes.” Sakura had always found it cool when Kakashi puffed away all of a sudden, and had been wanting to try it herself. So she relayed as much to him.

“The shunshin, huh?” Kakashi considered speculatively.

He seemed to hesitate, and Sakura felt her heart sink.

“What, do you think I can’t do it either?” she challenged, trying to put on a brave face.

“Uh, well… it _is_ a lot harder than what those two are learning.” He frowned. “And dangerous. The speed at which this jutsu allows a person to travel means that you won’t be able to see where you’re going.”

Sakura blinked. “Then how do you do it? Why aren’t jonin constantly bumping into things?”

“In my case,” said Kakashi, “I have the sharingan to see. Though I don’t use it for this kind of thing. What most of us do, I would wager, is combine memory with chakra sensing. For a shunshin not to kill you, you have to know each building by heart, or at the very least, the route you plan on taking. That knowledge, you combine with some chakra sensing in order to tell whether you’re are about to bump into anyone, and… that’s it.”

“Oh,” said Sakura, a little disappointed. “It seemed cooler before. Does this mean that no one can use it outside of familiar territory?”

“Pretty much,” said Kakashi. “Unless your name is Uchiha Shisui.”

Sakura blinked, not understanding the comment, but unwilling to get off topic. “So, will you teach me?”

“I’ll agree to it once you are capable of sensing me before I appear in the mornings,” Kakashi decided. “And that goes for you two as well,” he added, talking to what appeared to be bushes. It was only when Naruto and Sasuke stepped out of them that Sakura realized that they were not, in fact, bushes.

“See what sensing is good for?”

“How does one even do it?” Naruto shouted. “I wanna learn that shinshin thing as well!”

“Shunshin, idiot,” Sasuke corrected. “And count me in, Kakashi.”

“Ah, well, don’t you guys prefer to learn the jutsu I taught Sakura yesterday? It allows you to measure distances.”

“That’s what it does?” Naruto exclaimed. “Pffft! Lame.”

“What was that?” Sakura shouted.

“Ahhhh, I didn’t mean you, Sakura-chan!”

“Well it sure sounded like it!”

They bickered until Sasuke interfered by asking Kakashi how to sense chakra. Sakura, naturally, immediately forgot about Naruto and tuned in.

“Well,” said Kakashi. “Sensing is tricky.”

“So…?”

“So you’ll have to do some soul searching to learn.”

It was all three of them, in that moment, that joined in glaring at the man like he was the devil incarnate.

“ _LIAR!_ ”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So? How was it?


	5. Bad News

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kakashi smells a crow, pesters the hokage, and reads his book. Meanwhile, team ten makes an appearance... and Itachi receives bad news.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello there! Normally, I'd post this later (like, on the eighteenth), but the quarantine is boring, what can I say. So here you go. Extra large 14k chapter for you guys.  
> Reviews are my fuel, so please leave a comment if you like it :)
> 
> PS. The picture at the end is a weird piece of foreshadowing. Please don't make fun of it. Anyway. Merry reading!

“Ne, Sakura-chan, what are you doing? Sakura-chaaaaan.”

It was the fifteenth time Naruto had asked the question. He, Sakura and Sasuke were waiting for Kakashi already at the training ground, a new habit which had started since the day he had introduced team seven to nature transformations. In the three days that had passed since then, they had all tried to sense Kakashi’s presence with various degrees of success. The majority of the attempts had involved throwing kunai at unsuspecting rabbits – courtesy of Naruto – or hiding explosion tags and other miscellaneous traps around the area – courtesy of Sasuke. After the fifth rabbit had bitten Naruto, and an explosion had gone off that felled a giant tree and nearly killed Sakura, both Naruto and Sasuke had lost interest in the seemingly pointless pursuit, opting to use the time they spent waiting to hone their newest nature chakra skills instead.

“Can’t you tell, Naruto?” answered Sakura in a rather inexpressive voice. “I’m practicing my sensing.”

Naruto gave her an odd look. “ _Really?_ ” he asked skeptically.

“Really,” affirmed Sakura blandly, and then proceeded to ignore him.

It wasn’t long until Naruto had returned to trying to cut a leaf with his chakra. Sasuke was also busy practicing with his nature chakra, though Sakura had been feeling a little tongue-tied around him lately, so she hadn’t asked exactly what he was doing. Not to mention, the topic of chakra natures was still a sore one for her. Unlike her teammates, Sakura had had no choice but to focus solely on sensing… but there was no point in feeling sorry for herself. She was done with that. Instead, Sakura had promised herself she’d make the best of what she had. And thinking this, she’d taken the paper ninja approach and sat down for a long while in her room and thought the whole sensing thing over.

In the case of water-walking, Sakura had mastered the skill as soon as she’d understood how it worked. It wasn’t like that for other people, apparently, but to Sakura, grasping the involvement of surface-tension in relation to body weight and water currents had made all the difference. So if she could understand the logic behind sensing, Sakura figured, she could master it.

Turns out, water-walking didn’t hold a candle to sensing in terms of complexity. As much as she thought it over, Sakura just couldn’t understand it. Sensing, the sixth sense which all elite ninja seemed to have, the sixth sense which allowed them to perceive chakra… it was a very useful skill, that much was clear, but how did it work? Was there some sort of organ in charge of it? She knew there were some visual dojutsu, such as the sharingan and the byakugan, which permitted the user to _see_ chakra; yet sensing was another matter entirely.

Sakura wished there was someone she could ask all her questions, but Kakashi had made it clear that sensing was something his students would have to figure out themselves …and Sakura didn’t know any other elite ninja. She wasn’t like most of the other children in her Academy class, who could just ask their parents and get more than just answers. It wasn’t like she could just go to a library and look it up either: information was the currency of the shinobi world, and, unless they were from a clan, a genin, or even a chunin, had little to no hopes of getting their hands on it. Naturally, Sakura was a first generation shinobi, which was a fancy euphemism for ‘clanless’, or in other words: she was doomed.

Back at the Academy, she had taken to say that she was from the Haruno clan, almost as though the name had meant something. And to an extent, it did. Because, to children, a clan was just that: a cool name used for introductions, and it really couldn’t compare to how many of those exclusive, super cool marbles one had. Yes. Back then, it had all been simpler.

But that was in the past, because unfortunately, as much as present Sakura might sing the praises of the Haruno clan, she knew that no doors would open for her. At thirteen years old, she was now a genin, an adult in the eyes of the law, and no fib would help her. So she was stuck having to figure out chakra sensing by herself. She had no idea through were she was supposed to sense in the first place, but she would try anyway.

Initially, Sakura had theorized that, as all beings had chakra, it may be a good idea to focus on sensing other things first, such as plants and animals, before attempting to track down a seasoned jonin. So Sakura had gotten right on that, starting with an ant colony. The tiny ants were making their way up a tree and Sakura had swiftly become their most dedicated follower (which probably explained Naruto’s baffled questioning). It was the very tree the blonde had once gotten stuck dangling from, courtesy of Kakashi, and now Sakura was scaling it with her chakra to follow the ants’ progress – though Naruto seemed to think that she was rigging some sort of snare to get back at Kakashi for trapping him. Naruto had even offered to help her avenge him, even though Sakura kept assuring him that she was not trying to trap an elite jonin with a simple snare, she was not delusional, thank you. Unfortunately, Naruto seemed to think that if Kakashi had fallen for one of his pranks (exibit one: the chalkboard eraser he’d dropped on the man’s head) he’d fall for anything.

The blonde pestering Sakura to prank Kakashi as Sakura crawled up a tree and shot the occasional lovesick glance at Sasuke had become their newest routine.

On the first day of this, Sakura hadn’t made all that much progress with the whole chakra sensing thing, though she had learned a hell of a lot more than she’d ever wanted to about ants. Needless to say, when Kakashi had arrived at the training ground later on, Sakura had gladly moved on to practicing the chiheisen, and later on, air walking with Stalker-san.

By mid-morning on her second day of sensing practice, she felt a little like she was… well, almost _aware_ of the ants puttering about beneath the bark of the tree… but she wasn’t sure whether she was imagining their presence or if it was real.

And now, on her third day, Sakura was almost sure that she either could sense the ants beneath the bark… or she was going crazy. Hopefully it was the former. Earlier, she had gotten a similar feeling – like there was something in one of the tree’s branches – but upon checking, she’d seen nothing. _Perhaps_ , Sakura thought hopefully, _I managed to sense a squirrel. Or Kakashi-sensei! Wouldn’t that be cool?_ Though… maybe she was getting a little ahead of herself.

The hardest thing about sensing, Sakura found, was the absolute concentration required for it to work. It was a little like the meditation exercises back at the Academy, Sakura thought. Those same exercises she’d usually spent giggling away with Ino rather than working. It hadn’t been until Sakura’s last year there, when there no longer had been an Ino to giggle with, that Sakura had truly begun to try to meditate. She wasn’t half bad at it , if she did say so herself. Though thoughts of Sasuke-kun and Ino-pig had usually ended up distracting her at one point or the other. But still. Many of her classmates had never even attempted to do it properly. In fact, she was almost certain that Naruto wouldn’t have been able to meditate to save his life–

_Whoops…_

Saskura’s mental alarm-clock (a useful habit for breaking Kakashi’s genjutsu) reminded her right then that she’d been spacing out, and so, suppressing a sigh, she returned her attention to the ant colony.

At first, she’d been bored by them, but now that Sakura could sort of, kinda, maybe tell what they were up to beneath the bark, the nerd in her was starting to stir. In her time observing them, Sakura had learned that there were apparently different types of ants, almost like they had jobs and everything. And wasn’t that a strange thought? She found their hive-like mind fascinating. From what she’d seen, if there was a shortage in a particular type of ant, some of the other ants would quit their previous jobs and kind of become warriors, or collectors, or anything really, instead. She knew better than to tell anyone about her strange fascination though. Sakura did not want to be branded a second Shino. No offense to him, but she had a reputation to uphold.

Reputation… what a strange concept, if she thought about it. As a child, a lot of kids had taken ‘Sakura of the mighty Haruno’ at face value, especially seeing as she was _Yamanaka_ Ino’s best friend. She’d had a good reputation by proxy – and she’d taken it for granted.

It wasn’t until Sakura’s falling-out with Ino that she’d truly began to appreciate what she’d lost. As a preteen, others’ opinions about her had suddenly started to matter a lot more… and the fact that all of her previous friends had picked Ino over her had mattered too. Sakura’s way to cope had been to tell herself over and over that only Sasuke’s opinion was important.

After that had come the rumor that a year’s top kunoichi got paired on the same team with the rookie of the year… meaning, whoever made it to top kunoichi would get to be on Sasuke-kun’s team. Sakura had even snuck into the teacher’s lounge during break and riffled through the files… and indeed, there had been such a pattern. This came paired with the realization that Sakura herself was one of the lowest-ranking kunoichi in the class tally. Her chances of making it to number one in a year had been slim to none…

It had been a rude wake-up call.

And it was then that Sakura had truly begun to realize just how much of an advantage clan kids had over her. There was only one thing in her life that had been more embarrassing than confusing poor Stalker-san with a woman, and that had been asking some snotty eight-year-old clan kids for help with her taijutsu. Yes, Sakura had actually done that. She’d gotten stuck doing the brats’ homework as payment, as well as enduring their teasing and snide comments… and all that, just because she had been in desperate need of remedials. Things were a lot harder when she couldn’t ask Ino for help anymore.

Unfortunately, there was only so much the eight-year-olds could teach Sakura. In terms of combat ability, Ino had clearly been light years away from her. She was more flexible, more skilled, more muscly, knew a lot of secret clan forms that weren’t taught in the academy, and on and on the list went.

Everyone had known this, but Ino had made a point to rub it in whenever Sakura lost a spar anyway. However, there was one thing the blonde Yamanaka had underestimated about her: and that was a lonely fangirl’s determination.

In her social isolation, Sakura’s obsession with making it to Sasuke-kun’s team had grown and grown into a raging inferno, a fierce determination which had her improving at an abnormal rate, slowly but surely climbing ranks in the Academy tally. It had been a trial of love, to be sure. But Sakura was also working so hard because she couldn’t lose to Ino. The need to prove her own worth had suddenly become all-encompassing. It had been a drive to prove herself to all of her former friends who’d abandoned her for Ino… to prove that they’d been wrong. Sakura just had to do it, no questions asked. She’d become focused but sad. Sakura’s bubbly personality had disappeared along with her friends, and all that had been left was the girl that had wanted to win at any cost.

By winter break, she’d left her fellow civilians’ kids in the dust. It was around then that Ino had noticed that she was closing in on the clan children at an alarming rate, and the blonde had taken it as a personal challenge. Where Sakura had upped her taijutsu practice, Ino had hit the books with a vengenace and begun to score higher in exams. However, no one could compete with Sakura when it came to academics. She’d started to work with renewed vigor on extra-credit assignments and began to study late into the night, acing test after test.

It was with no small amount of surprise that Ino, who was still popular and busy maintaining her copious friendships, realized the dangers of a lonely Sakura, who had much more time to practice the Academy jutsu.

Due to this, to all of the teachers’ collective astonishment, Ino and Sakura had been completely tied for first place in terms of ninjutsu scores – this had become apparent even before the actual test. Naturally, Sakura had come out on top in the academical aspect of the course, having aced it, but with Ino close on her heels, she knew that the title of kunoichi of the year would be decided through the taijutsu test… which was Sakura’s absolute worst skill. After sneaking into the teacher’s lounge (where, to her chagrin, she’d met Ino, who had had the same idea) both girls had realized that, for Sakura to make it to kunoichi of the year, she’d need to place second during the final taijutsu exam, which consisted in a number of scored spars among the future kunoichi.

There had been just one problem: in Sakura’s year group, there were _two_ clan heiresses – Hyuga Hinata and Ino herself – and that was one too many. Because Sakura needed to be second if she wanted to _ever_ get noticed by Sasuke-kun. She needed to be second if she wanted to beat Ino. She just had to be. It was all she’d lived and breathed for during an entire year. But she wasn’t delusional. Her taijutsu may have improved thanks to those eight-year-olds, but she had known that she wouldn’t stand a chance in an actual spar against Hyuga Hinata, never mind Ino.

But this late in the game, losing wasn’t an option. Not when the sorry remnants of Sakura’s reputation – of her bloody self worth, or was it bloodied? – were at stake. Sakura had been desperate. She couldn’t lose to Ino.

So she had done the only thing she could do and bet it all on winning the spar against Hinata – in the worst way possible: by cheating. She had used the formal bow at the beginning of the spar to crouch low and throw sand into the poor girl’s sensible eyes, which just so happened to be Hinata’s greatest weapon. And while Hinata was rubbing at them, Sakura had struck, and Sakura had won.

She had won.

She had won at the cost of the very reputation she’d been trying to protect.

She had played dirty, resorted to the cheapest tricks, taken advantage of Hinata’s naive nature… and everyone had seen it, and everyone had judged her. S ~~he’d cried herself to sleep that night.~~

But Sakura had placed second, and she had won; she was in Sasuke’s team – she had shown Ino. Since then, she could barely stomach practicing her taijutsu. Since then, Sakura had stopped training and lost the muscle she’d managed to gain, which hadn’t been all that much in the first place… aaaand she was getting sidetracked again.

Meanwhile, in another part of the village, Ino, Shikamaru and Choji were waiting for their own jonin sensei to appear on top of their usual hill close to the Nara compound. He was late – by a lot.

“Ugh, can you believe this?” exclaimed Ino as she stomped her feet. “If Asuma-sensei keeps this up, he’s going to be even worse than Forehead’s sorry excuse of a teacher!”

“You mean Hatake Kakashi?” asked one of her teammates, who was currently munching on a pack of chips.

“Who else, Choji?” said Ino with annoyance. “Of course I mean him! Ha. Complete oddball, if you ask me. He has such a bad reputation that no good looks he may have even matter!”

“I thought he was one of the most powerful ninja in our village?” asked Shikamaru drolly – Ino’s other teammate, as well as the laziest kid around.

“I’m not talking about _that_ kind of reputation,” she replied with annoyance.

“Then what?”

Ino bristled. “Maybe the fact that he reads porn at all hours of the day, is late to everything, and sasses at everyone like he’s some entitled hotshot!”

“Right…” said Choji, but Ino was already on a roll.

“I mean, fine, I’ll admit, he has some nice pecs (from what I have been able to see) but unfortunately, he insists on concealing three quarters of his face and wearing all baggy, monotonous attires, so it’s not like I can tell either!” Ino shouted.

“Ah… right,” said Shikamaru.

Choji opened a new bag of chips. “I didn’t know you were ranking the jonin based on their physical appearance.” He sounded put off by it.

 _Ah, poor muffin,_ thought Ino. He was feeling self-conscious!

“Don’t worry, Choji,” she reassured. “I’m not ranking you or anyone else. Just Sakura and anything related to her ugly mug. _And_ ,” Ino sniffed, “I’ve got to say, she’s pulled the short end of the stick in the sensei department. I wouldn’t wish Hatake Kakashi upon anyone.”

“I suppose then it’s extremely unlucky that I’m here,” said a new voice.

The three genin turned all at once, and were met, to Ino’s unending mortification, with Kakashi Hatake himself, who was reading an orange book even as he balanced precariously on the water deposit on top of the hill.

“You’ve got to be kidding me!” Ino yelled shrilly, to which Shikamaru covered his ears and mumbled something about the situation being a drag.

As usual, Choji was the only one who kept his cool. “Uh, Kakashi-sensei, right?”

“That’s right,” said Kakashi with a happy eye-crinkle, which Ino assumed must be the only way the man could express a smile. Weirdo.

“You can go back to Forehead,” she told him petulantly. “We want Asuma-sensei or no one.”

“Too bad that he asked me to watch you kids for today then,” Kakashi countered, wholly unbothered by her tone. _Oh shit_ , Ino could tell immediately… _he was good._ Where Asuma usually acted tired at her antics, slowly but surely allowing Ino inch after inch in whatever it was she was arguing about, Kakashi projected an aura of absolute indifference – almost in a zen kind of way. Even if he _was_ reading porn.

“So,” the man in question commented flippantly, still not having looked up from his book. “Asuma said you should be learning how to tree-walk.”

They all stared at him expectantly, but he didn’t elaborate.

“Well?” snapped Ino. “Aren’t you going to teach us?”

Kakashi looked up for the first time, blinking in surprise. “Ah,” he said. “Sure.” He then proceeded to waltz up the water deposit and, once at the top, waved cheekily.

“That’s nice…” said Choji uncertainly, “but could you maybe give us an explanation?”

“Maa, just place some chakra on the soles of your feet,” Kakashi said. “That’s it.” This said, he lied down upon the water-deposit and reopened his book. He then ignored them for the next half an hour, after which team ten had largely given up on the exercise. Shikamaru had followed Kakashi’s example and laid down to nap, while Choji had decided that no time was as good as the present for having a feast. Meanwhile, Ino was fuming as she muttered to herself angrily, dissing Kakashi in her monologue.

“I’d say he was sunbathing – sunbathing, of all things – but it’s not like there’d be much of a point to do that in his case! Freaking ew. The only skin he’s showing is his right eye and half of his fingers…!” After a while of such enraged muttering, Ino had moved on to insulting her rival, claiming that _she_ should’ve been in Sasuke’s team instead of Sakura. It wasn’t anything Shikamaru and Choji hadn’t heard before.

“Between Forehead and I, clearly I am the superior fighter!” Ino ranted at Choji, who mused that perhaps she was attempting to inadvertently tarnish Kakashi’s opinion of Sakura. Or perhaps Ino was just being Ino and venting. “Sakura even cheated in the final spars!” the blonde was complaining. “She played dirty against Hinata – it’s not like she won out of skill. _I_ could take her in a fight any day! Forehead didn’t deserve the spot of kunoichi of the year! It should’ve gone to _me_!”

Up on his perch on the water deposit, Kakashi was listening with some interest to Yamanaka Ino’s claims. It was news to him that Sakura had graduated as kunoichi of the year. Back when he’d first taken on team seven, he’d opened her file, seen that she wasn’t from a clan (thank god, he had enough of clans for a lifetime) and, satisfied for the reprieve, closed said file and proceeded to entirely forget about the matter next second. But now his negligence was coming back to bite him… And hang on, weren’t Yamanaka Ino and Hyuga Hinata in Sakura’s year as well? How on earth had Sakura made kunoichi of the year? He concluded that the level of the Academy must’ve truly sunk low in the past few years. Even so, it was something worth digging into.

Kakashi’s curiosity was also somewhat picked by Ino Yamanaka’s claims of Sakura’s alleged ‘cheating’ during the sparring portion of the Academy’s final exams. He truly hadn’t pegged Sakura as the type, even if, in his book, any trick in the book was fair. However, the only thing that had interested him out of the whole situation was Yamanaka Ino’s evident rivalry with Sakura. After all, Naruto’s rivalry with Sasuke had done wonders for the blonde’s improvement, and Kakashi wondered idly whether he could achieve similar results in his female student if he brought the Yamanaka into the equation.

It truly hadn’t been his intention to do anything other than reading on top of the water deposit until the morning was over… but he’d changed his mind.

Kakashi gave himself a push and landed in front of Asuma’s team. The only one who’d noticed him was the Akimichi, seeing as the blonde was busy redoing her manicure while angrily muttering to herself. The Nara, predictably, was asleep.

For a few seconds, Choji and Kakashi eyed one another, even as the former contently munched on his chips.

“Uhh… Kakashi-sensei?” Choji broke the silence.

At this, Ino looked up, spotting him also, and then elbowed Shikamaru until he was awake.

“Why don’t you come with me?” Kakashi told them cryptically, and started to walk toward the usual training ground without waiting to see if they followed.

“Wait!” Ino shouted, running to catch up. “Where are we going?”

“To pay a visit to my team, naturally.”

“Huh?”

 _And you better deliver and put Sakura through her paces_ , Kakashi added mentally. The Ino-shika-cho formation was famous for their good teamwork, so perhaps Sasuke and Naruto could also learn something from them in that area. Though, if he was honest, Kakashi hadn’t seen a lot of team spirit in Asuma’s students for the moment.

“Visiting your team?” Choji prodded. “You mean team seven? Why?”

Kakashi hummed. “You see, my cute little students are practicing their sensing skills, so why don’t you use your infiltration and capture tactics to try and sneak up on them? Just an idea.”

“Try?” huffed Ino. “Hah. Once we’re done with Sakura’s team, they won’t know what hit them.”

“They have Sasuke, Ino,” reminded Shikamaru with a sigh.

“So what? we have some serious stealth training under our belts.”

Shikamaru rolled his eyes but didn’t complain.

When team ten finally made it to the training ground, they found, with no small amount of surprise, each member of team seven in deep concentration… even Naruto. From a shaded hiding place, Ino, Shikamaru and Choji watched, gaping, as the members of team seven trained. Kakashi surveyed the situation and wondered whether they’d be spotted or not.

“Wait, where’s Sakura?” Ino whispered. Naruto and Sasuke were both in the middle of the training ground, each boy off doing his own thing, yet glancing at the other’s progress every once in a while.

“Look, she’s over there,” replied Choji. To their collective astonishment, Sakura was standing ramrod straight upside-down on a tree, her back turned to them.

 _She can tree-walk already?_ thought Ino with some shock. And that, after the sad excuse of an explanation Kakashi had given team ten on tree walking?

Up on her tree, Sakura’s sixth sense for genjutsu suddenly went off, though the feeling was slightly different. Almost like the time she’d thought to have sensed a squirrel… only stronger. The back of her neck was prickling. And so, Sakura turned around and scrutinized the trees where she’d felt it.

Down bellow, Ino, Shikamaru and Choji had frozen on the spot.

“She’s looking straight at us!” Ino whispered with shock. Shikamaru had used a clan technique to darken the shadows around them, making them effectively invisible in their position… and yet Sakura had suddenly turned around and stared _straight at them –_ was still staring.

K akashi, meanwhile, was pleased.

“Yo, everyone,” he greeted the training ground at large, choosing that exact moment to break team ten’s cover. With these words, he waltzed into the training ground, team ten trailing behind him, and now even Sasuke and Naruto were looking at them.

“Oi, Kakashi. What are _they_ doing here?” Sasuke asked.

“Yeah, _we’re_ your students, not those guys, believe it!” Naruto rejoined, just as Sakura descended from her tree and joined her teammates on the ground. She had just been thinking about Ino, and now, seemingly out of thin air, the devil herself had appeared. Sakura looked at the blonde with dismay. She wasn’t ready yet to fight her yet. The notion that her former best friend was untouchable wouldn’t leave Sakura alone. She needed to get stronger, train more, much more, before she could proudly face Ino.

Ino, meanwhile, gave her former best friend a resentful look, one which Sakura returned in equal measure. The stare off was of course cataloged by a very much approving Kakashi.

“Good morning, everyone,” his signature drawl interrupted their stare down. “I thought we could do a little exercise and see whose teamwork is better. What do you think?”

Both Sasuke and Naruto bristled.

“Tch,” was Sasuke’s eloquent objection.

Naruto put his unspoken words into spoken ones: “Our team is the best, believe it!”

“He said team _work_ ,” Sakura emphasized, feeling embarrassed. What if they lost? Hadn’t he considered that?

“But Sakura-chan…”

“No buts, Naruto!”

Meanwhile, Ino had observed the exchange with a quirked eyebrow. And wasn’t it strange, she thought. Since when did Forehead call the classclown by his name? When had he stopped being ‘idiot’ and turned into Naruto?

“Well guys,” Kakashi concluded. “Since you’re also so agreeable, we’ll do the teamwork exercise.”

He was greeted by unenthusiastic silence. Naruto and Sasuke had begun to glare at one another, in a ‘don’t get in my way’ sort of fashion, while Sakura had started to fidget in place. Clearly, Ino surmised, Sakura could tell that she was about to lose.

“What a drag,” Shikamaru murmured next to her. He obviously wasn’t excited about a prospective face-off against team seven. On her other side, Choji had stopped shoveling chips into his mouth, which Ino knew meant he was preparing for a fight, but he didn’t seem very enthusiastic either.

“So what’s the exercise, Sensei?” Sakura then asked in a know-it-all voice, the one which made Ino want to punch her. It was a stilted tone, a tone Sakura often used when she was under pressure… which meant it had become her default for when she was near Ino. And it annoyed her to no end.

The shift in tonality hadn’t escaped Kakashi either, but, unlike the blonde, he was pleased by Sakura’s averse reaction. “Maa…” he pondered out loud. “How about a variation of the bell test?”

“The bell test?” Shikamaru repeated, his interest picked. Upon his teammates’ questioning looks, he explained: “I’ve heard my dad talk about it.”

Ah. Shikaku had talked about his bell test? Kakashi smiled. Interesting.

“All good things, I hope?”

Shikamaru gave him an odd look. “More like ‘one hell of a drag’ kind of things.”

“Tell him I say thank you.”

“Right.”

“Anyway,” Kakashi continued, digging in his pockets until he had four strips of cloth. He handed two of them to Sasuke and two to Choji. “Each team has two of these,” he began to explain without preamble. “One per teammate – that means one of you won’t have a bell.”

“Sensei, this is a torn cloth,” Sakura interrupted.

“Ma, we can pretend they’re bells, ne? I left the real ones at my flat.”

They all stared at him blankly.

“Okay, so we have two ‘bells’ in each team,” Ino interrupted. “Now what?”

“There’s just one rule:” Kakashi asserted. “Whoever gets a bell has to keep it on their person at all times. The exercise ends when one team has obtained all of the other team’s bells. You have three minutes to chose a strategy. Go.”

And off they went. Kakashi chuckled as he watched the six children loudly scamper through the underbrush, all the while hissing at one another to be quiet and “don’t tell me what to do, Sasuke!” followed by “shut up, Naruto” and “sorry, Sakura-chan!”. His genin were so cute. He would have to check on them to see if their teamwork had improved at all. When he found the three kids, they were crouched in a circle.

“Alright,” Sakura was whispering importantly. “I think we should decide who gets the bells and then we can talk strategy.”

So far so good. There was a brief silence.

“I think I should get a bell, believe it,” was Naruto’s opening statement.

“An idiot like you?” had been Sasuke’s immediate response… and the situation went downhill from there. Two minutes later and the boys were still arguing, having basically wasted their precious three minutes by fighting, rather than coming up with any kind of strategy. Kakashi bit back a sigh as he watched the two boys argue back and forth about the alleged incompetence of the other, with Sakura watching on from the sidelines, looking frustrated and shy all at once. Kakashi figured that, for team seven’s dynamic to ever work, either Sakura would eventually have to work up the courage to get the boys in line when needed, or the two would have to grow out of their idiocy. He didn’t see either option happening any time soon and wondered idly what he should do about it, if anything at all. Without another glance in their direction, Kakashi left them to it and set to tracking down Asuma’s team.

Meanwhile, his genin had kept arguing on and on, until finally, when twenty seconds were left, Sasuke had given Sakura the remaining bell, much to Naruto’s outrage. However, Sakura was left with the impression that Sasuke hadn’t given her the bell out of any respect for her skills, but rather to one-up Naruto. And the thought stung even more when Sakura realized that… Naruto would probably do a better job at keeping the bells safe than Sakura ever could. He had more stamina, was better at taijutsu, and could already use the shadow clone jutsu. Meanwhile, Sakura… what could she even do? Ino would pulverize her, she was sure.

And it was this thought that helped Sakura make her decision.

“Hey, Naruto, c’mere.” She beckoned the blond over as Sasuke was busy concealing his ‘bell’ in his weapons pouch, taking advantage of Sasuke’s inattention.

“Sakura-chan?” asked Naruto uncertainly.

Sakura impatiently gestured for him to get closer.

“S-sakura-chan?” Naruto repeated again, his face starting to resemble a ripe tomato, even as he stepped closer. Sakura regarded him critically, wondering how she was going to do what she wanted to. Pulling a tissue out of her backpack, she stepped closer to Naruto and pretended to remove an eyelash from his cheek. Once done, she stepped back and pocketed the tissue.

“Sakura-chan, what was that?” Naruto stuttered. Even Sasuke was looking at them curiously, just as Kakashi’s far off ‘time’s up’ call resounded through the training ground.

“You had an eyelash on your cheek,” Sakura told him matter-of-factly.

“Ah, uhh, thanks, Sakura-chan!” Naruto was still red in the face and was probably entertaining some sort of perverted fantasy, Sakura could tell. And it annoyed her, yes, but she was also proud that her deception had gone unnoticed. Because, while Naruto had been busy blushing, Sakura had taken advantage of his distraction and stuffed her ‘bell’ in his pants’ pocket. He would do a better job of keeping it – Sakura knew, just as she knew that she couldn’t let Ino’s team win. So she’d done the reasonable and given the bell to Naruto, who deserved it more. She had done so without him noticing, however, because Naruto was as subtle as an imploding bomb and would most likely reveal that he had one of the bells if he knew. And she may not be a very good fighter, but Sakura certainly could give her teammate the bell while misleading team ten into believing _she_ had it. Still, she realized with some dismay that she, Naruto and Sasuke hadn’t even come up with a basic strategy to face team ten… they hadn’t even determined which match-ups to avoid… shit.

On the other end of the training ground, team ten was being somewhat more productive in the strategy department. They had immediately decided that, as their go-to close combat fighter, Choji was in the most danger of getting captured, so Shikamaru and Ino would be guarding the bells. And the next step, of course, was to determine who on team seven would have their targets.

“Naruto is obviously out of the question,” Ino was saying.

Shikamaru nodded. “He’s the dead-last and less subtle than a toddler. If for some miracle he does get one of the bells, we’ll be the first to know.”

“Yeah,” Choji agreed. “Sasuke was rookie of the year, and… as much as it may or may not be deserved,” he added with a side-glance at Ino, “Sakura graduated as the top kunoichi. So it’s obvious that they’ll be the ones with the bells.”

Shikamaru nodded. “The hardest part will be getting Sasuke’s bell. But if we plan this right, we may be able to surprise him.” He glanced around. “But I’m going to need your help for this.”

And so the planning began.

Three minutes later, both teams had reconvened at the center of the training ground, with Kakashi as their judge.

“Everyone ready?” asked the jonin.

“Sure am,” said Ino as she flipped her hair, smirking at an uncertain-looking Sakura.

“I was BORN ready, believe it!”

“Hn. Let’s get this over with.”

“What a drag…”

The only ones who didn’t say anything were Choji and Sakura, noted Kakashi with some interest. He knew of Sakura’s self-esteem problems. Could the Akimichi have similar ones?

“Maaa… then begin!”

And both teams jumped into action.

“Sakura, hide!” Sasuke commanded immediately. And loudly. Clearly, mused Kakashi, his student’s understanding of team strategy was somewhat different from Kakashi’s own. To Kakashi’s annoyance, Sakura immediately scurried off to do as he’d told her. If she had a bell, which was almost certain considering Sasuke’s instructions, then hiding wasn’t a bad strategy, per se… but Kakashi had intended for her to fight Ino, not play hide and seek.

Ino, on her part, had taken Naruto on in a spar. Kakashi figured that her mind possession jutsu was a bad match-up for Naruto’s clones. Still, Ino’s taijutsu technique was good, the famous Yamanaka forms and flexibility shining through her style, Naruto’s haphazard punches and kicks looking uncouth in comparison… especially as he was clearly holding back on account of his opponent being a girl. Kakashi once again felt the urge to sigh. It was a pity, seeing as, in terms of stamina, the Yamanaka heiress was so far behind Naruto that it was laughable. Kakashi imagined that she probably practiced her forms at home due to obligation but ignored all types of training which her parents didn’t force her into. Such as stamina training. The Academy truly wasn’t what it had used to be. But then again, Kakashi had attended during the war.

A loud exclamation had him tearing his eyes from Naruto and Ino’s spar. Sasuke, he noticed with some surprise, had been caught in Shikamaru’s shadow possession jutsu. Glancing around, Kakashi immediately understood how it had happened. Choji and Shikamaru’s approach to the spar had clearly been more tactical than Sasuke was used to. They’d taken advantage of his overconfidence to lead him into an area with a lot of trees, and hence, many shadows. The abundance of trees would’ve made Choji appear weaker due to his own jutsu’s inadequacy for many obstacles, which was probably Shikamaru’s intention all along. Sasuke must’ve taken the bait, and Shikamaru hadn’t waited twice before striking with his shadows.

Kakashi sighed. The Nara’s victory shouldn’t have surprised him, in hindsight. His intellect was well known among those who worked under his father. As he was thinking this, Choji and Shikamaru had retrieved Sasuke’s bell from his pouch and began to tie him up. All Sasuke could do in the meantime was glare, even as Shikamaru smirked down at him.

“How’s it feel losing to the losers, huh, Sasuke?”

Sasuke had glared some more, but Shikamaru’s smile remained unrepentant.

“Only Forehead left,” Naruto suddenly piped up, having appeared behind them.

Sasuke’s eyes widened , betrayed, as Naruto smirked cheekily and winked. “Mind control – complete.”

Kakashi could’ve facepalmed. Evidently, the real Naruto had underestimated Ino, refusing to pit his shadow clones against a girl, and had paid a steep price for it… namely, having his body stolen.

“Tie me up quickly, guys, so that I can return to my body!” the possessed Naruto then added, bossily and soon enough, the remaining members of team ten moved to do just that. A few minutes later, Sasuke and Naruto (who had come back to his senses) were sprawled on the floor, along with their pride, as team ten left to look for Sakura. Shikamaru instructed Ino to watch their prisoners while he and Choji went to look for Sakura, but unfortunately, Ino had other plans and left to look for Sakura herself.

And that was team ten’s mistake.

(“Tch, Sasuke. Can you free us?”

“Of course I can, idiot,” Sasuke had scoffed. “Now shut up so I can concentrate.”)

Ten minutes later saw Sasuke and Naruto charging against Choji and Shikamaru to get their revenge, while in another part of the training ground, Ino had finally managed to track down Sakura and they began to fight. Kakashi, being the awesome sensei that he was, made two shadow clones, one to survey each fight, and then returned to reading his book.

As it turned out, Sakura had used her extra time to rig some traps against Ino and was attempting to use them to her advantage. Unfortunately, they were all rather basic Academy-level traps, but still seemed to be effective in stalling Ino. The cloned Kakashi eyed the panting Yamanaka with some interest. Sakura’s traps were doing a good job at keeping her on her toes. If Kakashi had to guess, he’d say Sakura had a slight edge in the fight. Her stamina was slightly superior to Ino’s thanks to all the dog-chasing she’d been doing lately, she could tree walk, and last but not least, Sakura had had time to prepare traps. Ino, however, was already tired from fighting Naruto. Even so, she’d turned out to be a fierce opponent. Kakashi was almost startled at the blondes’ sudden fervor. He had guessed at the rivalry the two girl’s had, but he hadn’t imagined they’d take it that seriously.

Unfortunately, the tides turned as the spar wore on – in favor of Ino.

Sakura was putting up a brave fight, Kakashi had to say, but the sheer gap in the girls’ taijutsu skills was simply insurmountable, and Ino wasn’t pulling any punches. He was glad to see that neither was Sakura… but even so, it was becoming clear that she would lose.

His suspicion was confirmed when Ino finally tackled Sakura to the ground and performed the mind control jutsu – at the exact same time at which, on the other end of the training ground, Sasuke and Naruto beat Choji and Shikamaru with a combination of shadow clones and fireballs.

Smirking, Sasuke reached into Shikamaru’s weapons pouch and produced two bells, his own and Shikamaru’s. “I suppose I don’t know how to lose,” he said with a smirk that mirrored Shikamaru’s previous one.

“You guys may have two bells now,” Choji defended his friend. “But if Ino beats Sakura…”

“We’ll be at an impasse,” finished Shikamaru, his eyes narrowing.

“No _way_ will that harpy win against Sakura-chan!” Naruto countered.

And yet, it was with no small amount of expectancy that all four of them looked over at Sakura and Ino. Ino was passed out on the ground, still half tackling Sakura, and bellow her, Sakura herself was clutching her head as though in immense pain. Or in other words, Ino was attempting a possession and Sakura was resisting.

“Sakura-chan!” Naruto shouted. “Don’t let her get in your head!”

Why none of the boys was interfering was beyond Kakashi – or the Kakashi clone who had been watching the boys fight, anyway. They were all staring at the two girls, standing there and not doing anything. He imagined that Shikamaru and Choji might not be interfering because they knew that the proud Yamanaka would take it as an insult. Likewise, Naruto didn’t want to hit a girl. However, Kakashi didn’t think that Sasuke would have such compunctions, so he was curious as to why the Uchiha would stay back. Was he confident that Sakura would win? Or did he simply intend to bide his time?

The real Kakashi, who had been reading his book and was clueless as to what had transpired, closed Icha Icha and eyed the two girls warily. He hadn’t seen someone resist possession in a long while. And, while Ino may be inexperienced, he already knew from her fight against Naruto that she was perfectly capable of a regular possession. It was then that Sakura suddenly jerked, shrieked, and pushed Ino’s passed out form off of her.

“I won’t lose to you, Ino-pig!” Sakura yelled.

Ino, who had just returned back to her own body, shrieked incoherently, grabbed Sakura by her hair, _pulled_ and punched her in the face. Sakura, who had still been slightly out of it from breaking the possession wasn’t fast enough to dodge, and the punch hit full on in her chin. It had clearly been one of the bad ones, too, because she swayed on the spot and passed out.

“NO!” Naruto shouted.

But it was too late: Ino was already digging through Sakura’s weapons pouch with a smirk.

“Looks like you guys won’t beat us after all,” Shikamaru drawled. “Huh.”

Yet Ino kept ruffling and ruffling, her movements increasingly desperate. “Where is it?” she shouted. “Where did Forehead put the bell?”

“What?” Naruto exclaimed.

“It’s not there?” asked Choji.

“No!”

In the midst of the chaos, someone chuckled.

“Heh.”

Everyone turned to stare as Sakura shakily got up. “Did you really think a punch was enough to do me in, Ino pig?” she taunted weakly. Fingers trembling, Sakura lifted a strip of cloth in the air and Ino started at it open-mouthed – it was the blonde’s bell.

“You… damn you, Sakura!” Ino shouted. “You pretended to be out so I wouldn't notice you reaching into my pouch, didn’t you!”

“That’s right, Ino,” said Sakura. “My team wins.”

“No!” shouted Ino. “You cheated, Forehead. The rules were that you had to have your bell on your person at all times, yet it’s not there!”

“My bell?” asked Sakura simply. “No, I don’t think so.” Everyone stared with baited breath as Sakura smiled. “It’s been in Naruto’s pocket this whole time.”

There was a second where everyone stared at her in pure disbelief, even Sasuke and Naruto.

“What?” Naruto shouted.

“That’s impossible,” Sasuke stuttered.

Kakashi, intrigued, jumped down to the field and spoke up. “Alright everyone. You can stop now. If what Sakura says is right, then victory goes to team seven. If not, I’ll assume you’ve cheated, Sakura-chan.”

Team seven stared at him blankly.

“Kakashi,” said Sasuke with a frown. “We gave the bell to Sakura. I was right there. I saw it. Team ten wins.”

Naruto looked equally upset, but began to pat down his pockets nevertheless. Just as he’d reached his left pant pocket, he stopped, a stumped look taking over his features as he retrieved a strip of cloth. It was the remaining bell.

“GAAAH! I can’t believe it!”

Team ten stared at him completely in shock, even as sudden understanding dawned on Sasuke. Smirking, he turned toward Sakura. “You had me fooled.”

Sakura, naturally, blushed and started to fidget. “It wasn’t like I had some master-plan or anything…” she muttered self-consciously. “I just figured Naruto could protect the bell better than me.”

“Sakura-chan!” Naruto shouted excitedly. “You’re the best!” He then tackled her into an entirely unexpected hug, which had Sakura stumbling and falling to the floor even as Naruto babbled his thanks for trusting in him.

Meanwhile, Kakashi had joined team ten in staring at his own team. They painted an odd picture: Sakura flushing and trying to pry Naruto off her, even as the blonde babbled thank yous at her with Sasuke smirking victoriously at them in the background. Kakashi sighed. They were still incapable of working as a team, but they were improving… he hoped.

Next to him, the members of team ten were looking rather sullen. Kakashi, being the petty man that he was, decided to rub it in:

“Maa, you should look underneath the underneath next time.”

Ino gave him a look at that which spelled murder, and even Shikamaru was looking pissed. Even so, none of them dared to contradict him, instead choosing to blame each other.

“Oi, isn’t thinking ahead supposed to be your thing, Shikamaru?” Ino demanded.

“How was I supposed to know she’d sneak a bell to _Naruto_?”

“I can’t believe you let Forehead trick you!”

“She tricked all of us,” Choji piped up. “Please stop it, guys. We’ll see it coming next time.”

“Yeah, calm down, woman,” Shikamaru rejoined.

“I _am_ calm!” Ino shouted in a distinctly agitated voice.

Meanwhile, Kakashi checked the sun, concluded that the morning was over – and thereby his obligation to Asuma’s team.

“You guys did a good job today,” he interrupted their fighting. “Your teamwork is better than my own kids’. But you need to work out more. All of you.” And yet he glanced pointedly at Ino. “When did you say the next stage of the chunin exams was?”

“I don’t know…” Shikamaru complained. “They keep pushing it back.”

“Hmm…” Kakashi pondered this information. Perhaps it was time to pay the hokage another visit. “You guys should go look for your sensei. He’s probably done by now.”

Choji nodded. “Will do, Kakashi-sensei.” He turned towards his teammates, both of which were looking at Sakura, Ino with a challenge in her eyes and Shikamaru with curiosity. “C’mon, guys.”

They both nodded at him, and soon enough, team ten was gone. Kakashi was confused. Was Ino their implicit leader, was it Shikamaru, or was it Choji? He didn’t understand their dynamic whatsoever, but he had come to the conclusion that it worked better than team seven’s. Deciding that he had better things to do, he puffed away, leaving his students behind to their own shenanigans. Better things – such as pestering the hokage.

Said Hokage was in the middle of a top-secret meeting with one Uchiha Itachi. The elders of the Konoha council were seated next to him and Itachi was crouching deferentially on the floor before them as he delivered his report. They had chosen to assemble in one of the unused buildings that belonged to the kage but were rarely used, which is why the sudden noise of someone entering through the corridor window outside the meeting room was rather hard to miss. Seconds later, the door opened – and in stepped Hatake Kakashi.

Hiruzen stared at Kakashi and Kakashi innocently stared back.

“Am I interrupting something?”

“What do you think?” Danzo, seated next to Hiruzen, spat.

Well… it could’ve been worse, thought Hiruzen as he watched the elders and Kakashi trade glares. Thankfully, Itachi-kun had had the foresight to shunshin the hell out before Kakashi poked his nose through the door.

Kakashi, unfortunately, was a lot like a dog in the sense that, if he had a hunch, he wouldn’t let it go until he’d unearthed water bone or mystery had caught his fancy. One way or the other, Hatake Kakashi had ended up catching wind of almost every secret there was to know, whether Hiruzen had intended for it to happen or not. He also had the habit of appearing in Hiruzen’s office through the window every now and then, his ANBU guards notwithstanding, to deliver D-rank mission reports written in haiku. Unfortunately, Hiruzen couldn’t tell Kakashi to stop, because sometimes, those visits happened to actually turn out to be veiled briefings on critical information that Hiruzen would otherwise not have found out. So in the end, he left Kakashi to his own devices, resigned to the man’s spontaneous appearances ever so often.

Today’s particular meeting, however, Hiruzen had not wanted to be interrupted. And with the man’s bad timing, he had (sensibly) feared that Kakashi might see it fit to barge in with Itachi there, thereby unveiling the last secret he wasn’t privy to. As Hiruzen absolutely hadn’t wanted that to happen, he’d arranged for Kakashi to be stuck babysitting two genin teams at once for that morning. He should’ve known that it wouldn’t be enough.

“You’re interrupting a meeting with the council,” he told Kakashi, faux-casually. “Is there something I can help you with, Kakashi?”

“Hmm.”

Kakashi eyed the stiff-looking elders dubiously. And Hiruzen knew that look, damn it. He’d seen it every single time before Kakashi stuck his nose into classified business.

“Kakashi?” he prompted. “Is something the matter?” Best dispel any doubts he had in person, before Kakashi got any ideas and went looking for trouble.

“Uh, permission to speak freely, Hokage-sama?”

“When do you not speak freely?” wondered Hiruzen. “Go on, say whatever it is.”

“I was just thinking,” Kakashi mused, “that it smells an awful lot like a crow in here.”

There was a sudden alarmed silence.

As much as Hiruzen sometimes loved Kakashi’s keen nose, in every sense of the word, some days, like today, he was tempted to curse it to hell and back.

“One of my ROOT agents has taken up a summoning contract with crows,” Danzo supplied helpfully.

“Really?” Kakashi’s tone begged to differ.

“Indeed.”

The worst part of Danzo’s excuse was that it wasn’t even a lie, because, though it hadn’t been common knowledge, Itachi _had_ been a member of Root for a while. It had been Danzo’s way to ensure that he truly was loyal to Konoha and not just his clan. And if there was something Hiruzen knew about Root, it was that there was no coming back from it.

“Ah,” chuckled Kakashi. “But I also happened to notice some suspicious crow activity around my team… was that your… agent, as well?”

Damn the man’s perceptiveness to hell, Hiruzen thought. It was, however, what made him such a great ninja. He also cursed Itachi’s apparent need to stalk his brother via crows. Couldn’t he have contained himself?

“I’m afraid my agent is still figuring out, shall we say, the proper handling of his crow summons,” Danzo parried artfully.

“By spying on my team?”

“Call it surveillance of the kyubi.”

Kakashi was visibly about to retort something biting, probably along the lines of defending the fourth hokage’s sealing work as well as his honor, so Hiruzen decided to interrupt before his subordinates tried to murder each other… again.

“Kakashi, I was wondering what brought you here in the first place?”

“You know,” Kakashi commented. “This and that.” He glanced at the other elders. “I’d hate to interrupt your meeting.”

“Oh, you liar,” cut in Utatane, the female elder in the council. “You mean to tell me that every time you’ve walked in on us wasn’t on purpose?”

“I have no idea what you are talking about.”

Hiruzen sighed. “Kakashi. If you allow me to take a guess – you are here to talk about the chunin exams, aren’t you?”

Kakashi blinked. “Hm.”

Right. Why did he have to be such a man-child? Kakashi had gotten worse after taking on a team, too. Hiruzen was starting to regret pulling him out of ANBU.

“So, Kakashi,” Hiruzen prompted. “I’ve heard that you have a vested interest in Anko proctoring as opposed to Ibiki, yes?”

“Well… it’s more that I have an interest in keeping Ibiki far away from any unsuspecting children.”

“And you deem Anko an appropriate stand-in?” he asked humorously. Kakashi was wise enough not to answer.

“As it happens, we were just discussing that matter,” Danzo cut in, “and have come to the conclusion that neither Anko _nor_ Ibiki are fit for proctoring in light of the current circumstances.” Inwardly, Hiruzen was arching an eyebrow. They had discussed no such thing. “So we have come to the decission,” Danzo continued glibly, “that you, as our most esteemed jonin, are the perfect candidate for this task, Hatake Kakashi.”

Hiruzen shot him a look of alarm, but Danzo merely gazed back calmly, the absolute bastard. Damn him and his silver tongue.

Hiruzen gritted his jaw, dismayed as Kakashi shot him a deeply alarmed look, as though silently begging him to negate Danzo’s statement.

“Ah, come again?”

Hiruzen’s brain, meanwhile, was working a mile a minute. Danzo’s impromptu idea wasn’t so bad, he thought, as proctoring the second stage of the exams would keep Kakashi busy, hopefully far away from Uchiha Itachi and Uchiha Itachi’s business. On the other hand, the very reason why they were having so much trouble choosing the next proctor was _because_ Ibiki had failed too many candidates, to the point of seeming biased and unfair. However, Konoha couldn’t just fully bow to the other nation’s protests either lest they seem weak. It was a very delicate situation. And Kakashi wasn’t exactly known for his delicate teaching methods. He had, after all, only passed a single genin team out of five, and that solely because Hiruzen himself had dropped by in the middle of his insane test (after Kakashi had already failed his prospective team) and demanded, no ordered him, to go back there and pass those kids or else. (Thankfully no one else had found out about his intervention.) So no. Kakashi, despite all his talents, was not the man for the mission. Unfortunately, Danzo had already spoken up in Hiruzen’s name, and if he contradicted him, it would only raise Kakashi’s suspicions about the actual topic of discussion… which had been Itachi.

Hiruzen sighed.

“Kakashi, the council has spoken. You will proctor the second phase of the chunin exams. Whatever test you may think of is fine. Within reason,” he added quickly. “However, there is just one thing.”

Kakashi gulped. “Yes?”

“Every single candidate must have a chance to pass, no matter how many of them there are.”

“Wait,” said Kakashi glumly. “So no one-on-one matches?”

“You’ll have to be a little more creative than that, Hatake,” Danzo sneered.

Hiruzen ignored him. “What I’m saying is: provided every single candidate does well, all of them will pass. I don’t want an exam like Anko’s, designed to cut the applicant’s numbers by half. I want an exam which everyone can pass. One that doesn’t give Konoha applicants any sort of advantage.”

“We want a test which will get our guests to simmer down and cease their trivial complaints,” Danzo said plainly. “It should be easy, don’t you think, Hatake?”

Kakashi, on his part, looked deeply troubled by the task at hand. “Sure.”

His distress was evident, seeing as he fled the room as soon as he could.

Moments later, Itachi returned and the previous meeting was resumed.

“You were saying, Hokage-sama?”

Looking into Itachi’s still youthful face, Hiruzen wondered what he had done in another life to be stuck with all these problem children. Just the thought of Itachi gave him guilt-ridden nightmares. Seeing him in person was a lot worse.

“Ah, Itachi-kun, yes. You had just finished giving your report, I believe.”

“Yes,” said Itachi, giving him a curt nod.

Hiruzen was still feeling pangs of guilt whenever he looked into the boy’s face. “I will set you up with my contact as soon as he arrives,” he told Itachi. “Will you be able to wait here until then?”

Itachi nodded. “Yes.”

Hiruzen nodded back. “Then, is there anything else you need?”

Itachi gave him a confused look, clearly thrown off by Hiruzen’s meager attempt at courtesy. Not for the first time, Hiruzen had to wonder what kind of environment the former Uchiha heir had grown up in.

“Actually, Hokage-sama…” ventured Itachi.

Hiruzen perked up. “Yes?” It was the first time he’d spoken up about anything.

“I was wondering… has there been an update in our coded languages?”

That… was not what he had been expecting.

“No. Why do you ask?”

“Just curious.”

Meanwhile, in another part of the village, Anko Mitarashi had just been told by a messenger that she would not be the proctor of the second exam after all. She’d been understandably mad and run off in a huff. Currently, she was jogging through the forbidden forest in order to deactivate the electricity, hot water and other similar necessities which she’d instated in preparation of the exam within the tower in training ground 44. She had just crossed about half of the Forest of Death, when a sudden kunai sailing toward her had Anko stopping in her tracks.

She glanced around warily.

“Who’s there?” she barked.

Only the sounds of the forest replied, which merely served to unnerve Anko further. She knew that there were no fellow ninja around in a ten kilometer radius. Except, it seemed, an enemy.

“Alright, scumbag,” ventured Anko with bravado. “We can do this the easy way, or the hard way. Now come out, before I make you.”

“My, my,” someone said from behind her. “How impolite. It’s rude to call your beloved teacher a scumbag, you know?”

Anko swiveled around and found herself face to face with her former teacher and current criminal: Orochimaru of the Legendary Sannin. She suppressed a violent shiver.

“What are _you_ doing here?”

“Oh? Can’t I pay my favorite student a visit?” said the man as he liked his lips ominously.

“I was your _only_ student,” Anko remarked coldly. “But that died as soon as you left the village, you filthy traitor.”

“Tut, tut. I fear I may have to teach you some manners again.”

“Over my dead body!” Anko shouted.

Orochimaru just smiled and hummed. “That can be easily arranged, my dear.” And when Anko next looked down, she had a sword protruding from her chest. “Sweet dreams… I fear you won’t wake up.”

Slowly and yet all at once, the pain began to register until it became unbearable. With a wet gasp, Anko fell to her knees. “W-why?” she chocked; her last words.

“Oh? It’s nothing personal, honey. I just needed to borrow your face for a while.”

And then he slit her throat.

When Itachi exited the Hokage’s makeshift meeting room a few minutes later, he was in a strange mood. Seeing all those familiar faces again – especially Danzo – had made his gut churn. They brought back memories of his time in Root, most notably, his last mission. Needless to say, none of them were pleasant recollections. Even Kakashi-senpai’s appearance had put him off. Seeing his old captain and teammate again had Itachi feeling all kinds of nostalgic. It had been a while since he’d felt so intensely about anything, and the prospect that he’d only ever meet Kakashi again in battle, as an enemy, wasn’t helping at all.

So it wasn’t very surprising to him when a sudden craving for dango possessed him and he just had to go and get it. Shisui had once explained that people liked to eat unhealthy things to feel better, and Itachi thought that he fit that description to a T. He knew that he wasn’t supposed to eat so much ‘comfort food’, but there was no one around to tell him not to. So he went to Shiemi-san’s shop and procured himself an unhealthy amount of dango.

“I knew I’d find you here!” came a cheerful voice… Sakura’s voice. Itachi nodded at her, then remembered she usually expected verbal replies from him.

“Good afternoon, Sakura.”

Sakura was looking at him intently. “You look a bit upset, Stalker-san. What’s wrong?”

Itachi blinked. The girl’s perceptiveness continued to amaze him. “Nothing.”

“Uh-huh. So is that why you are drowning your sorrows in dango?”

“I’m not,” he said plainly, even though he totally was.

“Well you’re going the wrong way about it,” Sakura explained, once again disregarding his statement.

“Ah. Then what would you suggest?”

“Friends, first and foremost,” said Sakura primly. “I went a while without having any friends and no amount of mochi could cheer me up.” She seemed to think deeply. “What you need right now is to start crying.”

“Pardon?”

Sakura nodded at him sagely. “Yes, yes. Kaka-sensei says that crying is like popping a balloon and that it’s good for you.”

Itachi couldn’t help but stare. “…come again?” He had heard Kakashi say many things, but that sounded too strange even for him.

“It’s a long story,” Sakura dismissed. “But if you feel embarrassed about crying, then I know another thing that’s going to cheer you up for sure!”

“Which is?”

“Petting Tora!”

She snatched his arm and began to drag him toward her house, all the while narrating the progress she’d made with the elusive Tora. Itachi was only letting himself be dragged about by a twelve-year-old because he appreciated cats, he told himself. The fact that he was smiling at Sakura’s narration had nothing to do with it.

Upon making it to her residence, Sakura and Itachi snuck in through the window, once again thanks to his proficiency with hair pins, and proceeded to look around for Tora. As Sakura had explained, the cat was a ninja in all but name, truly, with Houdini skills that could put any genin to shame. It was amazing how such a fat, orange fuzzball, could lead trained ninja around by the nose. Sadly, Sakura had explained, Tora’s stint as madam Shinji’s pet seemed to have made her lose faith in humanity, despite Sakura’s best efforts. Meaning: the cat tended to flee whenever she saw anyone. This was good in terms of hiding her from Sakura’s parents, but annoying on the whole, because Sakura wanted to pet it (and so did Itachi).

He had to admit, he was amused by how clueless her parents were. They didn’t even notice their daughter and a complete stranger sneak around the house in search of a foreign cat, and subsequently chase said cat on top of the kitchen rafters (in Sakura’s case) while her mother was sweeping the floor. However, not even Tora was a match for Itachi’s keen senses, and soon enough, he’d cornered the fugitive in the bathroom, where Sakura’s father was showering. He’d almost thought he’d been caught when Tora began to mewl loudly, but Haruno senior’s singing was even louder, and Itachi had walked out with no one the wiser. And so, he and Sakura had promptly made it back to her room.

And as it turned out, Sakura had been right. Petting the feline, Itachi found, was soothing… almost therapeutic. And talking to Sakura, strangely, was cheering him up too. When they’d finished discussing Tora, the conversation moved on to their progress with the air-step and Sakura’s complaints that she couldn’t hold her breath for long while under water, to which Itachi had suggested that channeling chakra to her lungs could, to an extent, infuse more energy into her cells in her lungs, which should allow her to hold her breath for longer. Then Sakura had tried to follow his advice and discovered that the practice required a lot of concentration and was very complex… not unlike sensing, which brought them to their next topic. And that particular subject somehow ended with Sakura telling Itachi about her failure at the chunin exams and how her ‘crush’ – love interest, he had to remind himself – was mad at her.

And Itachi, while socially clueless and aware of it, had still caught on to the fact that Sakura held a torch for her brother and was clearly talking about him. So, he figured, he might as well return the favor and do some matchmaking of his own.

He coughed. “I think you should give your teammate tomatoes.”

Sakura gaped at him. “Excuse me?”

“Yes,” He assured, recalling that they were his brother’s favorite food.

“Why on earth would I do that?

Itachi hesitated. “You could give them to him as a present.”

“What?” Sakura exclaimed. “He can buy tomatoes himself! What the hell, Stalker-san?”

“But I heard a rumor that he likes tomatoes,” argued Itachi weakly, wanting to do good by his brother.

Sakura looked at him suspiciously. “There are loads of rumors about Sasuke-kun, you know.”

“Yes, but I really do think he would appreciate some tomatoes.”

Sakura waved him off dismissively. “Stalker-san, you don’t know the first thing about Sasuke-kun. I’m not going to give him tomatoes.” She paused. “But getting him a present is a good idea! When I snuck into the teacher’s lounge back at the Academy, I found out that his birthday is on the twenty-third July! That’s pretty soon!”

“Hmm,” said Itachi. He was annoyed that Sakura would dismiss his tomatoes so easily.

Just in that moment, footsteps sounded coming up the stairs, followed by a feminine voice.

“Sakura! dinner is ready!”

“I’m coming,” Sakura shouted back. “Ne, Stalker-san, do you wanna join us?” Without waiting for Itachi’s answer, she yelled. “Mooom! I have a friend over! Can he join us for dinner?”

Itachi began shaking his head, but Sakura’s mom was already answering. “Of course, sweetie! It’s been so long since you had anyone over!” To make matters worse, the woman sounded genuinely happy. Itachi hated letting people down, but…

“Come on, Stalker-san. Why not have dinner with us?” Sakura was asking him.

“But I’m not your friend,” Itachi argued.

At this, she gave him a hurt look and then proceeded to stare at the floor. Itachi immediately felt terrible.

“I’m sorry, I meant no offense.”

“I know,” said Sakura, a bit quietly. “Don’t worry. You haven’t done anything.”

They stood there awkwardly.

“Sakura-chan!” Her mother’s shout broke through the tension. “Is your friend eating with us or not?”

Itachi and Sakura looked at each other, then they both spoke at the same time:

“It’s okay, you don’t have to–”

“Very well, I will join you–”

They both stopped and stared at one another.

“Uh,” said Sakura finally. “D’you mean it? I don’t wanna force you or anything.” Yet her green eyes looked so hopeful that Itachi couldn’t very well say no. Besides, what was holding him back, truly? He had nowhere else to be.

“It’s quite alright,” he told her. “I will join you for dinner.”

“Sweet, then let’s go!”

Upon leaving Sakura’s room, they were greeted by a staircase (she lived in a duplex), which lead to a living room, where a western-style table was already set.

Sakura’s parents were both indeed civilians. Itachi could tell immediately just by looking at them, not that he hadn’t already experienced their unawareness first hand. The father (“call me Hizashi”) was of strong build and with dark purple hair. Clearly it was his genes which Sakura had inherited, hair-wise. His voice was quiet, surprisingly, and his wit quick. On the other hand, Sakura’s mother, (“Just Mebuki will be fine”) was at first glance her husband’s polar opposite. Thin and coltish, her coloring fair rather than tanned, her hair a pale blond mass which had been tamed into submission with a copious amount of pins and… was that a needle? Itachi remembered belatedly that she was a seamstress. Most strikingly about the woman, however, was the way she held herself, with strict manners and poise, her voice loud and clear yet cultured and serious. She was the absolute opposite of her husband in every which way, though Sakura, was a blend of them both.

Just as Itachi was appraising them, they seemed to be appraising him.

“I didn’t know your friend was so old, Sakura-chan,” came Mebuki’s slightly disapproving tone.

“This is…” Sakura stepped in. “This is, uh, my teammate’s older brother, haha.” Itachi froze. He couldn’t help but glance at Sakura, fighting to conceal his shock. “His name is, uh, err… Uchiha…”

She was shooting him a panicked look, and Itachi decided it was high time he took over.

How could the situation have spiraled into madness so quickly? Sakura must be making this up, he prayed. She couldn’t know that he really was Sasuke’s older brother, could she? Itachi thought frantically about what to do. His current alias was Tetsuya Akashi, so he’d have to work with that.

“Uchiha Tetsuya,” he completed smoothly. “My little brother is her teammate, and Sakura had asked me for help in getting him a birthday present.”

“Ah, that makes sense,” said Kizashi approvingly. “Can’t say I’m surprised. Our Sakura’s always been one to put much thought into presents and the like.”

Even Mebuki seemed to have taken his ‘lie’ at face value. “So, Sakura-chan, Uchiha-san. Have you any ideas for the present yet?”

“Um, no, actually,” said Sakura, pausing to chew on her rice. “St – Tetsuya-san was suggesting food, but I figure it’s not special enough.”

Mebuki giggled. “Food? Typical brother present. Didn’t _your_ brother buy you four crates of red bean mochi for your thirtieth, anata?”

Itachi perked up. Apparently Sakura and her father shared their obsession with mochi.

“Kind of,” chuckled Hizashi, rubbing the back of his head. “Ah, those were the days. Sakura-chan secretly ate most of them though.”

Sakura blushed. “I did not!”

“Sakura!” Mebuki exclaimed. “Is this true?”

Kizashi smiled. “Simmer down, honey. That was years ago.”

There was a lull in the conversation as each ate their share of dinner. Itachi, personally, thought that it tasted like dry sandpaper. His mother’s cooking had been clearly superior. However, the very manners said mother had instilled into him had him reassuring the Harunos of the opposite:

“This is delicious, ma’am.”

“Thank you,” Mebuki accepted graciously.

Another silence.

“I understand you’re a seamstress?” Itachi prompted awkwardly. He really wasn’t used to making conversation. However, his upbringing as clan heir wouldn’t allow him to sit quietly in the silence, as much as he longed to.

“Oh, yes. Did Sakura tell you?”

“Yeah,” Sakura said. “Did you know, Stal – erm, Tetsuya, that my mom makes all our clothes? She even gave me a set of these red quipao dresses” she gestured toward her dress, “as a present for graduating from the Academy!”

Sakura sounded very proud of this fact. Meanwhile, all Itachi could think was that her red dress looked extremely impractical for shinobi work. The white circles imprinted on her back and sides reminded him of practice targets, like a beacon for enemy shinobi to aim their shuriken at. It seemed a rather ironical present for a graduating kunoichi.

“Truly?” he said instead. “I admit they are very… inspired.” His complimenting skills clearly needed some work, but Mebuki didn’t seem to mind as she began to explain about the Haruno business, and how she made clothes while Kizashi took care of sales and trading, and how they hoped that, in the future, Sakura might take over.

Sakura had opened her mouth, her eyes suddenly large. Did she not know of her parent’s plans for her? Or perhaps she knew, but disagreed? In any case, why had she even gone to the Academy if they meant for her to become a merchant?

He tuned back fully into the conversation once Mebuki stopped talking and her husband took over.

“You know, Sakura-chan, maybe you could get your teammate some clothes? Isn’t he the one who wears all those, what’s it called, all those hand fan things embroidered on his clothing?”

“Uchiwa fans,” Itachi cut in, unable to help himself. “They are the symbol of the Uchiha clan, which was inspired by the gunbai, or gunbai uchiwa, the clan founder’s weapon of choice – a symbol which has been passed down between Uchiha clansmen for generations”

“Err, right,” said Kizashi. “Of course, my bad. Anyway, don’t you think your teammate – that Sasuke boy, yeah? – would be happy to get some of those personalized clothes?”

“Uhh, maybe?” Sakura repeated, sounding dubious. “But my sewing skills are nowhere near close to mom’s.”

“And it’s high time you improved your technique, young lady,” Mebuki cut in in a tone that Itachi’s father had reserved for saying that it was high time he mastered the sharingan.

“The Uchiha clan’s seamstresses are… no longer available,” Itachi ventured into the sudden silence. “Sewing Sasuke some personalized clothes would make him very happy, as they are no longer easily available.”

“Huh?” Sakura blinked at him, a slow smile forming on her lips. “You’re right, Stal – Tetsuya! That’s exactly the kind of thoughtful present I was looking for. I think I’ll try to sew him something.”

Half an hour later found Itachi, Sakura and Mebuki gathered in the living room, with Mebuki lecturing them about proper sewing technique and how to hold their needles. Itachi honestly had no idea how he’d ended up in this predicament. He had never imagined he’d be tasked with sewing, of all things. However, the fact that both Mebuki and Sakura were much more skilled at it than him was disconcerting. Itachi was used to being the best. Or perhaps it was more correct to say that he was used to working obsessively on a skill until he had mastered it. So, as with all things, he set about learning how to sew. Perhaps he could even sew his own uchiwa fan as a keepsake.

After a while of supervising their progress, Mebuki had excused herself, leaving Itachi and Sakura to it. Once he was sure she was gone, Itachi asked:

“Sakura. Why did you say that I’m Sasuke’s brother?”

Sakura stopped sewing and looked at him. “Well, I couldn’t very well tell my parents that we’re friends because you’re my sensei’s number one fanboy and I caught you stalking him, and then you freaked out and destroyed my alarm clock, so we ended up bonding over you buying me a new alarm clock as I treated you to mochi… now could I?”

Itachi just blinked at her. “I don’t see why not.”

Sakura rolled her eyes. “Don’t think I can’t see you smirking, Stalker-san.” She giggled. “Stalker-san, Stalker-san, Stalker-san.” She seemed to find Itachi’s real designation hilarious.

Itachi, however, was set on the Sasuke topic. “But why his brother?”

“Well, I don’t think they’d have believed me if I had said you were Naruto’s, don’t you agree? What with him being blonde, with blue eyes and tanned,” lectured Sakura. “You and Sasuke, on the other hand, resemble each other a lot more. In fact, if I didn’t know better, I’d say you two could pass as brothers no problem.”

Itachi could have facepalmed. What was he doing? It had not been his intention to make Sakura notice their similarities.

“But everyone knows that Sasuke lives alone,” he said quickly, trying to reaffirm the belief that he _couldn’t be_ Sasuke’s brother.

“Every ninja, maybe,” replied Sakura, shrugging. “My parents are clueless.” Then, she happened to look over at what Itachi had been sewing, or rather, trying to, and promptly burst out laughing. Itachi sighed. He had to admit that his creation looked a lot like a tangled algae that had washed up out of a murky pond. Meanwhile, Sakura’s project, while not perfect, actually was starting to resemble a normal piece of fabric. Itachi narrowed his eyes at his algae, as though it had personally offended him, He’d master this technique, he promised himself. Even if sewing as a skill was rather useless for ninja work. However, Itachi was not about to quit now. He was sure that if he used his sharingan, he could expedite the learning process…

That day marked the start of a new routine. Itachi, who had no one else to talk to, but was still supposed to stay put in Konoha until he could meet the hokage’s contact, took to spending his mornings looking at what Sasuke and Sakura’s team was up to, much as he’d been doing until then, but his afternoons were often spent with Sakura.

It was rather peaceful, in a sense. His brother and his merry band of teammates seemed happy in their little world, and Itachi was happy for them. He enjoyed being able to observe his little brother like this. Truly, he was glad to have gotten the chance to once again. He had assumed his last time seeing his brother would be as Sasuke killed him.

Meanwhile, Itachi’s favorite summon, Karasu, had also taken a liking to team seven, or rather, to scaring Naruto every chance he got. Which was at least three times a day. And that was another thing: Karasu was now rebelling against his name, stating that ‘Karasu’ was a poor, unoriginal choice and that he much preferred being called ‘Shi-chan, the Harbinger of Death’. This annoyed Itachi to no end, because _he_ had been the one to think of the crow’s previous name, which was a perfectly fine one at that, and he did not appreciate the sudden change. Especially for something that sounded so unprofessional. Would Kisame ever take him seriously again if he heard Itachi calling his summon ‘Shi-chan’?” Itachi doubted it.

Then again, he pondered, Kakashi had given his own dogs names of a similar nature and was still feared across the seven nations. He sighed. Kakashi calling one of his summons ‘Shi-chan’ wouldn’t have surprised him in the least, in fact. Sakura truly shared his… well, appreciation for cuteness, he supposed. Fortunately, she did not try to dress Shi-chan up in little crow outfits the way Kakashi did with his summons. Thank god for small mercies.

So yes, Itachi’s mornings consisted of observing his little brother and company, strolling through the village, and enjoying some piece and quiet. His evenings, on the other hand, were spent with Sakura. Initially, he had been somewhat averse to the idea, but he’d found that trying to figure out air-walking was fun, in a careless kind of way that he hadn’t experienced for a long time. Sometimes, Sakura would chatter to him about her mornings with her team (mostly about things Itachi knew already), but it still amused him to hear Sakura’s take on the situation, which often differed greatly from Itachi’s own.

Occasionally, Sakura would bring her newest sewing project with her in order to show Itachi her progress with Sasuke’s present. As she wasn’t as of yet particularly skilled at sewing, Sakura had settled for making Sasuke a kerchief, which could be used as a scarf, she’d explained, or maybe to wrap something within. She was making good progress with the kerchief – a pleasant to the touch, dark blue material with the uchiwa fan embroidered into it in a teal color. The edges were perhaps somewhat rumpled, and it was apparent that it hadn’t been sewn by a professional, but Itachi figured that if it was him getting such a thoughtful present, he’d be very much happy. And he had said as much to her. Sakura had seemed to genuinely appreciate his encouragement, but added that she truly hoped Sasuke-kun would feel the same way, because he was a little difficult to get through to at times. Itachi hoped so too.

Sometimes, they’d go to Sakura’s house after training so that Itachi could visit Tora. He very much appreciated the visits, as he loved petting her, and he also found Sakura’s attempts to get the human-hating cat to like her endearing. To Sakura’s unending mortification, Tora had warmed up to Itachi much faster than to her, which only served to amuse Itachi further. Another thing he liked (though it had taken some getting used to), was Sakura’s parents calling him ‘Uchiha-san’. The first few times, it had freaked him out, but after accepting that it just was, Itachi had begun to appreciate the chance of getting called by his true name… without anyone hating him for it.

He also liked visiting Sakura’s house because he got to glimpse her mother sewing, a skill which he was still determined to master. Whenever Sakura was out of sight, Itachi would activate his sharingan (with a minor jutsu layered over it to make his eyes seem normal) and avidly watch Mebuki’s sewing technique in hopes of replicating it. Unfortunately, it wasn’t often that Sakura left him alone with the woman, and Itachi was too wary of Sakura’s surprising perceptiveness for genjutsu to try anything when she was around.

He had also taken the time to visit the hospital (disguised with a powerful genjutsu, of course) to finally get his recurring chest pains and breathing problems diagnosed. As Itachi had stopped doing as much exercise since arriving in Konoha, the symptoms had abated in the past two weeks, which wasn’t helping to pinpoint the issue. The civilian doctor giving him the checkup had simply looked Itachi over, stated that he was perfectly healthy, and sent him on his merry way. Unbothered by the man’s rudeness in the least, Itachi had merely snuck into a specialized medic nin’s consultation room, waited until the doctor was done mending some genin’s torn Achilles tendon (his skills appeared promising) and made himself known.

The medic had been suitably startled, yes, but it was nothing a quick genjutsu couldn’t fix. Soon enough, he’d come around and happily agreed to give Itachi a checkup. So, once again, Itachi had explained about his breathing problems, shortness of breath, and even occasional pain in his chest, and so, the medic’s first order of business had been to introduce his medical chakra into Itachi’s lungs. And so, Itachi had been forced to wait for the impending diagnosis. And wait. And wait. And wait. Finally, when about ten minutes had passed and the man’s chakra was still prodding around without doing anything, Itachi prompted: “Is something the matter?”

The man stopped channeling chakra and walked around the examination table to face Itachi again. “I’m afraid so, Akashi-san.”

“What’s wrong with me?” Itachi had wanted to know.

He had been diagnosed with a minor respiratory disease back during his contract with ANBU, but the treatment he’d undergone at the time should’ve been enough to cure him. He’d thought he was cured. Everyone had. His medic had even said at the time that the disease had been completely eradicated. And yet, years later, not long after he’d ‘deflected’ from Konoha, Itachi’s condition had suddenly reappeared again, but much worse.

“I don’t… I don’t know, Akashi-san,” said the medic. The man couldn’t meet his eyes. “I’ve never seen anything like it.”

“Is it an unknown pathogen?” Itachi asked, his stomach sinking.

“No, I mean, I… I don’t even…” the man looked utterly broken.

“Could you please describe what you have observed?” Itachi pressed. “I may attempt to seek treatment elsewhere, and it would help if I could describe the nature of my condition.”

“Well,” said the doctor, calming a little and sitting down in front of Itachi. “There’s definitely _something_ there. In your lungs. Growing.”

Itachi suppressed a shiver. “Something is growing in my lungs?” he couldn’t help but repeat, alarmed.

“Yes. It reminded me almost of a plant, but of course, that’s impossible.” The medic chuckled uneasily. “Do you remember ingesting anything that could’ve had a parasite within?”

Itachi shook his head. During his time at Akatsuki, he’d almost always eaten the exact same thing as his partner, Kisame. And Kisame, he was quite certain, was not ill.

“Will the use of jutsu performed through the respiratory track impact this… parasite at all?” Itachi asked uneasily, trying to stay rational.

The medic hummed thoughtfully. “What chakra natures do you have, Akashi-san?”

“Fire and water.”

The man’s eyes widened. “You are capable of both?”

Itachi nodded. “I am acceptable.”

The medic was looking at him with different eyes now, appearing very impressed. Fire and water were opposite natures, Itachi knew, so it was a strange – very strange – combination to have in one’s arsenal. He always got the same reaction when he shared the fact with others. Ninja which were proficient in _two_ elemental chakra natures were rare, never mind when one nature was the radical opposite of the other. In fact, this was one of the reasons why Kakashi, who had mastered both lightning and earth, two opposites, was so famous.

“Well,” said the man thoughtfully. “I’m not entirely sure how the use of fire and water jutsu could impact this… parasite, if at all. The scorching heat of fire jutsu might debilitate it… but perhaps not. Water nature, on the other hand, I’d try to avoid, if possible. For all we know, you could be providing it sustenance.”

Itachi nodded his understanding, but was upset. Generally, he preferred to use his water nature during combat. The thought that he was watering any surrounding trees and plant-life as he fought always was a pleasant one. With his katon jutsu, he was usually worried about causing a wildfire. However, he understood the logic behind the medic’s demand.

“I shall do my best,” he promised.

The medic nodded. “Very well then. I will discuss your case with my colleagues, see if they have more luck diagnosing you, Akashi-san. Hopefully we’ll be able to extract the pathogen through surgery. Please schedule another appointment with the secretary outside.”

Itachi, realizing that the nurse would likely notice that he hadn’t had an appointment in the first place, was forced to once again use his ninja skills to sneak around and trick the unsuspecting nurse into giving him an appointment. When he was finally done and had left the hospital, the morning’s events caught up with him:

He was ill.

Perhaps terminally so, if the pain he’d been coping with was anything to go by. Until that moment, Itachi had thought that it was his previous illness reappearing again, and had simply acquired his medication from back then and hoped for the best, resolving to visit the Konoha hospital once he returned to the village. But now here he was, and not even the medics of Konoha – famed as the best in all the nations – seemed to know what precisely was wrong with him. He tried to tell himself that it was only the one medic who hadn’t know his condition; surely his colleagues would have an inclining at least. But he just couldn’t get the man’s troubled eyes out of his mind.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Attention!!!  
> I've created a tumblr blog to post things related to my fic. I'll be answering any questions/comments you may have over there, as well as posting my art about the story (or not) deleted scenes, etc.
> 
> The link's thinknicht. As in, "don't think" (mixing german and english here) cuz apparently I'm an airhead, lol.  
> Pretty please give this airhead a follow and ask some questions, no matter how ridiculous or serious they are. From funny to existential, whatever comes up, you can ask away. Wanna know what a certain character was thinking in a scene? Just ask. Any question at all, seriously. Sometimes they even get me thinking and change my own perspective. Non-story related questions are fair game too, I'd love to meet you guys. 
> 
> !!!ALSO: I have a poll going for Itachi's alias, so hit it up if you'd like to participate (no account required). You can access through my tumblr page or this link:  
> https://www.opinionstage.com/thinknicht/best-undercover-alias-for-itachi
> 
>   
> So... rant's over. A little thank you heads-up to those who've read till here: next chapter is a glorious 12k words filled with Itachi... just saying ;)


	6. The Pageant

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Itachi gets roped into Sakura's shenanigans... yet again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone ;)  
> I just wanted to quickly say: interacting with all of you in the comments is so much fun. Like, I love it. And thanks to tumblr, I'm meeting a lot of you over there as well... There's so few people you can actually talk with about plot points and stuff that getting this chance is truly IT for me. So... thank you for that :)  
> And now? On with Itachi!

As Itachi was a creature of habit, he knew that breaking his current routine in face of the… news would not do him any favors. It was strange. He didn’t feel particularly different. Almost as though what his illness might entail hadn’t quite sunk in. The only thought that kept repeating over and over in his mind was that he shouldn’t have been so careless; he should have visited a doctor sooner. For as long as he could remember, Itachi had always been punctual to everything, but now that his life might be on the line, he was five years too late. He banished those thoughts from his mind, telling himself that he would continue with his routine. Straightening his spine, Itachi began to walk toward the lake where he and Sakura usually practiced the air-step in the evenings. He had every intention to go on about his day as usual.

Sakura, ever the diligent student, was already there when he arrived.

“Stalker-san!” she greeted excitedly. “Did you know that I can hold my breath under water for three entire minutes now?” She seemed utterly delighted. “And it’s thanks to that trick you taught me, remember? Channeling chakra into the lungs?”

Itachi sucked in a breath. He had completely forgotten about that. More importantly, he wasn’t sure whether the practice would affect his own illness, so, until he knew more, he probably shouldn’t channel chakra into his own lungs just to be safe. Which meant that Itachi’s attempts at mastering the air-step would be futile from now on.

“Stalker-san? What is it?” Sakura was saying.

But Itachi wasn’t listening. He let himself flop down into the water, sitting upon the surface, uncaring whether he was drenching his clothes.

“Stalker-san?”

It had begun to dawn at him what an utter disaster his condition was. What did this even mean for his career? Would he just shrivel up and die before his little brother could get his revenge, before the name of the Uchiha could be redeemed through Itachi’s death?

“Stalker-san, your hands are shaking.”

Curious. He didn’t feel anything.

Itachi looked up and found Sakura crouching next to him on the water. She was examining his face intently, her green eyes large and concerned. Normally, Itachi would’ve tried to get it together, but right now, he didn’t even care if he worried her. He was too agitated about Sasuke possibly not getting his revenge.

“Do you… do you wanna talk about it?” Sakura ventured after a moment. When Itachi shook his head, she didn’t seem all that surprised, but still disappointed. “I get that I’m like, thirteen, and you’re older than me. But you can talk to me, you know.”

“This doesn’t concern you,” said Itachi simply.

Sakura pursed her lips but didn’t argue.

They were silent for a few minutes.

“I think we should get some dango,” Sakura finally decided.

“To drown my sorrows in?” asked Itachi. The question sounded hollow to his own ears.

“No, silly. To sweeten up that bitter edge in your voice,” Sakura told him. “Let’s go.”

Fifteen minutes later, they were sitting on a bench at the civilian district, dango in hand, as they watched people come and go around them.

“Be thankful that I decided to be nice and ask Shiemi-oba-san to give us dango,” Sakura told him.

“As opposed to mochi?” Itachi asked without much inflection.

“Yes,” she said insistently. “Mochi are much better than dango in every way.”

Itachi tuned back into the conversation, but only a little. “Dango are the superior sweet,” he countered, still somewhat listless.

“Oh, and how’s that, Stalker-san? Mochi taste much better!”

“Taste is a subjective concept and useless to argue about,” said Itachi blandly.

“Yeah, but mochi are also more fashionable!”

“And how is that any concern of mine?”

With his dashing good looks, it sadly wasn’t. Sakura was staring to turn red. “Because dango is a safety hazard!”

Itachi frowned at her. “I politely disagree.”

“It’s true! And _you_ should be the most concerned party of all, Stalker-san!”

Itachi glared at her. “And why is that?”

“Well, first, because you are paranoid as hell,” said Sakura smartly. “What if you were in the middle of eating some dango and an enemy ninja used the stick they come in to gouge your eye out?”

Itachi chocked. “That would never happen.”

“Ah, but the possibilities are endless with such a pointy stick,” Sakura sung, pinching him in the arm with her own dango stick for good measure. “Mochi, on the other hand, are just round, squishy and delicious, without being pointy and dangerous.”

“Yes, but each dango stick contains three separate treats,” Itachi argued, displeased with Sakura’s bashing of his precious dango.

“But they’re smaller than a mochi,” Sakura countered. “Not to mention, the separate colors are so poorly combined. Cream, green and pink? Please.”

Itachi smirked. “Oh, but aren’t those your exact tones, Sakura?”

Sakura sputtered. “Excuse me?”

“Well,” elaborated Itachi. “Your eyes are green, like this.” He pointed to the upper piece of dango in the stick. “Your skin is a pale cream, like that one – and your hair is this exact same shade of pink,” he finished as he gestured to the last piece of dango.

Sakura was gaping. “Bu-but I’m wearing red, too…” Her weak comeback told Itachi all he needed to know.

“You best not insult dango ever again, Sakura, lest you inadvertently insult yourself,” he delivered the final blow, utterly satisfied with her demise.

Sakura pouted at him.

“Well, if _my_ coloring is bad, then yours is much worse,” she claimed hotly, then gave Itachi a critical once-over. “First, you wear that awful red and black cloak with clouds of all things as a pattern–” she seethed.

“What’s wrong with this cloak?”

“You know, Stalker-san, my mom is a seamstress,” emphasized Sakura. “And I can tell you right now that that cloak is not cut out for ninja work – or even everyday wear, for that matter. It looks bulky and heavy, the long sleeves are bound to get caught in everything, not to mention that I doubt you can eat soup in that without drenching it.”

Itachi gave her an annoyed look. “And you tell me that? After the impractical clothes you yourself wear?”

Sakura flushed. “They’re not impractical! My main mission is to get Sasuke-kun to fall for me, and I can’t do that while looking like a cave-woman!”

Itachi gave her an unimpressed look. “I’m sure Sasuke would appreciate competence more.”

“Excuse you?!” Sakura exclaimed. “Who says I can’t be competent AND pretty?”

“No one,” Itachi backtracked quickly.

“Why, exactly! And besides, this dress was a present from my mom! You _know_ that! Of all people, you should be able to respect my choice of wear!”

He did know, but he hadn’t realized it meant so much to Sakura. Itachi himself had never given much thought to the outfits his own mother had sewed for him. In fact, he had often resented her for forcing him to wear the Uchiha crest at all times, thereby singling him out automatically from many of his non-Uchiha peers. However, hearing Sakura now, as she defended her mother’s present, he wished he had kept some of his old shirts from back then… even if they probably wouldn’t fit him anymore. In any case, it was a pointless endeavor, as he was rather sure that Sasuke was using them. He couldn’t imagine how else his little brother would’ve gotten clothes with the Uchiha clan logo on them.

“I respect your mother’s skills,” Itachi agreed in the end.

“Good,” said Sakura. “But we were talking about _your_ sense of fashion here. Or lack thereof, anyway.” Itachi blinked at her. It seemed that Sakura was on a roll. “Where was I? Oh, right. That awful cloak of yours. Red and black, remember that.”

Itachi frowned. “Alright…?”

“Now open your cloak.”

Itachi did so, and Sakura frowned. “See that?” she exclaimed indignantly. “Blue! You’re wearing blue – almost purplish, really – underneath a red and black cloak!”

“And?”

“What do you mean, ‘and’? Can’t you tell it’s a horrible combination?” Sakura scowled. “And don’t even get me started on your boots. White, are you serious? And what’s with that chunky design, anyway?”

Itachi was lost. He was just wearing the mandatory Akatsuki outfit. How should he have known that his leader had apparently a terrible fashion sense?

Sakura, meanwhile, was still examining his feet. “Last but not least, Stalker-san, while I appreciate a good manicure… what on earth possessed you to paint your finger _and_ toenails purple?”

Itachi blinked. It was a who, not a what, actually, and his name was Pain. And no, Itachi had no idea why Pain was forcing everyone on the Akatsuki to paint their nails. He wasn’t even sure if it was an actual rule or an unspoken consensus. He’d simply seen that every member had them painted, and, striving to blend in, had run to the closest grocery store and purchased some dark-coloured nail paint as well.

According to Sakura, it was aubergine purple and a blow to anyone with a functioning pair of eyes. Itachi chose to withhold the fact that his eyes were some of the most coveted ones across the entire ninja nations and simply nodded along.

“Truly, Stalker-san,” Sakura was saying. “I don’t know how your mother lets you walk around looking like that. My mom told me the other day that you need to visit a clothes shop urgently, and I agree.”

“My mother has passed away,” Itachi settled on. “Though I do appreciate the concern.”

Sakura stared at him in horror, her face adopting a contrite expression. “Oh.”

Yes. Oh.

She looked at him, clearly sorry. “I was just trying to take your mind off whatever was troubling you. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to bring up another painful topic.”

Itachi dismissed her with a gesture. “So this… discussion about fashion was an attempt to distract me from my concerns?”

Sakura nodded. “Kinda. I thought I was succeeding, but then I ended up putting my foot in my mouth.”

Itachi had to agree. “It was still a good try,” he conceded. “Though your choice of topic was a little… unexpected.”

“Fashion?” asked Sakura. “But why? Clothes shopping always cheers me up. I figured talking about it might… make you feel better.”

“I think what you mean to say is that you were ‘educating me’ about it.”

“Well, maybe.” Sakura looked embarrassed.

“Hm. Well, I’ve never gone clothes shopping before,” Itachi admitted.

“What?” said Sakura. “How’s that possible? You’re… what? Seventeen? Sixteen?”

“Eighteen,” he corrected. “And my mother usually took care of it.”

Sakura frowned. “What was she, your maid?”

Itachi frowned. She _had_ done the cooking, sewing, cleaning and basically everything else around the house. But he’d never really thought about it. It was just what was expected of the Uchiha matriarch. However, he suddenly remembered that she had been a kunoichi before that. Had his mother resented her matriarch duties? He suddenly felt like he’d failed her as a son. And wasn’t that a strange thought? He had more than failed her. He had killed her, after all. And yet, he suddenly wished he had thought to ask her whether she ever felt like a ‘maid’, as Sakura had put it.

“She was a proud woman,” Itachi settled on after a long silence. “She was no one’s maid.”

“Well, seeing as she’s… uhh… no longer here, maybe it was about time you learned how to go clothes shopping anyway, Stalker-san,” Sakura told him sensibly.

Itachi frowned. He was required to wear the Akatsuki-issued gear in Kisame’s presence, but perhaps having a few spare outfits wouldn’t hurt… even though, when he had to conduct infiltration, he usually just cast a genjutsu to disguise himself. Still, being around Sakura had made Itachi realize that there were a lot of things he still didn’t know anything about. Intricate skills like sewing, or color-combining, or any number of other things. Itachi didn’t mind learning new things.

His lip quirked up. “Alright, Sakura. You can take me clothes shopping, if you wish.”

Sakura smiled gleefully. “Don’t worry, Stalker-san. You’re in good hands.”

Later, as they were riffling through clothes rack after clothes rack, with Sakura explaining about color combinations, and how too many patterns didn’t look good on one, or how the material was just as important as the design, Itachi thought that yes, clothes shopping was as complicated as she’d previously made it out to be.

Sakura, meanwhile, seemed to be thriving as she directed him around the shops.

“It’s been so long since I’ve done this with a friend,” she told him with a smile. “My bestie and I used to come to this shop whenever we had time.”

Itachi blinked. “If it makes you happy, why would you stop?”

“Well,” Sakura trailed off for a moment, a hint of pain flashing through her eyes. “I don’t have a best friend anymore, so.”

Her words reminded Itachi painfully of his own best friend – and of his death.

“Oh.” He said. “My condolences.”

Sakura stared at him blankly for a moment. “What.”

Itachi repeated his statement.

“She’s not dead, you know?” Sakura deadpanned.

Now it was his turn to be confused. Itachi didn’t understand: “If she’s not dead, then why?”

“Why are we not friends anymore?” asked Sakura. He nodded. “Just this stupid argument we got into.”

“Then why don’t you make up with her?” Itachi asked. He couldn’t imagine not immediately attempting to reconcile with Shisui if he were in her shoes.

“Because… because I just can’t,” Sakura said. “We’re rivals now.”

Itachi frowned at her. “My best friend and I used to be rivals as well and it wasn’t a problem,” he told her, remembering his own and Shisui’s competitiveness.

“Yeah, but you’re a nice guy,” Sakura said, as if that explained everything.

“I beg to differ.”

“It’s true!” she insisted. “Ino and I… well, we’ve been pretty nasty to each other. I’m not sure if we can come back from that.”

Itachi had been called many things, but a nice guy wasn’t one of them, and he was still mulling it over when, suddenly, a high-pitched voice rung out from behind them:

“Oh, if it isn’t Forehead herself. What are _you_ doing here, Sakura?”

A blonde girl, about Sakura’s age but with a distinctly more appalling outfit, was standing by the door of the shop.

Immediately, Itachi observed a change in Sakura’s demeanor: her shoulders straightened, her chin tilted up, and her expression smoothed out. She turned around slowly.

“Shopping, Ino,” said Sakura. “What else?”

Oh? So this was her former best friend?

“You know perfectly well that this is _my_ turf, Forehead,” the blonde rebuked. Next to her, Itachi observed a gaggle of other girls which apparently were following her lead. Itachi also remembered that Ino was the name of the Yamanaka heiress, and immediately felt bad for Sakura. The Yamanaka were known for their ability to hold a grudge.

“Your turf?” Sakura echoed. “I don’t see a sign of ‘pigs only’ anywhere.” She looked around the shop mockingly. The girls around Ino seemed shocked at Sakura’s insult, and so was Itachi. He hadn’t pictured her being so rude to anyone.

“Shut up, Sakura!” Ino rebuked shrilly. “Who’s that, anyway?” She pointed at Itachi.

Itachi, meanwhile, was dismayed to have been roped into the conversation. He wasn’t scared of the girls recognizing him – they were too young – but he did not fancy getting caught in the crossfire of the impending cat fight.

“This is…” Sakura looked at him for a moment. “This is my cousin, Tetsuya.”

“Hmp. Well, let me tell you, Forehead. Your cousin’s fashion sense is even worse than yours. Which is a feat, mind.” Much as Sakura had done before, Ino looked Itachi up and down scathingly. Even though Itachi wasn’t wearing his coat at the moment, he apparently still didn’t pass inspection. “Pff, what is _wrong_ with your family?” Ino continued. “I know they’re civilians, but this? No cousin of mine would ever dress like that. Forehead, I feel sorry for you, truly.”

“Wanna repeat, that, pig?” challenged Sakura angrily.

“Gladly. I’ll even go a step further,” taunted Ino, preparing for a killing blow. “I feel sorry for you. Because your cousin is a _fashion victim_!”

All the girls around her gasped, as though Ino had just uttered the most horrible curse, and Sakura’s face flushed beet red as she stepped in front of Itachi. “He’s no such thing! In fact, his hair is even better groomed than yours, Ino-pig!”

“Excuse me?” Ino shouted back. They were starting to attract an audience, as the patrons of the shop had all turned to look at the commotion.

“Yeah!” Sakura shouted loudly, dragging Itachi forward. “You see these cheekbones, pig?” Sakura’s eyes narrowed. “They could cut diamonds. Unlike yours.”

Another collective gasp.

“Are you calling my cheeks… chubby!?” Ino shouted.

“Well, if you insist, Ino-pig,” Sakura shot back with a haughty smirk.

“Hmp.”

“Just admit it,” Sakura continued. “You’re jealous because my cousin is cooler than any of your blonde groupies.”

“Ha! As if!” Ino shouted. “I have Touya-kun, remember? And _he_ won last year’s male fashion pageant, Forehead. And he’s going to win tomorrow's pageant as well!”

She strolled up to Itachi, flipping her hair confidently as she did so. “This peasant wouldn’t stand a chance against him.”

Itachi, meanwhile, was starting to grow uncomfortable with all the attention, but no one seemed to be considering his feelings on the matter.

“Excuse me, young lady?” The shop clerk had suddenly walked up to them and was giving Ino a reproachful look. “This young man is not a peasant, and I’m sure he could have a good shot at the pageant as well.” The woman smiled reassuringly at Itachi. “Don’t worry, lass.”

Itachi smiled back, feeling somewhat pained about the whole situation. “Ah, thank you, ma’am,” he said nevertheless.

“You’re welcome, dear. But I do mean it when I say you have a good shot at the crown. That pink-haired girl was right about your cheekbones, you know.”

Itachi’s hand went to his right cheekbone, touching it rather self-consciously.

“I think so too!” a random civilian who had been watching chimed in.

“Me too,” said an other.

“Yes, yes,” opined a stately-looking grandmother. “Son, you have that contest in the bag, don’t worry. Though perhaps a change of outfit would help…”

They all looked at Itachi’s clothes as though personally offended. Itachi, meanwhile, considered the pros and cons of casting a genjutsu to be swallowed by the earth.

“You heard them, pig,” Sakura said suddenly, clearly thriving on Itachi’s acquired support network.

“Hmp. Touya-kun will hear about this,” Ino threatened as she turned to leave, her lackeys in tow. “You may have won the battle, Forehead, but you won’t win the war.”

Itachi wondered what war they were talking about and hoped it didn’t involve him. Or his cheekbones. Once Ino had left, things calmed down, and the customers slowly returned their attention to shopping.

“So…” said Sakura, turning toward him awkwardly. “That was my rival.”

“The one you told me about?”

Sakura nodded somberly. “The very one.”

“…I can see why you got along,” Itachi offered.

“What’s that supposed to mean?!”

He retreated a few steps. “Well…” Itachi ventured. “You’re both very fashion-conscious.”

“Stalker-san,” chided Sakura. “Most normal people are fashion-conscious.”

Itachi didn’t know what to say to that. So he changed the topic. “Why was she talking about a war? And why did you say my cheekbones could cut diamonds?”

Sakura rolled her eyes at him. “Because you have nice cheekbones. And that was just Ino being dramatic.”

Itachi thought that his cheekbones were just like anyone else’s, but they had already established that he was a ‘fashion victim’, so he wasn’t even going to ask.

“And why was she pitting me against this Touya person?”

Sakura sighed. “Ino’s cousin Touya is pretty famous for being a pretty boy.” Itachi stared blankly. “You know, with dashing good looks. Though he’s a civilian.”

“I didn’t know the Yamanaka had civilian clan members,” Itachi said.

“Ino’s mom married into the clan,” Sakura explained. “And Touya is her sister’s son. And unfortunately, he’s also insanely vein and has been winning male beauty pageants since he reached the minimum participation age. He’s _that_ hot.”

“Ah,” said Itachi, uncomfortable.

“So. Are you gonna beat him or not?”

“I’m sorry?”

“You heard me,” smirked Sakura. “I bet if we bought you some half-way decent clothes, you could show that asshole who’s boss.”

“I think I’ll pass…” muttered Itachi. He truly didn’t think he could handle it. The beauty industry was terrifying.

To his dismay, by the time they left the shop, it appeared as if half the civilian district knew about the mysterious challenger to Touya’s crown. But not mysterious enough that they wouldn’t recognize him on sight, or maybe that was Sakura walking next to him. Her pink hair did act rather like a flag. Unfortunately, the civilians seemed to thrive on the drama. Worse yet, many of them appeared to know Sakura personally, which gave them an excuse to approach Itachi as well. A lot of them wished him encouragements – and Shiemi, the owner the dango stand, even cornered them to let Itachi know that, should he win, she would give him free dango. Provided, of course, that he agreed to tell everyone where he’d bought the sweets. (Apparently, the pageant held a lot of sway among teenage girls, which were one of the main sources of income for Shiemi’s dango shop, so she hoped to influence them through Itachi.)

And so, after carefully considering her offer, Itachi decided that he could give the pageant a shot. It was a civilian event, so it was extremely unlikely he’d meet anyone who could recognize him there. And if it happened, he could just sharingan them into oblivion. Besides, he trusted Sakura’s fashion skills, and perhaps he could help her rekindle her friendship with Ino by participating. The two girls may be rivals, as Sakura had said, but he had the feeling that it was a fun rivalry. Not to mention, he really wanted the free dango.

Once he’d informed Sakura of this news, she had completely lost it and began to furiously plan how to get him ‘up to Toya’s level’ in a day. Needless to say, they spent the rest of the afternoon running from shop to shop, with Sakura comparing price tags like a hawk. As it turned out, the clerks had already been updated on Itachi’s status as The Challenger, and were all eager to sell him the clothes that would pave his way to the throne. Sakura, on her part, was milking the situation for all it was worth, haggling with every clerk and shop-boy there was in order to get special discounts, then running to the next shop to see if she could use its prices to bring the previous price down even more.

Meanwhile, Itachi was in awe of her bargaining skills. As a known clan heir, it would’ve been in bad taste for him to ever try to bargain or tip sparsely in the past, so watching Sakura’s verbal spars with the various clerks had been like entering a new world. Despite his previous reservations, he was amusing himself immensely. When he had relayed his newfound interest in bargaining to her, Sakura had grinned, said that he should try it for himself, and shoved him into a thrift shop.

“This is my absolute favorite place to shop,” she’d confided in a hushed voice. “My parents aren’t as wealthy as Ino’s, you know, so my allowance doesn’t really let me shop in the posh boutiques she does. Now I have the extra pay from D-ranks, so I can buy a bit more, but until becoming a genin, I always used to come here.”

Itachi glanced around. The shop didn’t look like much. Correctly interpreting his expression, Sakura spoke up:

“This place might not look it, but there’s always hidden gems around here,” she explained. “You just need to know where to look. But my favorite part,” she said with a smile, “is Yuna.”

“Yuna?” Itachi repeated curiously.

“She’s the batty cat-lady who manages this place,” Sakura whispered. “I love her. And she bargains like a tigress.”

“Then why did you bring me here?” whispered back Itachi with alarm. “I know next to nothing about bargaining.”

“She’ll go easy on you,” said Sakura with a wink. “Who do you think taught me my skills?”

Itachi blinked. “I had assumed it was your parents, since they’re merchants.”

“Nah,” said Sakura. “My father’s taught me some math, the geography for his trade routes and one hell of a lot about accounting. And my mom beat some manners into me and some sewing skills. But bargaining? That was all Yuna.”

“Well, well,” a raspy voice cut in suddenly. “Are you two quite done discussing your strategy yet?”

The speaker was a wizened-looking woman. Old, and with deep, experienced eyes. She was holding a dirty towel in one hand, a wet cat in the other. Apparently, Itachi surmised, she had just given the cat some sort of bath.

“Hello, Yuna!” chirped Sakura. “Did Goliath sneak off to the construction site again?”

The old woman shuffled forward until she was standing right in front of them. Without warning, she thrust the soaked cat into Itachi’s arms and began to inspect him, her face inches from his.

Radio silence.

“Ah, ‘tis a fine specimen you’ve brought me, Sakura,” the woman commented after two minutes of staring, completely disregarding Sakura’s previous question. “Those cheekbones… yes, yes. He has promise.”

Uncomfortable by the scrutiny, Itachi looked away and began to pet the cat.

“I take it you heard about what’s going on then, Yuna?” asked Sakura.

“Naturally.” She gave them a shrewd look. “But I fear you two are behind schedule, should ye truly intend ta dethrone that salacious asshole.”

“Uh, yeah, we do. And we, uh,” Sakura said sheepishly. “We actually haven’t bought anything yet. But I have some ideas. Problem is, I also have a budget.”

“Ha. A budget, she says,” muttered Yuna to herself. Then she retrieved the cat from Itachi’s arms and swept further into the dingy shop. “All you need ta win is right ‘ere, girl. And there ain’t no budget this shop can’t accommodate. Do try ta keep up.”

“Certainly,” said Sakura sweetly, “I do expect a good price if I am to buy here. However, I might as well look elsewhere too, you know. Wouldn’t want to put all my eggs in one basket.” She smiled at Itachi. “But as a matter of fact, the one you’ll be bargaining with today is him, not me.”

And with such pretty words, Sakura had thrown Itachi to the wolves. Or to Yuna, anyway, but after witnessing the woman in action, he wasn’t sure which he’d prefer.

He did, however, work up the courage to bargain for a bandana by the end of their stay at the shop – as Sakura gave him a thumbs-up in the background. He and Yuna had argued back and fourth until the old woman had taken pity on him and agreed to give Itachi the bandana for free, provided they bought that red shirt which would look very good on you indeed, young man. When they finally left the shop, they’d acquired Itachi new shoes, as well as a few extra shirts in different colors, because apparently, he needed some more color in his life.

Then Sakura proceeded to drag him around through the other shops, taking advantage of the time which had passed since their first visit to bring prices down even more, buying pieces for Itachi’s ‘debut’ left and right. He didn’t miss, however, that it was her money they were spending, and that she was very careful with it. Itachi had insisted that he would pay Sakura back, but she had dismissed him, saying that she’d been the one to drag him into the competition in the first place, and that this was between her and Ino.

Itachi himself didn’t have much money either, as everything that had previously belonged to him had gone to Sasuke, and the Akatsuki didn’t pay him for his services except for the necessary to complete his missions. Thankfully, Sakura’s bargaining skills had allowed for their expenses to be relatively tame. Even so, he resolved to pay her back as soon as he had the chance. When they were finally done, Sakura gave him instructions to meet her an hour before the pageant at her house the next day and then they parted ways.

After bidding Sakura goodbye, Itachi realized with some surprise that he’d completely forgotten about his illness. And yet, as soon as he was alone, thoughts about it once again began to plague him, to the point where he couldn’t fall asleep that night, no matter how long he tossed and turned in his bed. Finally caving, Itachi ended up anxiously sneaking into his little brother’s flat at four in the mourning. He watched Sasuke sleep for hours, until Sasuke’s ‘alarm clock’ broke through the silence. Apparently he had bought such a contraption as well. When Itachi finally returned to his inn, he felt unsettled. Watching Sasuke sleep had made him realize now more than ever that he was still a child – more of a child than Itachi had been at his age, at any rate. His little brother would need to hurry up if he wanted to avenge Itachi on time, because he didn’t know how long he had left.

The morning dawned, clouds came and went over the sky, and Itachi was still feeling shaken. He didn’t bother with breakfast or lunch, feeling like if he ate anything, it surely wouldn’t stay in his stomach. As the day crawled forward, his mood only worsened, and by the time he and Sakura were supposed to meet, Itachi put off going to her place, considering whether he should even participate in her pageant in the first place. What had even made him think he could win? Itachi didn’t consider his appearance to be anything but ordinary. Even so, remembering all the effort Sakura had put into shopping for him, Itachi finally caved half an hour after she’d told him to be at her house, and dressed in the clothes she’d instructed him to. Ten minutes later, she was scolding him over his tardiness in an irate tone.

“I know you’re Sensei’s fanboy, but that’s a habit you definitely don’t need to emulate, Stalker-san!” She’d sniffed. “There is no such thing as being ‘fashionably late’, there’s just late!” Then Sakura had taken one look at his face and completely lost it. “What on earth happened to you? Didn’t you sleep at all last night?”

Itachi shook his head mutely.

Sakura scowled. “And you had such a nice complexion too. Come, we will have to use makeup.”

“Can’t we just cast a genjutsu?” Itachi asked.

“That would be cheating,” Sakura refuted. “C’mere.” Then she proceeded to force Itachi into a stool and cake his face in powder, all the while explaining exactly what she was doing. When she finally finished, Itachi looked at himself in the mirror and was rather surprised.

“Are you sure you didn’t cast a genjutsu?”

“No,” said Sakura, rolling her eyes. “Just makeup.”

Itachi stared at himself strangely. He looked the same as usual, but… shinier? His skin was practically glowing – moisturized, Sakura had corrected – and she’d concealed his eye bags and the stress-marks that crisscrossed his cheekbones. And apparently she’d done something to accentuate said cheekbones as well.

Needless to say, Itachi was flummoxed. Due to his occupation, he was accustomed to feeling like a tool, but now he felt like someone’s canvas.

Sakura, apparently, had kept talking while he wasn’t paying attention.

“Did you even brush your head today? Honestly, Stalker-san.” Then she handed him a comb and told him to make it quick, after which she instructed him to push up his sleeves in order to display his forearms. Itachi had no idea how on earth any of these things would help, but he followed her orders nonetheless.

And with these finishing touches, they left through the window and en route pageant. Apparently, it would be celebrated on the outside, in a park which had a makeshift runway installed at the very middle.

There were already tons of expectant civilian’s gathered around the walkway when they arrived. A good portion happened to be giggling teenage girls, but Itachi also caught many snippets of conversing adults, who had apparently come to ‘watch that Touya asshole’s demise’. But Sakura dragged him past them all, until they were behind a linen wall and registering him as a participant.

“Is this him?” said a male voice quietly.

Itachi turned around subtly and was greeted by a shirtless teen about his age, blonde and with blue eyes, a picture that was completed with a cocky posture and a sneer. He was eyeing Itachi speculatively. Next to him stood Ino.

“Yup,” said the blonde in a hushed tone. Apparently, they weren’t aware of the fact that Itachi could hear them. “I have to admit, Sakura’s cousin cleans up well.”

“You’ve got to be kidding me,” replied the teen, who Itachi assumed was Touya. “There’s no way he’s going to beat me. Just look at these abs.” He pointed at his own abs, which were proudly on display. Itachi, meanwhile, was wondering what was so special about having abs. Then again, Sakura had wanted him to show his forearms, for reasons unknown to him. It was around then that she came back, shooting a challenging glance at Ino, but not engaging.

“Listen, Stalker-san,” Sakura told him after they were out of hearing range. “There are four candidates other than you. I’ve signed us up last so that you could leave a lasting impression on people. Your turn is after Touya, The Asshole Himself.”

“I see,” nodded Itachi. He hoped this would work.

And then the competition began.

Seeing as Itachi had no need for validation, he wasn’t particularly nervous about losing. However, he still felt a little unsettled as he watched candidate after candidate appear on stage. The first one was shirtless again. For whatever reason. The man then proceeded to strike a few poses and wink dashingly at the audience. Next came another participant, who was dressed in a fancy get-up and proceeded to create a beautiful piece of music by rubbing the top of an assortment of wine cups. Itachi was deeply impressed with this performance and certain that the wine cup musician would win.

“Am I supposed to do something that impressive as well?” he asked Sakura worriedly.

Sakura turned toward him. “Well, you’re a ninja, right? I figured you could just do a few flips or something.”

Itachi blinked. Flips? But how was he going to ever top the amazing display with the wine cups by flipping about? He gave Sakura a dubious look.

“Look,” said Sakura. “Just trust me, okay? There’s no rule against ninja participating, but your audience are civilians, so it’s best if you don’t do anything too flashy. Some basic acrobatics should be fine.”

Itachi wasn’t certain about that, but figured that there wasn’t much else he could do. He turned back to the next contestant, a man with a sleeveless shirt and very large biceps, which he kept flexing. And that was it. He just strolled about and flexed his biceps. And was that a pec moving? What was with these people and their pectoral obsession?

Finally, it was Touya’s turn. Itachi was curious about his so-called adversary. The blonde was still shirtless, but was wearing an open white blazer over his exposed chest, for reasons unfathomable to Itachi. This strange getup was completed with white pants, lacquered shoes, and a plastic rose between his teeth. To top it all off, Touya suavely reached into his pocket, pulled out a piece of paper, paused for dramatic effect… and, adopting a velvety voice, began to recite smarmy poetry.

Down bellow, the female crowd was swooning, and Itachi even spotted Ino shooting Sakura a victorious glance. Sakura, meanwhile, was starting to look worried.

“Oh, he’d good,” she was muttering with a blush.

Finally, Touya finished his recital, winking at the whooping girls and ignoring the boos from the part of the crowd who had come to witness his downfall.

And then it was Itachi’s turn.

“You can do it, Stalker-san!” Sakura whispered encouragingly. Though she didn’t sound very sure. And so, Itachi was left to walk up the stage on his lonesome, feeling rather like he was walking toward his execution instead.

“Psst, boy.” He suddenly turned around and found Yuna and her cat peering at him from behind a corner. “Over here.”

Itachi walked over.

“What’s your performance going to be?” rasped the old woman.

“…flips…”

“Right.” She looked him up and down. “Listen, yer a ninja, right?”

Itachi blinked. How had she known that?

“I know everything.”

“I see.”

“Look here,” said Yuna. “There ain’t nothing those silly girls don’t like more than a hero.”

“Ah.”

“I’ll leave it at that.”

And with these cryptic words, Yuna strode off.

Meanwhile, Itachi finally walked up the stage, feeling very out of place. Over fifty faces had turned to watch him attentively. Suddenly, music filled the area, and, out of the corner of his eye, he could see Sakura making dancing motions at him. Itachi felt his heart sink. What had he gotten himself into? He knew next to nothing about flipping about in tandem with music, and he wasn’t about to make his first attempt now. Why on Earth had he agreed to this again?

Eyeing the expectant crowd, Itachi suddenly had the idea that perhaps he could put them all in a genjutsu to make it seem as though he was completing some admirable performance. Thinking this, he walked closer to the end of the stage so that he could look everyone in the eye. Quietly, Itachi surveyed the faces of the crowd, who were all looking back at him, starting to gather his chakra in preparation for the genjutsu.

Meanwhile, Ino and Touya were watching with gritted teeth as Sakura’s cousin advanced forward upon the walkway. His walk was confident but silent, graceful, and Ino could already tell that half the fangirls were captivated even though he hadn’t yet opened his mouth.

He was somewhat charming, she had to hand it to him. In a quiet but intense sort of way. He had begun to gaze at the crowd, making eye-contact with every single person… it was immediately clear that something about him was just completely different from all the other contestants.

“What’s he doing?” hissed Touya.

“A single glance can be worth more than a thousand words,” explained Ino glumly. She was an expert on body language, after all, and knew that actions such as these could have a larger impact than any number of murmured verses.

“Are you dismissing my poetry?” Touya muttered surreptitiously.

Ino rolled her eyes."Of course not, Touya-kun." Though it was technically a rip-off from a book.

Touya nodded, placated. “Besides, what does this guy even think? That he can win just by soulfully gazing into people’s eyes?”

As he was saying this, someone uexpectedly shouted: “Oh, woe! Goliath, _no!_ ”

Everyone turned to look at the speaker, an old woman who was pointing at something in a tree on the other end of the park. But Ino wasn't fooled by the grandmotherly facade. She knew that woman: Yuna. The old hag was one of Forehead’s most cunning allies. And so was her cat, for that matter... an animal with almost human intelligence. Said cat was currently dangling precariously from the uppermost tree-branch, looking as if was going to fall to its death any second.

The crowd gasped tremulously, all of their attention transferred to the cat. Suddenly, the people began parting like the read sea. And as Ino craned her neck to find out why, the parting crowd had suddenly reached her section, so she stepped back just like everyone else out of instinct. And suddenly she knew why: of all people, Sakura’s cousin had taken off at a dead sprint, dashing toward the cat with a concerned look on his face. Just in that second – plot twist – the cat lost its grip from the tree-branch and began to plummet toward the ground. Sakura’s cousin began to sprint toward the tree faster, and when he reached it, he didn’t even slow down. It looked as if he was going to run straight into the tree. The crowd gasped yet again as, instead of a dramatic crash, he used the tree as a springboard of sort and just… shot into the air like a corkscrew, spinning through the distance in an amazing display of acrobatics and smoothly retrieving the mewling cat in midair.

Artfully.

By the time he’d landed on the ground again, feather light, as he cradled the feline to his chest, the crowd had gone _wild_. Absolutely everyone, save for Ino and Touya, began to clap frantically. It was clear who was the winner.

Enraged, Ino turned around to glare at Sakura. Surprisingly, her former friend looked just as elated as anyone else… but then Ino looked at Yuna and just _knew_. The old woman was grinning, toothless, a cunning glint in her eye. Ino had no doubts right then that she had staged the situation somehow. Damn her.

Itachi, of course, had realized what the old woman was up to as soon as he’d seen her cat in danger. It had vexed him greatly, as he didn’t approve of animal endangerment as a method to accomplish victory. Unfortunately, it wasn’t like the woman had shared her plan with him beforehand, so all he could truly do was to save the cat and leave it at that. He was mad at Yuna, however, for caring so little about the well-being of her pet. He didn’t even intend to stick around to resume his so called performance. Casting a genjutsu would’ve clearly been the safer option. Unfortunately, before he could leave to give Yuna a piece of his mind, he was dragged toward a stage and declared the winner of the pageant. They shoved a crown on his head and forced him to stand in line before the other candidates, who were all glaring at him. It wasn’t a particularly fulfilling experience.

When he was finally allowed to leave, Yuna was gone. Sakura, whose face had lighted up upon seeing him, was looking at him with confusion now.

“Everything okay? You look kind of upset.” she asked hesitantly.

“Did you know about Yuna’s plan?” Itachi asked crossly.

Sakura blinked. “You mean… wait, her cat in the tree and stuff… that was planned?”

“Yes, it was,” said Itachi moodily and took the crown off his head.

“Stupid old woman,” Sakura said with a frown. “As much as I love her, she can do some shitty things sometimes. Though her cat does have a reputation for surviving fifty foot drops.”

“She does?”

Sakura nodded. “Rumor has it, Goliath once even fell from the Hokage’s office window and nothing happened to him.”

“Ah…” said Itachi distractedly. It just figured the old woman would be so careless. “I’m sure Goliath and Tora would get along well, in that case.”

“You’re right. They’d make quite the pair!” Sakura giggled. “Imagine if they had babies. They’d be super cats!”

Itachi shook his head, bemused, and put the crown on Sakura’s head.

“Huh?” She looked at him questioningly. “Why are you giving me this?”

“You did most of the work,” he stated plainly. Without Sakura, he wouldn’t have even participated.

Sakura fingered the crown thoughtfully. “Well, I guess it’ll be pretty neat to tease Ino pig with this. Thanks, Stalker-san.”

“That’s alright,” said Itachi. However, he did have to wonder whether he’d helped mend Sakura and Ino’s friendship at all, or whether his own victory had only added fuel to the fire of their rivalry. At least he had learned to bargain, he consoled himself. And he’d be getting free dango.

And as it turned out, free dango was a good distraction from the fact that he was ill. More so, when it turned out that none of the medics in the Konoha hospital knew what his condition was. They had been able to assure him, however, that channeling chakra into his lungs would not affect the pathogen within them in any way, as they were two separate entities. In fact, they had recommended the practice for when he had trouble breathing. This had been the only positive aspect of his second visit to the hospital. It had meant that Itachi could continue to practice the air step after all.

Days blurred together. His mornings were often occupied with going to the hospital, where test after test was performed on him. Itachi had even been informed that specialists from other hospitals across the country were being contacted, but communication was slow, and so far no one had made a breakthrough.

When he wasn’t busy being prodded by needles or being told to pee in a cup, Itachi turned his attention inward, to his crow summons, and focused on what Karasu was seeing. And so, he observed his brother’s progress with his elemental chakra. He watched as Sakura finally managed to sense Kakashi’s presence one morning. He even saw with interest as Uzumaki Naruto managed to create a tiny cut in his leaf for the first time. However, nothing could truly distract him from the sterile hospital smell or the whispering doctors or the looks of pity being shot at him. It wasn’t just that; the hospital reminded him too much of the teammates he’d lost within its walls. Every single one of them, he could remember with clarity, as well as the hours spent waiting fearfully outside of the ICU room. Needless to say, Itachi disliked hospitals. Even when he wasn’t there, the building loomed threateningly on the edges of his conscience.

His evenings practicing the air-step weren’t the same anymore either. As enthusiastic as Sakura was, Itachi just wasn’t feeling it.

And so it was she who managed to get the hang of the technique first. One evening, she came running into the clearing, a hot pink notebook clutched in her fist eagerly. She’d opened it up, and, to Itachi’s perplexity, revealed a complex string of equations and advanced calculus within its heart-filled pages. Now Itachi was starting to regret his short Academy stay, if students got to learn so extensively about physical theorems. Itachi had dabbed in them himself, naturally, but it had been years since he’s used calculus at all, and he would gladly welcome a refresher. So he asked Sakura if he could read through it more closely, to which she’d stared at him with a drooping mouth and wide eyes and stuttered that of course, he could take his time.

So Itachi had perused her notebook to his heart’s content and found that, yes, for all intents and purposes, Sakura had figured out the proper mechanics of the air step. Apparently, she had worked out the physical equations for the solution thanks to the application of complex pressure formulas. Itachi, who was beginning to remember all of his long-forgotten knowledge, checked over everything and had found her calculus to be sound. He had said as much to Sakura, which had been a great cause of joy for her. She had claimed most people didn’t react to her ‘nerd moments’ the way Itachi had.

After that, the air walk had just kind of clicked.

It would take a lot of fine-tuning, certainly, but as Itachi stood upside down upon the water and practiced his kicks and forms, he knew that, should it ever become more widely known, it would revolutionize water-combat. In an underwater fight, provided he was still alive by then, he would have an immense advantage over his opponents, who would be limited to swimming and would thus have their mobility restricted.

He glanced at what Sakura was doing and found her rushing about upside down and jumping from one place to the other, a blissful expression on her face. Itachi figured she had a right to be proud.

It wasn’t until both Itachi and Sakura emerged from the Uchiha lake, both panting and soaked to the bone, that it occurred to Itachi that perhaps he might not meet Sakura again. They had managed to perform the air-step, which had been the whole point of their meetings in the first place. Of course, neither had mastered the technique yet, but now that they had figured out the hard part, Itachi figured that that would follow suit. To be honest, he was surprised at how saddened he felt in light of this. He hadn’t even realized it himself, but practicing the air-steps was currently one of the very few things that motivated him. And Sakura was the only person he conversed with, save for perhaps the inn keeper. It was disheartening to think that he’d soon be alone again.

Sakura, on her part, seemed to have realized none of this. She was elated about her accomplishment, to the point where she cajoled Itachi to get some celebratory sweets with her. As they had before, they both picked up their sweet of choice from Shiemi-oba-san and sat down upon their usual bench, Sakura with a bag full of mochi, Itachi with his beloved dango. They took to people watching as they usually did, though today something was different. Itachi tensed when he felt a respectable amount of chakra signatures hovering somewhere behind them. He turned slightly and glimpsed a group of teenage girls sitting on another bench. A few of them met his gaze, but the majority suddenly lowered their gazes and pretended to be busy. What all of them had in common, however, was that as soon as Itachi looked, they started to giggle. He turned around, feeling slightly disturbed.

“Looks like you have fangirls now, Stalker-san,” Sakura said cheekily.

Itachi was starting to regret ever participating in that pageant. “So it seems,” he commented. He glanced back around and the girls began to giggle again. Itachi suppressed a wince. They were wrong to like him. He wished he could tell them.

“Don’t worry,” said Sakura next to him. “They’re harmless.”

Itachi lifted a brow at her.

“I mean it,” Sakura insisted. “After all, I’ve been a fangirl myself for years.”

She admitted it without a problem, and Itachi suddenly worried about Sasuke. “I hope you didn’t follow my – your teammate around.”

Sakura blinked. “Sasuke-kun? I would never! I’m not _that_ bold, you know?”

Itachi stared her down. “Are you sure?”

“Yes, I’m sure!” Sakura scowled.

“Good. Because I’m starting to worry about his safety.”

Sakura glared at him. “Sasuke can cope with a bunch of fangirls.”

Itachi found it amusing how she included herself in that category, yet simultaneously dissed it. “Is that so?”

“Careful, Stalker-san. If I didn’t know better, I’d say you’re jealous of Sasuke’s fanbase.”

Itachi’s mouth opened in shock.

“Ah, now you’re gaping suspiciously,” Sakura remarked faux-seriously. “That’s not helping your case, Stalker-san!”

When Itachi continued to stare at her with shock, Sakura returned the look for a moment and then burst out laughing. “Stalker-san,” she wheezed, patting his elbow with one hand and clutching her stomach with the other. “Calm down, I was just teasing!”

Itachi closed his mouth. “I’m not following…”

Sakura grinned. “Have you never been teased before or what? I was pulling your leg, silly.”

Itachi remembered that Shisui had had a tendency to ‘tease’ him, as he called it, as well, but Itachi had never really understood him back then either.

“It was a joke?” he concluded.

“Yes.”

“Then why did you look so serious?”

Sakura rolled her eyes. “Outwardly, I was trying to look serious so I could tease you, Stalker-san. But I was mentally cracking up.”

She was mentally… cracking? Did she need a psych evaluation? Itachi decided that no, this must probably be one of her strange expressions. Possibly, it was a synonym of being amused.

“How can I tell teasing apart from a serious demand then?” Itachi asked with a furrowed brow. Why was communication so complicated?

Sakura looked at him with amusement. “I don’t know. Context clues?” When Itachi just stared at her, she sighed. “See that man over there?” She pointed at a man who wore a serious expression and was chastising his daughter. “Is he teasing or not?”

Itachi frowned, resisting the temptation to activate his sharingan. He couldn’t see the daughter’s expression, but the father’s seemed serious enough. However, Sakura’s countenance had also been serious while she was teasing him. Itachi was lost. He didn’t think his father had ever teased him while he was scolding Itachi… right? At least, he had never ‘cracked up’ in the middle of it.

“Earth to Stalker-san?” Sakura called out. Itachi blinked at her. “So? What’s the verdict?”

“The father isn’t teasing his daughter,” Itachi decided. Though it came out a little like a question.

Sakura looked at him with some amusement and then shook her head with a smile. “Of course he isn’t. He’s scolding her! Can’t you see the grim look on his face?”

Itachi nodded hesitantly, though the truth was, without his sharingan activated, his sight had deteriorated to the point where he couldn’t properly see that far away.

Sakura grinned. “Seriously, Stalker-san. Your social skills need some work, huh?”

Itachi nodded.

“Well, I suppose we could do some more people watching. What can you tell me about those two?” She pointed at another pair of chatting civilians. These two were even farther away, and Itachi truly couldn’t see their expressions no matter how hard he squinted. He tried to listen to the conversation, but the street was too loud.

“The man in red is… thanking the other person,” he settled on. Though, for all that he knew, he might as well have said that he was challenging the other to a duel for his honor.

“Uh, Stalker-san…” said Sakura. “That’s a woman. With short hair.”

“Oh.”

Sakura peered at him speculatively. “Stalker-san, you’ve been squinting like your life depended on it. Can you even _see_ properly?”

Itachi blanched. He could not allow the enemy find out this weakness. But then he had to remind himself that Sakura wasn’t ‘the enemy’ and that truly, she had no idea about his identity.

“I have bad eyesight.”

Sakura sighed. “You know that that can be fixed, right? Have you considered glasses?”

He had – for about a millisecond, because Itachi had dismissed the idea almost as soon as he’d had it. Glasses could be smashed in a fight or simply taken away. In either scenario, they were a liability. However, for the duration of his stay in Konoha, perhaps some glasses might not be such a bad idea. In fact, they would help disguise him further.

And so, Itachi and Sakura had ended up on yet another shopping trip, this time to get him glasses. He was particularly interested in trying on sunglasses, as they would help conceal his identity and if need be, even his sharingan. However, Sakura insisted that he looked like a ‘suspicious character’ in them, and, as that was exactly what he was trying to avoid, he ended up having to settle for some normal spectacles. After having him try on at least thirty spectacles which all looked the same, Sakura had suddenly clapped her hands at number thirty one and exclaimed ‘they are the ones’ and then assured him they looked ‘cute’ on him. Itachi couldn’t really see his face in the mirror properly, so he resigned to blindly trusting Sakura’s judgment, pun sadly unintended.

Decision made, they informed the clerk of their choice, who then called an attendant. The newcomer took Itachi to a room, where he performed some tests on his eyes with a strange machine Itachi had been very reluctant to look into, though ended up peering into anyway. Finally, the attendant had allowed Itachi to leave, assuring him that his new glasses would be ready within the hour.

Itachi had relayed as much to Sakura, who, upon thinking it through, proposed they take a walk to kill time. Itachi had thought that this was a good plan. Unfortunately, their plan was foiled by one of Itachi’s newly acquired fangirls, who assaulted them at the market. Apparently, the girl was Sakura’s neighbor, though Sakura would later assure him that, for the life of her, she couldn’t remember the older girl. Unfortunately, by then it was too late. Upon sight, the ‘lucky’ female had pounced on her alleged acquaintance with Sakura like a predator mid-hunt, proceeding to bomb her with questions about the pageant until Sakura finally caved and, with an apologetic expression, introduced her to Itachi. No sooner had Itachi spoken his fake name, the girl began to ignore Sakura completely in favor of complimenting Itachi’s ‘heroic act’.

It took him a moment to realize that she was talking about rescuing a cat from a tree. The way the girl put it – Ayame or Akane or something in that vein – one would’ve thought that Itachi had prevented a war. Which technically, he had – not that she knew that. Thank Hashirama she didn’t.

While he was preoccupied with mentally sending his thanks to Hashirama, Sakura’s alleged neighbor continued to chatter at him and asking questions. Did he have a girlfriend? Was he a model? Oh, such an amazing fashion sense was rare in a man, surely he knew? And on that note – why did he know Sakura? What was their relationship, exactly? And then: why on earth would he want to hang out with his much younger cousin? Oh, and for that matter, what was his age? And if he truly didn’t have a girlfriend, (excited squeal) was he interested in dating? And also, did he prefer his chocolate black or white?

A very desperate Itachi (who was honestly baffled by the last one) tried to answer the questions without being rude. Thankfully, Sakura finally came to his rescue. At first, she made a show of very unsubtly checking her watch and tapping her foot. However, when that wasn’t enough to deter the infatuated female, Sakura lost her patience, harrumphed and told the girl to take a hike, because Itachi had a very boring, very family-only appointment with the optometrist, and that they had to leave. The neighbor had glared at Sakura hatefully, turned to smile cheerily at a baffled Itachi, and retreated into the shadows.

(She would’ve made a fine ninja with that kind of drive.)

Fortunately for all parties involved, she wasn’t a ninja. Due to this, her stealth was rather sub par, and both Itachi and Sakura noticed as the fangirl persistently trailed behind them, even going as far as to wait outside the optician’s shop while pretending to check out a handbag next door.

Needless to say, as soon as they had retrieved Itachi’s new glasses, Sakura began to devise a strategy in order to avoid their stalker upon leaving the shop. She was talking about some sort of escape route through the bathroom window, but Itachi was too engrossed in staring at his glasses to pay attention.

They looked… odd.

He had never held spectacles before, and, though he was more familiar with them than alarm clocks, Itachi could still clearly imagine his father’s opinion on his current predicament. ‘No son of mine will ever stoop so low’ he’d mutter into his collar. In spite of this, Itachi knew that if either he or Sasuke had ever truly needed the glasses, Fugaku would’ve grudgingly accepted them (after spending a long while in angry denial). Tough, to be quite fair, Itachi, too, had been in denial of his failing eyesight for a long time. It had been such a gradual process that he’d barely noticed it. However, after discovering that he could no longer read properly without the sharingan, he had been forced to accept his new reality.

And now he was holding… glasses, of all things, in the palm of his hand.

“Are you going to try them on any time today?” Sakura questioned him. “They don’t bite.” Apparently she’d finished talking about her escape plan.

Nodding, Itachi took the spectacles gingerly and lifted them to his face. At first, the onslaught of sudden clarity had him feeling slightly dazed. He looked around with amazement. Little details he hadn’t noticed before were becoming apparent around him.

“I take it they work, huh?” Sakura commented next to him, but Itachi was hardly listening, and it was all he could do to nod. As he turned back toward her, she was suddenly so much neater. The shape of her nose, the contours of her face, the little specs in her iris – he could see it all. Sakura was smiling at him without a care, and before Itachi could fully finish to process it, she had dragged him to the staff restroom. Itachi had only time to marvel at the intricate patterns of the stone slabs in the wall, before Sakura pulled him out of the window and used her chakra to follow suit.

“I feel so adventurous!” she giggled quietly. “Oh drat, I think Akemi’s looking around for us!”

As if on cue, the fangirl turned around and stared at them. From his perch on the bathroom window, Itachi stared back.

Then Sakura tugged him forward and yelled: “Run!”

And then they were running, racing through bustling streets and under lush trees, over a cart or two and onward. Sakura was sprinting full force and grinning radiantly, while Itachi was too busy looking around in wonderment. The sky was clear. He could distinguish a hawk soaring overhead, down to the little package it was carrying. He could see the dirt under his feet down to the last dust speck. He could even see the separate hairs of an eager puppy dog that was chasing after Sakura. (Itachi disregarded the owner, who was also chasing them and yelling at his dog to come back). The run was freeing. In that moment, his illness was the furthest thing from Itachi’s mind. He ran and ran and continued to admire the world. He had forgotten it was so beautiful.

Finally, Sakura came to a stop. She was panting and completely winded, but her smile was wide.

“Escape accomplished!”

Itachi returned the smile. Indeed, the fangirl was gone. He looked around, but couldn’t see anyone close by. They had ended up at the park where they’d first reunited after kidnapping Tora.

With a happy sigh, Sakura plopped down on the grass and so did he. The sun shone warmly through the trees, casting dotted little shadows upon Sakura’s face, like a dalmatian. Before them, a bee was making its rounds, swerving from flower to flower and taking what pollen it could from within. Itachi could see everything, even the separate little pollen dots from within the daisies. He clipped a dandelion from the grass and blew on it, watching with quiet reverence as the tiny white seeds fluttered into the air. A ladybug climbed from the dandelion into his hand, and Itachi moved his arm carefully in order to follow its progress. It was red and small, as it had always been, but now he could appreciate the little black dots upon the red wing covers or its little antennae, which flickered about curiously.

After a while, the ladybug took flight and landed primly upon Sakura’s hair, prompting a squeak from her. She shook her hair about, like a lion its mane, and then they both watched as the ladybug fluttered off. Itachi looked on as it disappeared between verdant blades of grass, a small smile stretching across his face. It was then that Sakura realized that it was the first time she’d seen him smile.

“You know, Stalker-san,” she commented. “You look nice when you smile.” Itachi blinked at her, surprised. “Keep it up and you might even expand your fanbase!”

“You… are you teasing me again?”

She giggled. “Looks like you aren’t a lost cause after all.”

The next day, team seven met at their usual training ground bright and early. Sakura, especially, was feeling pumped. Her success with the airstep had given her a much needed boost in confidence. Truly, she felt like she could pull off just about anything… including sensing Kakashi when he arrived.

The thing was, for days, she had felt like she could sense the man’s presence up on a tree. However, when she’d triumphantly pointed at the tree in question and yelled for him to come out, damn it, and to stop trying to trick her, Kakashi had done no such thing. So it had basically looked like she was chatting up trees again. (Much to Sakura’s mortification and her teammates’ bafflement).

Instead, Kakashi had done everything in his power to pull the wool over her eyes. As soon as Sakura managed to so much as sense-glimpse him, his presence suddenly became weaker and weaker, and, while Sakura clung to the mental imprint of his little ball of chakra as much as she could, she always ended up losing track of him at some point. It was unnerving, almost like he was dangling the price (the sunshin) in front of her and pulling it away just when it was within reach. The damn tease.

Every day, sensing Kakashi got harder and harder, as he concealed his presence with more zeal… but Sakura was sure that there would come a point where she’d catch him no matter what. After all, if she didn’t, her teammates would continue to think that she accused random trees of tricking her for fun. It was so unnerving. Sakura didn’t know how he always managed it, but Kakashi truly had a special talent for embarrassing her in front of her teammates. Ugh.

She supposed that the progressively increased difficulty might have made sense the first time she’d sensed him… which admittedly, had only been due to the fact that Sakura had heard some suspicious sounds in a tree. As it turned out, it had been Kakashi, who, for all his stealth, hadn’t been able to hold back his merry giggles in the face of Icha Icha. It was actually hilarious if she thought about it. Elite ninja, her butt! The man’s stealth operation had been thwarted by porn. Or rather, ‘explicit adult literature’, as he had succintly put it. Ha. He could play it cool all he wanted, but Sakura was pretty sure she’d seen his ears flush beet red right then. With all the gray hair, it had looked very odd. She wondered bemusedly whether perhaps Kakashi wore the mask to hide the fact that he was secretly a blushing maiden. And wasn’t that a though? Sakura was starting to think that the man was an even bigger fangirl than herself… almost on the verge of being a pervert, but still. Details. She could appreciate having a fellow fangirl on the team, even if he was actually a twenty-six year old dude. But who was she to look a gift horse in the mask?

For that matter, since her and Stalker-san’s encounter with his own… err, admirer, Sakura had been so horrified with ‘the dark side of fangirls’ that she had resolved not to act like one around Sasuke-kun ever again. Poor Stalker-san’s very own stalker and her besotted attentions had given Sakura secondhand gag reflexes. From now on, she’d be professional around Sasuke-kun, heck yeah. Naturally, this was easier said than done what with Sakura’s long standing infatuation, but it was the thought that counted, right?

Just as she was pondering whether she should drop the ‘kun’ in Sasuke’s name, she sensed him. Kakashi had arrived. Sakura looked up and straight to the tree where she could feel the man’s presence.

“Come out, or I’ll make you!” Sakura shouted imperiously.

“Are you still talking to that tree, Sakura-chan?” Naruto asked.

“Sakura, you’re not going to fool Kakashi by arbitrarily pretending you can sense him every now and then,” Sasuke added.

Sakura sniffed. “Sasuke-k…” she managed to swallow the ‘kun’ just in time. “It’s not arbitrary if he’s right there – wait…” she narrowed her eyes. Kakashi had disappeared again while she was distracted. Damn it!

“Sakura-chan, you look like someone just peed in your cereal,” Naruto said.

“Shut up, Naruto, I’m trying to focus here!”

Both of her teammates stared at her curiously as Sakura closed her eyes and concentrated.

 _You won’t be getting away this time,_ _you… you fangirl_ _,_ thought Sakura. She was going to sense him, damn it, and she was going to do it _right now._

And then she actually did. Sakura suddenly felt a week presence appear under the little lake. She would’ve almost thought it was a goldfish… but, though it was small, it felt very compact. Starker than the chakra of the other fish… She was suddenly certain it was Kakashi.

And thinking this, Sakura strode confidently upon the lake, ignoring her teammates’ surprised sputters, and performed the air step right then and there, going under exactly where she could feel the ‘goldfish’.

Kakashi’s stumped expression when she suddenly appeared next to him, standing upside down on the water, was something she’d treasure for the rest of her life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So...? Thoughts? Opinions? I'm dying to hear them!


	7. Kakashi's Mistake

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kakashi makes a grave mistake and Orochimaru makes his rounds...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a reminder: Orochimaru murdered Anko a few chapters ago by slitting her throat.

Kakashi Hatake: loyal comrade, teacher, friend… fangirl.

Yes, Sakura’s oddball sensei was all of those things. Fortunately, he was also a man of his word and had promised to teach her the sunshin as per their agreement. After all, Sakura _had_ sensed him, as unbelievable as it sounded. The awesome recollection still had her feeling giddy. Both of her teammates had been amazed as well (in Sasuke’s case, somewhat grudgingly), with Naruto profusely apologizing for thinking that Sakura was just randomly talking to trees, and Sasuke demanding she teach him to water-walk.

Neither of them had seen Sakura use her airstep, and Sakura hadn’t told them about it either. However, Kakashi _had_ seen the technique in action and had been instantly captivated. Sakura hadn’t even thought that it would be particularly useful. To her, the airstep’s invention had been but a game, a challenge to push her chakra control to its limits. But not to Kakashi.

After they were done with their training for the day, he had taken Sakura aside to question her about it. When she had explained how she’d come up with the concept (leaving out Stalker-san) and detailed her current control over the technique, Kakashi’s eye had widened. To Sakura’s surprise, he seemed to consider the airstep a much bigger deal than she did. When she’d said as much, Kakashi had paused to think for a moment, then defied all expectations by coming up with over ten different applications for it on the spot. He had even remarked how, had he, for instance, been able to airstep during his fight against Zabuza, things might have gone very differently. The man’s sheer creativity, which had allowed him to come up with all sorts of uses for the technique in _seconds_ , had Sakura completely in awe. She’d never realized what amazing analysis skills he had. With all of this said and done, Sakura had ended up giving Kakashi her notes on the topic, explaining what she could about the technique’s mechanics and demonstrating it for Kakashi to examine with his sharingan. After a while of explaining things and Kakashi assuring her that he would try his best to master the airstep as well, he had given Sakura’s head a thorough ruffle (something he had only done to the boys until then) and bid her a cheery goodbye.

And in that moment, Sakura’s only thought was that the sheer respect in his eyes had been more than worth the effort. The rush it had given her was almost addicting, like a drug. She’d never admit this to anyone, but from then on, Sakura knew she’d keep craving that feeling of respect, of accomplishment, of being worth more than her pretty looks. She longed for Kakashi to look at her like that again.

So it was decided, thought Sakura decisively. She would master the chiheisen _and_ the sunshin no matter what, and then she’d show Kakashi and he’d be gobsmacked. _And then_ she’d become the most badass, gorgeous, romantic, kick-ass kunoichi in history!

Given, her first attempts that morning at the sunshin had been an absolute disaster, but Sakura had faith. The chiheisen, for one, was progressing along very nicely. Thanks to her daily training, Sakura could already activate the genjutsu very quickly and use it to measure all the things around her with near flawless precision. However, now that she had mastered the actual genjutsu came the hard part: Sakura would need to learn how to use the acquired measurements and angles to calculate everything _just so_ in order to deflect many shuriken with only one of her own. Needless to say, this was easier said than done.

For the moment, Sakura was practicing a bastardized version of the exercise, using still targets as she tried to get two of her own shuriken, thrown near simultaneously, to rebound off each other and hit both targets. Even though this was much easier than deflecting an incoming shuriken with her own, Sakura had quickly realized that it would take a lot of work until she could pull the ‘easy’ exercise off. Because, though her aim was very good (it was one of the few things that just needed a lot of mindless practice), it wasn’t good enough.

Practicing the chiheisen every day was helping improve it even more, but Sakura had realized that it still wasn’t up to par with what she needed. Because her aim would need to be a second nature to her, something she could do in her sleep. Because for the chiheisen to work, Sakura would need perfect accuracy, no matter wind or weather, no matter her emotional state. And most importantly: she would have to do it without thinking at all, without any preparation, because all of Sakura’s focus would have be on calculating trajectories. And all that, while simultaneously throwing two different shuriken at once.

She cringed. Yikes. And this was just the easy version of the exercise!

Needless to say, the chiheisen was one of the hardest things Sakura had ever attempted, scratch tat, the hardest thing, hands down. If it weren’t because Kakashi had told her that she was progressing at a fast pace, she might have already quit. The whole thing was just disheartening, honest! Especially anything involving her non-dominant hand, which Sakura would need to very much dominate for the chiheisen. She could already throw left-handedly pretty decently, but doing so while using her right hand? Golly.

The thing was, until now, Sakura had always thought she was good at left handed shuriken practice. In fact, it was one of the few taijutsu skills Sakura had actually been above average at. This was a result of her own so called ‘super-special romantic training’ which she’d developed for lack there of anything else to do. The thing was, as a child, Sakura hadn’t been able to leave her house after dark to practice her aim, courtesy of her overbearing parents, and since the Academy finished as the sun set, she couldn’t train, period. But never one to give up so easily, Sakura had come up with a different method to boost her left hand’s ability – namely: using it. Yes, yes, it sounded easy. But holding chopsticks, brushing her teeth, or even writing with her left hand had seemed like hard challenges back then. And when, on the day of an important test, Sakura had sprained her right wrist… the fact that she could just switch hands like it was nothing and then finish her test, to her classmates gawking surprise, had been like a badge of honor to her. So yes, while Sakura wasn’t completely ambidextrous, it was a close thing. Cha! And there was no one or nothing that could get between her and acing a test!

Ahem. But she was getting sidetracked. Sakura may be good at using her left hand, but handling both hands at the same time? That was a whole new level entirely. So, being the only sane person in her team, Sakura had figured that, before she started to throw pointy weapons around with both hands, perhaps it’d be better if she got a little more used to using them in tandem first. So she had devised a new romantic super-training exercise… drawing.

Yes, yes, it was lame. Sakura knew that if her life were a book, readers would be bored to tears with her cerebral approaches to fighting and training. However, last she’d checked she wasn’t in a book, so she could do whatever she pleased. Or in other words – Sakura would sit down on her desk and attempt to draw with both hands at the same time. The resulting disfigured blobs were horrendous to look at and a blow to Sakura’s pride, but she kept at it for almost an hour daily, and slowly but surely, she was starting to see an improvement.

She was snapped out from her ruminations by someone calling her name.

“Sakura? Hey, uh, Sakura?”

Surprised, Sakura stopped walking. Glancing around, she found Ino’s teammate (what’s his name?) standing a few feet from her, seeming uncertain. Why was he speaking to her? Could it be that Ino had sent him?

Sakura immediately had to recall the blonde’s expression when, just the other day, she had casually paraded through the Yamanaka flower shop with the pageant crown on her head. Naturally, Ino had been quite outraged. For some strange reason, Sakura had suddenly remembered Stalker-san’s advice on friendship, and for an even stranger reason, had felt a strong pull to try and make up with the blonde. And yet, Sakura had been too afraid of rejection to do much of anything, but some sort of change must’ve shown on her behavior, or perhaps it was the lack of Ino’s usual entourage, because her rival’s habitually sharp tongue had softened ever so slightly. Amazingly, the two girls had managed to have something which could almost pass for a normal conversation at a normal volume. Almost.

Snapping out of the recollection, Sakura tuned in to find the guy looking at her expectantly.

“Uhh, hey.” She looked at him weirdly.

“Err, right. I was wondering if you… errr…” he scratched his head and began muttering to himself about ‘troublesome situations’. Sakura stared at him with an arched eyebrow.

“Can I help you?”

The guy rolled his eyes; but she got the feeling that it wasn’t at her, more like at the situation.

“Actually, yeah.”

She stepped a little closer. “Well, what is it?”

Sakura was starting to remember the boy from the Academy. Or more accurately: her distaste for him. She had always gotten the feeling that he looked down on the material being taught, seeing as he always acted like he was above such boring pursuits. To someone who had practically lived and breathed academics her whole life, that attitude had been quite offensive. So, even though Sakura had known that he was friends with Ino, back then she hadn’t even bothered to put up with him. She was sure that something would’ve exploded if she had. And seeing as she had the bad habit of not remembering what she disliked, Sakura still didn’t know his name. She’d go with ‘the sloth’ for now.

Anyway, the sloth was scratching his head as though pondering how to answer her question. “Well,” he drawled after a minute of making her wait. “Kakashi’s your sensei, right?”

Sakura eyed him with suspicion. “Right.”

“And I’ve heard he’s going to be the proctor for the next stage of the chunin exams.”

Say what?! Sakura hid her surprise, choosing to reply with an eloquent: “Uh-huh”

“…so I was wondering,” the sloth continued, encouraged, “if you had any useful insight for dealing with him?”

Sakura was taken aback. “Wait, how do you even know that?” she questioned slowly. “The proctor’s identity isn’t public knowledge.”

The sloth had the gall to smirk. “I have my ways.”

Sakura remembered clearly that he was from a clan and crossed her arms with distaste. “If by that you mean nepotism, then sure. Good for you.”

He shrugged. “What can I say? Gotta make use of any resources I have, right?”

Sakura couldn’t argue with that, but still. It was unfair. “Alright. Whatever. So you want insight on Kakashi, huh?”

He nodded, and Sakura sighed. She had just been thinking about how she wanted to make up with Ino and this was clearly a great chance. But that didn’t mean she had to like it.

“Okay…” she reluctantly caved. “Do you have anywhere you need to be?”

The sloth shook his head, and Sakura wanted to grab his ponytail and give an annoyed pull. If he wanted a favor, the least he could do was give verbal responses. She gripped her knuckles and forced herself to remain calm.

“Fine, then you can walk me home. It’s a ten minute walk, so you have plenty of time to ask me any questions.”

“Fair enough,” he said. They were silent for a moment. “So, if you to hazard a guess… what will Kakashi’s test be?”

“It’s going to be hell, that’s what.”

“I was talking more about the details.”

“Hmm.” Sakura feigned pensiveness, but truly, she didn’t even have to think about it. “Teamwork. No matter what it looks like, that’s the only way you’ll be able to pass.”

The sloth narrowed his eyes. “What do you mean, ‘no matter what it looks like’?”

Sakura frowned, wondering how to put it. “Well… he’s pretty unconventional, and he has a wicked sense of humor. If he can get away with humiliating you while he’s at it, he’ll go for it.”

“Humiliate us?” repeated the sloth, sounding perplexed. There was an unspoken question in his statement, but Sakura wasn’t about to answer anything until he freaking bothered to open his mouth. Instead, she said wryly:

“Yup. And if he can mess with you in the process, even better.”

“Okay, fine. Now I’m curious. What was your genin test like?”

Sakura chuckled ominously. He had no idea what was coming, did he?

“An absolute disaster,” she remarked. “Kakashi snuck up behind Naruto while forming the tiger seal,” the sloth’s eyes widened, “so Sasuke and I thought something horrible was going to happen and probably blew our cover by gasping or something. But instead, Sensei just poked Naruto in the butt and sent him flying.” By then, he was staring at her incredulously. Sakura couldn’t help but smirk. “So yeah. That basically sums up Kakashi’s modus operandi. He threatens you, attempting to get a thoughtless reaction, and then he does something to embarrass you and make everyone involved, including him, look like an idiot.”

The sloth’s mouth opened, then closed. Finally:

“…he sounds like a handful.”

“Yeah,” Sakura had to agree wistfully. “Sensei’s such a dork.”

“You don’t look all that bothered.”

“Well, not really,” Sakura said. In fact, though she’d never admit it, she privately thought that she wouldn’t trade Kakashi for the world. “You get used to it,” she settled on. “Besides, Kaka-sensei can be really sweet sometimes, and a fangirl to bat.” Her comment didn’t seem to have the desired effect, so Sakura hurried to add: “Not to mention, I get the feeling that he actually cares a lot about our team… even if he’s constantly leaving us with his bill.”

_Grrrr…_

The sloth chuckled. “Still seems too troublesome for me.”

“Hmp. Suit yourself,” Sakura sniffed. But then her curiosity got the better of her in turn. “What’s _your_ sensei like, anyway?”

“Uhh… well, the opposite of yours, I think,” he pondered out loud. “He takes us out for lunch – which is saying something when Choji’s involved – and he pays for it too.”

“I meant what he’s like as a teacher,” Sakura deadpanned, disliking the fact that Ino’s sensei had one-uped Kakashi.

“Pretty laid back” the sloth said with a shrug. “And he plays shogi like a pro.”

Sakura blinked owlishly at him. “Shogi? Isn’t that for old men?”

A huff. “Troublesome. I’ll have you know, shogi’s _art_.”

Sakura could tell she’d found his weakness. “Sure,” she said with a smirk. “Whatever helps you sleep at night.”

Now he snorted.

Recalling his absolute disdain for academics, Sakura added: “I hadn’t pegged you as the type to be into that kind of thing.”

The sloth raised a brow at her. Gods, was he too lazy for words, or what?

“Huh,” he said finally. “I could say the same to you.”

Her eyebrow twitched.

“I’m not into shogi.”

He rolled his eyes. “No, but you’re into the elemental equations of ballistics, apparently.”

Sakura gaped, mortified. “Wait.” Her eyes narrowed. “How do _you_ know that?”

The sloth didn’t even have the decency to look ashamed. “Ino took a stroll through your brain during the first test, that’s all.”

“What do you mean that’s all?!” Sakura yelled in outrage. She couldn’t believe the nerve of that damn pig…!

To make her aggravation worse, the sloth seemed unbothered. “Anyway. Thanks for the advise. I’ll try to keep it in mind.” And with that, he strolled off. Sakura wanted to run after him and sock him on the head, or better yet, grab him by his dumb ponytail and shake him silly, but she refrained. Barely.

“Who was that?” a new voice shook her out of her reverie.

“Oh, Stalker-san!” Sakura exclaimed. He was leaning on a wall, his hands busy with cleaning his new glasses. “Did you hear all that?”

“I did,” Itachi agreed. He had been rather bored, he had to admit. “And I agree with your assessment of Kakashi-senpai.”

Sakura nodded, remembering his initial question. “I actually have no clue.”

Itachi stared at her for a moment. “You don’t know who it was?”

“No…” she admitted. “I mean, I remember him from the Academy because he used to get on my nerves, but that’s it.”

“How come?” Itachi asked, curious about the ‘full Academy experience’. After all, as an introverted six year old, he had pretty much kept to himself back then, and all in all, his stay at the Academy had been rather short. In fact, Itachi barely remembered any of it, as he hadn’t really paid much attention in class, for the topics were all things he had already known. He had taken to cast a genjutsu to look like he was working and then proceeded to take extended naps. Or, if he was feeling particularly fidgety, he’d make a shadow clone and skive off.

“Why did that guy get on my nerves?” Sakura meanwhile echoed, huffing. “Well, it was his attitude, obviously.”

“Was he rude?”

“Very. He never bothered to participate in class unless, of course, to make snide remarks to expose the teacher’s slip ups.” She frowned. “Not to mention, he had the gall to just fall asleep in the middle. Of. Each. Lesson.” She stomped her foot angrily. “Talk about entitled!”

Itachi paled. Her description certainly rung a bell. “…perhaps your classmate was already familiar with the material?”

“I seriously doubt it. _But_ even if that were the case, that’s no excuse,” Sakura ranted. “It’s like he didn’t realize that his actions were offensive to everyone else!”

Itachi stared at his feet. “I’m sure he wasn’t trying to be…”

“Bullshit!” said Sakura. “It wouldn’t take a rocket-scientist to realize that his attitude amounted to calling everyone around him an idiot!”

It was only then that she noticed Itachi’s look of absolute dismay… and it suddenly dawned on her what it might mean.

“Wait…” she whispered. “Don’t tell me…”

Itachi was looking away in embarrassment. “Yes,” he confessed. “I skived off.”

Sakura gaped. “You what?!”

“It wasn’t my proudest moment.”

She continued to gape. “Hashirama’s soggy mullet! I can’t believe I’m friends with such a troublemaker!”

Itachi looked at her blankly for a moment. “We’re friends?”

“…”

Sakura continued to glare at him, and Itachi was starting to grow uncomfortable.

“Are you teasing me again?” he asked cautiously.

Sakura twitched.

“DO I LOOK LIKE I’M TEASING YOU?”

She looked funny, all puffed up and outraged. Itachi suppressed a chuckle, which only earned him another glare.

“Something funny?” Sakura snapped.

Itachi immediately schooled his expression, but not quickly enough.

Her eyes narrowed, Sakura made an ‘I am watching you motion’ with her fingers, then turned around and stomped toward her house. “Are you coming or what?” she threw over her shoulder. After a moment of hesitation, Itachi did, hoping for a change of topic but having no idea how to initiate it.

“By the way,” Sakura suddenly turned toward him and gestured vaguely at his spectacles. “How are those working for you?”

He blinked. It seemed his wish had come true. “They are… better than I had expected,” he told her. Actually, that was an understatement. In spite of his initial reservations, Itachi had come to adore his glasses. “Thank you, Sakura.”

She smiled at him proudly. “Glad I could help. Now you owe me big time for helping you pick those beautiful frames out.”

He did?

The second most important rule his father had instilled into Itachi as a boy was to pay his debts promptly. (The first had been to never owe anyone anything.)

“I already went to that beauty pageant for you,” he told Sakura. “That should make us even.”

“Nope,” Sakura countered. “Or did you forget? I let you learn the airstep with me, even though it was my idea.”

Itachi glared at her half-heartedly. He was sure he could’ve figured it out by himself as well. Though he supposed the idea _had_ been Sakura’s.

“Alright. What do you want?”

Sakura peered at him hopefully. “Well… do you remember that amazing flip you did when you were catching Goliath?”

Itachi did remember. It had been a frontal cartwheel combined with a clockwise forty-five degree spin. Its purpose had been to slow his jump in order to better catch the cat, seeing as Itachi had overdone it and channeled too much chakra into his feet during take off. Later, it had occurred to him that he could’ve just waited on the ground for the cat to fall. It had been a foolish oversight, though he was aware that his reaction had been normal, expected even, for a ninja. When catching a teammate, a ninja’s first instinct was always to do so in the air, for they and said teammate would be more vulnerable if the ninja waited on the ground. He was in the middle of reviewing his cat-catching performance when Sakura called out to him.

“Stalker-san, anyone there? The flip.”

“Yes, I remember,” Itachi said at last.

“So I was wondering if you could… y’know. Teach me to flip gracefully like that.”

Itachi looked at her with surprise. Of all the skills he had, flipping barely even registered as something worth learning. It could be useful to dodge, but only sometimes, and definitely wasn’t very practical in a serious fight.

“Why would you want to learn that?” he asked curiously. Perhaps he was missing something.

Sakura flushed. “Because… I want to be as graceful as Ino.”

Ah. He should’ve known.

“Alright,” Itachi agreed after a moment of thought. He did owe her, after all. “I suppose I can try to teach you.”

In his entire career, Itachi had never taught anyone anything, so he wasn’t sure if he’d be any good. Or rather, he was positive that he wouldn’t be. He had no idea how to go about teaching anyone to backflip. Not to mention, Itachi had spent most of his (very short stay) at the Academy spacing out. He barely even remembered what a teacher was supposed to act like.

“Sweet!” cheered Sakura, unaware of his thoughts. “When do we start?”

Itachi figured they might as well begin right there. “What kind of flips can you do right now?” he asked, mentally calculating possibilities.

Sakura blushed and looked down. Then she muttered something which, for all his ninja training, Itachi could not hear.

“Come again?”

“…none.”

It was said so quietly that Itachi still almost didn’t catch it again. But then the words registered and he stared at Sakura, completely taken aback. She didn’t know how to perform a basic flip? How on earth was she a genin then? Never mind that – how on earth had she made kunoichi of the year?

“I was talking about basic stunts…” he said hesitantly. “Like a zero-hands cartwheel or a back flip.”

Sakura sniffed. “Those aren’t basic.”

Itachi didn’t know what to say to that. Alright. Apparently she truly didn’t know anything. He remembered that he’d learned to cartwheel almost in tandem with proper a running technique, and he’d been three or four at the time. His mother had once even claimed that he’d picked up floor rolls as a baby – right along with crawling. Things like acrobatics had come quite naturally to Itachi, or perhaps not, perhaps his father had taught him when he was very small. But the point was, he could barely remember when he’d learned them, never mind how.

He did, however, remember how his father had taught Sasuke when his little brother hadn’t taken to acrobatics the way Itachi had.

At the time, Sasuke had been six and _still_ hadn’t known how to cartwheel or back flip, and was showing no interest in learning no matter how many snide comments their father had made at dinner. So Fugaku had lost his patience one day, confiscated Sasuke’s plush dinosaur, and told him that he’d only get it back once he could perform an acceptable cartwheel.

It had been a nightmarish week. Itachi hadn’t been there for all of it, but he vividly remembered the sleepless nights filled with Sasuke’s wailing almost as well as he recalled Sasuke’s small backside, bruised black and blue from his failed attempts. Upon seeing the bruises, Itachi’s protective instinct had made itself known, and he’d gone to spy on his father and brother as they trained by the lake. For an entire afternoon, one of his shadow clones had watched Fugaku methodically throw Sasuke into the lake time and time again. Sasuke’s job, apparently, was to pick up flipping in midair. Itachi had been too afraid of being caught skiving off from missions to reveal himself.

However, that night, Itachi had finished his mission early and gone to visit his little brother. He had found Sasuke crying in his tatami, his body completely bruised and his dinosaur absent. Naturally, Itachi had risked Fugaku’s wrath by sneaking into his parents bedroom and taking the dinosaur back for the night. With Mr Foggy’s silent support, Sasuke had finally slept enough for the rest of the house to follow suit. And two days afterward, he’d cartwheeled all the way to the Academy and back. He could recall Shisui’s amused teasing about Mr Foggy clearly.

Sakura, meanwhile, seemed to have gotten over her embarrassment and was looking at him expectantly. “Uhh… are you still going to teach me?”

Itachi frowned. “I’m not sure if I’m adequate for the job. I… wasn’t at the Academy when they taught flips of any kind.”

Sakura blinked at him. “Of course you weren’t. Acrobatics aren’t deemed essential to a ninja’s arsenal, so they don’t get taught.”

“What?” Itachi stared at her in befuddlement. “But everyone can do them.”

“If by clan kids you mean everyone,” said Sakura with an edge of bitterness in her voice, “then yes, I suppose they can.”

Itachi opened his mouth to say something, but couldn’t think of anything. Finally, he settled on: “why don’t you ask Kakashi-senpai to teach you?”

Sakura shrugged. “I mean, I guess I could. But… I guess I don’t want Sasuke-kun to know that I can’t do them.”

“What about Uzumaki-san?” asked Itachi. Naruto Uzumaki was an orphan, but Itachi was quite positive he’d seen him perform basic acrobatics, even if his technique was off.

“You want me to ask Naruto to teach me cartwheels?” Sakura asked, horrified.

“He is an orphan,” Itachi said. “I’m sure he must’ve taught himself. Perhaps he’d have ideas which could help you.”

Sakura’s eyes widened, clearly surprised. “I’d never thought about it like that… but… I don’t really think Naruto could help me all that much. The way we learn things is completely different. I need theory, he needs application.”

And Itachi didn’t need to know the boy personally to realize that he would be incapable of explaining much of anything. “But that still leaves Kakashi-senpai. You could ask him privately.”

Sakura frowned. “I guess. But he’s a pretty hands-off teacher. And… I was finally starting to impress him a little, I think. So I really, really don’t want him to find out either.”

She was talking about her inability to do a cartwheel as though it were the darkest secret out there. Itachi found her innocence amusing. He could understand her desire to seem capable in the eyes of Kakashi-senpai, as Itachi had felt it as well during his time in team Ro.

So he acquiesced. “I will do my best to teach you some acrobatics then, Sakura,” he promised. “However, I don’t think I’m well-equipped to be a teacher.”

Sakura smiled. “That’s alright. How did you learn, anyway?”

Itachi could only remember how Sasuke had, so he decided to go with that. “My father threw me into a lake until I could flip in midair.”

Sakura stared at him blankly, her mouth agape. “Sorry, what?”

“My fath–”

“No, I heard you the first time.” She was staring at him in shock. “Is _that_ seriously how clans teach their children?”

Itachi shrugged. “I would imagine so.”

“Wow, but that’s so hardass,” Sakura commented. “Somehow, I can’t picture Ino-pig being thrown into a lake. And she sure knows how to be graceful in the air.”

To be fair, Itachi couldn’t picture it either. “You could just ask her for help.”

“Over my dead body!”

“Alright, then I suppose we will have to go with the lake.”

Sakura blanched. “No, please. Not that. I’m scared of heights.”

Itachi sighed. He should’ve seen it coming. “Then what would you suggest?”

“Pillows? And a mattress?” Sakura offered.

“You want to practice in your room?” Itachi concluded.

“No way! My mom would find out if I did.”

“But you don’t have a garden.”

Sakura frowned. She didn’t. It was actually one of the reasons why she’d fallen behind in taijutsu so much – by the time kunoichi lessons ended, it was usually dark out already, a time at which her parents hadn’t let her leave her house alone until she was eleven. Not that she’d ever been particularly eager to, but how was Sakura supposed to go jogging or practice her aim without a place to do so? _Now_ she could leave whenever it pleased her, naturally, but that still didn’t solve the mattress problem. Where else could she find an unused mattress, anyway? Struck by inspiration, Sakura jolted. She knew exactly where. “I have an idea.”

Itachi cocked his head sideways. “Yes?”

“We go to Yuna.”

He frowned. “She mistreats her cat.”

Sakura rolled her eyes. “Actually, she’s very sweet to Goliath… most of the time. But the point is, she has a storage room with an old mattress in it. I bet we can get her to let us practice there.”

“What about the air-step?” Itachi interjected. “The technique needs to be perfected.”

Sakura nodded. “That’s true. We could meet by the lake as usual and then go to Yuna’s afterward. How’s that?”

Itachi nodded his assent. It was a sound plan.

Later that day, Itachi decided to bring flowers to his parents’ graves. He didn’t think Sasuke would suspect _him_ , of all people, if he saw them. So it should be safe.

Keeping this in mind, Itachi asked for directions to the best flower shop in the village until he made it to a tastefully decorated business. He knew that a lot of shinobi must visit it due to the high death rates that came with the job, so he figured that a genjutsu to conceal his identity might be counter-productive to his goal in this case, acting as a red flag. Ruffling trough his pockets, Itachi had found the bandana he had bargained for at Yuna’s, red with a black feather imprint, and tied it around his head. The item made him look very different and concealed his signature hairstyle, so he took it as a win. With these preparations complete, he entered the shop.

“Welcome to Yam – you’re Forehead’s cousin!”

Itachi stared at the person manning the counter… It was Ino.

“Is that going to be a problem?” he asked politely.

“Nah,” said Ino. “My feud with Forehead stays out of this shop. Uh, how may I help you?”

Itachi pondered this. Interesting. It seemed Sakura and Ino had their appreciation for money in common.

He spoke up: “I would like to purchase a bouquet of white carnations.” It was what his parents had bought when Kagami-san had died.

“We’ve run out,” Ino told him with a frown. “How about you take the lilies instead?”

Itachi shook his head. “No. It has to be white carnations.”

She hummed thoughtfully. “Remembrance, huh?” Her expression shuttered. “Did… did someone in your family pass away? Is Forehead alright?”

Of course… Itachi recalled. He and Sakura were supposed to be cousins. Ino must think that Sakura might be grieving. His lip quirked. So she did care.

“It isn’t anyone from her side of the family,” Itachi said out loud.

“Ah,” Ino nodded understandingly. “Okay. Sorry for asking.” She shuffled around the counter to look around the shop more thoroughly.

Itachi observed her.

“Sorry,” Ino said apologetically after a moment. “It really looks like there aren’t any white carnations left… but my uncle went out earlier to fetch some. He should be back soon.”

Hm. Itachi considered the pros and cons of going to another flower shop, but finally decided that the presence of Ino in this one was a blessing in disguise, for she already believed wholeheartedly in his fake identity.

“I will wait,” he told her.

Ino smiled. “Good. Sorry. Anyway, it’s a pretty slow day today, so I’ll keep you company.”

Itachi inched away, slightly appalled.

“What?” said Ino. “Would you really prefer for us both to stand around in awkward silence?”

He would.

“Anyway, let’s sit down on that bench over there,” she commanded, pointing to a rustic little bench in the inner part of the shop.

As she guided him there, Itachi looked around, amazed at all the colors and shapes around him. His glasses truly allowed to appreciate the smallest of details.

“So,” Ino prompted once they’d sat down. “What’s with the make-over?”

“I’m… sorry?”

“The glasses.” She rolled her eyes. “Those aren’t too bad. But that thing on your head…”

“What’s wrong with this?” asked Itachi, fingering his makeshift disguise.

“It’s ridiculous,” declared the blonde. “You’re insulting everyone who competed against you in the pageant just by going around looking like that.”

“I apologize.”

“Don’t apologize; take that thing off!”

Not knowing what else to do, Itachi reluctantly did.

Once the bandana had been removed and pocketed, Ino nodded, pleased. “Why did you even go to a pageant if you care so little about fashion?” she asked bossily.

Itachi frowned. Why, indeed.

He decided to reply honestly. “I was hoping it would help rekindle your friendship with Sakura.”

Ino stared at him blankly.

“What?”

“Yes. She misses your friendship.”

A momentarily surprise passed through Ino’s face. “But…” The blonde shook her head. “That’s impossible. Forehead rebuked all of my attempts to patch things up.” Her gaze lowered. “Every single one of them.”

That… was the first time Itachi was hearing about it.

“You tried to fix things?” he asked, not understanding.

“At the beginning, yeah…” Ino muttered. “Even toward the end of the year, I offered Forehead my help sincerely. Because… because I caught her sparring with some bratty kids who were teasing her, you know?” Ino’s voice wavered, as though the recollection of some memory had overtaken her.

Itachi, meanwhile, was silent as he mulled over her words. “Sakura declined?” he guessed, confused.

Ino nodded slowly. “She said she didn’t need my help. Like, like I was some… some…” She shook her head.

  
“That doesn’t sound like Sakura…” Itachi said quietly.

“I’m not lying!” Ino cried. “She just gave me back my ribbon one day and said we were love rivals.”

“I didn’t claim you were lying,” Itachi said. “But I believe there’s something missing.”

Ino sighed. “I don’t know. Why am I even telling you all this? We don’t know each other.”

“Tetsuya,” introduced Itachi, leaving out his surname. “Nice to meet you.”

Ino chuckled, though it sounded sad. “I already knew that.”

Then why did she ask? Itachi’s mind dismissed the question in favor of pondering the Sakura-Ino issue.

“Why did you and Sakura fight?” he blurted.

Ino’s mouth opened. “That’s private, you know.”

“I see.” He looked at her expectantly.

Ino huffed. “Why don’t you just ask her?”

Itachi paused. “She said it was over minutia.”

Next to him, a strange look crossed through the blonde’s face. “Now she says that?” she spat angrily.

Itachi recoiled, a little surprised.

Meanwhile, Ino had started to laugh bitterly. “It was over her precious Sasuke-kun. Hardly minutia, if the way she suddenly stopped being friends with me over _him_ is anything to go by. Six years of friendship – down the drain.” Ino’s voice betrayed how emotional the recollection had made her… Itachi could tell that she wasn’t lying. He didn’t understand anything.

Sakura had destroyed their friendship… over Sasuke? He readily agreed that his little brother was hardly minutia, but…

“No,” he said.

“What?”

“I don’t think that’s what happened.”

“Are you daft?” Ino exclaimed, tears in her eyes. “I just told you it did!”

Itachi exhaled. “You don’t understand, Ino.”

“ _Oh?_ ” she said frostily, wiping her eyes.

He carded a hand through his hair. “I think… I think Sakura would like to be your equal. This is why she initiated the rivalry between you.”

“What? But I just told you, we fought over _Sasuke_ , not–”

“When I talked to her,” Itachi cut in, “Sakura appeared very upset to have lost your friendship.”

Ino’s blue eyes widened. “She… she was?”

He nodded solemnly.

“But why did she rebut all of my attempts to patch things up then?” said the blonde. “Why did she antagonize me so much?”

_Sakura, what did you do?_

Itachi exhaled.

“I believe she wanted to prove herself to you,” he said finally.

“But… but why? What does that even mean?” Ino looked at him uncertainly.

“I don’t know why,” Itachi told her. “But I’m positive it’s the truth.”

“I guess… she might have wanted recognition?” Ino ventured. “I don’t know.”

“Only Sakura does,” he agreed. “But what I believe is true is that she wished for you to see her as an equal.”

“We were best friends!” Ino argued. “It doesn’t get more equal than that!”

Itachi remembered Shisui. When they had met for the first time, Shisui had been much more skilled in the ninja arts, and Itachi had felt a strong desire to bridge the gap between them, for his cousin to stop treating him like he was a lot younger. Which he was. But that was besides the point.

“Perhaps,” he settled on.

“Why would Forehead even challenge me over being rivals for Sasuke’s love?” Ino asked. “If it’s as you say, she’d have tried to beat me at taijutsu.”

A few months ago, Itachi would’ve agreed with her in a heartbeat, but now… now he knew that there were other things that mattered to twelve-year-olds more.

“Would you have cared?” he asked.

“Huh?”

“If Sakura had defeated you in a spar, what would your reaction have been?”

Ino paused for a moment, looking off into the distance. “I’d have been… uh, surprised? I don’t know. It doesn’t matter all that much.”

“Precisely,” said Itachi. “Sakura challenged you in the area she perceived you cared the most about.”

“Romance…” Ino stared at him with wide eyes, realization beginning to sink in. “All this time… did she always feel inferior to me? Sakura…”

Just in that moment, the bell chimed as a client walked in. “O-oh, welcome to Yamanaka Flower Arrangements…” Ino said automatically, her expression still distracted.

“It’s me, Ino-chan,” said a man from the door. He was wheeling a cart with various assortments of flowers within, including white carnations.

“I. Uh. That’s my uncle…” Ino told Itachi in a mutter.

She seemed shaken, so Itachi decided to give her space.

Giving her a nod, he stood up from the bench and walked toward the counter… to his surprise, with Ino on his heels.

“I’ll prepare the bouquet, Ojii-san,” Ino told her uncle. The man nodded, retreating to the back of the shop. Meanwhile, the blonde went about picking out the whitest of carnations and carefully arranging them into a beautiful bouquet.

She told him the price, and Itachi put the money on the counter.

“T-tetsuya-san?” Ino said quietly.

“Yes?”

She smiled at him.

“Thank you.”

In that moment, but in a different part of the village, Kakashi was busy coordinating things for his test. Or as busy as one can be whilst reading porn. The second stage of the exam would be taking place in two days’ time, and he had a lot to organize. Or rather, a lot of people to bully into organizing it.

“What do you mean, you need twenty jonin proctors?” someone shouted at him. The gathered jonin in the lounge were all staring at Kakashi in abject horror.

“Maaa, in an orderly line, everyone.”

They glared at him.

“You do realize that we’d be doing you a favor, Hatake?”

“Hatake, you wanker!”

“Damn that entitled bastard.”

Meanwhile, Kakashi continued to thumb trough his book. Eventually, the jonin stopped bashing on him.

“So? Any volunteers?” he asked into the silence.

“Oh, come one, Hatake,” drawled Genma from a corner. “I’m in – but only if you either take us to a strip club or invite us to drinks.”

“Sure, after we’re done,” Kakashi acquiesced gamely.

Genma glared. “I know what you’re doing there. The night before.”

“Excuse you?”

“You know the rules, Hatake,” smirked Genma. “Drinks or no deal.”

There was no such rule.

“What betrayal,” Kakashi said dramatically. “I’ll remember this, mark my words.”

Genma flipped him off.

Kakashi slouched, annoyed, turning toward the rest of the room. “So… anyone else?”

The general populace regarded him askance.

“What makes you think I’d do you any favors,” questioned a kunoichi, “after you dumped some woman’s laundry water on me?”

“Uh. You had a bad hair day?”

“You know, Hatake, that’s funny coming from you,” Kotetsu piped up.

“Very funny,” added Izumo. “Also. Quick question: what on earth for do you need twenty jonin proctors?”

“I suppose an experienced chunin might cut it,” Kakashi allowed. His colleagues glared. He added: “or… shadow clones?”

“Nineteen shadow clones is insane unless you’re a chakra factory,” someone argued. “Not to mention the killer headache they’d bring after being dispelled.”

Kakashi hummed. “If four of you make four shadow clones each, adding your real selves, that’d be enough.”

“Four shadow clones can ssstill be a lot depending on their duration,” said Anko from a corner of the room, her eyes narrowed into slits. “How many hours will the exam take?”

“Hm,” mused Kakashi. “Well, I was thinking… half a day or so.”

“Then that would be about six hours per clone,” the jonin from earlier concluded. “If you made four, that’d be a total of twenty-four extra hours being jammed into your brain once it’s finished. That’s a whole day, no kidding.”

Kakashi sighed, annoyed. “I don’t care whether you use clones or not. I need twenty proctors.”

“My eternal rival, I shall gladly aid you in this pinch!” Guy interjected suddenly. How he had remained quiet for so long was a mystery.

“I appreciate it,” said Kakashi. “But unfortunately, your genin will be participating in my test, Guy. I need impartial judges for this.”

“My rival, how could you?!” Konoha’s green beast exclaimed. “I would be professional to a fault! I’d even disguise myself to remain undetected!”

“What, with that fake mustache again?” snickered a chunin. He was referencing one of the worst kept secrets of Konoha, or in other words: the one (and only) time Guy had taken an undercover mission.

As he and the chunin began to debate the pros and cons of cosmetic mustaches, Kakashi sighed. This was going to take a while. But then he was approached by Anko.

“Uhh, Anko,” he greeted awkwardly, remembering all too well how he’d inadvertently snatched the proctor position from her. After promising the opposite. “Uhhh. How’s it going?”

Anko smiled. “Excellently.”

Kakashi stared at her blankly, expecting blows to come raining down on him any second now. Instead, Anko continued to stare at him.

“Uhh… can I help you?”

“On the contrary,” said the woman. “I can help you.”

Kakashi arched a brow. “Prey tell.”

“I could… mind your cute studentsss for six hourss.”

Kakashi blinked. He had completely forgotten about his genin. But Anko was right – someone would have to supervise them. “There’s no need,” he settled on after a moment. “I can just rope Asuma into it.”

Anko continued to stare at him. “I have nothing elsse to do,” she assured him with a guileful smile. “Besides… I do believe I’d make a… cutthroat …sensssei.”

“Right,” said Kakashi. Anko was acting a little strangely – so far she hadn’t said a single insult – but he figured she had a reason to be acting weird. She was mad at him, after all.

Huh. Who would’ve thought that the very woman who made sailors blush on the regular, would, if angered, revert to a puritan speech pattern?

Kakashi considered his options. He had no doubt that Anko would attempt to enact her revenge against him through his students, but on the other hand, the boys were tough cookies. And Sakura could use the experience. Besides, if it meant he’d get out of the brunt of her anger, he was perfectly fine with the arrangement.

“Maaa,” Kakashi drawled. “We meet at training ground nineteen in the mornings.”

Anko smiled gleefully, licking her lip. “Is this permission?”

“Do your worst.”

She cocked her neck at an odd angle.

“Oh, I will.”

And wasn’t that ominous? To be honest, Kakashi felt a little sorry for hanging his students out to dry… but not sorry enough to do anything about it.

“Maa, no broken bones, ne?” he said lightly.

With these parting encouragements and a wave to Anko, he sauntered out of the lounge. It was high time he continued with his recruitment campaign.

Meanwhile, Itachi and Sakura had arrived at Yuna’s thrift shop in order to borrow the old woman’s spare mattress and assortment of pillows so Sakura could practice flips in her storage room. Predictably, as soon as they had entered the shop, Itachi fixed Yuna with a highly displeased glare. Belatedly, Sakura remembered that he was sore about the whole dropping Goliath from a tree ordeal, but by then it was too late. They were both locked in a staring contest, or rather, a glaring contest, which by the time Sakura had finished setting things up to train, had evolved into an argument about animal care. She sighed with annoyance, yet began to stretch her muscles while she listened to them bicker back and forth over the proper treatment of cats.

“I’m telling yeh, Goliath can take it, boy!”

“No average cat can survive a fifty foot drop,” Itachi insisted.

“The tree was not fifty foot,” sniffed the woman. “’sides, my Goliath is no an average cat!”

“Sakura told me that he was dropped off the hokage tower, that’s fifty foot at least.”

“Hah. So what if he was?”

“This is inadmissible!”

“He got seven lives, he’ll be fine.”

“This is a myth,” Itachi countered.

“What would _you_ know?”

“More than you, evidently.”

“Psh. A pipsqueak like you? Yeh know nothin’ about the ways of the world.”

“I strongly object.”

Sakura, meanwhile, was attempting to contain her urge to punch something. “Will you two please stop?” she exclaimed, aggressively stretching her calf. “I’m here to learn back flips.” Just then, said calf snapped, and Sakura jumped up, howling in pain, then curled into a ball.

Itachi and Yuna stared at her.

Suddenly, Yuna was by her side, patting Sakura’s back, while Itachi coaxed her calf out of hiding.

Whimpering, Sakura let him have a look.

“You have pulled a muscle,” Itachi diagnosed. “But it seems to be a grade one muscle strain. Luckily, this means that, while it may be sore and tender, and there may be slight inflammation, you will not lose any muscle strength.”

“It still hurts,” Sakura muttered miserably.

“Lemme see,” Yuna interrupted brusquely.

Itachi glared at her and pointedly pulled Sakura’s calf further away.

But Yuna was just as quick; her bony hand grasping Sakura’s nee as she pulled right back with surprising strength. Itachi looked like he was going to redouble his efforts, but Sakura had had enough:

“Stop it. It’s painful already, I don’t need a tug of war to make things worse.”

Itachi glared at Yuna again in warning, but he finally relented and moved aside slightly. Yuna shoved him the rest of the way. She proceeded to examine Sakura’s calf.

“Well?” Itachi prompted irritably.

“It _is_ a pulled muscle,” the old woman relented. Sakura could’ve sworn she saw Stalker-san roll his eyes. However, she was distracted by a strange sensation in the chakra located around her leg. It was tingling unpleasantly, and her chakra flow was reacting by splitting around the source of the disturbance unevenly. Sakura tried directing her chakra straight toward it and willing the odd thing away.

“Stop fighting it, girl!” Yuna snapped.

Sakura looked at Itachi for guidance, and was surprised to see his eyes had widened. He was looking at her leg like it had turned blue or something. When Sakura looked back at her leg also, she found that this estimation wasn’t off at all. Because… her leg, or more specifically, her calf, was surrounded in an ungodly light, glowing blue-green in the dingy shop.

“What’s that?” Sakura asked with surprise. It had become apparent that Yuna’s hand was the source of the strange light, so Sakura wasn’t all too worried… but still on her guard.

“That’s medical chakra,” stated Itachi, not taking his gaze away from Yuna. “I presume you’re familiar with med nin, Sakura?”

She nodded numbly. She had red about med nin: they were shinobi which had such amazing chakra-control, as well as knowledge of the human body, that they could coax cells themselves into regeneration, repairing organ failure _and worse_ with nothing but their bare hands. She stared at Yuna in shock.

“How come _you_ can do this, Yuna?”

“That’s what I’d like to know,” added Itachi with narrowed eyes.

Yuna’s mouth parted into a toothy – or rather, toothless – smile directed at Itachi. “I told yeh, pipsqueak. You don’t know the ways of the world.” The fact that she did was strongly implied.

“Who are you?” pressed Itachi.

The old woman cackled, removing her steely grip from Sakura’s calf… which no longer hurt at all. “I told yeh, didn’t I? I’m Yuna.” Sakura was staring back and forth as the two began to argue yet again.

“Very helpful,” Itachi said sarcastically.

Sakura sighed. They were about to get into another spat, weren’t they?

“Stay out of my business, pipsqueak, and I’ll stay out of yours,” Yuna sneered.

Itachi glared at her, his eyes so intense that Sakura was worried they’d get all red from the lack of blinking.

Yuna seemed to be thinking the same thing:

“Glare all you want, boy,” she said boldly. “Those eyes of yours ain’t scaring me off.”

Sakura rolled her own eyes at their antics, deciding to continue stretching – carefully this time.

Meanwhile, Itachi was trying and failing to keep it together.

The fact that this… this shopkeeper of all people, knew his secret had him reeling. There was no way her choice of words had been a coincidence!

And yet all Yuna did was continue to glare at him, as though expecting some witty retort. Itachi was lost. She knew who he was. How? And why had she done nothing about it? Yuna, if that even was her real name, had already met him before, likely recognized him, and done absolutely nothing to stop a supposed criminal from strolling about. She hadn’t even informed any of Konoha’s military authorities of his presence, Itachi thought, for in that case the third would’ve warned him. Such was Itachi’s mental turmoil, that he continued to guardedly bore holes into the other woman with his gaze. Finally, she appeared to have had enough. Or perhaps she could sense an impending fight and was choosing to keep Sakura away from it, for she said:

“Come with me, boy. Let’s get more pillows for Sakura-chan.”

Sakura looked at them curiously but continued to stretch.

Itachi, on his part, followed Yuna wordlessly until they were in the main part of the shop again. Silently, Yuna closed the doors and shut the blinds. Itachi checked the storage room door. Shut as well. Just to be safe, he cast the highest-level privacy genjutsu he knew.

“Who are you?” he repeated again.

Yuna assessed him for a moment. “I am a retired shinobi,” she stated brazenly, gesturing around herself, to the dingy shop. “As you can see, I’ve left that life behind.”

Itachi narrowed his eyes. “You’re not from Konoha,” he guessed. Was she a spy? Or was she a fugitive?

“I’m not a spy, if that’s what you’re thinking.”

“How reassuring.”

Yuna glared at him. “Are you going to attempt to kill me, Uchiha?” she said in a very low voice.

Itachi still jolted at the sound of his name, glancing furtively toward the storage room.

“We’ll see.”

“So that’s a yes,” Yuna concluded. “Let’s make a deal… I’ll show you mine and you don’t show me yours, hm?”

Itachi ignored her and activated his sharingan. Quietly, he asked: “Show me… what?”

Yuna’s hands went to her obi. Without hesitation or squalor, she untied it, revealing chest bindings and a scar. It was large, spanning across her entire stomach and continuing under her pants, and Itachi could see chakra running within. Large, ugly, and very, very painful looking. The woman’s chakra network was an absolute mess of scars and mangled tissue everywhere. The fact that she was alive, never mind had enough chakra control for healing, was a miracle – and rather alarming, all things considered. Itachi felt a battle calm beginning to seep into his pores. He disliked death, but he was prepared to kill her if it came to it. Just who was this?

And then Yuna said: “Here,” and pointed at her rib cage. And Itachi _saw_.

Vestiges of another kind of chakra; raw, wild, untamed, were swirling over a certain spot in a certain pattern, almost like a seal that had been broken, and without knowing how or why, Itachi just knew. He stared at her, his eyes wide.

“Not so stupid after all, pipsqueak?”

“How… why… who?” Itachi could hardly decide which question to ask first. “How are you alive?”

She smiled; an old, weathered, toothless thing. “Didn’t you just see? I can heal injuries.”

“You used to be a jinchuriki,” he said incredulously, hardly believing it. There was no coming back from a bijuu extraction. And yet the woman was alive. How? HOW?

Yuna grimaced. “That I was.” Her eyes narrowed. “And from the looks of it, my successor is here.”

Itachi’s eyes widened even more, his mind reeling. Her successor? The new jinchuriki? Here? In Konoha?

Then he made the connection:

Chunin exams. _Sand_. Here.

But most importantly – why?

And then he knew just who was standing before him and almost took a reflexive step back. Rasna of the Shukaku. Rasna of the glowing sand. He couldn't believe she was alive. The kunoichi had been presumed dead for decades.

He settled on: “I see. Thank you for your candidness, Rasna-san.”

The woman’s aura darkened suddenly, and for a moment, Itachi caught a glimpse of the living legend that was standing before him.

“Rasna of the Shukaku is dead,” she stated, her voice gravelly and sharp. “That clear?”

Itachi stared at her for a long time. There were a lot of things he didn’t understand. Why had Rasna revealed herself to him? Did she want Itachi to know who she was? More: how had she recognized him, if she wasn’t even from Konoha? And why had the sand village sent their _jinchuriki_ here?

“Of course,” he said at last. He turned his sharingan off. There was much to mull over. “Shall we head back, Yuna?”

The old woman tied her obi again and went to reopen the blinds of the shop. “Go on ahead, pipsqueak.” With these words, she breezed past him and disappeared into a clothes rack. Itachi was reluctant to leave her out of his sight, but he should indeed go back lest Sakura grow suspicious. Having determined this, he took a moment to notify Karasu to watch Yuna for any suspicious activity and to warn him immediately if she left the shop. Then he turned back toward the storage room.

The hokage, meanwhile, was revising Kakashi’s written report about his test. Kakashi himself stood before his desk and was engrossed in his book… though the occasional shuffling of his feet betrayed the jonin’s impatience.

Lowering the report, Hiruzen chuckled. “Well, I have to admit, this is quite original,” he said with bemusement. Actually, that was an understatement. “I’ve never seen a test quite like this one.”

“Aa.”

“Hm. And it does seem as though all of the candidates should be able to pass easily.”

“Provided their brain does its job,” Kakashi allowed.

“So, Kakashi-kun. What do you expect the passing rates to be?”

Kakashi shrugged his already slouching shoulders. “I don’t know, but high. I couldn’t think of anything easier.”

Hiruzen chuckled. Trust the man to call his extremely refined yet misleading test easy. “You know, Kakashi-kun, had I known you’d come up with something quite like this, I’d have had you proctoring a lot sooner. With any luck, your test will bring our merchants some revenue.”

The jonin blinked at him innocently, though Hiruzen had no doubt he had planned every single aspect and consequence of it.

“Actually… that’s just half of it,” drawled Kakashi. “I was planning to give the other half of the candidates the same challenge, but with a different wrapping… so to speak.” He placed another scrawled set of instructions on the desk.

“Kakashi-kun, is this toilet paper?”

“Ah, well. A man has to make do with what he has, you know.”

Hiruzen nearly rolled his eyes, but he chose to read through Kakashi’s scrawled instructions instead. “Hmm,” he said. “Provided the candidates manage to complete this, we’d be getting a lot of work done for free as well.”

“Well, you know what they say. In for a penny, in for a pound.”

Hiruzen smirked. “I should’ve known you’d find a way to foist our own work off on the candidates.”

Kakashi shrugged flippantly.

“You know me: always happy to help.” He paused. “I was also hoping you could provide me with a place for this part.”

Hiruzen nodded. “I’ll take care of it. Expect a messenger bird with the pertinent details.”

The jonin returned the nod. “Then I’ll be going.” And without further ado, he moseyed out of the office. As Kakashi was opening the door, Danzo himself appeared on the other side. The two traded glares and then Kakashi was gone, Danzo taking his place before the desk. With a sneer, the elder picked up Kakashi’s previously delivered ‘reports’, wrinkling his nose at the toilet paper, and then threw them back on the desk as though the mere idea of touching the man’s toilet paper was disgusting to him.

“He’s outdone himself,” sneered Danzo.

Clearly it wasn’t meant as a compliment, yet Hiruzen chuckled along merrily anyway. “That he has, that he has. You asked him to be creative, and – well – I dare say he has more than delivered, no?”

Danzo looked absolutely disgusted, but chose not to comment. “So. While your pathetic little lapdog is busy with his inane test, I think it was high time we called our… special guest back for a meeting. Don’t you agree?”

Hiruzen narrowed his eyes. “Guards, leave us.”

The ANBU guards who had preciously been stationed in the premises were all suddenly gathered in the office.

“Hokage-sama.” The leader gave a respectful bow, which was mimicked by the rest of his squad, and, without further ado, they all trudged out of the office with military gait, except for the last one, who sauntered.

Once they were all gone, Hiruzen extended his sensory abilities to make sure no one was in the vicinity (his guards had unmasked their presences) and then turned back toward his fellow councilman.

“Hm. You want to call another meeting, Danzo?” Hiruzen prompted. “You do realize I’ll have to give a speech after the second exam?”

Danzo seemed disinterested in this. “Yes, well you can send a clone if need be. The oaf is finally here, so it’s high time we introduced him to our esteemed guest.”

“The oaf is my student,” interjected Hiruzen coldly. “And I had no intentions of introducing him to our guest.”

“Why?” taunted Danzo. “Do you believe your useless excuse of a ‘student’ would blow _his_ cover?”

No. He did not. The truth was, Hiruzen didn’t want Jiraiya to find out about the truth behind the Uchiha tragedy… and Hiruzen’s part in it.

“I know Jiraiya-kun,” Hiruzen said instead. “He is hotblooded to a fault.”

“You mean red-blooded.”

Hiruzen gave an irritable sigh. Sometimes he thought that Danzo’s only purpose in life was to annoy him into an aneurysm. Patience, he reminded himself.

“As I’m sure you know,” he supplied with annoyance, “what I meant, is that Jiraiya-kun would never agree with our guest’s mission once he found out… or with the injustice we have done to him. No – Jiraiya-kun would demand immediate action to be taken in order to reinstate him.”

“Oh?” sneered Danzo. “ _Fortunately_ for us, you are the hokage. Or do you truly have so little authority over your subjects that you can’t even shut them up?”

Hiruzen’s jaw clenched. “Shinobi may be tools, Danzo, but you’d do well to remember that they are human beings first and foremost, and thus entitled to their feelings. _”_

“Of course,” Danzo scoffed. “How thoughtless of me.”

“Besides for which,” continued Hiruzen through gritted teeth. “Even if I _were_ to clamp a gag order on him, it wouldn’t be the first time Jiraiya-kun has hidden secret messages within his books.”

“Ah.” Danzo’s lip curled with distaste. “And I suppose you read them all to find out?”

“That’s enough!” Hiruzen snapped, standing up so suddenly that his chair toppled to the ground with a loud _clack_.

The silence was deafening as the two wizened men sized each other up. One could’ve heard a pin drop… which rendered the sound of the window being yanked open all the louder.

“Hokage-sama! Is everything alright?” He turned slightly to find all of his ANBU guards bursting in through the window, save for one who took the door.

With this last arrival, the room darkened. From every which corner, shadows sprung up and began to swirl around the floor, finally settling around the hokage like a protective cloak.

“Don’t worry; nothing has happened.” Hiruzen’s eyes flickered toward the shadows. “And that is quite enough of that, panda. Do retract your jutsu.”

The shadows around him receded, migrating instead to settle around Danzo, moving in slow, dark coils.

The councilman twitched minutely, his face twisting. “But of course,” he sneered, staring ‘panda’ down. “The new addition to the ranks.”

The shadows began to tighten and unfurl into sharper, pointier patterns, as the occupants of the room tensed. Thankfully, panda ignored the provocation. A moment later, the ANBU guard were gone yet again.

The hoakge turned back toward Danzo. “So, about what we were discussing?” the councilman prompted.

Hiruzen paused.

“Ah, yes. The meeting.” He deliberated his options, taking a few minutes to make a decision. He wouldn’t lie, however; he was also taking a perverse amount of pleasure in making Danzo wait. “We will rendezvous with our guest whilst Kakashi is busy proctoring,” Hiruzen finally settled on. “But I do not want _him_ to meet Jiraiya-kun directly.”

“Then what?” asked Danzo impatiently. “That’s the entire point of the reunion.”

“We will arrange a partition within the meeting room and instruct our guest to conceal his chakra,” Hiruzen said, his voice authoritative.

Danzo was still for a moment, no doubt scheming something or other. Finally, he appeared to relent. “Consider it done.” Without another word, the elder faced away and made a show of limping toward the door. Once arrived, he turned around. “One more thing: the oaf better not mess this up.”

Hiruzen resisted the urge to throw a kunai at his ugly mug. “He won’t. Now, if you don’t mind,” he said cuttingly, “I have to contact our guest.” With emphasis on the ‘I’ part. Hiruzen glared at Danzo for good measure, seeking to convey his message: he and his Root lackeys better stay away from Itachi or else. His very much annoyed voice and stare-down seemed to do the trick, because, with one last, calculating glance at him, Danzo vacated the office.

And with that, Hiruzen was alone. Finally. He heaved a sigh, picking up his chair and flopping down upon it in a manner that was not very hokage-like. He removed his hat, using it to fan himself on the face. Why was it that conversations with his supposed right-hand man always gave Hiruzen murderous urges? Just when he was finally starting to relax, Kakashi of all people re-entered the room.

Hiruzen froze, hurriedly replacing his hat.

“Ah, afternoon Hokage-sama,” drawled Kakashi. “So sorry to bother you again.”

It was the evening.

“What is it?” asked Hiruzen.

“I just forgot my reports here,” said Kakashi lightly. “Had to double back to retrieve them…”

“Of course,” he replied, handing them over.

“Well, thank you,” Kakashi uttered as he pocketed his toilet paper. “I realized I may need this for later.”

“That’s fine. Though I hadn’t pegged you as the forgetful type, Kakashi-kun,” Hiruzen remarked, his eyes narrowed.

Kakashi chuckled. “Uh, I have selective memory.”

“Right,” the hokage uttered. “Was there anything else?”

Kakashi shook his head, strolling toward the door. Then he stopped. As an afterthought, he threw over his shoulder: “Maa, hokage-sama, would it be alright for me to join your guard sometime again? I’m feeling a little rusty.”

And then, without asking, Hiruzen just _knew_. Kakashi hadn’t returned to retrieve his report at all: the sole purpose of their exchange had been that. Very. Question.

Damn it. Because he somehow _knew_. About the meeting, about the lax security… It became clear to him that Kakashi had _witnessed the whole exchange._ And Hiruzen hadn’t sensed a thing. Goddamn. When had Sakumo’s kid gotten so good that not even Hiruzen could sense him? He was getting too old for this.

“ _What,_ ” he spat.

Kakashi, clearly sensing his mood, inched toward the door. “Uh, I’ll just…”

“You eavesdropped on our conversation!” Hiruzen barked, standing up and toppling his chair yet again. He was desperately trying to recall whether Itachi’s name had been mentioned at any point and coming up blank. _Hashirama’s bloody balls–_

“Ahh, I was just offering my assistance?” Kakashi uttered innocently.

“Then why was your chakra concealed until you entered this room?” Hiruzen asked sharply, remembering this detail with sudden clarity.

“Um, well,” Kakashi hurried to say, “I kind of saw this world-weary chunin who–”

“Save it.” Hiruzen glared. “Kakashi… how many times must I repeat it… Stay. Out. Of. This.”

“Hokage-sama–”

“No. I don’t want to hear it. I’m assigning an ANBU platoon to you.”

“Uh.”

Kakashi was clearly blindsided, so Hiruzen forged on:

“For your test. You requested proctors, no? Well. You’re _getting_ proctors – and babysitters.”

“That’s not nec–”

“And if I so much as catch wind of you being in a two mile radius of the hokage tower the day after tomorrow, I’m handing you over to Inoichi to dig through your skull at his discretion. Got it?”

Kakashi stared at him, wide-eyed. “You can’t d–”

“Excellent. Now get out.”

Looking absolutely gobsmacked, Kakashi slowly turned and shuffled toward the door. He appeared to be in shock.

 _Good_ , thought Hiruzen viciously. _Make_ him _sweat for once._

In another part of the village, Sakura was trying and failing to perform a back flip. Itachi had already walked her through the theory, highlighted the muscle groups involved even, yet none of it was helping whatsoever.

“What if I fall on my head?” Sakura uttered. “I’d die instantly.”

“That’s what the pillows are for,” Itachi deadpanned.

Sakura did not seem particularly reassured by this. “Yes, but what if I hit the floor instead?”

“I’ll catch you.”

Sakura looked at him dubiously. “But what if my legs aren’t strong enough?”

Itachi sighed. “You can channel chakra into them, much the same as with your lungs.”

And yet, the genin still stared at the mattress fearfully.

“Sakura, do you want us to stop?” asked Itachi after a moment.

“No, no… I have to master this, damn it.” Grounding herself, Sakura breathed in, as though preparing for pain. “Okay, here I go…!” And yet when she jumped, she barely did anything other than plop down on the pillows.

Itachi sighed yet again. They had been at it for over an hour, with no results. He was sure Sakura would be perfectly capable of performing a back flip if it weren’t for her own fear. He had already tried to cast a genjutsu on her to diminish her reservations, but Sakura had broken out of it instantly.

Itachi figured that if Kakashi were here, he’d come up with some sort of inspirational quote to give Sakura a push. Unfortunately, this was not the case. He tried to channel his inner Kakashi.

“You must be strong, like a kunoichi of the leaf, and look fear in the eye,” he said blankly. Unfortunately, this seemed to only depress Sakura further and she curled in on herself gloomily.

“I’m not strong at all,” she confessed sullenly. “And I’m a scaredy-cat to bat.”

Itachi sighed, crouching next to her. He knew well that words could move mountains more than any jutsu, but his own mastery of motivational speeches was a pipe dream. Even so, Itachi was a firm believer that actions could speak even louder.

“Sakura,” he pulled a soldier pill out of his pocket and held it out to her.

Sakura lifted her head slightly and glanced at him, then at his hand. “What is that?”

Itachi exhaled. “This is a secret pill which increases reflexes and ninja ability.”

Sakura blinked. “Really?”

No.

However, Itachi may not be good at motivating others, but he was a very convincing liar.

“Yes,” he said instead. “With this, you will be able to complete any number of acrobatics without fear.”

Sakura stared at the pill with awe and a little suspicion. “Why have I never heard of such a thing then?”

Itachi tried to come up with something she’d believe.

“They’re a clan secret.”

Hook, line and sinker.

Sakura seemed to immediately buy it. Almost eagerly, she got up, taking the pill from his hand. But then she hesitated, her green eyes meeting his.

“Are you sure? I mean, I wouldn’t want to get you in trouble with your clan or anything…”

Itachi smiled, touched by her concern despite himself. “Do not worry. I have more.”

Sakura smiled hesitantly. “Alright, well…” She put the soldier pill in her mouth, her expression souring immediately. “Gah!” she sputtered. “What even is in this thing?”

Itachi chuckled. “You’re going to have to bite into it for it to work.”

Sakura gaped at him. “Ew, well bottoms up, I guess…” She swallowed the pill, clearly repressing a gagging noise. And then, as a soldier pill is wont to do, Sakura’s chakra began to triple in intensity and quantity. Itachi knew that the effects only lasted for a short while, leaving the user very tired, but Sakura didn’t know, and her expression was amazed. No doubt, she was getting a rush of power right then.

“Amazing!” she cheered, positioning herself for a back flip. “You’re right, Stalker-san. I really do feel like I can do it now!”

Itachi smiled. “Why don’t you give it a try?”

Sakura nodded. “Catch me if I fall?”

He nodded again, and Sakura leapt.

Her resulting back flip was a little sloppy in execution and landing, yet it was undoubtedly a back flip.

“SHANNARO!” Sakura crowed. “I did it! _Yes!_ ” She turned toward Itachi, her expression exultant. “Give me five, Stalker-san!” She extended her palm to him as though expecting something. Itachi stared at it dubiously. She wanted five more soldier pills?

Seemingly annoyed at his lack of response, Sakura took his hand, raised it in the air, then hit it with surprising strength. Itachi jolted, cradling his hand as he stared at Sakura with wide eyes.

“What was that for?”

“Don’t sound so alarmed, boy,” said a voice next to him. “That was just high five.” Apparently, Yuna had returned from minding the shop. “It’s how some people celebrate things.”

Itachi frowned. “They hit each others’ hands?” He couldn’t imagine what people would get out of it… after all, a shinobi’s hands were crucial. Why would anyone willingly expose them like that?

Yuna rolled her eyes. “Never mind, pipsqueak. Girl, show me that back flip!”

Itachi frowned, even as Sakura happily complied and he and Yuna both looked on as she demonstrated a back flip a few times, each try with more confidence than the last. And so, the old woman and the missing nin watched together as the genin frolicked about the mattress.

“That’s good progress you’re making, Sakura,” the old woman praised.

“It’s all thanks to this pill St… Tetsuya gave me,” Sakura said with a smile. “It truly works wonders!”

Yuna arched an eyebrow at Itachi, who sighed.

“As a matter of fact, it does not.”

Sakura blinked at him. “What?”

Itachi pulled out his bottle of soldier pills. “These are ordinary soldier pills.”

“What?” Sakura’s eyes widened. “So… so they don’t give me the ability to back flip?”

Yuna chuckled. “Pff! You really told her that, pipsqueak?” She turned toward Sakura. “And _you,_ girl, did you truly believe such an inane story?”

Her comment went ignored, as Sakura was busy gaping in horror at Itachi. “You lied to me!”

Itachi nodded solemnly. “Yes. Now you can perform a back flip.”

“You still _lied_ to me!”

He smirked. “You’re welcome.”

Sakura stomped her foot angrily. “Cha! This is so unfair! I can’t even be mad at you now.”

There was a moment of silence, in which they both watched as Yuna left the room.

“So,” ventured Itachi. “Are you ready to try a back flip without the mattress?”

Sakura’s reaction was instant. “Uh. Maybe later! Let’s just practice other kinds of stunts for now, ne?”

Itachi huffed fondly. “Alright.” She was absolutely stalling, he could tell. “Then let’s start with the palm spin instead.” Sakura gaped at him.

“Wait, now? We’re continuing?”

“Of course. As I was saying: the palm spin. The trick for this one is…”

And so, they spent the rest of the day going over other different kinds of stunts, spins and other useful moves Itachi could think of. Why on earth Sakura kept glancing at him and asking whether he usually trained like this, he had no idea. Repetition was key after all. He made sure to impress this upon Sakura, and, needless to say, by the end of the evening, she was able to perform almost anything within the safety of the mattress. Itachi considered this acceptable, even though she still shied away from risking the stunts over solid ground. They’d get to that soon. Unfortunately, Sakura had argued that she was very tired and that she would be able to do it next day, so Itachi was forced to acquiesce. He would complete his favor to her then.

However, when the next morning came, his optimistic prediction proved to be wrong. Upon Itachi’s insistence, he and Sakura had renewed their efforts on top of the Uchiha lake this time, rather than Sakura’s much preferred option of a mattress and ‘taking it slow’. But Itachi was tired of taking it slow, deciding it was time to test _his_ method… without any results. Much to Itachi’s annoyance, Sakura was still scared about falling and breaking her neck, so, while she managed to perform yesterday's flips on top of the lake, the whole training exercise was generally a very miserable, very soggy experience. This frustrated him to no end, because he was certain that Sakura would have been able to perform all sorts of aerial acrobatics if only she got over her fear. Unfortunately, repeating this to her didn’t seem to be helping things. Sakura refused to channel enough chakra into her legs to jump high enough for them to practice chaining different types of flips together, never mind enough to get her to leap on top of a simple building.

By the end of the day, Sakura seemed very much annoyed, though she did assure Itachi that it wasn’t his fault. She was drenched, so were her clothes and hair, she had been the subject of very many observation’s and comments about her inner psyche and how she should rationally overcome fear, and Sakura was sick of it all. Not to mention, she still had to take Kakashi’s hell spawns for a walk on top of all that. Needless to say, she went to bed frustrated and without much to show for her efforts.

Sakura woke up with a headache, bruised legs and a growling stomach. Lately, she was eating a lot more than what was her usual, but Sakura figured that with all the exercise she’d been doing, she wouldn’t need to go on a diet anytime soon. So she set about making herself breakfast and a quick lunch bento, then getting dressed and brushing her hair until everything was perfect.

“Bye, bye, mom!” she yelled as she left through the door.

It was a cool morning outside, but she bore it with dignity. Sakura was so immersed in mentally going over what she’d practice until Kakashi arrived that when she actually got to the training ground, she had to do a double-take. For Kakashi wasn’t anywhere to be seen (no surprises there, honestly), but rather, in his stead was a woman. A scantily-clad woman with purple hair and senbon for hairpins. Naruto and Sasuke hadn’t arrived yet either, so Sakura quietly approached her, feeling slightly confused. It was only then that she remembered that their sensei was supposed to be proctoring the second phase of the chunin exams.

“Why, hello there,” the woman greeted, turning her neck to look at Sakura.

Sakura started. “G-good morning!” She looked into her eyes… murky, unfathomable, black.

“I’m Anko Mitarasssshi,” the woman said, her voice lilting oddly. “And I’ll be taking very good care of your team today.”

“O-of course,” Sakura agreed. “I’m Haruno Sakura.”

“Oh?” Anko smiled, though her eyes didn’t. “Named after our lovely cherry blossomsss, hm?”

Sakura shrugged, her eyes flitting to the sides. “I… guess.”

“The sakura flowers bloom brightly… Yet their life is very ssshort.”

Sakura nodded. “True, but that’s what makes them so special, isn’t it? They are ephemeral.”

Anko’s murky black eyes bore into Sakura’s green ones.

“It is the brightessst of starsss which burn the fasstest.” They were silent, as Anko’s eyes continued to drill holes into Sakura’s own. “Wouldn’t you agree… _Ssakura_?”

The girl’s lip pursed. “Well, _I_ like sakura trees,” she uttered quietly. “They remind me of graduating from the Academy.”

“Is that sso?” asked Anko slowly. “You must be so proud.”

Sakura nodded. “It was hard work, but I’m stronger for it.”

“ _Very_ strong… already – a genin.” Anko smiled. “Why don’t you tell me about your teammatess, Sakura-chan?”

Sakura blinked, looking away again.

“Oh, well, there’s Sasuke-ku… um, Sasuke, and, uh, Naruto.”

Anko’s eyes narrowed, a slow smile stretching across her lips.

“Sassuke, was it? I have heard he hass talent… oh, so much talent.”

“He does,” Sakura agreed. Her feet shuffled away on their own accord.

Just in that moment, a new voice broke through the silence:

“Sakura, who is this?” Sasuke himself was standing by the edge of the training ground, his hands in his pockets as he mustered Anko.

“Oh, this is Anko-san. She’ll be replacing Kaka-sensei for today,” Sakura explained.

The strange smile upon Anko’s lips widened.

“It’s a pleasssure.”

“Hn.” Sasuke glanced at Sakura. His eyes narrowed, but Anko’s gaze was transfixed upon him.

“Sso…” she drawled in an almost hiss. “You are the lassst Uchiha, hmm?”

Glancing back at her without moving his head, Sasuke walked the rest of the way toward them.

“Hn.”

“What’sss wrong, Sasssuke?” Anko queried slowly. “Ssnake got your tongue?”

“What ‘cha talking about, lady! It’s a cat! A cat!” Naruto’s voice interrupted suddenly. The final member of team seven had arrived. “Hey, Sakura-chan, teme. Whazz going on?”

“Kakashi isn’t coming today,” Sasuke supplied. Sakura nodded, her body angled away from Anko.

“Ohh, so you do ssspeak,” Anko remarked, peering at Sasuke with an eerie smile.

“Hey, hey, lady!” Naruto interrupted. “I bet you want to know who I am, huh?”

“There’sss no need to enlighten me, Naruto-kun. I know all about you…”

Whilst all of this was happening, Itachi was on the opposite end of the village, getting ready for his meeting with the hokage. As was Hiruzen himself, Danzo, and the rest of the elders. Even the newly arrived Jiraiya was far away from the hot springs, and thus, team seven’s location. Meanwhile, many of the usually patrolling ANBU had also been conveniently sent away for a few hours. Those few remaining were all stuck trailing Kakashi and aiding him in his test - for he, too, was very much occupied and far away from his team. No one was anywhere close to training ground nineteen.

An ANBU, unfortunately, had been assigned to Kakashi exclusively to make sure he wasn’t late to his test. Or left in the middle of it. Needless to say, Kakashi was not happy with this arrangement.

“Ma, ma, panda-kun, do we really have to go now?” he asked lazily.

“Uh-huh,” said the agent in the panda mask. “For the last time, let’s get a move on.”

“Hmmm. Maybe later.”

Whoever had been assigned to him was clearly young and inexperienced, so Kakashi figured he could afford to be difficult and indulge in one of his favorite past-times: the application of the ‘annoyance barometer’. It consisted in sampling an individual’s levels of annoyance from one to ten. In Kakashi’s humble opinion, it was an excellent test of character.

Meanwhile, his test subject in question was clearly losing his patience. “Guess you leave me no choice, Hatake-san,” he said agitatedly. “They warned me you might be difficult. So I’ll have to use my jutsu on you.”

Kakashi flipped a page. “That’s nice.”

It was hard to gauge panda’s annoyance levels with the mask, sadly. But Kakashi thought he was close to popping a vein. Poor fellow.

The ANBU pinned him with a murderous look. “Are you familiar with the phrase ‘light a fire under your ass’?”

“Sorry?”

“Think wind jutsu.”

Kakashi did not appreciate that mental imagery.

“Maa,” he drawled. He really didn't know what else to say.

Meanwhile, the ANBU was losing his patience and fast. “Just so you know:" he announced point blank, "I’m not about to fail this mission because _someone_ decided to read porn instead of doing his job.”

“Too bad.” Kakashi said with a smile. After all, he was so comfortable reading his book, sitting in the terrace of a quaint little cafe and basking in the sun… if the panda kid had a problem with that… well, it wasn’t Kakashi’s, now was it?

“Oh, come on!” exclaimed the poor guy. “Can’t we just go?”

“I would,” Kakashi informed him slowly. “But you see… there’s this lovely lady I’ll be rendezvousing, and I can’t very well stand her up, now can I? That would be so ungentlemanly of me.”

“You? Gentlemanly?” the agent grumbled. “Besides, do I look like I care?”

That was Kakashi’s prerogative.

“Maa, panda-kun, you are rudely depriving me of your facial expressions, so it’s hard to say.”

Panda’s reply was slightly delayed and incredulous: “You are calling me rude for wearing a mask. _You_.”

“Well, they’re so annoying, you know?”

The unfortunate agent twitched, his nerves appearing rather frayed. “Old people are weird…” he muttered to himself.  
But Kakashi’s keen hearing caught it. “Hmm?” he drawled. “What was that, _junior?”_

They stared each other down for a moment. Panda seemed at a loss of words, so Kakashi decided to change tactics. It was time to pull out a new weapon: the guilt trip.

“But what about my cute students?” he intoned forlornly. “I should visit them, lest they weep longingly for their missing sensei.”

“And what about _my_ mission?” panda huffed. “Sandaime will have my ass if you’re late!”

“Now that’s not my problem, is it.”

The agent was smart enough to know a losing battle when he saw it, limiting to glare at Kakashi for a minute straight. L

Finally, Kakashi decided to take pity on him:

“How about we make a deal?” he offered graciously. “We visit my students and then I go with you. Sounds like a plan, ne?”

“No!” The ANBU scowled, muttering something that sounded suspiciously like ‘one track mind’. “Seriously,” he said tiredly. “Why are you so concerned about those kids?"

Kakashi wasn't. He was just… invested in their continued survival, that's all.

Panda took one look at him and crossed his arms grumpily. "They’re _genin_. They'll live. It’s not like they’ll be fighting any S-ranked criminals, you know.”

“Don’t say it,” Kakashi cautioned, beginning to walk en route exam. “You’ll jinx them.”

“Look, I get it,” said panda. “But seriously: it's only for six hours. What could happen?”

“Hm, well, as you said…” Kakashi began to tick off his fingers. “My cute students could get traumatized for life by poisonous snakes, the ramen guy could trip and break his wrist, Anko could give Sakura bad wardrobe ideas… and then some, panda-kun. Or worse – your jinx could take and they'll be stuck battling against errant S-ranked criminals.”

The ANBU stared at him. “Um, honest question: do you think your life is a shonen manga?”

“Ma, junior, how innocent of you,” Kakashi drawled. What he didn't say was that sometimes he really did. A very angsty shonen manga.

Meanwhile, back with team seven and their very S-ranked criminal substitute teacher…

“Very well then, children…” A slimy tongue licked slick lips. “Let’sss get started, sshall we?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AND THE PLOT THICKENS!  
> So sorry for that cliffhanger guys... But this chapter is 15k already and I couldn't very well make it even longer, lol. With this, the second exam arc is officially starting! Buckle up, because shit's hitting the fan.  
> On another note... is it just me, or are people updating less and less lately? That’s so odd, right?  
> Anyway, tell me what you thought of this chapter, it’s pretty important to set up the plot ;)


	8. And the Games Begin

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Recapping: In one part of the village, Kakashi is readying to begin the second stage of the chunnin exams. In another, Itachi is in a meeting with Danzo, Hiruzen and Jiraiya (though Jiraiya can't see him). Finally, at the very outskirts, where no one lingers...  
> “Very well then, children…” A slimy tongue licked slick lips. “Let’sss get started, sshall we?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let's get started indeed. Get ready guys, because the action part of this story is officially beginning. Gaara, Shikamaru, Lee and more of the rookie nine will also be making their debut here.  
> And so... let the games begin!

Sakura stared at Anko as she worried her lip. Something about her… something about this woman rubbed her wrong. Very wrong. And not just something. Everything about her was unsettling. The way she talked, the way she moved, the way she looked at Sasuke.

She was off.

Sakura quickly lowered her gaze when their eyes met.

“So… children,” smirked Anko. “Why don’t we spar?”

Sakura stared at her teammates, alarmed. “Um. We – we were s-supposed to be practicing elemental jutsu…”

“Ah,” said Anko. “Best wait until your sensssei is back for that, ne?”

“We can practice on our own,” Sasuke cut in. Sakura nodded quickly.

Naruto was looking between them and the woman, back and forth, back and forth.

“Hmm… but I can’t help you if I don’t know your skill-set,” Anko coaxed. “I think we should spar… and you should go first, Sasuke-kun.”

She was pushing back. Why? The woman was looking intently at Sasuke, her eyes blackblackblack–

Sakura had to do something.

“But–” she started.

And then those black holes were fixed on her and Sakura froze.

“Yes?” asked Anko.

“N-nothing.”

Anko smirked.

“So then…” she drawled, wiggling her pinky oddly at the field. “After you… Sasssuke-kun.”

Sasuke stared at the training ground, his gaze hooded. And Sakura could tell. He had noticed too.

The woman was off.

Weakly, Sakura grasped his sleeve. Sasuke looked at her.

With her eyes, Sakura pleaded: don’t.

“Sasuke-kun? Are you coming?”

The woman was staring at them, her eyes wide and strange.

 _She wants him_ , Sakura knew. Who was this woman? Was she a pedophile? Why did she want Sasuke?

“Oi! Let me go first!” Naruto cut in suddenly. Both Sasuke and Sakura tensed.

“No–” Sasuke said, at the same time where Sakura shook her head.

Anko cocked her head, a slow smile stretching against her lips.

“No?” she repeated.

Wide-eyed, the Uchiha didn’t reply.

And then the woman smiled wide.

“Let’ss play, Naruto-kun.”

Naruto pointed at her. “Whatever, weird lady. You can’t beat me!”

Sakura’s grip on Sasuke’s sleeve intensified.

“Sasuke…” she said quietly. “She’s after you.”

Sasuke didn’t take his eyes off Naruto. “Keep your guard up, Sakura,” was his only reply.

Sakura frowned. “We can’t – we can’t let her get close to you.”

Sasuke didn’t answer.

Just then, Kakashi and his glorified babysitter were walking toward the designated test area, one reading, the other trying to peer at the book and failing. Finally, panda seemed to tire of this routine and spoke up:

“Uh, Hatake-san? Can I ask you something?”

“Maa…” said Kakashi. “Just Kakashi, please.”

The name Hatake-san reminded him too much of his late father… something he’d rather put out of his mind. He knew he’d get used to it if he heard it often enough, but Kakashi was a procrastinator at heart, and he’d rather postpone being called Hatake-san until his funeral day.

“ _Kakashi_ ,” amended panda. “Why are we going in the opposite direction of the large training grounds? You’re not trying to pull a fast one, are you?”

“Such accusations,” mourned the jonin. “No. That’s not where I’ll be testing those unfortunate souls.” Kakashi paused, remembering something. “And by the way, junior? If you want to come with me to the test, the mask has to go.”

“I don’t mind,” said Panda, shrugging.

Kakashi’s brows lifted without his consent. That had been… surprisingly easy. Most ANBU were justifiably wary of unmasking, even if the situation called for it. But as a new initiate, Panda’s behavior made more sense. Without further prompting, he unmasked, and Kakashi examined his features.

To be fair, the agent was fairly young for an ANBU. A bit too young maybe – sixteen or so. But then again, Kakashi wasn’t one to talk, as he’d joined the corps when he was fourteen, something which brought on thoughts of a former teammate who had joined even sooner… at the tender age of eleven. He forced the recollection off his mind – it wouldn’t do to dwell on such a farce.

“What? My face that interesting?” Panda asked dryly.

“Nah, just average.”

Panda’s eyebrow gave a satisfying twitch, and his lips pursed. Without the mask, he was so delightfully easy to read. Despite his words, Kakashi’s curiosity was piqued regardless. From the meeting he’d spied on, he knew that Panda was capable of shadow manipulation… and yet he looked nothing like a Nara at all; with tanned skin, blue eyes and most notably a buzz cut. Hmm. There was a story there, Kakashi could tell.

“So what’s your name, junior?” he asked, hoping for a surname.

“Akiha.”

“Maa. That’s like Akira from Icha Icha.”

And there went the eyebrow. “It’s _Akiha_! Goddamn!”

“No surname?”

The teen shrugged and didn’t answer.

“You know,” Kakashi told him. “That attitude is pretty cagey.”

Akiha rolled his eyes, crossed his arms, and looked away. Definitely cagey.

“Akiha Nara, I guess.”

“You guess?” Kakashi repeated in a deadpan. “You know, you’re a bit odd for a Nara.”

Akiha scowled. “And what’s the problem with that?”

“Nothing. Just making an observation.”

The teen glared at him heatedly, and Kakashi once again marveled at his ability to move just one eyebrow. Either way, he decided that the Nara’s backstory wasn’t any of his business and resumed reading. It was in such a fashion that the two continued to walk until they made it to the red bridge, team seven’s usual meeting point, which Kakashi had selected simply because it was closest to his flat.

“Wha…?” said Akiha. “You told the candidates to come _here_?”

Kakashi ignored him and continued to read his Icha Icha, as though all of the fourty-odd already present kids staring at him weren’t, in fact, staring at him.

“Quick question, Ha– Kakashi,” Akiha muttered as they approached. “How are you planning to fit twenty more guys on top of that small ass bridge, exactly?”

“Hm?” Kakashi passed a page of his book. Then he glanced up and examined the already waiting candidates a little more closely. All told, they appeared rather miserable.

“Maaa. You guys look a bit cramped up there.”

“No kidding,” Akiha muttered.

The candidates gawked.

In spite of this, none of them were prepared for the huge, tsunami-like wave that threw the lot of them into the river, courtesy of a mist ninja Kakashi had copied it from. The lucky few who had seen the tidal wave jutsu coming proved to be smart enough to follow suit and relocate to the Naka river. Good kids.

Kakashi approved.

Looking at this last group more closely, he noted with some interest that a red-haired chibi was leaking unreasonable amounts of killing intent at him. On her part, Yamanaka Ino was shrieking something about her ruined up-do, whilst the Inuzuka’s pup splattered water over a sand groupie’s face. Guy’s team was doing a very good job of pretending to be useless.

More: Kakashi observed that only a few of the candidates could walk on top of the water (Sakura-chan was sorely missed), namely: the chibi and his sand groupies, some mummy guy, and, surprisingly, all three of Kurenai’s students. The rest of the genin were stuck swimming.

Oh, well. It was hot. They could deal. Shikamaru even looked blissful playing dead on the water. Really, Kakashi mused, he had done them all a favor.

“What the hell?” someone shouted loudly. Kakashi momentarily peered up and found the sand-groupie girl glaring daggers at him. “What is the meaning of this!” she demanded.

He waved at her cheerily and then returned to his novel.

Next to him, Akiha was staring at him with raised brows. “Please tell me you aren’t winging this,” he begged faintly.

By way of reply, Kakashi wordlessly handed him his toilet paper. The Nara’s resulting gobsmacked was more than worth it. Ah, the small pleasures in life.

In the next few minutes, the last chunin hopefuls trickled in. It was hilarious how some of them jumped into the water without any prompting – Kakashi could appreciate mindless followers, he really could – but what was even more hilarious was how, those few who didn’t, promptly got thrown over the railing by suspicious gusts of wind. Hmm. What was funny was that it wasn’t Kakashi’s doing at all.

Finally, he counted sixty.

“Ja…” he greeted lazily, raising his voice. “Looks like we’re all here.”

Down bellow, genin of all sizes and colors began to mutter excitedly to each other.

“Oh. My. God. Guys, that’s the freaking copy-nin…”

“I got some juicy info on him in my ninja cards, see?”

“Gosh, that dumb Hatake! He ruined my hair!”

“Woof, woof!”

“Do you see him? He’s right there! Guy-sensei’s eternal rival! Right _there_!”

“…my potato chips are ruined.”

“RIGHT THERE!”

“Yes, yes, we see him, Lee.”

“Get that mutt off my fan, dog-boy!”

“What a drag…”

“Hey! It’s not _my_ fault Akamaru felt like taking a leak!”

Kakashi sighed. If they didn’t know how to be quiet, they weren’t chunin material to begin with. So he continued to read.

Next to him, Akiha rolled his eyes. “You planning to debrief them any time soon?”

Kakashi made a vague noise of assent.

“Oi! You!” the same sand groupie from earlier shouted a few minutes later. “Are we getting on with the exam, or what?”

“Sure, sure,” Kakashi said, lazily climbing on top of the railing and therefore drawing the attention of every single applicant within the river. An expectant silence extended upon the audience, until finally every single genin was eagerly awaiting his incoming speech.

“…Yo.”

There was a prolonged silence in which everyone continued to stare. And stare.

Next to him, Akiha resisted the urge to bang his head against the bridge railing. When it became apparent that Kakashi wouldn’t say anything, he ventured: “Umm, don’t mind him, haha. He has… first day jitters.” His remark was met with absolute silence, broken only when Kakashi ‘accidentally’ elbowed him over railing. This was followed by some raucous applause and a pregnant pause.

“Now what?” asked the mummy guy after a moment. “Are you just gonna stand there all day, copy-nin?”

“Maa.” Kakashi gave a long suffering sigh and made a handsign. Must he do everything?

Silence again.

Akiha, who was now standing upside down on the bridge, sighed and pinched his nose. “What he means is look at your forehead.”

More silence.

“ _What?_ ” came Ino’s lone shriek all of a sudden. She had discovered a sizable letter B plastered over her forehead. Likewise, the rest of the candidates promptly burst into turmoil. Some had numbers 1 or 2, others an A or a B.

Kakashi glanced toward the rioting children down below. How none of them had noticed his genjutsu and still expected to become chunin he didn’t know. Then again, maybe some _had_ picked up on it… but the majority were lost cases.

It took fifteen minutes for them to quieten again. Once again, they looked Kakashi expectantly.

“Well…” he said. “That’s it.” He waved. And then he poofed out of existence.

This untimely departure was followed by a bout of even more shocked staring, and then chaos. In less than a minute, the Naka river had descended into anarchy, as genin everywhere yelled at one another and/or cursed Kakashi’s ancestors.

Akiha, meanwhile, looked on in horror at the mess he’d been left with. It slowly dawned on him that Kakashi wasn’t coming back… and it was up to him to fix this. Hesitantly, he pulled out the toilet paper. He could’ve sworn it looked vaguely like a mission report earlier, so he stared at it in hopes of finding enlightenment. He did not find enlightenment, but rather a horrible chicken scratch handwriting and coffee stains. But if Kakashi had given this to him… he must’ve done so for a reason. And so, Akiha desperately braved the toilet paper and squinted at the first sentence. Miraculously, after two long minutes of mentally running through the alphabet, he deciphered it. Thank god. There were instructions on there. Feeling slightly faint, he jumped upon the bridge.

“Listen up!” he exclaimed, waving his hands around in hopes of catching the genin’s attention. No one was listening. “Oi!” Akiha shouted. Still no one was listening. If he’d kept the ANBU mask, then they’d be standing to attention, he thought dejectedly. But as it was, a short teen with a bald head wasn’t very respect-inspiring. Akiha scowled, staring at the flailing genin in despair. He did not regret cutting his hair, but now he kind of wished he had a wig. The only one who was looking at him was Shikamaru, and he was palpably still mad at him. Averting his gaze, Akiha looked around, mourning his mask and wig. And a megaphone.

Well, he decided at last, if the genin weren’t going to listen, he’d have to make them. Taking a page from Kakashi’s book, Akiha trapped the kids in a genjutsu. Once they were all snugly within the illusion, he mentally screamed: “Listen up, midgets! If you have a number, get your ass to the hokage tower asap. If you got a letter, then the hospital rooftop. Hurry up!”

Incredulous staring. Just standing around and staring.

What were they, gracing sheep? Akiha scowled. At least they’d shut up. “Get a move on, morons!” he shouted. Then, he sarcastically muttered: “God forbid you’re late.”

And without waiting around for another second, he turned tail and chased after Kakashi.

Ino stared after the bald kid incredulously.

“What the hell is wrong with Hatake?” she complained.

Shikamaru shrugged. Lots of things, clearly. “This is such a drag,” he settled on instead. “What do I even have?” He rubbed the imprint on his forehead with some annoyance.

“You’re number one,” said Ino “And I have the letter B.” Shikamaru finally understood the use of her ever-present pocket mirror.

“What about me?” asked Choji.

The Nara peered at his best friend. Then he sighed. “You’ve got an A… which means none of us are on the same team.” He frowned. “Looks like Sakura was wrong, after all.”

Ino narrowed her eyes at him. “What do you mean by that? What does Forehead have to do with anything? And since when do you call her Sakura?”

Shikamaru scoffed. “That’s her name isn’t it, you troublesome woman. And I asked her about her teacher, seeing as you weren’t about to get down from your pedestal.”

“Excuse you?” Ino crowed. “I could’ve done it, you… ugh! It was the perfect chance to make up with her!”

“I thought you guys hated each other,” said Choji between a mouthful of soggy chips.

Ino rolled her eyes. “Not really… We went to a beauty pageant the other day and… hey, don’t tune me out!”

Shikamaru sighed. “Yes, yes, beauty thing.”

“We went to a beauty _pageant_ and it made me realize that I miss our friendship more than I want Sasuke…” Ino said. Then she blushed. “And also… I kindamaybehaveacrushonhercousin.”

Choji blinked dumbly. “Come again?”

“Fine!” Ino exclaimed. “I _said_ I have a crush on her cousin! Happy?”

Shikamaru honestly didn’t care. Girls. He rolled his eyes.

And who even was Sakura’s cousin? A civilian?

“So you want to make up with Sakura so you can smooch her cousin?” Choji summarized.

“Aghh!” Ino blushed even more. “Shut up, it’s not like that! People are gonna hear you!”

She huffed, trying to will her blush away. _Boys._

“Aren’t you the one who’s shouting?” interjected Shikamaru.

Ino ignored him. “Shut up, Shika,” she said instead. “What did Forehead even say?”

“Ugh,” Shikamaru grumbled. “It’s pointless now, since she told me we’d need teamwork to pass, and yet we have been split up.”

“Hmp. That’s what you get for going off on your own to visit Sakura.” Ino looked around surreptitiously. “If _I_ had questioned her, she’d have told me more.”

“Or she would’ve shouted at you,” said Shikamaru.

“Hmp. Believe what you want. Anyway… that other guy who was next to Kakashi… Shika, – isn’t that _your_ cousin…?”

Shikamaru didn’t reply, and Choji subtly shook his head no at Ino.

“Fine,” Ino bit out. “Be that way!”

Choji sighed loudly. “Guys. We’re getting sidetracked here. The test, remember? We were supposed to hurry.”

Crap.

Both Ino and Shikamaru looked at him with alarmed expressions.

“Shit!” Ino cursed. “Choji. What are you waiting around for? We have to hurry toward the hospital.” With these words, she stormed off.

“Uh, yeah…” said Choji. “Anyway.” He clapped Shikamaru on the back. “See you after?”

Shikamaru grumbled intelligibly, to which Choji simply rolled his eyes fondly. “Good luck, Shika!” Having said this, the Akimichi took off at a jog towards Ino.

Shikamaru, meanwhile, rubbed his eyes tiredly. Team ten was a unit. Without each other, they would amount to nothing. What a drag. How was he supposed to pass this stupid test now? He didn’t even know what it was, but judging by Sakura’s description of Kakashi, he already had a bad feeling.

It was lucky that he had picked up tree-walking a few days ago, because otherwise he wouldn’t have made it to the top of the hokage mountain on time. As it was, when he got there, Kakashi had already begun to explain their task.

What an absolute drag. Shikamaru jogged toward the small crowd gathered around the jonin and Akiha.

“–find whatever is written on the paper,” Kakashi was just saying. “If you manage to bring it back in six hours, then you get a point.”

“Wait!” the creepy girl from Oto cut in. “What if someone else takes whatever we have to find first?”

“Ah, well. That’s hardly my problem.” Kakashi chuckled. “In fact… someone from the opposite team as yours will have to look for the exact same object as you do. It doesn’t matter who gets to it first… only who brings it back here in six hours’ time.”

Shikamaru frowned. So. A treasure hunt, huh?

But what was the catch?

“You said there’s a point system,” he spoke up. “We get one point if we bring our designated object here… what happens if we bring more?”

Kakashi gave him an eye-crinkle. “Good catch. You can bring someone else’s designated object and get an additional point – two if they’re from the opposite team – as long as you bring their slip of paper as well, signaling what their object is.”

“And?” the girl from sand cut in. “That’s all well and good, but how do we know whether we have enough points to pass?”

Kakashi chuckled. “Simple. You don’t. At the end of the exercise, I will calculate the arithmetical average between the person with most points and the one with the least points within each team. Whoever is bellow their team’s average fails.” He crinkled his eyes at them. “The rest of you will pass.”

Shikamaru suppressed a scowl. That left so many unknown variables. How was he supposed to know how many points he even needed? He glanced towards the rest of his group and wasn’t at all surprised by his bad luck. It just figured that he would be stuck without anyone he knew, and instead get all of the bitchier powerhouses from the other villages.

Great.

Shikamaru eyed the members of group one critically. He could see one of the sound guys, Zaku or something, and the intimidating blonde from the sand village. So far, the only person he even remotely recognized was that one girl who had been one year above him in the Academy… Ten? Either way, he knew immediately that he was in for a bumpy ride.

And the members of the other group weren’t helping matters either: he could see Kiba and his dog, clearly those two would have a huge advantage in terms of tracking, as well as the scary-looking redhead from Suna whom he’d immediately had a bad feeling about. There was also the sound girl and another guy from sound… Yoroi or something like that.

“Maaa, if there are no more questions,” Kakashi instructed, “then split up by teams.” Once this was done, he chugged a plastic bag with a number two scrawled upon it in cheap, black marker at the sound girl, then threw Shikamaru another bag with a barely legible one, hitting him in the face.

“Time to draw from the hat,” Kakashi announced cheerfully. Retrieving it from his face gingerly, Shikamaru eyed the cheap plastic bag and rolled his eyes. He was supposed to pass it around to his team, right?

What a drag.

Without thinking much, he shuffled to the side, to which the supposed members of group one followed. He barely had time to retrieve a scrap of paper from within the bag when the sand kunoichi was already yanking it of his hands. Rude.

Shikamaru turned away and carefully eyed what he had drawn. It was a carelessly-cut piece of paper. Keeping it safe would be another test entirely, he knew. If someone attacked him with a fire jutsu or even a wind or water one, he’d be in trouble.

Gingerly unfolding the little note, Shikamaru was appalled by the horrible scrawl that greeted him.

_Burgundy cucumbers._

He squinted at it. He must’ve read wrong. But as much as he strained to read the horrible chicken scratch, the handwriting didn’t change. Well damn.

Burgundy cucumbers.

Shikamaru looked around and found the rest of the candidates with equally pinched expressions on their faces. At least he wasn’t alone in this insanity.

Unexpectedly, sudden footsteps – and many of them – came pounding against the ground and closing in on them up the hill, until about twenty people had arrived. Shikamaru realized that these must be the genin candidates who couldn’t tree-walk and had been forced to run up the entire mountain rather than take the shortcut through the stone-faces.

“So-sorry we’re late!” panted one applicant.

“Hm?” asked Kakashi with disinterest. “I’m sure the members of your group can fill you in.”

“B-but…” the newly-arrived genin glanced around uncertainly. Shikamaru could sympathize. There was no way anyone would be telling them what the test was about.

There were fifteen applicants per group, but until then, only four of each group had heard the instructions. That meant that over half of the competition was out of the running already.

“Oi,” someone spoke up suddenly. “Copy-nin.” The voice was gravelly and should’ve had no place belonging to a twelve-year old. Upon turning around, Shikamaru placed the sand redhead as the speaker.

“Rude,” remarked Kakashi. “What do you want, chibi?”

“It’s Gaara. Of the desert.” The redhead’s chilling eyes narrowed. “Tell me, copy-nin… why do I have to find something that doesn’t exist?”

Kakashi hummed. “It does exist, chibi. But there’s only one of each object… and a proctor guarding it.”

Gaara’s eyes narrowed, lifting his slip of paper ominously. From his vantage point, Shikamaru froze. “And where am I supposed to look for… burgundy cucumbers?” Gaara rasped threateningly.

Meanwhile, Shikamaru was cursing all deities out there for pitting him against that particular psychopath of all people. He had no idea what the redhead’s skills were (besides for forming creepy eyeballs out of… earth?) but Shikamaru was quite aware that he was bad news.

“Mmmm…” said Kakashi. “Not to judge, chibi-kun, but shouldn’t you keep the ingredient you’re looking for a secret?”

Gaara glared. “It doesn’t matter to me.”

“Tch,” someone else spat. It was the sound guy, Zaku. “You too, huh, Gaara?” He then glared at Kakashi. “Who do you think we are, copy-nin? I’m not here to get your fucking groceries.”

“Hm? But no one is forcing you to do anything, see?” Kakashi replied with an eye-crinkle smile. “Besides, the groceries are mostly for my dogs.”

Silence.

Shikamaru facepalmed. Well, Sakura had been right about one thing. Hatake Kakashi was clearly enjoying to yank on the guy’s chain. Zaku looked like he was about to implode.

“Are you alright?” Kakashi questioned. “Your face is getting a little red.”

Zaku had indeed acquired a tomato-like complexion. “Fuck you!” he yelled.

“I’d rather not,” commented Kakashi.

The crowd looked back and forth incredulously.

“Oi, copy-nin,” the blonde sand kunoichi suddenly spoke up.

“Hmm?”

“When you say there will be proctors, what exactly do you mean?” she asked sharply. “How do you expect us to track them down?”

That was a good question.

Kakashi smiled. “Well… where do you usually go grocery shopping?”

The blonde stared at him her mouth opening and closing. “U-uh… the market?”

“Bingo.” Kakashi turned to give the crowd at large a piece sign. He stood straighter, until he had everyone’s attention. “Now that we’re all here: one word of advice… Each of your ingredients will cost one ryo.” Kakashi surveyed them all, narrowing his eyes. “But make no mistake, guys… should you steal – you’re out.”

“Why would we steal anything when the cost is one ryo?” Kiba asked brazenly.

Kakashi smiled. “Because the proctors have instructions not to sell anything to you.”

“But then…!”

“Best get creative,” he chirped. “Happy hunting!”

And with these cheerful words, the infamous copy-nin and resident troll disappeared in a whirlwind of leaves.

Calling this a drag would be an understatement.

Next to the spot Kakashi had disappeared from, the previously silent Akiha rolled his eyes. “What the drama queen means is… get a move on, squirts. And best not steal.” Having said this, he then sunshined away as well, though less glamorously than Kakashi.

The genin exchanged wide-eyed glances.

Suddenly, someone screamed: “HAAA!”

A huge gust of wind then whirled toward them at dangerous speeds. It was completely unexpected, throwing many of the genin right off the hokage mountain. Most of them were holding onto the rock faces for dear life or screaming and running for cover. Shikamaru, on his part, had been one of the few who had managed to avoid the miniature hurricane in time. He glanced around. Who had…?

Never mind.

There, standing exactly where Kakashi had disappeared, was the sand kunoichi. She was holding a gigantic fan in her hand that left no questions as to who had just literally blown away the competition. Making use of this distraction, the sand kunoichi hijacked team one’s plastic bag and took off running.

Shikamaru could’ve facepalmed.

Fantastic.

At least now he knew what the metallic _thing_ she carried was: one scary behemoth of a fan. And thanks to Shikamaru’s oversight, now the blonde was incredibly ahead. Crap. She was bound to have at least nine of the fifteen paper scraps… which would up the average number of points required to pass by a lot. Damn.

“W-wait!” the unlucky members of team one without a scrap of paper shouted at her. “Hey! Blondie!” They may not know the rules of the test, but it wouldn’t take a genius to realize that the Suna kunoichi was sabotaging them. Poor guys.

Shikamaru, on his part, used the last few seconds of chaos to conceal himself in a corner and memorize who belonged to each team. He had not missed that, with Kakashi’s departure, his genjutsu had been dispelled as well. Meaning, distinguishing between each team would be hard. Information was the most valuable currency out there, and he needed to know who was from team two; their slips of paper would get him more points. He also spared a glance toward the precipice half the competition had fallen down. It was only starting to register now that that was a kilometer long drop. Holly shit. Had the sand kunoichi just _killed_ over fifteen people? He wasn’t about to go to the edge and check lest someone push _him_ down, but Shikamaru really hoped that those who’d fallen were alright. Hopefully Kakashi had some kind of security measure in place. Though knowing the man, he probably didn’t. Damn it.

  
  


Sakura stared at the bruised and battered Naruto lying on the ground.

Only Sasuke and her were left.

The eerie woman had crouched next to the unconscious blonde. “Hm, a training misssshap…” she whispered. “I sssuppose he musst have chakra exhausstion.”

No, she was lying, thought Sakura.

Naruto never had chakra exhaustion. Never. She knew because of Wave. And he had passed out suddenly…

Was it just her, or had the woman lifted his jacket right before he’d fainted? Had Sakura’s eyes betrayed her, or had the woman truly pawed at Naruto’s stomach right then? The angle had been off, but Sakura had been using her hand mirror to monitor the fight…

She could feel her own stomach sink with horror. She had to accept it. The woman had touched Naruto’s stomach, had done something… something perverted, and then he’d blacked out.

There was no doubt about it: she was a pedophile who wanted to… to do things to her teammates! Sakura shivered, terrified beyond belief. Where was everyone who could help? Why wasn’t Kakashi here? Or at least a clone? Where was Shi-chan? Stalker-san?

If they were here, they wouldn’t allow Anko to touch Sasuke next.

But they were away. Sakura was alone in this. She didn’t know whether Sasuke had realized the gravity of their situation, she didn’t know whether the woman knew Sakura was onto her, but what she did know was that she, Sakura, well… she – she was a girl. That meant she was a little safer, right? It meant Anko wouldn’t leer at her like she did at Sasuke and Naruto. But it also meant one thing: now that Naruto was out of commission, it was Sakura’s turn to face the pedophile.

She had to. For Sasuke-kun.

That didn’t make the thought any easier to stomach.

Sakura closed her eyes, wishing she could just open them and wake up in her bed. She knew what she had to do. She had to waste time until Kakashi’s dumb test was over or someone came. Trying to run, she could tell, would be futile.

“Well… Sasssuke?” the woman said slowly. “I believe it isss your turn now, hm?”

Sakura felt goosebumps raise violently under her skin.

But she had to do this. She had to. She had to. She had to.

“No…”

No one looked at her.

_Come on, Sakura!_

“No,” she stated again, louder this time.

The woman leered at her. “Oh?”

“I… I’ll spar with you,” Sakura told her, her tone an attempt at fiercness.

“Sakura, no,” Sasuke contradicted. “I will–”

“Stay where you are,” Sakura snapped. “Sasuke-kun… Sasuke. I’ll be fine.”

She had to be. After all, she – she was a girl.

“Alright then,” drawled the woman, ominous mirth in her eyes. “I suppose I can leave you for dessert, hmm, Sasuke?”

Sakura shivered violently.

“Now, cherry blossom…” Anko said, beckoning her with a ‘come hither’ motion. “Let’ss see how starkly you bloom. And how quickly you burn.”

Biting her lip, Sakura approached, slowly, hesitantly. She had seen what Naruto’s fight had looked like. She knew she didn’t stand a chance…

Shit.

Fifteen minutes after the debriefing saw Shikamaru hurriedly entering the market district. As he walked, the Nara considered his options. He could try to find the burgundy cucumbers, but only if he was sure Gaara wasn’t in the vicinity. He didn’t fancy getting into a fight with an enemy he knew nothing about. Then there was the sand kunoichi. Shikamaru at least knew her main skill… but the fact that she could easily brandish her behemoth of a fan and chug twenty odd people off a cliff without feeling any remorse wasn’t very encouraging either.

The Nara sighed, lamenting his troublesome situation. He could also try to take paper scraps from the only other genin who even had a paper, but he didn’t fancy fighting the cocky sound nin either, and the Ten-something girl had a whole year of experience over him. Besides, Shikamaru didn’t like to fight women if he could help it.

So who was left? From what he had seen, Gaara had copied the suna kunoichi in strategy and had taken off with his team’s bag as well. The only candidates from group two who had gotten a piece of paper had been Kiba, the sound girl and the Yoroi guy.

Kiba was out because he and his dog would be two against one, and he could outlast Shikamaru easily. And the two sound nin were both creepy… something about them was definitely fishy, Shikamaru’s gut told him. So what now?

He sighed, entering a stationery shop.

“Can I help you, young man?” asked the shopkeeper.

Shikamaru nodded. “Do you have anything water proof I can wrap this in?” he retrieved his scrap of paper, placing it on the counter.

The shopkeeper nodded and even offered to do it for him, throwing a pointed glance at the written _burgundy cucumbers_.

“May I ask what this is for?” he questioned as Shikamaru was paying.

“It’s too troublesome to recount…” the Nara replied, scratching his cheek.

Wait. Shikamaru suddenly realized something essential. This was one of Konoha’s only stationery shops, providing materials for the Academy. The next one was a few kilometers away… he smirked to himself.

“Uh, do you mind if I buy all of your waterproof wrappers?”

The man blinked at him owlishly. “These are the last two rolls.”

“I’ll take them.”

Meanwhile, Kakashi and Akiha had already made it to the hospital rooftop, which was further away.

Copious clotheslines had been arranged upon the rooftop and were fluttering calmly in the breeze.

The ANBU, Akiha, eyed them curiously. He had never seen so many sheets in a single space. An astounding amount of them had been placed upon the clotheslines… and they looked suspiciously dirty, for having supposedly been washed. What was even more curious about this arrangement was that half of the sheets were green while the other half white, and they had been sorted by color, partitioned at the exact middle. When he counted exactly thirty of them total, fifteen of each color, Akiha began to suspect something.

“Don’t tell me you’re making those poor brats do laundry?” he asked flatly.

Kakashi continued to peruse his book, but his non-reply said it all.

“Oi.”

“Maa. You guessed it.”

Akiha stared at him with horror.

“Madara’s pointy nose,” he muttered. “Those poor sods. What are you even testing them for? How to play house?”

Madara’s pointy nose? That was a good one. Kakashi took note for further reference.

“Sigh…” he said blandly. “Look underneath the underneath more, junior.”

“Did you just say ‘sigh’?” Akiha asked incredulously. “The rumors are true. You’re completely off your rocker.”

“It’s called genius.”

“I think you meant delusion.”

Kakashi fought to conceal his annoyance. Since he’d left the poor agent alone at the bridge, the teen had lost all respect for him and was making a point to be as annoying as possible in revenge. This, in turn, did not suit Kakashi at all, who found he disliked the taste of his own medicine quite a lot. He had never been a fan of hospitals, really. So, after a moment of consideration, he decided to tackle the matter head on:

“Maaa… show some respect to your elders, panda-kun.”

It was worth a shot.

“I supposed you’re right,” Akiha told him after a moment. “About the elder part.”

“Excuse you?” Kakashi said with affront. “I’m in my _prime_.”

“Dude. Your hair begs to differ.”

“At least I _have_ hair.” Then he looked pointedly at Akiha… and the reaction was instantaneous. Yes, Kakashi thought gleefully, watching as the ANBU self-consciously touched his scalp. Victory at last.

“Hey! That’s a low blow,” the teen complained, trying to regain his professionalism. “Besides, this is a buzz cut. I’ve got stubble, look!”

Kakashi eyed his bald head. “Right.”

“I’m serious!” Akiha exclaimed. “Besides, this haircut has advantages.”

“That’s nice.”

“Hmp,” the ANBU muttered hotly. “You don’t even know how heavenly it feels like when it rains on your head, do you, _old man_?”

Couldn’t he go back to admiringly calling him Hatake-san? Kakashi was already mourning the title.

“I must be really missing out,” he replied blandly.

Akiha took him at face-value, nodding sagely. Then he went into a tangent about the advantages of being hairless which Kakashi tuned out. This must be the hokage’s punishment, he thought mournfully. Couldn’t he have roped someone else into putting up with this guy? Like Anko. Anko would be great. Which prompted the thought of how his genin were fairing…

“So…” he interrupted the rant. “How about you go babysit my kids, panda-kun, and leave me here all by my lonesome? Sounds like fun, right?”

“Nice try.”

Kakashi sighed.

Just then, the first candidates began to show up. Mini Guy arrived first and with a mini dynamic entrance, followed by the Hyuga kid, the other Hyuga kid, mummy guy, some wanker who kept pushing up his glasses, and the sand groupie who dressed like a cat.

All of them had sensibly climbed up the building with chakra… though a minute later, Yamanaka Ino broke the trend by going in through the door. She had apparently wheedled a nurse into lending her and her teammate the keys to the rooftop. Kakashi glanced around. Counting eight people, like before, he decided it was time to start.

“You.” He gestured vaguely a team A. “You guys get the white sheets.” They all stared at him blankly. “Team B, you get blue.”

“It’s teal!” Ino cut in.

Kakashi ignored her. “Each of you start with one sheet. Your job is to clean it.”

“Excuse me!” Mini Guy cut in. “Do we get extra points if we use fabric softener?”

“Erm…” Kakashi was stunned into silence for a moment. “Just clean it.”

“Yosh! I will apply the power of youth to this task!”

“Shut up, weirdo,” the cat groupie cut in. He really did look like he was going to a parade, mused Kakashi.

“Copycat!” he exclaimed, pointing at Kakashi. “What do you mean we have to clean? How do we even do that?”

Kakashi smiled. “You didn’t let me finish yet, _kitty cat_.”

The groupie popped a vein. “It’s supposed to be a dragon!”

“Ah.”

Apparently this group contained all the… special cases. Kakashi approved.

“You can clean it wherever you want,” he drawled blandly. “I don’t care.”

“But what about those of us staying at an inn!” exclaimed the sand groupie. “Where are we supposed to find a maid?”

Everyone stared at him.

“Rich kids…” the mummy muttered. “But he has a point, copy nin. Where are we supposed to find a washing machine?”

Couldn’t they just infiltrate some unsuspecting old lady’s house? Was that truly so difficult? Kakashi sighed. “Well, that’s for me to know and for you to figure out.”

“I’m pretty sure they won’t,” Akiha muttered next to him.

“What _ever!_ ” Ino cut in. “Who freaking cares?” She glared at Kakashi. “So, oddball. Say we wash your dumb sheets. And we dry them, I’m guessing. Then what?”

“You dry them,” Kakashi agreed, “and then you deliver them to me in six hours on top of the hokage mountain.”

Akiha decided in that moment to interrupt. “I think I’m starting to understand…” he said with a smirk. “Kids. Look, I’ll make this quick. For every clean sheet you deliver, you get one point. If it belongs to the opposing team, you get two. And the only way to pass? It’s all in the average.” He snickered, turning toward Kakashi. “Am I right?”

Kakashi’s eyebrow rose. “So you do understand…” He sighed. Now he had gone and given those kids a hint about the true test. Oh, well. “What my, uh, assistant means is, once the exercise is done, I will calculate the arithmetical average for group A and group B,” explained Kakashi, “picking the team members with the least and most points in each group. Got that? You will be evaluated according to your team’s average, understand?”

The participants nodded slowly, like they totally hadn’t.

“Whoever is below the average fails,” Kakashi continued monotonously. “Whoever doesn’t have at least one clean bed sheet fails. Whoever doesn’t get to the hokage monument on time fails. All clear?”

The candidates nodded numbly. “Great,” cheered Kakashi. “Then begin!”

Next to him, Akiha was eyeing the genin pityingly. “I think you broke them.”

Meanwhile, Jiraiya was currently arriving late to a meeting with his former teacher. He knocked at the secret door he’d been told about… which promptly was yanked open by his absolute favorite person in the whole world.

“Look who’s late,” drawled Danzo Shimura, eyeing Jiraiya with distaste. “The oaf in all his… glory.”

Jiraiya told himself to ignore the jab. Water off a duck’s back, honestly! “I told you, Danzo, I’m the Toad Sage. Not to mention,” he wiggled his eyebrows, “an author of world renown, hi hi. Want a copy?”

Danzo stared at him expressionlessly. “I think I’ll pass.”

“Jiraiya-kun,” Hiruzen greeted in that moment. “So good to see you! Come in, come in.”

Danzo was thus forced to step aside as Jiraiya noisily entered the room to give his former sensei a bear hug. He knew not to get overly emotional in Danzo’s presence, nor would Hiruzen, so he let go quickly and chanced a glance around the room instead.

“There’s a partition?” he questioned with surprise.

“Astute observation.”

_Water off a duck’s back, Jiraiya, water off a duck’s back!_

“You know,” the toad sage suggested, “if you want that copy, you just have to ask, Danzo…”

The elder glared at him. “I do not. Now, I know this might be beyond the scope of your understanding, but that partition is there for a reason, yes? So. Do. Not. Move. It.”

_Water – off – a duck’s – back…_

“Geez, Danzo,” Jiraiya remarked. “So uptight. I know just the thing for you: a relaxing soak at the hot springs, hm? Promise, you’ll be good as–”

Danzo swiped at him with his cane. Jiraiya parried with his arm guards.

“No, thank you, oaf.”

Behind the partition, something rustled. Like someone had moved, just a little. The hidden person, apparently, had thoughts about Jiraiya and Danzo’s interaction. In Jiraiya’s imagination, whoever it was was laughing their ass off unseen. He was so jealous right then, honestly.

Hiruzen coughed. “As Danzo has said, Jiraiya-kun, please do not attempt to, ah, unveil the identity of our guest.”

Jiraiya nodded all busyness-like, but his mind was whirring with possibilities.

“Of, course, I would never,” he assured innocently.

Hiruzen glared at him. “ _Jiraiya…_ ”

“Honest!” Jiraiya said.

“So,” Danzo interjected, taking a seat. “Why don’t we begin?” Without waiting for anyone, Danzo commanded: “Agent, report.”

A cultured voice which Jiraiya couldn’t place spoke from behind the partition:

“I have information about the Akatsuki. This is what I know…”

Almost as soon as Kakashi had called out for the candidates to begin, the bed-sheets had all been yanked off their racks, each genin trying to swipe as many as they could, all while attempting to protect what they’d acquired. Unfortunately, the bundled sheets were not exactly easy to carry around, so launching a successful escape attempt with them was near impossible for Ino, who had no particular skill in taijutsu nor ninjutsu to enable this.

Before she even knew what was going on, the mummy guy was onto her: he’d done some sort of attack with the devise on his wrist, Ino had dodged, _yes take that!_ but then the world had gone all blurry and wonky and she’d fallen on her bum. Her precious sheets had been taken away, and then the guy had just picked her up and not let go no matter how much Ino had screamed or flailed. Next thing she knew, she was falling, falling, falling – he had thrown her off the rooftop! – what now, what now, what now–

Without being all there, she had somehow managed to land without breaking anything, but various parts of her body ached and she felt like she was going to either puke or pass out. The shock of it all was still present. Her left ear was ringing and she could barely see straight, never mind stand straight. Her hands shaking, Ino had crawled to her feet. The idea that she could’ve just died, just like that, easy peasy, was so alien she began to giggle to herself. Mothers were casting her odd glances, pushing their children aside, but Ino just kept laughing as she swayed on the spot. Moments later, a new wave of dizziness hit her and she was sick right then and there, on the street, almost all over her sandals. It was mortifying in theory, but in truth she felt like she was floating in some unreal fog. Then Ino somehow picked herself up and stumbled away from all those people staring at her… away, but not very far. Somehow, she’d ended up propped against the wall of some shaded alley, her hands pressed against vomit-matted hair.

As she more or less regained her breath, never taking her hazy eyes off the rooftop, Ino bore witness to more than a few other candidates being victims of the same fate. Some of them looked dizzy, like her, as they plummeted from the rooftop. Some didn’t. But all of them looked terrified. In extreme cases where the candidates could’ve died, sudden shadows would jump out of nowhere and catch the unfortunate genin at the last possible minute. Those who were caught by the hidden ANBU, Ino saw, received some sort of stamp on their hand… They’d been disqualified, she realized. Because in a real situation, they’d be dead instead.

Suddenly, the blonde was glad she’d somehow managed to land on her own, even if it had hurt like a bitch.

_Thanks for that, Asuma-sensei… and Forehead._

Forehead. Because the truth was, after seeing that Sakura could already tree-walk, Ino had suddenly gotten into a training flurry. Mind, she had worked out more intensively these past few days than she ever remembered in her life, practicing her wall-walking skills until her mother had scolded her silly. Especially after that conversation with Tetsuya… Ino blushed, well especially after _that_ , she had redoubled her efforts.

The thing was, after thinking about it, she had concluded that Tetsuya had been right in his assessment. She’d undermined Sakura to the point where her friend had seen no other way out but with a fight.

She had never done it on purpose, of course, but Ino knew what she was like: bossy, classy and entitled. It was something that came with being clan heiress, with being funny and talented and pretty and everyone liking her… Ino knew what she acted like – like a leader, like the one who knew better. (Because she did, but that was besides the point.) The point was… Sakura had probably felt inferior due to this. At first she’d looked up at Ino because of this exact attitude, striving to emulate it, to be like her… and Ino was self-conscious enough to realize what had happened. She hadn’t wanted to share the spotlight, or more like, she hadn’t even expected to have to do so. And she had never changed how she treated Sakura.

When they’d first met, Ino had seen this shy, a bit odd girl who was all sad and needed help – plus a serious boost of confidence – and somehow, Ino’s heart had melted. Just like that, she’d reached out to her and a strong bond had blossomed between them. She’d treated Sakura a bit like a little sister who needed to be shielded and nurtured… and she’d never changed that outlook. And this had hurt Sakura, Ino now realized, and kept on doing so until she had simply burst, wanting to be Ino’s equal instead of her little sister, wanting to be respected, to be more… and then the whole Sasuke debacle had happened.

And Ino… well, she had been hurt by Sakura’s actions, mostly because she hadn’t understood where the sudden hostility was coming from. But now that she did, she truly felt sorry. If she imagined their roles reversed, Ino just knew she’d have blown up on her friend too, and probably a lot sooner.

So to conclude, if what Sakura needed was acknowledgment… Ino would knowledge her alright. She’d acknowledge her until it fucking sunk in that they were equals and rivals and friends and everything in between – damn it, Forehead!

More than anything, Ino wanted to _show,_ not tell, Sakura that she was finally taking her seriously, not just as a love rival, but as a kunoichi, as a person… and thank god for that resolution. Otherwise, the blonde would have been out of the running already. She sighed. All this training she’d been doing had saved her.

And she knew Sakura wasn’t even in the exams, but Ino was certain that her teammates would manage to pass, no question about it. And the truth was, she couldn’t bear the thought of being the only one who remained behind. The disappointed expression of her father in that event swum across her mind. No, she wouldn’t allow it to become more than a thought. Ino wiped some bile off her hair. No matter what, she had to at least give this test her all.

Tremulously, the blonde got up, bracing herself against the wall. The world was still spinning. What now?

She tried to piece together what had happened. Clearly, all the power houses had taken control of the rooftop with all of the sheets on it and kicked everyone else out. She sighed. She needed to get back up there, but how? The hospital was the tallest building in the area. The rooftop was practically a fortification with all those strong guys up there.

It all depended, Ino figured, on what those powerhouses were doing. If they were fighting amongst each other, then she had a shot. But if they had forged an alliance, on the other hand, then her chances were horrible. Unfortunately, in all the time that she’d been observing the rooftop, she’d only seen people get dropped off; not a single person had left on their own. Ino was positive some of the powerhouses up there could’ve left had they wanted to, so the logical conclusion to be drawn was that they _had_ formed an alliance – at least for now.

Which was bad. Because if they’d at least split up by teams, then Ino could’ve tried to rally her own teammates to reconquer the rooftop… but with just all wimps left on her side, she doubted this was possible.

What now?

Five minutes later, she was sitting on a bench, feeling miserable. _If Shikamaru were here_ , she thought unhappily, _he’d know how to fix this_. As it was, repressing sobs was all she could do. After all her training… and yet she’d still been powerless.

_Come on, Ino_ , the blonde told herself. _Think practically._

What was the best thing she could do right then? That was the question Shikamaru always asked. But what was the answer? She’d already lost forty minutes. The clock was ticking.

Ino hesitated. She was no Shikamaru, but… getting treatment. Yes. She was already next to the hospital… she needed treatment. Because if there was one thing Ino knew, then it was that she needed to at least be able to walk in a straight line if she wanted to stand a chance. And so, to the hospital it was.

Orochimaru of the Sannin had seen many things in his life. But pink-haired civilian girls who were simultaneously brave, terrified, clumsy and perceptive all at once was not a combination he’d ever encountered.

  
Sakura Haruno, was it?

He observed the pink-haired girl as she stood facing him on the other end of the training ground. Her green eyes were wide, the black pupils within reduced to little dots that showcased her fear… even her stance was frightened, clamped and tense. And yet, there she stood.

Orochimaru’s first impression of her had been that she was easy prey. A fearful, dainty little girl who had blindly understood that he was the predator and she was at the bottom of the food chain. She’d cowered in such a deliciously obvious way… the way only deer knew to be fearful of lions, the way a scared rabbit would instinctual tremble before a snake.

And yet, the rabbit had stepped forward of her own accord. There she stood, in front of him.

She had defied all laws of prey-predator and broken the natural equilibrium – she had volunteered to face Orochimaru. And unlike Naruto-kun, she had known exactly what she was getting into, and yet – Haruno Sakura had still challenged him. Orochimaru’s eyes slid to her remaining teammate. And all, it seemed, because of her precious Sasuke-kun.

The Sannin licked his lips. He had already played with the kyubi, tampered with his seal, and had every intention of likewise putting a curse mark on Sasuke… if he proved worthy, of course. He wondered… should he mark the Uchiha’s little doll permanently as well? He was sure it would anger him. It might serve as an additional motivator…

Thinking this, Orochimaru glanced toward the rabbit again. She was terrified, he could smell it. Hm… this was going to end quickly.

On the opposite side of the field, Sakura was indeed terrified as she and Orochimaru sized one another up.

 _Come on, Sakura… you can do this,_ she told herself. _You can do this, you can do this, you can_ _do this…_

Then Orochimaru took a step forward and Sakura actually _felt_ his chakra.

_You cannot do this._

“Gyaaaah!”

_RUN!_

Terrified, Sakura just up and bolted in the opposite direction, sprinting without looking where she was going, without sense or reason – and ended up tripping over a rock. Yes. An actual rock… admittedly not one of her proudest moments. Worse yet: she yelpingly fell face-first to the ground. Great. Some ninja she was.

“Sakura!” Sasuke yelled.

Sakura had never felt so pathetic in her life.

And it was in that moment, as she lay face-first against the earth, feeling like a major failure as she waited for Anko to take a crack at her, that Sakura was struck by inspiration. _Wait…_ she thought suddenly. _Of course._ She didn’t have to beat anyone. She just had to stall for time.

And what was she best at doing? Well, the answer was obvious.

“Waahhh!” Sakura began to wail loudly, clutching her ankle as though it were on fire and rolling dramatically on the floor. “My ankle, my ankle!” she sobbed convincingly. “WAHHH! It hurts so bad!”

Meanwhile, Orochimaru had stopped in his tracks and was staring blankly at her.

“Well, maybe Sassuke and I should…” he began.

_Not a chance!_

“BACK OFF you fucker!” Sakura wailed. As an excuse for her outburst, she added: “Don’t touch my ankle!” For greater effect, she then churned out a few more tears. “Sasuke… you have to carry me to a hospital! It hurts so much..!”

“No–” Orochimaru said, but it was too late: Sasuke had caught on.

“Hn. You’re right, Sakura.” Stepping closer, he examined her imaginary sprain. “This looks bad.”

Sniffing pitifully, Sakura peered at him through her lashes.

“It does, doesn’t it?”

Sasuke nodded, touching her ankle awkwardly. “Very.”

Sakura suppressed a beam. Sasuke had just touched her foot! How hot was that?

Instead, she pretended to wince like the damsel in distress she was supposed to be.

“Help me up?”

“Hn.”

Orochimaru narrowed his eyes at them, examining the two genin critically. He knew what a sprained ankle looked like. And he knew this wasn’t it.

_Lies. All of it – lies._

_That girl…_

He glared at Sakura Haruno. She had thrown him a curveball.

Thanks to her set-up, it would be impossible to proceed with his plan to fight Sasuke without breaking character… especially as the Uchiha seemed all too willing to vouch for her injury. And it would not do to blow his cover – not yet.

Orochimaru knew that he couldn’t afford to reveal his cards so early on in the game, not until he’d put the curse seal on Sasuke, at least… something which he didn’t dare to do openly. Had he had an excuse to fight the boy, to get close to him, to use a smoke screen as a ‘training exercise’, he could’ve easily put the curse seal on him without raising any alarms. But now that Haruno was playing injured, the situation had completely changed.

For one, Sasuke had no reason to ‘spar’ with him anymore: his teammate’s injury had given him the perfect excuse. And if Orochimaru insisted to keep fighting, he’d break character. Doing so was out of the question, because for all he knew, Hatake Kakashi could’ve sent some of his ANBU friends to check in on them just in case. And as ANBU were near-impossible to sense, he had no way of knowing whether any of them were in the area or not… something which he was not willing to chance.

If only he had taken the genin somewhere more secluded, like the Forest of Death… he could’ve revealed himself without compunctions. But now it was too late for that. He had been too arrogant – assumed they’d give him no trouble – and now Orochimaru was paying for it.

He had missed his chance to evaluate the Uchiha, both his sharingan and his personality… the latter of which was key to his plan. If he could understand Sasuke – what made him tick, what drove him forward – he’d be able to manipulate him. And if he could manipulate him, he could easily convince him to deflect from the village… But without an excuse to bait him (something he’d been meaning to do after knocking out Haruno), Orochimaru had no way to further study his character. He’d initially believed that the way into his heart was to grant him power, hence the curse seal idea, but after watching him today, the way he’d worried about his teammates, the way he’d gone along with Haruno’s plan… he was no longer sure. Had he been wrong? Orochimaru needed to know in order to decide on his next course of action. But he didn’t. He lacked information, and a lack of information could lead to mistakes.

 _Well played, Sakura Haruno,_ he thought. _Well played indeed._

But now what? He wondered… should he go through with his original plan – of cultivating Sasuke until he had an adult body, ripe for the taking – or should he simply retrieve the boy’s sharingan now and resign to moving into a younger host?

If Sasuke couldn’t be baited with the power of the curse mark, Orochimaru knew that the former plan was doomed, as he wouldn’t be able to lure him away from Konoha. But again, he lacked data to make his decision. And all because one pink-haired genin had been in the way. He watched with absolute loathing as the insidious girl flailed about, wearing an idiotic expression. It made him want to tortuously pluck the skin right off her face and watch as she suffered for her transgressions, for her sheer nerve–

But there was nothing he could do to take revenge. Not now, at least.

Sakura Haruno… he would remember that name. And he would remember that he had been wrong about her, for all that she looked weak. The girl was resourceful, and that made her dangerous.

Normal tactics wouldn’t work in this situation.

After a moment of thought, he decided on his next move.

“I shall accompany you…” he spoke with a hiss. The girl could play injured all she wanted to, but once she made it to the hospital, her lie would be exposed. And then, she’d have no further excuses to avoid him – she and Sasuke both. Orochimaru smirked. Perhaps not all was lost yet…

Feeling eyes on her back, Sakura gulped. She had hoped Anko would stay behind so that they could warn somebody about her, but clearly the woman had other ideas.

“Uh, shouldn’t you, ah…” she sniffed tragically again, “get help, Anko-san?”

“I will accompany you,” Anko repeated ominously.

Sakura and Sasuke gulped.

“Go as slowly as you can,” Sakura whispered, feather soft.

Sasuke gave her a subtle nod.

Glancing around one last time, Sakura cringed. Naruto lay forgotten on the floor, drooling as he muttered to himself. She felt bad for leaving him behind, but she figured he’d be safer where he was than anywhere in Anko’s vicinity. Casting a last, furtive glance at him, Sakura nodded to Sasuke and, together, they set off toward the hospital, Anko’s vigilant stare prickling upon their backs. The question was… how long could they hold out for?

In another part of the village, Shikamaru was ensconced in the corner of a dingy shop, observing another candidate as he browsed through the different wares on display. The genin stopped at a set of gray onions with little black polka dots drawn upon it rather sloppily. No doubt, it was yet another one of Kakashi’s masterpieces.

The competitor glanced around suspiciously – in particular toward the old man who was manning the counter. Luckily, Shikamaru’s shadow concealment jutsu was enough to keep him from being noticed…

Unwittingly, the Nara was reminded of Sakura and how quickly she’d thwarted that particular concealment technique. He also remembered what she’d said about her teacher… that Kakashi liked to be misleading. So where was the catch? The man had said, Shikamaru recalled, that each ingredient would be guarded by a proctor… did that mean that the old shopkeeper was in fact a disguised proctor, or was the actual proctor somewhere else, hiding, observing…?

The candidate seemed to be thinking along those lines as well, for he very quickly swiped the onion at an angle in which the old man couldn’t have possibly seen, concealing it in his sleeve with great dexterity – but it was to no avail. The old shopkeeper suddenly glanced up, an odd gleam in his eye, and then, without warning, he rapidly threw a senbon – so fast that Shikamaru’s eyes could barely track it. The senbon hit the genin square in the neck, and next second, he was sprawled on the ground, unconscious.

 _Well, at least now I know who the proctor is,_ thought Shikamaru from his shadowed corner.

The ‘old man’ shuffled over to the genin, retrieving the onion and putting it back in its place, then he stamped something across the genin’s right hand… a mark which indicated he had failed, no doubt.

_So it’s true. If you steal, no matter how well, you fail._

This wasn’t like Ibiki’s test then, where cheating had been encouraged. This was a new beast entirely. Shikamaru glanced up warily and his gaze met straight with the other man’s. They stayed like that, locked in an unnerving stare-off, until the proctor shrugged and returned to his place behind the counter.

It did not escape Shikamaru that the proctor had not retrieved the paper slip. Did that mean that it was still game to get it?

Carefully, without looking away, Shikamaru inched toward the passed out genin and began to search his pockets. He found the other’s scrap of paper soon and he pocketed it just as quickly. The proctor was still staring at him, but hadn’t moved to intercept. Hmm… interesting.

Shikamaru frowned, his mind whirring with possibilities. What was it Kakashi had said again?

_If you steal, you’re disqualified… but the proctors are not allowed to sell anything to you._

Then why…?

He smirked. Ah. Of course. How sly of Kakashi… there was a loophole.

Feeling more confident now, Shikamaru stood up, scrap of paper in hand, and strode toward the counter. The proctor eyed him.

“What do you want, kid?”

The Nara heir frowned. “How much for the onion?”

“It’s not for sale.”

“You mean, you won’t take _money_ for it,” Shikamaru clarified.

“Your point?” asked the man.

“How about… a different kind of currency?”

The proctor’s eyebrows raised.

_Bingo._

“Such as?”

Shikamaru prayed for his bluff to work. “Information.”

And now the man’s attention had sharpened even more. The Nara suppressed a smirk.

_Gotcha._

“Information…” the old man repeated. “And what would a brat like you know?”

“Plenty of interesting things,” lied Shikamaru fluidly, tapping his signature ponytail. “Such as… upcoming patrolling schedules for the holidays. You know who my dad is, don’t you?”

“Laying it on a bit thick there, brat,” said the man… but Shikamaru noticed that he had not dismissed the proposal.

It was a gamble, for sure, but he figured that, if there was one thing any ninja wanted, then it was easy, well-paying local missions during festivals and other festivities. Festivals, such as those that’d be celebrated soon because of the chunin exams. Which meant, whoever could get a hold of the patrolling schedule for then, as well as information on any available shifts, would have an immense advantage when it came to actually getting picked for them.

The proctor seemed to be considering Shikamaru.

“You tryin’ to bribe me, kid?”

_Is it working?_

“I am offering a simple trade,” Shikamaru settled on. “Not a purchase.”

The proctor smirked. “Well, well. I suppose if you name a free slot, I’ll accept your… trade offer.”

Shikamaru returned the grin. “You’ve got a deal.”

Perhaps the test wouldn’t be such a drag after all.

Shikamaru’s high spirits died a swift death as soon as he left the shop. Because, out of nowhere, there stood _the_ sand kunoichi, blocking his path and glaring at him as though he’d personally offended her.

“Uh. Can I help you?” he asked, trying to mask his alarm.

The blonde stared at him hard. “That onion… how did you get it.”

“I… retrieved it,” Shikamaru settled on. And if by retrieved it, she understood ‘stole’, then that wasn’t Shikamaru’s fault, now was it?

“Oh?” said the kunoichi. “Good attempt, but you won’t mislead me.” Her eyes narrowed. “You, I saw what you did with the proctor.”

“Troublesome woman,” mumbled Shikamaru. “If you did, then what’s the point of this conversation.”

“You damn clown! The point is that you cheated!”

Shikamaru rubbed his temples. “Cheated?” he echoed. What a pain.

“You bribed the proctor!” the kunoichi snapped.

“So?”

She scowled. “That’s cheating.”

“No, it’s not.” Shikamaru interjected. “And if you really had a problem with that, you’d have told on me already. So what do you really want?”

The blonde gritted her teeth. “Yes, it _is_ cheating.”

She did not answer his question. So she wanted to make this difficult, huh?

Shikamaru glanced around. “Are we really going to have this conversation here?” he asked instead. The blonde frowned. “Fine. Let’s go elsewhere,” she directed. “Over there.”

Shikamaru rolled his eyes when she took off somewhere without waiting for him to agree. “What are you waiting for, slacker clown?” she threw over her shoulder.

Shikamaru sighed. Troublesome woman…

Five minutes later, they had relocated to an inconspicuous weapons shop to have their conversation.

“So?” the blonde prompted.

Shikamaru pinched his nose again, leaning against a wall. “I told you. Bribery isn’t synonym of cheating.”

“Oh?” the blonde said sharply. She patted her fan threateningly.

Shikamaru gulped. “If you completed a mission thanks to bribery and the mission was successful, would you have a problem with that?”

The blonde narrowed her eyes, but seemed to acquiesce. “I suppose you have a point. I don’t care you cheated,” she said with distaste. “What I do care about is that you’re in a unique position, slacker clown. Because you have influence to bribe them all.”

‘Influence’? So she knew he was the Nara heir? Damn. Then the whole nickname thing was just to be rude, huh? Or was it a ruse to look less prepared?

Shikamaru crossed his arms. “Well, if that’s all…” He made to turn around, but the kunoichi held him back by the scruff of his jacket.

“Not so fast, clown.”

“What a drag…”

“You’re coming with me,” the blonde declared bossily.

“No,” Shikamaru replied. And before she had time to pull out her fan, he had already finished the handsigns for the shadow possession jutsu and captured her with his shadow. Almost instantly, the sand kunoichi seemed to realize something was amiss. But by then, it was too late. Something told Shikamaru he’d regret trapping her like this, but he’d done it on instinct and now it was too late to take it back. Wincing in preparation, he allowed her yaw to move, and her resulting hiss did not disappoint:

“What did you do?!”

“Nothing much,” said the Nara, blasé. “Just kept you from mauling me.”

“ _Screw you_.”

Shikamaru grunted. She was pushing against his jutsu, and hard.

“I’m – I’m guessing you approached me because you want me to bribe the proctors for you?” he ground out.

The kunoichi said nothing, but her non-denial was enough.

They stared each other down for a moment, the blonde struggling against the paralysis and Shikamaru struggling to keep his hold on her.

“If – you want my help,” Shikamaru panted out. “Then I want half of your paper scraps. Take it or leave it.”

The girl glared at him venomously. “And if I say no?”

“Then we each go on our way.”

She eyed him for a moment. “A quarter.”

“Half,” Shikamaru parried, clamping down harder on her muscles. “I’d get us both the ingredients. You’d help… keep the rest of the competition at bay with your fan… it’s mutually beneficial.”

The sand kunoichi bit her lip, seeming to weigh her options for a tense three minutes. “Fine,” she snapped finally. “Now let go, slacker clown.”

Shikamaru sighed, relieved. He had no idea how, but he’d somehow managed to team up with one of the major powerhouses in the game. That was good… well, as long as she didn’t back-stab him. He figured the chances of that happening would be lower if they at least established some kind of rapport.

“Shikamaru,” he told her.

“Did I ask?” The girl glared daggers at him. “I said, let me go, slacker clown!”

“Troublesome.”

He did not let her go, until she finally seemed to get the hint and rolled her eyes.

“Fine. Fine, you damn… Shikamaru. Let. Me. _Go!_ ”

Shikamaru sighed yet again. What a pain. With great caution, he released the jutsu. He was not prepared, however, for the lightning-fast hand that suddenly grasped his shirt, lifted him off the ground, and slammed him against a wall.

Ow.

Shikamaru’s head thudded and he swore he could see stars.

“Troublesome woman…” he muttered, not all there.

The kunoichi got in his face, her blue eyes narrowed to slits.

“Don’t you dare look down on me, you damn slacker clown – Shikamaru – whatever,” she spat hotly. Then, giving him a good shake, she let go, dusting her hands off. “I’m Temari, by the way.”

As she spoke, Shikamaru thudded to the ground like a sack of potatoes.

“And don’t call me a troublesome woman,” she sneered. “It feels sexist.”

“…dully noted…”

He rubbed at his head. God, that troublesome woman.

Almost like she could guess what he was thinking, Temari’s eyes flashed dangerously at him and he gulped.

“After you,” the kunoichi snapped acerbically.

Shikamaru shakily got up. “Right.”

Still low-key terrified, he shuffled toward the door, Temari close on his heels.

What neither of them noticed as they left the shop was that another figure had been concealed behind a rack of helmets and had heard every single part of their exchange.

 _Well, well…_ thought Tenten, smirking to herself. _Aren’t they cute?_

Once she was done with those two, they wouldn’t know what had hit them. And without further ado, she sweetly waved at the clerk and trailed behind them. _The game is on._

Ino, meanwhile, was sitting in a plastic chair with a pack of ice pressed to her face. On another plastic chair in front of her sat another candidate who had clearly had the same idea as her: getting healed first, asking questions later. The med-nin on standby had already healed them both, Ino first, then him, but instructed them to stay there for a few more minutes. Now, sitting silently in front of the scowling older boy, Ino repressed a snicker, remembering how Kakashi had dubbed him as ‘kitty cat’.

“What?” the candidate asked with narrowed eyes. “Something funny?”

Ino shook her head innocently. “Only your face.”

The guy balked. “Damn you little runt!”

Ino sighed, shuffling the ice package around a little. “Would you please not shout. My ear is killing me.”

The guy paused, his mouth shutting with a click. “You too, huh?”

Ino blinked at him. “You mean you got attacked by that mummy dude as well, Kitty cat?”

“For the love of–” he rolled his eyes. “Kankuro. It’s Kankuro. And yes, that damn sound rat fucking got me…”

Ino snorted. “My feelings exactly.”

They stared at one another for a moment. “So, what are you gonna do?” Ino asked nosily.

Kankuro rolled his eyes. “The answer is obvious: get revenge.”

“So you’re gonna stomp in, just like that, and hope for the best?”

“Blah, blah, blah.” Kankuro glared at her. “You remind me of my annoying sister. What would you do instead, if you’re so smart, blondie?”

Ino rolled her eyes. “It’s Ino. And I am _not_ like your crazy sister – my hair is much silkier, mind – and…” she paused. “And I think you should team up with me.”

Kankuro stared at her blankly. “In your dreams.”

“Hmp.” Ino shuffled her ice-pack around. She suddenly knew what she had to do: she needed to make use of her social skills to gather anyone she could find in order to reconquer the rooftop with her… unify all of the remaining candidates into an alliance. She looked at Kankuro calculatingly. He seemed strong… A good addition to her future alliance. But that very strength also meant that he’d only join her if he really thought he stood something to gain from it.

“What.” Kankuro deadpanned, shuffling around. “What are you staring at me for?”

Ino lifted her gaze, shrugging. “Nothing much. Just thinking you should remove that face-paint and maybe people would take you seriously.”

“The hell?!”

Ino got up from her chair. After the healing session she’d gotten, she was already feeling a lot better. “Listen here, Kankuro,” she enunciated clearly. “You can go off trying to get your revenge without a plan for all I care. But I? I’m going to get a following, and then I’ll strike. If you still want to join us later, the offer still stands.”

And with that, Yamanaka Ino breezed past an open-mouthed Kankuro and out of the room. She had plenty of things to do.

Meanwhile, Kakashi and Akiha were perched on a rooftop that overlooked the hospital.

“Poor brats,” Akiha muttered, watching a sobbing genin who had just fallen off the rooftop.

Kakashi continued to stare at his Icha Icha. “They’re not understanding the test at all,” he said blandly. “And here I thought it was going to be easy.”

“Yeah…” said Akiha. “The getting thrown off a rooftop is totally beginner stuff.”

“Touche.” Kakashi sighed. “This is a disaster.”

Akiha looked at him curiously. “What did you expect? You literally set things up so those brats would turn on one another.”

“Maa… you’re wrong,” Kakashi said. “Why else would I have divided them into teams if not for them to work as a team?”

Akiha shrugged. “Well, those guys on the rooftop teamed up.”

“They don’t count. They will turn on each other as soon as they have the chance. That’s not how teamwork works.”

“Sometimes it is.”

Kakashi’s face turned so quickly that Akiha started.

“I’m sorry?” he asked quietly.

“What? It’s true,” Akiha muttered, uncomfortable but unrepentant. “Teamwork this, teamwork that. Sure, it’s great for propaganda, but if you get stuck with assholes for teammates, you’re on your own.”

Kakashi seemed to have forgotten his book. “Oh?”

“No offense, but I’m stronger alone,” Akiha elaborated. “My teammates are nothing but a permanent toothache, always telling me off and hating on me. If it were up to me, I wouldn’t put up with them.”

Kakashi’s lone eye had narrowed, but he didn’t say anything.

“What?”

“Teammates are not obstacles,” Kakashi said in a low voice. “It’d do you well to keep that in mind, Akiha.”

“Maybe not _your_ teammates,” the teen interjected. “Newsflash: not everyone gets to be the famous copy nin. Not everyone gets lucky with their teammates.”

“It’s not about luck,” Kakashi said coldly. “It’s about trust.”

“Sure,” Akiha countered fiercely. “But trust has to be earned.”

And so, they were at a stalemate. Eventually, Kakashi reopened his book.

“Suit yourself,” he said coldly. It was apparent that he was vexed.

Akiha crossed his arms and looked away pointedly. A few minutes passed in this manner until he caught sight of something interesting: Sasuke Uchiha. Wasn’t that one of Kakashi’s genin? He tried for a peace offering: “Oi. Your team’s down there.”

Kakashi ignored him. “Save your pranks for someone else.”

Akiha peered down the edge of the building. “I mean it.”

“Hm.”

“Just look. Sasuke Uchiha is right there. With some pink-haired girl and Anko… looks like the girl got injured.”

Kakashi sighed, getting up. “I swear if you’re–” He cut himself off, peering down at he street. And indeed, his genin were hobbling down the path, Sasuke bracing a limping Sakura, who looked like she’d been crying. Anko, indifferent, trailed behind.

Kakashi suddenly felt anger burst aflame in his chest. Anko had hurt them, had hurt Sakura. And Naruto? Where was Naruto? His teeth gritted as he continued to watch. Leaving his team with her had been a mistake. Why couldn’t he get anything right? He was about to jump down from the roof, when Akiha held him back by the shoulder.

“What?”

“Hey, _chill_ ,” the teen said slowly.

“I am chill,” Kakashi snapped.

“Tell that to your killing intent.”

Kakashi forced himself to take a deep breath, trying to rein in his wayward chakra. “Better?”

Akiha eyed him and nodded dubiously.

Kakashi turned away roughly, preparing to jump towards his kids yet again, when the teen held him back _yet again_ _._

“What now?”

“You can’t go.”

“Oh, that’s too bad,” Kakashi remarked, taking another step.

“Wait, I mean it!” Akiha exclaimed. “I can’t let you leave, that’s my mission! You have to stay here to supervise the test.”

“I have to see if they’re okay.”

“You’re seeing it _right now_. The girl has a broken ankle, for fuck’s sake.”

Kakashi glared silently.

Akiha sighed.

“Alright, alright. Then how about this?” He made some quick handsigns, producing a shadow clone. “I will go and make sure they’re okay. You and my clone stay here. And if you so much as try to leave or get close to the hokage tower, my clone will dispel and I’ll sound the alarm. Clear?”

Kakashi rolled his eyes. It just figured that his escort’s real mission was to make sure he didn’t spy on the hokage.

“And why can’t _I_ make a clone?” he asked, mostly as a test.

“Because I’m supposed to keep an eye on you and I can’t do that if you multiply,” Akiha snapped, proving his theory.

“Maa. So this is a surveillance mission after all.”

Akiha didn’t reply. He hadn’t thought he would, but he found himself actually liking the copy-nin a fair bit. He wanted to help with his students… though after their argument, the general atmosphere about Kakashi had grown frigid, so Akiha figured he’d best give the guy some space. Given, leaving Kakashi with his clone wasn’t exactly ‘space’, but he felt like he could use a breather himself too. Hence, he waved and sunshined off the rooftop.

Kakashi, on his part, rolled his eyes and returned to his book, having calmed down slightly. It had become apparent to him that he had overreacted. Sakura had a sprain, for god’s sake. And with him gone, Naruto had probably ditched training for the day to pull pranks on people. Even so, he signaled for one of his proctors to go retrieve the blonde – wherever the hellion was. He wasn’t taking any chances.

Down on the street, Sakura and Sasuke had nearly reached the hospital, Anko close on their heels.

Shit, what now?

They’d almost made it to the building… and Sakura knew that if a medic saw her ankle, her lie would immediately be exposed. And then what? She glanced back toward Anko fearfully. Shit. Shit. Shit.

“Hey,” a new voice interrupted. Sakura looked up and saw a ninja who was walking right toward them. “Kakashi sent me to make su–”

He knew Kakashi? Sakura didn’t let him finish. This was her chance. Her only chance.

“Takeshi-kun!” she exclaimed randomly, launching herself at the ninja. “Long time no see!”

The poor guy froze, going stiff as a board as Sakura clung to him like a koala.

_Play along, play along, play along…_

There was an awkward moment where he just stared at her. Then his gaze lifted, parsing over Sasuke and coming to rest upon Anko, and Sakura intensified the strength of her vice-hold on him. He needed to understand.

Then his hand moved and he awkwardly patted her head.

Sakura breathed out tremulously. He understood.

“Ahh… um, hey squirt,” the stranger now dubbed as Takeshi said. “How’s it going,” he added lamely.

And with these words, whether he knew or not, he had saved them. Sakura’s grip relaxed, as her entire being filled with bone-crushing relief. She was so grateful to him in that moment, she could’ve hugged him. Wait, never mind. She coughed, trying to get her voice to obey.

“Um, uh. Takeshi-kun?”

The ninja peered down at her. “Yes?”

“Can you… can you keep us company after I get checked up?” she asked quietly. “Or… or mind us, or anything?” She let go a little to look pleadingly into his eyes – blue. “ _Please_. We don’t… Sasuke and I don’t…”

Sasuke found the words which she couldn’t:

“We wouldn’t want to bother Anko any more than we already have,” he said calmly, stepping forward. “Takeshi.”

The ninja stared back and forth between them. It was impossible to know what he was thinking. Then he seemed to take in Anko, whose narrow-eyed gaze was boring holes into Sakura’s back, as well as the subtle threatening aura she gave off.

“Ah, sure,” he agreed easily. “I’m not doing anything interesting this morning.” He adjusted his grip on Sakura, then gestured for Sasuke to follow. “Come along, kids.” He turned toward Anko. “I’ll take it from here, Mitarashi.”

And without waiting for a reply, he marched into the hospital, Sakura in tow. Sasuke sped up to catch up with them, while Anko had stopped walking, staring after them with a sour expression on her face.

Finally, she was gone.

Covertly, Sakura breathed out in relief, waiting a few tense minutes to see if she could sense the other woman in the vicinity. When nothing came up, she finally relaxed.

Noticing this, their savior let Sakura go.

“Madara’s pointy nose” he said with a whistle. “That was some performance, kiddo.”

Sakura looked down, blushing. “Um. I’m sorry about that.”

“She feigned a sprain,” Sasuke added with a smirk. Then his eyes narrowed. “And how do you know about Madara?”

The guy shrugged. “He’s my idol.”

Sakura stared blankly as Sasuke gave an approving nod.

“Who’s Madara?” she asked. “And was his nose really that pointy?”

“No,” said Sasuke.

“Yes,” Akiha had said at the same time.

Sasuke turned to glare at him, but he elaborated on, undeterred. “Legend goes, it got pointier whenever he told a lie.”

“That’s stupid!” Sasuke exclaimed, while Sakura giggled. Swearing by Madara’s pointy nose sounded even better than Hashirama’s mullet. Maybe she should alternate?

“So,” Akiha said after a moment, plopping down on a chair. “Anko’s training that bad?”

The two genin nodded.

“Any S-ranked criminals in sight?”

Sasuke and Sakura stared at him oddly.

“Uh… no?” Sakura ventured. “Just Anko-san.”

“Good to know, good to know,” Akiha told them, seeming amused. “Looks like you aren’t shonen protagonists after all.”

“I’m sorry?”

“Hm, nothing. So… You guys okay on your own now?”

Sasuke nodded, turning around without further fanfare and walking out of the room, who knows where. But instead of following as she wanted to, Sakura stayed behind.

“Uhhh… actually, I, uh. I have something I need to tell you, shinobi-san.”

“Way to make me feel like an old fart. I’m what? Three, four, years older than you?”

Sakura blushed. “Uh, sorry, um, shinobi-kun. Anyway, what I wanted to say is… something’s really fishy about Anko-san.”

“She’s an odd duck,” he agreed.

Sakura rolled her eyes. “No. I mean, yes. But no, it’s not just that… I think she wanted to… to do something mean to Sasuke and Naruto.”

“Like what?”

“Something bad. She was acting all creepy and stuff.”

“Hmmm… well, like teacher, like student I suppose…” Akiha muttered. “Maybe I should take a look at what she’s up to, just in case.”

Sakura nodded, grateful. “Be careful, please, shinobi-kun.”

“No worries,” said Akiha. “Anko is strong, but so am I.”

_More like cocky._

“Yes,” Sakura argued. “But… shouldn’t you go with someone?” _In case she tries something perverted on you too._

The teen waved her off. “No need. For all we know, Anko was just trying to give you kids a scare.”

Sakura looked at him hesitantly. “You think so?”

“Absolutely. She’s got a bit of a reputation for that, you know?”

Sakura nodded uncertainly. Deciding that that was the best he was going to get, Akiha waved at her and then sunshined out of the hospital.

Fucking Anko.

He’d trail her for a while, see what she got up to. He didn’t think anything was actually wrong, but that girl’s evident fear had unsettled him… just a little. Better be safe than sorry.

Finding Mitarashi Anko took him a bit, but he finally pinpointed her at the edge of the village. Without saying a word, the woman entered the forest of death… and Akiha followed. He was starting to suspect something was really up.

Anko kept walking, not too fast and not too slow, until they were so deep within the forest that he couldn’t sense Konoha anymore.

And then she turned around… and looked straight at where he was hidden. Akiha jolted.

“Well, well. Why don’t you come out, little mouse?” she purred.

Akiha turned around with every intention to flee and get backup, suddenly understanding perfectly why that girl had been so afraid. He had to run–

But as he twisted on his heel, he found himself face to face with the very woman, or what once had been her – inches away. Except now her skin was pasty white, her eyes glowed an eerie yellow, and entire slabs of skin were peeling off.

She was smirking at him wickedly.

“What’s wrong? Snake got your tongue?” As though to empathise her point, a large, slimy tongue emerged from her mouth as she licked her lips ominously.

Akiha chocked, horrified. He knew who this was.

“O-Orochimaru.”

It came out like a garbled question, and yet he was suddenly certain. Orochimaru of the Sannin, _the_ Orochimaru, had somehow infiltrated Konoha. Orochimaru was fucking in _front of him._ Orochimaru had lured him to an empty, creepy forest…

_Oh, fuck. He was so fucked._

Why was the S-ranked criminal here? Akiha thought frantically. Worse. He was alone. With said S-ranked criminal. Even worse: alone – in the forest of death, where no one would find nor look for him. What was he supposed to do? What had he gotten himself into? Oh, nonononono–

Trying not to hyperventilate, Akiha pinched himself, retreated to a safer distance and began forming hand-seals. “Fuuton: shredding wind blade!” he exclaimed, trying to create a distraction.

But Orochimaru only chuckled, forming lightning quick handsigns of his own. “Doton: earth dome,” he hissed.

“Shit!” Akiha cursed. A powerful wall of earth blocked his attack, with the double function of also concealing Orochimaru. And suddenly the Sannin’s presence vanished.

If there was anything more terrifying than sensing him from up close, then that was not to sense him at all.

Shit.

Akiha swerved around, tensing. Where was he? Where was he?

Behind? No.

To the sides?

Above?

Both no.

At the very last second, he jumped, barely on time, for right where he’d been standing, a sudden earth serpent began to chomp the ground to bits, destroying everything on its path.

Fuck, that was close.

Akiha pulled out two nunchakus, using them to twirl a small tornado toward the snake, which upon impact burst into a myriad of other, smaller serpents. He flinched. Shit. Where was Orochimaru?

“Right behind you, my dear.”

He jolted, performing a substitution, but it was too late. A blade had nicked him – his _kidney_ , he realized with dawning horror as he landed on a tree branch. Fuck. He was as good as dead. It was a bleak realization.

Still standing on the forest floor, Orochimaru chuckled.

“What’s wrong? Don’t tell me that’s all you’ve got.” He smirked cruelly. “ANBU isn’t what it used to be, it seems.”

“Shut – shut up,” Akiha rasped, trying to keep it together. He was stronger than this, goddamn!

Orochimaru merely smiled, and in that moment, their eyes met. Big mistake. It was said that eye-contact amplified killing-intent perception, but that was a massive understatement. The size and potency of Orochimaru’s sheer killing intent in that instant was a thing of nightmares. By virtue of some higher power, Akiha broke free of the shock, just in time to dodge yet another blade, this one aimed at his throat. But even if he could move, the killing intent had left him reeling. He’d never felt anything so malicious.

“Poor baby ANBU…” Orochimaru cooed. “Are you going to throw a tantrum? Perhaps I should lull you into eternal sleep, just in case, hm?” He smiled. “Why don’t I… yes, yes. It’s time to feed my pet.”

And then, without warning, he flashed through the handsigns for the summoning jutsu. As a result, a huge cloud of smoke appeared within the clearing, making it impossible to see what animal he’d summoned. Akiha knew he had a contract with snakes, but knowing couldn’t have prepared him for what came next. Once the smoke cleared, a colossal, poison purple serpent emerged from within the white steam, its head gigantic, its eyes narrowed into malicious slits, its tongue tasting the air. The reptile was so large that it could’ve encircled the entire hospital building with body to spare, but as it now lay flat against the ground, no one would spot it from afar. Akiha cursed. He knew what was coming.

“Orochimaru,” the snake hissed. “What is it you want?”

“Hmm. I have a snack for you, Manda,” Orochimaru informed. “Do you smell him?”

The gigantic monster snake, Manda, seemed to pause. “Ah, I see. An injured human… yes, I can smell his blood.”

Manda’s humongous, scaly body twisted until his yellow, terrifying eyes were trained right on a horrified Akiha.

“That’s the one…” said Orochimaru. “Itadakimasu, ne?” And with these last words, the Sannin strode out of the clearing.

Akiha, meanwhile, tried to get it together. He had made ANBU by sixteen for a reason, danm it. He could do this. He could beat some snake. Given, having just joined the ranks, it was true that ‘panda’ didn’t have a lot of field experience… But he was very proficient in wind jutsu, and he had other additional skills to round it up. He’d even gotten quite good at the shadow possession jutsu, over the years…

And yet, nothing he threw at the snake was working. Its scales were like armored steel traps, completely impervious to even the sharpest of winds, and trying to trap such a large creature with his shadow was an absolute fool’s errand… He fought tooth and nail, but nothing worked. Once fighting didn’t work, Akiha tried ‘flight’. But it soon became apparent that he couldn’t run and neither he could he hide, the smell of blood giving away his position. Finally, after a battle that seemed to drag on for hours, he gave up. The snake was toying with him, and he was just – done. He wanted this nightmare to end.

Moments later, Manda’s formidable jaws were closing around the teen’s frame – kicking legs, bleeding body, and then his head – leaving nothing behind.

In another part of the village, Kakashi had been reading his Icha Icha when Akiha’s clone suddenly twitched, eyes widening, and then disappeared in a cloud of smoke.

 _Huh…_ Kakashi lowered his book, staring at the vacant spot. _Wonder what that was about?_

Hmm. He got up with a flip. Well, no time as good as the present to spy on the hokage, right?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So... heh heh. Sorry?  
> I hope that was appropriately gruesome.
> 
> Anyway, I'm really excited to hear your thoughts about the chapter, BUT not just that. I bear news today: I've published a new fic called War Paint... and, no, calm down, I can hear your distress but rest assured that will not be neglecting More Than Enemies in favor of War Paint. Hold your horses, guys! War paint is more of a side-project that will probably get updated rarely and when I'm feeling burnt out from writing this fic, ya know? Anyways, you must be thinking, "well, that's fine and dandy then. Now that you've established that update schedulles won't be threatened, please do move on." Well, yes. Though I do have a tiny, er, favor to ask. Could you maybe check War Paint out, if you have the time? I don't want to spam you, but the thing is, it's a really out-there topic, so no one's reading it. I've only got three bookmarks...  
> It's actually about, well, you know Naruto's kid? You know how he's an exact copy of him, with the same personality only smarter and already a genius plus he's OP? Well, I figured... that doesn't sound very plausible, now does it? So I came up with an alternative... a shy, introverted kid with a somewhat unsettling resemblance to Nagato who is also patently bad at being a ninja. And that's what War Paint is about. Also featuring a reincarnated Itachi and Madara, and parental Kakashi *wink* *wink*  
> So... give it a go? It's really short, I promise.  
> Anyway, sorry about that. If you're still reading, thank you. I wanted to thank everyone who's been reviewing and stuff. It really cheered me up and kept me motivated, even though I'm very stressed right now.  
> So... really. Thank you!


	9. Goodbye

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So... as I mentioned already, I am currently very busy. I have a big, stressful thing coming up on the first, second and third of July, so I'm only posting thanks to having written this chapter ages ago. It hasn't been proofread, however. That means... yep. Typos. I also had been meaning to add a scene that has only been briefly skimmed over. I'll probably go back and change a couple things once I have more time, as well as the earlier scenes with Orochimaru in them (I've changed my way of characterizing him as of chapter 10). So. Hope you'll like this!
> 
> Ps. Quick sketch of Sakura in some workout clothes, so you get a general idea of what they're supposed to look like. I drew this very quickly, so don't expect a Picasso.

It was a crisp morning outside, and now that the danger had passed, Sakura could truly appreciate it. Seeing as Kakashi was still busy with his test and Anko was thankfully gone, that meant she had the rest of the day to herself. Finally! It’d been ages since she’d caught a break.

Thinking this, Sakura decided it was high time to go clothes shopping. She’d been wearing some of her old Academy outfits to walk Kakashi’s dogs, but they were getting a little too tight for her frame. So she needed new dispensable clothes, Sakura concluded. Keeping in mind that her objective was to buy sturdy garments which didn’t stain easily, she immediately made a beeline to Yuna’s thrift-shop and began to ruffle through the racks. Yuna, after listening to Sakura’s explanation on what she was looking for, had dragged her into the fitting room, told her to ‘stay put for once, girl’ and then breezed off into the shop. Every few minutes, a piece of clothing would come sailing through the air into the fitting cabinet, along with barked instructions to try it on. Rolling her eyes fondly, Sakura did… sometimes against her better judgment. The thing was that, unfortunately, the old cat-lady had too much of a practical eye and kept showering Sakura with clothes that might look very practical and shinobi-like, but weren’t exactly flattering to wear. Sakura sighed. But then again, that’s why those clothes were supposed to be for dog-walking and dog-walking _only_ , right?

After a while of shuffling in and out of various garments, Sakura finally came across something she actually liked: black pants. Yes, yes, it sounded rather uninteresting, but she actually thought they were very cool-looking and practical, which was a rare combination. They were skin-tight and form fitting, but made of a thick, sturdy non-flammable material which felt actually nice to the touch. Most notably, the pants had enough pockets in them to hide food for an entire army. Kami, they were badass!

Sakura imagined that if all those pockets were to be filled, the pants probably wouldn’t be so form-fitting anymore, but trying them on right then, she could confidently say they rocked. Goodbye, scraped knees!

When she told Yuna of her discovery, the old lady went on a frantic search of the shop to see if she could find a second pair, which she did, much to both their delight.

Then the cat-lady got it into her head that she needed something to accompany the pants and henceforth launched yet another expedition into the depths of the shop.

  


When she was finally done trying things on, Sakura had acquired a few shirts as well, most of them with green cargo patterns on them, which Yuna assured would make dirt and grass-stains hard to notice.

  


  


  


  


  


Sakura still liked her quipao dress a lot better, but she was satisfied with the acquisitions.

“How’s your friend doing?” Yuna asked as she was paying.

“Hm?” asked Sakura absently. “You mean Stalker-san?”

Realizing what she’d just called him, she blanched and covered her mouth, but it was too late. Yuna had heard and was staring at her with round eyes. Then she started cackling.

“Stalker-san?” she crowed. “Good one, girlie! This is precious!”

“Um… please forget I said that.” Sakura scratched her cheek awkwardly. “I should probably start calling him Tetsuya instead, huh?”

“Tetsuya?” Yuna asked. “He does act like some philosopher, ey? But nah, if it were up to me, girl, I’d call ‘im somethin’ else.”

Sakura blinked at her. “What?”

Yuna smiked. “How about ‘Itami’… or Ita-kun for short?” Her expression in that moment was quite shrewd, like the cat that got the cannary.

“Itami? Like pain?” Sakura asked after a moment. She really didn’t understand the joke.

“Yes, ‘cause he’s a pain in the arse.”

“Right. Says you.”

Yuna snickered. “Do whatever ya want, girl. But if ye feel like having a laugh, remember: _Ita-kun!_ ” She burst into cackles yet again.

Sakura shook her head, used to the cat lady’s odd antics.

“Whatever, Yuna. That’s just weird.”

Yuna waved her off. “Psh. Then you can keep callin’ him Stalker-san like a normal person, can’t ya, girl?”

Sakura flushed. She had a point. “I’ll call him Tetsuya from now on.”

“Hm, go ahead then,” said the old woman. “But if ya want him to _react_ … ya know what to say.”

The genin nodded, not really understanding. “Well, alright. By the way, would you mind if I change into my new clothes before leaving?”

Yuna nodded, and so Sakura quickly disappeared into the back of the shop, donning her new outfit quickly as she mulled over Yuna’s words. She and stalker-san – err, Tetsuya? – had been talking alone or awfully long the other day. Sakura had to wonder what that was about. Did it have something to do with the Ita-kun suggestion? Perhaps she’d have to try using it… see what happened. Pensively, Sakura walked out of the fitting room and toward the door, lost in her musings when–

“Wait, girl!”

She turned. “Yes?”

Yuna waved her over, leading Sakura to the back of the shop… to a part she’d never been before.

“Yer a ninja now, hm?”

Sakura nodded. “’course I am, Yuna! I’ve been a genin for three months already!”

“And yet ya’ve been parading around lookin’ like _that_.” The old woman gestured toward the bag containing Sakura’s quipao dress with distaste. In any other situation, Sakura would’ve jumped to defend her signature attire, but now she was curious to see what Yuna wanted.

“But those?” The old woman waved at her current gear. “Those are the clothes of a real ninja.” She opened a cupboard. “So I figured ye can take some ‘a these.”

Sakura gaped. Within the cupboard, there were so. Many. Explosive. Tags… it was insane. Sakura stared at all the little paper pieces.

Those little paper pieces could kill with a thought, she mused, could cause destruction beyond belief, could level trees, rocks, take lives and limbs. Sakura stared at the explosive tags, then turned toward Yuna.

“Why do you have all o these, Yuna?”

“Didn’t I tell ya I have many kinds of customers?”

Sakura nodded, privately thinking that hidden away as they were, the tags were unlikely to get sold.

She eyed a few.

“They look… strange.”

“Do they?”

Sakura nodded, narrowing her eyes at them. She had very good memory, almost photographic, which is why she felt like the imprint upon the tags was off… was not the one she’d seen on regular Konoha explosives.

“Pff, well they work, so what’s the fuss?” commented the old woman, grabbing a few tags, each from different racks. First she took about ten which looked like the ones Sakura was familiar with, then took three of the remaining shelves, until she arrived at the last shelf. There were very few tags on it.

Slowly, Yuna retrieved a single tag from the shelf, handling it with care.

Sakura stared at it apprehensively.

The word ‘destroy’ stood out in bold, blood-red letters within the center of the tag.

“That one,” Yuna said, “is only for emergencies. Ya got that, girl?”

Sakura nodded, her eyes wide.

Pleased with her expression, Yuna sorted through them carefully, handling them with great care. Then gave them to Sakura. Sakura had been about to put them in the shopping bag when Yuna hit her with a towel. The towel which she usually carried on one shoulder… only it felt like a whip.

“Ow!” Sakura exclaimed. “What was that for?”

Yuna gestured toward the tags. “Those go in your weapons pouch, you idiot girl.”

Sakura frowned. “But I don’t have so much space for all those tags.”

Yuna sighed, annoyed, then retrieved a scroll from a different shelf. “See this? It’s a storage scroll. “D’ya know how to use them?”

Sakura shook her head and Yuna rolled her eyes.

“Figures. C’mere, girlie. I’ll show ya somethin’ useful for once.”

  


  


  


  


  


  


By the time Sakura was done learning all about sealing scrolls, Shikamaru had finished bribing all of the proctors with made-up information. It had been laughably easy, though he imagined that once they found out about his deception, or worse, once his father found out, he’d be in trouble. But by then, Shikamaru would’ve hopefully left the even more troublesome test behind him. That was something, right?

“Looks like you’re useful after all, slacker clown,” Temari commented from his right, gesturing to the bag with all the tags and ingredients he was holding.

Shikamaru pointedly ignored her. He may be a slacker clown, but he wasn’t about to let the blonde refer to him like that and expect an answer. Ino calling him names was once thing, but some stranger who happened to also be his competitor? Normally he wouldn’t have minded much, but appearing weak wasn’t a good idea in the war zone that was the chunin exams. Besides, something about the blond sand kunoichi just irked him.

He had turned toward Temari to tell her his name, _for the fifth time_ , but then he unexpectedly tripped on something, stumbling frantically over his feet. Before Shikamaru could regain his balance, someone rudely rammed into him with great strength, which was enough of a blow to down him completely. He heard Temari yelling, but it was drowned out by blinding hot-white pain that arced up his nerves and into his very core. Somehow, he realized blearily, he’d fallen straight into a… wire. A sharp, _cutting_ wire that slid straight into his flesh – and the momentum of his fall had insured that it cut right in like a knife through butter.

It hurt like a bitch, but what was worse was that a wire had even been there in the first place. It could only mean one thing – this was a trap!

Over his own pained moan, Shikamaru heard Temari curse loudly and jump, but by then it was too late: the bag with all of their tags and acquired items, which he had been holding to give Temari more mobility, was gone. And it was his fault.

But he could hardly do much of anything as he lay there on the ground, drowned by the sounds of passerby skirting around him, muttering about the boy on the floor. Right, that was him. Slacker clown extraordinaire, lying down upon any available flat surfaces at any given time. And yet, Shikamaru barely heard a thing. The wire had cut him deeply, missing his right eye by just a little and leaving a painful imprint all over his face and down his neck. Thank god for his jacket. He groaned, clutching at the wound in pain, trying to open his eyes and failing; he was unable to due to blood that was trickling down his forehead. By the time Shikamaru finally managed to get it together and get back on his feet, he was alone. He sighed, accepting a woman’s tissue and dabbing it gingerly over his bleeding face. Of all the stupid ways to get injured…

“Get back here, damn it!” Temari was yelling in the distance, no doubt giving chase to the thief. Judging by how far away her voice sounded, Shikamaru knew he didn’t stand a chance to catch up. Especially because the chase appeared to be over the rooftops, and while he was decent at tree-walking, rooftop chases required another level of chakra control entirely.

Worse yet: he doubted Temari would bother to find him if she managed to catch up… meaning, he was back to square one. No points, no tags, more competition and less time.

Just great. This had turned into even more of a drag than it already was. Sakura hadn’t been kidding when she said Kakashi’s test would be hell.

Annoyed, Shikamaru crouched down and retrieved his first and only tag, which he’d thankfully stowed away within his sandal. He had felt stupid for hiding it there at the time, but now he was more than a little grateful. The tag was safe and sound, and he felt an inordinate amount of relief at the sight of Kakashi’s scrawled _Burgundy cucumbers._

Just as he was thinking this, he suddenly spotted Gaara out of the corner of his eye. Gaara. Of all people… His presence in the vegetable section of market shouldn’t have been that surprising, but Shikamaru jolted at the sight. Everything within him had suddenly grown tense and taut.

Gaara. He had them. He had the cucumbers. Shikamaru could see a great number of fruits and vegetables all tied to his gourd and enticingly dangling over the ground with every step the he took… just begging for someone to snatch them. Especially the cucumbers he was carrying – cucumbers which by the looks of it had been dipped into red paint. Kudos to Kakashi for food-poisoning, thought Shikamaru with annoyance. In any case, the paint left no doubt about it: these were the famous burgundy cucumbers. With Shikamru’s concealment technique, it would be so easy to just sneak up and snatch them, same as the thief had earlier… But. There was always a but, of course. _But_ if Gaara was displaying the ingredients so obviously, it must mean he was confident in his ability to defend them, mustn’t it? And that didn’t bode well for Shikamaru. However, he couldn’t help but think… the redhead was confident, yes, but just how confident was overconfident?

Shikamaru chewed on his lip uncertainly. This was his one chance. Finding Gaara again was unlikely unless he trailed him now. If he wanted to act, he had to do it now. But should he? Was it truly smart to steal from the redhead? Was it worth the risk? What even was the risk? Shikamaru didn’t know what he was up against. The gourd Gaara carried everywhere suggested that whatever was within was his main weapon, but for the life of him, Shikamaru couldn’t fathom its contents. Was it acid? Poisonous gas, maybe? It must be something very corrosive or dangerous to keep it sealed like that. But in such a case, would Gaara be willing to risk killing everyone in the market just for a test? Diplomatically speaking, that would be suicide. He was strong, of that Shikamaru had no doubt. But the question was: was he also stupid? Was he drunk on his own power, like so many others? Enough to make him careless?

Unfortunately, Shikamaru could answer none of those questions.

There was no other way to put it: Gaara was an unknown. And yet, he had a bad feeling about the redhead. But then again, Temari seemed like the smartest out of the sand siblings, and he’d managed to deal with her on his own…

For a brief moment, Shikamaru thought about quitting. The test was a pain, more than, really, and it wouldn’t be out of character for him to give up in the middle. And yet… he had tried this time. He had _tried_.

The thing he’d never admit to anyone was, as long as Shikamaru didn’t apply himself, as long as he didn’t put in the work, being a loser wasn’t a problem to him. He didn’t mind it at all. It was easy, being a loser. It was easy not to try. It was easy, because he would never know whether he’d have managed to live up to his families’ great expectations or not. He’d never know if he’d have made rookie of the year, if he’d have aced every test as long as he didn’t apply himself. And that, in a way, was comforting. Shikamaru closed his eyes, recalling Asuma-sensei’s typical ‘if only you tried’ spiel. It was practically the man’s catchphrase by now, ready to be dished out whenever Shikamaru was in the vicinity.

  


_If only you tried more you could change the world,_ he’d drawl through the edges of his cigarette , odd tufts of smoke puffing out into the air. _You could do anything you got into your head, Shikamaru. If only…_

  


And the simple truth was, Shikamaru liked those words. He liked not trying. Because if he didn’t, then he could believe they were true.

But now… now he _had_ tried, almost without meaning to, _he had tried_ _._ And he had failed.

Shikamaru sighed for the second time, looking at the clouds overhead for comfort. He wondered what his teammates were to.

The Nara heir frowned, looking around. He really had no choice but to keep trying now that he’d started, did he? He had no choice but to win, to prove Asuma-sensei right.

He trained his eyes on Gaara, the deep black pools narrowing. It was time to put his plan into motion.

  


  


  


Meanwhile, the villagers had become spectators to the greatest chase that had taken place in Konoha since Uzumaki Naruto’s graduation.

“Get back here, you thief!” a certain blonde kunoichi was yelling.

The thief – or more accurately – Tenten didn’t stop running, of course, though she did cringe slightly.

 _Go_ _d_ _, that girl has some lungs_ _on her_ _,_ she thought with resignation. It just figured that the blonde’s loud screams would attract the other participants, and then Tenten’s escape would be even harder. That was probably the sand-kunoichi’s intention, and had Tenten been any slower, her escape would have failed by now. Right then, as she flipped from rooftop to rooftop, Tenten was glad for the first time about having waited a year before taking the chunin exams – it had given her an advantage and it clearly showed. Gai-sensei had drilled her in all things taijutsu, and that, of course, had included his infamous five-am-rooftop-races which had only ever excited Lee. However, now Tenten was thanking her lucky stars for Gai-sensei’s foresight as she effortlessly vaulted from building to building, the competition behind her struggling to keep up.

Right on cue, she noted that some of other candidates had joined the chase. Most notably: Kiba. She was realizing now that stealing his tag and ingredient (salty mangoes) had been a mistake. He and his annoying mutt had been following Tenten around nonstop, and she suspected this wouldn’t change. Unless, of course, she got rid of the mangoes.

Hiding a smirk, Tenten twisted in midair, executing a perfect flip. She could finally look her persecutors in the face. The blonde suna girl’s eyes were wide, she was closest yet still a ways off. Not too far behind were Kiba and his dog, both madly panting and raving loudly. Even further behind, Tenten could see more competitors – two of the sound guys and other strangers.

And with this, Tenten pulled out a smoke bomb and set it off. Then she aimed shuriken at everyone around her, pinning Kiba to a wall with a well-timed kunai and scattering everyone else like mad chickens. She didn’t think she’d managed to hit the blonde, but that hadn’t even been the point. Making use of the distraction, Tenten ducked into an alley quickly bolted out of there. Now… to get rid of the mangoes–!

She spotted some girl with large shopping bags and a distracted expression on her face and knew that this was it. Tenten once again bumped into the girl the same way she had the Nara, taking care to slip the salty mangoes into her shopping bag and rushed off without a second thought.

  


  


By the time Sakura Haruno had gotten up, looking around with surprise, Tenten was long gone.

  


_What the hell was that?_ thought Sakura with annoyance. _Seriously! People these days…_

  


  


  


  


Elsewhere, Ino Yamanaka was pacing up and down in front of a line of nervous-looking genin.

“So,” she prompted expectantly. “Why did you want to join the Ino Squad?”

The candidates muttered: “To win.”

“I’m sorry? I can’t hear you!”

“To win!” They were louder this time, but it wasn’t enough.

“What, you quiet chickens?”

“TO WIN!”

Ino smirked, satisfied.

“To win!” they repeated again, without prompt.

“Heck yeah!” She fist-pumped the air. “To victory!”

Now that she’d gathered a sizable crowd (of weaklings) it was time to start recruiting stronger candidates, who would hopefully be impressed by the Ino Squad’s sheer numbers. Ino smirked to herself. And she already had the perfect person in mind…

  


  


  


  


Just then, Gaara, who had been browsing the different stalls in the market, had suddenly stopped walking. He was frozen. He couldn’t move. Someone had attacked him, had done something to him, but he didn’t know who it was. The sensation left him reeling. He’d never been trapped in his life, and the sudden lack of control over his own body was frightening… maddening. Who dared? He’d crush them! But to do that, a little voice in his head said, he’d first need to know who the attacker even was, where he was. But he couldn’t move, so he couldn’t look. To do so, he’d have to form hand-seals in order to invoke his third eye, but again, he couldn’t move. And, though Gaara had some control over his sand, he tended to use gestures and seals to help him with it. Now that he couldn’t even tell who was attacking, what was happening, where the attack was coming from – he was – he was –

Trapped.

“LET ME GO!” he roared, fighting the possession with everything he had. No one had ever gotten past his sand barrier. What kind of trickery was this?! He glanced down and saw something black stretch right over his sand; intangible. A shadow. He stared at it aghast.

There was no hiding from shadows, even behind domes of sand.

To his growing horror, Gaara’s right hand began to move of his own volition. As much as he fought, it kept moving. He could feel the monster within him begin to stir, begging for violence, for an outlet, for blood – but no, no, no, not here, not now. He had to wait, wait, wait. We must bide our time. Wait, wait, wait. He couldn’t let him _take_ over.

The monster fought for control and Gaara fought back.

  


It felt like minutes of excruciating pain, but it was possibly closer to seconds. He couldn’t be sure.

  


When the screaming in his head abated, Gaara realized with shock that he was holding something – the cucumbers – and then he wasn’t. He had thrown them. He was in so much pain and shock that all he could do was watch as the cucumbers sailed neatly through the air… right into someone’s waiting hands.

For a moment, all he did was stare.

A ponytail, dark hair and a bland posture, an unremarkable face slightly triumphant, slightly frightened expression… _that_ was the thief? The monster within him noticed the bloody line that crisscrossed his face, and the blood-thirst grew to unbearable levels.

The thief was an exam candidate, but Gaara barely remembered him. He was a weakling, had been his only impression, scruffy looking and with weak chakra. And this, this weakling… this weakling had stolen from him, had taken from him! He couldn’t allow it. This weakling’s existence couldn’t measure up to Gaara’s! _He had to get revenge._

“GET BACK HERE!” Gaara shouted, ramming against the paralysis with all his strength, sending his sand after the weakling. But it was too late. The weakling was also a coward, for he’d taken off running. He was too far away for his sand to reach without hand gestures.

 _I’ll find you_ , thought Gaara, as he watched the other disappear. _Just wait._

And with a final push, he broke the paralysis and began to run. _Just you wait._

  


  


  


The meeting, Itachi could tell, was about to come to an end. He tried not to tense expectantly as he sat there, behind a paper partition that would mask his identity, his dishonor, waiting for the final verdict – the orders that would detail how he was to live the rest of his life. And so, there Itachi sat and waited. He didn’t have to wait long.

“You will continue your spy work until the Akatsuki are completely dismantled.” _Or until you die._ “You will continue to send Jiraiya bimonthly reports as we’ve discussed. You will not return to Konoha,” Danzo declared. “Are we clear?”

Itachi remained silent. Unbidden, the thought of Sakura popped into his mind. He had enjoyed his time here. He thought of his own illness and how the Konoha hospital was his only chance at a cure. He thought of the form of his sleeping little brother.

“Shinobi-kun?” Hiruzen questioned, no doubt waiting for an answer.

A part of him, Itachi realized then, had been hoping for the hokage to interfere on his behalf. To tell Danzo off, to say that of course Itachi-kun could visit every now and then as long as he was careful, hm? But the sandaime’s simple inquiry had been enough to completely disabuse him of that notion. Who was he to ask such things, anyway? He had murdered his own family. He deserved nothing but scorn and loneliness.

Sakura’s smile flashed through his mind again, guileless and naive, and he realized right then that he best stay away from her from here on out, lest he taint her like he tainted everything else. Even if she could make him smile in turn, even if she could cheer him up – that was all the more reason to keep his distance. Itachi didn’t deserve to smile. Not after what he had done.

“Agent?” Danzo barked impatiently. “I said you are not to return – ever again. Do you understand?”

Itachi’s face felt wooden as he opened his mouth to acquiesce, but another voice beat him to the punch. Only… they didn’t agree.

“Are you joking right now?!” Jiraiya of the Sannin exclaimed. “You can’t do this to him!”

“Oh?” snapped Danzo dangerously.

“Jiraiya-kun,” the hokage interrupted, his voice placating. “You must realize it’s for all our safeties…”

  


“Like hell it is! He should be able to come here at least for a short time! Especially if he’s ill, like he said he was!”

“He can return after completing the mission–” Hiruzen argued weakly, but Jiraiya steamrolled right over him.

“You mean the mission which he won’t survive because you won’t let him near a hospital?!”

“He can go elsewhere–”

“Are you being purposefully obtuse? If his condition is as bad as it sounds, he needs medic nin! Only hidden villages have those – Konoha is his only chance!”

“Jiraiya!” Hiruzen boomed.

And then Danzo’s cane clanked hard and loud against the wood, demanding attention. Itachi flinched. “Did you not hear the part where he could put us all in jeopardy?” the elder snapped. “The village comes first. His presence here is an unnecessary risk.”

“Not if he’s discreet it isn’t!”

“As much as it saddens me,” the hokage cut in, “that is a risk which we cannot take. I’m sorry, Jiraiya-kun.”

“You should be apologizing to _him_!” Jiraiya shouted, pointing at the partition. “And if you really were sorry, you’d do something about it!”

“Stop being so obstinate!” Danzo hissed.

“Stop lying!” snapped the Sannin. “Stealth isn’t the real reason you don’t want him here, is it? Just admit it, Danzo, you’ve got something to hide, and it involves him!”

Itachi stilled.

“Why you little–” Danzo began.

“I understand,” Itachi interrupted, standing to his feet. “Thank you for your concern, Jiraiya-san. I will do my duty to my village.” He felt like he was watching himself outside of his own body as he bowed mechanically to the partition. “Hokage-sama, Danzo-sama, Jiraiya-san.”

Without another word, nor another parting wave or even his customary nod – indeed, without moving at all, Itachi performed a crow-substitution and fled the sticky room.

His abrupt exit had been rude, he thought, even as he hastened away. He had never been so rude before, but what did it matter? What did it matter indeed, if he’d never return?

He realized belatedly that he had blood on his hands. He stared at them oddly. He must’ve dug his own nails into the flesh of his palm at some point. For a moment, Itachi examined his blood-stained nails. They had dark blue coat over them, as per Sakura’s recommendation. She had lobbied very intensively against aubergine purple, he could recall… Catching the fond expression that was threatening to form, Itachi schooled his features once again. He shouldn’t think about such things. The memory of Sakura was already something from the past. He had to focus on his mission. He had to get out.

Without a backward glance, Itachi raced through the rooftops towards his inn. Suddenly, he couldn’t bear to stay in Konoha. He had to leave. _Now_. He felt like he wouldn’t be able to breathe until he was far, far away. And for once, it had nothing to do with his lungs.

It wasn’t just that… he could recall clearly that he had never confirmed Danzo’s last order. The temptation to simply disobey was there, he acknowledged.

 _You can’t_ , a voice in his head whispered. He knew. He knew he couldn’t. It was all he knew, truly; all he had ever known: to obey. And yet… the temptation was strong. They would never know if he returned…

Itachi’s nails dug into his broken flesh again and he quickened his pace. He feared if he didn’t leave immediately, he might actually _break_ protocol. The mere notion would’ve sent him into a tizzy back in his younger days, but now he felt so detached from it. Protocol? What a joke. He felt hate, unbidden and unwarranted, begin to boil hot within him.

  


He couldn’t wait to put some distance between himself and Danzo. The hokage as well. Just the sight of them had made bile raise from his stomach. It was unlikely he’d meet them again… never would be too soon.

  


  


  


  


  


  


Meanwhile, Sakura was crouched behind a fish tank in a hotel kitchen, holding her breath as she listened to an incriminating conversation. How she had gotten into this predicament, she truly didn’t know. She’d been merrily walking down the street, minding her own business when a white puppy dog had come out of nowhere and had stolen her shopping bag. Yes. The one with her dress. The dress her mother had made for her. And he’d stolen it!

Sakura had been so mad that she’d understandably given chase, even after the dog had launched up a rooftop – Sakura had followed. After all this time being scared of heights, it was odd to think she’d get over her fear because of some insolent mutt… but it was what it was. Sakura had chased the dog mercilessly, until she managed, thanks to some quick thinking on her part, to corner him into a hotel of all places, following him through the rooms and corridors, past the swimming pool and down some stairs into the private kitchens. When Sakura had finally stopped running, having reached a dead-end in the kitchens, she’d found the dog missing and her shopping bag on the floor, slobber all over the plastic… though the dress inside had been mercifully spared. She’d just been wondering what on earth for a dog would steal from her and then not take anything, when she’d heard voices approaching.

Terrified of getting caught trespassing, Sakura quickly hid behind the next closest thing – a fish tank, from which live fish were taken for cooking. Once ‘hidden’, she’d realized just how poorly hidden that was, so in a last ditch attempt, she had sloppily cast the genjutsu which Stalker-san had taught her to conceal Tora, only this time, she used it to conceal herself. It took quite a bit of concentration, and Sakura had never been gladder before that she was a quick study.

She couldn’t hear properly what the approaching people were saying, but she could sense their chakra signatures and immediately knew that they were ninja – powerful ones at that. But if you can see them, they can see you. Did that also apply for sensing?

Using all her willpower, Sakura tried to form all her chakra into a tiny ball, the way she’d seen Kakashi do, and hoped it’d be enough for them to confuse her with a fish.

“Are you sure this place is safe?” the first voice asked.

“Nothing is truly safe, Kabuto-kun,” said another voice. “But I don’t think anyone would look for us here, do you?”

The first person stilled. “They won’t be looking for you period, Oro–”

“Do not call me that!” the second person hissed. “And an ANBU caught onto me just this morning.”

“What?!”

“Yes. I luckily managed to lure him to the forest of death… dear Manda is taking care of him.”

There was a silence.

“I see… but this is worrisome, my lord. Why would an ANBU be after you?”

The first person hummed thoughtfully. “I suspect he didn’t truly think me a threat, otherwise things might have gone quite differently.” The speaker suddenly began to move and Sakura froze when she realized he was approaching the fish tank.

“So… your orders?” the second person prompted.

“Ah, yes. You don’t know yet.”

“My lord?”

“I cannot wait any longer. It will happen in three nights. Be prepared.” Lightening quick, he retrieved an eel from the water. From her vantage point, Sakura barely dared to breathe, listening as the eel flopped about wetly.

“So soon?” the second speaker echoed.

“I cannot wait. I must do this before they realize I’m here.”

“…I’ll have things ready until then.”

“Good,” said the other. The eel made some sort of screeching sound. “Do not disappoint me.”

And then – silence – except for the dying noises of the eel. Suddenly, he threw the eel to the floor, at an angle in which Sakura could see it… and its eyeless head. She remained where she was, staring at the writhing eel in abject horror. He’d taken the eyes. She kept staring long after the two speakers had left, looking on as the eel continued to quiver for minutes on end, bloody husks unseeing in its last moments.

Sakura watched transfixed as it died. It was morbid, but she couldn’t stop looking. She felt like if she did, she’d lose all her humanity. Finally, the eel’s thrashing became more faint until it stopped entirely and nothing but fluids and an empty frame were left.

Sakura lost her breakfast. It was only then that it occurred to her that she’d just been in great danger. Possibly mortal danger. What would have happened had she been caught? Sakura was so shaken by this thought that her body went on autopilot.

  


  


When she was done dry heaving and cleaning the subsequent mess – as well as the eel – it was all she could do to plop down on a bench far away from there and stare at a wall. What was that? The eyeless eel? The _entire conversation_?

More importantly – nothing those sketchy characters had said could confirm it – but Sakura was convinced that the ANBU who’d been lured to the forest of death, to _his_ death, had been the nice guy from this morning. The one who had helped her. And she had sent him to his execution.

  


  


  


  


  


  


He wasn’t dead? He wasn’t dead.

This was Akiha’s only thought as he slowly came too. It was dark wherever he was. Dark and sticky and with a horrible stench. He could barely breathe. Everything hurt. He wasn’t dead, but he was dying. Then he felt the floor below him quake of its own accord, convulsing oddly… and he realized with dawning horror that it was not the floor at all.

It was the stomach walls of the snake.

His blood ran cold. He was inside a gigantic snake. The Sannin’s gigantic pet snake. He had been eaten by said snake. He tried to scramble away, but he could barely move. The sticky things on the walls hurt his fingers. He could feel blood trickling down his shirt… his liver had been pierced, he recalled. But everything hurt, not just his liver. And then he realized why: the sticky paste that was everywhere around him, those were stomach acids. The air he was breathing was toxic. The entire stomach was a deathtrap. He tried not to hyperventilate. He tried to channel chakra into his limbs to protect himself from the acid. He tried not to lose his mind.

Shakily, he used a basic wind jutsu to procure himself some clean air. It would do for an hour, maybe two. But how long could he hold out for? How long? How long? How long until he finally died? Until he became snake food?

He stared at the ceiling – snake stomach – and felt horror. No one would find him. He doubted anyone would even begin to look for him. Had the copy nin noticed his clone dispel? Would he try to check it out? Akiha knew the answer was no. After he had offended the man and his precious teamwork, he doubted that he would bother. And who else was there? No one. There was no one.

  


  


  


  


  


  


  


“Yo! Kakashi!” Jiraiya greeted loudly. He had found Kakashi casually reading just outside the hokage tower, concealed by an elaborate genjutsu as he perused his usual literature. The Sannin smiled. “Just the man I was looking for!”

Not even glancing up, Kakashi waved.

“Can I borrow your ninken?” the Toad Sage questioned without preamble.

Now _that_ caught the jonin’s attention.

“What for?”

“I’m sure you know, don’t you?” Jiraiya questioned shrewdly. “After all, weren’t you here to spy on our meeting?”

Kakashi sighed, looking up momentarily from his Icha Icha. “I didn’t make it in time,” he admitted, shameless as usual. “Only managed to catch the end, when the ‘guest’ had already left.”

“So?” Jiraiya persisted. “Let me borrow your ninken?”

The jonin eyed him knowingly. “You want to find out who this mysterious guest is, don’t you?”

“You caught me.” The Sannin grinned, unrepentant, firm in his decission.

“Maaa,” Kakashi trailed off thoughtfully. “I’m sorry, Jiraiya-san, but as much as I’d like to help, the pack are already on an assignment.”

Jiraiya’s eyebrows lifted questioningly. “Hm?”

Kakashi sighed. He hadn’t thought it normal that Akiha wasn’t returning, especially after his clone had dispelled so abruptly, so he’d sent his ninken to look for the kid. Considering that he didn’t have any clothing articles to go off on – just Akiha’s faint scent back from the rooftop – it was clear that it would be a hard search. However, Kakashi’s instincts were telling him not to dismiss the situation. This was actually the main reason why he’d missed most of the hokage’s secret meeting: he’d been busy finding out where Akiha lived, retrieving an object with his scent for his dogs to track and asking around for him. No one had seen hide nor hair of the ANBU for hours.

“Let’s just say I’m having them look for someone right now,” Kakashi voiced at last. “And _that_ search takes preference.”

Jiraiya stared at him for a moment, his countenance serious. “I see. But I really need your help with this, Kakashi. Do you think you could spare a minute?”

Kakashi’s eyebrow rose. “I suppose.”

And so, Jiraiya explained his concerns about the mysterious spy, the unfair orders he had received, and exactly why they needed to find out the man’s identity in order to help him. Now, people could say many unsavory things about Jiraiya, but the fact that he was an excellent storyteller was indisputable. As was to be expected, by the time he was done, Kakashi’s face had taken on an air of resolution.

“You’re right. That person needs help.” He closed his book with a snap. “Well then…” drawled Kakashi. “I really can’t recall my pack… so how about we play a guessing game instead?”

“Ah, I see where you’re going with this. You think you know the guy?”

“It’s worth a shot. There aren’t that many S-ranked nin working for us, you know.”

Jiraiya nodded, visibly pleased. “Good, good. Whoever we’re looking for is male, has some sort of disease, and must be skilled enough to undertake solo S-ranks.” The toad sage looked at Kakashi expectantly. “So. Does anyone you know fit the bill?”

The jonin blinked slowly, as though in a trance, but then his eye cleared and he snapped to attention. “Actually… I know just the man.”

“Really?” Jiraiya slung an arm around him. “Great. Then lead the way!”

  


  


  


Meanwhile, Sakura was running around the village like a headless chicken. She couldn’t explain why she thought that the person she’d eavesdropped on and the Anko creeper were related – but she just – she’d never had a stronger gut feeling before! It was true. She was sure of it. Something about the situation just screamed that this was a worst case scenario, and Sakura couldn’t in good conscience not _do_ something. At first, she’d been looking for the nice ninja who’d helped her out and was now possibly missing, but then, realizing just how much of a goose chase that was, she’d started to look for Stalker-san instead.

She’d already gone to the dango stand, to the lake, to their bench… hell, to all the places they’d been together, and yet there was not a trace of him.

 _Just where are you?_ she thought desperately. She’d looked around for Kakashi too, but finding him was even more of a fool’s errand.

Sakura chewed on her nails nervously. Losing her patience, she cupped her palms over her mouth and began to shout:

“Tetsuya! Tetsuya!”

People were staring. Sakura didn’t care. She continued to run.

  


  


  


  


  


Whilst all of this was happening, the other version of Kakashi, a shadow clone which had been left in charge of the exams, was spying on Ino Yamanaka and her entourage, who had gathered in an abandoned park to plan. They called themselves the Ino Squad, he thought with a giggle. He wondered what kind of face Sakura would make if she found out. As it was, the Yamanaka heiress had managed to amass a great deal of candidates together. It was rather impressive, all things considered. In record time, the blonde had tracked down every single candidate who wasn’t up on the roof and convinced them to join her movement. Given, most of them were small-fry from what Kakashi could tell, but he had also spotted the Hyuga heiress, Gai’s little clone, Choji and even the cosplaying suna groupie among the recruits, although the poor kitty looked like he’d rather be anywhere else. Kakashi smiled, bemused. What a funny bunch. So far, they were the only ones who’d demonstrated even a shred of teamwork… which was unexpected, to say the least. He’d have thought Shikamaru might be the one to figure out his test. Not in a million years would Kakashi have guessed that _Ino_ of all people would get the closest to the solution instead… though from what he could see, her approach followed no particular logic; she was completely winging it. Even so… this group was promising. Curious now despite himself, Kakashi used chakra to enhance his hearing.

  


  


  


“Alright, alright,” Ino was saying, speaking to the gathered genin at large, which were all gathered in a circle. “Let’s review what we know about the enemy.”

“They’ve got the sound guy,” Kankuro supplied. “He’s probably the most dangerous one of the lot, since he doesn’t need to get in a direct hit to do some serious damage. I don’t remember anyone else.”

Ino nodded, peering around. “What else?”

“Um, uh, am…” Hinata stared at the floor as she twiddled her thumbs.

“Yes, Hinata-chan?”

Under the combined scrutiny of the Ino Squad, Hinata’s face flushed beet read.

“My cousin Neji is also? Um? There?”

“That’s nice,” said Kankuro sarcastically.

“Can it, Kitty,” Ino snapped. Hyuga Neji was a force to be reckoned with, she knew. But best feign ignorance for now. Ino turned back toward Hinata. “This Neji person… what can you tell us about him?”

Hinata stared at the floor again. “Um, well he’s very strong? And smart, and um, experienced? Because he’s, um, older and…” She trailed off, noticing the looks being shot at her.

“We get it, you have a crush on him,” Kankuro drawled with an eye-roll. “Next.”

Hinata went even redder, if possible. “No, no! That’s not–!”

“It’s okay,” Ino interrupted, glaring at Kankuro. “Hinata, calm down. He’s just trying to get a raise out of you.” Hinata nodded, though she looked like she’d rather be swallowed by the earth. Kankuro snickered.

On her part, Ino suppressed a sigh. Honestly, was she the only reasonable one here?

“Alright,” she spoke up. “Does anyone else have anything to say?”

“Yosh! I do!” Rock Lee exclaimed, raising his hand like a flagpole. From his hiding spot, Kakashi mentally sweat-dropped. He really was a perfect Gai replica. Did this kid have no personality of his own? It was one thing to emulate your idol, yet another thing entirely to completely copy everything about them. Though then again, Kakashi himself was known across all countries as the copy nin, so maybe he shouldn’t talk.

Meanwhile, Ino was looking at Lee expectantly. “Alright. You’re Gai-sensei’s student, right?” she asked. Team ten had information on all the local competitors, so she knew for a fact that this kid was a taijutsu machine.

The taijutsu machine in question gave her a megawatt smile. “That I am! Gai-sensei is the light of my yout– ”

“That’s great,” Kankuro deadpanned. “But get to the point, kid.”

Lee paused, his expression sobering. “It’s about Neji,” he said, an intense look in his eye.

Oh? Kakashi perked up. Neji was Lee’s teammate. Could it be that he actually had a personality of his own? That he refused to raise a hand against his friend, or something like that?

“Neji?” Ino repeated. “Um, Hinata’s cousin, right? What about him?”

“He’s my eternal rival!” Lee exclaimed. Never mind then, thought Kakashi.

“Your… eternal rival? The fuck is that, kid?”

“It means…” Lee trailed off, suddenly losing all his steam. “It means: please leave him to me. I want to be the one to fight him! Yosh! The power of youth will prevail!”

Kakashi sighed into his book. Should he have a talk with Gai about this? It wasn’t really his place… but a part of growing up was, well, to develop your own personality… and wardrobe. He frowned, trying to imagine a chat with Gai regarding his student. The kid was practically his son at this point. Kakashi sighed again. He was pretty sure it wouldn’t go over well. Best not touch the matter with a ten-foot pole then.

Meanwhile, Ino was deliberating on what to do. She didn’t want to reveal this to the other candidates, but she had information on every single Konoha applicant, and that included Neji Hyuga. Her team was the intelligence gathering squad, after all. As a condition to allow them to enter into the exams, Asuma-sensei had given them the assignment to gather intelligence on the contestants, and team ten had more than delivered. But she was getting of track. The point was: Lee’s taijutsu skills were a bad match-up against Neji’s gentle fist technique. And Ino had something else in mind for Lee anyway…

“Lee, listen to me.” Taking a cue from Sakura’s cousin, Ino stared straight into Lee’s eyes to convey the importance of her words. “A rivalry distracting us is the last thing we need right now,” she told him slowly, not unkindly. “Lee, you’re the most skilled in taijutsu out of all of us. That means, we’ll be counting on you to carry the sheets once we get them – and to carry them fast. We can’t afford to have you getting sidetracked.”

“But Ino-san!” Lee exclaimed. “My ri–”

“Listen,” Ino interrupted. “I have a rival too. I get it. But–”

“Then you should be able to respect my desire to get acknowledged by Neji once and for all!”

  


Ino sighed, looking away from Lee’s resolute look, toward all the candidates looking at her expectantly, and then back again.

“Look, Lee. I can sympathize, I really can. But this is about more than just you and me.” She tried for a smile, deciding to pull out her trump-card: flattery. “You need to know – the Ino Squad is counting on you, Lee. You’re the only one who can do this job. I _mean_ it. The key of our operation is you. I.. no – _we_ need to know whether we can depend on you fully for this.” She looked at him imploringly. “Please, Lee.”

There was a tense silence. And if Kakashi knew Gai at all, then… yep.

Lee had visibly melted. “Ino-san!” he exclaimed emotionally, tears streaming down his face. “I…” He collected himself. “Yosh!” Air fist-pump. “Then it will be my pleasure and honor to aid the Ino Squad in such an important way! I will use my hard-earned taijutsu ability to abduct the bed sheets and launch a successful escape!”

Kakashi smiled. The kid had his heart in the right place, that much was clear.

“Thanks, Lee. I really mean it.” Ino smiled, clearly relieved. “Your part in this is going to be invaluable.”

“Yeah, way to go, Lee!” some of the other candidates cheered.

“Uh, yeah,” said another. “not to interrupt or anything… but I also remember this guy with glasses… he didn’t seem like much, but he was doing pretty well all on his own. Should we worry about him?”

“The guy with the ninja cards?” the genin next to him asked. “Yes, I remember him too. He seemed pretty weak though.”

“I thought so too,” Ino chimed in. “But he wasn’t thrown off the rooftop at all. I paid attention, you know? And this guy didn’t fall, period.”

“Perhaps he was feigning weakness?” Choji offered.

Kakashi noted with interest that he wasn’t eating. His shoulders were hunched and he seemed uncertain. Clearly, the Akimichi needed a boost in confidence… but there was a fine line between that and straight out coddling. He wondered how Ino would handle him.

“You’re right, Choji…” the blonde said distractedly, clearly missing the signs. “Let’s be careful around him. He could be dangerous.”

The rest of the Ino Squad nodded their agreement.

“Alright, so what’s the plan?” Kankuro prompted. “This guy,” he pointed at Lee, “is our pack mule. What else?”

“Hey!” Lee bristled.

“Just ignore him,” Ino advised with an eye-roll, but her mind was on Kankuro’s question. What else? What else indeed?

  


It was true that she felt at ease bossing others around, but the feeling of being in control? Of people trusting in Ino’s advice the way she did Shikamaru’s? That was… new. And strangely frightening. She could suddenly understand her teammate so much better, why he fled from responsibility like that. After all, the recompense for a hard job well done, as they say, is an even harder job. More responsibility, more that can go wrong… Ino sighed. She’d always raved about wanting to be team ten’s leader, disliking that Shikamaru usually had the final say on decisions instead… but now that it was her turn to step up and take charge, she didn’t know whether she could do it. But it was too late for doubts. Now she was in too deep. Ino looked around, her gaze fitting from faze to faze, all looking rather at ease, intrigued, excited, more or less confident at least… but what did it say about her that she couldn’t mirror that sentiment? That she had to fake her confidence? That she had to straight out lie to everyone? She had gathered them all with great promises of success, raised their expectations, given them hope to pass… Shit. She, she couldn’t let them down. Not now.

  


  


  


  


  


A few minutes before this, Itachi had returned to the inn. He was now packing. Meanwhile, Karasu, or Shi-chan, or whatever he was currently calling himself, was sitting upon the window-ledge at the other end of the room, looking on disapprovingly.

“Caw! So you’re just going to up and leave? Caw!”

Itachi ignored him, checking the room to make sure he had everything.

“You’re leaving. Caw. Just like that. Without saying goodbye?”

Itachi snapped open a storage scroll and transferred all of the items that belonged to his Tetsuya persona into it hastily. Then he began to fold them all into perfect little squares, methodically layering one upon the other, one upon the other, one upon the other…

“Itachi-dono. Caw. Don’t ignore me!”

At this, Itachi slammed the wardrobe door shut with a loud bang and threw his bag upon the bed. All the clothes he had been folding spilled out in a wrinkled mess.

“Itachi-dono. You’re acting human-like. Caw. It’s odd.”

Itachi shoved the rumpled clothes into a scroll with an aggravated snap of his hand, then activated it with yet another snap. The resulting cloud of smoke indicated that he had used a lot more chakra than was necessary.

“What about Sakura-chan? Caw. Won’t you say goodbye?”

Itachi moved to his shinobi gear and began to put it all into a different scroll, handling the dangerous objects with rough carelessness.

“You should be careful, Itachi-dono. Caw. Caw. Blood can be tracked.”

Itachi stilled, his movements stopping. He had turned his head slightly, exposing part of his let eye and his jaw, which was clenched hard.

“What about your annoying otouto? Caw.”

Unexpectedly, Itachi suddenly whirled around, glared at the crow, and threw a crate at him.

Shi-chan dodged with a shriek, but not without glaring right back. The crate fell out of the window, dropping dango everywhere.

“Oi! That’s littering!” someone yelled.

“Itachi-dono. That’s a dango crate you threw. Caw.”

Itachi had turned back around and was packing again.

“It still had dango in it, Itachi-dono. Caw.”

“Will you shut your beak!” Itachi snapped so suddenly that Shi-chan stopped beating his wings in midair. He was panting heavily.

“Itachi-dono. Your breading is irregular. Caw. Are you okay? Caw. Human breathing patterns are–”

“Please,” Itachi interrupted. “I wish to be alone, Karasu.”

  


Shi-chan stopped fluttering about and looked at Itachi for a long time. He cocked his head, as though thinking. “So you won’t say goodbye? Caw.”

Itachi glared at him quietly and resumed packing. Shi-chan regarded him for a moment longer, a sad tilt to his head. The, wordlessly, he turned around and left through the window.

  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Akiha's alive! Surprise xD  
> Lol keeping quiet about that has been so difficult these past few days. I completely duped you lmao  
> But tbh guys, I spent so much freaking time revising over Akiha's scenes, trying to make him into a likeable, interesting character... My first version of him was apparently a right asshole, so I had to work on that. Gave me a lot of grief. So you guys liking him... err, mourning him... made me so happy, you can't even imagine it. But yes, he's alive.  
> Other things worth mentioning... I'm kinda surprised no one freaked out last chapter about Ino developing a crush on Itachi. I personally thought it was hilarious, cackle-worthy stroke of genius...  
> Last but not least, you might be wondering what will happen to chapter lengths from now on? Well, turns out the vote was a tie. I'm still shocked about that. So yeah, seeing as most of the ppl voting for long said they wouldn't mind shorter chapters either, here you go :P  
> You can expect part two of this in about two weeks (again, without proofreading...)  
> On another note, I ended up getting some normal story-related reviews on my last authors note, so now I don't want to delete it anymore :( That would be an insult to anyone who commented, and I really treasure all of my comments. So I decided to make that chapter into something I'd been planning to do anyway, namely to add it around the end of the story and use it to give a general rundown on cannon deviation, some of the finer plot-points, and as a way to dismantle supposed plot holes my story has (because answering to the same critiques gets a bit tiring, so I'll just answer once, thoroughly, and leave it at that). So if you're the type that's interested in the why's and the what's, go check that out. It'll be up soon. I'll call it /PLOT POINTS/ and move it around so that chapter is always at the end.  
> Anyway, you know comments give me life, so leave me one if you want me to write faster ;)  
> Thanks for reading!


	10. Into the Forest

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Of butterflies, corpses and snakes. Plus: a bad patient.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am finally freeeeee my lads! Hell yes! And to celebrate, here you go! New chapter! Loads of stuff happening here. Enjoy!

To be honest, since she’d started this whole campaign, Ino had kept waiting for Kakashi to appear and scold her for cheating. She was, after all, completely disregarding the groups and basically the entire point of the warfare-like exam by unifying the candidates. But Kakashi hadn’t appeared yet, so that was good, wasn’t it? No news is good news and all that? She didn’t know.

There were about twenty four or so genin in the Ino Squad. And while she appreciated their strength in numbers, it also meant that talking to them all was pretty intimidating.

So she turned back toward the other candidates and tried to sound more confident than she felt as she explained her plan:

“Well… to answer your question, Kankuro, my original idea was to cause some kind of distraction to, um, you know, distract them…”

 _Ugh._ _Could you be any more awkward?_ Ino could almost hear Sakura snipe. _Get a grip, pig!_

But she’d be right. _Get a grip, Ino._

“We distract them and then what?” Kankuro asked.

“Right,” Ino coughed. “So while they’re distracted, Lee swoops in and takes the sheets. Then we beat a hasty retreat and reconvene later on. That’s the… gist of it.” She looked around searchingly, but she couldn’t tell what everyone else was thinking. “Does anyone else have any better ideas?”

No one said anything.

“Uh, great.” Ino chuckled awkwardly into the silence. “Then… distraction it is.”

After yet another minute of quiet, Kankuro thankfully came to her aid:

“So, blondie. How are we doing this then? We’re going to need some kind of strategy to tackle the sound guy, at least. We may have strength in numbers now, but still.”

Ino nodded. Again, he was right. If only Shikamaru were here… she was good at reading people, not battles. Almost as though to agree with her thoughts, Ino suddenly noticed Hinata shifting around in her seat uneasily… almost like she wanted to object to something. So, guessing what the girl was thinking, Ino added: “Yes, we need a strategy. But not just for the sound guy – Hinata’s cousin’s there too. And the glasses guy.”

Hinata seemed to calm at that and Ino felt her stomach fill with pride.

_Nice going, girl. Now I just need to not be a failure. Easy, right?_

“I’m handling the sound guy,” Kankuro said immediately, snapping her back to planning-mode.

Trying to channel her inner-Shikamaru, Ino frowned.

“On your own? But didn’t he beat you already? What are even your skills, Kankuro?”  
“Hey! He just caught me unawares, that’s all!”

“Right.”

“It’s the truth!”

Ino sighed. “Alright then. So what are your awesome skills, if that’s the case?”

Kankuro’s nose scrunched up, giving the impression that he’d rather not say, but finally he relented: “Puppets. You familiar with the suna puppeteer brigade?”

Ino had heard about it, yes, so she nodded thoughtfully. “Long range combat, huh? You’re right. That’s a good match-up. If you manage to hold the sound guy in place, I can take over his body.”

Ino had almost forgotten that this was supposed to be a big deal as the entire Ino Squad stared at her with wide eyes.

“You can _posses_ him?” Kankuro asked faintly, looking somewhat alarmed.

Ino smirked, feeling suddenly a little more confident. “That’s right, Kitty. But I’ll need someone to take care of my body while I’m within the sound guy’s mind.”

“I can do that!” another candidate offered. He was a known pervert.

Ugh. Ino frowned. She wanted to snap something rude at the guy, who was no doubt entertaining thoughts of groping her while she was out of her body, but she held back. Ino was the one in charge here; she couldn’t just throw a tantrum. She had to be _responsible_. Who would’ve thought she’d see the day?

“I’d rather it was someone with some kind of concealment ability,” Ino said after a moment. “Does anyone have any skill like that?”

Another boy raised his hand. This one, Ino knew from the Academy. He was one of the only other civilians besides for Sakura who’d managed to become a genin, one year before them. What was his name again? Makoto?

“I can do a decent concealment genjutsu,” Makoto spoke up. “But it takes a lot of concentration, so… while I _can_ carry you, Ino-san, I’d probably need some help to fend off anyone who did see us.”

“I’ll do the punching!” another girl interrupted. Unfortunately, Ino had the displeasure of knowing her too. She was the disgusting bully who had terrorized Sakura back when they were little. Back in the day, Ino and this girl, Ami, had gotten into very vicious fistfights when Sakura wasn’t looking, but that had been a long time ago. If Amy was going to act civil… then Ino could have the same courtesy.

She straightened her spine. “Alright then, Makoto-san… and Ami, was it?”

The two nodded.

“Alright,” Ino repeated, sucking in a fortifying breath. “Then… I’m in your care.” Ino flashed them an attempt at a trusting smile while mentally praying that this wasn’t a huge mistake. What was she even doing? She longed for her team to be there for her, not some strangers.

“Um, uh, mmm…” Hinata stuttered suddenly. “Ino-san… could I… um, could you leave Neji-nii-san to me?”

Ino blinked, surprised. “Are you… sure?”

Hinata didn’t look sure at all, but she nodded. “I have an idea to, um, defeat him? B-but…” her eyes fitted around nervously. “I would need someone to – to distract him first? Um, because he can see chakra? So… so a lot of people would have to s-surround him so that he doesn’t… see so, um, clearly anymore?”

With all the stuttering, Ino wasn’t sure whether she’d gotten everything… but she thought she’d understood the gist of it. “So…” she ventured, appraising Hinata. “You want to, like, saturate Neji’s byakugan with so much chakra around him that he won’t notice you approaching?”

Hinata nodded, a fierce look on her delicate face that Ino had never seen before. The blonde smiled. _Looks like_ _Hinata_ _has some fight in her_ _after all_ , she thought with pleased surprise.

“Alright then, Hinata,” she decided. “I’m trusting you with this.”

The shy girl smiled, looking truly happy at the vote of confidence. Ino grinned back, but then she paused. “Wait, how many people are you going to need for this again?”

Hinata fidgeted. “I… I’d say… maybe ten?”

Oof. That was a _lot_. Ino shifted around uncomfortably. “Well… alright,” she said uncertainly. “We can do that. Ten people who feel like helping take out Hinata’s cousin, please raise your hands!”

Once that had been agreed upon, the remaining genin were split accordingly, until finally, only Choji remained. He looked a little uncertain at not having been picked, a little crestfallen… poor guy. Ino’s heart went out to him. She’d completely forgotten about her normally quiet teammate, which was just so… unfair. She knew he had self-esteem issues, damn it! She was supposed to be good at noticing these things!

“Choji,” Ino said, trying to play it cool. “Um. I left you for last because your job is the only one I was clear on since the beginning, so yeah.”

The Akimichi seemed to visibly perk up at this, so there was that. But he looked a little uncertain still. “So… what is it, Ino?”

“It’s easy on paper, but it’s probably not going to be in real life.” Ino explained, trying to make it sound cool. Then she nodded toward Lee. “As I said, this whole operation is riding on our, ah, runner to remain undetected. Choji, you’ll be in charge of making sure of that, got it? He needs to get away safely and with the sheets, that’s our top priority. Ino paused, looking into Choji’s eyes to communicate how important this was. The boy nodded. “Choji. Listen. Offensively, you’re one of our strongest fighters, and your jutsu also makes for a great distraction. You’re perfect for this job. So do whatever you have to do to make this work.”

Choji nodded, smiling just the slightest bit.

Seeing his expression made Ino feel things. _Wow,_ _I rock_ , she thought to herself. _Motivational speech? Check_. She totally deserved a promotion just for that.

“Oh? And Makoto-kun?”

The ginger-haired kid jumped, startled.

“Uh, yes?”

Ino suppressed a giggle at his reaction. Trying to sound businesslike was hard, honestly. She coughed. “Until I need my body protected, could you try to cast a genjutsu to keep Lee out of sight?”

Makoto nodded. “Of course. I wish I could do more.”

Ino waved him off. Then she grinned. “Also, Lee… you’re going to have to change into something a little less… neon green. No genjutsu could cover _that_ up.”

Lee looked a little crestfallen at that, but soon enough, his megawatt grin was back on his face.

“Ino Squad, we can do this! YOSH!”

Ino laughed. “Heck yeah!”

“U-un!” Hinata added timidly.

“To victory!” Ino cheered.

“To victory!” the others repeated. (“And the Power of Youth!”)

Kankuro, meanwhile, inched away slightly. “If anyone asks, I don’t know who you are.”

Ino laughed. “Bad Kitty! Don’t be so grumpy!”

“I don’t get paid enough for this.”

“Pfft! Paid? You’re not getting paid at all,” drawled Ino. “Ah, if only!”

Except he _was_ getting paid. Kankuro’s expression sobered then. If only they knew what was coming…

“Looks like it wasn’t our man after all,” Jiraiya said despondently after a moment of silence.

He and Kakashi had just visited a jonin named Hayate, who was a terminal cancer patient. He had kept taking missions even in spite of his condition, insisting that he wanted to keep living normally ‘til the end, but after talking to him, it had become clear that he couldn’t be the spy.

“I thought for sure it’d be him…” Kakashi said apologetically.

“It was worth a shot,” the Sannin told him. “But we should keep looking…” he paused. “Now that I think of it, this person sounded like they’d been stationed in the field for a long time. Do you think our man could be staying at an inn?”

Kakashi looked at him appreciatively. “You’re right. I can’t believe I didn’t think of that sooner.”

“It was remiss of me not to mention that he had likely been at the field before coming here,” Jiraiya said. “What now? Do we search every inn?”

Kakashi paused. “No,” he said slowly, fiddling in his pocket and subsequently producing a map. “There are various areas with inns…” He trailed off, pointing them out in the map. “If my guess is correct, hokage-sama wouldn’t have wanted our guest to stay somewhere with a lot of foreigners lest they recognize him.” His index moved across the map. “That means he’s most likely staying at the civilian district… nowhere too shady nor too expensive… preferably away from the main streets… preferably out of the way of rooftop traffic…”

“Rooftop traffic?” Jiraiya guffawed.

Kakashi glared.

“Right, sorry, sorry. Please continue.”

The jonin sighed. “There are only a few inns which meet all these requirements. If we hurry, we can check them all in under an hour.”

“Then let’s go!”

And so, the search for Itachi began in earnest.

In the meantime, Sakura had been shouting wildly as she ran through the village in her own frantic search. Just then, she suddenly spotted a crow flying right toward her. A very familiar crow with a very familiar scar on its beak…

“Shi-chan!” she exclaimed. “Shi-chan, over here!”

“I can see you, human. Caw. No need to shout.”

Sakura stared, open-mouthed.

“My summoner is being worrisome. Caw. He is beside himself. Caw.”

Sakura’s brain finally caught up to her: “You can TALK? Are you kidding me?”

The crow stared at her wordlessly, perching on her arm.

Sakura shrugged it off, the sense of urgency returning to her. “Alright, whatever. Listen, Shi-chan. Do you know where I can find–?”

Before she could finish her sentence, Shi-chan had taken off flying at breakneck speed.

Without hesitating, Sakura sprinted after him.

A moment later, they had stopped before an inn. Sakura didn’t understand. Was Stalker-san staying there? Say what? Didn’t he live in Konoha? But she couldn’t stop to question it because by then Shi-chan had already circled around the back and flown into the building through a specific window. Stopping in her tracks, Sakura stared at the open window a little uncertainly. This felt like breaking in, like a breach of privacy… but no. This was important. Someone’s life could be on the line. And so, with a mighty push of her chakra, she ricocheted straight in.

At that very second, Itachi had just opened said window to leave, and had poked his head out until –

“OW!”

Sakura’s forehead collided with his like a derailed bullet train.

…was he dreaming?

Itachi stared at Sakura’s apparition, wide-eyed, and only just managed to catch her before she fell out of the window. At the last second, he had instinctively coated his head protectively with chakra, but Sakura had had no such foresight, and was now clutching at it in pain as she rolled around the floor.

Itachi continued to stare, absolutely floored. Those bloodstains on the carpet would be a nightmare to get out, he thought faintly. He was half tempted to use kai, just in case this was some odd genjutsu he’d been caught in. But then he saw Shi-chan, who was practically radiating smugness, and _then_ he understood – and nearly threw another dango box at him. He had brought Sakura here? Had he no understanding of discretion? Of wanting to be left alone? His hand twitched toward another dango box, but he refrained.

_Calm down, Itachi. This isn’t like you._

Instead, he looked at Sakura again. Her forehead was bleeding, she was whimpering in pain, and her entire shirt was soaked with blood. Head injuries bleed a lot, he knew. But that didn’t stop Itachi from panicking as he went into a frenzy looking for tissues and ice. Now he had to reopen all of his poorly-packed scrolls to look for the medic kit, throwing them haphazardly about as he ransacked his entire arsenal, but he did it in record time.

In under twenty seconds, he had located the bandages and was crouching before Sakura.

“Here, hold this to your face,” he said urgently, as he quickly bit into a bit of gauze tape to prepare a makeshift bandage. Sakura had stopped crying, though her eyes were still tightly shut. And thank god for that, because Itachi, who had been about to leave, had already been attired in his Akatsuki outfit, complete with the slashed forehead protector. He'd been about to cover it with a hat and a genjutsu, but if Sakura had seen... he shuddered to think of the consequences. Thankfully, he'd been wearing civilian clothes beneath the cloak, so Itachi quickly shrugged it off, pocketed the forehead protector and hastily retrieved his glasses and even the bandana. After such a close call, he'd rather not take any chances. Thankfully, Sakura's mind seemed to be elsewhere.

“Did… did you see that?” she asked after a while of pressing an ice pack to her forehead.

“See what?”

“I finally got over my fear of heights!” Sakura beamed, looking remarkably chipper, considering.

Itachi blinked dumbly. “Are you concussed?” He started bandaging her forehead for good measure.

Sakura kept smiling at him, even as her blood continued to ruin the floor. “I jumped _two_ stories high just now! Didn’t you see?” she exclaimed. “Without any help at all!”

Despite himself, Itachi chuckled. “That’s good.” He pressed his hand against the bandage, giving the knot a final tug. It was done. “Are you feeling better now?”

Sakura shot him a smile and a made peace sign. “Now that I’ve found you! I was looking all over the place, you know…” Her expression shuttered, as though suddenly having remembered something.

“What is it?” Itachi questioned. Had he missed something? Was she concussed after all?

“You need to help me!” Sakura exclaimed suddenly. “I think someone’s in mortal peril! We've got to look for him! At the forest of death!”

“But, I…”

“Quick! Now!” she said hurriedly. “You’re a strong ninja, aren’t you? You _have_ to help!”

And without giving Itachi any more time to question it, she snatched his arm and began to drag him toward the window. He could barely repack all his scrolls yet again and stow them away in a hurry and then they were out of the inn. The floor was surely permanently damaged.

Once on the street, Sakura started to run without prompt, dragging Itachi by the arm, an agitated expression on her face. Her worry was contagious.

Meanwhile, on the rooftop in front of the inn stood Jiraiya and Kakashi, both examining the building critically.

“You think he’s here?” the Sannin asked.

“Hmm… we’ll have to go in and find out… ask about the residents,” Kakashi replied. “And do it right this time.”

“Should I disguise myself?” Jiraiya muttered. This was the second inn they were checking… after the owner had kicked them out of the first one upon recognizing Jiraiya as the hotsprings pervert.

“Oh, look. That’s my student,” Kakashi said, completely disregarding his question. “Sakura-chan. She’s got my ninken wrapped around her little finger.”

Jiraiya glanced at Kakashi, surprised. Then he followed his gaze.

“She looks like she’s in a hurry,” he commented, looking at the girl curiously… and at the elder teen she was practically manhandling behind her. “Wonder who that poor sod is?”

Kakashi eyed the teen with disinterest, taking in his civilian clothes, small chakra reserves, glasses, and most notably, the fact that he was letting a thirteen-year-old girl drag him about, and shrugged.

“Probably a civilian. Maybe her cousin? Second cousin?”

Meanwhile, Itachi had of course realized just who was watching him and was freaking out. It was the reason why he had concealed most of his chakra and adopted a civilian gait… but unfortunately there was nothing he could do about his illness. Perhaps it was the nerves, but of course his lungs decided to act up _right then_ and he just had to go and break into a horrible coughing fit. He was more than a little horrified as Sakura stopped running, leaving them standing right there, like sitting ducks beneath the danger. Itachi tried to shake his head, to tell her to keep going, but his lungs were being uncooperative. Sakura, meanwhile, was looking at him worriedly and patting his shoulder. “You okay?”

No, he was most definitely not okay, he thought as he tried to strategically double over in a way that would hide his face.

Meanwhile, Jiraiya and Kakashi were looking on with pity.

“Poor fellow,” Jiraiya commented.

“Hmm…” Kakashi wasn’t even looking at him. “I wonder what happened to Sakura’s forehead…”

Down below, Itachi was thanking his lucky stars for Sakura. If they’d caught him at the inn, something told him that this encounter would’ve gone very differently. Not to mention, he mused wryly, Sakura was his best disguise. Literally. Even better than his glasses. After all, no one would expect a dangerous criminal to hang out with pink-haired preteens in his free time. It was perfect.

“Feeling better?” Sakura asked, looking worried.  
Itachi smiled at her, though more because he felt smug at having hoodwinked Kakashi-senpai. “Yes, let’s go.”

A little uncertain, Sakura nodded, and together they took off.

“Really. Doesn’t he know a thing about the flu?” Kakashi mused. “It’s not healthy to do so much exercise when sick. What a bad patient.”

Jiraiya snorted. “Whatever. We still have four inns to go, so let’s hurry.”

Minutes later, Sakura and Itachi had made it to the entrance of The Forest of Death.

“Are you sure this is it?” she asked, staring worriedly at the creepy trees beyond the fence.

Itachi frowned, turning back toward her.

“It is. You should stay here. I’ll go.”

“No!” Sakura exclaimed. “I’m coming too. I have to help!”

“If you come with me,” Itachi said slowly, “then you must stay by my side at all times. Do you understand?”

Sakura nodded. “Yes, of course.”

“Very well then,” he muttered, looking at her seriously. “Please pay attention to this, Sakura.”  
The genin looked at him oddly, but then she felt his chakra do something strange. What?

“You flared your chakra?” she guessed.

“Yes,” Itachi confirmed. “This particular pattern is an SOS signal. If you are in danger, I want you to do it.”

Sakura nodded, resolute. “Like this?” She tried to flare her own chakra experimentally. After a few tries, she had the distress signal down pat.

“Good,” Itachi said. “Your chakra reserves are small, so you must flare all of it when in danger.”

Sakura bit her lip. Things were getting a little too real for comfort, but there was no turning back now. “I will. But hopefully it won’t come to that.”

Itachi nodded. “Let’s go.”

And without further ado, they entered the forest.

The Forest of Death was the epitome of what a creepy forest should look like. It gave Sakura the hibbie jibbies, and the more they advanced into its murky depths, the more uncertain she felt. It was also lucky that she had managed to master chakra jumps that morning, because that meant she and Itachi didn’t have to stay on the forest floor and could instead travel through the tree branches. Apparently, Itachi had sent out his crows and was using them to scout the area.

“You can see through their eyes?” Sakura asked curiously.

“Yes, though it takes a lot of my attention,” he replied distractedly. Then he suddenly tensed. “A pack of fire wolves is in that area. We need to turn around.”

A moment later they were walking upon the forest floor, because apparently, fire wolves were very territorial about the tree branches. Sakura’s feet hurt from all the running she’d been doing, and she felt like the forest was too large to find much of anything. What if she had been wrong?

She flared her chakra in the SOS signal again, hoping that some stray ANBU would notice and come to their aid. They really could use some extra help.

Itachi twitched.  
“Will you stop that?” he said tersely. “The distress signal is for emergencies only!”

“I’m trying to see if I can get us help,” Sakura snapped. She wanted to be of use too, damn it!

Itachi clicked his tongue. “You’ve been flaring it for fifteen minutes; no one will come.”

“You don’t know that!”

Without saying anything else, Itachi turned around and continued walking, a scowl on his face.

 _What’s with him?_ thought Sakura, annoyed. _Who pissed in his cereal this morning?_

It was then that a strange butterfly fluttered toward her.

_Awww, how pretty!_

Sakura watched it curiously as it approached, finally settling on her forehead. She tried to look at it, though she obviously couldn’t see it. It was after a long moment of thought that she realized – the butterfly was _drinking her blood_.

Horrified, Sakura jumped away and squeaked. She waved her hand at her forehead in a fright until the vampiric butterfly thankfully got the hint and fluttered off. Sakura followed it with her eyes. She wondered… if it was attracted to blood, did that mean it would lead her to the person they were looking for? Maybe the poor guy was bleeding out somewhere?

 _It’s worth a shot!_ she thought excitedly. Making sure to flare her chakra to inform Itachi of her decision as she went, Sakura trudged after the butterfly… deeper and deeper into the most dangerous part of the forest.

By the time Itachi realized she was missing, it was much too late. He had felt her flare her chakra, yes, but after twenty minutes of her continuously doing so, the signal hadn’t even registered; it hadn’t been enough to break his concentration on the crow-controlling jutsu. And now Sakura was missing.

It somehow didn’t sink in until he had had his crows comb through his surroundings and yet – they were empty. She was gone. Disappeared without a trace, as though she’d been swallowed by the earth… nothing was left.

“Sakura?” Itachi called, his heart sinking a mile a minute. “Sakura, where are you?”

Sakura, meanwhile, was walking through a dark, shadowed forest path, following an entire array of vampire butterflies which glowed in the darkness. More and more of them kept joining the odd procession, and Sakura was sure that she was onto something here. But then the butterflies stopped, fluttering towards something in the middle of an approaching clearing. Sakura hastened towards it. The strange object was completely covered in butterflies, to the point where she couldn’t see what it was. Once she got a little closer, all the butterflies dispersed. And it was then she noticed… the strange object was a body. A person. A decomposing person.

Bugs of all sizes and shapes were circulating around shallow skin, flies buzzed through blood-matted hair, rats scurried under the legs…

And that's when she saw – the skin of their face was missing.

For the second time that day, Sakura felt the urge to retch. Just as she was about to leave, to run away, to get help… the ground beneath her began to quake, suddenly elevating high, high, higher – and Sakura realized that she was standing upon something scaly. Something alive. Something like, like… like a giant snake.

A scream left her throat as the snake’s head turned, staring at her through mustard yellow eyes, hungry and dangerous.

Sakura inched back, trying to flare her chakra, clinging fearfully its back, for she was too high up, she wouldn’t survive the fall. In that moment, Sakura was so nervous, so terrified, that she’d completely forgotten the SOS pattern Itachi had taught her. Oh, no. Oh, no, she thought frantically. She reached into her pouch, chugging all of her shuriken at the snake.

They bounced off like rubber balls.

She tried with kunai, but it was the same.

The snake lunged toward her, jaws wide open. Sakura screamed and threw another kunai at it, but nothing could put the beast to a stop. Terrified beyond belief, Sakura screeched once more, couldn’t stop screaming – twisted to dodge poisonous fangs – and next second… she was inside the snake.

She was _inside of the snake_ , as in, it had eaten her.

She was falling down its slippery, horrible gullet, screaming and thrashing still.

And in that moment, Sakura knew: she was done for.

Meanwhile, Itachi stopped moving. “Did you hear that?” he asked. Next to him, Karasu was looking on questioningly. But Itachi could swear he had heard a scream. But from where? He looked around frantically. It was then that he heard a panting sound and, seconds later, Bull broke through the foliage. For a moment, Itachi and the dog just stared at each other. Then they simultaneously moved.

“Bull,” Itachi said, stepping closer. “Bull, you need to help me find Sakura. Now.”

Bull didn't need to be told twice. Without wasting a second, he began to sniff the ground and took off. Heart beating wildly in his rib cage, Itachi followed.

Meanwhile, Sakura had managed to stop slipping down the literal hole, though she was still screaming. It was pitch black and she couldn’t see anything. Fear of the darkness was nothing compared to fear of a pitch black, unending tunnel that was actually a snake’s insides.

It was only thanks to her superior chakra control that she managed to somehow stick to one of the walls, stopping the downward spiral into death. Sakura breathed heavily as she tried to calm down. The parts of her skin that were touching the walls hurt, but she knew she couldn’t focus on that now. By the time she’d finally managed to slow her breathing, she realized that she couldn’t see …but she could sense chakra. And right then, she sensed something. It was weak, it was dying, it was a human.

Could it be?

“Is anyone there?” Sakura stuttered, horrified.

“H-here,” someone croaked. Their voice was so weak that she could barely distinguish it, but she thought that this was very possibly the person she’d been looking for. Sakura tried to crawl toward him, though this wasn’t easy thanks to the acidic stomach walls. Nevertheless she persisted, coating her feet and knees with as much chakra as she could and filling her lungs to the brim with chakra. She could barely breathe at all as it was, and if it hadn’t been for the respiratory enhancement technique Stalker-san had taught her, she’d be dead already. And so Sakura persisted in her slow, arduous crawl up the snake’s gullet. If someone had asked her later on, she wouldn’t have been able to say how she did it… but somehow, she made it to the other ninja’s side.

“A-are you okay, shinobi-san?”

“N-never better,” the other muttered.

Sakura cringed. “I’m so, so, sorry…”

“Please,” the other wheezed. “Get us out of here.”

She only wished she could. _But how?_

And then Sakura remembered: Yuna’s explosive tag. She still had it in her pouch! If she detonated it… would it be enough to open the snake from the inside? But how were they going to survive such a direct explosion?

“I, um, I have an explosive tag on me,” Sakura ventured hesitantly.

“Doesn’t work,” said the other person. “I’ve already tried…”

“But…” Sakura paused, recalling how peculiar the tag was, how Yuna had remarked it was for desperate situations only. Well, this one more than qualified, didn’t it. “This tag is different…” Sakura argued uncertainly. “It’s really strong. I don’t… I don’t think we can resist the blast.”

The other ninja was quiet.

“Sh-shinobi-san?”

“…can you use chakra coating?” he asked roughly. Chakra coating? Was that why he had stayed alive for so long, even despite the snake’s toxic acids?

Sakura shook her head mutely, then remembered he couldn’t see her. Focusing on sensing him, she could tell that he was doing something odd with his chakra… concentrating it around his body in swirling patterns that felt sort of compact… if that was a word for it? Like there was a great chakra density on the surface of his skin? Was that chakra coating? It felt almost like an armor, so to speak. An armor made of chakra. But would something seemingly intangible work against such an explosion…?

This was hardly the time to learn any new skills, but Sakura hardly had a choice in the matter as she began trying to replicate the technique. It was a hard concept to grasp, and, had she not been able to sense the other’s chakra so clearly, she’d have been unable to. But somehow, she managed it. At least, she thought she had, adding layers upon layers of her own chakra to her so called armor. It was so much chakra that she could probably only keep this up for a minute, at most, but even so, she didn’t have the largest reserves out there. Would it be enough?

“Hurry,” the shinobi croaked.

He was right. They didn’t have much time. Breathing heavily, Sakura retrieved Yuna’s gift.

“A-alright,” she stuttered fearfully, crawling toward the other ninja. “Sh-shinobi-san, I’m about to activate the tag…”

Hesitantly, she wrapped her arms around him. He was barely breathing anymore, and his chakra armor was weak in some places – he must be very close to death.

Sakura hesitated, fingering Yuna’s tag. What if it didn’t work? What if she hadn’t grasped chakra coating? Or if it wasn’t enough? She was painfully aware of the consequences.

“Come on…” the shinobi rasped. “Do it.”

He was right. She had to be strong.

_Be strong, Sakura._

And then, without allowing herself to think more on it, Sakura activated the tag. She waited, terrified, until the very last second, and then she threw it as far and fast as she could up the snake’s gullet, screaming “shannaroooo” as she wrapped her arms around the other ninja and braced herself.

A beat, just one, of absolute silence, where everything seemed to stop.

And then the world ended.

There was a blast so loud she couldn’t hear it, so bright she couldn’t see it, some ungodly sound the snake made, the tearing of its very scales, of wind, of everything, and then Sakura lost all sense of where she was. She was flying, she could tell. She couldn’t sense anything but the blast, the huge blast, the humongous amount of chakra that had been dispelled – she was worried she’d hit her head if she kept falling, she could barely keep it together –

And then someone caught her.

The person’s chakra was familiar – it was Itachi.

This was all Sakura needed to know to pass out.

She was safe.

Twenty minutes later, Kakashi received a message.

One minute later, he was running into the hospital.

Shikaku Nara was already there, in the waiting room of the ICU. They were alone, but they could both feel at least eight chakra signatures inside, one of them fading in and out like a dying lamp. Without needing to know Akiha very well, Kakashi immediately placed it as his.

“Thank you,” Shikaku said roughly.

Kakashi shook his head. “I didn’t find him. It must’ve been someone else.”

“You raised the alarm,” Shikaku replied. “You’re the one who warned everyone that he was missing… whoever has found him must’ve done so thanks to you.”

Kakashi wanted to deny it, to say that he had reacted way too slowly, that he shouldn’t have helped Jiraiya, that this was all his fault – as usual – but he refrained. Now wasn’t the time.

“What happened to him?” he asked instead. He didn’t want to be a bother, but he needed to know.

Shikaku’s lip pursed. “The higher-ups are keeping it quiet.”

“Even from you?”

“Yes.”

That couldn’t be. As far as Kakashi knew, Shikaku already was very much a higher-up.

If even he, who seemed to have some sort of familiar tie to Akiha, was being kept in the dark… just what was happening? Beyond Nara Shikaku, there was only Itona Takenaka – the ANBU commander – as well as Danzo and the hokage himself.

But Shikaku was jonin commander. He should have clearance. More so if Akiha was a Nara, and judging by his presence in the waiting room, someone he knew well. And yet, he was still being kept in the dark. Kakashi’s instincts told him that whatever the reason for that was, it was bad news. His instincts told him he had better prepare himself.

Both shinobi were too distracted with their own thoughts and worries to notice Itachi’s carefully-woven concealment genjutsu as he slipped past them, carrying Sakura. She had received severe lacerations over her entire body – nothing life-threatening, but still cause for concern. He should’ve already brought her to the medics, yet Itachi had waited. He felt terrible about that, but he’d had no choice: he couldn’t allow anyone to establish a connection between the forest’s events and Sakura. Not only to protect her, but also his own cover.

She needed treatment, yes, but he couldn’t afford for it to be at the hospital. If he brought her to the regular shinobi or even civilian care units, Kakashi or Danzo would be onto him in seconds. And Danzo discovering his connection with Sakura was almost worse than Kakashi blowing his cover. No, he couldn’t let that happen.

Taking all of this into account, Itachi knew what he had to do. There was only one thing, really. He had to bring Sakura to Yuna, he had to wipe Sakura’s memories of the forest, and he had to do it soon. He knew that if Sakura remembered, she’d tell Kakashi at the very least, unwittingly involving herself in matters that were too dangerous to be involved in, and also mentioning Itachi’s presence, which couldn’t be worse timing. Danzo taking an interest in Sakura was also the last thing he wanted, if the man’s track record was anything to go by. Intelligent children that would not be missed were the man’s sustenance, he knew. And, though he had been spared the worst of it, he had undergone some of ROOT’s conditioning. And so, Itachi concluded, feeling a stab of guilt in his chest, for her own sake as well as his, he would have to lie to Sakura, manipulate her very mind, abuse her trust… He hated himself for it, but he knew he’d do it. And, Itachi added with trepidation, he would have to lie to Danzo in his report. He had never lied to a superior before. Lying to Danzo would be even harder, due to the seal the elder had placed on his tongue to insure his truthfulness during the events of the Uchiha coup. But a lie by omission (Sakura’s) should be doable… He also needed to wipe Bull's memory of the incident, he added mentally. Shit.

And so, instead of leaving Sakura in the gentle care of the nurses, Itachi ran toward Yuna’s shop. He hoped she’d be equipped enough to deal with these kinds of injuries.

Remembering his other duties, he then created two shadow clones as he went. The first he sent to the hokage (the hope of never meeting him again had been rather short-lived) and the second clone he sent to T & I. It was time to steal some memory-altering S-Rank jutsu. The fact that this was a criminal offense didn’t particularly matter, since he was already a criminal anyway.

A few minutes later, Kakashi’s proctoring clone ran out of chakra and subsequently dispelled, assaulting the already tired jonin with yet another wave of exhaustion. He’d stretched himself thin during the course of the day. First with the exam, then looking for Akiha, worrying about his students, looking for the spy, summoning his pack, making clones, the hospital… and now he was paying for it. Worse yet: the return of his clone’s memory informed him that the exam would be ending in a few minutes. As much as he’d rather keep Shikaku company as they waited, he had to go greet the winners.

So, feeling like an ass as he did so, Kakashi excused himself and dragged his sorry self toward the hokage mountain. What he found was… all the ingredients destroyed into a pulp, all of the bed sheets dirty or slashed, and about sixteen weary-looking genin with deer-caught-in-headlights expressions.

Kakashi stared at them listlessly.

They stared back.

His clone probably knew what had happened, but he wasn’t in the mood to sort through memories right now. Not a single person. He mustered them all. Not a single person had done it right.

“Umm… Hatake-san?” the sand kunoichi ventured.

Kakashi just stared at the sky and felt like taking a nose dive off the hokage mountain.

“Hmm… yes?”

“What now?”

Tearing his gaze from the sky, Kakashi looked at her drolly. “You know, guys, I think the results speak for themselves.”

“But that’s unfair!” Ino exclaimed, pointing toward the ruined bed sheets. “That was a last second mishap! We’ve fought tooth and nail to get here!”

“Oh?” drawled Kakashi. “And did it occur to you that this test wasn’t about fighting in the first place?”

There was a shocked silence.

“W-what do you mean?” Kankuro stuttered. “It was literally a battle royale.”

Kakashi sighed.

“Being a shinobi is about _thinking_ before you fight,” he remarked coldly. “Why do you reckon all of your scores depended on the _team’s_ average?”

The genin stared at him mutely.

“If all of you had worked together, gotten one point each,” Kakashi continued, “then your average would be one. No one would’ve been below the average. All of you would have passed. It’s as simple as that.”

The genin’s eyes widened comically.

“Oh my god,” Temari said in horror. “I can’t believe the answer was so obvious.”

Even Shikamaru looked stumped, opening and closing his mouth repeatedly. Kakashi looked away quickly, recalling his father at the ICU room and feeling guilty. Shikamaru had some bad news ahead of him.

“But, but these guys aren’t our teammates,” Kiba tried to defend. “How were we supposed to trust them?”

Kakashi sighed. Now he was recalling Akiha’s words… he tried to concentrate on the test. “A chunin must often work with other ninja he hasn’t met in his life,” he told Kiba. “Why do you think I put you into teams where you don’t know anyone? This isn’t your genin test anymore. Being a chunin is about more than just you and your goals.”

Kiba lowered his head, contrite.

“But what about the stupid bargaining thing?” the Suna kunoichi questioned. “What does that have to do with being a chunin?”

“Hm? Who said anything about bargaining?” Kakashi said with disinterest. “You could’ve just taken the object and left a ryo behind. That doesn’t count as stealing, does it?”

“But – but that’s stupid!” Kiba interjected again. “Why couldn’t we just have stolen it period?”

“No particular reason. Just didn’t want my test to be a bad role model. That’s it.”

The genin broke out into chaos amongst themselves.

“That’s it?!”

“Huh?!”

“I don’t believe this!”

“God, the answer to the test was dangling in front of us the whole time!”

As he listened to their headache-inducing screams, Kakashi worked on holding back yet another sigh, wishing the day would just end. He really didn’t care about his exam at all anymore…

Slowly, he did a headcount. There were around fifteen genin, give or take. That was a twenty-five percent passing rate. It was acceptable. Technically, they had all failed, but the hokage would have his head if he went through with that, so…

“You all pass,” Kakashi informed them.

“Wait, what?!” Ino exclaimed.

“Yes, hurrah, you guys.” Kakashi gave the kids a tired eye-crinkle. “Maa, I’ll leave you to celebrate.”

“Wait, what now?” Temari yelled, but by then Kakashi had already ambled toward the hokage mountain’s precipice and jumped right off.

“Hatake-san? Hatake-san??” he could hear them yell in the distance.

Apathetically, Kakashi mused what was up with the name change. Did they respect him now? The mere idea felt daunting. Seconds before he reached the ground, Kakashi pressed chakra into his feet until he was once again stuck against the precipice wall. Then he walked the next few meters and dragged his sorry self toward his flat to the sounds of worried genin yelling at him in the distance. He barely recalled reaching his apartment or even his bed, but he did remember his last thought: sometimes he wished he could be a jellyfish, just drifting about, stinging unsuspecting little kids and with no responsibilities in the horizon. Yes, a jellyfish would be nice.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so for anyone wondering, Bull was in the forest bc he was looking for Akiha. Or in otherwords, Kakashi was the one who inadvertently saved both Sakura and Akiha, though he doesn't know because of Itachi's bad habit of hypnotizing his dogs.
> 
> As I mentioned earlier, I've created the /PLOT POINTS/ chapter, which will always be at the very end. I'll use it to answer to supposed plot hole concerns that pop up a lot and explain canon deviation. Or whatever the hell I feel like, to be honest. As for me, I'm happily enjoying my vacation now!


	11. /PLOT POINTS/

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> If you got the update notification, chances are the chapter you're looking for is the previous one.

Plot holes explained

Here are some of the most asked questions:

**1) Why are Sakura’s parents so clueless about the Uchiha massacre?**

> If you remember, on episode three of Naruto classic, Sakura makes fun of Naruto for not having parents in front of Sasuke. And when Sasuke understandably snaps at her after that, she has no clue why. Similarly, when they’re introducing themselves and Sasuke declares his intentions to kill a certain man, Sakura has no clue what he’s talking about either. Now, she’s a smart girl. If she’d known about the massacre, she would’ve probably realized what he was talking about. It’s canon that she’s the mature, bookworm type around adults, so if her parents knew, they’d likely have discussed it with her. I imagine even clan heads didn’t immediately tell their kids about the brutal mass-murder that had occurred to their classmate’s family, partly to spare their kids, partly to spare Sasuke… so she wouldn’t have found out through Ino either. And at the age where Ino is old enough to know already, they’re no longer friends.
> 
> Okay, so Canon Sakura doesn’t know. But why don’t her parents? Well, that’s a question you should probably ask Kihsimoto, not me. But after thinking about it for a while, I figure that their lack of knowledge actually makes sense. I mean, after the massacre, the Konoha authorities obliviously wouldn’t have wanted to spook their civilians and merchants – it would’ve been really bad for the economy and the Academy application rates for obvious reasons – so it makes sense it’d be kept as low profile as possible. The massacre is a form of weakness; Konoha isn’t about to go shouting about it from the rooftops. The other ninja villages would have found out anyway – heck, every ninja old enough to be a chunin probably has heard of the massacre at some point – but ninja and civilians are close-knit groups which don’t interact much, thus it makes sense that a lot of civilians wouldn’t have heard of it.
> 
> So it’s not a secret, per se, but something not very well known by the civilian portions of the population, especially not by small merchants like Sakura’s parents. There was the military police, of course, which disappeared after the massacre, but the official statement was probably that it got disbanded – and most civilians would’ve taken that at face value, mainly because it’s “ninja business” that doesn’t concern them. You could argue my point if you want, but as I said, it’s canon that Sakura doesn’t know about the massacre at twelve, so. Also, as you’ll find out in chapter ten, in this story, Sakura’s parents are immigrants, meaning they are even less informed than most civilians.

  
**2) Why do people not recognize Itachi?**

> Okay, so it’s canon that Itachi massacred the clan at 12-13, right? Some people say it was even sooner, but the widely-accepted age is thirteen. And yet, Kishi obviously hadn’t decided that when he first introduced Itachi in Naruto classic, which explains why he was drawn as way older and portrayed with a deep voice. However, in my headcanon, Itachi was thirteen and his voice and body looked the part, regardless of how he was first drawn (sorry if you disagree, that’s just how I see it).
> 
> Also, as shown in Itachi Shinden, his stress marks got really pronounced _during_ his last year in the village, once he’d become captain of his own ANBU squad and was reporting to Danzo. Call it a headcanon, but I think he probably didn’t interact with a lot of people during that last year. I mean, Itachi no longer was in Kakashi’s team, he was wearing his mask during ANBU missions, didn’t trust his new teammates at all (they were from Root)… and on top of that, he was rarely at home, and when he was, he probably didn’t go out on walks. In other words, very few people outside of the Uchiha even saw him at all that during that year, meaning: Kakashi and co. didn’t even see how pronounced his stress marks had gotten during that time. And why is this relevant? Well, it’s relevant because they’re Itachi’s most recognizable feature. Without knowing of them, recognizing him would be a lot harder.
> 
> Now, on top of that, imagine this: between the last time the general public saw him and now, Itachi has had a growth spurt, his voice and face have changed, plus he’s dressing in civilian clothes, wears glasses and a bandana designed to take attention away from his hairstyle and he even makes his chakra and gait match those of a civilian. Let’s be honest, guys, I don’t think anyone would realistically recognize him at that point, besides for maybe Sasuke, but not even Sasuke would recognize him based on his voice alone.

**Why are all the ninja being so incompetent? For example, why didn’t Kakashi notice that he got tricked by Orochimaru, why did Akiha blindly rush into danger, etc?**

> Okay, so let's put it like this. Akiha is pretty arrogant. first, he thinks Anko isn't a real threat –he just believes she was messing with team seven in order to get back at Kakashi. Second, he believes it's Anko, whom he's confident he can take in a fight. Third, this guy is sixteen and in the village, which is supposed to be safe. How should he have known that most of the other ANBU had been sent away for a few hours by the hokage due to Itachi's visit? How should he have known that during that exact time frame, there was way less security than usual? Kakashi made a similar judgment call when he chose to continue the mission to Wave country and he’s way more experienced. In short, Akiha’s assessment would’ve been okay if not for the crucial fact that it was Orochimaru he ended up facing. What with powerhouses like Madara, people kinda forget that Orochimaru is very, very strong too.

  
**Next on the list: Why is Kakashi being so obtuse?**

> First off, let me just say that in any good book, the characters make mistakes. It gets boring otherwise. But to be honest, you can’t fault Kakashi for this one. To put things into perspective, he was fooled, yes, but by Orochimaru. Who is a sannin. And a master of camouflage the likes of which fooled the hokage, if you remember. Plus the entire sand village. For months.

> Besides, Kakashi didn't even know Anko personally very well, so how was he supposed to know she was being impersonated?  
> Also, Sakura had a sprained ankle. Which, had that been the real Anko, would be a very tame injury, guys. Everyone’s freaking out because we know it’s Orochimaru, but Kakashi has no way of knowing, and, dude, it’s a sprained ankle. Why should he suspect something to be wrong based on just that?

> More, even though Kakashi had literally no reason to believe something was wrong, he still had enough good instincts to send an ANBU to check on Naruto. And why didn’t he immediately realize something was wrong with Akiha? Well, there are many reasons why the his clone could've puffed away initially. Obviously, if more time passes and he still isn't back, Kakashi would probably get worried, but from his perspective currently, it's just a clone puffing away. There's millions of reasons why that could've happened.  
> So basically, no, Kakashi is not incompetent or OOC. The situation is just very, very unusual and hard to deal with.  
> Anyway, sorry for the rant! Just trying to defend Kakashi, he's my bby.

#  **The canon deviation: explained**

How is it possible, you may be thinking, that just Sakura raising her hand could change so many things? How could it change her meeting Itachi, or Kakashi being a better (somewhat) teacher, or the invasion, or any number of other things?  
Well, it’s complicated. But I’m not lying when I say that all of those are connected. To explain my logic, as well as supposed plot holes that aren’t plot holes, I’ll be setting aside this one chapter.

Here we go!

Canon Deviation:

  * Sakura raising her hand has three major outcomes:




1) team seven doesn’t pass the first stage of the chunin exam

2) Sasuke gets mad at Sakura

3) Kakashi is warmed by Sakura’s display of teamwork (remember, she had solved all the problems, but raised her hand out of empathy for Naruto). Due to this, he revisits his opinion on Sakura much earlier, which changes from “random pink girl” to the person in team seven who, against all predictions, has taken to Kakashi’s teachings the most. His teachings being… nonexistent except for teamwork and tree walking, but that’s more than enough in Kakashi’s book. So basically, Sakura raising her hand shows him her potential as the “glue” which could potentially keep team seven together – the key to their teamwork – and it also endears her to him.

The ramifications:

1) In regards to the exam:

  * Since Naruto didn’t get to give his motivational speech during the test, a lot more candidates failed, which leads to the other villages protesting for bias, something which in turn forces the hokage and co. to look for an easier second stage test in order to appease them (which will eventually lead to Kakashi becoming the proctor).

  * Orochimaru no longer has a reason to infiltrate the second exam and is forced to look for another way to get to team seven, which in turn results in Anko’s death and a lot more stuff you’ll find out about soon. Basically, Orochimaru has thus become a wildcard.




2) In regards to team seven: due to his new appreciation for Sakura, Kakashi decides to start training her. Since she’s a genjutsu type and not very interested in the ninja arts, he can’t take the same approach as with the boys, meaning he has to nudge her subtly, by a) having her “walk” his dogs, which increases her stamina and dirt-tolerance (lol) and b) by casting constant genjutsu on her, forcing her to either learn to break them or have a conniption (Kakashi is a man of faith).

The ramifications of her training:

Kakashi’s constant genjutsu force Sakura to start paying a lot more attention to her surroundings, (lol to the point where she starts using an alarm clock to remember to check her surroundings every ten minutes).

If you remember, another big change that happened due to Sakura raising her hand is Sasuke’s resulting resentment toward her. This is also important, because it forces her to focus on other things more, such as the training she doesn’t know she’s getting, or bird-watching… and less on the fact that she’s crushing on Sasuke. It starts the process of getting over him.

Due to Sakura’s now heightened awareness and paranoia, combined with the fact that she needs something to take her mind off things, _combined_ with the facts that she now has a connection to the ninken, Sakura notices the crows acting weird (Shi-chan would never slip up with Kakashi around, but with just the genin there, he’s not so careful) and is able to track them down. This brings us to the next big canon deviation point: Sakura meets Itachi.

//I know it’s not canon that he was in Konoha at the time, but it’s not canon that he wasn’t there either, so I’m just going with the fact that he actually had to visit and things would’ve gone as they did in canon if not for Sakura meeting him.

Or in other words, once she meets him and befriends him, Sakura is as good as set on a different path from canon. Her friendship to Itachi has to seem plausible, which is why I devote so much time from chapters three to five in establishing that. They both influence each other a lot, but I’m not going to get into that now.

Next in the path of deviation is:

Kakashi putting more of an effort into teaching Sakura leads to jealousy on Sasuke and Naruto’s part, which:

1) forces Kakashi to give them a serious dressing-down in regards to the values of teamwork, putting them on the path to improve their teamwork a lot in the future

2) forces him to teach them more as well to compensate, which results in the chakra paper coming into play much earlier.

This, in turn, results in Sakura’s fiasco with the chakra paper, which in turn results in Kakashi agreeing to teach her the shunshin.

And you catch my the drift, right? With all of these differences already, it’s obvious that canon will not go on as normal. For example, Kakashi minding team ten one day might have happened in canon without any interesting outcomes, but in this version, after hearing about Ino’s rivalry with Sakura, Kakashi makes a decision to bring the two teams together in hopes of egging Sakura on to try harder at being a ninja and improving the team’s teamwork. This in turn leads to _Ino_ getting egged on, rather than the other way around. Add Kakashi’s version of the chunin exams to that and even more of the cast will be getting development.

Sakura is already more developed than she was in canon by this point. She no longer diets, she does a lot of sport (courtesy of the ninken), she can already water walk, is much better at breaking and spotting genjutsu, has greater awareness of her surroundings, knows basic sensing techniques, has improved her aim a lot, is starting to learn the chiheisen and the sunshin, is better at acrobatics, and last but not least, can do a genjutsu to make people fall asleep and one to conceal them (Itachi taught them to her in order to hide Tora).

Canon Sakura at this point probably wouldn’t have done much when confronted with Orochimaru. But this Sakura? She’s already a step above. And that is only the beginning, my dudes.


	12. Politics and Plotting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Danzo plots and Itachi mentally throttles himself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So! New chapter. It's a full 11k, lads. (since, y'know, it's the eleventh chapter... I'm funny like that.) And you're welcome ;)

Inoichi Yamanaka was having a late dinner with his beautiful wife and beautiful daughter, a celebration, so to speak, for Ino’s admirable performance during the second part of the chunin exam that day. His lovely daughter was in the midst of recounting the ins and outs of the Ino Squad, when unexpectedly, their kitchen window was yanked open with force.

A harried-looking ANBU had crouched upon the ledge, his ragged breaths the only sound in the kitchen.

“Sir! Quick! Your presence is required!” he shouted.

Inoichi, floored, lowered his still-steaming mug of tea with extra honey and looked at the ANBU questioningly.

“For what?”

The ANBU was almost quaking with nerves:

“The War Council has been called, sir!”

Fifteen minutes later, Inoichi was sat upon a huge table with another thirteen people. The various clan heads were present, along with the lieutenant commander, the jonin commander, the respective heads of the torture and intelligence divisions, and finally, the elders of the High Council. Among the table’s occupants, the mood was quiet and palpably tense. No one spoke. Finally, the hokage entered the room, flanked by an entire platoon of ANBU guards. Without ado, he seated himself and immediately began to speak.

“You must be wondering why I have called you out here at this late hour,” Hiruzen said in a heavy tone.

The various people in the room nodded their heads stiffly, and so the hokage continued: “Today, one of our ANBU agents has been grievously injured and is now on the brink of death. Our best team of medics is fighting for his life as we speak.” The room seemed to collectively inhale in preparation for what came next: “He was found in the Forest of Death… and the aggressor was none other than the largest snake summon in existence – the snake king: Manda.” He paused significantly, watching as realization slowly seemed to dawn on some of the faces watching him. “For those of you unaware, there are only two people who poses a snake-summoning contract in existence… one is Mitarashi Anko, the other one is… Orochimaru.”

In face of these words, the room descended into bleak silence.

“Then…” ventured Nara Shikaku, jonin commander and head of the Nara clan, “why isn’t Mitarashi Anko here?”

More silence.

This time, it was Danzo who answered: “I have deployed my entire division to look for her.”

Shikaku nodded, his expression grim.

“So she’s absent?” Morino Ibiki concluded. “Since when?”

Hiruzen shook his head. “We don’t know.”

Bleak silence.

“What does this mean for us?” Yuhi Shindou head of the Yuhi clan, asked grimly.

Hiruzen looked just as grim as he replied: “It depends on the identity of the summoner.”

“Who was the one to retrieve Aki – the ANBU?” Shikaku asked.

“This information is classified,” Danzo cut in.

“But we need to know,” the jonin commander rebuked. “We _need_ to know if this was Orochimaru or Mitarashi.”

“Our agent didn’t see the summoner.” Danzo’s lip pursed. “However, there is no question as to who we are dealing with. The Sannin’s largest snake summon was found on the forest floor. Unless Mitarashi has unexpectedly grown a lot stronger since I last saw her, I’d say we can safely assume this is Orochimaru’s doing.”

The tense atmosphere intensified, if that was even possible.

“So…” Inoichi Yamanaka, head of the intelligence division, ventured into the silence. “If it’s really Orochimaru… what does that mean for us?”

Shikaku, who was well known for his intelligence, looked down at the table and refused to meet anyone’s eyes. The hokage, too, seemed reluctant to share his opinions. So it was Danzo who spoke:

“Orochimaru is a very interesting ninja… he is intelligent as much as he is ambitious, and he is ambitious as much as he is resentful.”

“You think he’s holding a grudge?” Aburame Shigeru concluded.

Danzo looked at him piercingly, then at Hiruzen. “I don’t think it – I know it. If he’s back, then there’s only one reason for it: revenge.”

An abysmal silence descended upon the room.

“He was once my student…” Hiruzen said, his voice weary.

“He was,” Danzo acknowledged. “And his prowess speaks for itself. Orochimaru is capable of a great many things. He wants vengeance against Konoha, against _you_ , Hiruzen… and I have no doubt that he will find a way to see it through.”

The room’s occupants stared bleakly at Danzo, none daring to believe the implications of what just had been said.

“So?” Inoichi finally ventured. “Vengeance can come in many ways. Maybe he’d be content to restrict our trade routes?”

Danzo laughed without amusement. “Don’t be daft, Yamanaka.” He looked around the room. “I’m assuming you’ve all heard of the village hidden in the Sound by now?”

The rest of the ninja nodded.

“Danzo, you cannot seriously be implying…” Hiruzen began.

“I am,” Danzo cut in, rotund, glancing around the table. “You all know Orochimaru didn’t take it well when his candidacy to hokage was denied. Now he has gone and become a political leader of his own, but if he’s back, then it can only mean one thing: his little sound village is only a stepping stone to a larger goal after all.”

Next to him, the elders began to whisper, and soon enough followed the entire table.

Finally, Shikaku spoke up, voicing haltingly what they had all been thinking:

“You think he’ll try to invade Konoha?”

“I do.”

This time, the resulting silence was heavy and charged with electricity. The hokage’s eyes seemed to harden, and noting this, the jonin commander turned towards him.

“Hokage-sama?”

Hiruzen shook his head. “Until we know for certain, it would be too risky to take any extreme measures.”

Across the table, Danzo’s eyes narrowed. “Then what do you suggest? Wait until the day before he attempts your murder to start planning?”

A cutting silence followed.

“We do not know whether it’s Orochimaru or not,” Hiruzen said, ignoring Danzo’s resulting scowl, “but even if it were him – he has done nothing wrong as of yet.”

“No, only trespassed on our village and murdered one of our own.”

“That wasn’t him, but the snake king,” Hiruzen countered. “And the fact that Orochimaru might be here isn’t that surprising, considering the presence of his sound envoys.”

“But why was his pet snake at the Forest of Death then?” Hana of the Inuzuka clan asked. “That takes so much chakra to summon… it can’t be a coincidence.”

“The Forest of Death is notorious for it’s dangerous inhabitants,” Hiruzen told her. “It would make sense for Orochimaru to summon Manda there, where he is out of the way.”

“Of course,” Danzo noted. “And he just so happened to summon the snake king for tea. We’ve all been there, haven’t we.”

He received glares from some people across the table, while others seemed more sympathetic to his reasoning.

“I agree with Hokage-sama,” said the ANBU lieutenant commander, Itona Takenaka. “We don’t have all the facts pertaining this situation. It is delicate as it is; the last thing we need is an escalation.”

Along the table, many of the clan heads nodded their agreement as Danzo clenched his teeth.

“We cannot afford to wait,” the elder insisted. “Our situation is dire, yes, which is precisely why we must act _now_.”

“I’m with Shimura,” Hana Inuzuka cut in. “Waiting around for an invasion like sitting ducks is just plain stupid.”

Shikaku hummed. “It’s not as easy as that, Hana. At the moment, there are two courses of action we can take. One: we recall all of our jonin to the village – just in case. Two: we take some precautionary measures… but without disrupting our current missions.”

“I believe it would be wiser to recall our shinobi while we still have time… _if_ we have time,” remarked Hyuga Hiashi. Danzo nodded, pleased, but Takenaka shook his head:

“I have many of my ANBU deployed in enemy territory and or undercover. There is no way I can recall them all at the drop of a hat and for a threat that isn’t even confirmed.”

“Can’t you use messenger haws?” asked Hana.

“Impossible,” replied Daigo Horibe, head of communications. “We only have so many messenger haws – not to mention, this information is extremely classified. And even if we did have enough carriers, if our neighbors saw so many of our haws in the sky, they’d be put immediately on guard.”

“We could send our ninja on retrieval missions?” suggested Choza Akimichi.

“Is that a good idea?” asked Shigeru Aburame. “It seems counterproductive to send people away just to get more men back.”

“By my estimation,” Danzo cut in, “the best time to launch an attack against the village would be when it would most damage us – once the festivities start. If we send for people now, we’d still make it in time – but it has to be now.”

“It would leave us wide open at this very moment,” Hiruzen countered. “Not to mention, if we do that, our chances of deescalating the possible conflict would be slim to none. A conflict which, may I remind you all, is of yet only conjecture.”

“And when have our instincts failed us?” Danzo replied sharply. “A ninja doesn’t close his eyes and hope the enemy goes away by virtue of the holly ghost. You all know this: a ninja is always prepared – must always be prepared. I cannot stress this enough: we must act now, or it’ll be too late.”

“Acting rashly is worse than not acting at all,” Homura of the elders intervened. “If we recall all of our shinobi now, without solid proof, we would be put out of business immediately. Failure to complete not one, but all of our missions simultaneously would be financial suicide – and for what? A hunch?”

“If we get invaded, none of that will matter,” interrupted his counterpart – Koharu. The elderly woman looked at Danzo intently. “Shimura: I, too, believe we must act now, before it is too late.”

In that moment, all of the present ninja knew that if even the elder council was in disagreement, then the situation was truly dire. However, only one of them was hokage, and only the hokage had the ability to break the deadlock in such a situation.

“For the moment,” Hiruzen said imperiously, “there is nothing we can do but wait and observe. It would be unwise to make any rash decisions with our current knowledge. Once we have found Anko or if our ANBU agent survives the night, we will regroup to discuss the development of the situation. For now – meeting adjourned!”

The various shinobi around the table began to stand slowly, though many looked displeased with the turn of events, most notably Danzo. But he was far from the only one: Inuzuka Hana, Hyuga Hiashi and even the head of the Senju clan appeared to disagree with the hokage’s decision. It was a dire situation in more ways than one.

Half an hour later found a tired Inoichi and Shikaku ensconced in the cozy kitchen of the latter. It was past one in the morning, so Shikaku’s family had all gone to sleep already, leaving them at liberty to discuss private matters. For the moment, however, they had remained silent.

“Did you congratulate your kid, at least?” Inoichi asked tiredly, waiting seated by the table as Shikaku brewed them tea.

“Shikamaru?” Shikaku said absently. “No. Haven’t seen ‘im all day.”

“Ino told me he passed,” Inoichi said. “Apparently, your kid actually put in some effort this time, who’d have guessed.”

“He did?” muttered Shikaku, though his mind seemed to be drifting.

Inoichi propped his chin on his hand and examined his friend worriedly. “How’s Akiha?” he asked into the silence.

“I just got a message…” Shikaku replied. “He… survived the surgery.”

“That’s great news!” Inoichi exclaimed. “You must be so relieved! Especially after the fight you two had–”

“He’s in a coma.”

“Oh.”

The two friends were silent as Shikaku finished brewing the tea and placed two steaming cups on the table.

“What about Shikamaru? Does he know?”

“About Akiha? No. Not yet. I didn’t want to ruin this day for him.”

Inoichi sighed. “Shikaku, you should tell him.”

Shikaku drank his tea silently. “I will. Tomorrow.”

The conversation lulled for a while as both men sipped at their tea. The implications of Akiha’s coma were lost on neither of them: if he didn’t wake up, the chances of finding out who his aggressor had been were very slim…

“So,” said Inoichi at last, breaking the long silence. “The meeting. What a disaster, huh?”

“You could say that again,” muttered Shikaku, rubbing his temples tiredly. “Something tells me that this doesn’t bode well at all for us.”

“So you think the snake king’s appearance was Orochimaru’s doing after all?” Inoichi asked, blowing at his newly-refilled tea.

Shikaku sighed. “It’s hard to say… Anko was a jonin with a lot of chakra, and as you know, there are certain chakra enhancers that could’ve perhaps allowed her to summon the snake king on her own… I don’t know. It all depends on whether she’s been hiding higher chakra levels from us or not.”

Inoichi frowned. “But what do you think is more likely?”

Shikaku sighed again. “I don’t know. With the data we currently have, it’s hard to say.”

“So you support the hokage in his decision to wait?”

“I’m… not sure.” Shikaku paused, thinking deeply. “Orochimaru used to be hokage-sama's student. I’m not certain whether that has influenced him, even subconsciously. Truth is, I hate to agree with Danzo on anything, but… if this really is Orochimaru, we’re in trouble.”

“So you don’t second sandaime-sama’s decision to attempt a deescalation?” Inoichi prodded.

“Don’t get me wrong,” Shikaku told him. “I’m always one for solving conflicts peacefully, but… with the likes of Orochimaru, I’m not sure if that’s even an option.”

The blonde Yamanaka nodded pensively, swirling the tea in his cup around.

Shikaku glanced at his former teammate with interest. “But enough about me. What did _you_ think?”

Inoichi sipped his tea thoughtfully.

“Well…” he began. “As you know, I’m not much of a tactician… but even if we disregard the Orochimaru situation altogether, we’re already in big trouble.”

Shikaku’s eyes widened slightly. “What do you mean?”

“You must’ve noticed how factions immediately began to form, yes?” Inoichi said. “Those who support the hokage and those who support Danzo.” Shikaku nodded, his eyes narrowing. “And therein lies the problem,” Inoichi continued. “You and I both know that Danzo has been after the hokage’s seat for decades. He’s already powerful enough as it is, but if we were to support him in this…”

“Shit,” Shikaku burst out. “He’d gain too much power.”

“Exactly,” Inoichi completed. “And the hokage would be discredited.”

“Fuck, that’s troublesome.”

Inoichi arched an eyebrow. “It’s not often I see you curse, my friend.”

Shikaku sighed. “The situation calls for it. We’re tethering on the edge of disaster here – both militarily and politically.”

Inoichi continued to sip his tea, that reserved expression still on his face. “We are,” he agreed. “The worst thing is, now that hokage-sama has already established his position in this, if he backtracks to support Danzo, he will immediately lose his standing with the council.”

Shikaku nodded, his expression grim. “To aggravate matters, I fear Danzo may be in the right this time. What to do, what to do…”

Inoichi swirled the tea in his cup, looking blankly at it. “I don’t know. We must tread very carefully if we don’t want to upset the political balance… but knowing Danzo, he’ll already be working to turn the odds in his favor.”

Shikaku sighed. “You’re right. Shit. You’re absolutely right.” He glanced at his friend, worry etched into his features. “Spit it out, you old dog. You’re the politically savvy one here. What do you think will be Danzo’s next move?”

“Let me think…” Inoichi’s lip pursed pensively. “Perhaps he’ll try to sway Homura to his side…? That’s the most effective approach, all things considered.”

“Makes sense… but Homura seemed pretty dedicated to supporting sandaime-sama back there,” Shikaku countered, recalling the elder’s set features during the meeting. It was strange: he’d never seen Koharu and Homura disagree on anything, but this time, the female member of the council, Koharu, was firmly on Danzo’s side, while Homura had stood by the Hokage.

“The elders are split…” Inoichi trailed off, as though reading Shikaku’s thoughts, “which means that the council won’t be able to decide anything without additional support. If Danzo can’t convince Homura to side with him, he’ll most likely try to sway anyone in power positions and neutral clan leaders.”

Shikaku blinked, unimpressed. “That still leaves a lot of people. You and I were neutral, as well as the Aburame and the Yuhi clan, if I recall…”

“The Yuhi clan will likely stand by Danzo,” said Inoichi, without missing a beat. “You know Kurenai?”

“The new jonin?” Shikaku asked surprised, thinking of the genjutsu specialist which had recently been promoted. “Yes, I’m aware of her.”

“Her father was the head of the Yuhi clan,” Inoichi explained. “As the Yuhi are primarily genjutsu specialists, they played a key role during the kyubi attack twelve years ago, risking their lives in an attempt to contain it.”

“Yes, I had heard as much.”

“Well…” Inoichi continued. “The Yuhi clan was already small to begin with, but due to this, all senior members passed away that night. Including Kurenai’s father. From what I know, he used to be an old friend of Danzo’s.”

“That man has friends?” Shikaku asked, aghast.

“Apparently,” confirmed Inoichi. “In any case, after Yuhi-san’s death, Danzo cleared one of his ROOT agents from the force, giving him the sole task to take care of the remaining members of the Yuhi clan, most of which were were too young to fend for themselves. The eldest was Kurenai, at thirteen.”

“Aren’t ROOT agents a little…” Shikaku trailed off.

“Not well adjusted?” Inoichi filled in. “Yes, I know. Actually, I used to be Shindou’s therapist… you know, the ROOT agent’s.”

“Seriously?”

“Yeah. He had a bit of a hard time at the beginning, believe me. Taking care of a grieving teenaged Kurenai was not easy on him, and apparently there were a lot of toddlers he had to look after as well.”

Shikaku snorted. “Somehow I can’t imagine anyone from ROOT pulling that off.”

“Well,” said Inoichi with a twinkle in his eye. “Against all predictions, Shindou somehow managed it. Thanks to my marvelous advice, of course.”

Shikaku rolled his eyes. “Of course.”

“But anyway,” Inoichi continued. “My point is, the guy used to work for ROOT. Directly under Danzo. There’s no way he won’t support him when push comes to shove.”

Shikaku nodded. “And Danzo seriously released him from duty? Just like that? It seems so out of character for him, especially after something like the kyubi attack.”

“I know,” Inoichi agreed. “I don’t understand it either. But apparently he wanted to honor his friendship with Kurenai’s father…”

Shikaku stared at him blankly.

“Alright, alright,” said Inoichi. “Maybe he was also hoping to gain more political sway thanks to Shindou but it was still a pretty nice thing to do.”

“Danzo and the word nice somehow don’t fit in one sentence,” Shikaku replied dryly. “Please don’t say that again. You’ll make me question everything.”

“Fine, fine.” Inoichi chuckled. “He’s an odd one, that Danzo. Ah, but so interesting. What I wouldn’t give to peer into his head… just a little peek…”

Shikaku sighed exasperatedly. “Please stop. You’re giving me the creeps.”

“Aww, come on,” Inoichi complained with a smile. “I can’t help it! Individuals like him are just so fascinating!”

“Sure they are,” said Shikaku. “You know, my friend, you’ve got the oddest kinks.” He lifted a glass of sake ceremoniously. “Here’s to praying Ino won’t turn out quite as creep-obsessed as you.”

“Hey! Put that down! It’s almost two in the morning! You shouldn’t be drinking!”

Shikaku ignored him and chugged at his sake.

Inoichi sighed, bemused.

“Anyway,” said Shikaku after downing the liquid. “The Yuhis will support Danzo. Got it. Who else is there?”

“Hmmm…” Inoichi trailed off thoughtfully. “Well, as far as neutral parties go, there’s the both of us… I think Choza will probably support Danzo, mind, if his early intervention is anything to go by.”

Shikaku glanced at him oddly. “How you manage to remember everything everyone says as well as classify their allegiances based on just that will remain a mystery to me… I don’t even remember Choza speaking up at all.”

Inoichi laughed, bemused. “And that, my friend, is why you take care of tactics and not intelligence gathering… but anyway, yes, Choza asked a question at one point. He wanted to know why we weren’t sending retrieval squads for our undercover agents.”

“Ahh…” said Shikaku. “Yes, I remember that discussion. You’re right. If he asked that, then he’ll probably support Danzo… unless we convince him otherwise.”

“Yes,” said Inoichi. “Convincing him to be neutral is a possibility, but I’m not sure if we even want to do that.” He paused thoughtfully. “Besides, we’ve got our own position to worry about. Chances are Danzo will approach either of us in the coming hours – most likely you, as you’re the jonin commander.”

Shikaku nodded. “What should I do if he does? Stall for time?”

Inoichi frowned. “I’m not sure… it all depends on how much support the hokage has. We can’t let him get completely outvoted.”

“That makes sense. Who else is there?”

“Well, on the hokage’s side, there’s obviously the Sarutobi clan, and probably most of the minor clans which don’t have council representation, like the Hatake clan, the Uzumaki clan, the Uchiha clan, etc.”

“They’re under the hokage’s jurisdiction?” Shikaku asked, alarmed.

“Well, at least in the case of the Uzumaki and the Uchiha, they must be.”

“That doesn’t make sense. Can’t Naruto and Sasuke accept heirship?”

“The minimum age requirement is thirteen,” Inoichi explained, having read up on the finer rules recently. “That means they’d have to wait until their coming birthdays, though in any case, as children, they’d be easy to manipulate… so their presence wouldn’t necessarily be a bonus. As for the Hatake clan… well, I can’t imagine Kakashi suddenly showing an interest in politics, can you? After all these years he’s spent fleeing anything to do with his heir title… in any case, that means the Hatake clan falls under the hokage’s jurisdiction as well. Then there’s other small clans which I could get into at length, but I won’t bore you with the details. Case in point: they’re all backing the hokage.”

“I see…” said Shikaku. “That’s still not a lot of support, if you take into account that the Hyuga are with Danzo.”

“You forget, my friend, that the Uchiha left us with a small fortune,” Inoichi countered. “Their name still holds more weight than you’d think… but I digress,” he shrugged elegantly. “The hokage’s main ally, undoubtedly, is the lieutenant commander.”

Shikaku wrecked his brain to recall the man’s role in the meeting. “Yes, I remember him. He spoke up more than once to defend the hokage, didn’t he?”

In truth, this wasn’t very surprising, as ANBU was directly under the hokage’s supervision. It wasn’t a very well known fact, but just as Shikaku was jonin commander, his ANBU counterpart was the hokage himself. Since the creation of the village, the hokage’s primary role had been that of ANBU commander (though back then, the position had born a different name), something which had played a key role in maintaining his power during times of crisis. As commander of the village’s elite, the chances of launching a successful coup against the hokage were very slim. However, with the hokage’s growing number of duties and tasks as the village developed, the need to delegate had arisen, and so the position of ANBU “lieutenant commander” was born. The lieutenant commander was possibly the second most powerful man in the village, though only on paper. This was due to the fact that, historically, the varying hokage had usually feared the immense influence of their lieutenant commanders, which is why only very servile and loyal ANBU were ever chosen for the job. The current lieutenant commander, Itona Takenaka, had been appointed during the last war, and, though Shikaku didn’t know his superior very well, he wasn’t surprised in the least to hear that the man was a staunch supporter of the hokage’s…

“I see…” Shikaku said, beginning to better understand the pieces of the game. “The lieutenant commander, huh?” He twirled his beard thoughtfully. “Danzo’s next stop is going to be him almost certainly then. Provided Homura doesn’t change his mind, without Takenaka’s support, any chances of outvoting the hokage are nigh impossible. And if I know Danzo at all, he will try to sway Takenaka no matter the cost.”

“And if he can’t sway him?” asked Inoichi.

“Then he’ll attempt to remove him from the board altogether.”

Around that time in a different part of the village, Sakura woke up.

She was lying on the mattress where she had learned back-flips, she realized vaguely. At first she thought she’d fallen asleep during training, but then she remembered that she already could do back-flips and was confused… It was then she that she attempted to move, to sit up, and her entire body was wrecked with excruciating pain, and her confusion morphed into alarm.

“Yuna?” she croaked.

There were shuffling sounds until the door appeared to open.

“Hey there, sleepyhead,” came the old woman’s raspy voice.

Sakura stared at the ceiling blearily. ‘Sleepyhead’? Yuna never used endearments like that. Ever. What was going on?

“What happened? Why am I here?” Sakura asked slowly, wishing she could sit up, at least. Her body ached oddly and she felt very tired.

“Ya did well, girl. Now drink!” was Yuna’s immediate response… which in true Yuna fashion, didn’t really answer anything. Nevertheless, Sakura’s throat was feeling incredibly parched, so the idea of drinking was very appealing. Before she knew it, Yuna’s wizened hands were lifting her up with surprising strength and propping pillows behind her. Sakura took in her surroundings. The room was dark around her. She could barely see Yuna. But then the woman held a steaming cup of tea under her nose, and Sakura chugged it eagerly down her parched throat. Suddenly, she shivered. Thinking of throats made the hairs in her arms stand on end, but she didn’t know why… the image of a huge, horrible gullet came to her mind like something straight out of her nightmares, and Sakura shivered even more. Forcefully, she tried to banish these odd thoughts from her head. It was… weird. Her mind felt strangely foggy, but that must be the exhaustion getting to her.

She felt like something had happened, but at the same time, there seemed to be nothing pointing toward it. Yuna was being Yuna, Sakura’s body felt strangely tired but otherwise fine…

“Why am I so tired?” she asked quietly.

“Yer a stubborn brat, that’s why,” Yuna said.

“But why… why am I here?” Sakura questioned then, trying to remember what had happened. She remembered… chasing a dog? Or something. But she didn’t remember whether she’d caught the dog at all. And she remembered that Anko woman being creepy, and that nice ninja helping out. And she remembered buying clothes at Yuna’s, which – wait.

“Where are my clothes?” Sakura asked, confused. She was wearing some odd second-hand camisole that looked almost like a nightdress.

“I’m washing them,” said the old woman. “And hold your horses, girl. That’s enough questions for now.”

“But why are–?”

Annoyed, Yuna pushed the tea flask into Sakura’s lips and forced her to drink. “Stop asking questions, girl. You can bother your friend later.”

Resigned to the old woman’s mercurial moods, Sakura laid down again, passing the time by stroking Goliath sleepily. She felt so, so tired…

The next time she came to, it was to the lull of quiet voices in the background.

“…just finished healing the worst of the damage…”

“…any permanent injuries?”

“…has been very lucky to get to me so soon…”

Slowly, as she began to regain more conscience, the words honed in.

“Will she be alright then?”

“I imagine so, pipsqueak. But what on earth happened? This kind of damage…”

“She was caught in the midst of a gigantic explosion.”

“Don’t tell me it was mine?!”

“I believe so, yes.”

There was something that sounded like a muttered ‘bless her, the poor girl’ and then even more muttered curses.

“It’s a miracle that she made it out alive then. The girl’s tougher than I thought.”

“She is… When will she wake up?”

“Already did, but the pain was too much for her so I put her under again.”

“Ah, I see… will she be in pain in the coming days?”

“Yes. I’ll try my best to make the recovery quick for her, but it ain’t so easy…”

“I see… thank you so much for your help, Rasna.”

“Yuna, ya idiot. And yer gonna have to tell me what this is all about, pipsqueak.”

“I’m sorry, as much as I’d like to, I cannot disclose any more details.”

“Ya sure? She was askin’ a lotta questions.”

“Understandable.”

It was around then that Sakura decided it was her turn to participate:

“Wha… whaz goin’ on?” she muttered groggily.

She heard footsteps approaching and felt the mattress dip under someone’s weight.

“Sakura, how are you feeling?”

“’m fine…” Sakura informed. “Great, but odd ‘n tired ‘n stuff…”

“I see,” said the reserved voice. “I’m glad to hear that. Your head?”

“Headhunter jutsu,” Sakura said with a faint giggle, recalling Kakashi’s attack against Sasuke during the bell-test.

There was a sigh. “Yuna, did you drug her?”

“Might’ve added some strong relaxants in ‘er tea.”

Sakura tried to open her eyes, annoyed by this idea, but it was just so cozy…

“You believe this necessary?”

“More than.”

Yet another sigh. “I’ll be by again in a while then.”

Then more footsteps and some shuffling, followed by the door closing, and then blissful silence.

A few hours later, many meters below the ground, in one of the most secret facilities within Konoha, Danzo stood poised, waiting for his agents’ reports. He’d had the entirety of ROOT comb through the Forest of Death during the course of the entire night, and now, with the first rays of sunlight, his agents were returning to him.

“Danzo-sama,” the operation’s commanding officer stated stiffly, kneeling at the elder’s feet.

“Kin…” said Danzo, watching the agent impassively. “Report.”

“We’ve found nothing,” said Kin blandly. “As per your orders, our patrols have been combing all over the Forest of Death, attempting to locate Mitarashi Anko or even the snake king’s carcass, but the clearing which the Uchiha has mentioned was empty upon our arrival – though the trees in the area were battered, clearly signs of a struggle. However, we haven’t managed to locate anything useful.”

Due to the tongue seal which insured their silence, some choice agents from ROOT knew of Itachi’s work as a double agent, which proved convenient as it gave Danzo’s men an edge over Hiruzen’s. However, even with Itachi directly briefing his ROOT agents, nothing had come off it. It was as though Mitarashi Anko had never existed – she was just… gone. The same went for Manda’s supposed appearance… if it weren’t because of the pitch black seal concealed beneath on Itachi’s own tongue, Danzo would’ve thought him a liar.

“Then look again,” he ordered coldly. “We must find the summoner, no matter the cost.”

“My apologies, Danzo-sama,” said Kin slowly. “Our efforts have been futile. Looking again would likely not change this.”

“Then…” Danzo’s jaw clenched. “Get me Río.”

“It will be done.”

Danzo nodded. “Good. And be quick.”

Minutes later, a different agent showed up, though instead of kneeling at Danzo’s feet, this one unceremoniously plopped down on the floor.

“You called?”

“Did you find him?” Danzo snapped impatiently.

Río frowned. “No. Didn’t Kin just report to you?”

Angrily, Danzo gritted his teeth and stared off into space with a scowl. After a few minutes of this, she ventured, “Danzo-sama?”

Danzo looked away from the pillar he was glaring at. “That bloody Homura!” he snapped suddenly, making her jump. “Gaining his approval will be impossible at this rate, and then what? The man is as stubborn as a mule, and probably proud of it too!”

“Right,” said Río.

“We need to eliminate Takenaka,” Danzo continued ranting. “There’s something off about him. I don’t trust him.”

“Er – I don’t follow…?”

Danzo waved her off. “Never mind. You don’t have a mind for politics anyway.”

Eyes narrowing like a cat, Río crossed her arms. “Alright. Fine. Why am I here then? Did you just call me so you could rant at me?”

Danzo took a deep breath, then turned back toward her. “They do say that talking to thin air isn’t a good sign,” he remarked dryly. “And I’d go spare if I didn’t vent somehow.”

“Maybe you could sign up to a yoga class then?” Río suggested.

Danzo glared at her. “I don’t need to meditate! What I need is to voice my thoughts out loud. It helps me clear my mind.”

“Right. Well… talk to Ren then. Or Shima. Or Senzo. Or Yin. They’re all good at listening.”

“Yes, and at pretending to be a wall also,” Danzo snapped.

“But that’s positive! Then they can bounce back your ideas.”

Danzo gave her a blank look. “You know as well as I that none of them have any opinions.”

“Ren has lots of opinions on kunai positioning.”

“Never mind. Río. Pay attention.”

Río sighed. “Alright… what do you want me to do then? Try to find out whether Takenaka’s a bad apple?”

“No,” said Danzo immediately. “As I said – I don’t trust him as far as I can throw him, even with the knowledge that he’s being followed.”

“Isn’t that… a little excessive?” Río asked after a beat. “I mean, that’s the lieutenant commander we’re talking about. I know you’re not too fond of ANBU but–”

“It’s not that,” Danzo interrupted, ignoring her sceptical look. “Something just tells me that it’s no coincidence that Takenaka’s supporting Hiruzen’s terrible choices in this. Not when he’s usually so paranoid.”

“He could just be stupid…?”

“Not Takenaka,” Danzo dismissed. “That man is a fox.”

“But why would he be a spy?” Río insisted. “He’s been extremely loyal ever since the war.”

“But at that time, Orochimaru still was one of ours,” Danzo told her. “Haven’t you ever seen Takenaka’s arms?”

Río blinked, her expression thoughtful. “He always wears that white coat of his, even in summer… so no.”

“Exactly.”

“I don’t understand.”

“He lost them to the war.”

Río frowned. “But I’ve seen him fight with both of them. I’m sure of it. He didn’t look handicapped whatsoever.”

There was a strange gleam in Danzo’s eye as he said: “Exactly.”

Río paused. “It can’t be…” she ventured slowly. “Orochimaru’s experiments? You think his new arms…?”

The subsequent silence left a lot to the imagination, but Danzo clearly understood what she was saying. “It’s just a theory, but yes. Takenaka being a traitor? It’s a definite possibility.”

“I see,” said Río, looking more than a little alarmed now. “Then it’s as good as set in stone – you’re usually right about these things.”

“Hm,” said Danzo non-committally. “Then you better pray I’m not. If Takenaka truly is spying for Orochimaru, we’ll have a huge problem on our hands.”

“Great,” Río muttered. “This just keeps getting better and better, doesn’t it? Our ANBU commander, a _spy._ And then we claim that our village is the greatest.” 

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Danzo asked with a scowl.

Río sighed. “ Never mind.  Have you told the hokage about any of this?”

Danzo sneered. “He would dismiss my concerns as paranoid lies.”

“I still think you should say something…” Río advised, “even if the old monkey is rather thick.”

“But you see,” Danzo told her, “In Hiruzen’s eyes, it must seem rather convenient that I come out with this now. He won’t believe me. Not now.”

“…fantastic,” Río said with chagrin. “So now what?”

“We’ll have to find a loophole, as usual.” Danzo said. “In this case, a legal loophole.”

“A legal loophole?”

“Yes. We may not be able to kill Takenaka without making a scene, but we can still fire him legally.”

“You can do that?” Río asked sceptically.

“Yes, in fact you can,” Danzo said with a pleased expression. “You see, when sensei created the ANBU corps and the entire administrative legislation all by himself, he added a clause that would allow him to fire anyone who wasn’t hokage.”

“Wow.”

“Exactly. And he was so clever about it that he hid those clauses so well, that only someone who knew they existed in the first place could possibly manage to find them.”

Río hesitated. “And…? How many people know?”

Danzo smirked. “He mentioned it to Hiruzen and I once in passing – it wouldn’t surprise me if Hiruzen has no memory of it. He was wretchedly drunk at the time.”

“Yay” said Río. “Does that mean we have to sort through mountains of paperwork now?”

“You won’t,” Danzo grumbled. “I need you overseeing everything back in the field… but as for me… well.”

“That’s… such a shame,” Río replied. “I’ll be _rooting_ for you though.”

Danzo sighed. “Whatever. Dismissed.”

“Wait.” Río blinked at him. “I was right? You seriously just called me here to rant at me?”

“I said dismissed!” Danzo snapped.

“Alright, alright. I’m going…”

When Sakura next woke up two days later, she was in her bedroom. Getting up with a huge yawn and some exaggerated stretching, she padded to the bathroom, bleary-eyed, to take a shower. She was surprised at the amount of grime left on the shower-floor by the time she was done, but she chalked it up to an evening spent with Kakashi’s dogs. Suppressing yet another yawn, Sakura then strode back to her room to get on with her day. Her quipao dress came on next, then her weapons holsters… but by then, Sakura was sufficiently awake to notice a lot of her weapons missing. Say what? Where had she put them? She spent the next fifteen minutes searching for the misplaced shuriken and kunai – but with no luck. Eventually, Sakura gave up and went downstairs for some breakfast. To her utter surprise, instead of greeting her normally, her mother looked at her with alarm. Or more specifically, at her forehead.

“Hm? Where’d you get that, dear?”

Sakura, clueless, was left to finger her forehead confusedly, until… her index brushed against something uneven. A bandage. What? She’d hit her forehead? Sakura pondered this confusedly. Ugh, goddamn! Why did her mind feel so foggy today? Was she secretly drunk or something? Sakura didn’t think that could happen without drinking, but maybe it could? Or maybe she’d really hit her head hard. It was then that she suddenly remembered breaking into Stalker-san’s flat through the window and hitting her forehead. It was probably the dumbest way to get injured she could think of.

Ugh. Could she get more stupid? What on earth had possessed her to do such a thing?

Once she was up in her room again, Sakura removed the bandage. She was greeted with a healing injury, rather ugly and crusted and brown-red. But wait, it looked days old, at least. Why hadn’t she gone to the doctor to get it healed? _Stupid, stupid, stupid!_ What on earth had she been thinking, these past few days?

Sakura’s next order of business that morning was to go to the hospital. Soon enough, it was her turn to go into the med-nin’s clinic… and the doctor in charge of genin-healing had bad news for her.

First, he chastised Sakura for minutes on end for not coming earlier, as it was now too late to prevent scarring, and what had she been thinking? How had she the nerve to come after so many days – when the injury would be so much harder to heal properly, adding a lot more work and chakra-expenditure to on his plate? His reserves weren’t infinite, did she know? And had she no respect? She wasn’t the only one in the world who needed healing. It was clear the man had had a stressful day, but he was obviously a good person at heart, because, when Sakura started crying in midst of his rant ( _not this again – stop it, Haruno,_ _stop it_ _!_ ) he’d immediately softened, switching to a more comforting persona and gently promising he’d try to smooth the injury out as much as possible.

Meanwhile, Sakura was working on controlling her tear ducts, and failing rather terribly at it. Why, oh, why did she have to be so emotional again? Why couldn’t she be all stoic, like Sasuke? Or even bullheadedly disregard all difficulties in her path, like Naruto? Perhaps she should take a cue from Kakashi and start wearing a mask? But no, that wouldn’t help hide her tears… she simply needed to stop being such a crybaby.

But Sakura just couldn’t help it; in this case, her tears were born of frustration. She felt so _angry_ at herself. Why hadn’t she come sooner to the medic? What was _wrong_ with her? Hadn’t she been thinking?

Not to mention, of all places to get a scar, her overly-large forehead was the absolute last choice for her. And yet, she’d somehow managed to get the very first scar in her career right smack on her forehead, and by something as stupid as headbutting Stalker-san through his window… Sakura truly felt like a moron now.

And it felt like such a trivial injury, too! If it was going to permanently disfigure her (okay, maybe that was exaggerating a little, but still), well, if she was going to be permanently marred, at least the scar could’ve been worth it, right? Maybe obtained by heroically saving Kakashi’s life and proving to her teammates that she was worth it, right? That would’ve been worthy of such a scar. Alright, alright, her saving Kakashi was a fanciful fantasy at best, but still…! Did she seriously have to go and get a scar over something so _stupid_?

As soon as the appointment was over, Sakura went to the hospital bathroom to mope in peace – and stare viciously at her scar. The medic had done a good job in making it less hideous, explaining that he’d accelerated the natural healing her body was capable of. This meant her scar looked a lot better than it should, fresh as the injury was, but it also meant it likely wouldn’t heal much more. Sakura stared at it morosely. It was a fine white line that spanned more or less across the middle of her forehead. It wasn’t very big, thankfully, but the shape was odd, kind of like a half-moon, or an incomplete circle, and the line cut itself off the slightest bit at the middle. Sakura thought wryly that if the circle had been complete, she’d now be carrying around the Haruno symbol on her forehead… well, it could’ve been worse. The scar wasn’t very bumpy or anything, so she figured that a proper dose of make-up could hide it no problem. But it was still a bummer.

Unfortunately, she didn’t make it home in time to conceal it. As a matter of fact, she didn’t even make it five meters without inadvertently presenting her scar to society: just as Sakura was walking down the stairs, she somehow managed to stumble into Kakashi, who joined her on the staircase when she was passing the Intensive Care Units’ floor.

“Sakura-chan? Yo.”

“Sensei?” she questioned with surprise. “What are you doing here?”

Kakashi scratched his head. “Visiting someone… how about you?” He looked with interest at the scar on her forehead, and with his intent gaze, it almost felt like it was almost prickling. Sakura resisted the urge to duck her head self-consciously.

“I was trying to get this scar healed, Sensei,” she answered, dejected. “But with no luck.”

Kakashi nodded slowly. “Maa, if you’re done already, care to join me outside?”

Sakura nodded, falling into step next to him as they walked out of the hospital.

“So. The scar,” Kakashi said after a moment. “Guess we match now, ne?” he added, pushing up his headband to display his own scar.

Sakura giggled. “Yeah. We sure do.”

“How’d you get it?” Kakashi queried lazily, replacing his headband.

“Um,” Sakura stuttered awkwardly. “Well… you won’t believe this, but by headbutting someone.”

Kakashi blinked, his eyes going slightly wide. “Should I worry about the other guy?”

Sakura giggled again. Now that she thought about it, it’d been ages since she’d seen Stalker-san, or, um, Tetsuya. Would he have a scar too? She couldn’t remember…

“The other guy is my friend, sensei,” she informed him. “And it was an accident.”

Kakashi chuckled. “Well, that’s an interesting shape, for a scar. Was your friend wearing something round on his forehead?”

“Um, I don’t know…” Sakura said. Now that she thought about it, the scar really was quite odd.

“Sakura-chan…” Kakashi said suddenly. “Can I ask you something?”

She nodded.

“Why did you miss training yesterday?”

The fact that she had missed it that morning as well was strongly implied.

For an entirely too long moment, Sakura stared at Kakashi, surprised. She’d missed training…? Again, the strange fogginess in her mind took over. She didn’t know what to think. How had she forgotten that? Was her brain addled?

“Um. I was tired…” she said hesitantly. Her exhaustion was the only thing she was certain of, though Sakura felt as if something more was at play. She was going to say something else, apologize, but Kakashi seemed to have already accepted her answer and moved on to the next topic:

“Has it anything to do, per chance, with what happened the day before?”

Sakura was lost for a moment, until she suddenly realized he must be talking about the Anko ordeal.

“Uh. I guess…”

“Sakura,” Kakashi said, looking at once very serious. “Did something happen with Anko? Was she acting odd?” Anko had already been acting strangely the day Kakashi had talked to her in the jonin longue, but he had chalked it off to her resentment then, not knowing the woman very well. Now, Kakashi was regretting his oversight with a vengeance.

Meanwhile, Sakura blinked at him. “I… yes? She was… weird.”

Upon Kakashi’s further proving, she recounted what little she could remember about that day, including the nice guy who had rescued her and Sasuke from Anko’s perverted clutches.

“I see,” said Kakashi after she was done. His expression was bleak and it made alarm bells go off in her head. “I’m canceling training for tomorrow as well as today, Sakura-chan,” Kakashi told her. “Make sure to tell Sasuke and Naruto for me, please. And warn them not to walk off on their own, ne?”

Sakura nodded, worry beginning to grow in the pit of her stomach. Something, she could immediately tell, was wrong.

“Ja, then I’ll be off,” said Kakashi, giving her a head-ruffle. Then he paused, as though remembering something and he lightly tapped her scar. “And don’t worry about that, ne, Sakura-chan? It gives you the look of a heroine.”

Sakura opened her mouth, about to tell Kakashi that he better not be referencing an Icha Icha heroine, but the words wouldn’t come out. He was so nice to her, she felt emotion clogging her throat, constricting her chest, and she only managed to whisper:

“Kaka-sensei…”

He smiled at her, his eyes crinkling, seeming to understand her without words. Lifting his hand in merry farewell, he puffed away.

Sakura stared after him, blushing a little. She’d thought Stalker-san, er, Tetsuya, was weird for supposedly crushing on Kakashi-sensei. Now she felt like someone had knocked all the air off her chest. He was so cool…

 _Wait. What had she just thought? Abort! Abort! A_ nd yet, she couldn’t backtrack on her very own thoughts. She’d just thought of Hatake Kakashi as cool. What. _Stop,_ _you i_ _diot! What are you doing?_ Sakura scolded herself. _He’s the very definition of uncool! Sasuke is cool. Not_ _sensei, for god’s sake_ _!_ And yet, she thought with dismay, her treacherous blush was still very much present.

 _Great_ , Sakura surmised with a sigh as she stomped toward the training ground . She knew herself well enough to know when she had a crush. _Just what I needed._ With how perceptive Kakashi was, he’d likely pick up on her new-found admiration, probably grow uncomfortable and try to distance himself… Since that was about the last thing she wanted, it meant that Sakura would have to be as subtle as she could in her affections and wait them out until they disappeared. Which was easier said than done, because she knew herself and she knew that she wasn’t exactly subtle in her amorous attentions. Ugh, Sakura thought with annoyance. She had the worst timing ever, didn’t she?

Whilst Sakura was busy freaking out, Danzo found himself confined to a desk, glancing longingly at the window every so often as he combed through stacks upon stacks of paperwork which may or may not bear the legal loophole to fire Takenaka. He was in the official council building, which was used primarily to keep all sorts of inane records about inane rules and regulations and laws no one had bothered to look through in the entire history of hidden villages. Until then.

Now, Danzo was usually a master of his own mind, with a capacity for work and discipline rivaled by few… but even he found this task very mind-numbing. There was a reason why he avoided sitting as his ninja debriefed him and, okay, it was partly because he enjoyed the whole power dynamic of towering over his kneeling officials thing, yes, but mostly it was because he absolutely couldn’t stand to sit still. It had even earned him the nickname of _vibra-knees_ back in the Academy (something Hiruzen surely remembered on rainy days) and, though Danzo had much better control over his tick now, he occasionally still found his knees knocking up and down restlessly on days such as today. Not that he’d ever admit it.

Hearing someone knock on the door, the elder immediately forced his knees into submission and schooled his annoyed countenance.

“Who is it?” he questioned gruffly.

The door creaked open revealing Río, looking calm as usual, despite the fact that she was balancing a lemonade pitcher upon her head. To shinobi, who were well known for disliking to have both hands occupied, this might not be that surprising… who was he kidding, it was completely bizarre.

Despite himself, Danzo couldn’t help but stare at the pitcher. He knew that Río was one of the only Roots agent with actual recreational hobbies… but this?

“It's hot outside," Río said defensively. "Don't judge me."

Wondering what his life had come to, Danzo tore his gaze away from the pitcher and shook his head. "Never mind. I have an assignment for you." Standing up from his chair, he slowly walked toward the window. 

" _Just_ for me?" Río questioned, turning serious. "How bad is it?"

"Actually, it's not a solo this time…” he told her, pulling out a scroll. “The pertinent information is on here, as well as instructions regarding your, ah, extraneous partner for this one.”

“Extraneous partner?” Río's eyes narrowed in thought. “As in, someone not from the foundation?”

“Yes.” Danzo's mien darkened. “That's exactly what I mean. Normally, I would never willingly send you on a mission with the likes of _him_ , but the situation truly calls for it.”

"Hm. It's no sweat, I don't mind."

"You don't mind?" Danzo jeered. "ANBU is our natural enemy! But I should've known you'd say that. You are rather lacking in the common sense department."

"My common sense is just fine."

Danzo gave her a look. "Yes, and you also once stuck your hand into a chidori. Voluntarily. For no discernible reason. I suppose that that must've been your common sense ruling your thoughts again?"

"That was one time!" Río complained. "Am I never going to live that down?"

Danzo smiled in the same way crocodile might. "No." 

She scowled. "Look, can we not do this right now? Just tell me the mission and I’ll be on my way. As for my partner, do I have to team up with Itachi Uchiha? Or with that sannin who perves on women?"

Danzo scowled. "No. Why do you think I brought the chidori incident up? You'll be paired up with Hatake Kakashi." He chugged the mission scroll into her general direction.

"Hatake... Kakashi?" Río murmured, catching it.

"Yes, and try not to poke your head into any dangerous electrical currents this time."

"I was making a point! Nothing happened! Well, my hand got fried, but…" She trailed off. "Never mind."

Her expression was so odd that Danzo actually asked, "something the matter?"

Río quickly looked up. "No, nothing. I'm off then."

A moment later, she once again placed the lemonade pitcher upon her head again and hopped out of the window.

Meanwhile, in another part of the village, Itachi was crouching by Sakura’s window. Her room was empty, much to his dismay. The last he’d checked two hours ago, Sakura had still been unconscious… and then he had been called to a meeting with Danzo. Now he was back, but Sakura was absent.

Itachi had already modified her parents’ memories to think their daughter had been home all along, as opposed to missing for two nights and a day. He’d also modified Sakura’s own recollection so she wouldn’t realize she’d been unconscious at all, but he wasn’t sure whether it had worked properly.

He wanted to see her, make sure she was alright… Most pressingly, he wanted to check whether he could revert the memory-altering genjutsu. The thing was, he hadn’t realized this until later, but there was a very pressing question he now couldn’t ask her. Namely, how had Sakura known that the missing ANBU agent was at the Forest of Death? She must’ve been tipped off somehow, but now that Itachi had erased most of her memories of that day, he had no way of asking her about it… which was clearly a crucial piece of information. And there was no way he could admit to the hokage that he’d tampered with Sakura’s mind just to keep secrets from him. Yes, Itachi was starting to regret his rash decision to erase her memories. What had he been thinking?

Upon finding Sakura at the clearing, surrounded snake remains, his first instinct was to take her (as well as the other survivor) and run. And so, he’d bolted back to Konoha as fast as he could, unwilling to chance a meeting with the snake’s summoner. After all, there were only two possible candidates to have called upon the snake: Anko… and Orochimaru.

Supposing it had been Anko, then that meant she had covertly grown much stronger than the village was aware of. And a ninja that willingly concealed his strength from its own village was usually a bad sign… it was normally the mark of a would-be traitor. On the other hand, if the summoner had been Orochimaru himself, then that was even worse news and didn’t bode well for the future at all. Because, from what Itachi knew, Orochimaru wasn’t one to act without a motive. And if he had risked coming back… well, the timing couldn’t be worse.

The problem was, at this point in time, it was impossible to know which possibility was true.

If only Itachi had conserved Sakura’s memories…

As he left the Haruno’s house, Itachi reflected upon his situation. Now that there was a possible threat in the horizon, Danzo had covertly ordered him to be on standby in case of a worst-case scenario situation… though the hokage had no idea that Itachi was still in the village. Jiraiya, too, had opted to stay, though his reasoning was that he wanted to do “research”, which was code for spying on naked women. To be honest, Itachi wasn’t sure if he really meant it, or if the Sannin had also picked up on the possible threat and was worried too.

Itachi, on his part, had two problems: one was in the form of Kakashi and Jiraiya, who might still keep looking for him, which meant that staying at an inn was out of the question from now on – he’d have to acquire some other lodgings.

His other problem was considerably larger, namely, the Akatsuki.

The only reason Itachi had been able to stay in Konoha for so long was due to the nature of Akatsuki missions, which often involved a great deal of waiting. For instance, his current mission could be put on hold until the second of August. At that date, the courtesan he and Kisame were supposed to assassinate was scheduled to make an appearance at a certain event, hence the wait until then. It wasn’t uncommon for them to embark on such missions, as after all, the shinobi profession involved a lot more waiting than most people gave it credit for, especially in the case of missing nin, which hadn’t the resources of an entire village’s spy network at their disposal. Due to this, it was common for Akatsuki pairs to split up during waiting periods. The freedom that this allowed, after all, was one of the organization’s most attractive aspects, and if Itachi was honest, probably the reason why many of its members had agreed to join in the first place. Due to this, when Itachi had suggested he and Kisame split up until the first of August, it hadn’t raised any red flags. But now that his stay in Konoha would be lengthened even more… well, he feared he might have to leave the village at the worst possible moment.

Just as he was thinking this, he saw her: Sakura was walking down the path with a downtrodden gait. Seeing her flawless skin, unmarred from the previous lacerations and burns, made Itachi sigh with relief. Though upon looking more closely… he realized that she wasn’t as unmarred as he’d first thought: her forehead bore a scar. It was oval-shaped, reminiscent of an uneven semicircle, though the fine, white line cut itself off at the middle. How odd… _Wait._

It was only then that Itachi realized with horror that Sakura had gotten it from bumping into him – it was summarily _his fault_. But what was even worse – at the time, Itachi had been meaning to leave the village for good, so he’d been completely clothed in his missing nin regalia… including his slit forehead protector. Sakura’s scar, he concluded with shock, was an imprint of part of the forehead protector’s depicted leaf symbol, with a jagged line right through its center. The very line which depicted treason.

If Sakura realized what the odd scar was… if she realized why the semicircle cut itself off at the middle… He bit his lip tensely. She had all the clues. She had all the clues _written right on her forehead_. Now she only needed to put them together and she’d realize that Itachi was a missing nin and then–

He’d started panicking in earnest when she spotted him.

“Hey, um, Tetsuya!” Sakura greeted with a wave. “How are you doing?”

Itachi stared at her, honestly confused, until he remembered that ah yes, his alias was in fact Tetsuya. He’d grown so used to her endearing ‘stalker-san’ moniker that Tetsuya felt like an unwelcome change. Though he couldn’t very well tell her that without seeming suspicious…

“I have been better,” Itachi admitted, voicing the understatement of the century. “How are you?”

“A bit odd,” said Sakura, touching her scar gingerly.

“Do not worry about that,” Itachi told her, looking at the scar also. He felt terrible for giving the poor, fashion-conscious genin a scar in such a visible place. Worse even for unknowingly branding the missing nin symbol right across her forehead… or at least a part of it. The leaf symbol was thankfully unrecognizable, but it was the principle of the matter. She didn’t deserve such a foul imprint… and it was his fault, even in spite the fact that he was loyal to a fault. Just how ironic could his life get? Itachi almost felt like his life was one big drama series and some god out there was laughing their ass off at him.

Meanwhile, Sakura was frowning, refusing to meet his eyes. “I guess,” she said forlornly, kicking a pebble. “It’s easier said than done… I mean, I’m stuck with this scar for life, Stalker-s… Tetsuya. Do you know how long that is?”

He did. At least, he hoped it would be long, for her sake. Even so, Itachi felt the need to comfort her as she had done to him so many times. Copying Sakura’s own technique, which had worked well enough on him in the past, Itachi put a tentative hand on her shoulder, feeling rather awkward as he did so.

“Do not worry,” he said, trying (and probably failing) to make his voice sound less blank than his usual. Acting on a spur of the moment hunch, he added: “If you wish, Sakura, I can teach you a genjutsu to hide it. The technique barely takes any chakra and it will be as if you never even had a scar in the first place.”

Sakura looked up at him hesitantly. “You’d do that?”

Itachi nodded.

“That’s… thank you, that means a lot. It’s just…” she sighed. “I feel so pathetic!”

Itachi almost took a step back, startled by her outburst. Pathetic? She had single-highhandedly defeated _the snake king_ and rescued an ANBU’s life in the process. She was twelve and not even from a clan (he was beginning to realize that this made a big difference), not to mention how genuinely nice and caring Sakura was; everything she did was so heartfelt and just – honest. If anything, Itachi could respect that in a ninja, though he himself wasn’t exactly the epitome of honesty… but this only made Sakura’s outlook feel even more so refreshing.

And so, Itachi was almost offended on her behalf as he repeated:

“Pathetic?”

“Yes!” Sakura exclaimed, morosely kicking yet another pebble. “I’m such a terrible, useless kunoichi…! I can’t even get scarred right! What did I do in the Wave mission? Nothing. In the bell test? Nothing. In the chunin exam? It was my entire fault that we failed! I’m so, so, so – ugh!” She threaded her hands through her hair, pulling on it angrily.

Meanwhile, Itachi only wished he could tell her all she’d done at the forest. He wished he could tell her that this very scar she had obtained _because_ she was trying to save someone’s life – in an act of slightly foolish though unmistakably selfless bravery.

“Sakura,” he said with conviction. “That scar – it’s nothing to be ashamed of.”

“But, but–”

“No, listen to me. Only days ago, you were too afraid of heights to perform a simple back flip. Now, you are capable of jumping,” he attempted to remember what she’d told him, “ah, over a two story height. That’s… that’s…” Itachi tried to channel his inner Kakashi, hoping for some wholesome words to come to him. “That scar, it symbolizes you conquering your fears,” he settled on. “Do you understand? It’s nothing to be ashamed of.”

By the time he was finished, Sakura was staring at him wide-eyed.

“You… you really think so?”

Itachi nodded all business like. “Absolutely.”

Sakura broke out into a radiant grin and without warning tackled him into a hug. “Thank you! Thank you! That’s just what I needed to hear! Stalker-san, you’re the best!”

Itachi smiled warmly. He had to admit, that speech had been a stellar save, if he did say so himself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I hope you liked it! If that's the case, please leave me a comment -- otherwise I feel like I'm some kind of servant, not a human. That isn't to say I don't appreciate the people who do comment. As a matter of fact, I love absolutely every one of the lines you guys drop, but I feel like it's always the same old gang commenting (my faves!) and yet there's almost three hundred of you following this story. (and isn't that humbling!) But only the same 10-15 folks comment. 
> 
> To all those silent masses who never even bother to say thank you, just letting you know that those people who do, _those_ are the ones who truly keep me going, writing even when I could be doing something more fun or my motivation is low.  
> So yeah, to those of you -- you know who you are -- thank you. From the bottom of my heart, thank you. I really, really, really do appreciate the effort, even if I don't answer to you immediately -- you can be sure that I read and cherish every one of your comments many times over. I love y'all :)


	13. Panic

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Recapping: There are two political factions now–Danzo’s (who wants to act immediately, operating under the assumption that Orochimaru is plotting an invasion) and Hiruzen’s, who wants to basically wait and see.  
> As discussed with his right hand woman, Río, Danzo believes that ANBU’s lieutenant commander Itona Takenaka is a spy of Orochimaru’s so he’s looking for a legal loophole to fire him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Basically, this is the last chapter you’re gonna get in a long while of lighthearted Itasaku-fluff, so enjoy.  
> Also, this monster was supposed to be a regular 9-10k thing, but then I added the note scene and the closet scene (you’ll get there in a bit) which is originally only glossed over and here we are. 16k. I regret nothing.  
> ALSO!! (I’m not done ranting yet) you guys’ support last chapter was overwhelming! It made me so happy to hear from you, truly! You can’t imagine how much. As I said to some people, I’m not a picky author, any comment makes me happy. I know I still haven’t answered to some of you, but I honestly thought you’d appreciate me focusing on getting this chapter out more. Now I have to wash the dishes and after that, I’ll be answering to every last one of you :)  
> So… enjoy!

Smoke swept across the room. The sandaime hokage took a deep drag from his pipe.

“I’ll be direct, Kakashi. We have reason to believe that Sand has brought their jinchuriki into the village. I want you to look into it.”

Kakashi tensed. Jinchuriki were no joke, he knew better than most. “How trustworthy is your source, sandaime-sama?”

Hiruzen chuckled. “Well, that depends on your meaning. My source is Danzo.”

Kakashi tensed even more. Danzo? Well, he wasn’t the type of fellow Kakashi would ever turn his back to, but his intelligence network could definitely be relied on. The hokage seemed to read his thoughts.

“Yes. That’s why I want you on this mission. Since Danzo was the one who found out about this possible threat, he’ll be sending an agent of his own as well.”

Wait, what? Kakashi frowned. “Ah… surely you don’t mean for me to work with someone from Root, hokage-sama?”

Hiruzen took yet another deep drag from his pipe, smoke blowing out of his nostrils and curling around his form. “I’m sorry to say – that is exactly what I mean, Kakashi. You’ll have to work with the Root commander.”

The _what?_ Had he gone insane?

Kakashi gave the hokage a bewildered look. “Can I not go on this mission with someone else? I mean, my history with Root isn’t exactly–”

Hiruzen sighed. “I understand your concern, Kakashi, but the decision has already been made. Jiraiya is otherwise occupied and besides for him you are the best qualified for this job. Don’t deny it. You have the sharingan on your side, which as you know is effective against jinchuriki, as it can help you ascertain whether our suspect truly does carry a bijuu, and you also have the sufficient fuinjutsu skills to attempt an emergency sealing if needed.”

“Alright,” said Kakashi slowly, “but the Root commander? I didn’t even know such a position existed,” he admitted. “Frankly, it can’t be good news that he’s being sent with me. Danzo must be planning something.”

  
“Your concerns are well founded,” Hiruzen said. “Generally, the Root commander is Danzo’s second in command. To my knowledge, this is a position he’d only entrust to shinobi who are a cut above the rest… the old Root commander used to be someone I knew. A fuinjutsu expert, in fact – he was killed by Danzo himself. For ‘insubordination’. That said, I am not certain who the current Root commander is or what his abilities are. However, Danzo has informed me that his unique skill set will allow him to gather intelligence on sand undetected.” Hiruzen paused thoughtfully. “According to Danzo (though he is a bit of a braggart), this Root commander of his could probably complete the recon mission without any aid.”

“Then why should I tag along?” Kakashi questioned, liking this Root character less and less. “This sounds like a trap.”

“That’s just the thing,” said Hiruzen. “Danzo was the one to request backup for this. From what I could gather, despite his faith in his agent, he wanted to have someone on the team who knew fuinjutsu just in case. It could be a trap as you say, but…” Hiruzen’s eyes narrowed speculatively. “I have known Danzo my whole life and he seemed ill at ease… if I read this right, the Root commander must be a very important piece in his chessboard – so much so, that he would go as far as to ask for my help to make sure it stays safe.” The look his eyes became intense, almost obsessed as he continued. “Kakashi, this is our chance to find a strong weakness in his armor. If the new Root commander is as important as I think, then we truly could gain something from this mission. I want you to find out who he is. You must memorize his smell so that you kind locate him later on… pinpoint his weaknesses…”

Kakashi shifted uncomfortably. “Hokage-sama? Is this… an assassination mission?”

“No, not yet. We don’t know anything about this shinobi. But I expect you to take this assignment and find out as much as you can about the Root commander. This might be a one in a lifetime chance to deal Danzo a serious blow. Do you understand?”

Kakashi gave his superior a nervous eye crinkle. “Yes, hokage-sama. I won’t let you down.”

Hiruzen smirked, taking yet another deep drag from his pipe. “Good. Then report to the Academy in an hour. He will meet you there. And Kakashi, when I say an hour, I mean it.”

  
  


  
  


After Itachi’s improvised speech, things had calmed down. He and Sakura had almost automatically fallen into their usual routine and before he knew it, they were sitting upon their bench, comfortably people-watching in silence as they each chewed on mochi and dango respectively. 

It was then that Itachi began to silently ruminate on and on about Sakura’s scar. He was confident he had eased some of her insecurities about it, but he still believed she should have the choice to hide it if she wished to. Being comfortable with it didn’t mean Sakura hadn’t a right to wish to look her best – and more importantly, it would be in Itachi’s best interests as well if she concealed it, as he had no desire for to Sakura find out about his supposed treason. The notion still sent his heart into a frenzy.

But on the other hand, hiding the scar might only pique other jonins’ cuRíosity… namely Kakashi’s. It was in a ninja’s very nature to poke their heads into other people’s business, and Kakashi was a classic example of this. In that sense, keeping the scar on display might be better – it was a way to hide it in plain sight, so to speak. But then again, most ninja weren’t very good at spotting genjutsu, especially if Itachi was in charge of said genjutsu.

He, for one, knew of an appearance-altering illusion which was so subtle that not even the sharingan could pick up on it unless it had seen the caster without the illusion first. This of course only worked due to the fact that the genjutsu was confined to the individual and not the environment, thus resulting in a very subtle change in the caster’s chakra flow… but if performed properly, it was virtually untraceable, even for the likes of Kakashi, who wasn’t a true master of the sharingan…

He had only first thought of the genjutsu fleetingly, trying to come up with easier alternatives, but the more Itachi ruminated on the topic, the more he came back to that particular technique. It was a favorite of his due to its extraordinary effectiveness and most importantly: how little chakra it took.

As its objective was to alter the user’s own appearance, no chakra needed to be channeled outwardly for the technique, which in theory would make it possible in a ‘perfect chakra control’ scenaRío to use up no chakra at all. Though of course, such a thing as perfect chakra control didn’t exist, though Tsunade of the Sannin had gotten quite close.

Yes… It was her Itachi had copied the genjutsu from.

During one of his first ANBU missions, his team had stumbled across the woman in an ugly skirmish at a betting house near the border. Itachi had been eleven at the time and a little full of himself, he now reflected with amusement, and so, watching in person the wonders of Tsunade’s chakra control had left him reeling for days. The sight of her flawless chakra efficiency (a term coined to denote how much excess chakra a ninja spent) had been an eye-opener for him. He had believed until then that he was a genjutsu expert. But after seeing her?

The woman walked around with a genjutsu so complex, so intricately woven, most Uchiha wouldn’t even notice it was there. No man knew what Tsunade’s true appearance was. And she wore the illusion daily, like an old, comfortable cloak. Like it was nothing. Itachi still remembered the mission as clearly as it had been yesterday.

“Watch and learn,” Kakashi (his captain at the time) had told him cheerily, right in the middle of the battle field, as they were surrounded by over fifty mobsters. “This is going to be fun.”

“But taichou! Shouldn’t we interfere?” Tenzo had questioned with alarm, looking around at the various mafia members in the area. The rest of team Ro had shifted around uneasily, but Kakashi had by contrast settled into a comfortable position, as though preparing to look at an interesting movie.

“Maa, if you want to get a fistful of brain matter, be my guest, Tenzo,” he had replied flippantly. “But as far as I’m concerned, the mission’s already complete. Look.”

And then they had proceeded to watch in mute shock as the female Sannin had gone on what one could only call… a rampage. 

In a matter of minutes, she’d single-handedly taken down an entire drug ring, pummelled the mobster in charge, and, once he’d passed out, proceed to bring the poor mafia boss back from the dead by fixing his spinal cord, and then punched a ten foot crater into the earth just to dig out her money. All of this, one ought to mention, without breaking a sweat. Not to mention, whilst looking drop-dead gorgeous and effortlessly maintaining the most refined genjutsu Itachi had seen up to that point.

Needless to say, Tsunade had been his first boyhood flame.

In any case, this chance encounter with the slug princess had forced a younger Itachi to reconsider his entire approach to the art of illusions as a whole. Since that fateful (in his opinion) day, he had begun to devote a great deal of his training to improving his chakra control, which, upon reaching ANBU level, was a very hard thing to do. It was a rather frustrating process, as Uchiha weren’t exactly built for finesse but rather to wield raw power, and it had taken him hours upon hours of practice to get even moderately close to the kind of control he’d seen Tsunade-hime exhibit. Even to this day, the gap between them was still quite large. But he’d never regret all those ours of frustrating training.

In fact, Itachi couldn’t even count the number of times he’d thanked his lucky stars for it, especially since he’d become a missing-nin, and more so since his illness had begun to ravage his body and consequently his chakra reserves.

So to summarize: Tsunade’s body-altering illusion was perhaps his favorite genjutsu of all time, not because of any particular intricacies (which there were), but rather, because it had taught him one of the most valuable lessons of his career… and it never failed to make him feel a happy kind of nostalgia as a bonus. Her technique was A-level, almost S-level, due to the fact that it took very, very good chakra control to master… and it had taken him an admittedly long time until he could perform it satisfactorily.

However, after seeing the kind of chakra control Sakura possessed, the way she had so intuitively created her very own technique – the air step – Itachi believed she could do it. And for some even stranger reason, he suddenly found himself excited at the prospect of teaching it to her.

And so, he spoke up:

“Do you still wish to learn the genjutsu I mentioned, Sakura?”

Sakura blinked at him owlishly. “I mean, sure… but… wouldn’t it be a bit of a hassle to keep it active all the time?”

Despite himself, Itachi found himself smiling. Sakura’s thoughts mirrored exactly his own from back then…

Without even meaning to, he ended up recounting the details of that fateful mission to her, mildly omitting some parts, but describing with great care what he remembered about Tsunade and how amazing she’d been. No sooner had he started, Sakura had gone completely starry eyed, and somehow, her receptiveness to his story had encouraged Itachi to delve even deeper into the meat of it. He even found he was enjoying himself quite a bit as he recounted such a fond memory. By the time he was done, Sakura was as enamored with the Sannin as him.

“Oh my god!” she screamed excitedly. “That’s just so, so, so…!”

“You have no words.”

“Exactly!”

Needless to say, after that, it didn’t take much convincing to get her invested in learning the technique.

Kakashi was, for once in his life, being kept waiting. If this weren’t already suspicious enough, he was waiting by the Academy swing of all places, feeling completely out of his depth.

  
  


And there were so many things wrong with that sentence that he didn’t even know where to begin. Him? Waiting? That happened once in a blue moon… not to mention their weird meeting place. The sight of the Academy brought him back to a time that made him feel raw. It brought him back to the death of his father, to his first meeting with Obito and Rin, the start of his rivalry with Gai, and yes, even his first meeting with team seven. 

  
  


All of these memories held deep emotions tied to them for varying reasons, and the thing was… Kakashi didn’t do emotions. Which is why he felt so out of his depth – partly, at least. It was also because he’d shortly be working with the Root commander. Kakashi’s ever so paranoid mind whispered that the man had told him to meet there precisely so that he started overthinking things: to get to him. For sure this was some kind of nefarious plan to unsettle him… that was Danzo’s MO after all.

  
  


“I can practically hear you thinking from over here,” a voice suddenly piped up.

  
  


_I can hear you thinking?_ That was a strange choice of words…

Kakashi was not proud of his reaction, but out of surprise he accidentally tossed a barrage of shuriken at the person.

  
  


In a curious parody of his genin’s bell test, the speaker absently caught the shuriken between two fingers, letting them spin until they lost their momentum, and then deftly pocketed them.

  
  


On his part, Kakashi’s stingy tendencies nearly had him asking to have them back, but he barely just managed to restrain himself. Now wasn’t the time.

  
  


“Oh, right. Here you go,” said the speaker, retrieving the shuriken and holding them out. “Sorry for pocketing them.”

  
  


Kakahi eyed the speaker warily. The fact that he was wearing a mask, albeit a weird one, made it more than clear that this was who he’d been waiting for – the Root commander. Even if he didn’t really act like Kakashi would’ve expected him to. 

  
  


“On second thought…” Kakashi said slowly, eyeing the shuriken being returned to him. “You can keep them.” He sure wasn’t about to touch anything the Root commander had.

  
  


The Root commander stared at him blankly, then at his discarded weapons. “You don’t want your shuriken back?” 

  
  


Kakashi waved him off, watching as the man hesitantly pocketed them. His gaze was again drawn to the mask. It was not a normal mask. There were no embellishments of any kind drawn upon it, nor any shape that would mimic features of any kind: it looked almost as though someone had taken an old porcelain tray and smashed it to get a makeshift mask, with two ragged, vertical lines that functioned as eye-slits.

  
  


For some reason, Kakashi felt like he knew of this mask from somewhere, even if a larger part of his brain told him that he’d remember having seen it, what with how odd it was. Still, that sense of deja vu persisted.

The Root commander made a hesitant noise to draw his attention. “Would you care to discuss the mission?”

Kakashi didn’t answer. Without prompt, an old memory had hit him and suddenly he knew just who that mask belonged to. _Holly shit._

Little was known about the Mind Flayer other than cautionary tales in shady pubs. To be honest, Kakashi himself had until today doubted such a ninja even existed, but now he knew otherwise. He'd first heard of that mask on a mission. It was a very shady, village financed S Rank mission. His exact orders had been to find out more about ‘someone capable of reading thoughts on command, without the need of physical contact’ and, if he were to come across such a person, to capture or kill them. Kakashi still didn’t know how or why the hokage had known. When he’d asked for specifics, for a description or a reason behind the odd assignment, he’d been treated to a glare and silence.

Much to Kakashi's surprise, it had been a very hard mission. He’d searched everywhere to no avail. He'd begun to think that the hokage was just having him on. Even though he was perhaps the best tracker of his generation (and not just because of his nose but also his wits), Kakashi had barely found out anything at all about this mind reading ninja, only second-hand accounts of people who had heard from other people about such a person that made him out to be an urban legend more than anything.

He’d been ready to give up when he’d hit the jackpot. An old woman claimed to have seen the fellow. She had creatively dubbed him the Mind Flayer and her account had been by far the most convincing (though that wasn’t saying much). She’d described watching, hidden behind earth and bushes, as the Mind Flayer took out a group of over ten jonin on his own. She described him as a warrior that seemed to know what his opponents' attacks would be even before they themselves did. She described watching him place a hand on their temples and how, after passing out and subsequently waking up, none of them remembered the encounter (complete defeat) at all, laughing the woman off when she’d narrated what had happened.

Now, with no small amount of trepidation, Kakashi now eyed the person standing in front of him, wearing a mask that resembled the woman’s description too much to be a coincidence. This man, the Root commander, was the Mind Flayer. _Holly shit._ Had the hokage known this all along? He'd said he didn't know who the Root commander was, but he must've known him from something else...

  
  


“Are you quite done?” the mind flayer piped up.

Kakashi stared at him.

“And… I don’t know where you heard that Mind Flayer crap, but… please stop. It sounds gross. I’d really rather go by Río.”

Kakashi continued to stare.

  
  


Wait… the old woman's account was true?! _H_ _e can read my mind right now?_ he thought with alarm. _Without physical contact?!_

“Well, if you keep broadcasting your thoughts like that… it’s akin to having noisy neighbors, you know.”

He stared at the mind flayer in horror. This was even worse than the rumors. This was… Wait , the ever-vigilant part of Kakashi’s brain cautioned. Don’t think about him. I can’t give him any kind of edge.

“You catch on pretty quick, huh,” said the mind flayer mirthfully. “To control the flow of your own thoughts is hard, but probably your best shot. Give me a cup, I’ll take a vase and all that.”

Right, that was – wait. _Did he just make up a saying?_

“I suppose so…? I thought it was an actual turn of phrase?”

Kakashi stared at him. _Yeah right._ The mind Flayer was definitely messing with him somehow. What was his game?

“Cut me some slack here. I’m Root. I do my best, but we’re not exactly a well-adjusted bunch.” 

Kakashi continued to stare at him.

“…don’t look at me like that! I made up a saying, it’s not like I kicked a puppy.” 

Kakashi was at a loss. How could he act so casual? He was the mind flayer, darn it! Why was he being friendly? What was his angle?

This guy, he could tell, was dangerous on a whole other level than Zabuza. He wasn’t just strong – he was a master manipulator, and by the looks of it, incredibly cunning.

“I’m really not sure whether to be offended by that or not.” 

_Ugh_ , thought Kakashi. Would he keep reading his thoughts like this all day?

“Sorry. But that’s akin to telling you not to use your enhanced sense of smell to detect deceit, read emotions and so on in the middle of a mission.”

 _How does he know about that?_ Kakashi thought furiously. _I haven't told anyone I do that in over a decade!_

“Surely you can turn off your mind reading abilities whilst working with an ally though?” he tried asking out loud. “We have a common goal during this mission. There’s no need to read my thoughts.”

“If you didn’t broadcast them quite so loudly, maybe,” Rio said. “You have a very active mind, you know. Very rapid-fire neurons right there. I approve. Good broadcasting speed.”

 _That’s it_ , concluded Kakashi. _What does he take me for, a radio?_ If anything, the radio was this guy, Kakashi thought viciously. _You can show yourself right out, mind radio._

  
  


Now it was the Root commander’s turn to stare.

“You know, this conversation is not what I was expecting,” he said after a beat. Kakashi swore he heard him mutter: “I mean… mind radio, of all things…” 

“I try,” he replied blandly. In truth, Kakashi agreed. This felt surreal. Completely fever-dream like.

“Nice,” said the mind radio. “But call me Río. Please.”

 _Río the radio_ , Kakashi thought.

Judging by the subsequent silence, he could tell Rio had no idea what to do with him. There was an awkward pause.

“Right… anyway. Shouldn’t we discuss the mission? Do you have any questions?”

“Ah,” said Kakashi after a beat. “Well, the mission parameters are straightforward enough, but I have one tiny doubt, Radio–”

“ Río.”

“Ridio.”

He could practically feel the mind radio’s eyebrows twitch, though he wasn’t corrected again.

“What.”

“How do you know that our target is here?” Kakashi asked. He hadn’t heard anything of a jinchuriki visiting, and he usually was the first to find out about these things. So how had Danzo…?

“That’s classified,” Rio said. 

“I feel like I need some context here,” Kakashi needled. He didn’t really need context of course, but the more information he could wheedle the better.

“Let’s just say that we had a tip, and I really can’t tell you anything else. Also, stop calling me that.”

“Stop reading my thoughts and we’ll have a deal, ne?”

Rio sighed. “Listen Kak – Hatake-san. Can I be frank with you?”

Kakashi waved his hand. “Knock yourself out.”

  
  


“Alright. Well… just so you know, I don’t mean you any harm. I trust your integrity as a shinobi, but… I don’t trust your orders. I hope I’m wrong, but frankly, you could be plotting for ways to kill me at this very instant,” Rio said. “Taking that into account, can you blame me for reading your surface thoughts?”

  
  


For a second, Kakashi was floored. “Mou. So paranoid,” he managed to reply casually.

What he resolutely did not think about was that Rio happened to be right. His little side quest was to figure out how to kill him, after all.

  
  
  


Meanwhile, Itachi and Sakura were hard at work trying to master Tsunade’s genjutsu… or rather, discussing its mechanics in depth, because Sakura had insisted that she couldn’t possibly attempt the technique if she didn’t understand it, and as it had quickly turned out, she understood very little about genjutsu in general, which had prompted a lengthy discussion on genjutsu theory. Finally, when they finished talking about it, Itachi proposed Sakura give it a try… which she eagerly did. 

But she failed. Again and again, she failed.

“How is this possible?” Sakura said. “I understand everything, I know what the chakra is supposed to be doing, my hand-seals are perfect… I just don’t get it!”

Itachi sighed. “I was wrong to expect so much from you, Sakura,” he apologized. “This is practically an S-rank technique, we should try someth–”

“Did I ask?” Sakura interrupted rudely.

Itachi stilled, completely taken aback, but Sakura looked more vexed at herself than anything, so he imagined she hadn’t meant him any offense…

“Just tell me what I’m doing wrong,” she begged in a softer tone.

“You don’t have enough chakra control,” said Itachi shortly.

“But… but that’s impossible!”

“Sakura. This is an S-rank technique, one which has that rank expressly because of the required chakra control. What did you expect?”

“But – but I mastered the airstep faster than you! And you can do the genjutsu, can’t you?”

Itachi nodded. “Yes, but you mastered the airstep by solving the surface tension equations and applying the results practically, did you not? Chakra control had very little to do with that.” It was essential to the technique, yes, but it hadn’t been the missing puzzle piece, so to speak. Otherwise, the airstep would’ve been invented a lot sooner.

Sakura sighed, dejected. “And now what? I can already do the sand sticking chakra control exercise, the leaf-sticking exercise, I’ve mastered tree-walking, water-walking, air-steppting… What’s next?”

Itachi hummed thoughtfully. “After mastering all of these, chakra control is hard to improve upon, manly because there aren’t many more exercises to do so,” he explained. “However, back when I was attempting to master Tsunade-hime’s illusory technique, I delved quite deep in as many obscure chakra exercises as I could.”

“And?” asked Sakura excitedly.

“I found one exercise that sealing masters of old as well as medics used to employ in order to further their training in the advanced stages of their careers.”

“Really?” asked Sakura excitedly. “That’s so interesting! But why ‘used to’? Did they get tired of it? Is it dangerous?”

Itachi chuckled. “No, it’s not dangerous, though it’s notoRíously difficult… and requires expensive materials. Modern medicine has other ways to improve upon chakra control thanks to some of the complex surgical procedure simulations Tsunade-sama invented which is why the old method was discarded. Sealing masters are also nearly extinct.”

“I guess that makes sense.”

“Yes,” said Itachi. “And as I gather that you aren’t up for a coronary disease operation at the moment, I propose following the old method.”

Sakura giggled. “HilaRíous. And you’re right – I wouldn’t want to inflict myself upon some poor old man. Or woman.”

“It would be a dummy,” said Itachi with a chuckle. “And with enough practice, you could become a med nin eventually… but yes, at the moment, I believe that would be for the best.”

Sakura blinked. “You really thing I could become a med-nin? But that’s so… not glorified. And expensive! I don’t have a clan to sponsor me, remember?”

“Tsunade-hime invented med-nins. As far as I’m concerned, anything to do with her is very much gloRíous,” Itachi countered. “But you’re probably right, Sakura. Getting into the medical program would be a little hard without the capital… But in any case, are you up for the chakra exercise?”

Sakura nodded. “Sure! What is it?”

“Well… how to explain…” Itachi trailed off. “Are you familiar with chakra paper?”

“Uh, yeah,” said Sakura, frowning at the unhappy recollection. “What about it?”

“The tree that produces it is the ginkgo biloba.”

When Sakura stared at him blankly, Itachi looked back at her, almost offended. “You don’t know about the ginkgo biloba tree?”

“Should I?” she said confusedly.

“Of course,” Itachi remarked. “I can’t believe this. I thought you were well-read, yet you don’t know about the ginkgo biloba tree.”

“Hey, I am well-read!”

“So you truly don’t know about the ginkgo biloba tree…” he muttered to himself.

“Stop saying ginkgo biloba! It’s annoying!”

“Why? The ginkgo biloba is–”

“–your favorite tree, I get it,” said Sakura. “Now, can we move on with the conversation?”

“Not until I educate you on the facts of the gikgo biloba,” Itachi said in a ‘take it or leave it’ kind of tone.

Sakura rolled her eyes, smiling wryly. “Fine. Enlighten me.”

He proceeded to do just that.

“Firstly, the ginkgo biloba is the oldest tree in existence,” he lectured. “It has been noted to have existed since the Jurassic ages and is called the fossil tree for a reason.”

“Uh-uh.”

“An interesting fact to note,” continued Itachi, “is that the ginkgo biloba trees were the only survivors of the legendary Shukaku no Rasna’s bomb blast during the Third Shinobi War.”

“Rasna?” Sakura questioned. “Hmm… I feel like I’ve heard that name before.”

Itachi’s eyes gleamed knowingly, though he forged on undeterred: “There were four trees that were charred, but survived. They are still said to be alive and flourishing, and have since been called by many villagers the trees of life.”

“Good for them.”

“Another intriguing fact about ginkgo trees is that their bark and leaves are said to secrete a sap with fire-retardant properties.”

“That’s, umm… nice, I guess?”

“Nice?” said Itachi. “Sakura, it saved my life.”

“Uh. Really?”

“Yes. The sap’s fire-retardant properties once aided me against an enemy shinobi with great prowess in his fire jutsu,” Itachi remarked. “Never overlook such facts about nature, Sakura, for they might very well one day pose the difference between life and death.”

Sakura nodded dutifully, resigned to getting ‘the full ginkgo biloba experience’.” She had never seen Itachi so passionate about anything before, and if it made him happy, well, she was prepared to endure his rant.

Wow… she thought, he must really like those trees.

“Alright. That’s, er, interesting,” is what she said out-loud. “What else can you tell me?”

“Hmm… you like to read, don’t you, Sakura?”

“I guess I do. Why?”

“In Konoha, the leaves of the tree are used as bookmarks, as they are known to protect the books from silverfish and booklice, due to their chemical composition.”

“Wait, seRíously? I have plenty of those leaf bookmarks! I never knew they came from that tree!”

“They do,” said Itachi with a pleased expression. “Not to mention, the leaves are shaped like a fan, Sakura. A fan .”

Clearly, the significance of this was lost on her, because Sakura just nodded dumbly. Or perhaps not, for she added: “Maybe I should get one for Sasuke then.”

This observation only seemed to please Itachi even more. “Good idea. Did you know, according to traditional medicine, ginkgo is thought to be an aphrodisiac?”

“Is it really?” exclaimed Sakura, suddenly very interested.

Itachi smirked. “Indeed.”

“Too bad then that I don’t like Sasuke any more,” she replied smartly.

Itachi stared at her, confused. “You… don’t?” He seemed almost sad to hear this.

“Nope,” said Sakura proudly. “My sights,” she said with a sigh, “are set on someone else now.”

Itachi looked at her with a strange expression on his face. “Isn’t there a chance you’ll reconsider?”

Sakura’s eyebrows knitted together. “What? What are you even suggesting? It’s not like Sasuke likes me back.”

Itachi said nothing to do that, but he kept staring at her with a kind of sad expression which was making Sakura uncomfortable.

““Hmp! Whatever,” she said, crossing her arms. “Why are we even talking about this?”

Itachi averted his eyes. “I was telling you about the advanced chakra exercise when I discovered your staggering lack of knowledge regarding ginkgo biloba tree facts.” He somehow managed to sound offended by this.

“Ah. Right. Please remind me what the ginkgo biloba has to do with that?”

“By the way, did you also know that Confucius used to spend a lot of time reading and writing underneath a ginkgo tree?”

“That’s riveting, but can we please get on with it?”

Itachi laughed, bemused. “Alright. Well, the ginkgo biloba, as I said, is the source of chakra paper… but what most people don’t know is that one can also derive chakra threads from it.”

“Chakra threads?”

“Aa. They are outwardly like normal threads, but they dissolve as soon as a certain amount of chakra is channeled into them. They are often utilized in surgical procedures, as they pose great advantages due to their easy removal.”

“That makes sense,” said Sakura thoughtfully. “How do they work? What are they for?”

“Well, you would have to channel your chakra into them and move them with your chakra.”

“That’s actually possible?” Sakura questioned, eyes widened.

“It is,” Itachi confirmed. “In fact, many med-nins use them to complete surgeries… chakra threads have the aditional advantage that they only react to the first chakra frequency they are infused with, so that makes removal very easy for anyone with good control.”

“But that’s amazing!” Sakura exclaimed. “How would I even train with them though?”

“Well,” said Itachi. “First, you would have to try to move one thread. Getting it to move without breaking it already requires much control. Once you improve, I suppose you could try to move many of them at once, perhaps even infusing them with different chakra frequencies… the possibilities are endless.”

“Woah,” said Sakura, suddenly feeling very small again. Would she be able to do all those things?

“So…” she ventured after a lengthy pose, trying to think more practically about the situation. “You said earlier they were expensive. Just how expensive are we talking here?”

“Nothing that couldn’t be purchased for with a well-paying D-rank,” Itachi supplied.

“Hm. That’s good then.”

“It is.”

“But there’s just one problem.”

“What?”

“Kaka-sensei canceled our missions for the day! And for tomorrow as well!”

“Can’t you wait?”

“Of course I can’t wait! Would you wait if Tsunade-hime’s jutsu was within reaching distance? Huh? Would you?”

“Of course not.”

“Then that settles it!”

“Settles… what?” Itachi asked slowly.

“We go on a mission!”

“The two of us?”

“Yep!” said Sakura excitedly. “With the chunin exams, civilians need as many helping hands as they can get! And with my contacts, I bet I can secure an unofficial mission off the books! That way, the money that usually goes to taxes will be mine!”

Itachi retreated a step, slightly wary of the odd gleam in Sakura’s eye.

“Remind me never to steal from you,” he said, marveling at her money-embezzling capabilities. If she ever did become a merchant, the guilds all across the world had better prepare, for a monster would be born.

But by then, Sakura’s mind was already far away, presumably plotting their next move.

Her declaration did not disappoint: half an hour later, they had landed an extremely well-paying job thanks to Sakura’s civilian “contacts”. Itachi was starting to think that hailing from civilian parents might have some advantages after all…

The mission she’d managed to land them was a simple painting job. Its only difficulty lay in the fact that they had to paint a very tall building, but with Sakura’s newly conquered fear of heights, this was no longer an issue.

The actual problem revealed itself once they were finishing the first paint coat of the upper area:

“Wait a moment…” said Sakura suddenly, her voice tinted with dismay. “How are we going to paint what’s underneath our feet?”

“You could–”

“I am not waiting for the paint to dry!”

Itachi smirked. “I was going to say: you could do this .”

And without further ado, he suddenly swung his feet off the wall, switching to his hand instead. In other words, he was now holding onto the wall only thanks to his hand, the palm of which was flatly pressed against it, though somehow – impressively – he had managed this all while remaining completely vertically against the wall, his body as straight as a flagpole. Then, Itachi went even further, switching from his palm to his index finger as his only point of contact, an action which required some major chakra distribution fine-tuning…

By the time he was satisfied he wouldn’t fall off, he turned around, pleased, only to find Sakura blushing.

“What?” he asked plainly.

She looked away.

“Nothing!”

“Just say it.”

“Alright, fine! Geez. It’s nothing. I just figured you must have… a lot of core strength to pull that off.”

“Obviously,” said Itachi blankly. Sometimes he really didn’t understand her at all. “Want to try?”

She gave him a miffed look.

“It’s also a good-chakra control exercise…” Itachi added with a smirk.

“You should’ve lead with that!”

He had absolutely no idea what they were doing there nor how it could relate to their upcoming intelligence gathering mission. His confusion only grew when Río promptly stopped in front of the… restroom facilities.

“Ah…” Kakashi ventured uncertainly. “Is there any reason why we’re here?”

“Yes.”

“Which is?”

“Um. Well, I thought we could meet in neutral grounds such as the Academy and use the facilities here to change into our disguise,” Río supplied. “Because… y’know. I figured you’d rather not set foot into Root headquarters.”

Right…

In all honesty, Kakashi was surprised (and grudgingly thankful) for Río’s consideration – he’d really rather avoid Danzo’s lair, thank you very much – but he wasn’t about to admit it.

“Hm… I see how it is.”

“What.”

Kakashi turned toward Río, raising his eyebrows. “Public restrooms, really?”

Río crossed his arms. “Yes. So?”

Kakashi couldn’t help but find certain amusement in his obvious frustration.

“The Root commander, a cheapskate. Who would’ve guessed?”

“Are you offering your apartment then?” Río snapped.

“…”

“I thought so.”

Kakashi looked at the restroom again. It was used by Academy kids – enough said. Next to him, Río snorted.

“Is the great Hatake Kakashi scared of _germs_?”

Kakashi shot him a glare. He wasn’t scared of a restroom. He wasn’t. It was just… he had a sensitive sense of smell, alright!

“I’ll leave you to it then,” said Río. “Enjoy your stay.”

“Wait,” Kakashi called.

The commander cocked his head questioningly, like a cat. “Now what?”

“Maa… I was thinking… why don’t we simply use a henge?”

“No. We cannot risk discovery at any cost, and you are well known enough that if they break the henge, it’d be a disaster.”

Or in other words, he’d have to go with a non-chakra dependent concealment. Kakashi sighed, giving Río a nod and subsequently venturing into the restroom. Disguise it was. 

He changed quickly into civilian clothes. Unfortunately, when he exited the stall, Kakashi came face to face with an Academy student. Kakashi looked at the kid and the kid looked at him.

“Oi! I know who you are!” he shouted. “You’re Naruto-nii-chan’s sensei, aren’t you!”

Right. Kakashi inwardly sighed, bemoaning the fact that he’d somehow managed to encounter the hokage’s grandson in a public restroom.

“How about you go back to class?” he suggested drolly.

“You can’t tell me what to do, old man!”

Kakashi sighed. To make matters worse, he suddenly picked up on light footsteps behind him.

 _Please n_ _ot another_ _kid_ , he thought with horror. If it was another kid, he’d get very slow, painful revenge on the Root commander. Except, when Kakashi turned around, it wasn’t a child standing there, but rather a …woman. Err, a woman was standing there.

“Hah?” Konohamaru exclaimed. “Oi lady! You can’t be here! You’re not a boy!”

The woman was lithe and straight-backed. And fit. Glancing at Kakashi, then arching an eyebrow at Konohamaru, she advanced into the restroom, crouched in front of the kid, who stared back at her with a blush, and then smoothly placed a palm on his forehead, as though taking his temperature. Konohamaru immediately passed out.

The woman then lifted him quite effortlessly and dropped him inside one of the stalls, placing him gingerly upon the toilet seat, after which she turned back to him, looking about as awkward as Kakashi felt.

“Uh,” Kakashi said dumbly. “Are you… I mean. Are you…?”

The woman’s eyebrow quirked up. “Am I?”

Kakashi scowled. “Are you… the… I mean… did you, uh…?”

She seemed to take pity on him. “Are you trying to ask whether I’m Río or not?”

“Yes. That.”

She smiled. “Then yes. I’m Río. And before you ask, Konohamaru won’t remember this exchange, so don’t worry.”

That was good, but not the point. “I thought we’d said no hengue?” Kakashi questioned, annoyed.

Río looked at him blankly.

Kakashi stared back.

“I’m not using a hengue.”

But those breasts looked really realistic. Wait…

“You’re a woman,” heconcluded dumbly.

“…”

“…”

Río coughed. You could’ve heard a pin drop.

Shit.

“Can we pretend this didn’t happen,” Kakashi said into the silence.

“Please,” _**she**_ agreed.

Desperately, Kakashi searched for any topic – any topic at all – to divert the conversation. “Hm… how’s my disguise?”

“You only changed clothes.”

Right. Smooth, Hatake.

“Ma, I have a wig and contacts. I just didn’t put them on.”

“Alright.” Río gave him a quizzical look. “What will you do about your scar?”

“Makeup.”

“…and your mask?”

Kakashi shrugged. “I didn’t know it was suspicious to have a cold.”

Río frowned but didn’t say anything else. Clearly, she wouldn’t fight him on it, but she didn’t look all that pleased with his surgical mask idea. And yet, despite himself, Kakashi had to admit that she was right: this mission was too dangerous to risk ruining it over something as silly as insisting to keep wearing his mask. Surgical or not, they still attracted attention. Hell, he was an ANBU. He wouldn’t let his personal preferences get in the way. Gingerly, he slipped the mask off.

Sticking his hands into his pockets, Kakashi decided to inspect the ceiling, very much aware of the fact that half the village would kill to get a glimpse of his face. Of all the women who would’ve paid to see his face, it had to be this one that finally would manage it. And for free. Kakashi mourned the lost opportunity. This was so anticlimactic.

Meanwhile, Río was staring at her feet. What, wasn’t she interested in his face? No way. After he finally revealed it and she didn’t even look? He’d just pretend she had, for the sake of his vanity.

“Take your time,” Kakashi told her sarcastically.

“I wasn’t looking!” Rio snapped, not picking up on it.

Kakashi found her reaction too amusing to ignore. “ _Right_.”

“I _wasn’t_. And you know it!”

“You were looking at the mirror just now.”

“I was looking at the _floor_!”

“Which is wet, so it acted like a mirror.”

“You… you’re a jerk! See if I bother to be considerate next time.”

Kakashi found he was grinning, but he forced himself to stop.

“Ma, you can look, you know. It’s not like my face is such a big deal. How did _you_ disguise yourself anyway? Any facial changes?”

Río shrugged, looking up slowly. “My appearance isn’t public knowledge. Hardly anyone in this village…”

“Yes?”

“Oh. Um.” She hastily looked away from his face. “I am told that I look distinctly non-threatening, so I didn’t deem a disguise necessary.”

“So no facial changes?” Kakashi wanted to know.

Río gave him look. “What’s it to you? …and no.” She shrugged, staring determinedly at a wall. “I figured wearing something feminine and non-threatening would do.”

Well. His hormones felt slightly threatened but it wasn’t like that was any of her business. Wait. The mission. _Focus!_

“Ma. So what’s the plan?” Kakashi interrupted hastily. “Infiltrate the hotel as delivery guys or something?”

Rio pursed her lips thoughtfully. “Will they order food though?”

Kakashi frowned. “…probably not. Maybe we could go in as salespeople then?”

“Um… I have no clue about civilian topics, so what would we even say in our sales pitch? Talk about Jiraiya’s books?”

Kakashi very deliberately did not flush. She knew about that?

“You’re probably right. Maybe something else then,” he said quickly.

“Um… we could pretend to be… other guests or something?”

Kakashi frowned. “No, they’ll want to keep to themselves. The cliche cleaning lady disguise would sooner fool them than that.”

“I could do that…” Río offered hesitantly. “Not sure I’d be very good cleaning lady though. I don’t usually clean anything besides for training mats.”

Eh… right. He’d almost forgotten she was Root. “There’s not much science to it. Just mop the floor or something.”

“Okay…” She nodded to herself. “Mop the floor. Got it. And if I act odd, you could dress up as a bellhop and warn me discreetly.”

A bellhop? Kakashi couldn't help but snort at the ridiculousness of the idea. It was so bizarre that Gaara and his sand ilk would probably fall for it. If Naruto had taught him anything, then it was that unpredictability was a powerful weapon.

“Ma… they’ll never see us coming.”

Río was clearly fighting a grin. “And if they do, we’ll mop the floor with them.”

Kakashi rolled his eyes, but he was suppressing a grin too.

Meanwhile, back in last time’s hotel kitchen, Orochimaru and Kabuto had once again gathered to discuss their nefaRíous agenda.

”Orochimaru-sama?” Kabuto was saying. “The preparations are ready.”

“Marvelous,” rasped Orochimaru. “I can hardly wait…” He licked his tongue, almost as though savoring a nice snack.

“Are you sure you don’t want to follow your original plan?” Kabuto asked uncertainly.

Orochimaru stilled. “Kabuto… you don’t understand. You weren’t there… You didn’t see the way Sasuke was wrapped around his teammate’s little finger. He didn’t seem bent on getting power at all… he cares too much for his teammates.”

“I see. I suppose that would make it difficult to lure him away,” Kabuto admitted.

“Precisely. Letting him go now that I have the chance to take him would be too large a gamble. And unlike dear Tsunade, I don’t make a habit of losing my bets…” he finished with a smirk.

Kabuto smirked back, pleased.

“Very well, my lord. Tonight, it is.”

Kakashi the bellhop and Rio the cleaning lady managed to sneak into their targets’ hotel staff changing room without many problems. Filching the respective uniforms for their disguise was like taking candy from a baby – but from that point on, their mission would get notably more complicated.

“Alright, so we shouldn’t get caught by them, but if we are, I’m just an innocent cleaning lady mopping the floor…” Rio was muttering to herself.

Kakashi scratched his wig and gave a hum of assent. The wig, makeup and contacts he’d donned felt itchy and uncomfortable. Plus, all the different smells that invaded his (now uncovered) nostrils made it much worse. The sooner they could finish this mission, the better. He and Rio both had plenty of motivation to work fast and so, half an hour later, the cleaning service plus bellhop were walking into room 118 without arousing the faintest suspicion. The guests of 118 had actually specified in their file that they wanted no cleaning staff anywhere in their room, but that was neither here nor there. Surely no one could blame an innocent cleaning lady for overseeing a small footnote in a tiny file?

Long story short, Kakashi and Río had managed to unearth Gaara and his team’s room number (the lady at the reception desk had been more than a little distracted once she’d seen Kakashi’s face) and from then on all they’d had to do was infiltrate the sand sibling’s hotel room in order to figure out whether Gaara was a jinchuriki or not and, if so, what he was doing in Konoha.

Fortunately, the sand siblings weren’t in, which gave them some time to investigate. Unfortunately, there were no clues lying around that could answer their questions. The three room area was clean, if heavily trapped. Little could be deduced from it other than that the sand siblings were ninja and that their jonin sensei was clearly good at traps.

After riffling around some more, they’d found out some weapon cleaners and polishers that seemed to point toward a puppet master and someone with a fan, but Kakashi had already known about that anyway from the chunin exams. There were no clues regarding Gaara’s possible choice of weapon – nor the jonin sensei’s. Speaking of him, their jonin sensei, a man called Baki, was purposefully being held up at the hokage tower under the pretenses of sorting out some paperwork paper work (courtesy of the hokage), which was good news, for it soon became apparent that they would need to spy on the sand siblings themselves to find out anything worthwhile.

This is why Kakashi and Rio made the decision to wait for their return. They were ANBU (and Root), so hiding was second nature to them… which is how they’d ended up in their current predicament.

Silently, they both listened to the approaching footsteps from their position on the ceiling. They came even closer and then the door opened, letting in two people. Neither of them was Gaara, Kakashi noted with annoyance. Even so, their current conversation more than made up for it.

“—of course I didn’t mean that!” the male sibling, Kankuro, was saying. Both siblings moved into another room, but the conversation could still be heard clearly.

There was a sigh, as the girl said: “Just cut the bullshit, Kankuro. We both know you did.” 

This was followed by a long silence, followed by that of a person plopping down on a bed. After this, the sounds of someone working… screws.

 _Must be the puppet_ , Kakashi deduced. Next to Kankuro, the girl had apparently started polishing her own weapon — _ah, the_ _fan._

Then someone sighed, ostensibly Temari, for she spoke next: “You know, I can’t blame you for feeling the way you do.” Another silence. Kakashi gave Río a questioning look, but she seemed just as mystified as him.

“I don’t know either,” she whispered. “They’re both very emotional right now.” 

“But can’t you read their minds?” Kakashi asked quietly. He’d already known about their heightened emotional state from his sense of smell.

“Yes, but I can’t read emotions. Their thoughts are too disjointed because of them,” Río murmured back.

Kakashi frowned, continuing to listen in.

“You… you don’t?” Kankuro’s voice sounded again. “Blame me, I mean?”

“No. It’s… well I’m not going to say it’s normal. A shinobi shouldn’t grow fond of their opponent — that’s just against the rules. But… but it does happen. Ugh. Those Konoha guys; they’re so damned nice. It’s just unfair!”

“Wait. So you like them too?”

This time it was Temari’s turn to sound embarrassed. “I don’t like them. I just _respect_ them. Kind of.”

“Pffff, you totally do, don’t you sis? My god, you’re even blushing!”

“Don’t make things up, you idiot! And don’t go presuming things about what I think. I just, ugh… I don’t… I don’t have to like someone to not want to _kill_ them.”

Kakashi and Río exchanged wide-eyed glances.

_Kill us?_

There was another drawn out silence.

“Yeah…” Kankuro said at last. “We’re way better off with Konoha as our ally, not our en–”

“Kankuro, you idiot! You know you’re not supposed to speak so plainly about it. This is _classified_.”

“I know, I know. But relax, Temari. We’re alone.”

“Did you check?”

A telling silence followed.

“Kankuro, you, you…! You didn’t check?”

“Hey, neither did you!”

“It was your turn today! You’re such a sloppy, stupid, moron! Fine. I’ll do it then, since following obligatory protocol seems to bother you so much.”

There was the sound of someone brusquely standing up and picking up a heavy object, the fan. Kakashi reached toward his hitai ate in order to expose his sharingan. For a few poignant minutes, they listened with baited breath to the sounds of Temari checking the few available hiding spots – though thankfully not seeing them.

“What are you doing?” a new, raspy voice interrupted.

“G-Gaara!” Temari exclaimed, her voice high-pitched. “I didn’t think you’d come back so soon.”

Gaara didn’t answer. “Why were you checking the room?” he questioned instead. “Is someone hiding here?”

“Nah!” Kankuro cut in. “It’s just sis being paranoid, what with the invasion coming up.”

 _ **I**_ _ **nvasion?**_ Kakashi and Río once again exchanged wide-eyed looks.

“ _Kankuro!”_ Temari hissed. “Keep your mouth shut!”

“Relax, Temari. If anyone was here, Gaara could just take care of–”

“I will check,” Gaara cut in. He sounded like he’d very much love to have an excuse to kill somebody right then.

“A-alright. We’ll leave you to it!” Temari said, hastily dragging Kankuro out of the room. One second later, they were gone.

Now, Río and Kakashi were alone with their target.

Whilst all of this was happening, Sakura and Itachi had completed their wall-painting job (with great difficulties on Sakura’s part) and subsequently acquired a ball of chakra threads. Then they’d gone back to Sakura’s house to try it out, but it was at that point when she had seen her finished kerchief for Sasuke laying quietly upon her night table. She’d subsequently remembered that today was his birthday! and Sakura may not be so obsessed with him anymore, but she’d put in a lot of work into his present and she wasn’t about to let that go to waste. Especially as it really would be a good way to apologize for botching the chunin exams for him…

And so, she had very quickly explained to Itachi her thought process, who had been just as horrified and shocked at having forgotten Sasuke’s birthday. Soon enough, they had taken off toward Sasuke’s flat (which Sakura knew the whereabouts of thanks to the Academy fangirls’ stalker network) at top speed, chakra threads forgotten. Once arrived, Itachi had promised to wait for her in the street (concealed under a strong genjutsu) while Sakura went upstairs to Sasuke’s flat in order to give him her present. It was already dark out, so she figured he must be home.

First, Sakura conned one of the neighbors into opening the door for her, waving cheerily at Itachi as she went, mouthing: ‘wish me luck’. Itachi’s slight smile as she disappeared through the door was the last thing she saw… and the last smile she’d see on his face for a long time.

After successfully infiltrating the communal area, Sakura now had to find out exactly which flat was Sasuke’s. Thanks to her amazing superior intellect, she managed to pinpoint his current lodgings thanks to the mailboxes. Ha. She was awesome. However, now it occurred to her that there was really no going back. What if Sasuke didn’t like her present? What if he thought she was a creepy stalker? What if he wasn’t home?

Starting to feel rather nervous, Sakura ascended the communal staircase until she made it to 4 – B.

Hesitantly, she went to knock on the door, but found it ajar.

That wasn’t like Sasuke. He’d never be this careless. Maybe he’d left to chat with a neighbor?

“Sasuke?” Sakura called out worriedly. Nothing. There went her neighbor theory. Sakura was greeted only by silence, even as she repeated her address.

Hesitantly, she pushed the door open.

“Sasuke?”

It was completely dark inside. As much as she tried to peer into the rooms ahead, she could see nothing. And then – something moved.

Involuntarily, Sakura took a startled step back.

“Sasuke?”

Yet again, that stillness. She couldn’t explain why, but suddenly the hairs on her arms, on her back, everywhere, were standing on end and her entire skin prickled, her nerves on fire. Not daring to move even her eyes, which were trained blankly ahead, paralyzed by the darkness, Sakura flared her chakra as strongly as she could in the SOS signal.

The wait was one of the most excruciating of her life, though only seconds later, Itachi was by her side.

At first, his face acquired a vexed quality when he saw that she was alright. But then he took in the opened flat door, the dark apartment beyond, Sakura’s petrified features… and he went chalk white.

“Wait here,” he said. His voice had never sounded scarier.

And then he went in.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So a lot of shit went down this chapter, but more shit will go down on the next one, trust me.  
> Your thoughts are greatly cherished ;)
> 
> PS. Drew this forever ago, back in March. This scene was actually one of the first I ever came up with (along with the story drawing) so I thought I just had to upload this even if it didn’t come out that well… so here you go
> 
> ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
> 
>   
> 


	14. Husk

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The unlucky chapter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :) :) :)  
> Shit will hit the fan today. PS. The previous chapter has been slightly modified in some parts, and might still be modified in a few more... I'm unsure.

  
  
  
  


**23** **rd** **July, 20:45**

The darkness seemed to conceal the most horrific of nightmares. Itachi had already disappeared into it and Sakura remained rooted to the spot, staring fearfully into the depths of Sasuke’s apartment. Going inside… it felt like the most daunting thing she’d ever done. Even so, what if she was needed? What if something was horribly wrong and Sasuke depended on her?

In the end, Sakura moved. Perhaps, if Itachi hadn’t been there already, she’d have been too terrified to go in. Perhaps she’d have made the choice anyway. But none of that mattered as she crossed the threshold.

Sakura’s world narrowed down to what little chakra she could perceive, her hands acting as eyes as she tried to navigate the darkness. For tortuous minutes, she was left to fend on her own in the unknown as she tried to locate a light switch. She bumped into things and thought it was an enemy or that she’d be attacked based on the noise she was making. Constantly, Sakura tried to recall where that sound she’d heard before had come from, but she couldn’t, and it scared her. It scared her _so much._

And then her hands found the light switch.

A room came into sudden focus – an empty room. It was a small living room by the looks of it, and it was absolutely ransacked. That’s when Sakura heard a noise further into the apartment, the noise of a body hitting the floor.

Running on instinct, she took off toward it, stealth be damned, her heart drumming wildly in her rib cage. Just as Sakura reached the door, a thought struck her. What if inside the next room, there was a murderer? What if that noise earlier had been Itachi’s lifeless body as it hit the floor? She could still turn back. She could still turn back.

She didn’t. Her hand, Sakura noticed distantly, was shaking as she reached for the door handle. She pushed it open with a loud, unending creak, a creak that would reveal her presence to the murderer.

Finally the door opened but she couldn’t see. She held her breath and braced herself for an attack as her eyes adjusted to the semidarkness… but nothing came. Then it hit her: the tangy, coppery smell of blood. Fresh blood. And when she was finally able to see what lay beyond her, Sakura’s blood froze in her veins.

It was dark. The corners of the room remained unfathomable, but before her, the light of the hallway illuminated two figures. One kneeled over the other, who lay prone on the floor in a fetal position, with a shirt caked in red. The first was Itachi, the sound from earlier must’ve been that of his knees hitting the floor – though Sakura barely registered him as she approached the second… Sasuke.

He was hurt – so, so hurt it made the hairs on her arms stand on end. She couldn’t exactly see the injury, just the blood. There wasn’t even that much blood, but something – something was wrong with his face, though she couldn’t see what, curled into himself as he was. But he was alive, thought Sakura. He was alive, and that was what mattered.

“He needs first aid,” she heard herself say.

There was no answer.

She turned toward Itachi and found that he had frozen, his skin pasty white and his hands shaking. Something was very, very wrong with him, but there was no time. In her mind, Sakura had already made a list of priorities and Sasuke was her first.

He needed immediate medical attention, but for that, Sakura first had to asses the damage done to him. She needed to know whether they could carry him or not.

In that moment, as she strode toward the curled-up figure, her sandals squelching over the floor, Sakura remembered the hell-viewing technique Kakashi had once trapped her in. It was good that he had, because otherwise Sakura might’ve already passed out.

As it was, now only half her mind was freaking out about Sasuke – the other half was too busy freaking out about herself, or rather, her continued existence. Sakura felt unsafe as she approached him, she felt like someone was about to pounce on her, she could barely think straight out of fear and shock and horror. She didn’t know whether whoever had hurt Sasuke was still lurking somewhere, she wasn’t even sure whether Itachi would be able to fight if that was the case – he looked like he’d shut down completely – but she knew that she had to keep going. She was already useless as a default, she couldn’t fail now, not now. So she slowly lowered herself to her knees next to Sasuke.

And then–

A hand clamped over her shoulder, nails boring into flesh. Sakura startled violently.

 _The aggressor!_ her brain screamed. But when she looked, it was Itachi’s hand. His nails dug painfully into her clavicle and she felt so much strain on it that she feard he’d break the bone.

“You – you’re hurting me,” Sakura chocked out. “Stop it.”

The hand didn’t move.

“He needs help,” Sakura tried again. “Let me go, he needs help.” The iron grip softened marginally and Sakura knew he’d heard her. Somewhere in there, Itachi had heard her. “He’s not dead,” she insisted. “Sasuke’s not dead. He’s not dead, he’s not dead…”

She continued murmuring her mantra, partly in fear of Itachi, partly to break the terrifying silence, partly because her nerves were frayed. The hand became slack, lifting the pressure over her clavicle and Sakura used the chance to crawl closer to her teammate. With trembling hands, she slowly removed Sasuke’s own hands from his face, which they were clutching even in unconsciousness.

Next to her, Itachi took in a sharp breath, but Sakura barely heard it over the frantic pounding of her own heart. She felt bile rise into her mouth and she almost puked over Sasuke, horror clogging her throat as she gazed upon her teammate.

  
  


His eyes were gone.

  
  


**23** **rd** **July, 22:15 (a little over an hour later)**

  
  


This time, all faces were extremely grim as the members of the War Council gathered around their wooden meeting table. Hiruzen’s countenance appeared made of stone as he listened to the accusations being thrown around. The bearer of the awful news had been Danzo, as per their agreement, and now Hiruzen watched as the other man weathered the shouts and criticism with a stoic expression on his face. He could’ve sworn that Danzo hadn’t moved a muscle in over five minutes.

“What do you mean his eyes have been stolen?!”

“Such incompetence!”

“Are you trying to tell me that we’ve lost the sharingan?!”

“They haven’t caught the perpetrator? Are you serious?”

“This is inadmissible!”

It was then that Danzo’s cane banged against the floor, bringing the room to immediate silence.

Calm and cold, the elder turned toward Hiruzen.

“If I may interrupt,” he said slowly, “I propose we move on to matters of actual relevance rather than empty accusations. What’s done is done; now the ball is in our court and we must respond.” His gaze bored into Hiruzen. “This is why I am hereby submitting a formal complaint in regards to lieutenant commander Itona Takenaka, who has been deemed unable to properly fulfill the requirements of his position, more so in our current and dire circumstances. As you can see, the paperwork checks out.” This said, Danzo produced a humongous stack of papers, which he then wordlessly pushed toward the hokage’s end of the table. “You may read it if you wish, but as I said, it’s all in order. And that means: we must pick a new lieutenant commander.”

The room broke out into whispers – no doubt all present had realized what this move was: a check mate of the highest order.

Or at least, that’s what they thought.

What they didn’t know, however, was that Hiruzen had already been aware of Danzo’s intentions to get Takenaka fired, or that Danzo knew that he knew… or the fact that they’d already discussed the matter and had agreed upon this very course of action. What they didn’t know was that this very meeting was but an empty formality, a puppet show where their very action would be directed by a string.

And so, as per his script, Hiruzen looked through Danzo’s complaint and pretended to be surprised by the legal loophole which had backed Takenaka into a corner. He then gave a speech about what a lieutenant commander should be like, stating that, such as the situation was, it was imperative that their commander be competent and able and a number of other redundant things. His speech could be interpreted either as in support of Danzo’s actions or against them, which was exactly his intention.

Transparency was not something he could currently afford himself – not when the situation was so complex, and not until Takenaka had left the room, at the very least – because after the night’s events, Hiruzen had been forced to admit that Danzo’s claim in regards to Takenaka possibly being a spy didn’t sound that far-fetched at all anymore. How else would Sasuke’s aggressor have known where to find him after the increased security? How else would he have known about the guard’s shift changes? Something didn’t check out, and that something was by all accounts Takenaka. However, the prospect of choosing a new lieutenant commander now of all times was still very daunting – more so with the very real possibility that it would end up being a Danzo supporter. And yet, there was one thing which neither Hiruzen nor Danzo had factored into the equation – or rather, one someone – namely, Aburame Shiki.

  
  


Unlike everyone else involved in the “Firing Takenaka Operation”, Aburame Shiki was a simple man with no delusions of grandeur nor an interest in power or politics. And yet, the normally passive ninja had, for reasons unknown, thrown himself into the world of legal loopholes with a vigor that had completely blindsided everyone. It had been him that had found the key to firing Takenaka, though it had become apparent that his motivations were not of an ambitious nature, just as it had become apparent that Shiki would not let himself be manipulated by anyone, neither Danzo nor Hiruzen nor their political agendas.

Truthfully, Hiruzen privately thought that this was the only silver lining of a bad situation, because Shiki may not be on his side, but neither was he on Danzo’s. The man was a wildcard, a seasoned ANBU, and, though he had his quirks, he had good judgment. That was already a step up from some of Danzo’s other candidates.

Not to mention, now wasn’t the time to be picky. Hiruzen was very aware that, after tonight’s theft of the sharingan, chances were he’d lose all of his political backing to Danzo – he was between a rock and a hard place. It wasn’t even about the Sasuke situation anymore, he just couldn’t afford to have a lieutenant commander that favored Danzo. It was a huge problem.

As such, he had considered appointing Kakashi for the position. Kakashi was his man, Kakashi he trusted implicitly. Unfortunately, Danzo would never agree to back Kakashi for the position, which was made easier by the fact that he still hadn’t returned from the mission he’d been sent on – an neither had the ROOT commander – so Hiruzen couldn’t pick him as a replacement, not unless the man appeared, but the meeting couldn’t be postponed. He truly was between a rock and a hard place… and as such, Hiruzen found that Aburame Shiki was the next best choice. He at least could count on the man’s integrity and disinterest in power, if nothing else.

  
  


  
  
  
  


**23** **rd** **August, 20:55 (about half an hour earlier)**

Sakura stood in Sasuke’s now empty apartment and stared at the wall.

Besides for the loss of his eyes, he’d had wounds which had bled sluggishly, and, though none were life-threatening, one of them had required first aid. Itachi at least had seemed to be more present upon realizing this, but his hands had shaken so badly that he’d been completely unable to find and retrieve the scroll containing bandages.

Since they couldn’t wait, Sakura had been forced to use her painstakingly sewn kerchief as a makeshift bandage. A few moments later, Itachi had wordlessly taken off with Sasuke in his arms – presumably to the hospital.

And now here Sakura was, alone in the empty, dark apartment. Alone, frightened to death and…

There was a noise.

Her eyes widened.

She was not alone.

  
  


**23** **rd** **August, War Council**

Minutes passed by in which Hiruzen listened with half an ear to the proceedings, the other half of his brain plagued with uneasy musings. Takenaka’s termination was talked about, and, after a continuous back and forth of legal jargon-plagued questions which Danzo breezed through with frightening ease, the moment of truth came: Takenaka was relieved of his post as lieutenant commander and told to vacate the room… just like that. Hiruzen pretended to feel bad for the man, even though he inwardly wished he could stab the traitor with a kunai. Meanwhile, Danzo appeared indifferent as he read out a list of names containing the possible candidates who might relieve Takenaka of his post. Then came the election.

Needless to say, it was a hoax – Hiruzen and Danzo had already negotiated the outcome beforehand. Aburame Shiki, they’d decided, offered an acceptable consensus between them, a middle point so to speak, not to mention that agreeing upon a candidate beforehand would avoid disparity within the council, which was the last thing they needed in emergency situations. Picking him had perhaps been the fastest Hiruzen and Danzo had managed to agree with one another ever (though they’d been on a time crunch).

And so, the tedious election process took place, by the end of which, after much caredul manipulation, Aburame Shiki was chosen as the new lieutenant commander. Henceforth, Hiruzen ordered one of his ANBU to go fetch the man, like all of this hadn’t already been agreed upon, and subsequently watched as once more the room descended into chaotic whispers.

Across from him, Danzo was the only other person who looked collected. Hiruzen knew from experience that the calmer Danzo looked, the less at ease he actually was. As surprising as that may sound, at his core, Danzo was a naturally expressive person, and though he had curved that expressiveness over the years, sometimes it came back when he felt secure. In other words, as much as it annoyed Hiruzen when the elder made jabs at him or threw around those lovely prissy remarks of his, that was usually a good sign.

When he was quiet, on the other hand… then one had to worry. And if Danzo ever acted mild-mannered, well… Hiruzen had only experienced that once in all of his years, and, suffice it to say, a mild-mannered Danzo was akin to a death omen.

Hiruzen studied him from across the table. He currently wasn’t at the mild-mannered stage, thank god, but earlier he had showcased an unfailing politeness which almost bordered on pleasant as he dished out legal jargon terms left and right in a way that had more than one person staring perplexed. In Hiruzen’s humble opinion, Danzo had either found a secret passion for being a lawyer, or he was very, very stressed.

He wondered… was Danzo second-guessing himself right then? As though hearing his thoughts, Danzo’s eye flickered toward him across the table. They held each other’s gaze for a few minutes, Danzo in his ominous ‘calm mode’, Hiruzen stoic as a stone. Then they simultaneously looked away, toward the ardently whispering members of the War Coucil.

Most of them, predictably, seemed to have no clue about who Aburame Shiki even was.

Also predictably, most of them had turned to the Aburame clan head, Shigeru Aburame, and had subtly started questioning him about ‘this Shiki fellow’. They had all voted for him (the vote was open, so they’d just followed their factions’ lead) but none knew who he was.

  
  
  
  
  
  


Upon hearing the sudden noise, Sakura momentarily froze. She looked around herself, around the darkened room, trying to spot any exits. She saw only one: the door. But that was where the sound had come from… she felt reluctant to go anywhere near it.

 _But what if it’s just some random noise?_ she thought. Her nerve-addled brain could’ve imagined it – that happened sometimes – or it could’ve been made by one of the neighbors downstairs…

Nevertheless, Sakura remained rooted to the spot, her gaze paralyzed upon the door. Before she even knew what she was doing, she was straining her senses in search for another person’s chakra. Nothing. There was nothing there. She couldn’t feel any other chakra signatures around her at all, nowhere even close. And yet…

It was then that she heard it again. That noise.

She froze as her stomach sunk a mile a minute. Now she knew for sure: she hadn’t imagined it; she wasn’t alone. Once again she heard it; the sound of a creaking floorboard… then again, and again.

Creak.

Creak.

The footsteps were coming closer.

It suddenly dawned on her that this was real. This wasn’t a training exercise or even a mission with her team; she was all alone – and she was in danger. She had to move or she would die. Kakashi-sensei, Sasuke, Itachi… none of them were there. She had to move.

Frantically, Sakura cast another desperate glance around the room, and this time she miraculously spotted one more exit: a window. It was covered by a curtain that concealed it almost too neatly, and Sakura was sure in that moment that Sasuke’s aggressor had drawn it on purpose. She hurried toward the window and, trying to be as noiseless as possible, looked it over for a latch to open it.

She fumbled around in the dark as the footsteps drew closer and closer. The latch wouldn’t budge, or maybe it was the fault of her trembling fingers, but the window just wouldn’t open. She started to yank on it aggressively, heedless of the noise she was making, her heartbeat frantic in her rib cage.

The footsteps stopped and Sakura imagined the person outside cocking their head to the side. Then they resumed their unhurried trek down the hallway, right toward her. She yanked again and again, the windowpane rattled. It was then that she saw it – a seal, right beneath the latch. She knew immediately what it was – a lock. She was trapped and with no escape. Sakura ran towards the door and shoved a chair underneath the handle. Then she ran back and tried to force the window. It was impossible. The footsteps stopped – the person had made it to the door. Sakura hyperventilated so loudly, she was sure they must hear it. The door handle clicked.

Up and down, up and down.

They’d noticed the chair, which was moving precariously. It would give away soon. In her desperation, she thoughtlessly channeled chakra to her leg and kicked the glass. The window shattered partially; shards glowed in the night as they flew across the street. However, the crack wansn’t big enough for Sakura to fit through.

The chair was rattling so much, it was seconds away from giving out. In full blown panic, Sakura grabbed the window and yanked on the glass, cracking it again and again with bleeding hands.

The chair fell to the side. Finally, she could fit through the window. The door’s hinges creaked as it opened. Sakura balanced precariously upon the window contorting her body around the glass. Her position forced her to look back and then she saw: upon the door swell, there now stood a man. He was tall and pale, with long black hair and cat-like eyes, and he was smiling at her.

  
  


He pounced.

She fled.

  
  
  


Sasuke’s apartment was too high up to risk falling off its window, so Sakura went the other route. Her feet clung to its outer walls as she sprinted up, up, up, toward the rooftop, far away from there. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw movement behind her. Was it the man chasing her? It must be. She ran harder.

In a matter of seconds she’d made it to the rooftop. Sakura felt more than saw him right behind her by the prickling at the back of her neck. He was onto her! Terrified, she took a frantic turn and sped across the rooftop. When she got to the following precipice, she jumped. So did her pursuer.

She landed on the next rooftop, but even as she was in midair, she could sense that he was about to catch up. Half out of instinct, half out of sensing him, Sakura performed one of the maneuvers Itachi had taught her and managed to change course mid jump – and just in time, too, for something sizzled past her next second. It was a sword, and it’d have beheaded her.

But that barely registered. She had to keep moving (or falling) and in the blink of an eye, Sakura had crash-landed on a rooftop, her sandals ripping noisily against the tiles as she skidded down, tiles downright breaking off and springing up behind her. They made for unwittingly dangerous projectiles, which perhaps held off her pursuer for a little longer, long enough for her to stay alive.

But then she lost her concentration and next second, Sakura was free-falling into the street. And yet, she felt calm as she fell. Or better yet, she didn’t feel anything. She was all action. Her eyes fixed on the ground, where she could see a shadow closing in on her own faster and faster– she felt a breeze at the back of her neck– and barely _just_ managed to veer off course by clinging to a light cable with her feet. Holding on was almost impossible, but somehow she did, gyrating upon it by virtue of perfect chakra control and using her momentum to swerve off course yet again, her life intact.

Like a wild corkscrew, Sakura rotated upon the cable, sliding down with sparks flying in her wake, tumbling in increasingly tighter spirals, until finally she let go and careened across the street at breakneck speed. Thanks to yet another of Itachi’s maneuvers, she managed to bring her fall into control and, by virtue of bouncing against things with her chakra armor, landed intact upon another rooftop. And yet… it wasn’t enough.

Before she could recover from the recoil, he’d caught up. The man was standing before her.

Sakura didn’t know him, she’d never seen his face before, but something in the back of her mind recognized him.

“Hello there, little girl,” he said lowly. “How lovely to meet you again.”

Sakura stared at him in mute horror. Something about him was just… terrifying.

“Who… who are you?” she stuttered out.

“Hm? Oh, no one too interesting, I assure you,” he said with a smile. “Just Orochimaru will do.”

Sakura blanched, taking a step back. “Th-the sannin?”

“Hm, that’s by far one of my less interesting accolades,” Orochimaru mused.

Ice spread through her veins.

“G-go away,” Sakura cried.

“Tut, tut. That’s not polite at all, little girl. Didn’t your parents teach you manners?”

“Give Sasuke’s eyes back!” she screeched.

“Hmm? Perhaps I will, if you give me yours.” He waited a beat. “No? Well more’s the pity. I do so enjoy your coloring.”

“L-leave me alone.”

“I can do that,” Orochimaru acknowledged. “But that’s so boring. A boring result for boring people. And you’re not boring at all, are you, little girl?” He advanced towards her, and suddenly his chakra expanded. Sakura backpedaled until she was on the edge of the rooftop. It was huge and ominous, malignant and wicked. She wished that she couldn’t sense it, trying to concentrate on finding other, different chakra signatures instead; flaring her own continuously in a frantic call for help.

_S! O! S! O! S!_

“Oh, yes, that’s it,” Orochimaru said, clapping. “My, my. Not boring indeed. Wherever did you learn how to sense chakra, little girl?” Sakura kept her mouth firmly shut, but Orochimaru didn’t seem to mind. “What amazing control you have,” he continued, his words poisoned honey. “Pity, that. One does have to wonder… how is it that an inconsequential little civilian like you has learned all of these advanced skills, hm?”

Sakura ignored him and focused on flaring her chakra. If only she could flag someone down… if only…

“Alas, it is a mystery that will remain unsolved,” Orochimaru concluded. “Unless… you’d like to enlighten me before I gut you?”

Sakura recoiled in horror. “Wh- what kind of a question is that?!”

“No need to snap. It was just a question.”

“You won’t kill me!” Sakura screeched, so far past the point of fear that she was approaching temerity.

“Oh? And why is that?”

“Ha! Because the ANBU will come soon and kick your ass! I’ve already signaled to them while you were busy mouthing off, you creepy sicko!”

And yet, her triumph was short-lived.

“Is that so? And prey tell, little girl, which ANBU are you talking about, exactly? No one is here.”

Sakura felt a chill run down her spine. She couldn’t sense a soul.

“You don’t know that,” she snapped. “You’re lying.”

“Am I?” pondered Orochimaru. “Perhaps. Or perhaps not.” He gestured beyond the rooftop with a movement of his wrist and Sakura hesitantly turned to look. She could sense that he didn’t want her dead yet. “What do you see?”

She gulped. “A… a street?”

Orochimaru chuckled. “I should rephrase… what do you not see?”

Sakura’s eyes widened. “There… there’s no one there. It’s empty.”

She paused with horror to take it in. It shouldn’t be empty. It should be bustling with life – merchants, party-goers, friends, shinobi… and yet, there was no one. No one to turn to. She was alone.

“Quite so. No one will come for you, little girl. There’s only you… and me.” He smiled as he retrieved a kunai. “Isn’t that nice?”

Why wasn’t anyone there? Why was the village empty? There were supposed to be people! Hundreds of people! Were they all dead?! Where were they? Sakura wished she could curl into a ball until she woke up from this nightmare, but she was too scared that it was real to try.

“Where is everyone?!”

“Evidently not here, little girl.”

“What did you do to them? Tell me!”

“Maybe I killed them.” He giggled. “Or maybe not.” He turned away suddenly, full on facing Sakura. His lips curled into a smile. “Well? Any last words you wish me to pass on?”

Sakura took a step back and stumbled, catching herself only with chakra. One more step and she’d have fallen off the rooftop. Orochimaru’s eyes fitted down to her painted toenails, then back up.

“Do be careful. You’ll end up killing yourself before I can.”

“Leave me alone!” she shouted. “I didn’t do anything to you! Go away!”

“Didn’t do anything?” Orochimaru repeated, his eyes gleaming.

“It’s true! I was just at the wrong place at the wrong time! I won’t tell anyone I saw you! Please! Don’t hurt me!”

“You lie, little girl. You _lie_. You have sabotaged me, you have killed my beloved Manda, I will shred you to bits!”

And then he began to slowly walk toward her, his eyes an omen of death.

A paralized Sakura found that she couldn’t even move. She had felt killing intent before, but what she felt in that instant made even Zabuza seem like a joke. A drive like steel, an all-encompassing aura, eyes that bore into her very soul… in those eyes she saw her death. She saw him gouge Sasuke’s eyes out, she saw him take her own to match his collection. She saw delight. Giddiness. A thirst for blood. She watched as he peeled off her own skin and slathered it over the hokage monument and she didn’t doubt for a second that he wouldn’t do it. She saw him chop off her fingers, she saw her nails pop off one by one, clink, clink, she saw as her brain exited through her own nose by his hand…

Sakura closed her eyes.

No, no more of this. She was hyperventilating, she was coming undone. Her knees buckled, her throat clogged, her bowels lost control.

The killing intent grew more and more, and none of it went away as she closed her eyes. She heard Orochimaru take a step, then another, she could feel his breath, quiet as hers was loud, heard him pull out a weapon, these were her last moments –

Sakura opened her eyes and fixed them on his. If he was going to kill her, she’d damn well stare at him straight in the eye. She’d die a weakling, but she wouldn’t die a coward.

  
  


Only… he stopped. His eyes wide, Orochimaru had frozen in his tracks, staring right back at Sakura. It was only seconds later that she realized – he was staring at something behind her. And then she heard a swooshing noise and turned. What seemed like thousands upon thousands of crows descended upon them at once. Looking around she saw them everywhere, like a black, murderous whirlwind, like the wrath of the gods upon them they thundered down from the skies, screeching in ungodly tones as they spun and spun around Orochimaru and Sakura, around Sakura and Orochimaru. Caw, caw, caw, they went, talons spread, beaks clacking, wings beating. Within the typhoon, one lone crow broke apart from the rest; black as the night and with a scar on its beak. Shi-chan…

Sakura felt his reassuring weight as he dropped upon her shoulder.

Standing in front of her frozen was Orochimaru. His cat-like eyes were fixed upon Shi-chan, his faze curiously blank; he’d gone still as a stone.

“Go away, viper. She’s one of ours.”

Shi-chan spoke in a gravelly voice, and suddenly Orochimaru jolted, his eyes widening even more before he looked away hastily. Sakura had no time to chance a glance at Shi-chan to find out why, for without prompt the crow bit her earlobe. The rest of his kin jolted into action as though he’d given a command, and Sakura knew instinctively that he had commanded her too, to move, to run while she could. And so she did.

Heedless of height or how dangerous a jump might seem, she bolted out of there. However, it was like a nightmare that never ended. As much as she ran, the darkness was always before her. The streets were just as empty, just as dead. There were no lights, no people, no life in sight. Driven by desperation, Sakura pushed her body to its limits, but no matter the distance she put behind her, nothing changed. She felt like she wasn’t running at all. And that’s when it came to her. A nightmare… was this a genjutsu? She almost discarded the idea immediately; she had a lot of experience breaking Kakashi’s genjutsu and they felt different. There were always subtle differences that would give it away, but this one, this was just so drastic, so huge. This nightmare, this was all encompassing. It didn’t just affect just one sense the way other genjutsu she’d been under did. This was real.

But the nightmare wasn’t stopping and Sakura thought ‘screw it’ and used the strongest kai she’d ever had. And then, before her very eyes, there was a flicker within the darkness, like some sort of glitch… and she knew right then: she’d been right. This _was_ a genjutsu.

But how could it be that just one kai hadn’t been enough? Sakura didn’t have time to think about the theoretic implications of this, she simply went with the brute force method and cast one kai after another, sending her chakra network into a tizzy. She felt disoriented from the constant fluctuations within her system and senses, but she didn’t give up. She wasn’t a genjutsu type for nothing, damnit!

‘ _KAIIIII!!!_ ’

And then, finally, finally, the illusion broke and Sakura was free.

The darkness broke into noise and life, streets erupting with chatter and lights everywhere, people laughing, people eating, and the faces of the hokage proudly looking on. Sakura smiled so hard it hurt, resisting the urge to scream into the sky. She had done it. She was free! But her happiness was short-lived. For behind her, she noticed an entire collective of snakes giving chase. 

Something in her clicked, the aftertaste of death, the phantom memory of a gullet as seen from the inside, of mustard yellow eyes which spelled murder, of scales and she completely lost it. She had to get away from them. They must be Orochimaru’s.

Sakura knew she wasn’t supposed to use the shunshin yet. No one used it in combat situations and for good reason. The danger of accidentally running into an obstacle or a projectile at mortal speeds was too great, but right then, Sakura didn’t see another way out. 

Ram.

Oax.

Boar.

Tiger.

Go!!

Without looking back again, she flew over the rooftops, so fast she couldn’t even see where she was going. It was only thanks to a combination of all her training, immense luck and her photographic memory that Sakura kept from running into a building. Going faster and faster with every push of her feet, legs and chakra, she vaulted over streets and houses, practically _flying_ over the rooftops as crows going in the opposite direction sizzled past her like black blurs. 

  
  


Going on pure instinct, Sakura’s feet took her through front-porches and across lawns until she’d made it to the civilian district… until she was at Yuna’s.

“We’re closed for tod – girlie?”

If the cat-lady was put off by Sakura’s sudden appearance (or smell), she didn’t ask. If she was confused over the dozens of crows that had randomly alighted just outside of the shop (or the one perched upon Sakura’s head) she didn’t ask either. Sakura was thinking woozily that Yuna had a great poker face indeed when the old woman grabbed her hands and squeezed them reassuringly, then let go and disappeared into an adjacent room. It was then that Sakura realized that her hands were shaking uncontrollably, almost as though she’d overexerted herself. It was a strange sensation, watching them shake, unable to stop it. A few moments later, Yuna returned with two warm mugs of tea. Somehow, the sight of them broke something in her, and Sakura threw her arms over the old woman’s torso and started sobbing.

“There, there, girl. C’mere. We’ll get you cleaned up good, then you’ll feel loads better. I’ll fix your hands, too… Shhh… yes, now breathe with me…”

The crows continued their silent vigil unhindered.

  
  
  
  
  
  


Danzo Shimura was standing in a conference room, his face livid. Before him was Rio, who crouched deferentially on her knees.

“I’m truly sorry, Danzo-sama. Hatake and I were forced to wait in a closet for eight hours until they lost suspicion–”

Danzo did not respond.

“We have managed to ascertain via the sharingan that the Ichibi truly is here. More, while in the closet, we eavesdropped upon a…”

Finally, Danzo spoke. “Yes?”

“…a conversation between the teenage siblings of the jinchuriki. They seemed to be aware of the invasion plot.”

Danzo jolted. “What?!”

“ _Yes_.”

“And why didn’t you mention this sooner?!”

“You kept interrupting me and asking me where I was while Sasuke-san’s sharingan was stolen.”

Danzo clenched his cane. “You mean to tell me that sand is in on this?”

“That seems to be the case… however, both siblings, Kankuro and Temari, expressed a certain distaste for the plot.”

Danzo stopped his frantic tapping. “What?”

“Yes. They appeared to have grown somewhat attached to some of the candidates they had been tested with during the second stage.”

“What?”

“Yes, apparently the fruits of Hatake-san’s very teamwork oriented test, meant to build bonds and strengthen unity–”

“He told you that?”

“…yes.”

“Then spare me the details. I know the story.”

“Well, as I was saying, Kankuro and Temari didn’t seem entirely onboard with it, at least not very open to the idea of killing those they’d already befriended.”

“You know this how?”

“Hatake-san thought so.”

“And he knows this how?!”

“He supervised the exam and was able to see all of the candidates interact.”

“God damn!” Danzo exclaimed, making Rio jolt. “Did it have to be Hatake? Why is it always him?!”

“Danzo-sama, do you need a breather? I could bring you some lemonade, not the poisoned one, mind–”

“I do not need lemonade!” 

“Right, sorry. My mistake,” Río said. “Anyway,” she tried to change the topic. “I have heard of the sharingan theft,” Rio ventured carefully. “I see why that would be concerning, more because of the asset Orochimaru has gained, but Danzo-sama, the sharingan is still in our possession. Hatake-san is very apt, and do you not also have–”

“This is not what concerns me.”

Rio blinked. “Huh?”

“Orochimaru will likely need time to properly transplant the sharingan. You and I know how hard that is. He has a considerable chance of managing it, but not quickly enough for the invasion.”

“Then what’s the problem?”

“The problem,” said Danzo ominously, “is Uchiha Itachi.”

“Sasuke’s… brother,” said Rio blankly.

“What,” Danzo continued, “do you know about Itachi, Rio?”

She thought for a moment. “He is a formidable combatant, though he favors strategy and avoids confrontation if possible. His specializes in–”

“Irrelevant.”

“Uh. I’m sorry?”

“What do you know of Uchiha Itachi – the person? The brain behind the brawn?”

“I…” Rio trailed off. “He’s… I don't understand him.”

“Eloquent.”

“I mean, it’s true. Back then, you gave him the choice, you gave him a scapegoat – and yet he chose to take the blame himself, to ruin his own name and reputation. He could’ve stayed here, taking care of his brother, and yet – he left in dishonor. I don’t understand.”

“No one truly does, perhaps not even himself,” Danzo agreed. “It’s true that when we delivered Sasuke to him that day, we gave Itachi instructions to put him under a genjutsu of his choice to explain the events of the massacre to him. But did he really have a choice? I think that in Itachi’s mind, taking into account how he was raised, what kind of person he was… I believe he didn’t see it that way. He didn’t feel like he had a choice. When I gave him instructions to place the blame elsewhere, I knew that his choices were limited by his conscience – he’d have never placed the blame upon another country or village in fear of starting a war – but even I hadn’t imagined he’d choose to blame himself. Few things could’ve been believable, but no one had seen him, so he was at liberty to invent a fictitious enemy that had slain the Uchiha. I never would’ve dreamed he’d choose to incriminate himself. In hindsight… I should’ve known. To this day, that miscalculation was one of my greater mistakes.”

"But why would he do that? I still don't understand what his aim was... incriminating himself... he wasn't helping anybody."

“It's... complicated, I suppose.” Pause. “I believe he felt guilty,” Danzo said, after a long exhale. “He felt so guilty, he wanted to die.”

“He could've taken his life that day," said Río quietly. "Instead he chose to take on a burden that was too much for anyone, never mind a thirteen year old. If he really was so done with life, he'd have killed himself, yet he didn't. Why didn't he? I don't understand.”

“Why didn't you kill yourself back when things were hard?" Danzo asked retorically. Río stayed silence, and so he continued to speak. "Itachi is a person with a very strong sense of duty. Duty towards the village, duty toward his clan, duty towards his brother. Had he killed himself, he’d have taken away the last of the Uchiha’s honor and his brother would’ve been marked a target.”

“Sasuke is a target regardless of his death.”

“Yes, but alive, Itachi can do something about that, yes?”

Rio nodded slowly. "I think I understand. By staying alive, by making himself a goal for Sasuke to reach – revenge – he was giving his brother a very strong motivator to keep him going. Stronger, perhaps, than anything else he could’ve done. Had he stayed in the village, Itachi might not have been able to survive any number of missions, and that would’ve broken his brother, psychologically speaking."

"Exactly," said Danzo. "On the other hand, by removing himself from the equation, he was, in a sense, protecting Sasuke from that possible pain. He was forcing him into a single-minded pursuit of power, which, in the long run, would do wonders to keep him alive. Should Itachi’s plans come into fruition, I suspect his end goal has always been for Sasuke to defeat him, completing his revenge, taking Itachi’s eyes and status, and cleansing the clan’s honor.”

“That’s…” Rio frowned. “There are so many holes in that reasoning, it's so sad that he would choose such a thing. Ooof. Idiot! Why couldn't he have done the normal thing and blamed mist or something?”

Danzo’s lip quirked. “He was thirteen at the time of making this decision, traumatized for life and probably on the verge of a nervous break-down. And to answer your question, no, Itachi may not be stupid, but he is not particularly skilled at navigating human emotions, be it his own – or others’. I admit, at first I had believed his story of wanting to become a spy for the Akatsuki as an euphemism for suicide.”

“But that’s...” Rio said with wide eyes. 

“I know,” Danzo said. “But I owed him at least that, don’t you think?”

Rio was silent.

“Imagine my surprise,” Danzo continued, “when Itachi reappeared after half a year of no signs of life nor sightings, still loyal and very much alive.”

“It’s more than you could’ve realistically expected of anyone,” Rio admitted quietly. “At least, outside of Root.”

“It is,” Danzo agreed. “He’s a very strong person.”

“But you think his brother’s sharingan being stolen might be the nail in the coffin.”

“Well… what I believe to be Uchiha Itachi’s true motivations are only conjecture,” Danzo said. “But if I’m not mistaken and he truly intended for Sasuke to eventually take his revenge against him, if Sasuke’s continued survival is truly what had him getting up in the morning day after day…”

“Then the loss of the sharingan might be the final push.”

“Yes, that is what I fear. Sasuke may still be alive, but he cannot realistically ever get his revenge without the sharingan.”

“What about the eyes obtained back then? Couldn’t we give him a pair?”

“They are surgically attached and cannot be removed functionally,” Danzo said crossly. “Not to mention how everyone would react if they knew I have them. My chances at ever making hokage would be doomed. And before you ask, yes, Hatake and Itachi have both already offered their own eyes up.”

“And?”

“Itachi’s are a no, for obvious reasons. If there was a transplant, everyone would know whose eyes they were, including Sasuke.”

“And Kakashi’s?” Río asked apprehensively.

Danzo raised an inquisitive brow at her question, but answered nonetheless. “Like Itachi’s, his eye is that of an adult. Sasuke would have to wait a few years to receive a transplant, and even then, I’m uncomfortable with the notion. To be quite frank, I believe the sharingan is in much better hands with Hatake, though you didn’t hear that from me.”

“Not a word.” Rio said, looking pleased. “So… what do we do then?”

“We make sure Itachi’s only tie to this village stays alive, no matter how many ANBU we have to assign to the brat,” Danzo decreed decisively. “Trust me, we do not want Itachi as an enemy. As it is, I get the feeling that he hates me – and I’d rather not take my chances against him.”

“Nor would I. By the way, Danzo-sama…” Río said hesitantly. “He will be very insistent upon letting him be a part of Sasuke’s guard.”

Danzo rose a brow. “Oh?”

“As well as Kakashi,” Río added. “Uchiha Itachi doesn’t trust us, you know that. If we’re going to do this, he’s going to want Kakashi to be on the shift he can’t be on.”

“ _Hatake_?” Danzo sneered. “I might let Itachi on there, but Hatake? Not a chance.”

“I understand your reservations, Danzo-sama,” Río said. “But having Hatake as a guard might just be beneficial for you. After all, that’s one less agent we have to dispense for guard duty. And you know he’s up to Root standards.”

“That may be so,” Danzo acknowledged. “But why would I even want to assign him to the guard duty roster?” 

Río met his gaze, her head cocked. “And why not?” 

Danzo seemed to think about it for a while. “You’ve gone on a mission with Hatake recently,” he observed.

Río paused, raising a brow as if to say ‘your point being...?’

Danzo frowned and regarded her disapprovingly, until Río lost her patience.

“Look,” she said. “Hatake being there? It keeps _him_ happy and out of your hair, it will keep _Uchiha Itachi_ happy and out of your hair, and it keeps _you_ happy because you get to save yourself a major toothache, plus some manpower. So,” she repeated, “why not? My logic is sound.”

“Oh, for the love of… _fine_.” Danzo paused and gave her a look which revealed just how much that annoyed him. “But Hatake better stay out of my way for at least half a year after this.”

Rio nodded, lips quirking minutely. “As you say, Danzo-sama.”

  
  


Jiraiya was shuffling through the dank hospital corridors at three a.m., his shoulders hunched, his brow furrowed, and with such a downtrodden gait he’d swear up and down that it wasn’t him walking like that – like a beaten, bruised old man, worn down by responsibilities and guilt and mistakes.

He thought of Kakashi. That was one of them – a source of guilt and regrets and failed responsibility he’d been carrying practically for as long as the boy lived. The man, he had to remind himself sometimes – he’s already an adult.

Just a minute ago, he’d been trying to get through to him, but Kakashi, who had been attempting to visit Sasuke (as of yet, unsuccessfully), had coldly brushed him off, not intentionally so, Jiraiya knew, but coming over as cold and detached nevertheless. Knowing the man, his focus was most likely split between getting clearance to enter Sasuke’s ward and his own ghosts and mistakes.

As an author, Jiraiya prided himself on his ability to understand other people’s characters. As the man who had known Kakashi from when he was still in diapers, who had endured Hatake Sakumo’s drunken rants about his talented baby boy, who had listened to Minato’s own bragging that his star student had made jonin at thirteen, take that, sensei!, Jiraiya was aware that he knew Kakashi better than the man would most likely ever suspect. He had been connected to him through his friendship to Kakashi’s parents, and later, through his bond to Minato, who had fit into the father role almost seamlessly after Sakumo had passed. Ten years later, Minato had followed him into death, the last in a long list of those Kakashi had lost.

And Jiraiya knew that no one – least of all Kakashi – had expected him to, but he felt guilty for not stepping up back then. He felt guilty for not being there at the very least… there enough, to tell stupid jokes that would’ve made Kakashi scoff during those dark days, but would perhaps have distracted him from his grief, even just a little. And yet, despite what the general consensus might say, Jiraiya was a coward. He could never be brave where it truly mattered – not with Kakashi, not with his own godson, and not regarding his true feelings toward a certain blonde. He could never step up.

He hadn’t even been there during the points in Kakashi’s life when he’d lost the most, when he’d needed comfort the most. Without fail, like a cruel joke, Jiraiya had always been out of the village at those times. When he had returned to Konoha months later to the news that Kakashi’s teammates, his sensei, the most important people in his life, had died, it had always been long after the fact; Kakashi’s grief had frozen over, buried deep in a place where Jiraiya could not reach. And Jiraiya had been too much of a chicken to do anything but tell stupid jokes and shower Kakashi with special editions of his stupid books.

He knew of Kakashi’s attachment to them, running to a degree that wasn’t normal. He’d never been sure whether the Icha Icha obsession was a form of escapism, or perhaps a w was sure it wasn’t for his sake that Kakashi clung to the books. He was just a passing acquaintance to the jonin, just an admired author who tended to follow him around the village and insisted of remembering Obito, who had enjoyed the series as a form of teenage rebellion (as well as to piss Kakashi off). Or perhaps he read them in reminiscence of Minato, who had proof-read the saga on occasion, permanently on a crusade to get Jiraiya to ‘write less debaucherous things, sensei, Kushina refuses to name you godfather unless you write at least one morally sound book’. In any case, Jiraiya was sure it wasn’t for his sake that Kakashi clung to the books. He was just a passing acquaintance to the jonin, just an admired author who tended to follow him around the village and insisted on clowning about whenever in Konoha.

Once again, Jiraiya felt guilty for not being there for him – except this time he was. This time, tragedy had struck, yes, but this time Jiraiya was around to comfort Kakashi. Except… he was a grown ass man now. The time for comforting words and hugs had passed. Were they even friends enough for Jiraiya to do anything but give a comforting pat on the back? What would he even say to Kakashi? ‘It wasn’t your fault?’

Pathetic.

Based on what he knew of him, Kakashi must be blaming himself for Sasuke’s condition. Knowing the jonin, it was an additional weight on his back, an additional burden which he’d carry with him for the rest of his life, yet another blemish he couldn’t let go of, yet another set of nigh terrors to keep him awake at night.

And so, though he couldn’t think of anything substantial to tell him, Jiraiya had sought Kakashi out in this dark hour and tried to cheer him up… by offering him a special print edition of Icha-Icha Make Out: Violence as a gift. Predictably, Kakashi hadn’t so much as glanced at the book, nor at Jiraiya’s face, mumbling something about not having time and left him there, standing on the cold hospital hallway.

And Jiraiya had realized what he had already known – Kakashi didn’t want him there right then. He couldn’t be – not after all of these years of absence.

Just as he was blaming himself in his head, he heard voices. It was odd for the late hour, but some sort of commotion must be going on. Glad to take his mind off his troubling thoughts, he rounded the next corner and examined the scene unfolding before him: a pink haired girl was yelling at the head nurse, shouting that she wanted, no, needed to see Sasuke. After a moment’s thought, Jiraiya recognized her as Kakashi’s little genin. He remembered the jonin’s offhand comment about her: that’s Sakura-chan. She has my ninken wrapped around her little finger. It might not seem like much to an average listener, but to Jiraiya, his words were like a bright neon sign, a sign saying that he cared. A sign he hadn’t seen in Kakashi for a long time. Perhaps, if Jiraiya took the girl – Sakura – to him, perhaps she’d succeed where he could not and take Kakashi’s mind off his guilt. The surrounding nurses seemed to be completely against letting her near Sasuke’s ward, and, unlike Kakashi, Sakura didn’t yet seem to have realized the importance of stealth in hospital buildings. Instead of pretending to give up and then sneaking in through a window, she was all outrage:

“I need to see him!” Sakura was yelling. “If you don’t believe I have clearance, then ask the person who brought him here! I know him, he’s my friend! He’ll vouch for me, I promise!”

Jiraiya paused and stared. The person who’d brought Sasuke to the hospital was classified. So classified, in fact, not even he had been told who it was… which in other words, made the girl’s claim very interesting indeed. Mind made up, he made his presence known.

“I’ll handle this,” he said seriously, walking up to the cluster of nurses. He could tell that they recognized him from earlier in the night, so none opposed him as he gestured for Sakura to follow him, only too glad to rid themselves of the rabid girl. Glancing back to make sure she was indeed behind him, Jiraiya quickly took a turn down a deserted hallway.

Sakura pursed her lips and crossed her arms but tagged along. They made it to an empty waiting room, brightly lit and clinical, and Jiraiya took the chance to tiredly plop into a chair. Sakura eyed him warily but followed suit, seating herself gingerly in front of him.

Jiraiya examined her a little more closely this time. Perhaps it was the white light of the room, but Sakura looked very pale, almost sickly in her rickety plastic chair. Her countenance was drawn and chalky white, her eyes hooded, her stance bone tired. He saw bandages wrapped around unsteady fingers and wondered at them. Her outfit was washed out and old-looking, as though haphazardly thrown together, and her posture was hunched, almost meek, the chair almost too large for her. It made for a sad picture, which struck him as odd, considering how she’d stood up to those nurses only moments ago. Something didn’t add up.

“You don’t look too good,” Jiraiya said after a moment. Was it because of worry for Sasuke? Was it something else?

“I want to see my teammate,” Sakura said in lieu of nothing. Despite it all, her voice sounded strong.

“I see.”

“Yes! You have to take me to him! I told you, I’m not an impostor.”

“You said you know the person who brought Sasuke here.”

“I do.”

Jiraiya couldn’t resist his curiosity. “Oh? Then prove it.”

“His name’s Tetsuya, I don’t know his surname but I’m telling the truth, I swear!”

Tetsuya? Jiraiya memorized the name, just in case Sakura wasn’t lying after all.

“And? A name doesn’t prove your acquaintance.”

“But we are! I swear to you, we’re friends. He was there when I found Sasuke in his apartment, and–”

What?!

Jiraiya had only his long years of training to thank for in keeping his composure. She’d found Sasuke? She’d been there? The reports had mentioned nothing of the sort. Just what was going on?

“And what else can you tell me of Tetsuya?” he interrupted impatiently.

“He… he’s a really strong ninja,” Sakura ventured. “ANBU level, probably. He, uh… he’s very good at genjutsu, and, um… chakra control… oh! And he has a summoning contract with crows!”

Had she been watching Jiraiya’s face, she’d have seen the momentarily flicker of surprise and horror that crossed it, and yet, her eyes were fixed on the floor, and so she continued rattling more and more facts about ‘Tetsuya’, more and more damning evidence.

It couldn’t be, could it?

Her description sounded exactly like… he almost couldn’t believe it.

Itachi Uchiha.

But what reason did this girl have to lie like that? To describe him of all people, especially when she clearly didn’t seem to know what she was implying here? And by the looks of it, Itachi Uchiha had helped her, had helped Konoha, had helped Sasuke. It didn’t make sense. He had taken Sasuke to the hospital… Could it be…? Could it be that he was the spy?

Jiraiya almost jolted at the realization. Of course. All the pieces fit now. It must be, it had to be.

He was the spy.

“Do you know,” he asked, barely containing his excitement, “if he’s also sick?”

“Sick?” Sakura parroted.

“Yes. Sick. Ill. Diseased. That.”

Sakura’s face contorted worriedly. “D-diseased? He never mentioned anything like that.”

“Oh.” Jiraiya deflated slightly. He knew it rationally didn’t make sense to feel disappointed, Sakura’s lack of knowledge didn’t mean anything, but…

“Hold on,” she said suddenly. “He was acting weird a while ago. Like something terrible was burdening him.” Her eyes had widened. “Like he was far away, thinking about something that haunted him, but he refused to say what. All this time… is that why? Is he sick? How bad is it?”

She seemed very agitated by this prospect. So was Jiraiya. He didn’t know exactly what was going on, but he was starting to realize that either this girl was a lunatic, or something very, very fishy was going on. Something that had been covered up, perhaps. Something to do with Itachi Uchiha’s sudden ‘psychotic break’. To be honest, Jiraiya had always found that the events surrounding the Uchiha massacre were fishy about at best, but he had put that feeling aside because his sensei had assured him of the contrary… but now? Now, that feeling was returning full force.

As he was thinking this, Sakura, who had already been as pale as a sheet to begin with, was now looking at him agitatedly. Suddenly, she jumped out of her chair and made an aborted attempt to sprint somewhere, but she faltered, wobbling for a few steps, and then passed out.

Reflexively, Jiraiya caught her before she hit her head with something and stared at her in dismay. So his info source was KO. Not to forget, that this mysteriously well-informed civilian girl was also Kakashi’s dear student. For a moment, he could only stare at the girl. She really looked pale, he found. Like she’d gone through an ordeal. Though who wouldn't, with such a horrific thing happening to one’s teammate? Jiraiya himself had passed out when he was younger after extremely stressful situations — most notably that one time when he’d stumbled upon an S-class shinobi from Iwa all alone in the woods and had somehow managed to evade him. He had used up a lot of chakra in his invisibility jutsu, and when he’d finally made it back to his team, he’d flopped down on a rock and passed out immediately. 

Now, looking at this Sakura kid, he was reminded a little bit of that — though of course, she hadn’t just escaped from an S-ranked criminal that was trying to kill her by the skin of her teeth, but the stress factor was still the same. Jiraiya sighed. He didn’t think she needed medical attention, to be honest, just rest. And god knew how horrible hospitals were for that… Maybe he could ask Kakashi to bring her home?

Deciding to do just that, Jiraiya crouched, picking the girl up and subsequently slinging her over his shoulder (wouldn’t do for Kakashi to think he was fondling her or something like that) like a sack of potatoes. 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  


Trying to get himself together, Itachi ambled down the deserted hospital hallway. He had just left his brother’s room, for apparently Kakashi’s shift guarding him was about to start and he couldn’t be allowed to see Itachi. He had been told to get some rest, which might be the best course of action if it weren’t for the fact that he was certain he’d be unable to sleep. Sasuke’s eyeless face was burned into his mind. Suddenly, he felt a chakra signature. It was Sakura’s. He went in that direction.

Then he saw her. She was slung over a strong shinobi’s back like a limp doll. The fact that it was Jiraiya didn’t matter – all alarms had gone off at once in Itachi’s brain. He couldn’t trust anyone. He couldn’t trust that it wasn’t Orochimaru with a disguise. He would only be able to trust that Sakura was safe once she was away from that man. Adrenaline flooded his system as he regarded Sakura’s limp form. Dead. Injured. Kidnapped. Hurt. In danger. The suspicious subject stopped walking and stared at him with wide eyes. Itachi barely registered it. The only thing he registered was that Sakura was in danger, and before he even realized what he was doing, he’d lunged at the sannin, sharingan ablaze, katana drawn, prepared kill if that’s what it took.

  
  
  


Jiraiya had been looking for Kakashi (or at least a nurse or even a bed where he could put the kid), when he felt the whisper of an approaching chakra signature. His grip on Sakura tightened. The chakra signature was barely there, the presence too faint to be even a civilian. No, this was a ninja. An S-class ninja, to be exact. He stared at the corridor where the presence was approaching from. It was odd, however. He could feel the chakra fluctuating, like the person wasn’t paying attention to concealing themselves at all, like it was more a reflex than anything.

This hypothesis was proven by the shuffling sounds that soon accompanied it, like a person dragging their feet groggily. Maybe it was a patient sleep-walking?

The ninja rounded the corner and Jiraiya realized that it was not. Before him, on the other end of the long corridor, stood a lone figure—thin and pale and not particularly threatening-looking… but this changed as soon as their eyes met across the hallway. The previously listless posture went taut like a string in a heartbeat as the person zoned in, all of their razor sharp attention suddenly honing in upon Jiraiya, their chakra exploding into the hallway at once. The dark aura expanded for a moment, oppressively, then compressed and returned to the person, creating a sudden void in the air. The type which only SS-class ninja could leave behind them; an aftertaste of death. Just who was this dude?

Needless to say, Jiraiya felt the hairs on his arms immediately stand up at the malevolent killing intent he felt (dangerous, violent, unhinged) as he looked into the other’s face. 

It was then that Jiraiya realized just who was standing across him. Because black eyes had suddenly bled into red, giving way to spinning tomoe within, and then Uchiha Itachi lunged across the hallway.

There was barely time to do anything; Uchiha Itachi swallowed the distance between them in milliseconds, but Jiraiya was not a sannin in vain. Just on time, he jumped out of the way of a blade, taken aback, but he had no time to process it, for he was immediately forced to dodge again and again. 

Itachi Uchiha gave him no respite in his relentless attack, hacking away at him with the katana. In person, he didn’t seem like the cold man Jiraiya had heard about—he looked completely unhinged; he wasn’t thinking at all. Jiraiya didn’t know whether he was imagining things, but he almost felt like his erratic movements bellied desperation. But that couldn’t be true, could it?

It wasn’t until the fourth time he’d nearly been cut open that the sannin realized that Itachi Uchiha was attempting to get to Sakura. 

Just what the…? The general consensus that Itachi was simply insane seemed all too easy to believe in that moment, but a part of Jiraiya’s mind kept insisting that maybe not all was as it seemed. And so, he took a chance:

“Woah there, stop!” he exclaimed loudly, lifting his hands. Against all predictions, Itachi’s hand stilled mid-strike. 

Jiraiya could tell they weren’t out of the woods yet, for his katana had continued to hover ominously, but at least now he knew that Itachi wasn’t entirely insane. Could it be that Sakura had been telling the truth and Uchiha really was a nice guy?

It was reckless and half suicidal, but Jiraiya decided to take yet another gamble. “Here,” he said, and slowly, cautiously, lifted his hands toward Sakura. Itachi tensed even more. Ever so carefully, Jiraiya lifted the genin from his back and lowered against one of the walls, then stepped back. He prayed he had not made a huge mistake as he watched Itachi approach the girl, lowering himself to the ground, leaning over her–

He put a hand to her neck and Jiraiya was sure he’d snap it, oh god how was he going to tell Kakashi, oh shit shit shit–

but nothing happened. An old clock ticked somewhere, Sakura kept breathing steadily and Itachi’s hand remained on her neck.

It was then Jiraiya realized he was only taking her pulse. The relief he felt in that moment was immense.

“She’s okay, see?” he said, calming down slightly.

Itachi did, clearly. It was like magic: one second the killing intent was immense, all encompassing… and next second none of it was left. In fact, Uchiha Itachi seemed remarkably unconcerned with the situation at hand, now that Jiraiya thought of it. He hadn’t so much as glanced at him for a few minutes now… and well, Jiraiya was a sannin as much as Itachi Uchiha a wanted criminal. Even so, Itachi‘s entire attention seemed to be devoted just to measuring Sakura’s pulse. Jiraiya’s nerves, on the other hand, were frayed.

Meanwhile, Jiraiya’s mind was woeking a mile a minute. Itachi’s lack of concern, the strangeness of the Uchiha massacre, him being in the hospital after his brother was injured, his haggard appearance… it was all pointing to one conclusion.

“So. You’re our man, huh?” he spoke into the silence.

Itachi got up and looked at him, but still didn’t say anything. 

“The spy,” Jiraiya clarified. “You’re the guy who’s been spying on the Akatsuki. You’re the one informing Gamakichi’s contact. Man! I can’t even…” 

Neither confirming nor denying, Itachi completely ignored Jiraiya’s claim; didn’t even look at him. Turning away, he hoisted Sakura up, and, once she was secure in his hold, jumped out of the closest window. 

“Well I’ll be…” Jiraiya stared after him in shock, scratching his head. He wasn’t even sure whether he was meant to follow or not, but he did anyway. He’d be damned if he let his man get away now!

  
  
  


And so, he followed Itachi around Konoha until they made it to the civilian district. It was apparent Itachi had cast some sort of genjutsu on himself to remain undetected, though in the wee hours of the morning, there was barely anyone on the street. Jiraiya grew somewhat alarmed when, as they neared a building, he spotted hundreds of crows crouched literally everywhere around it. He grew even more alarmed at the old woman waiting in front of said building.

“Rasna?!” he exclaimed, shocked. It had been a long time since he’d seen her, a very long time indeed, though even in her age, he’d never mistake that face for someone else.

“It’s Yuna,” said the old woman flippantly.

“Y-you’re alive?!”

“Evidently.”

“And you’re here in Konoha?! Since when??”

“I’ve been here for decades,” she said, inspecting her nails. “Do catch up, Jiraiya.”

With this, she appeared to consider their conversation finished and strode over to Itachi. “Her parents are in a tizzy,” she informed. “You should go in pipsqueak – work your magic before they call the authorities.”

Without further ceremony (or a reply), Itachi marched into the house with Yuna on his heels. A goggle-eyed Jiraiya followed.

Sakura’s parents were similarly goggle-eyed upon the appearance of their strange procession, though they at least seemed to know Itachi. In a manner of moments, they went from ardently protesting against the odd characters in their home, to making them tea.

“You’ve been casting a genjutsu on ‘em, have yeh?” Yuna commented as she sipped a cuppa. They’d retired to Sakura’s room, with her parents now sleeping downstairs. Jiraiya had very uncomfortably lowered himself to sit on the bed, whilst Yuna had sat by the desk. Itachi had taken a seat on the floor with Sakura next to him.

It felt like the start of a bad joke: three of the most dangerous shinobi in history walk into a little girl’s bedroom. Except it wasn’t a joke. Jiraiya didn’t think he’d ever seen a place so pink in his life. Not much of the walls was visible due to the many shelves with books on them – the only free spaces were littered in butterfly drawings and photos – but out of what remained, everything else was… exceedingly girly. There even was a cherry-blossom rug on the carpet, and most of the furniture was magenta or lilac. A large part of it had butterflies imprints, for some unfathomable reason. He spotted a lone picture upon the night table, a picture of team seven with a forest backdrop.

“Pipsqueak, ya hear me?” Yuna called out suddenly.

Itachi turned to look at her.

“I said –ya’ve been casting a genjutsu on the girl’s parents, haven’t yeh?”

Itachi ignored the question. “Why are you here,” he asked instead, without inflection.

“Heh. Why don’t ya ask yer lil birds over there?” Yuna proposed. “I’m sure they know more than I do about the girl’s attacker.”

Itachi’s eyes widened. Even Jiraiya tensed.

“What do you mean?”

“Hm? Oh, you didn’t know? I figured the girl told you – she left to do just that.”

“Tell me what, Yuna?” Itachi demanded, a dangerous gleam in his eye.

Yuna paused. “I’m not sure. Only thing I know is – someone’s out to get ‘er.”

“Why?”

“…she showed up ‘n my shop today, ‘round closing time. She was trembling and havin’ a panic attack, and her hands were cut right open, bleedin’ in rivulets, like she’d grabbed a weapon by the blade, or maybe glass.” Yuna inhaled deeply, then continued. “She was very scared. Took me forever ter calm ‘er down. Wouldn’t stop cryin’ and panickin’. Then she fell asleep for a while… woke up screamin’ moments later. So I made ‘er take a shower, fixed her hands… told her ta tryna get more rest, but she said she had to go visit that Sasuke boyfriend of hers an’ tell ‘er teacher about somethin’ – related with the attack, I’m guessin’.”

“She was attacked?” repeated Itachi, aghast. “By whom?”

“Hell if I know.”

It was in that moment that a tapping against the window distracted them. Itachi got up and opened it. In flew Shi-chan, who immediately took a seat upon Sakura’s head.

“So you finally came…” said the crow darkly, sharingan ablaze in one eye. Yuna and Jiraiya tensed, while Itachi just nodded. “Caw!” Shi-chan screeched. “I cannot believe, caw, the sheer folly of you, human!” He glared around the room frighteningly. “Caw. The girl was in a dangerous, unguarded location, completely alone and scared to death!” Itachi flinched. “And you left her! Caw! Just left her like that! Caw! What is wrong with you, you foolish creature?”

Itachi didn’t even try to defend himself, he just stared at the floor in shame.

“It’s a good thing I’m not as stupid as my human, caw,” Shi-chan continued, addressing the room at large. “You should be thankful you have me, caw, if not–” he nodded toward Sakura, “she’d be a cooling corpse by now! Caw!” Itachi flinched as the room collectively eyed the genin, whose head had dropped over Itachi’s shoulder as she snoozed. There was an uncomfortable silence.

“So… the bird saved the day,” Yuna surmised after a beat.

“Good job, little guy,” Jiraiya added for good measure. The crow did not seem to appreciate this.

“My name is Shi-chan,” he sniffed. “The Harbinger of Death.”

“Right,” said Jiraiya. He and Yuna exchanged glances.

“Shi-chan, was it?” Yuna said slyly, eyeing Itachi out of the corner of her eye. “Who would’ve thought the pipsqueak had it in him?”

“I named myself,” Shi-chan informed. “Caw. With Sakura’s assistance, caw. The human only ever calls me ‘Karasu’.” he added with contempt.

“So, uh, Shi-chan,” Jiraiya ventured. “Can you tell us about the attacker?”

“Caw. He was a viper. The viper man, caw.”

They both glanced over to Itachi for translation.

“He means Orochimaru,” Itachi said quietly.

The room froze. Jiraiya went completely stiff, while Yuna’s artificially relaxed countenance revealed nothing. On his part, Itachi looked even more ashamed of himself. Sakura was still asleep.

“I will force Sakura to sign a contract with me,” Shi-chan cawed into the silence. “Caw. Not that it’s any of your business, human,” he glared at Itachi.

“He can do that?” asked Jiraiya with alarm.

“Of course I can! Caw! Us crows are not like doddering toads, we’re a free people. We chose who we sign – not the other way around, caw!”

“Wait, wait, wait,” said Jiraiya. “So, the ownership of the summoning contract goes to you? You are the summoner, not the other way around?”

“Indeed, toad man. I could summon Sakura or the human to me if I so wished to, caw, and while the human may summon us in return, my kin can refuse the call at any time, caw.”

Jiraiya gaped.

“And you’ve signed a contract like that?” he asked Itachi. Itachi was too busy wallowing to answer.

  
  
  
  


When Yuna and Jiraiya finally left Sakura’s house, they were both lost in thought. Itachi had barely spoken another word during the entire time they were there, which had been for over an hour. His only participation in the conversation had been to tell Jiraiya not to reveal Sakura’s involvement in the Orochimaru attack, or at the very least, to keep it hidden from Danzo. And that, Jiraiya found, was a cause he could get behind. Sakura seemed like a sweet kid, no way was he letting Danzo get his paws on her. Well, he could certainly try, anyway, but judging by Itachi’s earlier reaction, he really, really pitied the fool who tried to hurt the girl. Even as they’d left, Sakura had still been asleep on Itachi’s shoulder, who had barely even moved or shifted during the entire hour, clearly so as to not disturb her, even though he must’ve been getting a cramp… Truly, it was very kind, if not a little odd. Jiraiya wondered at their odd friendship. How had such a strange bond come about? 

He also wondered (though he did not know how to phrase this) how Yuna had survived. He had seen her die… he remembered the day as if it were yesterday. He had seen her seal break, and yet, there she was, much older than he remembered, somewhat more jaded, perhaps, but undoubtedly herself. And yet, he couldn’t ask her about that day, not even he was that tactless. Or at least, he couldn’t ask her right off the bat.

“So, Sakura Haruno, huh?” he said after a beat. “How is it that both you and… uh, Tetsuya know her?”

“Fate?” Yuna hazarded with a shrug. The longer she was in his company, the more her accent seemed to vanish. “I can only tell ya how I met Sakura, I’ve no idea how she met the pipsqueak at all.” She laughed. “Only that the girl calls him ‘stalker-san’ when they’re alone, go figure.”

Jiraiya frowned.“Now you’re just messing with me.”

“I ain’t lying,” she drawled with a smirk.

“That’s… I don’t even want to know. Well, I do, but you get what I mean. How did you meet her, anyway?”

“It wasn’t any big occasion,” Yuna commented. “She was just this brat I got attached to over time. Used to come to my thrift shop to scavenge for things to re-sell like they were brand new.”

“Did she now?” Jiraiya asked with amusement. “Sounds like something Tsunade would do.”

“Ah, Tsunade…” Yuna sighed fondly. “How’s that old sly-boots doin’?”

“Same old, same old. Crashing parties, going to betting houses, you know her.”

“Heard she gave up on medicine.”

“Uh… that’s, well… not entirely.”

Yuna lifted a brow.

“She’s got blood phobia,” Jiraiya admitted.

Yuna frowned. “That bullheaded blonde? She had no fear of nothin’ back then. What happened?”

“Well, you know…” the sannin trailed off. “People change. People die.” There was a significant silence. “Your death was a big blow to her, you know?”

Yuna froze for a moment.

“Oh, come off it,” she snapped. “I know the slug queen ain’t got blood phobia ‘cuz of me. I’d have haunted ‘er till she overcame it if that were the case, and she damn well knows it.”

“True. But that doesn’t mean it didn’t impact her. Or any of us.” Yuna remained silent and Jiraiya sighed. “So how the hell are you alive, anyway?”

“Wouldn’t you like to know?” 

“Yes, I would. That seal you had should’ve killed you, Rasna, at the latest when they ripped it out.”

“Well it didn’t. Happy?”

“I am, I am,” Jiraiya assured her. “I’m just trying to understand.”

There was an uncomfortable silence.

“…I – had help,” Yuna admitted finally.

“Ah.”

“I wouldn’t have made it otherwise.”

“I see… was it…” Jiraiya trailed off. “Was it…”

“You don’t want to know,” she cut him off.

Jiraiya shut up. He was going to have to look into that… he hoped he was wrong. But for now… 

“How long have you been here for?” he changed the topic.

“Since the siege, give or take some months.”

“What? But that …that was so long ago. Why didn’t you ever tell me?”

“Wasn’t up ta me.” Yuna shrugged. “The hokage and that Danzo bastard told me not to say a damn thing, so what was I supposed to do? Except for a bunch of ninja who’re all dead now, no one knew. I couldn’t tell ya.”

Jiraiya stared at her with shock. “All this time… sensei was aware you were here? And he didn’t tell me? But why?”

“What do I know?” Yuna said. “I’m just an old cat-lady, ‘s none of my business.” She stopped walking suddenly, gesturing toward a house. “Well, this is me. I’d say come in but it’s five in the morning.”

Jiraiya chuckled tiredly. “Yeah, best not.” He stared at her awkwardly.

“Good seein’ ya, you pervert,” Yuna said with a grin, brusque in her endearments as usual.

Jiraiya almost wished she’d forgotten that particular moniker. “You too…” he said. Moments later, her door was closed and Yuna gone.

  
  
  
  


When Jiraiya made it to his flat, he felt too restless to go to sleep. 

There were so many thoughts whirring in his brain he could barely even choose which question to prioritize. Yuna just now, but also, Itachi Uchiha’s true allegiance… which in other words must mean that he had been framed for the massacre, no? What even was the truth? Jiraiya was only certain of one thing: no matter what had happened, Itachi Uchiha had been grievously wronged in some way because there was no way that that kid was a psychopath. And he was going to help him moving forward, but not without finding out the truth about the massacre first. He almost wanted to go and find out what had happened straight from the hokage’s mouth right then and there, but even Jiraiya had more sense than to barge in on the people he’d be seeking answers from at five in the morning. But tomorrow, he decided, tomorrow sensei was in for a long, long chat.

Unfortunately, Jiraiya would need to get some sleep too if he was to bring his A game to said chat, but he realized quickly enough that there was no way in hell he’d be getting any sleep now. 

As was his usual on nights like these, he pulled out the blue scroll. Inside the blue scroll, there were other scrolls; scrolls upon scrolls worth of paragraphs written. None of these scripts were from Icha Icha – those he kept in a scroll with naked women on the cover – and none of them had ever been published. He shuffled through them. They were simply too personal to be read by anyone but him. They weren’t made up stories or embellished tales of his romantic exploits – they bore the deepest, most personal parts of his life. Only Minato had ever seen them, and he’d been amazed. He’d also been mad at Jiraiya for ‘fooling him all these years into thinking he only wrote about banal things’, but no matter how much the blonde pestered him, Jiraiya refused to publish any of it, even the scrolls that had long since lost political relevance. They felt too personal, too private, too him, to let anyone else read them.

After a few minutes, he stopped shuffling through them, having found the one he was looking for – a scroll he hadn’t opened in over twenty years, not since the day it had last been written in. It was brown, ugly and battered, the only kind that had been available in Wind Contry during the war. He stared at the scroll for long minutes, but his hands refused to open it. Not now… he thought tiredly. Maybe later…

  
  


Instead, he produced a new, blank scroll and sat down at his desk. He felt nervous, on edge… there was a lot on his mind. He needed to unload. Usually, when he wrote about real events, he made sure to use aliases for all real characters and places mentioned in the narrative. He chewed on his pen thoughtfully, trying to think of two fitting names…

The first one, he decided, would be Hisoka – secretive – an apt description. The second… an idea popped into his mind and he grinned. Yes, Himitsu – secret – sounded perfect. It wasn’t truly a name, but he had his creative license and besides, no one would ever read it. Probably. 

After having settled on that, the words came to him automatically.

Hisoka and Himitsu. first thoughts...

  
  
  
  


The next morning, Sakura woke up with a violent crick on her shoulder and a weight on her head. Itachi had fallen asleep on top of it, she realized, though almost as soon as she did, he woke up with a coughing fit. 

Stomach sinking a mile a minute, Sakura felt the urge to address his possible terminal disease, but as she looked at him in that moment, she could tell that he was really, really tired. Not an ideal time for such a conversation… 

Then she looked around and noticed that she was in her bedroom. But hadn’t she… hadn’t she gone to the hospital? She almost felt like it had been a dream. That had been after… after Yuna. And she’d been at Yuna’s because… because…

Sakura jolted and almost screamed at the memory. Orochimaru. She suddenly noticed that her entire body started to shake. Itachi placed at hand on her shoulder.

“Sakura,” he said quietly. 

Sakura tried to breathe. The weight on her shoulder was grounding, but Orochimaru’s memory overwhelmed her. 

He won’t come here, she told herself. Stalker-san is here. And it’s not dark anymore… Stalker-san is here. I’m not alone… 

It took five minutes for her to calm down. 

Once she had, Sakura remembered her manners and invited Itachi to have breakfast downstairs. Rather anticlimactic, she knew, but she didn’t think she could stand looking at Itachi’s hollow face any longer. Her parents were curiously asleep still (even though they were usually early risers, so that was odd) but it proved to be convenient as it gave them privacy. As it happened, Sakura was a horrible cook, so she simply put some rice in the cooker, took some soy sauce from the fridge, heated up two glasses of milk and hoped for the best.

The milk’s warmth was soothing, though the rice tasted like ash. Itachi, however, was shovelling it into his mouth like there was no tomorrow,, so there was that at least. They were in the middle of eating when he suddenly stopped his frantic calorie intaking and bowed deeply.

“Sakura. Please forgive me.”

“Huh?” Sakura lowered her chopsticks confusedly. “Okay? You didn’t do anything.”

“No. I am guilty of. Of leaving you alone in there. I did not. I did not realize that you were in danger and… I’m so sorry.” His stoic expression crumbled and he looked almost like he was about to cry.

He didn’t, but Sakura panicked anyway.

“It’s fine! It’s fine! Really. Don’t — just don’t… blame yourself. Please. It was my fault for staying behind like a moron. It’s completely on me, really, I should’ve known better. So don’t… don’t carry that on your conscience. Please.”

Itachi sighed, carding a hand through messy hair. Just then, Shi-chan flew into the kitchen.

“Shi-chan!” Sakura exclaimed, but the crow ignored her, flying past her until he was in front of Itachi. 

“I see you have at least apologized, human, but you remain as incompetent as usual.” Itachi lowered his head miserably.

Ostensibly satisfied, Shi-chan turned toward Sakura, all business-like, and made a cawing sound. A bunch of other crows flew into the kitchen on command, and as Sakura turned to look at them, her eyes went as wide as saucers. The crows were carrying a giant scroll.

Gently, they deposited it upon the ground by Sakura’s feet, who could only continue to gape at it like a fish. 

“The binding contract, caw,” Shi-chan said impatiently.

Sakura and Itachi just stared at him.

“What?” Sakura said blankly.

Shi-chan flapped his wings with annoyance and clacked his beak at her. “It’s a summoning contract. Caw. Do catch up.”

“I… I’m sorry? What’s a summoning contract?”

Shi-chan actually rolled his eyes. “One which you will sign so that if any other errant S-ranked criminals happen to attempt to kill you, you’ll at least have my kin to help you cross Nothingness into Death. Caw. Or you know, caw, if we can get you out alive, that’s an option too.”

“Wait… you guys help people to cross into the land of the dead?” Sakura asked hesitantly. “I thought the whole ‘crows are related to death’ thing were just urban—”

“Ask questions later, caw!” Shi-chan interrupted, pecking her ear. “do you accept the contract, yes or no?”

“Yes, yes. I mean… Of course I accept,” Sakura said, smiling confusedly. “What do I have to—” 

Before she could finish asking, Shi-chan had pecked her finger until it was bleeding. Shocked, Sakura had the impulse to cry out in pain, but she refrained. And then, without further fanfare, Shi-chan used her blood to write something on the scroll—with his beak. Sakura could only gape as she realized that that was her name right there, correct kanji and all.

“Um. Do I have to do anything?” she asked hesitantly.

Shi-chan shook his head. “The contract, caw, is now finalized. I only required your verbal, willing acceptance to bind you to me, caw.”

“So, then, then I can summon you from now on?! Just like that?” Sakura questioned excitedly.

“Yes, caw. If I accept the summons. And I can summon you as well—if you accept. But for you to summon me, caw,” Shi-chan sniffed at Itachi, “you’ll have to get him to teach you the human summoning jutsu.”

Itachi simply nodded hollowly. After that, he’d been very quiet, more so than usual, and it had worried her. Then Sakura had once again remembered the white-haired guy’s words, asking her if she knew about his illness. That had alarmed her a lot yesterday, so she’d questioned Itachi relentlessly about the matter. He was not forthcoming at all in his answers. Eventually, he’d snapped out of it for long enough to teach her the seals to the summoning jutsu. It wasn’t like any other time he’d taught her a jutsu. Usually, he and Sakura would discuss the theory and mechanics behind it, going back and forth until Sakura understood perfectly what she was supposed to do. This time was completely different. He only showed her the handsigns once, absentmindedly. It had been enough for her to memorize them, but it still didn’t feel very courteous not to repeat them. She’d attempted to coax more information out of him, to wrap him in a discussion of chakra theory, but it was like he was far away, answering with monosyllabics only, if at all. Eventually, Sakura had resigned to trying different chakra combinations until she got it right. Itachi had stared hollowly at a wall as she practiced her summoning jutsu. After a while, she’d managed to summon a crow chick. Following that, she’d adjusted it until she could summon Shi-chan at will. Itachi never seemed to notice.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  


The rest of the morning passed in a blur. After saying goodbye to Itachi, Sakura had found Naruto and filled him in on what had happened to Sasuke and they immediately ran to the hospital together. The nurse out front told them to get lost, however, because apparently ‘room 345 doesn’t allow visitors’. 

However, something which the nurse at the front desk didn’t seem to realize was that team seven was not the type of team to give up ever, believe it. Truth be told, the poor woman looked rather terrified as Naruto and Sakura both jointly shouted at her that ‘those who break the rules are trash, but those who abandon their teammates are worse than trash’. This was enough to get them kicked out, but not enough for them not to try again.

Together, Naruto and Sakura spent the entire morning engineering diverse plots and infiltration strategies trying to break into Sasuke’s hospital room, which were all thwarted by the ANBU guarding his door. Naruto had proudly declared ‘you weird festival mask nerds won't stop me’, so there was that. Unfortunately, since she had to be at her house for lunch, Sakura was forced to eventually bid her teammate goodbye, promising to return to meet him as soon as she could. Little did she know how wrong she was.

  
  
  


“Your grandfather is sick, sweetie.”

She stared at her mother uncomprehendingly, her chopsticks frozen halfway to her mouth.

“I’m… what… is it bad?”

Hizashi and Mebuki stared at her grimly across the table. Sakura swallowed.

“What’s wrong with him?” she pressed.

“He has been diagnosed with poliomyelitis,” her father said at last.

Sakura didn’t know what that was, but judging by his tone, it could be nothing good. “What is it?”

“It’s a virus,” Mebuki muttered. “It targets the spinal cord and it can paralyze the person affected by it.” She blinked very quickly. “It is common in children. The older the afflicted, the more severe.”

Sakura froze. “Jii-chan…” Her eyes widened. “But that’s… that’s… it can be cured. Right? It can be cured.”

“No cure has been invented,” her father said gravely.

“But then – then – there must be some kind of treatment!”

“Yes, there is,” Mebuki said gravely. “But it requires a med-nin. It’s… very expensive.”

Sakura froze. “Sakura…” Hizashi said. “We’re in the red right now.”

“But… but how!”

“Remember the loan we took to pay for the business expansion?”

She nodded, horrified. “But, but we can take another loan, right? We have to get jii-chan treatment!”

“We will,” Mebuki said firmly. “But you must understand, Sakura, things might get a little tight around here… and you’ve got to help us too, sweety. You’re old enough to work now.”

“Of course,” Sakura said. “You can have the money I’ve been saving up from my D-ranks. It’s not much, I know, but–”

“No, Sakura-chan, that is not what I meant.”

“Huh?”

Hizashi coughed into his sleeve. “Well, your mother and I have talked and…”

“I know this might hurt to hear, Sakura,” Mebuki sighed. “but it’s about time you stopped playing ninja.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Soooo????  
> Did y'all enjoy this spicy piece of action?? Please, do let me know in the comments bellow! Thanks :)


	15. Dedication

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sakura gets a ramen bowl, confronts her old bully, and comes up with the Itasaku language. Not necessarily in that order.  
> Also, Kakashi gets angsty. :)

When Sakura went to the hospital again, flanked by her parents, Naruto greeted her by the gate. He had started explaining his new plan to ‘infiltrate the teme’s bedroom once and for all’ when her mother and father both nudged her forward. (“I’m sorry, are you Sakura’s friend? She can’t play with you right now.” “Huh? Sakura-chan?”) They bipassed Naruto, Sakura’s stomach sinking as she walked further and further away from him down the hall. Before she could gather her bearings, they’d made it to her Jii-chan’s room. He lay on the bed. He was asleep. He looked pale and, well, sick. He looked bad. Sakura couldn’t hold it in any longer, she started crying. The worst part was, she didn’t even know whether it was for her grandfather or herself, for his health or her ninja career. She felt like a terrible person, crying over her own selfish worries…  
Time passed by in a blur. Before she knew it, visiting hours were over. Her parents’ faces were somber as they walked back towards the civilian district. Sakura told them to go on ahead, she’d be home for dinner. Truly, she didn’t know where she was going, but somehow, her feet took her to her old training ground – the one where she’d practiced every day after the Academy during her last year there. All of that work, the shunshin, the air step, the chiheisen…, all those days spent training, her dreams, her goal to become a great civilian born kunoichi (and when had that aspiration even started), hell, everything she’d gone through already, all the people she’d met… was it all going to fade away now? Was it all going to be a memory? A funny anecdote to tell her grandchildren over dinner?  
“Sup, Bubblegum.” She jolted.  
In front of her stood one of the kids she’d once bribed into training with her.  
“Oh, hi,” Sakura said.  
The girl was, ironically, chewing on a piece of pink gum. She plopped down next to Sakura. “You made it to genin, huh?”  
Sakura nodded morosely.  
“I’m mad, you know?”  
“Huh?”  
“You never came to say goodbye to us!” the girl exclaimed. “Talk about entitled! I had to find a new way to sneak gum without my father noticing!”  
Sakura sighed. “Yeah, sorry about that, Hanabi. I guess I got a big head after making it to genin.”  
“Yeah, you sure did,” Hanabi said. “Though you did beat my sister in a spar…” She snickered. “You can’t imagine the face father made when he found out! It was the best!”  
Sakura sighed. “I didn’t mean to get her into trouble…”  
“It’s good you did,” Hanabi said.  
Sakura gasped, turning toward the girl angrily. “How can you say that! Don’t be so mean!”  
Hanabi popped a bubble. “Didn’t mean it like that, Bubblegum. So chill.”  
“Then what did you mean?” Sakura wanted to know.  
“Just that you beating her – that was good for her. Motivated her to do better, to train more… besides, didn’t you hear what happened with cousin Neji?”  
“Huh? Who’s that?”  
“Cousin Neji’s like a big deal in our clan. Everyone says he’s a genius, they all think he should be the heir instead of sis.”  
“Wow. That must suck so much for her.”  
“It kinda does. Even Neji thinks so. He scorns my sister at every turn, jabbering about how her destiny’s to be weak or some shit.”  
“Language!”  
“Chillax. As long as you don’t go telling father about it, we’re good.”  
Sakura frowned. “So? What happened between Hinata-san and this Neji fellow? And what does it have to do with me?”  
“She copied you!” Hanabi cackled.  
“She – she did?”  
“Hahahha! It was so funny. Pity I wasn’t there. Turns out she pulled a you and threw a bunch of salt into his eyes. Guy went down like a sinking ship.”  
“Seriously?” Sakura exclaimed.  
“Yeah, dude. It was awesome.”  
“That’s…” Sakura paused, her smile dimming. She was happy for Hinata, she truly was. But… if she stopped being a ninja, was that what would happen? Would someone like Hinata step into her shoes, accomplish her achievements, feel in the void she’d left…?  
“Bubblegum? You with me?”  
Sakura sighed, getting up.  
“What’s wrong with ya?”  
“I… nothing. It’s nothing.”  
“Do you want me to train you again?” Hanabi asked. “I might make time for ya if you make it worth my while.”  
Suddenly, all the pent up anger and frustration bubbled to the surface. “What even makes you think that you’re better than me?!” Sakura shouted.  
“Hey, what the heck?”  
“I’m already a genin! I’ve survived situations you wouldn’t even dream of! You’re just a little kid! I’m a ninja!”  
“Hah? Yeah right!” Hanabi exclaimed. “I’m stronger than you! I can beat my sister’s ass already, the hell makes you think I can’t beat you?”  
“Oh, yeah! Then try to hit me if you’re so sure!” Sakura yelled.  
“Fine!” Hanabi spat, her eyes narrowing to slits.

Not even ten minutes later, Sakura was panting, lying on the floor, beaten and bruised. She couldn’t even feel her chakra.  
“Tch,” Hanabi said. “I can’t believe I freaking liked you.”  
Next second, she was alone, lying on the floor, staring at the sky. Though she didn’t cry, Sakura felt more miserable than ever. Why was she so stupid? Why did she have to go picking a fight with Academy kids, of all thing? Worse yet. She was so useless, she couldn’t even beat an Academy kid. Ugh… she curled into a ball, hating herself. Was her shinobi career truly over?

It was like this how Shi-chan found her.  
“What ails you, Sakura?” the crow asked, nipping at her ear.  
Sakura sighed, getting up from the floor, brushing the dust off her dress. It was ruined. Great.  
“Nothing… everything.” She sighed again.  
“It is either one or the other, make up your mind, caw.”  
Sakura chuckled listlessly, striding toward the old swing by the Academy. It was empty at the late hour, and so, almost automatically, she plopped down upon it, swinging lightly with her legs.  
“It’s just…” she sighed.  
“Is it because you let that whelp human beat you? Caw.”  
“I mean, partly… but not really. But yes. I just… I don’t think I can be a ninja anymore.”  
“Nonsense. Caw.”  
“It’s the truth. I have no potential.”  
“Caw. Now you’re just fishing for compliments.”  
“I’m not!” Sakura exclaimed. She almost couldn’t believe she was having such an emotionally charged conversation with a crow, but here she was. Somehow, she ended up telling Shi-chan about her jii-chan, who was sick and needed money for his treatment, of her parents, who had finally gone through with their threats of forbidding her to be a ninja…  
“Caw. If the only issue is money,” Shi-chan opined sensibly, “then you just need to be a better ninja who makes more money, caw.”  
Sakura stared at him, wide-eyed. “That – that’s true! If I make chunin in the next exams, maybe I could…”  
“Caw, exactly. See, I solve all your problems, caw.”  
Sakura giggled. Then she sobered. “But I need to work, Shi-chan. My parents have already spoken to a family friend who owns a restaurant and settled it with him that I’ll work there from now on. My jii-chan needs the money now, you know? Not whenever I make chunin, if that’s even possible…”  
“It is possible, caw. You just need to start training in earnest, caw.”  
“Train? What’s even the point? Didn’t you just see that Academy girl hand my ass to me?”  
“So train more than she does, caw. Then you’ll be good.”  
Sakura frowned exasperatedly. “But how! How am I even supposed to find the time do that? I have to be at the restaurant from nine to five!”  
“So train after.”  
“I can’t! I have to visit jii-chan, and Sasuke and… and I was also thinking of doing some other odd jobs if I can, taking advantage of the work the chunin exams brings to town. You know, painting walls, pulling weeds and the like. Hopefully with that I can help jii-chan some more…”  
“Caw. I think you should train anyway.”  
“But Shi-chan!” Sakura protested. “I can’t. How am I even supposed to make time for that? I’m not superhuman, y’know. Maybe after the chunin exams I’ll have more time…”  
“No,” said Shi-chan decisively. “You must start training now, caw!”  
Sakura frowned, biting her lip. “I can wait a month until the exams are over…”  
“No, caw! You don’t understand!”  
“What is it I don’t understand?”  
Shi-chan stared at her fixedly. “I have heard the big men in the big chairs,” he informed her.  
“Huh?”  
“I have heard them talk, caw! And they all sing the same tune. Disaster is upon us!”  
“Wh-what?” Sakura eyed the crow a little nervously. “Shi-chan, don’t go saying stuff like that! It sounds really ominous.”  
“Disaster is upon us,” the Harbinger of Death repeated. “Do not bury your head in the sand, Sakura. You are smarter than that.”  
“But – but how can you be so sure?”  
“The viper man from yesterday is only the first sign, caw. You must prepare.”  
Sakura’s eyes widened. Orochimaru. Despite herself, her breath started to quicken, her heart rate rocketing up. “He… he’ll come back?” she croaked.  
“Caw! All evidence points toward it, caw!”  
“B-but…”  
“It is the truth!”  
“But Stalker-san and hokage-sama and Kakashi-sensei would never let him hurt me again,” Sakura insisted, breathing shallowly.  
“After yesterday, caw, can you truly say that?” Shi-chan demanded.  
His words took her back to that moment. She’d been all alone – so, so alone. She never wanted to feel so helpless again. She never wanted to see that horrible snake man again, she wanted to curl up under a blanket and feel safe, but she knew no blanket could hide her well enough.  
“But if the hokage knows about the coming danger, he’ll have time to prepare, right?” Sakura chocked out. “He’ll prepare.”  
“Yes, caw. He’ll prepare. But so should you.”  
Those words struck a chord within her. It was true, though, wasn’t it? Yesterday it had been her against the danger, nothing but her meager skill set to fend off death. What if she was all alone again? What if she could only rely on herself? Sakura closed her eyes and focused on controlling her breathing.  
“You’re right, Shi-chan…” she said at last. “I must find a way to train. I must prepare myself. I have to be ready.”

The next morning, Sakura got up extra early. She was supposed to be at the restaurant by nine for a brief orientation (though she wasn’t supposed to start working until the next day), and she was still set on trying to visit Sasuke and her grandfather after work, so that left only before to train. The sun had barely risen when Sakura left the house. She was dressed in her black pants and cargo shirt, a clothes sack upon her back for later. As soon as she was out of the house, she performed the jutsu Itachi had taught her yesterday and summoned Shi-chan.  
“Hello, Sakura,” the crow said. “I see you are serious about your training, caw.”  
Sakura sighed. She really wasn’t sure whether she’d accomplish much of anything by herself. She had no guidelines, no concrete goals. Kakashi was missing and she didn’t know anyone else who could give her advice… well, besides for Stalker-san. Hesitantly, Sakura explained her problem to Shi-chan.  
“Caw. You need the human’s help, caw.”  
“Uh, well… I don’t want to bother him if he’s working…”  
“You will not, caw. He needed to make up for his folly, anyway.”  
“Shi-chan! Don’t be rude.”  
“I speak only the truth. Rest assured, Sakura, I will fetch you my useless human at once. He should be brooding somewhere, caw.”  
“Uh?” Before Sakura could come up with a more eloquent answer, Shi-chan had disappeared.  
Judging by Itachi’s behavior yesterday, it was clear that something was very wrong with him, but Sakura didn’t know what. She recalled he’d lost it when he’d seen… Sasuke’s condition, though, as a seasoned ninja, that was pretty odd. Perhaps he’d lost a teammate in a similar occasion and it had triggered him. Sakura shuddered, not wishing to think about it. Maybe he was so withdrawn because of something related to his medical condition. Perhaps while he was at the hospital for Sasuke, he’d been given a check-up too and diagnosed with terminal cancer! Or something. Sakura bit her lip worriedly. Somehow, her friend’s bleak situation put her own into perspective. There were worse things that could be happening in her life. Yesterday, Sakura had been too much of a wreck herself to try cheering anyone else up, but today was a new day. She resolved to do her utmost to help Itachi.

When Itachi finally ambled into the training ground a few minutes later, he looked even worse than yesterday. There were bags under his eyes, he was so pale he could’ve passed as a zombie and his vacant stare wasn’t helping his case. Sakura immediately felt guilty for asking him to come. He looked like he hadn’t slept a wink and here she was, demanding to be trained at six in the morning like a spoiled brat. As he came closer, Sakura noticed that Shi-chan was sitting on his head and chastising him to snap out of it.  
“Shi-chan, stop,” she said quietly. “I think maybe you should go back to sleep, uh, Tetsuya.”  
It was like he hadn’t even heard her.  
“Er, Tetsuya?”  
Nothing.  
“Hello?” Sakura repeated.  
Still nothing.  
“Stalker-san?” His eyes moved slightly toward her, but not really focusing.  
Sakura chewed on her lip. She decided to try something else… “Ita-kun?”

The reaction was instantaneous. He jolted out of his reverie, his eyes wide as he stared at her.  
“What did you just say?” he asked quietly.  
Sakura smiled. She was glad he’d reacted. “Ita-kun?” she tried again.  
Itachi stared at her long and hard. “How…?” he said after a moment, looking faint. “You don’t… you don’t mind?”  
Sakura didn’t really understand what he was on about, but she decided to reassure him. “Um, no?” she said uncertainly. “You… you want me to call you that? Uh. Ita-kun?”  
He nodded slowly.  
Sakura grinned. “That’s – cool. Uh. Haha. I. Um. I’m sorry for calling you out here this early into the day, I shouldn’t have. I’m sorry, I just figured you’d be awake, or well, I didn’t really think it trough, sorry, um–”  
“I wasn’t asleep,” Itachi said.  
“Oh. Okay then.”  
Itachi was looking at her expectantly. Sakura was pretty sure she’d heard Shi-chan tell him that he was supposed to train her, but apparently he hadn’t heard. She coughed awkardly. “Do you think…” she ventured. “Would it be possible…”  
“Yes?”  
“Can you train me?”  
Itachi stared at her blankly for a moment. Then his shoulders dropped. “I… have surveillance duty.”  
“Oh.”  
Itachi looked at her hesitantly. “I can train you in the early morning,” he decided finally. “I hope that’s alright.”  
“O-of course!” Sakura exclaimed. “That’s… that would be great! Yes! Thank you! Thank you so much!”  
He nodded. “Then let us begin.”  
“H-huh?”  
He didn’t answer. Before she knew what was going on, he was upon her. His first kick hit her square in the stomach and sent her to the ground. Sakura rolled to the side and stared at him wide-eyed. “What are you doing?!”  
“I must asses your level,” Itachi said simply. “Come at me with everything you have.”  
Sakura did. It was one of those days.

It wasn’t nearly enough. They way she’d lost to Hanabi couldn’t compare with this defeat. Itachi had beat her so effortlessly, so thoroughly… she felt like she’d never be strong like that. Like yesterday, she found herself lying on the ground, panting, her clothes stained with sweat and grime, as Itachi towered over her. It would be no exaggeration to say that he hadn’t broken a sweat.  
“So…” Sakura panted weakly, straining to sit up. “How did I do?”  
He crouched down next to her. “You are inadequate.”  
She should’ve know. Couldn’t she get anything right?  
Her heart sank. “Does that mean you won’t train me?” Sakura asked quietly.  
“It does not,” Itachi replied. “My decision to train you has nothing to do with your current skill level. I just want to help you, Sakura.”  
She smiled a little. “Thank you.”  
Itachi nodded, looking her over. “Rest. Tomorrow, we will begin.”  
It was still a while until nine, but Sakura figured it wouldn’t hurt to be a little early for work so she nodded. “Um… Ita-kun?”  
He startled. “Yes?”  
“Can you give me an overview of everything I did wrong?”  
“You want to hear it?” he questioned, surprised.  
Sakura tried to be brave. “In detail. Please.”  
Itachi exhaled, looking lost for a moment. “Well… Your taijutsu is very… underwhelming,” he trailed off. “I would focus on that for now.”  
“How? And what about ninjutsu and genjutsu? Wouldn’t it make more sense to work on my strengths?”  
“Some may argue so, yes,” Itachi told her. “I do not mean to say that my way of doing things is the best… but I have always thought that taijutsu is the base of everything. The way I see it, one needs to reach a certain level of competence at it before focusing on anything else.”  
Sakura nodded. His approach didn’t necessarily please her – she hated taijutsu – but it wasn’t like she had anyone else lining up to teach her. And, she thought to herself, no one said she couldn’t keep practicing the chiheisen and sunshin whilst Itachi wasn’t there.  
“Alright…” she said at last. “Then we’ll focus on taijutsu. Do you, uh, do you want me to bring any equipment tomorrow? Manacles or weights, or…?”  
“No,” said Itachi immediately. “Again, some may disagree, but I am very against weight training. Especially in the beginning.”  
“Why?”  
“The additional weight often leads to the creation of bad habits or less intensity when practicing punches, kicks, and so forth. It is something the brain does automatically. I know weights are very popular, but I would say that many of those who use them do not actually benefit from it. You certainly wouldn’t.”  
That comment stung. “Rude,” Sakura said. She’d tried to make it playful the way Kakashi did, but it had bite.  
Looking at her, Itachi faltered. “I’m sorry,” he said. “I didn’t mean anything by it. I simply think a classic approach would be best for you, Sakura.”  
“What kind of approach?”  
“I’ve yet to figure that out… I’m not sure how you would learn best.”  
“Well, just tell me what you want to teach me and we can brainstorm together,” she proposed.  
Itachi hummed. “Besides for the obvious bodily improvement, I would say your technique necessitates more variety.” He frowned. “There’s a certain something experienced fighters have… a certain flair, adaptability… the ability to chain various strings of attacks together, like a flowing river…” He paused thoughtfully. “Sakura, your fighting style is very brusque. You have a very basic set of attacks, which you use indiscriminately. You lack creativity, but also technique. The way you fight would perhaps be suited to a tall male, but certainly not to someone of your stature – or gender.”  
Sakura blinked rapidly, again, trying not to feel the sting. “I… that’s what I was taught at the Academy. It’s not my fault!”  
“I never said it was,” Itachi countered. “I’m just explaining what needs to be corrected.”  
“So? How are you going to correct it?” Sakura demanded.  
Itachi looked her over pensively. “Forms,” he finally decided. “The different movement sequences will teach you how to better adapt to other attacks in the midst of combat.” He thought for a moment. “When I graduated initially, I was much shorter than my peers… out of necessity, I was forced to develop a different fighting style from the one taught to me, one that took advantage of my opponents’ strength, turning it against them. I do not use it any longer, but I have a feeling it might suit you.”  
“Are you saying I’ll keep being short forever?” Sakura groused.  
Itachi’s lip quirked, but he didn’t answer. “Would you like to learn to fight like that?”  
She thought about it. “I guess if you think it best…”  
“Yes. I will try to unearth it so I can teach it to you. However, I’m not sure how to go about it.”  
“Why? Can’t you just drill me with forms?”  
“The forms I know are all in my… family’s style, not the one I invented. I suppose some modifications could be made to better suit your stature…” He trailed off pensively. “We’ll see.”  
Sakura nodded. “Okay. I guess I’ll see what you’ve got in store for me tomorrow, huh?”  
“Indeed. Would you be amenable to meet here at four?”  
Sakura paused. “Sorry?”  
“Would you like to meet elsewhere then?”  
“I… um. Did you just say at four? In the morning?”  
“Yes.”  
“Oh. Er. Right. Of course. Um. Sure… that’s – whatever works for you, Ita-kun.”  
“Then we will meet at the lake instead, if you don’t mind.”  
“Of course. Um, at four, right?”  
“Yes. Unless you’d like to meet later…?”  
“No, no! Any time you can spare, I’ll take gladly!”  
“Very well then. It’s settled.”

At that exact time one day before, a War Council meeting had been underway. Its members had gathered yet again as soon as Sasuke Uchiha had given his statement, with the additions of Kakashi (who had, to their collective surprise, insisted on taking his seat as Hatake clan head) and some official from Root. (The members had been too preoccupied with the information Sasuke had given to fight Danzo on the new addition much.) Beyond the shadow of a doubt, Sasuke had described Orochimaru to Inoichi upon questioning. Orochimaru was the sharingan thief, there was no doubt about that any longer – less so after Jiraiya of the sannin had confirmed it.  
More damning yet were Kakashi and the Root official’s news: that sand would be involved in the invasion also. Now it was up to the council to decide what to do with that information. Understandably, they were not prepared for the ANBU lieutenant commander’s subsequent proposal. The newly appointed Aburame Shiki was a man of few words, they all knew that much. However, it quickly became clear to them that his silences were not an indicator of stupidity, but rather reservation. As head of ANBU, they’d expected him to say he’d focus his men on training and designing defense strategies or something of the sort. They were not prepared for what they got instead:

“My men already know what to do,” Shiki (the newly appointed ANBU lieutenant commander) began calmly. “No, they’ll be much more useful elsewhere.”  
“Are you daft?” Danzo barked. “You cannot just do whatever you want, Aburame. Don’t you realize how high the stakes are?”  
Some of the council members nodded in agreement. Shiki ignored him.  
“I propose,” he said instead, “that my fighters make more fighters.”  
Danzo stared at him shrewdly, going still. “Explain.”  
“Well… I was thinking about what our main problem during the invasion will be, and my main concern was that it’ll be two villages against one. We may have the home advantage, but they’ll have strength in numbers.” He paused significantly.  
“Go on,” Hiruzen encouraged.  
Shiki nodded. “So I thought to myself: ‘that can’t be right. Our village is one of the most powerful ones out there, and yet we have nearly the same number of operatives currently in duty than Mist does. Mist.’” The room broke out into murmurs, Mist’s reputation for setting up academy graduates for slaughter a few years back widely known, but Shiki continued. “You can doubt me all you want – the numbers speak for themselves. So I did some digging, trying to find out what the cause behind our number problem is…”  
“And?” prompted Danzo, looking suddenly very interested.  
“I found it. The source of our problems… well, there are a few, but the most pressing one is the retirement rates of our kunoichi.”  
The council broke out into murmurs again. “And what is wrong with that?” Homura of the elders snapped. “Our wives have a right to retire to father our children. It is how things have always been and will always be.”  
“Yes, yes,” said Shiki. “However, as you all know, about a third of our graduating class is made up of women, ninety percent of which retire at the rank of chunin, if not earlier. It is simply too large a loss; not unlike a boat with a hole in it.  
“In light of this, I propose the following: we re-recruit all women who have retired ranked chunin or above, and all able-bodied shinobi we can. I will dispatch a large amount of my ANBU to train these women and other recruits up as much as we can, so that we may have a larger strike-force when the attack comes.”  
The room went silent again.  
“The idea has its merit,” said Hiruzen after a beat. “You believe you could train them sufficiently in such a short time?”  
“Once a shinobi, always a shinobi,” Shiki told him. “It’s not like we’d be starting from scratch. Their bodies can actually regain quite a bit of muscle mass in a month, since they used to be fit previously. Many won’t have been in active duty for only a short time. I believe this truly could make a difference.”  
“What about their children?” Koharu protested. “They’re mothers! You can’t just send them out to fight. Who’ll take care of the household?”  
“Really, Koharu?,” Danzo snapped. “If we get invaded, there’ll be no household to take care of.”  
The council members exchanged glances.  
“Due to the nature of this decision, I believe we should vote on it,” Hiruzen broke the silence at length. “All in favor of the lieutenant’s proposal, raise your hands.”

It was a close thing, but Shiki’s proposal obtained majority. The women would fight.

Some council members were still in disbelief minutes later and kept trying to come back to the topic, but Danzo steamrolled over them until they meekly gave up.  
Next, Danzo proceeded to expand upon a proposal of his own. According to him, the chunin exams themselves could provide useful intelligence upon their invaders-to-be. He argued that, as the candidates were all genin, most of the techniques in their arsenal, nay, their very mindset, ought to have been taught to them by their village’s jonin. In other words, if they knew what the sand and sound genin could do, Konoha could get a good idea on some of the jonin’s skills as well, which in turn would give them an immense edge should there be an invasion.

Danzo also added that drawing up the psychological profiles of the sand siblings – especially the jinchuriki’s – might make it possible to tackle one of sand’s largest threats without a need for actual fighting. His arguments were so convincing, in fact, that it was agreed upon that the intelligence and tactics division would study the available memories of the second exam in order to create some of the candidate’s psychological profiles, study the skills in their arsenal and combat strategies, and finally, Hiashi Hyuga (who had a great understanding of chakra theory) was enlisted in order to study their jutsu specifically.  
Seeing as the memories of the exam were mostly Kakashi’s (who had had clones tailing most of the relevant candidates), he was also enlisted to the cause as a memory donor.  
Finally, it was also agreed upon that, while ANBU would start a secret training program in its HQ (sand and sound couldn’t catch on), the rest of the adult career genin would be sent discreetly to the hospital and other places to get started on basic medical training, though none of them would be notified of why.

Meanwhile, jonin would be sent out of the village to fetch errant ANBU in enemy territory, whilst trustworthy chunin would have to use clones, genjutsu, hengue and other techniques in order to fill the resulting voids so that nothing looked amiss. While the hokage would coordinate all of this, Danzo himself volunteered to (besides for his unmentioned duties as leader of Root) take care of the civilian affairs in the village. To put it plainly, he would be in charge of leeching as much money as possible from the civilians in order to pay for weapons, a makeshift hospital expansion and infrastructure reinforcement programs, as well as making sure that they could not leave the village once the invasion was underway. Some of the council members opposed him, stating that would be like taking away their freedom, but Danzo shut them up by showing them graphs which detailed the economic crisis the village would be submerged in, should it lose a large percentage of its civilians. After that, they were supportive of his policies, citizen freedom be damned.

At that time in a different part of the village, Sakura was already dressed and showered, standing in a white blouse and a black skirt on the front steps of the restaurant. Betsubara, the sign read; the state of having room for dessert despite being full.  
“Oh, you must be Kizashi’s girl, yes?” a middle-aged woman greeted her. Sakura nodded.  
“Pleasure,” said the woman. “I’m the manager here. My name is Nakamura Shizuka, though everyone here calls me Shizuka-san because my daughter works here as well. You know, to avoid unnecessary confusion.”  
“Of course,” Sakura replied. “I’m Haruno Sakura, ma’am. Pleased to meet you too.”  
“Great. Now come, Haruno, we have half an hour before opening time. I will show you around.”

As they were wrapping up their tour, Shizuka mentioned offhandedly: “so, you used to be my daughter’s classmate. Did you know?”  
Sakura stared at her, surprised. “Really? You mentioned she works here?”  
“Uh-huh. Isn’t that great?”  
“Oh, yes. What’s her name, if you don’t mind my asking?”  
“Nakamura Ami. Ring a bell?”  
Sakura very deliberately did not freeze. Ami. That had been the girl who’d used to bully her…  
“We know each other,” she said carefully. “Though we haven’t had much contact since… I transferred classes.” Because of your darling daughter, she didn’t mention.  
“Then this will be the perfect opportunity to rekindle your friendship,” Shizuka commented optimistically. She glanced at her wrist. “Oh, would you like at that. It’s almost opening time. Very well…” she looked Sakura over. “Waiting tables can be more stressful than you know, Haruno, so we’ll start off easy. For now, just make sure to take people’s orders, okay? Depending on how well you adjust, you can start carrying dishes later in the day, yes?”  
Sakura nodded.  
“Now,” Shizuka said. “Some advice: don’t take things people may tell you personally. For some reason, all the people who get pushed around by life seem to cope by picking on waiting staff. Best make your peace with that early on. They expect you to be submissive. Just ignore them. Remember their problem isn’t really with you, it’s them, okay? Next: stay alert. Always. When moving between tasks, this is key. Chances are you’ll get more done like that. This isn’t a job for sloths, you’ve got to be here in the moment. Lastly – the more people like you, the better they’ll tip, the more you’ll earn. So, make sure to whip out the charm, will you?”  
Sakura nodded frantically, trying to take it all in.  
It was in that moment that the door opened.  
“’sup, mom.”  
“Oh, there you are,” exclaimed Shizuka, turning around. Sakura turned much more slowly. There, undoubtedly, stood Ami. She’d changed a great deal from when they were six. Her face was sharper, she’d gotten a different haircut (though it was still purple) and the hole she’d used to have in her teeth had disappeared. But some things were still the same: she was still taller than Sakura, still bulkier, still more confident… “Look at this, Ami-chan,” Shizuka exclaimed. “Your classmate will be working with us from now on!”  
“Huh?” Ami turned around, spotting her. The moment their eyes met, Sakura could tell the other girl recognized her. “Oh, yeah,” she said without much interest. “I remember you. Sakura, right?”  
“Um. Yes.”  
“Great. Well, gonna get changed.”  
“Hurry up!” her mother shouted, as Ami disappeared in the back. She turned toward Sakura. “Oh, that’s right. We need to outfit you with an apron too…”

Five minutes later, her first day on the job began. It started off okay. Sakura fell into the swing of things, memorizing the menu, then the customers’ orders. However, around midday, disaster struck. She had just gone to the kitchen to deliver a new order when, out of nowhere, the girl washing the dishes snapped. “That’s it!” she yelled. “I quit!”  
Sakura stared at her with wide eyes. “Hey! You can’t just leave…”  
“Like hell I can’t!” the girl raged, stomping out of the kitchen, throwing her apron in the cook’s face.  
Sakura followed her. “Can’t you wait until tomorrow? It’s really busy out and–”  
“Listen, kid,” the other woman raged. “That guy in there – he’s a fucking creep.”  
“The cook?”  
“Yes! He’s a rapist, sick pedophile and I am so done! I cannot take this any more. Shutting me in the fucking cooler, getting handsy, and those leers… I just fucking can’t. Look for someone else.”  
Sakura stared after her in horror as she stormed out of the place, purse in hand. She did not know what to say to that. After the dishwasher’s departure, things took a turn for the worse. Shizuka-san took over the girl’s spot out of necessity, leaving Sakura and Ami alone out front. It was lunch hour and clearly a busy day.  
Or perhaps Sakura simply wasn’t used to the pace of things, but – it was just insane. For example, table one had just sat down and needed to be greeted and get drinks. Table two’s food order was up in the window, and Sakura was the only one who could run it because there were specific instructions for the garnishes. Table three had their bill and was ready for her to cash them out and get change. Table four needed a refill on their coffee and ice tea. Table five had just asked for extra napkins and a side of ranch. Table six was also a new table, ready to place their order. Tables seven and eight’s food order had just come up the window when Sakura started to run table two’s food, even though she wasn’t technically supposed to do that yet. Next, one of Ami’s tables stopped her while she was walking by and asked her to bring them lemon. There were four guests waiting out front to be sat, staring at her as she scurried about. Shizuka-san was still absent and Ami, who was supposed to be hosting, had disappeared two minutes ago, so Sakura had to smile pretty and escort them to two empty tables.  
And then Ami came up behind her and called: “I’m going for a break, watch my section!” as she ran out the back door… Sakura wanted to scream. Instead, she had to smile at the creepy-laser-stare grandpa who had requested the lemon as he got up and didn’t even tip.  
Then there was also the little matter of the literal towers of dishes Sakura was forced to carry around, an issue which Ami’s absence was not helping with. She had already been exhausted from her training that morning – now her arms felt like they were about to fall off. Her feet smarted, her legs hurt from bumping into things, her chakra felt at its end from all the sticking she did in order to avoid dropping dishes, and the screaming baby out back was absolutely not helping her headache. It was going to be a long day.

When Sakura went to visit her grandfather after her shift, he was asleep again, and without meaning to, she dozed off as well. By the time she awoke a while later, he was still asleep, so she left some flowers in his room and left to go pester the guards to see if they’d let her into Sasuke’s.  
She was feeling somewhat refreshed from the nap, so she had enough energy to put up the good fight. Fortune must be on her side today, because, as it turned out, Sasuke was awake, and even weirder still, he told one of the ANBU there to let Sakura in. Judging by his chakra (and grey hair) as the guard stepped out, Sakura could immediately hazard a guess as to his identity. She beamed at him. Kakashi-sensei instructed the other guards to search her and remove all weapons, no doubt so she could pass through. Some of the guards looked like they wanted to hold her back but none did. In any case, none of this mattered at all to Sakura as she stepped through.  
“Sasuke!” she exclaimed. He was wearing a blindfold over his eyes, thank god. She crossed the room until she was standing in front of him. He was sitting on a chair by the window, staring at it… or well, facing it, at any rate. Sakura hovered by the chair, suddenly tongue-tied.  
Sasuke turned toward her. “Sakura,” he greeted neutrally. He didn’t look well. Hell, no one could’ve expected him to.  
Sakura leaned against the window. She knew better than to ask how he was doing, but she wanted to ask something. “How are you doing?”  
Damn. She was an idiot.  
“Fine,” Sasuke said coldly.  
“Um. That’s, err… has Naruto been by?” She changed the topic.  
“No.”  
“Huh? I mean, if he isn’t here, it’s not for lack of trying or anything. The two of us spent hours trying to get in yesterday.”  
“I know. I told them not to let you in.”  
“What?” Sakura exclaimed. “But why?”  
Sasuke didn’t answer. Sakura looked at him worriedly.  
“Umm… should I get Naruto?” It felt odd, speaking to Sasuke without the blonde acting as a buffer.  
“No.”  
“But… why?”  
Sasuke twitched. “Do you want me to spell it out for you?” he asked. “I don’t want him to see me like this!”  
Sakura flinched. “Oh. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to–”  
“It’s fine.”  
“No, seriously. I can go, if you want,” Sakura added hastily.  
“It’s fine.”  
“No, listen to me! I mean, sorry. I wanted to, uh, to apologize.”  
“Why?”  
“Because, um, I know I’m not exactly great company. And I… I’ve been meaning to tell you that I’m sorry about pestering you all this time, and I’m sorry about screwing the chunin exams up for you. I know that they meant a lot to you, I just… well, I figured we could try again next time–”  
“Evidently not,” Sasuke cut her off, still facing the window. He sounded pained.  
She flinched. Shit. Sasuke was blind. She was so insensitive!  
“But you can get a transplant, right?” Sakura asked nervously. “A set of new eyes? The med-nin can do that, right?”  
“Yes,” Sasuke said. “But I would need a donor around my age.”  
“Oh. Well, I’m sure we’ll find one!” Sakura told him, trying to sound cheerful. Sasuke didn’t reply.  
They were silent for minutes, until Sakura couldn’t bear it anymore. She got the feeling that Sasuke didn’t want her there.  
“Umm… I should probably get going, huh?” she said meekly, her cheeks flaming in shame. She’d been so insensitive… she felt terrible.  
Sakura was almost to the door when Sasuke spoke up again: “You’ll be back?”  
She paused, surprised. “Of course I will,” she told him. “For as long as you’ll have me.”

The days started to blur together after that. In the mornings, Sakura would get up at the crack of dawn to go to the lake and train with Itachi. He would drill her with forms until her calves trembled, remarking that the most important thing was for her to memorize them quickly so that she could practice even without him there.  
Sakura took his words to heart. It was fortunate that she had a good memory – though learning a kata vastly differed from book-smarts – but she was dedicated if nothing else and quickly devised different methods to try and memorize the sequences no matter what, from drawing the different positions in her free time, to constant mental walk-throughs of the kata. Most of the positions making them up had names, so she also memorized the name sequences and reviewed them whenever she could, making sure to mentally associate them with the pertinent movements as she went.  
But kata training was only a portion of what Itachi put her through. After roughly two hours of it, they’d take a break for her to rest and eat some granola bars and then they would start the next part of training, which was basically drills. Endless drills.  
For hours on end, Itachi would make Sakura practice the same kicks and punches on him over and over and over, until she felt like she couldn’t possibly forget them ever again. To finish up, he would instruct her to try and get through the kata on her own, purely out of memory (without him demonstrating like he did at the beginning of the morning) and make corrections to Sakura’s stances as they went.  
Needless to say, Itachi was a severe teacher. He expected Sakura to learn things quickly and flawlessly and he disliked repeating himself. He also expected her to give the lessons her all and if he thought something was within her capabilities, he would not give her respite until she accomplished it. Itachi was also a perfectionist, as Sakura found out the hard way. He was so nitpicky, in fact, that he could consider a kick as ‘inadequate’ merely because of minute mistakes that wouldn’t influence the outcome and which no one would even notice …except for Itachi, of course (though he insisted that proficiency was all in the details).

Keeping up with his standards was hard work, but to Sakura’s surprise, she found that they weren’t unreachable. Generally, when he told her to do something that seemed impossible and refused to budge on the matter until she delivered, Sakura often even surprised herself. She quickly learned that if Itachi said she could do something, then she truly could. Sakura was not ashamed to say, however, that she counted down the minutes of their training until she could leave.

  
The next part of the morning, Sakura spent waiting tables. It was hard work. She enjoyed some aspects of it such as befriending the regulars, something which had been challenging at first due to her shyness, but extremely pleasing once she discovered that they tended to tip her more than they did Ami. This was perhaps not very surprising, considering Ami’s habit of scowling at the customers she didn’t like (something Sakura wished she could do as well, to be honest – there were many perverts – but alas. She needed their money).  
Even so, Ami’s attitude sometimes made her question why she worked so hard. Keeping up the mask all day was trying and took a great psychological toll on her. The physical aspect of the job was also more tiring than one may think, though Sakura’s main problem came from having trained before working, meaning she was already exhausted to begin with. This made her uncoordinated and spacey, and she had to force herself time and time again to remain alert and awake, aware of her surroundings. Most of the time she felt like she was about to drop dead, which wasn’t too surprising, considering that, by lunch break, Sakura would’ve already been awake and working for ten hours. The stretch of time until her break at three was the worst, combining lunch rush and her own exhaustion (plus Ami’s frequent breaks) to make for extremely stressful situations. After her lunch, things usually got more manageable, which in all honesty was probably for the best, because Sakura didn’t think her arms could’ve taken even more abuse by then (plate stacks could be heavy).

At five p.m. she clocked out, though the time sometimes varied. Her grandfather was usually asleep when she visited him right afterward, so Sakura tended to take a much-needed nap whilst she visited him. It never failed to recharge her, but it still wasn’t nearly enough to prepare her for the emotionally-charged encounters with Sasuke that always came next.

She, Naruto and Kakashi had agreed to visit Sasuke at different times (he had finally relented and allowed Naruto to see him too) mostly so that they could keep him company for longer. As such, Naruto stopped by in the mornings, Kakashi usually lingered during lunch (even though he was already there for guard duty anyway), and Sakura made an appearance in the evenings.  
At first, the visits were stilted and unnerving. She never knew what to say as any little thing would set Sasuke off – but remaining in silence would annoy him too. They were short visits. As she grew more used to them, however, Sakura stopped being bothered by the silence, which made her less fidgety and tense, and this, in turn, calmed Sasuke. She’d taken to bringing her chakra threads to the hospital, and she usually practiced with them while Sasuke stonily faced the window. Eventually, it would be time for her next appointment (most civilians knew by then about the Harunos’ financial troubles and were open to offering Sakura various jobs in the evenings) so she’d bid Sasuke goodbye and hurry to complete her next task. Some jobs were easy, such as babysitting kids, retrieving a cat from a tree and so forth. Others, such as wall painting, were more challenging because of the day’s exhaustion, but Sakura would force herself to power through them anyway. In the case of wall painting, she would practice the exercise Itachi had taught her, for example, and to her surprise, she did see some progress. Most of the jobs she took on were so repetitive, however, that Sakura would usually zone out. Sometimes, she’d gather her last dregs of motivation and go over the katas she was meant to be learning, though on other days she was too tired for even that. By the time she finally finished those jobs as well, Sakura was usually so exhausted that she went home and to bed immediately, regardless of the early hour. And then it would start over again the next day.

Time passed. Sakura’s training with Itachi slowly but surely became more manageable, to the point where she was no longer so beat during their break that she actually started to use it to talk to him.  
“You have adapted admirably,” Itachi told her after a week.  
Sakura beamed at him. “You really think so?”  
“Yes. I can tell that you are putting much effort into your training.” Itachi paused. “It feels gratifying to see your progress.”  
Sakura smiled. “Shannaro!” she cheered loudly. But she shouldn’t have celebrated so soon, because…  
“I have been thinking,” Itachi said, staring at the lake.  
Uh-oh. Please don’t tell me he’ll stop training me, Sakura thought, panicked.  
“I believe we should move our training to the next stage,” Itachi said.  
“The next stage?” Sakura questioned.  
“When I was a child,” he explained, “whenever I mastered a move normally, my father would make me practice it whilst upside-down on a tree until I became proficient at it. Once I had mastered it, he would make me do it on top of the lake. Only then did he consider it a skill properly learned.”  
Sakura gaped at him. She could barely hold out her horse positions normally, never mind upside down on aflipping tree! What the hell?  
“You want me to do everything while tree walking?” she cried with horror.  
“Of course not.”  
Phew. Thank god –  
“I want you to begin practicing whilst underwater,” Itachi amended sensibly.  
Say what?! Sakura gaped at him with horror.  
“I’m supposed to practice my kata – while doing the airstep?!”  
“Yes.”  
Oh, shit.  
As usual, when Itachi got it into his head that Sakura could do something, he expected her to. In an odd way, it made her happy that he had so much faith in her. Even so, most of the time, she just wanted to punch him.  
The addition of the airstep to her training regimen made things a lot harder. Not only did it force Sakura to continuously pay attention to and regulate the chakra in her feet (something which was even harder than water-walking due to wind changes), she also had to channel chakra into her lungs so that she could stay underwater for more than a few minutes – all while doing the actual training exercises. Last but not least, she also had to cycle her chakra around her body in order to keep herself warm. And that was just chakra-wise. Physically speaking, moving within the water was a lot harder than normal, more so when upside down.  
But that wasn’t even the end of it. Into the beginning of water-based training, Itachi had confessed to her that he had ‘a mild lung problem’, so he could not stay underwater as long as Sakura could. As such, he explained, he would need to find a way to communicate to her which moves to practice from outside of the water. As this was the most he’d spoken to her all morning and it truly seemed to matter to him (and also because she wanted to take a break), Sakura sat down with him and they began to brainstorm ideas for possible communication methods. Even if Sakura thought Itachi was insane for over complicating things to this degree – he was bound to see reason eventually and a break was a break.  
Itachi did not see reason.  
At some point, Sakura remembered the trick he’d taught her to use chakra in order to send out an SOS signal. What if they took that concept, and built on it? She’d said it mostly to add something to the conversation and not feel like a complete moron next to Itachi’s shining intellect, but unfortunately, he actually liked her idea. In fact, he was immediately sold on it, going off on a tangent on associating certain chakra frequencies with certain moves and whatnot whilst Sakura gaped at him. Still, it was the most excited she had seen him in a long while, and, though he didn’t necessarily look happy, he at least seemed alive, which was a hell of a lot better than his usual zombie-like expressions. So, mostly for Itachi’s sake (Sakura didn’t think it would work), they continued to build on that idea.  
It took a lot of testing and fine-tuning. Sakura wasn’t used to sensing for such long periods of time and often got splitting headaches for her troubles, though she mentioned none of this. And so, during Sakura’s allotted break time (which was longer now that water training was involved), Itachi would flare his chakra in a certain way, and Sakura would try to memorize the feel of its wave length and commit it to memory. Then she would try to replicate it and it’d be Itachi’s turn to sense it, and so forth. That way, they could ideally communicate without the need for words. For the time being, the only ‘words’ in Sakura’s repertoire were names of certain kicks and punches, but Itachi seemed to think that it was possible to create an entire language through chakra sensing.  
“How would we even call it?” Sakura had joked. “The Itasaku language?”  
“…”  
“Sakuita? Tetsusaku?”  
The ideas were jokes, obviously. Sakura was still pretty skeptical about the whole thing and doubted they’d ever even need a name for the language, as it would probably never come to be. Honestly, it felt like such a big effort to communicate a single word to each other… a simple sentence seemed downright impossible, never mind an entire language.  
“Hm,” was Itachi’s only contribution. It was clear he didn’t care about the name. “Your break is over, Sakura.”  
Great.

Needless to say, Sakura was starting to hate water. The worst part of the underwater training was, Itachi somehow always knew when she was slacking off. It was like he had a byakugan or something, he could even tell when she was doing one of the forms wrong, even if he couldn’t see her. When Sakura had questioned him about it, he’d chalked it up to above-average sensory abilities. It figured he would be a genius at everything. To Sakura’s dismay, after she’d reached a certain level at sensing, she couldn’t improve beyond that. Apparently, that was the case for most people. It only made her feel even more jealous of the Hyuga.

More time passed and Sasuke was discharged from the hospital. After they’d told her he was gone when she went to visit him, Sakura had assumed that he didn’t want her company and had fled at his earliest convenience. After all, he’d had plenty of time to tell her of his discharge, and yet he hadn’t.  
Due to this, she was mightily surprised when Kakashi dropped by to chastise her for not visiting him. She’d been sitting on her rooftop, a chakra thread in her hands when he appeared. It was already dark out and Sakura had been sleepy, about to go to bed. Kakashi’s reprimand had immediately woken her up. How was she supposed to know Sasuke wanted her to visit him if he never said anything?  
“But he never told me to!” Sakura exclaimed.  
Kakashi plopped down next to her and fixed her with his one-eyed stare. “I distinctly remember him asking you to come back on your first visit. Or was that my imagination, Sakura-chan?”  
Sakura gaped. That was true. “I… uh.” She was at a loss for words. “Did he tell you he wanted me there?” she asked after a moment, incredulous.  
“Not in those exact words, no,” Kakashi said. “But after so long watching him twenty for seven, I’ve gotten pretty good at making educated guesses about his mood swings.”  
“Oh.” Sakura frowned. “And you really think he… misses me?” The word sounded alien in her tongue.  
Kakashi sighed, running a hand through his hair. It was only then, once she no longer felt like he was accusing her, that Sakura took a good look at him. He looked worse for wear… she couldn’t exactly place why – there was nothing about Kakashi’s complexion that would tell you he was going through a rough patch. In fact, he looked physically healthier than ever. But something about his expression, his mannerisms… there was just something that made Sakura think that he had been very affected by Sasuke’s situation, perhaps even more than her and Naruto.  
Kakashi was frowning. “Hmm… Sakura-chan,” he said quietly. “I know Sasuke may not be the most pleasant fellow around right now… but Sakura, trust me when I say, your visits really did help him.”  
“I… I’m not so sure about that, sensei. I just don’t know what to do with myself when I’m around him.” Sakura shrugged miserably. “Naruto probably has no problem at all coming up with random conversation topics, but I…”  
“Naruto’s visits are probably worse for Sasuke than yours,” Kakashi interjected.  
“Worse? What do you mean?” Sakura eyed him dubiously. “That’s impossible.”  
Kakashi sighed. “Just think about it, Sakura-chan. Those two, they’re rivals. That’s the root of their bond… and when one party can no longer compete, when the dynamic shifts so much it can no longer go back to what it used to be…”  
“Oh.” Sakura stared at the floor in shame. As usual, she’d been clueless. She suddenly understood what Kakashi was talking about and felt like an idiot for not realizing it sooner. It was a well-known fact that Sasuke had always been better than Naruto at everything. Their entire relationship boiled down to Naruto running to catch up with Sasuke, always behind him, his hand outstretched, and Sasuke pushing himself harder and harder to stay in the lead, occasionally glancing back to smirk challengingly at Naruto. It was how they worked. They were friends, but they were rivals before that.  
All of that was gone now. Sasuke was blind now.  
Now Naruto was in the lead, was miles ahead of Sasuke, and it wasn’t even thanks to his own effort that he’d made it there. Any challenge or provocation Naruto might have issued in the past could not be made now. Any taunting comments about being the better shinobi were no longer within Sasuke’s possibilities either. What were they even supposed to talk about? Sakura knew Naruto. He was a loudmouth, probably a little insensitive at times… he might not have grasped how some of his old comments might hurt to the present Sasuke, how much it must sting to–  
She sighed.  
“Alright,” Sakura said. “I’ll start visiting him again. Can you give me his address?”  
“Atta girl,” Kakashi said happily, patting her head as he handed her a piece of paper with the address. He must’ve known she’d say yes.  
“I’m not a dog!” Sakura complained, though she was smiling anyway.  
Stupid crush. Grrrr. She hated that she thought he was hot! CHA! Why does he have to be so cool even when he’s doing his best to be the most uncool person ever?? It really wasn’t fair.  
“Speaking of…” Kakashi said. “It’s been a while since you’ve walked the ninken.”  
“Oh,” Sakura said. She really wanted to say yes to the unasked question. It would mean she’d see Kakashi more often. On the other hand, she had so much on her plate already…  
“I can’t, sensei,” she mumbled sadly.  
“Hm?” Kakashi cocked his head to the side. He mustered her. “Is everything alright?”  
Sakura stared at her lap. “Not really…”  
“Will you tell sensei what’s wrong?”  
She’d been against telling her teammates, deliberately leaving out her parents’ demands to stop being a ninja when she’d met them, but somehow, when Kakashi asked, she just had to tell him the truth. So she did.  
It came spilling out like vomit, mortifying and unavoidable. And yet, as Sakura explained everything, from her grandfather’s illness, to her new job, to her resolve to keep training anyway, Kakashi listened. He didn’t speak a word until she was finished. Finally, she stopped talking and looked at him, half-scared, half-expectant.  
“I see,” was all he said.  
Sakura stared at her lap. He was very still and didn’t move. Was he mad at her?  
“Sensei?” she questioned hesitantly.  
“Sakura-chan,” Kakashi said at last. “There are some things I don’t understand. Why did your parents sign you up for the Academy in the first place if they didn’t want you to be a ninja?”  
“Um…” Sakura hesitated. “They’re… we’re immigrants. All immigrants are required to send their children to the Academy until they reach the age of ten. At that point, they can transfer to a civilian school if they want.”  
“And why didn’t they transfer you?”  
“I…” she paused. This was all pretty personal stuff. Sakura realized she’d never spoken to anyone directly about it. “Well… I had a serious case of… um.” She averted her eyes in shame.  
“Of what?”  
“Um, bullying. Until I was seven or so. A lot of the children at school would, well, do that, but the ones from the neighborhood too, and even my cousins…” She felt her cheeks flush in mortification. “I used to be so meek and dumb, I never even tried to defend myself or even run away – I just stood there and let it happen. My parents didn’t even know it was happening or anything, I never told anyone. And then I met Ino and things started looking up. I learned to stand up for myself, and the fights I couldn’t fight, Ino did. And I guess my parents noticed the change and thought it was good for me. They didn’t want me to be a ninja, but… they wanted me to be happy.”  
She stared at her lap.  
“I see…” Kakashi said. He sighed, facing the sky above. “I don’t understand why you want to be a ninja.”  
Sakura jolted. “Wh-what?!”  
“Don’t mistake me,” Kakashi continued. “I’m not saying you can’t be. All I’m saying is… when I was a kid, I was never given a choice.”  
“Huh?” Sakura glanced at him curiously.  
“It was all my father ever talked to me about, the way we… spent time together,” Kakashi said in a monotone that bellied deep feelings. “It was all I knew. Then – he died. And I continued doing what I knew.”  
Sakura stared at him with wide-eyes. It sounded like his dad had died when Kakashi was still very young. This time it was Kakashi’s turn to look away, at the stars overhead.  
“But – but you love your job!” she exclaimed.  
“No,” Kakashi said drily. “I really don’t.”  
A long silence.  
“When I started at the Academy, I did enjoy it. But only because I was better than everyone else and I was a little shit who liked to rub that in. Then reality started and I actually had to use those skills to kill, to hurt, to destroy… I hate that.”  
“I… but that’s… why don’t you just quit?” Sakura exclaimed.  
Kakashi continued to stare into the night. “Old dogs don’t learn new tricks, Sakura-chan.”  
He turned back toward her and ruffled her hair, and Sakura could tell he was about to end the conversation with some bullshit joke, but she did not let him.  
“I want the real answer, sensei,” she said seriously. “You have a right to be happy. If you’re going to be sad, there had better be a damn good reason for it.” She crossed her arms and looked at him expectantly, and Kakashi chuckled, but it sounded so, so sad it made Sakura want to start crying on the spot.  
“It’s true I could get a new job,” Kakashi said after a moment. “But I love Konoha too much for that. I don’t mean to sound conceited, but if I quit, as you say, it would damage our village more than you know.”  
“So what! Screw the village! You’ve served for a long time! Don’t they owe that much to you, at least? A nice retirement?”  
“Sakura-chan, don’t you understand? There is no retiring in our line of work.”  
“Just get another job!”  
“Even if I did that, it would never stop.”  
“What wouldn’t stop?” Sakura demanded. “Sensei, what wouldn’t stop?” But Kakashi didn’t answer for the longest time.  
“My life.”  
Sakura gasped and started crying. Kakashi’s eye widened. “Wait! I didn’t mean it like that,” he said, waving his hands quickly. “I would never kill myself. Never.”  
“Then what do you mean,” she demanded thickly, snot dripping down her nose.  
“I… I was just looking for an euphemism to talk about having nightmares, chronic depression, trauma… you know, the whole lot, without actually mentioning them. I was not alluding to wanting to… that.”  
If his words were meant to be reassuring, they had the opposite effect. Sakura only started crying harder, and Kakashi hovered next to her awkwardly, looking like he didn’t know what to do with himself. When she next looked up, he had left.

Except when she climbed off the roof and back to her room, she realized he must’ve come back, for there was something sitting on her desk. Blinking away her tears, she focused on the object he’d given her. It was… a ramen bowl.  
Sakura was so shocked by it, she started giggling hysterically.  
Stupid Kaka-sensei. Always making her laugh when she was supposed to be crying. What an infuriating, amazing person he was.  
The bowl had a post-it note taped to it.

> _Soup cheers me up._   
>  _Always works, just like that._   
>  _But please return this to the cook,_   
>  _Teuchi has a mean right hook._   
>  _-K_

Sakura grinned at it. Typical. She surmised this was Kakashi’s roundabout way of trying to cheer her up after letting it slip that his life was a literal tragedy, since apparently the only coping method in his arsenal was… soup. So naturally he’d gone to the ramen stand to get her miso soup. She rolled her eyes fondly. Come to think of it, this was the first time he’d ever paid for one of her meals. Typical. Breaking her chopsticks apart with every intention of savoring it, Sakura blew at the bowl.  
“Itadakimasu!”  
But even as she ate, she continued to think about their conversation. Kakashi was an extremely private person. If he had shared something like that with her, it was probably for a reason. He was trying to tell her something. He was trying to tell her that, had the choice been his, he’d have never taken the path of the ninja. He was telling her to truly sit down and think about what she wanted to do.  
And the truth was… after hearing what he had to say about life as a ninja, she wasn’t sure she wanted that anymore. Did she want to make a living off of killing? Of murdering innocents? Of following superior’s orders without question? Did she really want to lead a life fraught with constant death around the corner? She already had horrible night terrors and escaped death by the skin of her teeth not only once but twice since graduation. First at Wave, then with Orochimaru. And even now, at thirteen years of age, barely into the start of her career, Sakura had already had two panic attacks in the last week.  
So… did she want to keep going? Did she want to be a ninja? She didn’t know.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Your thoughts?  
> By the way, I wrote a one shot about Tobirama getting reincarnated into Sakura’s body just for shits and giggles, in case you wanna check it out.  
> I have mixed feelings rereading it. Is it boring? Kakashi feels a bit OOC in telling Sakura all this, but to be honest, I do think they have a deeper bond than he had to any of his students at that point in time… ughhhh just tell me what you think xD  
> Anyway, chaooo


	16. Revelations

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> New chapterrrrrr!!!

  
  


The very next day, Sakura had gone to visit Sasuke at his apartment. To her disappointment, he gave no signs of having missed her. But something felt… not quite the same. Sakura was aware that she could’ve just resumed her usual routine of visits sitting in silence with a chakra string, but today, it was different. There was a tension in the air, a tension about Sasuke. Dare she say that he seemed to be anticipating something? She wasn’t sure what, exactly, until he spoke up:

“I’ve been learning sensing.”

Sakura stared at him, surprised he’d start a conversation. “Oh. That’s great,” she said after a moment. “It’s a great idea!”

“Hn.”

There was an awkward silence.

“So?” Sakura questioned uncomfortably. “How is it coming along?”

Sasuke frowned but didn’t say anything. At this point, however, Sakura knew him well enough to interpret his expression. She remembered their training in Wave, when he had refused to ask her for tips on tree-walking out of pride, and smiled despite herself. Back then, she had refused to volunteer the information unless he at least asked for it, but now was different. He was blind and he could use all the help he could get.

“I’m not a sensory type,” she said after a pause. “But maybe I can help you a little with the basics?”

Sasuke turned toward her, his expression unreadable. That was what he wanted, right? The reason why he’d brought up the topic? And yet – he wasn’t agreeing, even as the silence stretched on.

“Sasuke?” Sakura questioned.

“There’s no need for your charity,” he spat suddenly. “I can do it myself.”

Sakura reeled back. “What?” Her eyes narrowed. “I was just trying to be helpful.”

“I don’t need your help!”

Sakura stared at him incredulously. How could he say that? They were a team! Was it always going to be like this? Sakura looking on from the sidelines as Naruto and Sasuke did their thing? She was _so_ done with that!

“Yes you _do_ ,” she bit back vehemently.

“No, I don’t!”

“Yes you do! If only you’d get off your high horse and accept people’s help for once–”

“What would _you_ know about that?” Sasuke ground out.

“A great deal more than you, clearly!” Sakura snapped.

“Stop patronizing me!” he hissed.

“I’m not!” Sakura retorted hotly. “Do you even know what that word means?”

“You’re doing it again,” he accused. “What, do you think you’re better than me now? Above me?”

“What the hell is wrong with you!” Sakura shouted. “You’re delusional!”

Sasuke’s teeth clenched. “And you’re _useless_!”

Sakura reeled back as though he’d slapped her. That one word had had so much bite, it had physically hurt. It was clear he’d meant it, too. Feeling more hurt than she cared for him to notice, Sakura got up, her throat clogging painfully. She didn’t want to speak again, didn’t want Sasuke to know how much that had gotten to her. Without another word, she stormed toward the door, stalked outside and shut it with a bang.

  
  


As soon as she was out of hearing range, Kakashi ambushed her.

“Was that really smart?” he started to say tiredly, but Sakura had had about enough of his lecturing her – crush or no.

“I don’t want to hear it! Go away!” 

Kakashi kept pace. “Sakura-chan…”

“No, don’t you ‘Sakura-chan’ me!” she yelled.

“You know Sasuke’s got it rough,” Kakashi chastised. “You’ve got to take it easy on him.”

“I don’t care if he’s got it rough,” Sakura snapped. “That doesn’t give him a right to treat me like filth!”

Kakashi sighed. They walked on in silence for a second until–

“Sakura-chan, is there any reason for your sudden lack of romantic interest in Sasuke?”

In light of that what-the-hell non sequitur, Sakura stopped walking to outright gape at him. She felt her face flush beet red. Had he really just asked her that?

Seconds ticked by and Kakashi kept looking at her expectantly, as though his question was perfectly within the realm of the normal.

Dismayed, Sakura realized she’d have to say something.

“…why do you care?” she muttered cagily.

“Just answer and I’ll explain.”

But Sakura wasn’t listening anymore: she was panicking.

_He’s onto me! Shit! What do I say now? I have to get him off my trail! But how?_ _When_ _he’s curious,_ _Sensei_ _is like a Labrador after a bunch of sausages!_ _Change the topic!_

“Ah! Sensei! I just realized I have a question to ask! Do you know a good place to buy sausages? I mean, since you have the ninken…”

Where the hell did that come from? Sakura mentally hit herself. That ought to be the worst distraction in the history of _ever_! _Shiiiiii_ –

Kakashi was staring blankly at her.

“Did you just say… sausages?”

Ugh! Idiot Sakura! What on Earth had possessed her to start blabbering about sausages?   
“Yeah, sausages! Um. Because at the restaurant I work at we have sausages,” she invented quickly, “so this old man was complaining about the quality the other day, and I was talking to my manager about sausage marketability… and… er.”

At the sight of Kakashi’s increasingly amused expression, Sakura decided to just shut up. She was an idiot. End of story. 

“Sausage… marketability?”

“Uh-huh.”

Sakura was expecting him to call her out on her crush any second now and start yelling at her. But that didn’t happen.

No, instead, one second passed, then another, and then… Kakashi started giggling – _giggling!_ – which evolved into quiet laughter. He’d probably not be laughing if he’d discovered her secret affections for him so that was good, right?

“Sausage marketability,” Kakashi whispered after a moment, looking winded. “I’ll have to remember that.” He gave her his usual eye-crinkle smile in return. “But as I recall, we were rather in the middle of a conversation.”

Sakura was about to start nodding happily, but wait– she felt her stomach sink instead, recalling the topic. Shit. Now he’d ask her about her lack of crush on Sasuke again! And right on cue, Kakashi was already looking at her expectantly.

“About the question I asked you… you were saying?”

Sakura frowned. “I just don’t have a crush on him anymore,” she said defensively. “What’s so strange about that?”

“But why?”

 _Because you’re too cool for school you impudent jerk! Cha!_ But of course she didn’t say that.

“I just…” she stuttered. “Well… since the fallout Sasuke and I had over the chunin exams… I guess I sort of stopped adoring him starting then, until at some point… I just didn’t like him anymore. I mean I do like him, but not _like_ like him, you know?” Did that sound believable? Well, it was the truth. But she really hoped Kakashi wouldn’t realize who her new crush was…

On his part, Kakashi was rubbing his temples tiredly, muttering something that sounded suspiciously like ‘teenage drama’. 

“I imagined it’d be something like that,” he told her frankly. “But Sakura-chan – can’t you see how this might look to Sasuke?”

Sakura paused. She was still mad at him for calling her useless to her face. “Huh? Other than me telling him off for being a stuck-up bastard incapable of teamwork? No, I haven’t the foggiest.”

Kakashi sighed again. “Now you’re just being willfully obtuse.”

“Enlighten me then,” she sniffed.

“Just think, Sakura. Sasuke loses his eyes and you lose your interest in him – both, coincidentally, around the same time. Can’t you see what that might look like to him?”

Sakura gasped. “But I’d stopped crushing on him before that! I even told It- my friend about it, before any of this mess even happened! I’m serious.”

“I believe you, Sakura,” Kakashi assured her. “But Sasuke doesn’t know that, now does he? I’m not saying he necessarily welcomed your… uh, attentions, but you can see how your change in behavior might have been misinterpreted by him, yes?”

Sakura deflated.

“I haven’t changed my behavior that much,” she groused.

Kakashi stared at her blankly. 

“Ugh, fine. I still stand by what I said earlier, but I also get your point,” Sakura relented. “I’ll apologize to Sasuke. Even if I still feel like he was the one being a jerk.”

Kakashi gave her his signature eye-crinkle smile.

“That’s good. I’m leaving him in your capable hands then, Sakura-chan.”

Sakura blinked. That was an odd phrasing.

“Huh? What’d you mean?” she questioned. “What about _your_ capable hands? Won’t you be there as well?”

“Afraid not. I’ve got an important task coming up.”

“What?!” Sakura stared at him aghast. “But you can’t leave! What will Sasuke say?”

Kakashi scratched his head sheepishly and didn’t reply.

Sakura glared at him. “So you’re asking me to be there for Sasuke but you can’t extend him the same courtesy?”

“The choice isn’t mine,” Kakashi admitted. “Unfortunately, this, uh, task requires me specifically. But it’s within the village, so while I won’t be able to stay on rotation as Sasuke’s guard, I’ll still be around.”

“And you’re leaving me to keep him company?! Sensei, are you insane?”

“Ma, ma, Sakura-chan. As they say, insanity and genius are only two sides of the same coin.”

“They don’t say that!”

“Whoops. My bad then.” And with that, Kakashi disappeared in a puff of smoke. 

Miffed, Sakura huffed and stared after him with puffed up cheeks. She would apologize to Sasuke – fine – but only once she’d cooled down.

  
  
  
  
  


In another part of the village, Mebuki Haruno was accosting a chunin.

“What do you mean, it isn’t within your jurisdiction?” she said softly. Her voice was silky calm, but by the way the chunin manning the mission desk was flinching, one would’ve thought she was bellowing at him with a megaphone.

“I… I’m so sorry ma’am,” the man stuttered. “I have no prior experience dealing with civilian matters at all…”

“Is that so,” replied Mebuki. The chunin nodded nervously. “Then,” she continued, “you’ll have no problem with letting me talk to the person who passed the most recent bill, will you?”

“I… uhhh. I don’t know who that is?” the chunin ventured. “We normally don’t concern ourselves with these things, you see…”

“I do.” Mebuki smiled lethally. “Truly. But I am sure your outstanding ninja prowess will be enough for you to find out the identity of your own superior, no?”

“It’s not so simple!” the chunin protested. “I, for one, would need to know which one of my many superiors even approved that bill, which, mind, I have no clue as to who it could have been since no one even cares about civilian affairs in the first place–!”

Mebuki coughed delicately. “You could do that, or… you could just ask the hokage himself, hmm?”

The chunin sputtered. “Hokage-sama?!”

“Do you require a hearing aid, dear?”

“But – but ma’am…! We cannot possibly bother him with this! He has way too much work right now–“

“Then find me the person who passed this bill,” Mebuki enunciated with a delicate shrug. “One way or another, I will not be leaving here without talking to the one in charge of this atrocity.” With a flick of her wrist, she showed off a piece of paper which she’d been holding in her hand. It was clearly the aforementioned bill. The chunin eyed it dubiously.

“But ma’am!” Truth be told, he was starting to look harried, and so was the gigantic line of waiting ninja behind them.

“Very well then,” said Mebuki. “You leave me no choice.” 

“U-uh?”

“In that case, I want to speak with Hatake Kakashi.”

“What?” someone behind her exclaimed. 

Mebuki turned around to face the speaker. “Yes.”

“You know him?” the guy asked skeptically. He had a bland look on his face which was completed by the senbon he was chewing on. Mebuki eyed it surreptitiously, then brushed her bangs to the side.

“Indeed, we are acquainted. Do you know where I may find him?” 

The senbon-chewer and the chunin manning the desk exchanged mystified glances. 

“Ahh, that would be me,” a new voice pitched in. From somewhere behind the line, Kakashi himself was waving at them. “I was actually on my way to a debriefing and I couldn’t help but notice this line… and then I heard you talking about me.” He gave Mebuki a happy eye-crinkle smile. “So here I am.” 

Having said his piece, Kakashi buried his hands in his pockets and looked at Mebuki expectantly.

On her part, Mebuki appeared pleased with his appearance. 

The guy with the senbon looked spooked. “Wait. You guys _actually_ know each other?”

“Why would I lie about such a thing?” Mebuki questioned, just as Kakashi gave a lazy nod to the other. 

Mebuki turned away from the man and toward Kakashi himself. 

“Hatake-san, it’s good to see you. I’m looking for the man who approved the latest bill,” she told him without fanfare, “and I was wondering if you could help me with that. You see, I have some choice words to say to him.” She smiled primly, taking in the expressions of shock and awe of all those watching. “Or her, as it were.”

“Well, I’m… flattered by your faith in me,” said Kakashi dubiously.

“Does that mean you’ll help me?”

Kakashi scratched his head and stared at the sky for a moment. The crowd around them seemed to suck in a collective breath and then–

“Ma, why not?”

The senbon fell out of the other guy’s gaping mouth, just as a pleased smile spread over Mebuki’s lips. “Excellent. Let’s hear it then. Who wrote the bill?”

“I’m pretty sure that the guy you’re looking for is Danzo,” said Kakashi in an oddly cheerful voice. “I can escort you to him if you’d like.”

The guy with the senbon stared at Kakashi with bulging eyes, though Mebuki didn’t seem to notice. “That would be perfect, thank you.”

Kakashi smiled behind his mask. “It’s no trouble at all…”

  
  
  


  
  
  
  
  
  


If Sasuke had had eyes, he’d have glared at the door Sakura had just banged shut. As it was, he settled on turning away from it brusquely. He had half been expecting her to return crying after a few minutes, but she did not. Tch. Whatever. It wasn’t like he’d done anything wrong…

Itachi, meanwhile, was also disappointed at her continued absence. Whenever he was on guard duty and saw Sakura arrive in order to spend time with his brother, he always grew happy at seeing the two of them together. Sometimes he would fantasize about a different life, one where he had never been banned from Konoha, one where he would join them perhaps, or at least not feel so guilty whilst he watched over them. He had been sure, _so_ sure that Sakura would cheer Sasuke up somehow. It always worked when she tried it on him, after all. But nothing of the sort had happened. Instead, Sakura had gotten into a shouting match with his otouto and now Sasuke was moping and Itachi was stuck watching him be miserable. He absolutely couldn’t stand it. His poor baby brother… 

Impulsively, he jumped out of his hiding place, much to the horror of all the other ANBU on duty. For a moment, Itachi also felt horrified at himself. What had he been thinking?! But it was too late, for Sasuke had already heard him.

“Who’re you?” he asked in Itachi’s general direction. 

Itachi froze. “I’m afraid that’s classified,” he said very quietly. Obviously Sasuke wouldn’t recognize his voice, it was no longer that of a prepubescent boy, but a part of Itachi was still terrified he’d somehow be discovered.

“What are you doing in my flat?”

“Watching over you.” Well, that didn’t sound creepy at all… 

Sasuke’s head cocked. “So you’re one of those ANBU, huh?”

“Indeed.”

“Tch. Either you’re really pathetic at hiding or you want something,” Sasuke concluded.

Itachi paused. He actually did want something, namely to cuddle his baby brother and cheer him up, but he wasn’t sure that request would go over too well. Instead, Itachi looked around for some excuse.

“Do you have cleaning supplies?” he asked.

Sasuke ‘looked’ at him as if he’d gone crazy. “And you want to know that why…?”

Itachi didn’t say anything.

Sasuke glared in his general direction and scowled. “Tch. Over there.”

Pleased, Itachi nodded to himself and began opening the different kitchen cabinets until he found what he was looking for: a broom and mop. In a few steps, he crossed the room and handed the broom to Sasuke.

It took a moment for Sasuke to realize he was supposed to hold onto it. He did so awkwardly. Itachi crossed the room again whilst brandishing the mop. Then, he said:

“Attack me.”

The room went deadly silent. Even the ANBU guards seemed floored by Itachi’s request. Itachi didn’t see what was so weird about it. When he’d told Sakura the same thing, she’d taken it in stride. Sasuke was a little slower on the uptake.

“What,” he said blankly.

Itachi used the mop to gently knock it against his broom. “Use the broom,” he added.

Sasuke hesitantly raised the broom and pointed it in Itachi’s general direction. Itachi easily knocked it away with his own mop.

“You’ll have to try a little harder than that, Sasuke.”

These words seemed to do the trick. Incensed, Sasuke raised the broom again, swinging it more strongly this time. Itachi parried with the mop. “Better,” he said calmly. “But you’re not trying to pinpoint where I am based on my voice. Pay attention.”

Sasuke did. It was like a dam had opened. Suddenly, his previously vacant expression had turned determined, his teeth gritting, his muscles tensing, the pent up aggression finally finding release.

He was clumsy. The broom swung about blindly with each thrust, and were Itachi not as skilled at bojutsu, Sasuke’s flat might have ended up completely ravaged. Thankfully, Itachi was _that_ skilled, and so he easily made sure to parry any blows that came too close to hitting anything breakable – including himself. He knew Sasuke didn’t see it that way, but the ability to train with him again filled Itachi with happiness. 

He felt selfish. How could he be happy when his brother was suffering so?

But he also felt proud. Sasuke was strong. As their impromptu sparring session progressed, Itachi could see a marked improvement in Sasuke’s aim and technique. Despite the handicap, his little brother was thriving.

Once he had gotten over his initial reservations (and confusion), Sasuke began to really try. He didn’t know why any ANBU other than Kakashi would bother to talk to him, less so to challenge him to a fight, but did it really matter? The main thing was that he was fighting. He could _actually_ do this. 

At first he’d thought the weird ANBU was trying to make fun of him, the shamed last Uchiha, but he quickly ceased to care. The only thing that Sasuke could think about was that he was doing it – he was fighting again. He was doing it. He felt oddly grateful, but most of all, he didn’t feel that all-encompassing numbness anymore. That numbness which had taken over him in the past days. For once it was gone— giving way to anger, fear, pain, aggression. He swung the broom again and again. He was so, so mad at everything. At Orochimaru, for daring to take what was most precious to him and for succeeding. He was mad at Naruto for daring to be better than him suddenly. At Kakashi for acting like nothing was wrong. At Sakura, for treating him like he was made of glass, like he was some… some damsel in distress! He didn’t need help. But most of all, he was mad at himself, for not being strong enough. For being weak. For being _useless_.

He swung the broom again and again, and he shouted and raged, and it was cathartic.

  
  


Finally, the ANBU parried a blow so strong that the broom broke. Sasuke felt it twisting and cracking below him. He knew what it meant – he had lost – but he didn’t care. For once, he didn’t care. He sat down on the floor of his flat and just… breathed. In and out.

In and out.

Suddenly, it occurred to him that he felt better than he had in days. He listened absently to rummaging sounds that seemed to come from the kitchen area, but he didn’t care. He breathed in, out, in, out. He massaged a bruise. It hurt, but it was a good kind of ache. The kind he had missed.

A while later, the ANBU agent returned and the sounds of tearing duct tape returned with him. He was trying to fix the broken broom. Sasuke snorted. What an odd ANBU. “Leave it,” he said dismissively.

The ANBU continued to wrap the broken broom in duct tape. It was odd, but it made Sasuke smile for some reason. He hid it behind his collar. “Tch. You’re a weirdo, you know that?”

  
  
  
  
  
  


“Here we are,” Kakashi told Mebuki. “That guy over there – that’s Danzo.”

Mebuki looked across the street pensively. “Why haven’t you brought me to his office? I feel like this isn’t an adequate place for a private conversation.”

They were, indeed, in the middle of a bustling street. Danzo was walking a few paces ahead of them, conversing with a tall, blonde woman and what looked to be the head medic. Mebuki frowned.

“You don’t seriously mean for me to interrupt them, Hatake?”

Kakashi shrugged. “Well, he’s a busy guy. This is about as ‘unoccupied’ as you’re going to find him.” _And you don’t want to be alone in a room with him, trust me._

Right in that second, the blonde woman next to Danzo turned around and locked eyes with them. Her eyebrows shot into the air.

“Kakashi…san?” she cocked her head to the side, eyes sliding toward Mebuki, then settling back on him.

“Yo!” Kakashi greeted Rio. A part of him wanted to ask her what she was doing out in the daylight like a normal person, but that probably wouldn’t go over well. He wondered if maybe she spent more time outside than he knew. Did she take walks around Konoha often? Dressed like a normal woman? His thoughts were interrupted by Mebuki’s _fantastically_ timed question:

”Excuse me, are you Danzo-Dan’s secretary?”

Kakashi almost lost it right then. Meanwhile, Rio’s eyebrow twitched.  
“Um. No.” There was an uncomfortable silence. “…did you need something?”

“Just a minute of Danzo-san’s time,” Mebuki replied with a beatific smile.

Rio squinted at her, nonplussed, then looked at Kakashi again.  
“Alright…” she said slowly, questioningly. “I can pass it on…” But as it turns out, that wasn’t necessary, because both Danzo and the head medic had turned around to look at them, Danzo with a particularly ugly sneer on his face – reserved just for Kakashi.

“Hatake,” he said unpleasantly.

“Danzo,” Kakashi retorted jovially. “You look like you’ve smelled something foul. Is everything alright?”

Danzo glared at him coldly. “I will be better once you get out of my sight.”

“Ah, ah. But there’s no need to be rude,” Kakashi chimed. “You see, I actually come bearing eager civilian folk awaiting your counsel.”

“Allow me to doubt that.”

“As a matter of fact, she’s standing right next to me.”

All gazes suddenly honed in on Kakashi’s right, where Mebuki was impassively gazing back with an unamused curve to her lips.

Danzo frowned. The head medic looked politely curious. Rio’s eyebrow was twitching.

“Can I help you,” Danzo said after a moment, eyeing Mebuki like some sort of cockroach he’d found inside his fridge.

“As a matter of fact, yes,” she said pleasantly. “You see, I was wondering who had written this bill.” She brandished her purse and retrieved the printed bill like one might a weapon.

There was a poignant silence.

“So? _Did_ you write this, Danzo-san?”

Danzo eyed the bill. “I’m sorry,” he told her with a shark-like smile, “but I’m in a hurry to conduct some business.”

He brushed past her and continued on his way. For a moment, everyone (including the head medic, who had just been ditched) stared after him. But Mebuki wasn’t about to give up so easily.

“Oh, that’s perfectly alright,” she assured Danzo as she caught up with him, keeping pace easily. “I’m sure we can settle things while you walk there, yes?”

Danzo quickened his pace. “I don’t believe there is anything to be settled.”

Mebuki smiled acerbically and lengthened her stride. “On the contrary. If you’d prefer not to settle it now, we could go to court instead.”

Danzo’s eyes narrowed. He looked positively murderous. “What was your name again…?”

“Mebuki. Mebuki Haruno.”

“Well, Haruno. By all means,” he said in a long suffering voice, “feel free to tell me, _what is your complaint_?”

“Trust me, if I listed every single little thing, I do believe we wouldn’t get anywhere today. But,” she added graciously, “as I wouldn’t want to hold you up… well, I was wondering how anyone could have the audacity to dare keep me a prisoner in my own village? And take over fifty percent of my earnings henceforth?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Oh? Do allow me to doubt that, Danzo-san. You see, this might come as a surprise to you, but civilians still retain enough faculties to read. And as it happens, I have read this bill and I _know_ what the fine print says.” For a moment, Danzo looked so taken aback by Mebuki’s smouldering look that he actually stopped walking. Mebuki took the chance to shove the bill into his face. “You’ll find what I’m talking about on page three, fourth paragraph. Just in case you needed a refresher.”

Danzo retrieved the damned papers slowly, that same collected, condescending expression settling over his features again. “Well,” he said coldly. “I have no idea what you’re talking about, Haruno. If that was all… have a good day.”

Mebuki glared at him. “If you don’t agree to settle, then be assured that we _will_ solve this in the Civil Court.”

Danzo sneered. “You’ll find that in a ninja village, run by ninja, for ninja, the ruling of the _civilian_ court may surprise you.”

Mebuki smiled at him, flashing her pearly white teeth. “I’ll make sure to pass that on to my lawyer then. Thank you for your time.”

Grunting, Danzo glared at her one last time and strode off.

  
  


“Just where did you find this woman?” Rio questioned with slightly widened eyes as they both watched her walk away.

“You could say that she found me,” Kakashi remarked.

Rio rolled her eyes. “Great. Now we’ve got a civilian overcomplicating the minefield that is our current politics.”

“Hmm. And how is that a bad thing?” 

Rio frowned at him, lowering her voice. “Believe it or not, Danzo-sama is trying to do right by this village–” Kakashi snorted, “– and I’m serious! Don’t you see? We’re on the brink of – …the chunin exams and yet you insist on upping the workload of the only person getting things done.”

Kakashi shrugged. “That would be a valid point, if Danzo was, as you put it, the only person getting things done.”

“You were at the council meeting too,” Rio countered. “You saw what those old geezers are like. They let themselves be held back by customs and tradition. What we need right now is someone who can get things done.”

Kakashi sighed. “Yes, yes, but what’s the point of getting things done if they’re the wrong things to do?”

“We’re never going to agree on this, are we?” Río groused.

“Nope,” Kakashi replied drolly.

Rio blinked. “Actually, didn’t the war concil mention you were supposed to help with sharing memories on the second exam? How’s that going?”

“...”

Rio’s eyes narrowed. “What?”

Kakashi shrugged. “I may or may not be on my way to go there right now.”

“Right now?” she gave him an odd look. “But it’s almost noon… don’t they usually meet at eight o’clock?”

There was a pregnant pause.  
“Wait,” said Rio. “Don’t tell me… You’re late, aren’t you?”

“Ma, lateness is a relative term.”

“So you realize we’re on the brink of an… an exam?”

“Ah, well. It’s just a few hours.”

Her mouth opened like a gaping fish. “A few… _hours!?_ ”

“Hmm. I should probably start heading there, huh?” Kakashi concluded, turning toward the general direction of his next planned location (the cenotaph). Meanwhile, Rio’s expression had gone through various stages, until finally settling on exasperation.

“The T&I building is in the opposite direction.”

“That so?”

He got a very unimpressed look in turn. “You know what?” Rio huffed. “Never mind. I’m escorting you there myself.”

With these words, she promptly grabbed his elbow and started to steer him into the correct direction.

“Ah… I can walk by myself?” Kakashi offered, staring at his elbow.

“Nice try, but no.”

Rio’s grip wasn’t strong, but in the end he let her drag him along anyway, though not without making a show of glaring at her balefully.   
“Is Ibiki going to be there?” Kakashi asked after a while. He really disliked the guy.

“How should I know? I wasn’t invited to the party,” Rio replied. “Not that I want to be there. Crap Cap pisses me off.”

Wait… what?

”Crap Cap?” It was Kakashi’s turn to almost gape.

”Ibiki,” said Rio slowly, as though explaining the sky was blue. “He’s always wearing that ugly bandana of his and has a crappy personality, so yeah.”

”Wouldn’t he be crap bandana then?”

”I guess. But Crap Cap just has more of a ring to it, don’t you think?”

”Hmm.”

Kakashi wondered idly whether she gave nicknames to more people as well and, if so, what his was. He didn’t get to ask because by then they had reached the T&I building. He and Rio most likely make an odd pair: Kakashi in his typical slouch with both hands in his pockets, and Rio dragging him by the elbow with an annoyed look on her face. 

They walked on until making it to a conference room, where Hiashi Hyuga, Inoichi Yamanaka, Shikaku Nara and Ibiki Morino were all waiting with frowns on their faces.

“Well, well, well…” Ibiki began, glaring at Kakashi. 

”Yo!”

Right on cue, Shikaku pinched his nose and muttered something that sounded suspiciously like ‘not this again’ yet the most surprising reaction was Inoichi’s: upon their entrance he gasped, as though stricken, but when Kakashi looked over at him, he found the man staring wide-eyed at Rio, who was in the process of turning to leave. Having noticed the stare, Rio turned back around and eyed Inoichi suspiciously. 

Seemingly catching up with the situation, Ibiki asked her: “Who’re you?”

Rio looked over at Kakashi. “I’m just delivering the stray,” she deadpanned, looking perfectly serious, though there was something mischievous about the glance Rio shot him. Kakashi noted distractedly that she had a dimple in her right cheek. “Anyway,” she shoved him no too gently into the room, “Terribly sport but we must part ways here, Kakashi–” 

Inoichi’s chakra flared harshly in that instant. His eyes were wide and glazed over, a strange expression on his face, as though having just seen a ghost. “Inoue,” he whispered brokenly. 

Everyone stared at him. 

“...that’s not my name,” Rio said after a tense pause. “You must’ve confused me with someone else.”

Meanwhile, Inoichi looked close to tears, his voice tinted with emotion. “Inoue…”

Kakashi felt a cold suspicion slowly begin to dawn on him even as Rio frowned at Inoichi. “Yamanaka-san, please don’t call me that again.”

“But...!” 

“Hey, man,” Shikaku cut in, placating, “maybe you should–”

Inoichi tore his grip away. “No!” he hissed. “You believe I wouldn’t recognize my own _daughter_?”

There was a shocked silence. Rio opened her mouth, then closed it. 

The dreadful feeling Kakashi had begun to feel in his gut took shape and expanded. Meanwhile, Shikaku, Hiashi and Ibiki were looking back and forth between Inoichi and Rio with looks of shock on their faces. Kakashi wasn’t nearly as surprised. Knowing what he did about Rio’s abilities and Danzo’s propensity to kidnap children, it all made perfect sense… 

_Looks like Danzo strikes again…_ he thought coldly. He should’ve known _. That damned rat…_

In that moment, Rio threw him a poisonous look and Kakashi knew she’d heard his thoughts, but he didn’t care. In fact, he welcomed it. Let her hear what other people thought about the ‘great’ Danzo. Let her get some criticism. She must’ve been brainwashed at some point, but perhaps she was like Tenzo and she’d see the light if only he tried hard enough– 

He opened his mouth, not even sure how to phrase what he wanted to say, but certain that he was going to tell Inoichi as much as he knew about Río’s circumstances.

But in that exact moment, Rio’s head whipped to the side so that her eyes stared directly into his, wide and scared, as if begging him to stay silent. Kakashi gritted his teeth. 

What he hadn’t expected was for Río to invade his personal space and start whispering into his ear. “ _Don’t_ ,” she hissed. “Don’t you dare tell him, Kakashi. This is my life and not yours; and a matter of national security besides. What do you _think_ will happen if Yamanaka goes on a crusade against Danzo-sama?”

Kakashi was so unnerved at Río whispering into his ear that it took him a moment to process what she’d actually said. Which was a moment too long, because by the time Río had stepped away, his mind was still in short-circuited mode, something not entirely advisable when surrounded by members of the torture and intelligence division. Who were all staring at him.

“Yes, Kakashi?” Inoichi questioned. “Were you going to say something?” 

Kakashi opened his mouth but nothing came out. He was starting to realize that Río was right. If Inoichi found out the truth… if the missing clan heiress reappeared after decades of radio silence, and just before the invasion too… It was the worst possible time for it to happen. The political unrest that the whole debacle would cause could become truly dangerous in combination with the invasion.

They couldn’t afford to let the news get out. Not now. As much as he hated to cover Danzo’s tracks in anything, if Inoichi started an all-out battle against him to recover his long-lost daughter now of all times, he would in doing so also start a slander campaign that would involve the entire village. The news would spread like wildfire – even to the neighbouring villages – and that would be the point of no return. Not only would it be a huge blow to Konoha’s reputation and stability, but also, when paired with the invasion, it could lead to a civil war – or worse.

And so, as much as the thought grated on his nerves, Kakashi knew that he would have to abide by Rio’s request to keep quiet. For now, that is. He suppressed a sigh and looked over to Rio, who nodded at him once shortly. 

“Maa, Yamanaka-san,” Kakashi said at last. “I was going to ask you whether you have any advice on cactus watering? Mine is dying and I don’t know what I did wrong.”

Inoichi’s teeth clenched. “Enough of your bullshit, Hatake!” he shouted. “Tell me what you were going to say!”

“Nothing!” Kakashi said, raising his hands innocently. “I swear it by my dying cactus.”

“But you stopped,” Inoichi countered. “You were going to say something – I _know_ you were – and then you looked at Inoue and now–!”

“Ma, ma, I was just… ah, reminded of a cactus by her eye color. That’s why I was looking at her.” 

“Hatake!!!” Inoichi grabbed his shoulders and started shaking him violently. 

Meanwhile, Kakashi felt unbelievably guilty but also resolute not to give anything away.

Rio was biting her lip while watching them, her expression clouded over. Even as Shikaku and Hiashi started trying to pry Inoichi off Kakashi, Kakashi’s focus was on Río. Unlike her, he couldn’t read minds, so he had no clue what she was thinking, whether she was freaking out over the looming threat of a war, or her parentage… but one thing was clear, she was just as lost on how to handle the situation as he was. He felt terrible. He felt like he’d not just failed Inoichi, but also Río herself by not saying anything, but on the other hand, what else was he supposed to do? He couldn’t jeopardize the village. Not now.

Eventually, Rio seemed to forcefully steel herself. She took a vacillating step forward and the movement was enough to immediately stop Inoichi’s rampage. Following that, he let go of Kakashi so suddenly that he nearly dropped to the floor.

However, no one seemed to care as the entire room honed in on Río.

“Listen closely, Yamanaka-san,” she said slowly, her voice carefully level. “I am not your daughter. I don’t know why you would think that, but I am not your daughter. Just because we resemble each other doesn’t mean I’m her. Yes?”

Inoichi was shaking his head. He looked over at Kakashi imploringly, but Kakashi looked away. 

“You _are._ Inoue. I can tell. Those eyes, they are the same as your mother’s. No one else in the family has them. It’s you. That nose, chin and build… it’s you. The shape of your jaw… No, I am certain.”

Rio looked away. She brushed a strand of hair out of her face, and it was in that moment that Kakashi smelled her fear. He didn’t think anyone else could’ve picked up on it, perhaps not even him if she hadn’t been standing so close, but in that moment he was sure of it. However calm she looked, there was a deep unrest boiling beneath the surface that she wasn’t letting anyone see. Almost as though she had heard his thoughts (which… was likely… shit) her expression suddenly hardened, her voice turning impersonal. “I’m not…” she said solemnly. “Yamanaka-san, it saddens me to tell you this, but I’m not whoever you think I am. I am not the Inoue you seem to remember, nor will I ever be.”

“Yes, you–”

“ _Please stop it_. I know who I am and I’m not your daughter. I understand that her loss must have hurt you…” there was a long pause, “…but I’m not her. I’m not. Please understand. Please, Yamanaka-san. I am just trying to do my job.”

Inoichi was looking at her with an absolutely heartbroken expression. After a long silence, Shikaku put a hand on his shoulder. “Give us a sec?” he suggested to the room at large.

Rio nodded and left the room. So did everyone else.

On his part, Kakahi knew eavesdropping was wrong, but he had already poked his nose into so many private affairs he was supposed to know nothing about that he rarely felt the sting of his conscience anymore. But if he was being honest with himself, he likely wouldn’t have listened in if it had been anyone else they were talking about.

“How can you be sure it’s her?” Shikaku was whispering.

“I just know, man, I just know!” Inoichi snapped. There was a beat of silence.

“Hey,” the Nara said quietly. “Hey, listen to me. This isn’t like you. It’s been so long ago that she disappeared… how can you tell?”

“I just… didn’t you hear what I said earlier? Chihiro is the only one in the family with green eyes. No one else has them. Not even Ino. But Inoue did… they’re the exact same, Shikaku, I’m telling you.”

“You don’t know anything about that woman out there,” Shikaku groused. “Just because she has green eyes and blonde hair doesn’t mean she’s Inoue.”

“But–”

“No, listen to me. Inoue went missing twenty years ago. That’s two decades. Two. Decades. Inoichi. That’s a long time and you know it. Don’t you think we’d have found her if she was really here all along?”

“It’s just… I just have this feeling deep in my bones–” Inoichi heaved a long sigh. “But perhaps you’re right. Perhaps the stress of this whole thing truly is getting to me. But I do feel like it could be her… just when I finally thought I’d found closure…” 

Without prompt, Río unexpectedly knocked and re-entered the room. Her jaw was clenched tight and her shoulders tense.

“Listen…” she muttered. “We can get a paternity test done, if you want.” She paused, her voice lowering the slightest bit. “Though… I can tell you already what the result will be… I’m not her.”

Inoichi’s eyes lit up. “Still! That sounds great, I appreciate it.”

Kakashi suppressed a sigh. He felt bad for the poor man. There was not a doubt in his mind that the results of the test would be exactly what Rio had said. A sham. But Inoichi had no way of knowing just who Rio was connected to, that she was from Root, that Danzo could pull any number of strings at the hospital. And even if Inoichi mistrusted the veracity of the results and tried to find out who she really was, Rio herself had said that her real face was known to very few people. 

Yes, Kakashi thought. No matter what Inoichi tried, it would all be futile. Río would lie straight to her father’s face if that’s what it took; she would do whatever Danzo told her to do just like a good little soldier.

  
  
  


Half an hour later, Sakura returned to Sasuke’s apartment with an old cardboard box clutched in her hands. An ANBU opened the door.

“Can I come in?” she questioned hesitantly.

The ANBU nodded his head. Sakura stepped into the flat and gingerly removed her shoes. Walking further into the home, she found Sasuke in the living room.

“Sakura,” he greeted.

He didn’t look mad. In fact, he looked oddly peaceful. Sakura thanked her lucky stars for that and stepped further into the room.

She paused. “Hey.” She hesitantly drew even closer to him. “I brought this.”

Extending her hands, she waited patiently until Sasuke had grasped her peace offering.

“It’s a box,” he concluded after a moment. “What’s inside?”

“It’s not a big deal or anything. Just…” Sakura scratched her cheek. “It’s got… uhh. Um.”

“What.”

“Well, I figured… since you’re trying to learn sensing… I brought you silkworms.”

Sasuke’s eyebrows scrunched up. “Silkworms?”

“Yeah,” Sakura said. “To practice. I know it may sound weird… but you can try to sense what’s going on inside the box… the little lifeforms inside… how many of them there are, what they’re doing, where they are… that’s how I learned. Except I did it with an ant colony. But I figure it will be easier with larger life forms such as these.”

Sasuke nodded slowly, opening the box. “Do I have to feed them?” He sounded horrified at this prospect.

Sakura laughed. “You just have to add leaves occasionally. Have you never had silkworms before? As a kid?”

Sasuke’s nose scrunched up. “That was more my brother’s thing.”

Sakura blinked. She’d never heard him talk about his brother before, hadn’t even known that he had one to begin with. Huh… odd. Something was up with that, she could tell. Aware of Sasuke’s mercurial moods, she decided it was best not to pry. Instead, Sakura tapped the box with the silkworms.

“Oh. Well, you don’t have to keep them if you don’t want to. I just… I thought it might help. With the sensing thing! Not that I thought that you _needed_ my help or anything. I just figured I’d help you… because you’re my friend. Um. I’m rambling.”

Sasuke snorted. “It’s… fine.” He advanced into the flat and more or less bumped into things until he’d made it to the kitchen table. He grimaced. Then he placed the box on top.

Sakura frowned. The flat gave her bad memories. “Have you thought about getting a new place?” she asked quietly, leaning against the counter.

Sasuke paused, an oddly thoughtful and sort of pinched expression crossing his face. A moment later, he accidentally walked into the fridge, then stumbled back and proceeded to fumble around until he’d found the latch. Once this was accomplished, Sasuke at long last opened the fridge and Sakura realized that he apparently wasn’t going to answer. But that was okay, Sakura knew that it was best not to push if he didn’t want to talk about it. After a few failed attempts at opening the fridge, Sasuke attempted to find something inside. Sakura wanted to help him, but she refrained, recalling Kakashi’s advice. Finally, his hands closed over the lettuce and he turned back to the table. A few minutes later, some salad leaves had been successfully added to the silkworms.

“You know, Sasuke…” Sakura ventured hesitantly. “When something’s going on, you have to tell me. I can’t read your mind, so… I want to be there for you, but you’ve got to tell me how.”

Sasuke was quiet for the longest time. “Train with me,” he said after a moment. 

Sakura tried to hide the surprise from her voice. “That’s… okay. I can do that.”

Sasuke nodded, apparently pleased. He took a broom that was leaning on a wall and twirled it once. “I want to learn how to fight with a bo staff.”

“Oh. That’s… wow.”

“Hn. Do you know if Kakashi’s around?” 

“He had a mission, but I’m sure even if he can’t teach you, he could recommend someone else. If I see him, I could tell him to drop by?”

Sasuke nodded. “That would be… ideal.” Though he didn’t say anything, his expression was thankful.

Sakura smiled, a little sadly. “It’s nothing, Sasuke.”

  
  
  
  


After Rio had left with promises of getting the paternity test done that evening, Inoichi, Shikaku, Hiashi, Ibiki and Kakashi were all left alone in silence. But there was work to be done, memories to be analyzed, and so they got to work.

If Kakashi already found being in Río’s presence unsettling because of her mind-reading abilities, then the experience of letting Inoichi put a hand on top of his head was way worse. It didn’t make sense – Río was by far more dangerous than the man (she was the mindflayer!) and also from Root – but somehow Inoichi’s hand on Kakashi’s head just made him want to bolt in the opposite direction all the same. The man’s expression was so serious now in contrast with his usual easy-going mannerisms that Kakashi was more than a little unnerved (and so was everyone else in the room, he noticed), but it wasn’t just that. He couldn’t quite put his finger on it, but he almost felt… as though he had been in this position before. The recollection was more a bunch of sensations than anything, as though from a dream long ago. An unpleasant dream. The sensation of someone’s hand clutching his face came to him forcefully. Someone’s hand covering his sharingan, and the sight of a bone poking out of said hand, the feeling of terror that his sharingan was being covered and he was now defenceless, followed by the sensation of falling, falling, falling… 

Kakashi felt horrified.

What was that? Was that really just a dream? Or was it something more, something real? But before his thoughts could spiral down the rabbit hole, Shikaku’s voice shook him out of the reverie.

“Well,” the Nara drawled. “Why don’t we start off by watching the memories of how our own kids performed in the test? I heard they all did pretty well, and since they’ve all passed, it’s likely that they came into contact with a significant number of sand genin.” The suggestion wasn’t fooling anyone – it was clearly geared toward easing off the tense atmosphere in the room. Unsurprisingly, it worked like a charm. Ibiki of all people (who didn’t have any kids) jumped on the suggestion like a man who had been thrown a lifeline, and even Kakashi found himself agreeing. Inoichi didn’t say anything, but he, too, perked up a little bit. It was a well-known fact that he was a family man. 

The only one who didn’t seem thrilled at the prospect of watching his child perform was Hiashi. Kakashi has heard from Kurenai that the man’s oldest daughter (and heiress) wasn’t exactly a fighting machine (though Kurenai had politely used the term “gentle soul”), and proud man that Hiashi was, Kakashi could imagine that he wasn’t exactly thrilled at having to watch all the other heirs thrive whilst his own daughter wilted. And have everyone else see it too.

 _Suits him right_ , Kakashi thought. 

His ruminations were quickly wiped from his mind, however, once Inoichi’s hand returned to his head – this time to stay. The experience of having one’s mind read was the weirdest Kakashi had ever had, more so when his own memories suddenly began appearing on command, without him voluntarily bringing them to his head.

It was so weird. The recollection was much clearer than anything he‘d have been able to remember on his own.

They were watching the Ino Squad plot.

_“Um, uh, mmm…” Hinata stuttered suddenly. “Ino-san… could I… um, could you leave Neji-nii-san to me?”_

_Ino blinked, surprised. “Are you… sure?”_

_Hinata didn’t look sure at all, but she nodded. “I have an idea to, um, defeat him? B-but…” her eyes fitted around nervously. “I would need someone to – to distract him first? Um, because he can see chakra? So… so a lot of people would have to s-surround him so that he doesn’t… see so, um, clearly anymore?”_

_Ino nodded slowly. “So…” she ventured, appraising Hinata. “You want to, like, saturate Neji’s byakugan with so much chakra around him that he won’t notice you approaching?”_

_Hinata nodded, a fierce look on her delicate face. The two girls smiled at each other._

_“Alright then, Hinata,” Ino declared. “I’m trusting you with this.”_

Kakashi chanced a look around the room. Inoichi’s eyes were closed in concentration, his hand still over Kakashi’s face, but he was smiling now, as though the sight of his daughter had brightened his dark mood. 

He glanced around the room. Shikaku, Ibiki and Hiashi were all sitting in chairs. Their eyes were closed, except for Ibiki, who occasionally opened them to take notes. 

Huh, thought Kakashi. He hadn‘t pegged Ibiki as a note-taker.

Hiashi looked oddly constipated, like he‘d swallowed a lemon and was trying to look for the closest rubbish bin to spit it out. On his part, Shikaku looked asleep.

“Kakashi,” Inoichi admonished. “Close your eyes. You need to focus or I’ll end up hurting you.”

“Yes, yes…”

Kakashi sighed and shut his eyes, though the sensation of blindness made him uneasy. Poor Sasuke, he thought again.

_Ino was crouching behind a water deposit in the hospital roof. She was looking keenly at the fight unfolding in front of her, poised in a way that spoke of chunin and not genin._

_Ahead of her, the rest of the Ino Squad was duking it out against their enemy competitors. Memory Kakashi glanced over to Hinata. She was advancing stealthily toward Neji. She was good at hiding, this girl, thought memory Kakashi, even as he watched her use some of the other genin in order to cover her tracks. Adding them and the bedsheets, which hung over the clotheslines, she was like a ghost, gliding forwards, as invisible as a breeze._

_Unfortunately for him, Neji was too busy fending off his other ten assailants to notice this breeze; in fact he never saw her coming until it was too late._

_Like a wind that suddenly picks up into a hurricane, Hinata suddenly shot out from behind a sheet, covered by it until the last second. A split second later, Neji heard her, turned around, realization and shock coalescing upon his face at once, but by then Hinata’s hand had reached into her pouch for what would turn out to bring Neji’s impending demise. She’d started to jump even as her hand retrieved something and extended forward. Neji’s byakugan honed in on her, but by then Hinata had released what she was holding — had thrown it — Kakashi amended, right into Neji’s face._

_It was pepper._

_Shikaku, Inoichi, Ibiki, and most notably, Hiashi, watched open-mouthed as Neji went down like a sinking ship. He was flailing blindly due to the pepper, and not one to miss such a chance, Hinata tied him up with a flourish. His ‘gentle’ fists were now tied behind his back, his prodigal eyes shut in pain. Hinata had won. Just like that._

_The wilting heiress had thrived, and she was smiling broadly. It looked so odd on her normally reserved face that Ino, who during this altercation had managed to possess one of the sound nin, whilst Kankuro’s puppet held him down, did a double take inside the other guy’s body (and was nearly pushed off the roof for it). Meanwhile, Lee was shouting triumphantly, the bed-sheets clutched in his right hand while he executed a fist-pump with the left. He looked odd without the green jumpsuit, Kakashi found. Odd, but better. Lastly, Choji had taken down the nin dubbed as ‘glasses wanker’ who had turned out to be a shadow clone, the real version of him missing._

_The Ino Squad had won. Ino, who had returned to her body at once, ran toward Hinata and enveloped her into a tight hug that ended up lifting her off the ground. Hinata squawked horrified even as Ino twirled her around delightedly._

_“Yes! We did it! I can’t believe we did it! YES! Well done, Ino Squad!” she screeched joyously._

_Hinata smiled at her. “I… I’m grateful you trusted me, Ino-san,” she confessed quietly._

_Ino let go and smiled at her. “Of course I trusted you. And you did great!”_

_“I… yes,” Hinata said. “It’s just… most of the time, I feel like no one trusts me with anything. Not even the simplest task. I just…” She looked away. “You remember Sakura-san?”_

_Ino blinked. “Yeah. You mean when she beat you back then? At the finals, for the taijutsu exam?”_

_Hinata nodded. “Watching her win… it… it gave me hope.”_

_Ino stared at her dumbly. “Um. Sorry?”_

_Hinata shook her head wryly. “I mean… no one was expecting her to win. No one supported her or thought she could do it… it’s the same as with my family. Everyone thought that she wasn’t strong enough to win. And… maybe she wasn’t. But she found a way to win an – anyway. And that… that really inspired me. If she could win against the odds… it taught me that so can I.” Hinata smiled, small but hopeful. “And now, you trusted in me. So thank you, Ino-san.”_

_Slowly, a bright grin extended over Ino’s features. “No problem, Hinata. Don’t think I didn’t notice you barely stuttered just now.” She winked and Hinata went_ _beet_ _red._

_“I-Ino-san!” she squeaked._

_“But if you think that this makes you Forehead’s rival,” Ino added, “then you’ve got another thing coming. ‘Cause I’m her rival_ and _her best friend. So… just letting you know.”_

_“O-of course not! I would never presume — I-I’m so sorry!”_

_“I’m just messing with you, Hinata!”_

Kakashi cracked an eye open to look around the room. Hiashi had a strangely touched expression upon his face that he was sure wasn’t meant to be seen, and upon closer inspection, his eyes looked kind of moist. Yup. Definitely not meant to be seen.

He looked away quickly and around the room. Inoichi’s face, he noted, was now positively glowing with pride, even if it _was_ sort of dampened by what had happened earlier, while Ibiki looked constipated, as though so much sentimentality had given him indigestion. By contrast, Shikaku’s expression was reserved and thoughtful, almost meditative. Well, his son hadn’t made an appearance, so Kakashi supposed that there was no reason for the Nara to get side-tracked right then. Kakashi would’ve been lying if he said he hadn’t felt proud of Sakura-chan too in that moment, even though she hadn’t technically even been there. It was just… his cute, little genin was inspiring everyone! Awwww. He was sure his old teammates would’ve been proud too.

Kakashi was so lost in his musings that he nearly punted Inoichi through the wall when the man pinched him. Inoichi stared at him blankly. Kakashi, having just managed to reign in his impulse, smiled innocently. Inoichi gave him a dirty look.

“Kakashi,” the blonde hissed at him “Pay. Attention.”

Rolling his eyes long-sufferingly, Kakashi nodded and let them drop shut again. By the time they had watched Shikamaru’s defeat of Gaara, Shikaku’s face had acquired a secretly delighted quality. All the clan heads were looking extremely content, until the moments leading up to the end of the test came, where all the passing candidates would have to make it back to the hokage mountain. Unfortunately for Shikamaru, this involved being chased by Gaara across the entire civilian market (Temari and Tenten hot on their heels), whilst for the Ino Squad, this meant making it to the hokage mountain with the bed-sheets, whilst also avoiding getting caught by Dozu, Neji and the other stronger genin, who were now all thirsting for revenge.

In the end, it all came down to a mad dash up the cliff of the hokage mountain, which in other words meant that anyone not good enough to tree walk like a pro was left behind. This included one purple haired (and wailing) Ami Nakamura, who had tried to hold onto Choji’s back as a means to get lugged up the mountain as well. Unfortunately for her, Choji had other ideas in mind, and ended up dropping her like a hot potato. This was not the case for all the civilians, as Ino demonstrated by helping Makoto up, though it was the general trend. Most unfortunately for them, Neji and Dozu managed to catch up exactly at the same time as Shikamaru, Temari, Gaara and Tenten reached the hokage mountain.

Shikamaru’s face by then was so red that it looked like he was about to have a stroke, so Ino, who clearly commiserated with her teammate, tried to help him… and that was the beginning of the end.

_“Hey, everyone,” she shouted even as she and the others sprinted up the mountain. “Do you see that lazy bum over there?” she pointed in Shikamaru’s general direction. “Let’s all transform into him!”_

_Most of the Ino Squad did, though this turned out to not be such a great idea, since Gaara’s next course of action was to attack the entire Ino Squad as opposed to just Shikamaru. In their frenzy to get away from the crazy sand shapes, they ended up dropping a large percentage of the sheets, and Temari’s subsequent gust of wind (aimed at Tenten’s general direction) made sure that anyone who had held onto their sheets let go of them as well. Unfortunately, this also meant that all of the fruits which had been fastened to Gaara’s gourd ended up spilling out and into the wind, something which happened to Tenten’s stolen goods as well. Choji tried to repair the mistake by jumping in his signature ball-roll attack, but the wind was too strong even for him, and so he ended up being dragged in an upward draft by it, and subsequently_ _squashing_ _all the fruits and the sheets against the ground, resulting in a very dirty pile of goo-covered bed-sheets with an extra layer of sand mush, which were now sprawled atop the hokage mountain._

_As everyone started making it to the top of the mountain, it was amusing how each person that did stopped dead in their tracks and stared in horror at the pile of goo and bedsheets that was their day’s hard work._

_By the time that Ino (who was carrying Makoto on her back) made it, she screeched in horror in a tone so loud that probably the entire village heard. And that was when, to their collective horror, the real Kakashi Hatake appeared._

Kakashi eyed the clan heads in the room, all of whom had annoyed expressions plastered upon their faces. Privately, he thought that the irked looks they were shooting him were nearly as hilarious as the ones that their children had.

Yes, all of them were deliciously annoyed… save for one person, Kakashi noted peevishly. On the other side of the table, Shikaku Nara for some reason looked delighted instead. He was shooting Kakashi an appreciative sort of look, as though impressed with his idea for the exam… which only served to make Kakashi uncomfortable. Frankly, he was used to people considering his modus operandi quirky and odd. They didn’t understand why he was doing seemingly random and whimsical things until long after the fact – if at all – and were generally infuriated and exasperated with him regardless of the outcome, just as Kakashi had planned on them to be. That’s how he liked it, setting people off balance was as much a part of him as his mask, and he rejoiced in it. However, the look Shikaku was now giving him was neither exasperated nor infuriated. Nay, it didn’t even suggest that he was wondering where on earth Kakashi had gotten his insane, chaotic ideas from! Rather it was a look of appreciation, as though he’d suddenly discovered that Kakashi was in fact a kindred tactician, as though Shikaku considered his strategy for organizing the second task _interesting_ ; a study in subtlety and emotional layers – not some crazy mess of a plan, concocted haphazardly and in the span of five minutes, with the sole objective of getting the genin to do his groceries for him. 

…well, to be fair, Shikaku would be right in thinking that.

Most people in the village would’ve probably felt flattered by the Nara’s assessment – it was sort of a compliment, after all – but Kakashi just felt exposed in an unsettling sort of way. He liked keeping people on their toes, watching from a distance as they traipsed about, trying to decipher his unconventional behavior and failing spectacularly at it. He knew from that one look however that Shikaku Nara would likely see right through him, and might even try to actually _seek him out_ after this. God forbid, that would be… he’d rather avoid the man’s knowing gaze, thank you very much. ‘And why not do so?’ Kakashi thought to himself. He had already shared all his memories after all. He was no longer needed. 

“Ma… Looks like my job here is done, ne?” he drawled happily into the silence, avoiding the Nara’s eyes. And with those words, Kakashi hightailed it out of there.

  
  
  
  
  
  


Later that day, Sakura had been walking home when she spotted a few kids trying to climb a tree by the park. It was the same place where the pageant had taken place. Sakura stopped walking to watch them, lost in memories, until she noticed that on top of the tree, there was a nest. Three little crow chicks were chirping within, all three appearing scared to death as they watched a laughing boy climb higher and higher. The crow parents were nowhere in sight and it was clear that whatever might happen once the boy reached the nest, it wouldn’t be good for the chicks. Two of the baby crows took flight, but one was unable to, chirping helplessly in face of its destiny. Sakura didn’t wait around any longer. Sure it was cliche, but she would save the bird. And so she advanced toward the boy and, once she’d made it to the tree, ignored the shouting children waiting at the bottom and began her ascent. She bypassed the climbing boy easily, advancing onward until she’d made it to the nest. She knew that taking the little crow chick away from it wouldn’t be the brightest idea, but neither was leaving it there. Even if she told the boy to go away, he might come back later out of spite. 

“Hey,” she said softly. The poor crow had a broken wing that was caked in blood. So that was why he couldn’t fly… “Hey, little guy,” Sakura whispered. “Shhhh…” The poor crow was trying weakly to flee, but Sakura kept him secure between her palms. He was so small and frail, she felt protective of him, more so now that she had a summoning contract with crows. “It’ll be okay,” she murmured. “I’ll get you back to your parents. Don’t you worry about anything.” 

Giving the gaping boy a last, glacial look, she carefully clutched the little crow to her heart and descended from the tree.

  
  


A few minutes later, she’d made it to her home. Carefully, Sakura applied a healing salve to his wound and petted him soothingly. She didn’t know what else she was supposed to do so she summoned Shi-chan to ask for his counsel. Shi-chan insisted that they needed his master’s input. Five minutes later, Itachi was standing in her bathroom and helping her dress the wing injury, working silently to heal the poor crow. Sakura watched him apprehensively, though there wasn’t a doubt in her mind that the crow would heal well. The situation was oddly reminiscent, Sakura mused, of when they’d rescued Tora what seemed like ages ago. Finally, Itachi straightened and started cleaning up their makeshift workstation.

“So?” Sakura questioned quietly, nodding toward the little crow.

“She’ll be fine,” Itachi replied.

“She?” 

Itachi nodded, his lip quirking up slightly. 

“Whoops!” Sakura blushed, feeling sheepish. “So the crow wasn’t, in fact, a ‘little guy,’ huh?”

Itachi nodded his head absently, but his mind was clearly elsewhere. They continued cleaning everything up in silence, until Itachi stopped suddenly.

“Sakura.” His tone was serious, more so than what she had heard in a long while.

Sakura turned around, worried that something had happened to the crow chick, but she found Itachi looking at her instead. “Yes?”

“I’m leaving,” he said softly.

For a moment, Sakura just blinked dumbly at him. “Wh-what?”

“I’m leaving,” Itachi repeated.

“Out of the village? Now? But… but you’ll come back, right?”

Itachi looked away, out of the window. “I don’t know.” He sighed. 

“What do you mean, you don’t know?!”

He sighed again. “I won’t be able to train you henceforth. I’m so sorry…”

“But, but… that’s not why I’m so shaken!” Sakura exclaimed. “Don’t you get it? You’re my friend. You can’t just leave!”

“It’s not by choice,” he admitted.

“But then you’ll come back.”

Itachi couldn’t meet her eyes. He knew that in a matter of weeks the invasion would be underway. It was very possible that his current mission wouldn’t be finished by then. And if they were especially unlucky, the circumstances of the invasion might start a war… in which case, he might be required at the front lines of either side and in any case, no doubt far away from Sakura. 

Itachi frowned. 

“You’ll come back,” Sakura repeated. “Right?” 

“I will try,” he told her earnestly. “I will try…” But he couldn’t promise her a damn thing. Itachi stared at his white knuckles and thought of all the things he always did wrong.

“Ita-kun…” Sakura sighed. “This whole thing… it sounds kinda serious. Not like a normal mission.” She frowned. “Is it because of that thing Shi-chan told me about? That danger looms on the horizon, or something like that?”

Itachi frowned. “He told you that?”

“Yeah.”

Itachi sighed.

“Is it true?” Sakura pressed.

Itachi was quiet for the longest time. “Just be careful, Sakura.”

There was no need to be a rocket scientist to know what that meant. Shi-chan had been right. But in that case… Sakura frowned. “And what about you? Is that why you’re leaving? To do some super secret recon mission?”

Itachi chuckled softly. “Something like that. I’ll leave Karasu to monitor the situation here, and–” He was about to add something else, but suddenly he broke out into a horrible coughing fit. At first, Sakura wasn’t too worried; she simply patted his back. But the coughing fit just wouldn’t stop, becoming harsher and harsher, until it started to sound scary. Terrified, Sakura filled the rinsing glass with water in hopes that it might help, but when she turned to give it to Itachi, she was shocked at the sight of blood. It was red and terrifying, bits of it dripping over his chin and a larger amount splattered over the white tiles of the bathroom. For a moment, Sakura froze. And that was when it happened – something was in Itachi’s mouth. It was large, dark, and caked in blood. After more of that horrible coughing, he spat it out. The mortifying thing landed wetly on the bathroom tiles.

As abruptly as it had started, Itachi’s coughing fit stopped. He opened his eyes slowly, blinking them until he could see again. Then they landed on the offending thing that had come out of his mouth and went wide. He and Sakura exchanged glances, both lost on what to do.

“What… what is that thing?” Sakura asked, drawing nearer to it.

Itachi shook his head, looking faint. “It looks like some sort of plant…”

Plant would be a kind way to put it. It had red, blood-caked spikes poking out of its stem, thin and lethal-like needles about the size of Sakura’s pinkie finger. To top it off there were some roughly-textured leaves and one lone, purple flower which crowned the whole thing, wet with grime and mucus and blood like the rest of it, and ugly as hell. Sakura stared at it in horror.

“Ita-kun,” she said faintly. “I think you have a plant growing inside of you.”

Itachi, who had gone as pale as the dead, nodded slowly. “I think so too.”

  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope y'all liked it. I have a beta now, the wonderful Natarie/Ri so if the quality's better than usual you know who to thank for that. Interested in your thoughts!

**Author's Note:**

> [ Click here ](https://thinknicht.tumblr.com/) to say hi to me on tumblr! I’d love to meet you :)


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